I've Had It - Dump Trucking

Episode Date: March 4, 2025

Pumps is showing signs of Dementia while Jen is looking better than ever. Oscar-winning actress Marcia Gay Harden joins us to discuss gender reveals and double-wide RVs.Pre-order our new book, join our Patreon Cult, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast. Thank you to our sponsors: Addyi, The Little Pink Pill: See full prescribing information and medication guide, including boxed warning for severe low blood pressure and fainting, at http://addyi.com/pi Bombas: Enjoy worldwide shipping to over two hundred countries. Head over to https://Bombas.com/hadit and use code hadit for twenty percent off your first purchase. Quince: Give yourself the luxury you deserve with Quince! Go to https://Quince.com/hadit for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Progressive: Tell Progressive what you want to pay for car insurance and they'll help find you options within your budget. Try it today at https://Progressive.com.   Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states. Follow Us:  I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps Special Guest: Marcia Gay Harden @mgh_8

So are we supposed to start the podcast? Welcome to I've had it. What do I say? What do I say? Oh my God. Do you have dementia? Don't you always introduce this? I can't even believe this moment.

Listener, what do you do? What do you do? What have you done? Oh my God. Yes. Okay. Sorry. Sorry. Okay. I need one two three sorry. Oh my god. I was waiting for you. Well I do have dementia I don't think there's any question about that. Oh my god that um

that's what happens in Trump's America. That's right. That's what happens she's sitting there clueless like she has never done this before in her life, waiting for me. And I'm sitting there waiting for her because everybody knows it's the clap heard around the world from Judge Judy Diana, me, mom, me, Kurt and law, all the stuff. And you just completely forgot. I totally spaced it. Like it's never even remotely came into my head.

Like I'm looking at you like, what the fuck's wrong with her? Yeah. All right, let's try this one. Patriots, gay triots, they triots. Kaka, that one I got. All right, welcome to America's favorite DEI podcast. We are DEI hires. Yeah, we only have one heterosexual man that works for us,

but we almost think he could qualify as a lesbian because he threw his cat a birthday party over the weekend. Yes. And if that doesn't scream lesbian, I don't know what is. I mean, that's pretty gay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right, Pumps, what have you had it with?

If you remember the name of our podcast, it's I've Had It, and this is the part, my love, where you tell us what's been bothering you this week. Luckily for me, that's just right of top of mind because what I've had it with is Jennifer Denise Welch and Kylie Anne Josie. I am so mad. Okay, so we did some podcasting this morning before this. After Jennifer and I get a lunch and we sit across the table from each other. After Kylie stares into my eyes for three fucking hours, I go into the bathroom and again, my eyeliner is down around my nostrils and I think, what the fuck is wrong with these people? You know

I can't see myself sitting in here. Why don't you tell me? And Kylie, I told you I started using that new makeup and it made me feel shiny and I felt like stuff was dripping I told you that yesterday did I get hey, Ange Take the eyeliner up under your eye. No, no, no, no, no, no. We sat across from each other at lunch Just the two of us staring into each other's eyes. Did you say anything like hey, hey pumpkin, Duncan Wipe under your eyes. No, not a fucking word. So I have been running around like somebody beat me up until just now. So I've had it with Kylie and Jennifer. Okay.

I thought that you in Trump's America, eyeliner seems to be all the rage that you were like doing the JD Vance look. And so I just thought, okay, if you can't beat them, join them. You go ahead, meemaw. But my apologies. I didn't know that I was to nitpick your makeup. Not nitpick. It was down like way down.

It was way down. I tell you, your hair's sticking up. Do a blotter. I'm always looking out for everyone. What do I get? Fucking nothing. Fucking nothing. That's what I've had it with.

Seth, the male lesbian is the only one that's safe right now. Do you think you should go ahead and tell them what happened at lunch this morning? Oh, of course. I've blocked that out. Okay. So it wasn't bad enough that last week we had to get the doctor and the doctor said twice she was athletic. It just was cringe-worthy. So today, we're sitting across from each other at lunch where she is looking at me with eyeliner down to my nose. This server comes over that wasn't our server so it wasn't like for a tip thing. This was a spontaneous compliment.

She goes, you are just so beautiful. I just saw you and I just want you to know. I mean I don't know how old you are but when I to be your age, I want to look just like you. You're just so pretty. And I honestly, I threw up in my mouth a little bit and I was, I just looked at her and I go, are you kidding me right now? We had to do this. You guys.

And then, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it gets better. So then Jennifer tells her about the doctor saying that she had an athlete's heart rate. Yeah. about the doctor saying that she had an athlete's heart rate. And then she brings the people in the booth next door over and says, oh yeah, she just came over and told me how pretty I was. No, no, here's what happened. The booth across from us, I know these ladies. I know.

And so they were like, hey ladies, and I go, hey, did y'all just hear what that waitress just said to me? Like I said, you brought them in. Do I have any more witnesses to this? And here's the thing. You know, in Trump's America, and you're 50 years old, and you're trying to run this DEI podcast, when somebody comes over and tells you you look good, because we just get ripped in the comments section.

I mean, ripped. I'm just glad that I had three witnesses to it. And I'm going gonna tell you what, everything, you're like, maybe good news comes in threes. So maybe there's another time and you're gonna be witness to it. Yeah, I mean, what can the next one be? Because this woman went over your hair, your skin.

I mean, she did a breakdown of the beauty. It was a real detailed compliment. I loved it. It was a real detailed compliment. I thoroughly enjoyed it. If you would have been a peacock, all your feathers would have been up. Oh, I was a silverback gorilla baby. Yeah.

I mean, totally. Okay, all right, let me tell you guys what I've had it with. So I've had it with my husband and my two kids disappearing forks in my house. Oh, I got that. Okay, so I noticed about two or three years ago when I was putting the dishes away,

that we were short on forks. And I'm talking about six or seven forks. And these aren't metal forks, these aren't plastic. These are the kind that you use, put in the dishwasher and you put back in the drawer. So I confront my family and I'm like, I believe that somebody in this house is throwing away forks or taking forks out of this house and not returning them to this house because we're short like six forks. They all minimize. They

all ridicule. Nobody takes me seriously, right? Well, now bring it to 2025 and we're about 10 forks down. Okay? So that means we probably have about eight to nine left in the silverware drawer. So, and I just refuse to buy anymore. I just, I'm not going to enable this type of fork abduction on my watch. Okay? And Trump's America forks are abducted. Right, it is. And so Roman comes into my room the other night, and listen, Roman is my youngest son, and he comes into my room and he's like,

"'Hey, Mom, where are the forks?' And he has like a plate in his hand and I go, "'I don't know, Roman, you tell me.'" And he goes, "'Are you up with this conspiracy theory about the forks again, mom? I go, it isn't a conspiracy theory because where are the forks, Roman? They didn't grow legs and walk their skinny asses out of this house. You and your brother and your father have done something with them and I want to know. One day, oh, it was probably about six months ago,

I opened up the trash and there was like a takeout box. And I saw this little, our silverware is like a black, matte black metal. And I saw this black thing sticking out the side of it. And guess what it was? A fork. Yeah, these MFers are throwing away our forks and trying to make me the asshole.

And then when there isn't a fork available because they're all dirty in the dishwasher, they wanna ask me where the forks are and I just flipped the script. I don't know, you tell me. You tell me where the forks are, Roman. I love that he said, are you trying to make this a fork conspiracy?

He was like, he looked at me and he goes, oh my God, are you back with this fork conspiracy Siri thing again, mom? And I'm like, yeah, it is a conspiracy. All of you against the forks and me. Right. Here's the thing. Someone might say, well, that's unusual.

That doesn't happen. That exact same thing has happened at my house. I've had to replace a whole set of forks twice in probably 12 years. And you know what else I've had to replace? Steak knives. Really? I guess they just have something and they just throw it away.

No, I'm completely with you, which is why I'm gonna go on record yet again, saying the empty nest is the best part of life. You have all your forks? Are all your forks accounted for? All my forks are accounted for. All my steak knives are accounted for. Everything's accounted for in my house.

Yeah, and you know when you think about these conservative commentators who try to belittle people that don't have children and make them feel bad and they're not worthy women and all this stuff, and I'll tell you what, I bet these childless cat ladies, I bet they're all of their forks are accounted for. There's no question. Ducks in a row lined up ready to just stick their hearts into things. No, absolutely. That is one of many, many good things about the children no longer living in the house. Welcome to I've Had It. It's a podcast, DEI podcast hosted by myself. I'm Jennifer. Do you remember your name this morning? I'm Angie, AKA Mema Minkertons.

She's Mema Drag. She's the star of our show. And I had decided since she turned 55 to loosen up a little bit on the ageist jokes and considering the face plant at the beginning of this podcast. That was bad. I really feel like at this point,

it's full blown elder abuse. I gave you reason though. I mean, that was, yeah, that was something. Did I tell you what my kids did to me at my birthday dinner? Yes. Okay. They told the waiter I was 60. Yeah.

They thought that was hilarious. That's just a real knee slapper. Okay. Kylie. Yes, hello. How are you? I'm mad at you. I know. I didn't even notice.

Not even a little bit, the eyeliner. I kind of did. I just thought, you know what? It's a JD Vance inspired smokey eye. JD Vance, I think he wants to do like a smudgy, like, freshly fucked eyeliner, but he can't, so he just puts it right up there, you know? But I really know but I really think I really really think at the end of the workday JD Vance goes home and it's like a full face of makeup I just think he's dying running around in a dress oh yeah she's got he's got her panties on running around feathering his

hair and I bet he does you know like the little the little wing eyeliner where it comes out at a wing and I bet he puts on some lashes. 100%. Very dark red lipstick. If the FBI wasn't controlled by all of these great conspiracy theorists, maybe we could tweet them and have them go look. But I don't think anybody in this country is on our side anymore. No.

Just the smart people. Just the smart ones. Seems to be here and fear of anymore. No, just the smart people. Just the smart ones. And I just want to give a shout out. We have a lot of listeners in Canada. Yes. And y'all are super nice people. And I just want all of you to know that we hate Trump as much as you do.

And we recognize your sovereignty. And I just want to say this for the permanent record. It's always going to be the Gulf of Mexico. it's always going to be the Gulf of Mexico. Always, always going to be the Gulf of Mexico. It's always going to be Greenland, not red, white, and blue land. And Canada will never be the 51st state. There, said it. Kylie, do we have anything? What's going on the internet?

I actually do have a couple people that are with you, and I'm going to read them. This is a five-star review from Dawn and she says, this podcast is how I'm planning to find more joy during these next four years. The caca opening is super annoying and almost made me shut down and stop listening. But if you can get past that ridiculous sound, this podcast is perfect for someone looking for company in airing petty grievances and finding community and sanity in this insane world. Okay, here's what I want to say. What was that reviewer's name?

Dawn. Dawn. Oh, interesting. Angela Dawn. Here's what I want to say about this. Do not belittle this woman's caca. She forgot at the beginning of this episode that she was supposed to clap. And we just have a few little tricks we roll out that she can do. You cannot take that caca away from her and Trump's America. You've got to learn to embrace it. Listen up liberals and progressives and leftists. You got to lock in on the caca. We're trying to like muster up just a little bit of camaraderie and oneness with nature.

I can't remember the clap, my cock gets slammed. It's just not my day. I didn't have your back on the eyeliner. No, you were just a dick. I'm sorry, Pumps. God damn it, and that waitress was telling me how gorgeous I was and never said a word about you. Oh God, I love you so much, Pumps.

Kylie, what's next? Okay, this one is five stars titled, hashtag MAGA, our new home base. Patriots, I summon you here. You will not regret jumping in this living water well of unadulterated patriotic banter. Subscribe quick before Fox News snatches them up. God bless. Hashtag America. Hashtag MAGA. Wow. I love it. I love bringing them in. Yeah, you got to just lure them in. This is a hotbed of facts. That's right. Yeah, that's right. And shit talking. Okay. I have a few new stories I would like to discuss that are not politically related.

That again, I want to talk about how a lot of times on this podcast, we identify a hypothesis. It's like it goes out into the internet. And then the scientists are like, hmm, I'm going to research that. And then they prove our hypothesis. We didn't have to pay a cent. That's exactly what's happening. I'm confident. OK.

Let me read this one to you all. People who hate small talk have higher IQs than those who don't mind it, study says. A study from the University of Virginia found that people who dislike small talk tend to have higher IQs, stronger abstract reasoning skills, and a preference for deep, meaningful conversations. The study found that individuals with an IQ above 120 were 67% more likely to say they find small talk, quote, mentally exhausting compared to those with an average IQ. What is this like the fourth or fifth article we've read recently that confirms we have to be really smart?

It's just the evidence is mounting and mounting and mounting. It's like just you know what we're the DEI Mensa podcast with a side of dementia from the star of our show. More than a side. Yeah. And now I look in the mirror or the camera and I have like, I'm just falling apart. I know lunch was hard on you today. I should have rebounded from lunch. I haven't been able to rebound. One more story before we introduce our guest. And I always kind of thought this was true.

And so I'm glad to know that the science again has us. This says dogs can count the number of treats you give. Your dog may not be a mathematician, but they definitely notice differences in quantity. A study by Emory University found that dogs can perceive changes in the amount of food they receive. So if you've ever questioned whether your pup noticed their sibling getting an extra treat, chances are they did.

And I have to say, so I have these two French Bulldogs, Tubby and Cha-Cha. Tubby is going to be 10 this year and he's kind of as older people, he was kind of thinning a little bit. And Cha-Cha is is just she could stand to lose a few okay so I always try to feed him a little more than I do her when I'm sharing like my meal if I have like a chicken breast or something and she looks at me and with this look and I'm like she knows she knows that his bite was bigger because she looks at me like, are you serious, bitch? Now I get really bad. I give the dogs after breakfast in the morning, I give them each a treat thing, like a chew

thing. And I give Blaze two because he's 100 pounds. And I give Ollie one. And Ollie always side-eyes me with it, always. And I just thought I was getting by with it this whole time, but now I know I'm not. They know. They do know. Okay, listen up. Today we have a guest. We're going to just shoot the shit with this guest. We're going to drag out dead horses and beat him because in Trump's America, misery loves company. All right? And our company today is an

Oscar-winning actress. Look at us, Oscar winner. Get the fuck out of here. And I've been a fan of her forever. Get the fuck out of here. Okay, Oscar winning actress and co-creator of new children's mindfulness podcast, Snorries, Marcia Gay Hardin. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you,

but Pumps and I have not always been this pull together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up, wouldn't you say, Pumps? I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now.

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Marcia Gay Hardin, welcome to I've Had It, a dump truck of petty grievances and welcome to Asshole Island. This is the place where we are all going to get through Trump's America. Awesome. I'm setting up a tent right now. I'm camping here. Marcia, I know that you probably have a lot of great grievances, so tell us what you've had it with. Oh, God, I've had it with so many things. I'm going to tell you what, this morning, this is what I had it with. That fucking backup beep, beep, beep, beep on the dude's construction stuff that starts by the way, they started at 724. So from 724 on beep, beep, beep and then silence and beep, beep. And then you, and then beep, beep, and then when

it stops at nine, it stops at nine, you're like, oh, they're on their coffee break. I've had it with that. Just wait a little bit, wait until nine, and then do the beep, beep, beep. Marcia, you know what? When I'm really mad at my husband and we're just kind of into it, I'll say you're like one of those goddamn dump truck dump trucks going beep, beep, beep, beep, just dumping on me. And so I use that like I relate that is so irritating. Only a life partner can get you that angry somebody that you have to live and share life with. And I

love my husband. Everybody knows I love my husband. But it wouldn't be normal to not like at some point be very irritated by the way the person breathes, which is the very essence of marriage, I think. So I totally relate to that. I feel like they should make a new verb that's called dump trucking. You know how like for women they used to always go, she's nagging. It's really the same thing. Me, me, me is nagging. And for dudes, it should be your dump trucking. I love that. That's a great one. I think that is absolutely perfect. OK. You emailed us some of your hadits,

and some of these were just so good. We just need to go through them. I want you to share with our listener your grievance about automated robot appointments. Oh. Oh, that one when you're trying to make your MAMO or your Quest Diagnostic, or I just got that grail test, you know, that can test for any kind of cancer.

So you have to, you call and the person goes, it's hello and is it, you have to say your name like 10 times. Yes, it's Marsha. Yes, M-A-R-C-I-A. Yes, this is my birthday. Yes, it is. And by the time you get done with all the yeses,

then they come in and they go, okay, now it's time to actually book the appointment. They go, oh, that appointment that you just booked is no longer available. You're like, because you just fucking made me say it 15 times. That's why it's not available. So then you have to go through the whole process again. Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

And it just bugs the poop out of me. That drives me crazy. It's it's horrific. The anytime you try to call somebody in a customer service style setting, whether it's a doctor's appointment, an airline, and you're talking to a robot. I mean, there's nothing more relatable than seeing a person on a phone going, representative, representative.

That's me. The voice just escalates and escalates and escalates until you're just screaming at nothing, screaming at a robot. Yeah, no, I just had that experience with the hotel. I was like pushing the buttons representative and they kept saying, it was like an automated, well, you have to get on the website for this.

Okay, well, I get on the website. No, you have to call. And it just, I'm like, I want a fucking person. I want a live person. That's all I want. That's all I want. I just wanna speak to somebody who's kind as well. If they were kind, that would be helpful.

Okay, and you know what's so wild about this is there is, this is a common sentiment. And if we take our petty grievances and then attach them to global grievances, right now, Elon Musk, unelected parasite sucks off the federal government, all of our taxpayer money is firing hardworking people. And then he's making them write out emails like what they would what they've done the last few days. And he's gonna have AI determine AI determine if these human beings deserve to keep their job or not. Oh, my God, I have not heard this. And that's absolutely heinous. It hurts that that news hurts because you know it's not the way it's supposed to be. It is literally inhuman.

It really is. It makes me, you know, for a lot of people they get a, they're not looking to be like super wealthy. They're looking for just a stable life and they get a government job and they make good money. They have insurance, they have a pension, and they go clock in, clock out earnestly. And then you have this guy come in who sucked off the government with all of his companies and the government was investigating him, and so he goes and tries to shut down all of these places

and then thousands of people are losing their jobs and he's going to let AI determine it. It's just, it's heartbreaking. It's really heartbreaking. You keep going back to what is the legality? What is the legality? And you know, that's not my world. I don't know. I listen to you guys all the time.

I think, gosh, they're so informed. They know so much. What is the legality of all this? And when you've got a Supreme Court that is the highest reach, you go, well, at least somebody up there, if only we had a Thurgood Marshall back, because at least he would say, well, it's not, you know, it might be legal according to the law, but it's not legal according to, we set the law according to a higher good, a higher understanding of right and wrong. And without someone like him up there, we don't have that higher understanding of right and wrong. And it's really, it's heartbreaking.

It really is. Well, it's patently illegal, but I don't think that they care. And each court continues to enjoin the behavior. Will it continue? We'll soon find out. And so far, the Supreme Court has just kicked it down the road. They haven't made a determination, so they've left the injunctions in place. But we're pinning our hats on. We know the three great justices are for human rights and are ethical, but we have three that we know are not.

I know. And so we're pulling for the handmaid and Chief Justice Roberts. Like that's where our hope lies. It's like, we were having lunch with somebody and she said, you know, we might get one or two like Republicans, like I'm kind of hopeful for Mitch McConnell. And we were like, now we're in trouble

when our hope is on that. So when our hope's on the handmaid and Chief Justice Roberts, like I'm concerned about it. But I also have a little bit of hope, and I keep telling Jennifer, they know they've created a monster. Are they going to try to pull back on the monster? Let's hope.

Let's talk about, though, for all of us that see this for what it is, that aren't indoctrinated into right-wing propaganda, and all of us that are sitting here horrified and heartbroken. How important it is for us to build communities. And I believe you have some, one of your children or a couple of your children are queer, Marcia, is that right? Yeah, they all are. They all claim that title. And right now we go into semantics. What does it mean? And people don't know what it means. So as soon as I had said that it came out, I got so much hate mail that was like, you're grooming, you're grooming your kids, as if.

And they actually went to two of them went to Crossroads, which was the same school as Elon's daughter, who has, you know, is trans. So wouldn't he blames the school, of course. But anyway, so I got so much hate mail and when I told my kids guys I just want you to know it's a lot of hate mail and you know you're mentioned in it and you know they're like work it mom work it. If they're getting angry at you then that's a good thing to do. My eldest child is trans and my son is gay and Julita is fluid, the youngest, my daughter is fluid.

And I just feel like they're advanced, actually, human beings is what I feel like. When you anthropologically look back at how the human engaged in community and sexual activity, they're just,, you know, according to anthropology, it was just a much more egalitarian and kind of free, free, probably for survival, free expression of whom you love. And I think all of my kids would say the same thing. Love is love. And if you love someone, that's love. I think, you know, the eldest, you lay them, I hold this stuff, but they love guys, they love girls, they love. They don't identify

as a guy or a girl. They truly are non-binary, but they don't like that term because they said it sort of suggests what they're not rather than what they are, which is why they use trans. I hate the friggin titles. And I also feel like why the fuck do people have to claim what they are? Right. Right. If you don't have to claim, you know, you know, tell, hi, I'm a gun toting this down. If you don't have to do that, why do you have to walk in and claim who you are? Who the fuck cares?

I think even somebody said, look, if Prince can call themselves Prince at the time, why can't someone call themselves whatever they want? Who cares? Who cares? I think you're onto something about, like, having to claim what you are or not. I'm an atheist. And really, like, the title atheist becomes this big thing because we live in the Bible Belt, and people will be like, oh my God. And really at the end of the day, Marcia and Pums, everybody is an atheist to every single other religion that they reject. I am exactly where they are on Scientology, on Judaism, on Islam, on Hindu, on Buddhism,

on any random cult, Greek mythology, etc., etc., etc. I just take it one step further. I also reject Christianity. And I think it's this really weird thing that I would have to say, like label myself as an atheist because it's not like I just don't have any like supernatural thinking that propels me. Now, if somebody is a Christian light and you get something centering from that, I don't have an issue with that.

I take issue with these triple Trumper evangelicals that are very anti-gay and bully gay people, institutionalized gay bullying. And I see it here and I've grown up around it my whole life and I have always stood up for the rights of your children and for any marginalized group because I see how cruel white evangelical Christians are in mass and also architecture is terrible at the churches. That's just a aside. I always have to point that out for the record. It's named Pew for a reason.

And I think it's a grift. I think whenever your pastor has a PJ and he's flying around a private plane and he takes Venmo, I think we all know what's going on. But I do agree that like, oh, I don't have to claim my heterosexuality to people. Like I had a friend recently and he came out and there was this expectation that he had to go visit every friend group and say, Hey, I'm gay. And I was like, Hey, fuck that. I didn't have to go on a heterosexual coming out to her. Like, so I understand your kids, the burden that we are putting on everybody to label everything, where basically your kids are wonderful, loving humans. End of story.

Or maybe one of them's an asshole. I don't know. You know what? They're so frigging not. They're so awesome people. They're artists and they're so great. I mean, they were assholes in their teens, although we'll say, although they're just really great

people. And you're talking about this hijacking of Christianity. I mean, it's completely been hijacked by a certain type of group. So even if someone does say, I'm a Christian, then the people who are experiencing right wing Christians will be like, oh my God, you know, they've entered the room. And that's not fair either. I mean, it's just's just like again use whatever you need to get you through life and I mean on some level and I know that I'll get hate mail for this too but really wasn't God like the original non-binary like on some level really the original trans was would be the idea of God right incorporating all things female and all things male and so and this sort of broached that a wee tiny bit in Conclave, which is an interesting movie,

if you guys haven't seen it. Loved it. Yeah, you're right. But, I mean, it's like, once you even get rid of gender for God, even though in the Christian world and many, many worlds, it's a masculine identity, but in truth, when you, there are some senators and they were trying to pin him down to go, but is God a man? He's like, he couldn't say because it's not. It's a it's in whatever God is whatever that force of energy and and love and whatever it is it's certainly representative of both. I mean I wish

that that were more streamlined. I think that the question, and this might be another podcast entirely, is I do think the larger issue is that there is a white people Christian problem in this country. I think we kind of have to talk about it because when you look at Trump's base and you look at evangelicals, it's something like over 90% voted for Trump. And everybody's getting their information from a book, all the same book.

And in this book, it tells you how you can treat your slaves. And these same Christians are the one that had slaves. And so I used to always feel like, you know, we can't be so critical about religion and stuff, but now that we're here, we've arrived at fascism, democracy's declining. And then Trump said recently, like, he wanted to sniff out, like, people that had a anti-Christian bias.

And I was like, oh my God, I totally have that. I'm right here, come get me. I definitely have a bias towards it. And I definitely think that I've met, there's some Christian-like friends that I have who don't take the Bible literally, but for, you probably live on the coast in LA or New York, the whole swaths of America, there's this mega church culture, purity culture, very binary culture, and it discourages critical thinking. And I believe that this set the psychological soil for these people to be primed to worship Trump. And so I do think we need to be more critical of it.

And those Christians who don't take the Bible word for word, but it's a guiding principle in their life, will join in every statement that I just had because they personally wouldn't be offended by that. They wouldn't feel the need to get defensive of it. But any far right, any evangelical group, no matter what country you live in, no matter the religion, any of those does not encourage critical thinking because they all encourage sort of a following of this dictatorial idea and interpretation of what God is and that's you know just a red flag because it's not you began talking about this conversation talking

about community and building community and you know that's so important that we have to build community and this is a community that's being that's being exclusive I'm curious as to when I think Trump just said the other day that he wasn't a Christian. Didn't that float around the world, that he in some conversation he had said or mumbled? I don't know what he would say, some conversation. But I just can't wait for those people to wake up

and see what's happening. And maybe they never will. I mean, people who deeply believe in ideas of hatred will probably stick to them, even if their own family is at risk of harm. Marcia, I too keep building in my mind, I keep building and creating this aha moment to get me through this Trumpism and this fascist takeover. And I was thinking this morning in the shower, I thought we're going to get to that aha moment where all of these triple Trumpers are going to be like, Oh my God, we screwed up. I'm so sorry. And then

I thought, they're never going to, they're always going to be in propaganda. This propaganda is always going to exist. They're just, they're just going to keep moving in the goalpost. Maybe we peel off 10% of them that actually have buyer's remorse, but I had to realize like, and maybe this is a really bad character defect in me, and I'll admit that, but I really wanna be like, fucking told you guys.

I just want that moment. And again, that's a very childish impulse that I feel. But I feel that because we worked so hard campaigning for Kamala and podcasted our hearts out trying to get the message out there to fight the good fight. And then you have these triple Trumpers and it's just, it makes you lose your faith in humanity. And I just want to have a really immature told you so moment. I think about all these people who've been over the years kind of put in harm's way. And yet they still sort of like sing in their prison cell or kind of like that thing.

What is that? The power of resistance. And that's what we need to find. Where do we go to truly resist and like make a difference? What groups do we join? What groups do we fund? Because that's where it's going to happen. And they need it.

Like GLSEN is one of the LGBTQ-friendly groups. There's a lot out there, like the family equality. I think we just have to try to fund those groups and stand up for those groups however we can, and also just tell the really simple stories. Like, I'm just a mom who loves my kids no matter what they are. Like, what is the choice?

I guess the choice is what Musk made. You don't see your kids, you don't have family. But I'm like, I don't care who it is, just bring them home for Thanksgiving so we can all have a good time and play Rummikub. Right. So we can play games and I can kick your ass in bananagrams.

Like bring diversity of people to the table. And I don't know, I'm just sort of blabbing away here bring diversity of people to the table. And I don't know, I'm just sort of blabbing away here waiting for you guys to cut in. I'm jumping in. No, Marcia, are you in the closet? I am. I am, despite my middle name, I'm in the closet. Marcia Gay.

Does it sound all right? No, it sounds great. I just noticed the clothes behind you when she said that. I have no powers of observation. Addy. Hey, ladies. Did you know that one of the most common complaints from women about their sexual health is a frustratingly low libido?

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Had it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. All right. Had it or hit it, gender reveal parties. I fucking hate them. Hate. Sorry. Hate it. Yeah. Yeah. No, they're so... And you know, when you think about it right now, like for your kids, for your non-binary kid, it would be like jokes on you.

Right. Nobody would have to have another gender reveal party. Can I just tell you, before my kids, I probably would have been the person going, let's wrap the toilet paper around her belly and see how big she is. And ha ha, like all the traditions. Like I truly see fun in those sometimes. Like I'm the person that you guys go, hmm, I'm cringy. Like I'm a little cring guys go, um, a little

cringy. And so I would have done all that I would have thought, Oh, how sweet until my kids educated me and God, that education is just so valuable. It literally will make me want to cry because I think, ah, perspective, I just was so in my own perspective, that I never would have thought outside my perspective. So to think of someone at a gender reveal party with someone going, it's a boy, it's a girl, whatever. What is like as if A, celebrating one over the other and B, suggesting that's all there is. Right. You know, it's like, okay, now I know. Keep coming at me, kids. Keep coming at me.

Okay. Had it or hit it? Book banning. Oh, had it. Hate it. Okay, first of all, I do this little podcast for kids, right? It's just children's... We tell stories and most of them are Goldilocks or stories that you know. We do try to give the girls agency because I don't know if you've noticed but in all of the fairy tales the king goes, you'll marry my son. She's like, okay, okay I will. That makes me happy. The prince goes, I want you. She's like, okay, I lost your shoe. I want you. Okay. Anything to get away from my stepmom. So we try to give the girls a little bit of agency but recently I noticed that my friend Julianne Moore's book, Freckle

Faced Strawberry, was banned and I like immediately bought that book and read it. I'm like what the hell is... this is literally a freckle-faced girl who is learning to love herself as a freckle face. Why is this book banned? Yeah, I don't get it. Because I just think, you know, history is never good to the book banners. It never ends well. And again, again, here's my pettiness, Marcia and Pumps. I just I want that moment. I want the big reveal to go. I fucking told you guys. I don't think I'm gonna get it. Okay, had it or hit it, camping. Oh, I love camping.

That surprises me that you're a camper. It doesn't mean I can kind of get, I get a slight little outdoorsy, crunchy vibe from you, Marcia. You do? Can you pitch a tent? Of course I can pitch a tent. But I do bring, it's not a blow up, but it's like you open it up and it fills with air and then you close the

little tube and then it keeps your body warmer. That's really, really important. But we used to go camping on the Delaware Water Gap all the time. I know you two are going to do, I want to hear how much you hate camping because it's fantastic. I hate all those bugs I do I hate the mosquitoes I hate all that snakes I hate it but I do like camping there's just something about getting out there like okay here's maybe also I I mean I always like camping but when I realized that my marriage was going south I think I'd always depended on a dude to camp with, right? And so like, now how am I going to camp? And so I hated that. I hated that.

And I was like, ooh, what kind of person are you going to be? So I took my kids up to Yosemite. And there is the campus tents you can go into. But we went to something called housekeeping camp, which was just these sort of cinder blocks. And I liked it because you could light a fire. I do. I love the hearth, the outdoor fire.

So we went camping up there. and we brought all of our bikes and you know, it's a holiday and haul it out. It's a lot of work, but I loved it. And then later I rented a 31 foot double pop out RV and I drove it myself. Marcia Gay. Can you imagine? You're driving down the street.

Marcia, G-A-Y, Marcia Gay. This sounds a little lesbian-like activity over there. I know. I'm literally not very lesbian. So I drove it to what was it called? The Circle. Circle. Circus. Circus. Circus. Circus. In Las Vegas, right? Because we wanted to go, we stopped in Vegas first. So we go there and there's a camping area for the RVs and it's actually nicer than the freaking Circus Circus hotel place. So we go there and my publicist had said, oh you guys, Yoko Ono is going to be at like the opening of the love, the Cirque du Soleil love thing. Do you want to go? We're like, hell yeah, we want to go meet Yoko you're kidding so we grabbed that RV whatever little kitten heels we put things together all cute we came out with our hair done on

me and my kids and we like chipped across the little circus circus thing we went into this love show it's certainly, we were like, what the hell is going on? What's going on with these people? That little secret dress she got on. I love it. Okay, last one. Had it or hit it gentle parenting? Had it.

Yes, Marcia. Had it. Yes, I totally agree with you on this. It's annoying because at some point, like here's the thing I used to always say to my kids, absolutely not. Like that would make my voice deeper because you know, you read those books, forgive me about like pet training. And when your voice is deeper, you're like the alpha one.

But it would be, so I needed something so defined if they would do something like let's say bite or want to hit. Absolutely not. And I would just like call it and then they get attention because they're a little bit afraid. I don't want to make them afraid of me, but I need to put a marker there. This is not something you do. And honey, I see people in the stores and the grocery stores everywhere. I need to absolutely not their kids because it's annoying.

What is the standard? He's not in charge. Well, these kids are going to be miserable, adults. I mean, they're going to make everyone miserable around them because they have no idea how to assimilate and then not everything is about them. And I think you have to start teaching your kids how to be adults. Life is profoundly disappointing. The majority of the time, it's how you manage that disappointment. If you give that disappointment from a one to ten, if you give it a ten all the time,

you're going to be a basket case. But if you give it a point five or one, you're going to be just fine. And you're going to be like, yeah, I get disappointed all the time. My mother taught me this. My father taught me this. Life's disappointing. Yeah. And it goes on to, it goes on too long. Also this thing of like, I know you're having a meltdown and I know you're feeling sad. OK, should we talk about? Oh, I hear you. I hear 20 frigging minutes goes by and you're just like we all we've just given audience to this. It's like a show is what it feels like. It feels performative

at times of what a great parent I can be. So there's, listen, I love, my dad was, you know, not the gentlest person in the world. I love boundaries, for sure. But by the way, it's 20 minutes of performing. How are you feeling about your navel is not mind-counting. No, it's not going to end well. No. Do you also come from a, was your dad like not gentle? Oh, I mean, there was zero, zero gentle parenting. I mean, I got spanked with a belt. I mean, it was, I mean, but that's just like, you know, my dad was in the Vietnam War. He's a baby boomer. He's a loving, great dad. But I mean, it was just, we were disciplined

and I was kind of scared of him. And that fear was a really good motivator that kept me in line a little bit. Yeah. We talk about it all the time with my girlfriends. Like we feared our parents, like we feared their disappointment. We feared punishment. We feared what they would do to us. And my mom was the hard person, not really my dad. But now there's like, it's almost the reverse. Like the parents are afraid of the kid a little bit. It's a weird flip of dynamic. I feel like. Let me share this with you. I think my dad, that was that generation. I think it's too far.

I think the gentle parents are way too far to the other extreme. I think somewhere in the middle is correct and I've never spanked my kids not one time. But my oldest son, he goes to Syracuse now, he's a senior in college. But when he was in high school, I get this phone call from this mother and he had had a sleepover. She calls me and she said, I just want you to know, I just woke the boys up and I was cleaning the upstairs game room and I found a bottle of vodka under the ottoman. And I said, was it empty? And she said, yes. So Dylan comes home and I was like, I don't know if I'm more angry that you drank vodka or if I'm more pissed off that you didn't have the decency to hide that vodka four doors down in the neighbor's trash can to make sure nobody could track it back to you.

Just how you were so brazen about, yeah, I drank it, who cares? That I think pisses me off more than the vodka. The vodka is what high school students do, but the fact that you weren't scared enough to go hide it, you have the decency to try to lie about it, that pisses me off. Just take it under of all things, the Ottoman. The Ottoman. That's right. The Ottoman. That's right.

The Ottoman. Right? Yeah. Well, Marcia, this has been so great. I'm so happy that you joined us and you're welcome back anytime. And I want you to tell our listeners, a lot of our listeners have toddlers and they use our podcast to escape from the insanity of raising toddlers and tell them about your podcast.

Our podcast is called Snorries, S-N-O-R-I-E-Z-Z-Z. And my niece, Natalie, and I, she's an adult, are the Snorri godmothers. And we take the kids through a mindful bedtime, 30 minute routine that starts with positive affirmations that are always, you know, affirmations start like, I am, I am this, I am kind to my friends in school, or I like picking up my clothing, or I don't hide my pot gun.

It starts and so it's very, it's about teaching the kids that because in the one little minute before you fall asleep, your brain is in a super receptive place, or like that little window before sleep, it's receptive to negativity, and it's in a super receptive place or like that little window before sleep. It's receptive to negativity and it's receptive to positive things. So if you tell yourself these nice things before you're going to sleep, it's a really helpful thing. But also for me, I didn't really learn how to speak kindly to myself as a kid. So I think I'm trying to teach kids, we're trying to teach kids how to speak kindly to themselves and that's okay to say, I like myself, I like who I am. Then we sort of settle them down with like making them present in the room. Then we do a story like Goldilocks or Little Red Riding Hood or hopefully Freckle Face Strawberry. Just a really beautiful little story. Most the feedback that we get is parents

are going, thank you for giving me my nights back. Thank you for this beautiful moment of bonding if they choose to do it with their kid. And then I had my night back. And so that's kind of in a really fast nutshell. What I've been doing is a labor of love and passion. And I love storytelling and I love kids. And I just want to help ground them at night and ground them in the day to be the best they can be and have amazing sleep.

The value of sleep is so f-ing underrated. So underrated. I think I could benefit from this. I know, I was just thinking I might download this for myself. I really do because I think you're so right. I get as an adult, I get into that the hamster running in the middle of the night. I agree with you when I center myself and try to think good thoughts as I'm lulling myself to sleep, my next day is so much better.

But if that hamster's running and it's going crazy, oh my God, I'm a disaster the next day. You two are probably like this. Can you believe it? Texting each other, can you believe this is happening? You're probably always so full of the energy of the resistance that you're giving to so many people and the voice for resistance that you're giving to so many people. But it is helpful to just,

you know, unplug for that little bit. And meantime, your brain at night, you know, the guy, what is, I always want to say Mendeleev, but it's not Mendeleev, the Russian dude who figured out the periodic tables, he did it in a nap. He had it completely, almost completely done, takes a nap, wakes up and go, I know what to do because the brain is putting together all of this stuff when you're asleep. It's amazing. I love that.

This has just been amazing. Marcia Gay Harden, we love having you on. I've had it to do a little petty grievance, big grievance, and I love this nighttime routine. I'm definitely gonna try it. I'm gonna do too. I think as an adult, it's fun to take your mind back to the basics of childhood stories. Yep, the adults love it.

They do, they fall asleep to it. I love it. All right, thanks Marcia. Thank you, Marcia, It was great meeting you. Thank you. You too. Take care. Bye-bye. Okay. She's great. Here's the deal.

I've always really, really, really, really liked her. I've always watched her shows. Yeah, yeah. She seems like the most normal person you could ever meet. Like you would never know she's won an Oscar. She does. I mean, she just seems like somebody that could sit down and you could just bullshit with and really, I mean, she's smart.

I think she's normal, but I think she seems cooler than normal. Well, she's cooler than us. Yeah, for sure. I mean, like, she's, you can tell she's very present. You can tell she's very mindful. You can tell she's very intellectual. And the humility to sit there and say that, you know,

she thought about everything being this way when she was younger and then her kids taught her this, it shows the evolution. So I think Marcia's a little cooler than normal. Now down to earth, yes, sitting there talking. No, she's way cooler than us. You know what I liked what she said is that her kids taught her perspective because that's so true. And I remember having a therapy session and I was going on and on about what I wanted my child and on about what I wanted Sam to do. And the therapist was like, it's not you. You don't get to decide your path.

And it taught me so, like it was an aha moment, which sounds stupid, but your kids give you perspective if you're lucky. Yeah, and I do think that that's one of the biggest dangers of parenting where a parent projects what their child needs to do. Now, we can guide, but when they light, when they, here's your script and here's what you have to do. At some point, that child is going to have to go through the self discovery that the parent suppressed because the child had to go on the

parents itinerary and not their own. Right. Well, I was going to say, have you ever known anybody that was more on that? Did your mother script your life up until a few years ago? Totally. Yeah, absolutely. I'll just say this, Kylie, every time I catch myself in this screen, I need a lot of help here today. Here's the deal, Angie. All of the, I can blot your face, we can fix the eyeliner. I just want to leave the listener with what happened at the beginning. Yeah, I know. That's exactly what I was thinking.

Like, I can't even clap us in. We can go get some new injections. You can get your roots blonde. We can wipe off the JD Vance smokey eye. But at the end of the day, you can't remember to clap us in. Yeah, that was a big screw up. All right, listen, this is our Feel Good podcast, our long format on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Every single day, twice a day, if you just want to dabble in the news, it's called IHIP News on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts, short digestible ways

to stay engaged because you cannot surrender to fascism. And we have a sub stack and merch and a bunch of other stuff. Pumps, tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's

called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever, you can get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say?

Cacaw! A little bit more enthusiasm. Cacaw! That's it, that's, that's, Cacaw! That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.