I've Had It - Dogs of Divorce

Episode Date: December 28, 2023

Jennifer and Pumps are joined today by Pumps' sorority sister and owner of Thirteen Lune, Nyakio Grieco. Nyakio recalls some stories of Pumps back in the day and how she taught her to be a 'lady'. The girls also discuss 'mean girl culture' and how to properly match a nude lipstick using a method that's sure to get you arrested. Come see I've Had It live on the Hot Sh*t Tour! More info & tickets available at https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast and subscribe to I've Had It wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you to our sponsors: Microdose: To learn more about microdosing THC go to Microdose.com and use code HADIT to get free shipping & 30% off your first order. ZocDoc: Go to Zocdoc.com/IVEHADIT and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps Special Guest: Nyakio Grieco @nyakio

So we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready, one, two, three. Ah, I mean, just the clap to end all claps. I mean, it's, you know what's so pitiful about us is we could sit here for about five to ten minutes each Tuesday and Thursday and talk about your clap and how good it was or how piss poor it was with the same enthusiasm. And like, oh, it's going to be a great episode because the clap was good.

Or this is going to set because the clap was bad. Like we believe in it. Totally. We believe in it. And our listeners believe in it. However, there are a few, there are a few skunks at the garden party that are dismissive of your clap and the importance of it in launching each and every episode. Right. They minimize our ability. All we're trying to do is help everybody.

This is when it starts. It starts with the clap. Here we go. We're knocking it out, starting with a great big clap. I recommend go, we're knocking it out, starting with a great big clap. I recommend when you wake up in the morning, even if you're partners specifically, if you're partners still asleep, just count yourself in one, two, three, clap. Yeah. And then just launch the day. Launch the day. See how that works out. Yeah. Do it. Probably not great if I'm guessing. What have you had it with? Okay. What I've had it with, I know it always goes back to cars But this really grinds my gears. We were just recently in a city that was all one way had no parking

The fucking parallel parkers that cannot parallel park What is is it one try is it to try at what point do you realize you're blocking traffic and it's never going to affect and happen. You can't pair a little park. And so I think too, I think if you can't get it after two, you have to be done. But I am a great parallel parker. So maybe I'm just ridiculously overly sensitive to people that cannot because as you watch someone, you know they're not going to be able to do it. And they can, like, I think the most we had was like five tries. So I've had it with people that can't parallel park and then continue to make the same mistake every time. So I'm wondering from you, what do you think, is it two shots, is it three shots, how many shots do you get? Two and done. Two and done? I agree. I think two, if you can't get it by two,

you're done. Find somewhere else. Two and done, you get two tries. Yeah. And by the second try, if you've not been able to execute the parallel park, you have to proceed. Right. Now, if there's nobody anywhere around and you're not blocking, swing for the fences. Agree. Go 25,000 tries, but let me ask you this. Are you a better clapper or parallel parker? Boy, that's a tough one. I would have to say, I mean, I'm a really good parallel parker, just because of the courthouse you've always had to parallel park. So I've had a lot of practice.

I probably have more practice parallel parking. I don't know. I mean, maybe I'm a better parallel parker than I am a clapper. Gotcha. Okay. All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay. Lay it on me. I've had it with coded language. Okay. And let me give you an example of this, like the phrase traditional family values. Oh gross. Yes. My problem is with the word traditional. Right. Okay. First and foremost, that is when people use that phrase, we're a traditional family. What they're trying to do and using that is further marginalize marginalized people. Agreed. like gay people, right?

And here's what people need to know. Most gay people, by virtue of stats, came from what quote unquote would be considered a traditional family, which is a man, woman, right, produced child, right? You know, now we have gays and lesbians that are couples that are adopting and or doing surrogacy. And that would be considered to these people, not to me, but to these people, non-traditional. But first of all, I have to say about this.

Number one, everybody fucking supports family. It's not like anybody is outgoing. Yeah, my name is Pops and I'm running for president and I supports family. It's not like anybody is outgoing. Yeah, my name is Pops, and I'm running for president and I post family. I hate everything about family. You know, just the fact when you have somebody bragging about something that is just universally accepted, and they say this is a positive value that I hold,

which is family, or something like, I support children. You know, it's like, well, no shit, Sherlock, you know? That doesn't make you the smartest guy in the room. But using the word traditional family values, that shit so pisses me off, because it's like, okay, first of all, okay, let's take Mike Pence. Okay, Mike Pence, he's a big traditional family value guy.

I think it's kind of fucked up that he calls his wife, mother. That's what I was just gonna say. I mean, his traditional family values gag me out, calling her mother weird. And I also, when you hear traditional family values, my immediate thought is misogyny. They want women to be subservient.

That is to, they use the word traditional, like ladies are younger listeners if you're dating a guy right now. And he says to you, well, I'm traditional. That's code for I'm a sexist misogynist. Correct. That is just, and it first, your in-love, fair amount riddled self might think, oh, he wants to open the door for me.

He wants to do the chivalrous, chivalrous, like activities for me. But what it means is he wants you home, right? Not having financial independence. Correct. And it's a red flag. No, I agree. And then as this goes into politics,

and you have people like Ted Cruz saying he's for traditional family values, I just want to remind the listener, and I think we need to bring this up at least two to three times annually on the anniversary of 9-11, a few years back. Ted Cruz, Mr. Traditional Family Values Man, Patriot galore, right, USA hard on out the wazoo, right, like a tweet that was from a porn site, right, which is neither traditionally a family value style tweet. And one could argue is somewhat anti-American to do that on the anniversary of 9-11.

Yeah. And I mean, I'm not probably eating people for watching porn, but he particularly should not be standing up there saying what a great Christian is and how he has traditional family values and then scrolling around on a porn site. I mean, that just it's counterintuitive. But are we surprised that Ted's, you know, in-to-porn? No. No, I'm not. No, the loudest, the loudest, most obnoxious people

objecting to something are the biggest offenders. They're just trying to hide it. Listener, if you vote for somebody that says they're for traditional family values, and then you voted for Trump twice. Fuck off. Please do not listen to our podcast block us on all social media. Please don't even leave a very well thought out. Hey comment on our reviews. Yes. Just go away. Go away. Welcome to I've had it.

Where we are fighting traditional family values. step of the way. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She is not in a traditional family. No, she's a divorcee. She's a divorcee. She is a divorcee. On the market for men or women, I personally am going to start accepting applications for review For women, I personally am going to start accepting applications for review and read those to everybody on Patreon. I think that would be so fun. Yeah, we were talking about it on the plane the other day. Wouldn't it be fun just to have a burner dating website profiles that you could see other people that you know are on there and see what they're saying and shit?

I mean, it'd be kind of fun. I just can't wait to make your profile. Judge Judy Diana. Yes, please. Uh-huh. Patron Saint of podcasting. Maybe I should get several bikini pics that I can add up there. Don't you think? Should I do my hanger trick on there? Hanger trick? Yeah, hang that wire hanger off your titty. Yeah, I think that'd be great. I think that's more only fans. Oh yeah. What do I, I always call it what? Fans only. Fans only. Carly always cracks me and I'm like, I just have a middle block to that.

You do. We'll be in a conversation and I'm probably like, yeah, you know, they have like a fan only account and then Carly kind of closes her eyes and she goes, only fans. Yeah. Carly, what's going on with you? Not much. Are you sick of us? No, not at all.

Oh, that's so nice. I bet that's a lie. It's not a lie. I mean, we you sick of us? No, not at all. Oh, that's a lie. I bet that's a lie. It's not a lie. I mean, we're sick of us. Yeah. So you have to be sick of us. Yeah. No, you guys are just such a delight. Aren't we just a real treat? You are. I mean, just nothing but roses and lollipops. Just beacons of positivity. A lot of people disagree with that, though, on the internet. They do. There's a lot of naysayers aren't there. There are. I've got some good hate comments for you. OK, get it.

OK, so we posted a video of you two with Josh Welch on the internet. OK. Someone commented collectively, worn out the J.J.'s like these fossils pictured above. Smell like vodka and cigarettes. picture above. Smell like vodka in cigarettes.

Dot dot dot. The gay friend doesn't help the smell either. And that gay friend is Josh Welch. What was this on a video? It was on Twitter. Yeah. On Twitter. On a video of you two and Josh. I love that.

That's a really good one. Yeah. That's a really good one. Yeah, that's a really, really great hate comment. The worn out Vijay Jays and the gay man. That should be our tagline. We should change the name of the podcast. This man wrote, I can smell the feminism from this podcast. And then someone commented,

and it smells like boxed wine and cat litter So first of all in his world Feminism is a bad Word it's a bad descriptor like right sounds like if you're a feminist you're just a real dick right in his world So my comment to that would be block us us, go away, go fuck yourself. Yeah, go fuck yourself. You know, here's something I found that we're doing this at the age that we're in, right, is society as a whole only really values women or sees their opinion demable during their birthing years. And then when you get to be our age, we're very dismissed. We're a very dismissed group of women in general. It's like, oh, everything and everything is surrounding our age or our vaginas.

It's a very ageous, sexist age that we're in. And listen, we have thick skin, I can take it. But I think it's a larger question. When men hit their 50s, this conversation doesn't really happen. Nobody's like running around, you know, saying, Limp Dick, I mean, pumps and I are to be fairer. Other than us. Other than us. But we're really petty. But it's women that are our age, whether it's other women are age or younger, it's like women are so only valued during their birthing years. And then once that, they're just literally sent out to the pastor.

And you see that echoed through every single platform that we're on, YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, all of them. It's a very, we're very dismissed because of our age. Right, we're past our prime, as they say. Yeah, yeah. Which I'm so much smarter now than I was when I was younger. Isn't that the truth? I mean, if I had this much life experience in wisdom

that I have now at 25, I might have like done something with your life. Done something with my life. Like, your cancer or something, probably not cure cancer, because I can't do math that well. But I would have done something more productive. I would have definitely made better choice. But the one resounding link between all the hate comments is ageism. Yeah. And it particularly is more targeted towards women. Now

listen, again, I'm not moaning about this. We voluntarily put ourselves on the internet. This is a volunteer position. We open ourselves up to all sorts of criticism by doing this and we're not victims of that. Right. We actually get tickled by it. But I think it's really funny that that's, they immediately, the immediate thing is you're shriveled up visions. I mean, that's the, and they think that that like hurts us, which it doesn't. But it's like that is something I think an interesting conversation to have in another episode about how women are really boxed into. These are the years that you're valuable. And then after that, get the fuck out of here. Everything you say is irrelevant, your vagina is irrelevant, get the fuck out. And that's the common link, wouldn't you say, Kylie?

Yeah. Hag is like the main word I see. Yeah. Bit or old Hag. Yeah. Bit or old cow was one of my fake girls. That's a good one. Yeah. And it's always dried up, yet ribbled.

They also assume you don't have kids, so that you're miserable. Right. Just whole another. Right. Like you have to have kids to be fulfilled in life, which is not true. Which we do have kids, we're just not the type of moms that sit around and talk about our kids nonstop because it's more fun to rail on the moms that do that than be the mom that does that. And kids stories are generally boring, horrifically boring, breath takingly

boring to hear about somebody else's kid. Right, nobody cares. Nobody fucking cares. Nobody but you. We're doing a public service by not talking about our children. That's right. I can't imagine if I had to say here and listen to you tell children stories every day. I wouldn't have left a long time ago, I wouldn't have made it.

No, I think the podcast would have changed immediately. Immediately. Nobody fucking wants to hear that. I do like your dog stories though. Yeah. See, I could live without the dog stories, too. Yeah. You know one thing I was thinking about a lot lately recently and Kylie will understand this, you won't, but oftentimes, you know, you're at a divorce attorney. So I want your input on this. Oftentimes we're always concerned about how divorce impacts the child. Right. And I've been thinking a lot lately about how divorce impacts dogs.

Oh my gosh. It's real. I wish you would not have told me that. But think about it. Like I see Cha Cha and Tebi and they have their own special relationship with me and then they have their own special relationship with Josh. And if one of us was gone, they have grief and they could have issues relating to that. And so if you ever had in your divorce career as a divorce attorney, like dog visitation schedules, or does anybody care about this? Does anybody advocate for the animal?

Okay, I have one story about that. I might have already told it on the podcast, but it's worthy of telling you again. So when I was just a baby lawyer, we had an older couple, probably our age is now. They only had two golden retrievers. They didn't have kids. So when they got divorced, they were fighting overseeing the dogs. So we did a schedule week on week off, like they were with data week, they were with mom a week, they were with mom a week, alternated equal time for the people.

So the hateful mean awful spouse soon to be expoused of my client. When it was her week, she took them to the vet and had them put down. Tell me this before I blocked it. Euthanize them to punish him. So that's incredibly fucked up. Shouldn't that be a crime? It wasn't at the time. I don't think it's a crime.

Do you have your dogs put to sleep? I think it should totally be a crime. Well, because the court, we had an agreement to the visitation schedule, but the court doesn't have a court order with visitation for the dog. I think she should be in the penitentiary. And to the death penalty. Seriously. But anyway, so we have people have fought ever dogs, but ultimately, it ends up becoming

a bigger hassle like the parties have to see each other when they exchange the animals. I would fight to the bitter end to make sure that I had equal visitation with my dogs. Right. I mean, that would be something that I would leave visitation with my dogs. Right. I mean, that would be something that I would leave money on the table, because I value and care about their health and well-being. And I just don't think this topic is discussed very often. What happens to the dog in divorce? Well, I think that's because there are a lot of other issues

more pressing when you're getting a divorce than how the dogs feel, which is why I think this needs to be discussed. Yeah, but I would say out of 100 problems that you have going through a divorce, even if the dog is the most beloved person in the family, it's probably 101. Kylie, how would you feel if you and Anna broke up and about Judy's well-being? It'd be a really big issue. Exactly. I get why people stay together for the kids.

Right. Some people might stay together for the dogs. Yeah. I just looked up online and there are a lot of articles of how divorce affects dogs and the side effects that come with it depression, anxiety, bad behavior, anger. I think we need to do an entire episode about this. Not only to highlight the struggle of the dog during divorce,

but also to torture pumps for a solid 45 to 55 minutes. Yeah, I was just going to say during that episode, can I just like stick needles in my eyes or like stab myself in the kidney with a better knife? Absolutely not. You have to willingly and enthusiastically participate and you will be our legal expert on the panel when we roll out this episode. But the point you're missing is that the judge doesn't have the court doesn't have any jurisdiction over a pet. Okay. Here's the deal. All right.

I, I, the court might not have any jurisdiction over the pet, but our hearts have jurisdiction over the pet. And we as people that love animals more than we love human beings, Kylie and me. And a lot of our listeners want to explore this often neglected topic. I mean, I wonder if there's even a podcast episode out there about this. There's going to be there's this is going to be. Oh God, please let me change the game and podcasting. Judge Judy, Judge Judy Diana,

permanent record entry number one, pumps is not a good pet owner. We should do like a Jerry Springer moment where we bring scout out at the end. Oh God, that would be so good. I don't want in that class to be. I'm afraid he'll go home with me. That would be so good. I don't want him that close to me. I'm afraid he'll go home with me. That would be so good. Any more hate comments?

Someone with the name, somewhat obese platypus, wrote, The amount of war paint and hair dye is almost too much to digest. Hahaha. Hahaha. I think he's making fun of our makeup in here. I will say that it does take like Jeff you'll

to get our hair this blonde. So yeah, I mean, I think we resemble that and we'll take that and stride. All right, listener, listen up. We have as a guest today in studio, a former sorority sister, I guess it's not former, I guess it's forever. It's forever. A sorority

sister of pumps is from the Kappa House at the University of Oklahoma, like pumps is like most prized accomplishment of her life is having been a Kappa at the University of Oklahoma. And her sorority sister, who now lives in now lives in LA and owns a very popular makeup brand and she's visiting friends and family in Oklahoma and we have her in studio. Let's get Pumps' sorority sister, Nikeyo Greco, in here. Pumps, let's talk about microdosing. You know that just right feeling when your body and mind are really at peace, like after a nice workout or a nice long shower where you're relaxed, focused, and a little energized, being in the zone, well, microdosing can help you get into that zone easier and stay there for

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microdose.com code had it for 30% off. You know, Pamps, healthcare is so personal in finding the right doctor is such a hunt. It is such a deep search to figure out who the right doctor is, who can take your insurance, who can get you in, who's close by. And maybe it's not just for you, but maybe for a family member. I have absolutely come to love ZockDock for those very reasons. They find the doctor for you that takes your insurance. Zock-Dock is a free app where you can find amazing doctors

and book appointments online. We're talking about booking appointments with thousands of top rated patient-reviewed doctors and specialists. You can filter specifically for ones who take your insurance or located near you and treat almost any condition you're searching for. Go to zock.com slash I've had it and download the zock.app for free.

Then find and book a top rated doctor today. That's zoc. doc.com slash I've had it. zock.com slash I've had it. Zuck.com slash I've had it. Okay, Nikeyo Greco sorority sister of Pumps. I mean, that in and of itself could be an entire podcast. Pumps. I'm sure for that. She kept saying former and I was like, no, it's not former.

It's forever. Yes. She kept saying there's in the bond forever. I think for the laymen, for a lot of our listeners, the probably are not in Greek culture. Yeah. It seems silly, not to diminish your sisterhood. I think he kind of wants colleges over that then it would be a former. But y'all, just, that's her way.

We cement the bond. That's right. Okay. When we're young, I met pumps when I was 18. Yep. She was our pledge trainer, which meant she taught us, our group, our pledge class. How'd she do?

She's really good. She taught us how to be capillaries. Hahaha. Hahaha. You know, all the manners, the behavior at parties, you know, she really laid the groundwork for the, you know, ultimate women we became really. I'm dying laughing. Let me ask you this. So you're telling me that she trained you on how to be a lady and how to behave at parties. Yes. During that era, did you ever see her not behaving at parties

and not acting like a lady? I mean, I think we just looked up to her so much that we took every example to heart, right? So, you know, when pumps was like, you girls need to get it together. It was grades, it was manners, behavior, don't let your dates get too drunk on the bus, you know, that get it together. It was grades, it was manners, behavior, don't let your dates get too drunk on the bus, you know, that type of thing. But when we saw pumps having a good time,

we knew that we would grow in to this fun vibe. You have no idea how happy I am. This makes me because you're so incredulous about it. Well, I just listen,, here's just the thing I have to tell you that just it shocks me to my core. Pumps, from the time that her daughter was a baby, and now she is a cap, Pumps number one goal for her child was for the child to be a member of the Capacapa Gamma sorority. And I just don't relate to that. I just, I think there's a fear of possibly peaking too soon and what if your child wants to be involved in something more nuanced and intellectual or what have you.

I just, I, I don't relate to this on so many levels. And furthermore, Pumps brought to my office at one point her sorority pin. I have mine in my bag. She brought the pin and sat down with me and a girl that worked for me to review Emily, her daughter's resume. And at the time, Emily was in ninth grade in high school. But the high school years are what's important on way. Right. They don't care before eighth grade.

Right. And I just, I thought it was a little silly. You're acting like you can't be both intellectual and worried about what's working. By the way, we, like, won in grades at OU and Kappa. We were always like number one, number two in grades. Yeah, and K-O just got the National Kappa Kappa Gama person of the year award like two years ago at our national convention.

Yeah, I'd never been to the national convention before, but it was quite the honor. And you know, it was such an interesting experience for me overall. I wasn't actually planning on going to OU. I thought I was gonna go away. I grew up in Norman. You know, my parents were really encouraging me to fly, go see other parts of the world. And it wasn't until pretty much the last minute. I decided not to go to Syracuse. Right. And to go to OU. And so I had to sort of rush to get into the rush game. Right. And now when I look back and retrospect, I just wanted to be in one of the houses at

all my high school girlfriends that were older than me. Right. We're in, but in being a black female at the time, I mean, I don't know you has gotten definitely more diverse since then. I was the first black, cap of cap of gamut. Right. But in my head, I thought, I I'm just gonna go hang out with my friends and I wasn't even really thinking about that aspect, but now it makes me really proud.

When I think about that, when I think about how far we've come as a society with race, from the early 90s to now, we've come a long way because I grew up in the white suburbs of Oklahoma City. And racism at the time, I didn't really know that it was certainly racism in the manner that I know it now, but it was kind of cooked into the culture and cooked into the books. And when I, as a progressive liberal, think about sororities and fraternities. I think a little bit, my mind thinks a little bit white supremacy. Right. White supremacist organizations.

So that is incredible in the not early 90s in the stupid 1991, 1991, that you, you know, did you experience racism throughout that process? It was really interesting because I grew up in Norman, which is the university town, where the University of Oklahoma is. And you know, had a very happy childhood. My neighborhood was actually more diverse because it's where a lot of professors that were recruited.

I was born in New York and my parents taught on the East Coast and then my dad started the African Studies Program at Oklahoma. So that's why I moved here when I was almost nine years old. And I think my first sort of experience of, oh, wow, there's this undercurrent of what's not right. Really happened to me when I was a junior, and for the first time I was going to school with, I mean, I think I'd only gone to school with two or three black kids on the west side. Most of him I was reminded to, that all of a sudden now I was in this

much more diverse culture in our high school years. And then when I got to OU, went through Rush, it was, everybody was very kind. A lot of people sort of questioned why I was going through predominantly White Rush. Honestly, for me, and maybe it's just Nivete, maybe it's being a first-generation American. I was sort of raised to be so proud of my race and my culture, but never to separate

myself out from everyone else. And so, yeah, I got a lot of slack from definitely a lot of the black sororities who sort of saw me as this kind of sell out for for going. But then also there you know a lot of small town, Oklahoma, small town, Texas people who just didn't get it had a problem with it. But I think you know since I was really young I you know I am a recovering people please or but I definitely feel like when I was young I just sort of stuck to my own authenticity, even in the exploration of figuring out exactly who that was. And so while I cared and I would get my feelings hurt, I also sort of just chalked it up to

like, they just, you know, I can't teach people how to treat me. I just have to show by example. That's awesome. Okay. Before we get into what you've had it with. Yeah, I want the listener to know, since you left Norman, graduate from the University of Oklahoma, you are now the CEO and founder of an incredibly successful

makeup brand that is available at all JC Pennings for. Yeah, so I'm a retailer now. I mean, I was a skincare founder and then in 2020, in the midst of the global pandemic and racial reckoning, I, all of a sudden, when those lists started coming out of like top black owned shop and to follow, I was at the top of those lists. It just kept happening, kept happening

and then I would discover on a list of like 500 black owned brands to shop that two things were happening. One, I was getting a lot of DMs from people asking if they could use, you know, from my previous brand, my face oil because they were black as if black and brown people only make products. I'm like, well, I'm pretty sure I use Laura Mercier powder and I know she's not black. So like, it's cool. You can put it on your face. And then white people are so stupid.

It's fascinating. Oh my God. And then B, I would see all of these brands on the list with me and I'm like, who is this? What's this incredible brand? And then it went from like black owned to then black and brown owned to indigenous owned and I started discovering all of these incredible brands created by people of color

who make products for everyone. Like no distribution and so I say that's when I sort of took my pain and I turned it into purpose and I was like well guess what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna start a platform like a goop or a violet gray, but 90% of all the brands that I carry are going to be created by these people, by myself, people of color who make products for everyone, but because I wasn't interested in resegorgating the beauty aisle, I dedicated 10% to fostering allyship. I had, with my previous brand, sold on goop, and so Guineph Paltrow had kind of become, you know, a friend, a mentor and so when in starting the platform, she was really sort of mentoring me because of her success with Goop on how to do it.

She became one of my first investors. And then we now, to just over two and a half years later, carry 190 brands. I love it. I think it's great. I mean, I'm just sitting here looking at you going, oh my god. She's so amazing. Oh, I mean really well you taught me to be this way. She did. You can. I wish I could take credit. But now she told you. I just said don't smoke a cigarette and walk at the same time. And you said do not hold a drink while you're dancing on the dance floor. Right. That was a big role. See? To work two little rules that. What is to live by? Which is funny, because I've seen you walk and hold a cigarette

so many times. No, I know. I can't even. Yeah, but it wasn't in a party pic. It wasn't. It was never in a party pic. Never in a party pic. OK, so let's talk about what you've had it with.

Oh, goodness. I mean, you know, this whole concept, and it's beautiful of like women supporting women, is something that, you know, we're all fighting for the small slice of the pie, like I don't get it. One of the things that I've realized over the past, especially last three years, that in success, sometimes women don't like

to see other people win. So I've really had it with women who claim like, I'm a women, these sports women. And then really, don't like to see other people win. So I've really had it with women who claim like, I'm a women, these parts women. And then really don't. I've really had it with like, mean girls in their 40s and 50s. It's like, that's so not cool. It's not cool to ever be a mean girl.

But it's really, and like the judgment, and the debt, it's like we are, I mean, I just turned 50 and I was talking to one of my dear friends yesterday about what feels, people keep asking, like what feels different at 50? And I think it's like the no BS factor in the no room totally toxic people.

Right. And so as someone who always like, like my girlfriends or my like, they are, they are my chosen family, but like I've had a few breakups. And it's been liberating. I have to let you in on a little secret. And I know our audience right now

is probably thinking who's gonna tell her. Who's gonna tell her? And Pumps and I are kind of 50 year old main girls. We get accused of being main girls. I mean, I've read the comments. I've seen what the trolls have to say, but when... Here's what I want to say about this. The whole concept of mean girl culture is a myth.

It is a complete myth, and it perpetuates sexism and further stereotypes women that they are supposed to be nice and polite and so supportive of each other all the time and Harvard did a study on this and If you think about your interactions with the last 100 people, it's not bias towards women being meaner to you than it is men It's split equally and so I think women, we need to move the conversation off of putting the pressure on women for women to support women.

And women not to be mean girls. And women to do this. And women to do that, I have great fucking idea. What? How about the white guys that have been running the country forever? How about they do that? Yeah. Like that.

I understand by that. Let's take the pressure off of women. Because here's my view of the women supporting women thing. I think that it's dangerous and not sustainable or tinnable as people navigate modern culture on social media to not get irritated at people. When men get irritated at people and express a viewpoint about it, nobody thinks anything of it. But when a woman does it, like pumps in me, we're considered mean girls. And actually, sometimes as a woman, you see other guys do stupid shit

that you think is stupid and you call it out, especially if you're a loudmouthed podcasters like Pumps and Nakes, or you see women do a lot of stupid shit and you call it out. I think over stereotyping and over analyzing and placing all of this pressure on women is bullshit. And so I think as women, take the fucking pressure off women. Sometimes you want to be a bitch for the day. Yeah. Fucking be a bitch. Yeah.

Yeah. Make it to be dicks all the time. Right. Right. Nobody calls them out. But when a woman has a strong opinion or maybe an unfavorable opinion to brand them or label them as a mean girl. I think it's kind of anti-women because we get to be frustrated.

Right. I think we get to be frustrated and we do get to be a bitch if we're having a day. Like, we have permission to really be how authentically how we are. I think my point is when, are. I think my point is when, and I love what you said about men and really sort of reframing the concept of mean girl, I think what I'm referring to is when a human being tries to minimize, come after, you know, for instance, I'll use an example that a woman, a person, had said in, you know, the success of 13-loon and the opportunities that we've had that, well, those opportunities happen for her because she's black. It's mean, but dismissive. It's dismissive.

Definitely steeped in some racism. racist. Yeah, I mean, it's it's not steeped in racism. That is racist. Yeah. And so overt racist. Right. And so when I speak about these experiences that I've had with these people sadly. Some of them are all of them are women. That being said, part of, you know, you've really opened my eyes because when I think about why, especially other entrepreneur women that behave this way, why? It's because we're all fighting for this slice of the pie that in an industry that is really truly supported by women to the tune of billions of dollars, but controlled by men. That's right. Okay, we digress, and these are all very important things,

but we want to play a game with you. Oh, I love games. Okay, it's called Had it or Hit it. Oh my God, welcome to Had it or Hit it. I would hit it. Had it. Had it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Had it or hit it, I would have had it. I hit it every day sometimes twice a day.

Had it or hit it, power moms. Let me tell you what a power mom is. Okay. Power mom is a Tomahawk chopper that circulates around the schools in mom group meetings. Oh. PTA meetings. I had it.

You know, it's so funny because I travel a lot for my job. And one of these power moms, we have a set back to school night. And it's really only women that ever say this to me too. Like, my God, I saw your Instagram, how do you do it? Is it so hard on David that you travel so much? I'm like, I'm pretty sure nobody has ever asked me

when David's out of town. Oh, honey, is it hard to do with your husband at a town? Or she'll say, I mean, I don't. It's so good to see you here, had it. I've had it too. And we've been traveling a lot recently. And I have people, how do you do it all? How do you do it all?

Well, I get up in the morning, I brush my teeth, I put my clothes on, I go to work, I travel to fabulous places. Yeah. Sleeping hotels, speak at conferences, have lunch with my friends, and make money for my family, and then I go home. Right.

No, it's modern motherhood. Yeah. Okay, had it or hit it, GRWM videos, which is getting ready with me. You're ready with me. is getting ready with main videos. So I'm in the beauty industry. So, you know, I don't, I mean, hit it yes,

but this is a two-parter. I'm really conflicted about how I feel with the get ready with me, but they're like talking about other things in life, or the get ready with me that are like, almost shame you if you're not doing it in a certain way. I like the creativity of a get ready with me that are like, almost shame you if you're not doing it in a certain way. I like the creativity of a get ready with me where they're like, this is how you do a smoky eye.

You know, educational videos. Gotcha. But like, do I really wanna watch you put your makeup on and hear about like your day at school? Or how waste did you got last time? Yeah, yeah. I think there's get ready with Abuse that's going on. There's a lot of abusers out there

in the Get Ready With Me. I just launched cosmetics in my brand relevant. And so there will be coming soon, some Get Ready With Me, but I'm open to. You're a professional. But you're a professional. You're a professional. What's happening to your industry on the internet

is a shame. Yeah. Had it or hit it, the word no as a complete sentence. Hit it. I love that. The power of saying no. No. And sometimes you don't have to say anything beyond it. Just no. And that's something age gets you. Yeah. Where you can say no without having to explain why. Why? No. Because the explanation is not necessary. Right.

No thank you works too. Yeah, it does. Keep it sweet. If it does, but we have a, as we established earlier, real mean girl reputation that we've got to hold up. So we just stick with no. No, not today. I also like to use unsubscribe.

Oh, that's a good one. Yes. That was a good one. Okay. Had it or hit it, nude lipstick. Hit it, and I'll tell you why, because had it would have been my answer a few years ago. But now there's amazing brands like We Carry a Brand called Citizen Cosmetics,

created by three sisters from Dubai and London who created products where they, everyone can find their nude, ellipsic and gloss, and many other great products too. So now I'm all about a nude lip because I can find my nude. I read this thing probably on the internet for sure on the internet, the only place that I read, that it said that the nude, your nude color of lipstick is the same color as your labia. What?

I thought that was pretty interesting that you have to go match the color of your vagina. You just have to take it in the beauty counter just ready. You just gotta throw your undial. Go commando. And then take the little color chart with a little mirror and then figure out what you're proper. I mean, as someone who has several beauty stores,

if someone ever came into me, I said, my labia color is this, do you have a gloss or lip? I probably call security. Yeah. No, kiddin'. You probably call the police. But I think that was your problem with the new lipstick attempt. Other day, you didn't match with my labia. I didn't match with your labia. I need to pull that out and see what that would be. I mean, listen, to each his own, but their own. But I,

I've never heard that. I had to hear. But I'm for sure gonna tell everybody. Oh, for sure. Okay, last one, had it or hit it, Oklahoma. Well, hit it for the reasons that this is where I grew up, where I have so many people that I love, what I've had it with in Oklahoma is just some old paradigm BS.

But I have hope for the great state. And I do believe that it's important for people who are more progressive thinkers to stay in this community, to be a part of this community, to be active in this community. I think having a great know, a great university, that University of Oklahoma, you know, has really propelled the state forward. But yeah, we just got to have the right leaders in place. And not we don't. We don't. That's the problem. All right. KO, I cannot thank you enough for coming to be with your not former sister.

Correct. But sister in her petu. Yes. That's right. Yeah. For ever. And shout out to all the KKG's Lindsey, Apple, Ashley, the whole clutch class, all of them, the new initiates

that I came to. That's right. She was just, she went to a new studio on Saturday. Yeah. So I'm here. I was welcome in the new sisters. I'm so glad because I've got you. Yeah, it's fine here. I was so welcome in. The new sister's. I'm so glad because I bet you, our listeners are chock full of a bunch of just, you know,

sorority thumpers out there. Yeah. Yes, you're welcome. You're welcome. No, I will say I kid you guys. I do think it's so sweet. I tell perhaps this, her sorority sister friends are some of my favorite friends of hers.

And the connection that you all have and how you stay in contact is precious, darling, and I love it. I get tired of hearing about it. Wow. I think sometimes people make it into a much bigger deal than what it is. Wait, you can just say Angie. So you cap a song. I heard a lot of it. She would die all the time. Yeah, she'll chase around singing capa songs on vacation. I love it. Okay, listen, I've listened her. Go join us on Patreon, the hot shit tour, voicemembers, Instagram,

Pumps, tell them when we'll see them. See you next Tuesday or Thursday or both. I'll tell you what I'm having with. Cheers. I'm having it with that.