I've Had It - Brokeback Bible Belt

Episode Date: May 14, 2026

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So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready, one, two, three. Patriots, gay, treats, they triots, black triots, brown triots. We love you and all of Maga, every single one of you, one-time voters, two-time voters, three-time voters can do what pups? All right. Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with is at my gym.

You know, they have classes like yoga and ploddies that you take your stuff. shoes off. That's fine. What I've had it with is the people that after the class walk around the gym with bare feet, I just find that to be somewhat repulsive. I just don't think bare feet should be where the machines are and everything. I mean, I take my shoes off for classes, but it's just growth. I've decided I kind of have an anti-foot thing working. I just don't want to see people's feet. Is that part of your anti-sex thing too? Like no feet? Here's the deal. I would rather have sex than see your feet.

I would. Wow. Okay. I mean, that's a strong statement. That's pretty bad. No, Josh. So the feet, people, people's feet, you just lose your mind. What about people in a sandal or a flip flop?

That doesn't bother me. It just like, when you come up. Why do you care if they're bare for it, though, in the gym? Like where the machines are and everything. It's just right. But is there something more? germy about a foot than a shoe? Is this at the gym?

Yeah. Yeah. Especially when they have that outside class and walk in. Yeah. It's just not appropriate. It's not appropriate. But pumps, I want to say this too because you've been outed before vaping at the gym.

And I don't think that's appropriate either. So I'm torn here. I think that's a very fair criticism. I do think, though, that seeing someone walking around barefoot at the gym when you're trying to work out, get your flex on, it's a little bit. discerning. Like, I agree with you, pumps. Like, I wouldn't like... Socks or no socks? What do you mean?

The barefoot people that are walking around, are they completely barefoot? Completely barefoot. And then did they continue exercising barefoot? Yeah. Like, get on the treadmill, I just, I don't know. Wait, hold up. On the treadmill? Well, no, the excerpt, what? The unicycle elliptical. Yeah, the stairmaster? Barefoot? Yes. On a stair steerer? Yes, I was sitting on the bike and this gal walked out of the deal, walked out of class. She popped up on there and I was just like, ew. Yeah, that's bad, pumps. That's pretty bad. I would think that that would be a safety hazard.

I would think so, too. I would think no one would want their nasty feet all over the place. Let's say this. So, Jennifer and I had to go to this party where we had to take our shoes off at the party and I'm wearing a suit, black suit, black, you know, black tie, white shirt, looking dapp as fuck. And then I have to take my shoes off. I look like, you know, it's Christmas morning, I'm going to open presents or something. I've got socks on. Like it just really takes away from an outfit.

When you remove the shoes, it's a killer. It's a killer. Yeah. I agree with that. But I think if people ask you to do it and you're in their home, you have to do it. I appreciated the request because these, it was hosted by these two girls. just gay men and they have a really boozy ass apartment and they just had their floors refinished and they didn't want everybody you know schlepping all over their floor and as only gay men

would do they had a huge bowl of all sorts of socks that you could choose from to put on and they had a beautiful closet that you could go and put your shoes in the closet they weren't just all huddled at the floor it was very mindful it was very thoughtful I I'm sorry somehow being made out to be the asshole here. And I want to say this. I don't think you're the asshole. I understand why you didn't want to take your shoes off because you thought they looked great with your suit. I'm saying in this instance, I didn't mind it because of how thoughtful the gays were.

Two separate things, not asshole and you. I don't know that I minded it. Like, I certainly respected their wishes not to have people in their home with shoes on. But it damn sure took away from the look I was trying to give to. I mean, both things can be true at the same time. I was trying to give off a certain vibe. The shoes off took away that vibe. Josh, what have you had it with?

Okay. I've thought about this long and dear before I sat in this chair. I have had it with white men that drive big pickup trucks that are pussies. That's it's epidemic. It is absolutely epidemic. And so let me preface that by saying I have this sort of recurring dream because I drive an SUV. I probably, you know, look like I'm one of those liberals. But I have this recurring dream that like we get to this light and maybe I'm trailing this guy too closely or something. He flips me off.

I flip him off. He's got a big MAGA sticker, all the shit on his truck. It's a big F-150, you know, four big tires. He gets out. He's got a camo hat on thinking he's just getting ready to whip this guy's ass. And then I throttle that poor mother. fucker until someone has to literally grab me off of him, that we go at it toe to toe and just beat the piss out of him, as we would say down in Hugo. And I keep thinking about that over and over, that dream. And so I'm waiting. I'm violent fantasies too.

Pumps's venture on psychosexual fantasies, which is really interesting. Softball players too at that, I think. Right, Pumns? Female softball players. That was one time. I don't really have a lot of sexual dreams going back to that. What are my psychosexual fantasies? Well, I think that you'd like to spank, as we've discussed on the podcast before, I've heard you say, Kylie.

She wants to spank. She wanted to be a dominatrix against conservatives, correct? Like Ted Cruz, she wants to whip him and she wants to spank him and tell him he's a bad boy and he has a small penis. I think she could make a shit ton of money. She would. I really do. I think a lot of these men like it. I think a lot of them really enjoy it.

Like I think J.D. Vance enjoys being humiliated because why else would you work for Donald Trump? I mean, these men love being humiliated. Why else would you support Donald Trump and brag about it? They have a humiliation kink. Pump, you said that you don't have that many dreams about sex a few minutes ago. Do you remember that? Yeah. Do you have sex more than you have dreams about sex?

Or which one do you do more? Both are just base zero. Yeah, I don't think, do you dream more about having sex and you have sex? Or is it the other way around? I can't remember the last time I had. I mean, to be honest, the only real sex dream that I remember having that I hadn't worked out in my sleep was the lesbian dream. Is that with the softball player? She had a menager twa.

They were basketball players. But yeah, two OU basketball players. They were sisters, which is a weird king. It was an insect. sexual lesbian dream and you orgasmed. And I orgasm. I mean, I woke up and I was like, holy shit. So was this during the time period that you were going to women's softball games?

I'm still going to women's softball games. Yeah. And you're not a lesbian, though. No, I should be. I would love to be a lesbian. I would say this was like 20 years ago. I could look it up to the exact date when those. twins played at OU, but I'll spare you my looking it up.

Do you mind revealing who the twins were? No. Courtney and Ashley Paris. And they had a father who's an NFL player. Is that right? Yeah. Played for San Francisco. Yeah.

I remember. So it was during that era that you're sitting at home. Courtney Parrish was like the big. That's right. She was a big deal at OU. Yeah. And they're both like six, five. I mean, these are not.

you wouldn't look at these women and be like, oh, yeah, that's who I want to fuck. Yeah. I did. You're just sitting home fat and happy back then, aren't you? Just smiling, just having a good old time. Do you have a picture of these twins, Kylie, that you can pop up? So I don't think I've ever seen them. I know about your lesbian dreams, but I don't know that I've ever seen an image of the girls that got you off.

Yeah, these two. Yeah. Love it. I love this for you. It's fantastic. I mean, that's the highest compliment to these young women. Coming from a straight woman. Yeah.

For sure. Allegedly straight. Okay. It's a big allegedly right there. That's an underscore, that's an all-caps Trump tweet right there, allegedly. All right. Let me tell you all what I've had it with. Let's hear it.

I've had it with conversation belaborers. People that belabor conversations when I'm trying to exit, when I'm trying to leave. when somebody has started doing this in my life and really enjoys doing it. And he has started doing like dad jokes in the situation. Yeah. And then he says stuff like this. Okay, here's what's happening. We walk into a clothing store and Josh will be like, hey, I need that shirt.

And here's the size. And he'll say, I hope it'll fit me. You know, I'm pretty lean. I work out a lot to the sales guide. I'm sitting there. And he'll say, I have about, you know, four or five. body fat. I'm pretty fit. And I'm just sitting there going, I want to die. And then he goes, you know, I'm just saying all this to irritate her. And then we're just belaboring the conversation

where you have to do is say, I want this shirt, this size, put it on. Instead, we're talking about body fat. We're talking about I want to rile up my wife. And this goes on and on. And then we're exchanging business cards. And then on the way out, we're asking what people are doing. We used to be able to be efficient in situations like this. And now Josh just really likes grandstanding. My favorite part of that, too, is once I go through all the bullshit that I have, and then I look over there and I go, hey, are you mad at me? You know, then I probe even further, you know, and she's just like, I just don't want to

fucking talk about it anymore. And I go, what? What is it? What is it? You know, the whole time. I know. I mean, Jennifer runs a very tight ship. Like, she wants things in order.

She wants them efficient. And so if there's any ditty daddling around, she's not having it. And so sometimes I diddy dattle around intentionally. Intentionally. I mean, and I own it like I do it. And then I'll walk off and I'll think, I'm sure she's fucking pissed at that one. That was a really good one. Or I'll say something.

But this is also the perks of having been with someone for like 25 years. And she always says this about me. But do you know how many times I've heard her tell the same story? I mean, you know how many fucking times? I'm sure it's a lot. A lot. And there's three or four, three. four stories that are, you know, A plus zingers. I get it. They're fucking zingers. But I'm there for every one of them. You know, so after about 10, 11, 12 times, they're not zingers. They're not zingers anymore. They're annoying as fuck. But guess what Josh does? He takes one for the team because he loves his little princess. This is my grievance. And I just want you to know. And I'm sure that I put both of you through the ringer telling and even the even people that work here for sure have heard my bullshit.

But one thing that he does, right in front to where the sales guy can hear it, it's like, then we go into full-blown, are you mad? Is that irritating you? And I'm like, we're good. Like, I'm good. And I look at the sales guy. I go, we're good. We're just take the shirt. Because it's like, I don't know what's happened. I don't know what's going on. But it's like, he used to be on my team with this. Like, I want to talk less to people. I want us to be efficient. We were united in this. United. Like, we would both. watch curb your enthusiasm and marvel at Larry David's character about how he would try to limit unnecessary conversations. And this was a shared value that we had in our marriage. Josh is going rogue from this shared value. And now we no longer share this value. And now he's cracking dad jokes talking about the dad jokes. Look at how fit. And then we go into, well, you know, I used to be kind of chubby, but that didn't bother mama. He says shit like that. It's stupid. You deserve that. You deserve that one.

She doesn't deserve that one, Josh. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if we had a picture of me, like when she met me, we could show that and say, you fell in love with that guy. But I do agree that as we've gotten older, I do find some humor in poking the bear a little bit. Yeah. I think there's when the person that you love is sitting over there just madder than fuck at you, there's something so exciting about that. It feels good.

It's fulfilling. Yeah, it's fulfilling. Yeah. It keeps it exciting. Yeah. It's fulfilling. exciting. She failed to mention, I think I asked a Peloton instructor what his body fat was.

We talked about that on a previous episode. I'm so glad that we segue into this. Let me first before we do that, let me get us on track here with some comments that listeners have left on about Josh, the yak mouth. All right. The new yak mouth. Five stars. Josh is a gym by Jennifer 918. It's not me.

It wasn't me. I love the show, but I double love these bonus episodes, especially the ones with Josh. Jennifer 918. I may leave the Jennifer 405 for the Jennifer 911. That's coming. All right. And then the next review, Kylie, thoughts and prayers for Josh, 9.5% body fat. We're going to get to all of that.

Okay. And then the last one is when I was a. young twink in my 20s. I was super skinny and I had 10% body fat. No way Josh has 4%. I completely agree R2.45. I'm tempted just to take my shirt off right now. I'm considering it. If we need to go there, we'll go there. I'm not suggesting it. But if I have to, like if the blasphemy becomes too much, then we will. All right. All right, listener, I have this struggle. I look terrible without makeup, but I hate the caked on makeup look.

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Head to quince.com slash had it for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada, too. that's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash had-it for free shipping and 365-day returns quince.com slash had it. Let's let's discuss. I have briefed the audience on that you discovered that the body fat machine, per my tip, I was like, this body fat machine at our gym is not right. So you ordered your new body fat machine.

Now I am getting daily text updates as to, and anybody's weight, anybody's body fat, it's not meant to be taken every day because you're going to have a fluctuation based on salt, water, piss, poop, whatever. How many times a day are you checking your body fat with your new machine? Let me first say this. Jennifer gets two texts from me in the morning. It's my wordle and my body fat percentage. And it's a readout on the app from my phone. I screenshot the app and the body fat percentage because it blew two. with the scales. So every morning she gets that. And I think I was down like 0.03% maybe this morning. Anyway, what was your question? I forgot. Okay, I've got some. I think, Pompch, you take over the

interview here with Josh because I know that you have a lot of lingering questions about this. Yeah. Okay. How much, if you were to Google it between Claude and ChatGPT, what is the prevailing thought on how accurate it is that your body fat fluctuates every day. Is that common? I mean, I know weight does, but does body fat? It does, but you have to understand I'm measuring it down to the like millip pound or whatever it is. It's like 9.05 versus, you know, 8.80. Like it varies. It can vary every day. But there was some fraud going on, though, when I was getting these four and five percent body fats. I really thought that that's what my body fat was. and then I went and got this expensive scale,

and it shows that I'm about 9%, 10%, Thompson you want me to add you to that text thread every morning. Well, here's what I was going to say. I think what you're missing is that how many times do you do this? How many times do you get on the scale on a day? At least twice. Do you poop before you get on the scale or after? I get on the scale afterward.

Do you get on the scale wet or dry? Dry. And even if I'm wearing glasses, I'll take my glasses off. Even if I have like compression socks on, I'll take those off. I mean, it's a butt-necked way in because every, every ounce matters. Okay. Do you, have you ever thought about instead of screenshoting Jennifer the text, including her in on the app? So every time you get on the scale, she just gets alert. That's what I think needs to happen. I would like to do that. No. And I could just start sending like selfies, like instead of like body fat percentages, just say, okay, I was a little puffy here, but now I'm more fit. Now I'm more fit. I could just do that too. Yeah. But let me see if there's like a collaboration on the app.

There's the deal. If I'm going down, that cunt's going down for bringing this up. I'm bringing her down with me. If I'm on the app, she's on the app. That's the only way this thing goes down. I want Kylie and Ryan on the app too. Let me tell you how my morning goes down. So pumps text me every day too, by the way.

So this is my somewhat dysfunctional life. So when I wake up, I send my body fat percentage to Jennifer and my wordel. Pumps, you send me a text to tell me whether or not my color is called to go take my drug test. And we text like that every single day. Yeah, we do. Yeah. And so maybe I need to add you to the body fat percentage since you. For sure.

If I'm going down, pumps is going down. See, I would enjoy it because I know when you got it, you'd be like, oh. You would. I would be happy. No, you would. Okay. I do want to say this, though, one of my favorite texts that was recently sent to Josh Welch, it was the wordal text. And I can't remember what the word was in the end.

But you're on your last thing. It was like P-U. Yes. Like, lovey or pussy? Yeah. Yeah. He said, I was down at the end. I didn't know if it was.

puffy or pussy. Yeah. So I went with puffy for the wind. Everything in my heart wanted to spell out pussy on that thing. But I knew that it wasn't going to be that. I just knew it wouldn't. But it took every fiber in my being not to type

pussy instead type puffy. But I did. I got it in six. Okay. We have a story for Josh. Let's pop this up. Here's an NPR headline on AI flattering us. AI is a suckup.

Research shows how it flatters and suggests that we're not to blame. And here's a screen grab from this article. In a recent study published in the journal Science, Chang and her colleagues report that AI models offer affirmations more often than people do, even for morally dubious or troubling scenarios. They found that this sycophancy was something that people trusted and preferred in an AI, even as it has made them less. less inclined to apologize or take responsibility for their behavior. The findings experts say highlight how this common AI feature may keep people returning to the technology despite the harm it causes. And so, Josh, I thought this would be a wonderful opportunity to share about your relationship with both ChatGPT and Claude and the fight you got in with ChatGPT for gaslighting him. Yeah, and I got ChatGPT to admit this. So I asked Chat GPT a question like, does President Trump control the Department of Justice?

And then it gives me some answer that it doesn't. And then I have to like give it four or five examples of how he does, in fact. And then chat GPT says, well, there's a perception that he does, but blah, blah, blah. And then I take the word perception and I say, no, it's not just perception. And then I list all these examples. And then chat GPT apologizes and said that it will do a better job moving forward of being transparent. that I was right, blah, blah, blah. And, you know, this took about 20, 25 minutes as I'm working really hard during my day.

But, yeah. He called me and he goes, listen, I got ChatGBT, GBT to admit that it's been gaslighting me, which is pretty impressive. I sent you the screenshot, I think. Yeah, I do. I have the screenshot. ChatGPT apologized to Josh for gaslighting him about Trump's DOJ. Yeah, the admission on the record.

And I said, isn't there his picture up out there? Didn't he tweet Pam Bondian and tell her to do all this stuff? And then she did it. And isn't there this? Isn't there that? And they said, you're right. You're right. You're right. Okay. I'll do a better job. Yeah, I'll do a better job with you next time. But I don't know. I'm not so fond of this sort of lovey-dovey relationship with AI. Same. Here it is. Here's what Chat Chb-T said to Josh. He circled it and screenshot it and sent it to me. You can see that circle there. Anyway. It says, I do agree that I should have called it what it was, a fact. You're holding me to a higher standard and I respect that. Yeah. I'll make sure going forward that I stick to the facts.

No hedging. Let's keep it fully. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And Josh said, okay, thank you. And then JetGPD says, you're welcome. You're welcome. I'm glad we can have this honest exchange.

If anything else comes up, I'm here to tackle. it head on with you, exclamation point. Here was Josh's prompt that got it to admit. Okay, chat GPT, it's hard for me to believe that you will, quote, always aim to be as direct as possible when, in fact, you just did the contrary. You just said the contrary. You omitted a very important piece of the puzzle and used the word perception instead of stating a fact.

Do you agree with that, chat, GPT? Yeah. turns out chat gbt did agree with that but why did you break up a chat gbt and get right together with clod for that for that very reason the gaslighting for that very reason just lying to me i mean i appreciate chat gpte being sweet about it and i want to accept their apology we don't need to we don't need to split or divide here with any animosity toward each other we can we can both be kind about it but i mean it's over with we're done we're breaking up

It's for that reason. Just lying to me and shit. What is that president? Fool me once. Shame on me. You can't get fooled again. Yeah. Okay.

Here's the deal that. Doesn't this speak to like a higher issue with like society in general like the lack of the ability to say I was wrong. I'm sorry. And take accountability. I did that. I fucked up. Like to me that is like a huge gaping. sign and it's only going to get worse if AI is helping people avoid doing that. That's right. That's

100% right. And I really wanted Chat GBT, GBT to say that it was lying. Like, it just didn't satisfy me enough to say that it wasn't. Did that impact the breakup? That was part of it. Like, had Chet GPT been in the witness box and I'd been the lawyer, I think I could have finagled a little more of some contrition out of them and gotten that person to admit that they had really been dishonest and deceitful. But at some point, you know, I got to get back to work, I got to watch my show or whatever it is I'm doing. I can't just be fucking around with this stuff all day. Got shit to do. The next story, let's pop this up. House Republicans want to ban pride flags at embassies and stop orgs from mentioning trans people. House Republicans introduce five measures to restrict the U.S. from

promoting LGBTQ plus rights around the world. Each year, Congress must pass several large spending bills called appropriations to keep the federal government funded and functioning over the past several years. House Republicans have adopted a strategy of attaching unrelated measures to these bills called, to these bills called riders that attack LGBTQ plus rights. These measures often cannot pass on their own, although Senate and House Democrats have been effective at removing them most of the time. All five anti-LGBQ plus writers appear to be rules or executive orders implemented by the administration since 20, 25, January of 25, making them statutory law passed by Congress would prevent the next Democratic president from overturning the measures on their first day in office. The measures include a flag ban, an envoy ban, which cuts funding for democratic positions focused on LGBTQ plus issues. Contractor rollback allows federal contractors to discriminate against LGBTQ plus workers.

TransHealthcare ban. DEI TransGag Rule reinforces existing bans on DEI and trans inclusive language and federally funded organization. That's gross. Takes. Here's the deal. it's just they're coming for everybody. You know, it was the women. Now, overall, since the Trump administration, I might be making this up because you know I do that sometimes.

Haven't there been like 600 laws introduced around the country to peel back rights for LGT? I'm sure. Yeah, I think it's over 700. But even if there's a Democrat in office, you have local state governments like in Oklahoma. Right. these red states. It's a constant erosion of that advancement of equality. Go ahead, Poms. I'm sorry. It just also signals to me how fragile these people are. They are so fucking fragile. They are so worried about somebody's flag. They're so triggered that somebody might have a flag that they disagree with. It's just it's stunning how fragile these people are. And I think when we get back in office, we need to ban Republicans from embassy.

If you're just if you're just a Republican, but this is an example, like, and we need to remind ourselves of this. When we're back in office, you see the vile nature of what they do, how they do it. And if we get one person back in office that wants to play integrity politics when we're trying to fight people like this that discriminate against trans, gay, African American, whatever it is, and we're going to go in there and play nice guy, no, we better not do that. We see what kind of game they're playing. And that's what it makes me think of, is that, you know, this is a full-blown war.

It really is. It really is. It is a war for people's freedom. What pisses me off about this is how much people will allow this form of bigotry towards the LGBTQ plus community because they say the religion will not allow them to support equality. And that is the biggest lie and the biggest bullshit and the biggest weaponization of somebody's religion on the planet. Evangelical Christians are the ringleaders of this shit. And I would also say evangelical Christians are the ringleaders of all the people who every time I'm on the Internet are getting arrested left and right for some sort of possession of some sort of child, sex crime stuff on their phone, trying to hook up with some.

minor and it ends up being some law enforcement agent. It is disgusting to me how these people want impunity for their bigotry because they say their religion. Remember that old hag that what was her name? She's just off. She had that horrible hair and she'd been married Kim Davis. Isn't that her name? She wouldn't do the marriage license. Yeah. And then you have the the person who wouldn't bake the cake for gay people. And then you find out all of these, you know, all of these porn hub, wherever the trans searches are, it's all these red counties, deep, deep red places. Grinders crashing left and right whenever a group of Republicans get together.

You know, my favorite to talk about is Matt Schlapp. Matt Schlapp, the big CPAC guy, married to Mercedes Schlapp, who's a big fat Christian. And Matt Schlapp, Josh, I don't know if you about it. I remember him. He gets all liquored up and he goes around and he grabs the dick and the balls of his fellow CPAC goers, fellow conservatives. Really? Yeah, at CPAC conventions. And Mercedes Schlapp still trots around with her, I'm a Christian, married to Matt Schlapp, an authorized ball grabber on Twitter.

I'm never going to stop bringing this up because we hold our own accountable. Eric Swalwell was fucked up. He was sent out to pasture. I want to know why Matt Schlapp is running around CPAC grabbing the balls of other conservative men and their penises. How long ago was this? Kylie, would you please do an autop? There's been multiple allegations. Yeah, it's been three allegations.

He gets all licked up, and he's grabbing, he's grabbing cock. He's a cock grabber. He gets all licked up, and he likes. He likes cock. Dick, yeah. Then he likes to sexually assault men. But then he likes to also say that he's a Christian. and that he's a heavy person and they have this devout religion and faith and all that stuff.

You know, I sort of put those, there's two different types of those people. I think that there are a sect of MAGA Christians that are not very educated. And then there's another sect of MAGA Christians like him that just clearly used religion to manipulate. and weaponize. And they are smart. And they know exactly what they're doing. And I would put him more in the latter camp. Like a complete fucking hypocrisy. For sure. For sure. And I just want to point out Kim Davis with the bad hair. I think it was Tennessee. She was sitting there saying how moral she was. And I think she'd been married and divorced five times. Yeah, it's real psycho. I was just shocked that she got married that many times. I know that's really mean. And I'm punching down.

more than I am. 100%. That's what I'm saying. Pumps, you've only been married once and you're a million times better looking than she is. And this broad's pulling trains

over there in Tennessee. It's unbelievable the amount of cock that this lady's getting. Put up a picture of that lady. Kim Davis, this lady gets more cock than you, pumps. Not even close. Yeah, it's not even close.

I mean, she is over there pulling trains in Tennessee. God only knows. What's her? I'm assuming. She was a county clerk. Oh, county clerk that refused to sign marriage licenses and then sued. She's, you know, bed, wedding.

Her religion keeps her from doing this, but she's been married five times. Yeah. There she is. Josh, she gets more up than I do. Yeah. Wow. See, at first blush, I want to put her into the not so educated camp, but I don't want to be mean about it. Wow.

Pummsch, you need to get busy. Kylie, can you get us a report on Matt Schlapp and how many Dixie's grabbed? And I think they're younger. Look at, I think they're younger people at CPAC. They're not like his contemporaries. The first one, he was accused of groping a former Herschel Walker staffer. Yeah. Groping his crotch in October 22.

That one's settled in 2023. And then there was a fresh one February 2025. he was accused of groping another man at a bar in Virginia. We got a fresh one. We got a live one. Yeah. We have a live one. Yeah. Yeah. And Mercedes Schlapp, she still has her, you know, faith, family shit. And Mercedes Schlapp, while she's talking about all this family value shit, banning, you know, pride plaques. And she works over at News Nation. She fails to mention that Matt Schlapp is slapping his hands around. on cocks. And I want accountability for this. I just think Mercedes is probably fucking around. Her husband's obviously gay. So I would guess that Mercedes has some stuff on the side. What do you think, Cizzer? Or do you think it's a side piece? No, I probably would say, probably, Dick. I don't know. What do you think? Maybe she likes, maybe she's a pegger.

Maybe she likes to peg people. Maybe he likes to be cut by her. Maybe Matt Schlapp likes to be pegged. A little slap and technical. They're doing all of this, though, under the guise of religion. That's the thing. I don't give a fuck what Matt, whatever his name is. I don't think he should sexually assault people. I don't think you can grab cock without consent.

We are for cock grabbing with consent. Let me just put that. I've had it. We stand in solidarity with consensual cock grabbing. All right, now go on. I agree with that. But in general, I don't give a fuck what this guy does. but when you start preaching all this maga shit, this just goes back to Trump.

They had this fucking clown on tape in 2016 saying your favorite. Grab him by the pussy. Yeah. And now he's like the cold hero of Christianity, this guy. Bring you a religion back. The society that we live in is so fucked up that if you think about all these examples during the course of a day, you would literally want to grab the biggest syringe full of heroin and shoot that in your veins and in this fucking.

nightmare. Yeah. Because you just can't explain any of it. You can't explain any of it. They're all just fucking scoundrels, just scumbags. That's a great word, scoundrels. Yeah. It is a good word.

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Is Kylie? Oh my God. Kylie. Okay. March. 28th, 2024, the Christian Post. Matt and Mercedes Schlapp say, our faith sustained us amid lawsuit. A prominent political activist is crediting his, quote, faith in God with helping him as he faced allegations of sexual misconduct that he condemned. Here's the deal. Here's the...

Well, the source of that was the Christian Post, too. The Christian Post, but here's the deal. Matt Schlapp likes to slap his cock out. grab cocks unauthorized and they like to then you know these are the people that are probably like Christianity's under attack we're under attack and now they're like we couldn't do it without Jesus. JC and a little. A little. We think this has never occurred to me until right now.

Do you think we're going to have a big Christenome, big reconciliation and it's going to be how about their faith led them back to marriage? Big Titty Brian? Yeah. Or do you think we're just going to take our separate ways? Big Titty Brian, I believe the quote is, you know, I would normally feel bad for him if he and his wife weren't such dangerous, murderous hypocrites. Right. But he said he wanted to be a trans-bimbo slut. And so let's just think about this. The DHS lady that, you know, wore all these costumes and sent these people to Minneapolis took orders from Stephen Miller. Yeah, took orders from Stephen Miller

called the people that got shot by their federal government, called them terrorists. Meanwhile, Big Titty Brian, her husband is at home on Onlyfans and telling his dominatrix that he wanted to be a big bimbo trans slut and he wanted to change gender. And here's the thing. Like, I don't care that Big Titty Brian

Ryan wants to do that shit. But the fact that those fuckers go around telling everybody they have a godly marriage, just like the Matt Mercedes Schlapp and their fucking faith that got them through it, it's the grossest shit. And if any of you have ever lived in the Bible Belt, it's so ubiquitous that shit. You always know these Christians are fucking freaks to their core. They are the freakiest freaks on the planet. No redeeming qualities these people.

And here's a little bit of advice for them. They talk about how their faith has helped get them through these difficult times. And so here's maybe a little bit of a different take on it. Maybe you could use that faith to not allow you to go grab someone's dick without their consent. Maybe your faith could be a part of that decision-making process. Or maybe your faith would prevent you from, you know, fucking your neighbor. his wife or doing whatever it is you do. It's kind of like... But here's the problem. In order for Matt Schlapp to say, God, please help me not grab

cock, he would have to admit, God, I really like cock. And because the Bible, God has said, you, in this form of Christianity, being gay or being an unmarried non-virgin is like two of the biggest sins on the planet, not be a good person. None of that. They don't give a shit about any of that. And in the case of Big Titty Brian, if he wanted to go to God, to say, please help me not be a trans-bembo slut. He'd have to admit, I feel like a woman on the inside. I don't even feel like a man. And I really quite enjoy it when Christy pegs me. And so these would be very awkward conversations to have at Bible study and at the megachurch. Don't you think, pumps? Yeah, no. Everybody at the megachurch acts like they have the perfect marriage, that, you know,

there's no discrepancies between words and actions. And I mean, from my life alone, I can tell you that's a big fat pile of dog shit. But I wasn't the only one because once I, you know, went public. I don't know how to say it. Your husband went public. Huh? I think he went public when he emailed all of us. I mean, like so many people came up to me with their fucked up crazy shit that I would have never

know. So the actions and words think like the little secrets being hidden that people are just refuse to acknowledge because I'm with Josh like before you do something horrible, why didn't your faith kick in then? Well, it never does because they think, I'm not going to get caught. And it's only a problem if they get caught. But it's deeper. Their faith exacerbates their ability to be their true selves. So it exacerbates their denial. And it sets these people up for failure, kind of like in the last episode, we talked about how purity culture primes for rape culture. Absolutely.

And this heterosexual evangelical culture primes Matt Schlapp and Big Titty Brian, where instead of being their authentic selves, you know, we're involved in all of these scandals. And of course, they'll trot out. We're going to get saved again. That draws me into a point. And I'm not a Christian. But it seems like they get this bailout. right like you could it Christianity tells you that you can just go kind of fuck someone over you can go

fuck someone's wife you can be gay or grab someone's dick whatever you know whatever it is um and all you got to do is come in and ask that you be forgiven and you be saved and then we're going to wipe that away there's not going to be the consequence for that you still get to come to this kingdom you can go you know I guess in theory like Timothy McVeigh he could have just gone into the church after the Oklahoma City bombing where all these children were murdered and just asked for forgiveness and then you're just going to be forgiven. So what is that? I mean, just look at that objectively. Like, I don't believe any of those stories or any of that bullshit, but just look at that. What's the problem with that? The problem with that is that like there's no consequences

nor accountability for anything that you do because you just think that you can go in and erase it by saying a few magic buzzwords. And how fucked up is that? And how fucked up is that? Like, really, seriously. Well, I also think it perpetuates into, that's why people are so easy to be like, oh, that's fine. They said they were sorry. They're forgiven. They rededicated their life to Jesus. And so there's no accountability because they're used to it.

They're used to not having accountability. Yeah, but you see that with this guy's, this Matt guy's quote. Don't forget to say shlap. Slap. Yeah, nobody says it like Jenny. Yeah, but that's their all, that's their get out of jail free card. All of them do it. Like, and they pick these people for as their leaders that are.

awful fucking human beings just horrible. Anyway. Well, you know, there's all these rumors online too about Scott Jennings going out to Fire Island and doing bisexual stuff and doing gay stuff. And it just seems like every single time you turn around with these maga men, you have the leader of the party, Trump, always talking about how

hot he thinks men are, blaring phantom of the opera. You know, the familiarity, I'll never forget it when he leaned over the microphone on the campaign trial and he acted like he was giving it a blowjob. Just even that and that alone. If you think about Obama simulating oral sex on a microphone, his political career would have been over. Fox News, Jesse Waters, after he beat off 17 times, then he would go report on the news that his political career is completely over. They would have never allowed him to recover from him.

If Barack Obama were sitting there talking about the size of Shaquille O'Neal's cock, the way that Donald Trump was talking about Arnold Palmer's cock, it would have been game over. But there's all this gay-coated shit in MAGA. It's everywhere. It's fucking everywhere. And then they come full tilt for the things that they want to fetishize. They want to go full-tilt bigotry. And the people that have more bravery and more conviction and more guts than, every member of MAGA is the person that they think is some twink fairy, whatever.

Yeah. And that person, that twink, would have far more courage and conviction than Matt Schlapp, Mercedes Schlapp, Donald Trump, Moses Mike Grindr Johnson, the alleged bisexual Scott Jennings and all the other DL Demon Queens and MAGA combined. Is it because they believe this story about going to heaven? Is that, is that they're all in? that. I mean, I mean, some of, like, Trump is a fraud. He's just a straight out fraud. But I do believe, like Mike Johnson believes that he is going to go to heaven. And so all of this

crazy lying and horrible things that he's doing in service of Trump is fine. I want to just I just want to tell you, I think in Moses Mike Grindr Johnson's case, the stuff he's doing with Trump is what he thinks is an atonement. I think a lot of these men think we are going to go along with Trump because that's going to make us right with God because Trump's going to deliver America to be a Christian nation. And in the case of Moses Mike Grindr Johnson, you may remember my reporting from a year and a half ago or so when I deep dove into his living situations in Washington, D.C. And he lives with this evangelical pastor who, according neighbors, would always answer the door in his panties when Moses Mike came home from work. I no longer think they're living to

anymore. But I think the bargain with these men is we can do gay stuff and we can cock grab and we can be big titty. But how we're going to atone for that. And I think like even Clarence Thomas Alito, some of these hardcore Christians in the court, that's their bargain. We're going to deliver God. We're going to deliver America to God so that we can go do all the shit. That's the fucked up bargain they have in their brain, in my opinion. Is this Moses guys? He the one that he and his son had to like limit porn watching or shit, some kind of stuff like that. Exactly.

Yeah. He's a speaker of the fucking house. Yeah, no, I know. No, I know. They're all, it's just, it's like fucking cuckoo shit. Like, this is stuff you couldn't make up. And the fact that all these people follow and listen, it's crazy. I'm always amazed.

I sometimes try to tune out and then I tune in and I'm like, just where the fuck are we? Just before we get off, what you tell? remind Pops and tell the listener Kylie and Ryan and Seth tell them back when you were on Twitter and when you would just randomly tweet like Ted Cruz or Marco Rubio or like

what was the other speaker of the house's name? Ryan maybe. Yeah when you would just you would be on Twitter tell everybody about because this was so good well it was before I came back to the practice of law so I was doing photography. He had a

little bit of time on my hands, I think I would say. And I was into politics. Like I was, when Trump was running in 2016, I think I still had a Facebook account. And I would get on Twitter, I would get so fucking mad. And I would send like Ted Cruz a message telling, like I would say, hey, you go fuck yourself, Ted. Or, you know, like, it would be some, like, I was just as if he's going to read it number one, but I was so fucking pissed off that I would have to, and Jennifer would be like, what's wrong with you? And it'd be like, I'd fucking Ted Cruz. Well, you know, like two hours later, then I'm like,

I would have this kind of remorse. So, you know, I'm sure like a Christian repents kind of. It's like, why did I do that? I need to take that down. That's fucking stupid, you know, so then I'd go in and delete it. And it's just I really can't wrap my head around.

I mean, I know we live in Oklahoma, or I do, and pumps you're there, and Jennifer comes back and forth. And I understand the culture there, but it's hard for me to believe that really all these people really believe in this religion or do they believe in the fact that they can use religion to be a certain way? Like there's a distinction. Like, do you really believe?

Because I don't think they believe in the tenets. I don't think they believe in the tenets of religion. I don't think that because if you did, you would adhere to those things, which are not bad things, which I think that if you followed. But I think it's deeper than that. I don't know what they believe in that. they believe what it allows you to do. It's a really good point.

What do you think, Poms, to his proposal? Well, I think that's giving credit for critical thinking that doesn't exist. Like, I'll just say for my family, the religion, like, I would say I was raised in a non-religious household compared to my mother. Like, it was so religious that, you know, couldn't go to school dances, all that. So what I believe that it's primarily fear-based, like if I don't do this, bad things are going to happen or I might go to hell. But I do think that it's, I believe it's true every single word. I don't think, I think that what sets the part, obviously the critical thinking, but then also setting apart that the duplicity is built in. The dissonance is built in so that I can see.

say and do all the things that Jesus, you know, what would Jesus do? I'm straight down the line with him, but then I'm going to go out and I'm going to do the most racist, homophobic, hateful. Yeah. And I think, I think that's my point is that if you took this religion so seriously, you wouldn't see a lot of this discrimination coming from that side of it. You wouldn't, you would see a lot more compassion like the person I think Jesus was. Like if you took it serious, like if it was, if it meant something to you, like, if I study something and I adhere to it, whether it's Buddhism or whatever, and I believe in it, you don't just really believe in parts of it. But I think that it gives them, because there's too many racist people that are Christian. They're just are racist. But Christianity is racist. It tells you in

the Bible how to treat your slave. And white people indoctrinated the slaves to get them to submit to being owned and to be better workers. So, Religion is always about control and power, and Christianity is inherently racist. I mean, there's parts of the Bible that tells you how to treat your slave, and it was weaponized against the black slave population to get them to be more obsequious to the needs of the slave owners. So that's built in, and the KKK was a religious organization, and we have a crazy Christian problem in the United States of America. We have a racist problem. And the Venn diagram on those two

issues is pretty overlapped. All right. Listen, we could sit here and talk about this shit all day, but listen, don't be a crazy Christian. Don't grab cock. And don't grab cock without consent. If they say yes, go for it. No cock grabbing without consent. And also to Mercedes and Matt Schlapp, bullshit on your born again Christian post interview that y'all had to lean into your faith while Matt Schlapp is leaning in to cock that is the biggest jet stream of bullshit I have ever heard I can't take it I fucking hate these Christian hypocrites more than anything on the planet I talk about it a lot in my book not I think I do mention Matt Schlapp actually as you can tell I think about him a lot.

Not today, fascist, please pre-order wherever you get your books. And we also have a very exciting announcement. Josh is joining us on our substack as a legal analyst as well as Julia Sunnonshine and myself. We are really revving up our substack. That's where it's at. People are ditching newspapers. So it's a great way to support our show.

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