I've Had It - Elder on Elder Abuse

Episode Date: November 12, 2024

We asked listeners for their worst online dating horror stories, and you all delivered. PRE-ORDER OUR NEW BOOK and find live tour dates + more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast Thank you to our sponsors: SKIMS: Shop SKIMS Holiday Shop at https://SKIMS.com. Available in styles for women, men, kids and even pets! If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you! After you place your order, select "podcast" in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. Bombas: So, ready to feel good and do good? Head over to https://Bombas.com/hadit and use code hadit for 20% off your first purchase. HelloFresh: Get 10 FREE meals at https;//HelloFresh.com/ivehaditfree. Applied across 7 boxes, new subscribers only, varies by plan. That’s 10 free HelloFresh meals. Follow Us:  I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay triots, and they triots. So what are we? We're the blue winged hawk. Blue winged hawk. Here's the deal. Here's the deal, listener. You still get to be a patriot. You still get to be a gaitriot. You still get to be a thaitriot. You still get to be a decent person. You still get to experience joy. Nobody can take that from us. But right now, we're all sharing a lot of despair. And what we do is we build communities. And we have been building a community for the last two years of this podcast. And what we do is we build communities. And we have been building a community for the last two years of this podcast. And the community remains, the camaraderie remains, the cynicism remains, the grievances remain, the laughter remain. And we still get to share

that with one another. But Pumps and I would like to really reach out to the marginalized members of this community and say, we know that this is especially painful for you and that it especially feels personal. And we are here. We are still your podcasting mothers. And we will always fight the good fight for you because we value you over the cost of eggs. We value your right to exist over all of these other crazy things. And so just know that you matter and that we love you.

And moving forward in our podcast so that we can all stay sane. We'll address the pain that we're all going through. We'll address the need for all of us to mobilize, form a community and launch the resistance. But we also still get to laugh. We also need to remember that we still get to experience joy. So in that regard, Memaw's been having a hard time, you guys. She's over here, boodle baby, crying like it's... She keeps calling me a titty baby and she's not wrong. I mean, it's titty baby city over here for Memaw. It's actually very sweet. But Memaw, what have you had it with? Okay. What I've had it with is people that do not behave appropriately

in drop-off and pickup lines. Now, I had forgotten, because it's been so long, that my kids were in a drop-off and pickup line. How fucking mad it makes me when people like stop the car, they get out and talk to other people, blocking everybody else's thoroughfare, what do you call it, way through. Like they block traffic because they're so unable to be self-aware that they are blocking

everybody else's time. It makes me fucking crazy. It just happened to me at drop off at the doggy daycare. I go to pull in and it's like a two person deal. This motherfucker, he parked his car right in the middle so nobody in front of him could park. Nobody could get to the side. Nobody could get in behind because he was like dead smack in the middle of the drop off area. He had the back of his car open, which I assume his dog jumped out, which is fine, but he

left it there. So I had to park kind of down the street and take my little dog in. And I just thought, you're a fucking dick. You're just a dick. Like the lack of self awareness in theoff and pick-up line is unbelievable. People just do not have any concept that there is anybody else on the planet but them. I think that parking lot awareness is something that needs to be highlighted. I do not trust the incoming administration to tackle this. So we here at I've Had It podcast are going to try to tackle these things that I'm sure

the new fascist authoritarian government will ignore. And parking lot awareness is something that we can do together. That's right. Listener, we can make change. We can implement change in parking lots. It's something tangible that we can do. Thank you for bringing that to the listener's attention. Let me tell you what I've had it with.

You and I recently returned on a flight to Oklahoma City, and we landed, and we were on the tarmac, and the pilot comes on and he says, "'Oh, listen up folks, "'looks like there's another plane at our gate. We'll push off in about five to 10 minutes. So we're just going to sit here and hang tight. We'll let you know when we're able to push forward.

I look out the window, much to my surprise, there are about six gates with no airplane attached to them, no airplane parked there. And I'm thinking to myself, why can't you improvise? Why can't this airport say, there's somebody at gate seven, but gate eight, nine, ten, eleven, and twelve are available? So why don't y'all just push to one of those so we can get these people off of that bird? It makes me insane.

You have to improvise. Improvise for God's sakes. Nobody likes flying, but the people that run all the flying could take measures and do things to make it a tinge less painful. A solution that I could see from my little window, my little oval shaped window, I could see I have a solution to this problem. Right. And I know that I wasn't the only person thinking that.

You know how I know you weren't? Because you and I were just like, what the fuck? There are 27 million gates. Why are we not moving? Da da da da da da. I don't know if in the moment you saw this, but the guy in front of us that was sitting in front of you, he turned around to me and he goes, I don't think it's going to be much longer.

Because he heard us bitching about it? Yes. So I think he thought we were about to fucking storm the front of the plane. Because I looked at him and I thought maybe we're being loud. But my whole thing with that is, and for people that live in large metropolitan areas, you have to understand the Oklahoma City Airport has maybe 20 gates, 25 at the most. So it's not like there were 27 different planes sitting on the tarmac trying to get in. We were it.

That was it. We were the list. And we sat there for about 20 minutes. That's the thing. When you go to other airports, how many times are we on our way to a large city airport? And it says gate change, and then you get through security. And then there's another gate change. And then you get to the gate that you thought was changed, and they've changed it again. smaller airports of second tier cities, they are not improvising. But listener, I'm going to tell you what, we're going to have the mayor of Oklahoma City on this show soon. And Kylie, write down this. I want to list, there's a list of things I'd like to talk to him about to impact change on a local level.

Right. And number one is Will Rogers International Airport's ability to improvise to make flying less painful. And I'm just going to tell you, listener, where we can impact change, we're going to try to do it. Microwevel. Microwevel. Parking lot, this lesson today, parking lot awareness.

And then step two is we're going to have the mayor of Oklahoma City on the podcast to address this issue. I want to confront him about it. I need to talk to him about this. I also, there's some other things, I'll save it for the episode, but I actually have a list of things regarding the airport. And listen, anybody that works at Will Rogers World Airport, my grievances are not with you. I know that all of you all are doing your job. My grievances are with the boss, whom I believe might be the mayor. I'm unsure. Maybe not. But we're going to get to the bottom of it. Okay. I'm just going to say I do have one tiny grievance with the Oklahoma City Airport

with a direct person. And it's that old man that sits at baggage claim and he talks your ear off and he's a volunteer, and he's like, any questions for me about where I'm going to Oklahoma City? He's no less than 90, and he talks like, he just talks and talks and talks and talks, and he doesn't breathe because he's talking so much. And so that I have a grievance with, which I know, part of me is like, he's a little old man, he doesn't have anything to do, he goes to the airport and he's a volunteer. Good for him. That's what a good, nice person would say. But in my mind, I'm thinking shut the fuck up. But listener, this is what you call elder on elder.

Yes. This is this is elder cannibalism is what this is. I should have more empathy. It's going to be me. Like 10, 20 years from now, you're going to come down the escalator and buy the baggage claim. I'm going to be in my volunteer jacket and I'm just going to be talking people's ears off. It should be yak mouthing. But you know what I'm going to do when you do that? Right.

I'm going to have a referee jacket on and a whistle. And I'm just going to start regulating people. I'm going to be like, you know what? I want to be unhinged in my final days. I want to blow the whistle. I want to scream at people. I want to revert back to what it's like being a toddler, just completely unhinged, completely unhinged.

I like the sound of that. All right. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She is still America's greatest legal mind and we're gonna need you now more than ever. Kylie, what's going on with our reviews? We're at like 11,600 something. Wow! That's exciting. Well, well, well. So we're moving on. Well, well, well. Okay. I like it. I'm

gonna read you a few of them. This one is five stars titled, Thanks Babes from William. And he writes, I recently went no contact with my Trump loving mother. Thank you for making me feel like the same one. Wow. It's hard. It's hard. It's really, really hard. You know, I, I really empathize with a lot of members of the LGBTQ plus community who have parents

that didn't vote for their rights. And we recently were copied on a text from a friend of ours. And his dad wants support him and his marriage and their child. And it's just, it's so stupid. It haunts me. For this crazy man. It's just, ugh, it's just awful. But I wanna say this, like, this is different. This election is different. If this were John McCain, Nikki Haley, Mitt Romney,

I can disagree with them policy wise. I have a really hard time with people that triple down on this guy and where they fall morally. I do. And I know that our listener does too. And it's just a, it's a walking red flag. It is a walking red flag into somebody's true character in my opinion. It's on fire.

I mean, it surpasses red flag because we've had Flag. I mean look at all the... I'm not going to go into it. But it's very concerning. Okay, this one is five stars from Ryan and he titles it, It's Kathy's Show. Truly so fun listening to young millennial Kathy help Jessica and her great-great-grandmother Angina navigate the digital sphere as they discuss the issues that matter, like large fallacies in politics. 10 out of 10 pure menopausal chaos. I live for it. I love that. I have to tell you guys, on election night, we stopped by one of the candidates' tears

party and someone, I was up at the bar ordering, we stopped by one of the candidates here's party and someone I was up at the bar ordering and someone said, Hey, Kathy, we started talking. And then at the end she goes, What is your real name? And she didn't know my real name was Kylie. I love that. Because I am the great, great, great, great, great grandmother. Angina. Angina, which I kind of like. I like it. We'll just add that to the list. Yesterday I had my meet curtain, meemaw t-shirt that our,

uh, one of our Patreon members made for me and gave it to me at the Seattle show. So I know how Gen Z is taking this cause my kids are Gen Z. Uh, but Kylie, why don't you give us a report from millennials? How are the millennials, y'all came up in the Obama era. And how are y'all taking this? Not good. It was rough. I think, Ana, my girlfriend cried all day yesterday. I did, I do want to thank our listeners and some of our Patreon members I've just been poured with nice messages and so have you two on I've had it Instagram people are worried about you guys It's been tough and you reach out to your other friends that you know

Feel the same way as you do and you kind of just all have to stick together. I feel like Yeah, but yesterday I went a little unhinged. I was DMing people posting racist shit and it felt really good because I don't do that. Right. Yeah. You know, it's going to be, starting January 20th and then moving forward, it's going to be just a daily, sustained, horrific, fuckery day after day after day after day. And we have to band together. We can talk about a lot of things in a 40 minute episode, you guys. We can talk about how terrified we are. We can talk about how disappointed we are. And then we can shift gears and this

is what friendships do. That's right. And then we can laugh together and still try to experience some joy. So every Tuesday and Thursday, we will still continue, I've had it. And it's going to be a combination of, oh, fuck, and I've had it. And let's giggle and love each other. And then Monday through Friday, we drop daily, IHIP news for those of you that want political content. And I know that a lot of you probably think right now, I don't want political content. That's not the answer. We have to stay educated. We have to stay motivated and we have to fight for what remains.

And hopefully we still have the First Amendment. Right. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up, wouldn't you say, Pumps? I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.

In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. It's no secret to our listener that we are so Skims obsessed. Correct. And to share our obsession, I have decided this is what I'm going to gift my friends

because Skims has a holiday gift shop. I bought for myself this fabulous robe that I plan on spending all of Christmas break in and I think I'm going to gift that to my best friends. I absolutely love Skims. Every product, I love the bras, I love the pajamas. They are so soft and cozy. And the best part about Skims products is they come in cute little boxes ready to go. I know they have the little panties and bralettes and they have like Christmas color schemes, great stocking stuffers. And like Pumps said, the boxes are totally adorable. Listener, shop Skims Holiday Shop at skims.com available in styles for women,

men, kids, and even pets. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Listener, you know Pumps and I like to joke around, and that's our big shtick. But one thing that we take very seriously is our socks. I mean, we are so serious about our feet and our little piggies being cozy and comfy in the fall and winter. We only wear bombas, the most comfortable socks in the entire history of feet. I'll tell you what, not only are their socks fabulous, but their slippers are the best! And I love Bombas No-Show socks. They're amazing.

Bombas is the perfect holiday gift for your work bestie, cousin, or that super picky friend, because no one says no to the snug, delicious feeling of new socks. And, listener, that's how good these socks are. We could go on and on and on about them. We've never had it with Bomba Socks. And here's another great thing about Bombas. No matter what you get, your purchase creates a very real clothing donation for someone experiencing housing insecurity. So, listener, are you ready to feel good and do good? Head over to bombas.com slash had it and use code had it for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash had it or use code

had it at checkout. Okay, so now I would like to segue over to some news articles that Kathy has pulled for me to share. The first one is a new research survey of 1,000 people suggests that Gen Z trust influencers more than their friends. I kinda can see that. I can too. I mean I kind of can see that. I can too. I mean, I kind of can see that.

I mean, I- You know why? Because for Gen Z, their best friend has been their cell phone their whole life. Yeah, and there's such a curated nature on the social media and it's like, your life's better than mine so I want to emulate you kind of thing. And that they just have never not had it. Yeah, I think that this is the shortcoming of for Gen Z.

And it's not Gen Z's fault that cell phones came out at the time that they were growing up. But it's that's their first stop. Right. When we were growing up, our first stop was to pick up the phone and call a friend and have a voice-to-voice conversation. So God, and I believe it because I think influencing in the right-wing manosphere had a huge impact on the results of the election. All right, next up in the news. I don't know how I feel about this.

Well, I know exactly how I feel about this. It's not good. Let me read this to you. Nude pickleball is taking off. What? Nudist resorts across the U.S. are experiencing a huge surge in popularity for nude pickleball. These clothing optional destinations are expanding their pickleball. These clothing optional destinations are expanding their pickleball facilities and hosting tournaments to meet the demand with enthusiasts finding it a comfortable and freeing way to enjoy the sport. Okay, so the minute you said nude pickleball,

I was thinking of the dragons flopping around in the wind trying to catch the ball. And I just don't even know how that would work. You probably wouldn't even need a paddle. Listener, listen. Oh, I bet you're right. I wouldn't need a paddle. Listener, listen to the growth here.

She heard nude pickleball and she didn't think of penises. Well, I thought about that next. Right, I know, but that wasn't your first, that wasn't your default setting. Did you get laid? No. What happened? No, I just thought, I cannot imagine my boobs in that situation. Here's the thing about nude pickleball. I'm going to put this, and you all know I love racket sports, but I'm putting this right there in the Stanley Cup category. I think

this is a slippery slope. I think nudist, here's the thing, if you wanna be naked and you wanna go to naked resorts and you wanna swing, swing for the fences. I don't really give a shit. But playing sports naked, I don't understand the psychology behind that. Maybe I shouldn't be judgmental about it. Maybe I shouldn't be a lot of things.

I just don't understand the psychology behind naked sports playing. I would think you would want everything kind of secured. Well, for the example of the Dragons, and I'm not a modest person and I don't care, like people want to go to new resorts and all that, that's fine. Where I would be distracted, not that I'm a great pickleball player because we know I'm terrible, but if it's like a court of, let's say the three of us and Seth went to play pickleball and right next to us were a court of naked pickleballers,

I'm just gonna say that would distract me. Well, I would imagine if it was four well-hung men, I don't know what would happen. Now, if it was four well-hung men, I don't know what would happen. Now, if it was four well-hung men, distraction over. It's a tap, tap, tap. Circle the jets, head to the car. We know I wouldn't do that. Memaw!

I'm a big talker. Memaw! But I would be distracted, I'm just saying. Okay, wait, let's just, okay. You're at the pickleball courts and there are four well-hung men playing pickleball. You think you might just go over tap, tap and just take them out to the car and just do the dirty? Like, in my mind I would, but I know that I probably wouldn't in real life.

You know what? In upcoming Trumps America, I say we say, fuck it. Just do it. Go grab a naked pickle baller and just make out in the back of the car. Ride that pony. I do like a little car sex. I mean, I did back in the day. It's been a heavy purse. Right up here. Me, ma. But you know, back in the day, day.

Naked pickle ball car sex. Yeah. I mean, I'm here for it. You'd have to push me though. I wouldn't on my own. That's just big talk in my mind. Did I ever tell you about the time in college that I was having sex in the car and tap, tap, tap on the window with the campus police?

Let me ask you this. What positions were you in? God, it's been so long. I can't remember. I know we were in the passenger seat. You were straddling on top. I think I was. You were straddled on top. Exactly what I thought. It was the flyest over. I mean, it was so fast, pull up, all that. And I will say to his credit, he was just like, you guys need to move along. Nobody got arrested for public indecency or anything. But yeah.

Do you remember the man's name that you were having sex with? Yes, I do, but I'm not going to say it on the podcast. Well, that's no fun. All right. What we have prepared today as a means of feeling some joy and laughing is we have gone to our Patreon members and asked them to share, is it, Cathy their first date experiences? Dating, online dating horror stories. Online dating horror stories. Okay.

So the first Patreon member we're going to hear from is Rome. And Rome says, I was supposed to get drinks with an older white gentleman. I came to the bar and he was already drunk, having drank three sangrias before meeting me. He then started fetishizing my ethnicity, could not carry a coherent sentence, had the audacity to have the bartender remake his espresso martini because it had no kick and before the bartender could finish remaking it, he walked out the bar leaving me alone. That is awful.

Rome. I'm so sorry. I am so sorry. So sorry. I think the words here that identify the red flag are older white gentlemen. There's your clue. But I have to say, on our YouTube, we have a lot of men in the comments section that are like, Hey, I'm a I'm a boomer white male and I love you. So I always want to make a carve out for them because they're boomers are the ones that fought

these fights originally, all these human rights. History is repeating itself for the boomers. Okay, Brooke says, my one and only online dating experience happened freshman year of college. My date was supposed to meet me at a sushi restaurant because fuck, letting a stranger pick you up. He was 30 plus minutes late. When I called to see where the fuck his string bean ass was, he said that his truck ran out of gas and asked if I could spot him the money to fill up his

tank. I blocked his number, bought myself sushi and met my now husband the very next week in algebra class. I love that. It's a feel good happy ending. You know what? That is a really good, I mean, it's not even that long of a post Brooke,ok A plus. A plus. Presentation. You show us the fuckery. Yeah. She landed the plane. She launched a solution. I feel uplifted. She met her husband. I love that she just immediately blocked him. Just like he's 30 minutes late, which the minute he ran out of gas, he should have texted it. The second is he wanted you to spot him. How was he going to pay for dinner? I mean, not saying he had to buy hers, but how was he going to buy his? Agreed. Okay, next up is Becca Louise, and she always has the gay pride emoji flag next to her. And you know, Becca, that we love you.

Okay, so it says, Oh, I'm so glad you asked. In 2014 ish, I got catfished by a girl in a cult. Her name was Christina. She claimed to be 26 and we met on Tumblr. We video chatted for like over a year, so I thought she was legit until one day, while chatting about a TV show, I asked if she was an 80s or a 90s baby. She full ass hung up on me and I was like, okay, sus. Since I moonlight as an FBI agent, I asked for her ID.

She sent me one with a fake birthday, handwritten, and taped over her real date. Her excuse was that all Tennessee IDs are handwritten. The excuse was that all Tennessee IDs are handwritten. Luckily I have an IQ above 70, so I knew that wasn't ever even possibly a little bit true. I scrambled all my jets and after a deep dive I discovered she was actually 36. Christina was not her name. She was married with twins and part of a traveling cult. She pulled it off by claiming she was a manager at a hotel chain, but she was actually traveling

all over the country, which is why she was in hotels all the time. If you're curious, the cult she's in is called the Irish Travelers in Memphis, Tennessee. They are grifters. Apparently, they dine and dash a lot. They dress their kids like they're in beauty pageants 100% of the time. And the women are arranged in marriages starting at about 13 to 14. So yes, very sad that she is a lesbian stuck in a Catholic cult, but also manipulating a 20-year-old girl for over a year a little on the fucked up side as well. That's as concise as I could get. Top of the morning to ye and yours, love Becca Louise XO." Top of the morning! That is wild.

I'm sitting here thinking, so she's married with twins twins pretending she's a hotel manager, but the coup de grace is the handwritten licenses. I mean, like what? That is a nightmare. I mean, Becca Louise, I'm glad you solved that mystery. I'm glad you moonlight as an FBI agent because I too have moonlighted as an FBI agent as I know Jen has. Yes. I'm not sure about Kyle's. Of course you have to. Yes. Okay, next up is Jaylison Leap. After chatting for three days straight with John, he asked me out for dinner at the Chinese bar in Camden Town. We had a lovely conversation and the

food was great. He was attentive and talkative. Great, right? Wrong. Right before asking for the bill, John started to hyperventilate. His face became all red and he looked so in distress that I had to ask the waiter for help and an ambulance was called. After the paramedics arrived, he gradually started to look better, but I was so worried that I decided to take him home. Right before saying goodbye, he looks me straight in the eye and says, did you like my little act at the restaurant? Oh my gosh.

I was, and still am, so shocked that unfortunately, I never felt comfortable enough to go to the cheese bar. Fuck you, John. I love that fondue. Did I say Chinese at the top of this? Yeah, it felt like a fondue restaurant. Yes, so listener, I'm sorry I screwed that fondue. Did I say Chinese at the top of this? So it was a cheese, like a fondue restaurant. Yes. So listener, I'm sorry I screwed that up. It's a cheese restaurant. Oh my god. That's trauma right there.

That's like a serial killer type behavior. And Jaylison just wanted that fondue and now I can't have it. And can't go back. What if you could door dash it or the trauma is too great? What kind of sociopath did you like that little act I pulled? No, that's sociopath behavior. Yeah. I hope that got to be real sick puppy, real sick puppy. I'm sure I'll be dating him soon.

Pumps, our ability to suck and then wake up the next day and suck more than the previous day is undefeated. It's unparalleled. We are the champions. If you would like to see how bad we suck, please join us in New York City in November for just some world-class shit-talking. That's right. Live. Live and in person. That's right.

Pops, holiday season is just around the corner. And you know me, I'm always looking for ways to make a hassle-free, delicious, home-delivered, chef-crafted recipe that come together quick and are less expensive than takeout. I love HelloFresh because number one, it comes straight to my door. I don't have to go to the grocery store. Number two, I don't overeat. And number three, the ingredients are fabulous and recipes that I would never make on my own. Plus, you should check out HelloFresh Market

for over 100 add-on items like desserts, quick breakfast, snacks, and so much more. This month, they even have Thanksgiving items to help wow a crowd with minimal effort on your part, not that anyone has to know. Listener, get 10 free meals at HelloFresh.com slash I've had it free. Applied across seven boxes, new subscribers only, varies by plan. That's 10 free HelloFresh meals. Just go to HelloFresh.com slash I've had it free. Okay, next up we have Georgia and she says, I have such a good one. Met this guy on Bumble. He seemed

relatively straight-laced by his profile, met for drinks, and I could tell there wasn't a spark, but he was nice enough, so stayed on and had a lovely chat and two wines. At the end, he asked if I wanted to go to his place on Thursday, two days later, for dinner. I said I'd have to check my schedule and get back to him. I knew it was a no from me, lol. Anyhow, I got home and he texted saying how much he enjoyed meeting etc And I gave him the sorry news that I didn't feel a spark But good luck with his search a few texts transpired with me trying to shut it down kindly He then confessed he was a dominant looking for a sub and proceeded to send me a photo of his whips and chains plus a

rogue kitchen utensil wooden spoon. I don't want to yuck someone's yum, but this is totally out of line and not something I had showed any interest in, nor was it clear on his profile in any way. Thankfully, I found it fucking hilarious and told all my friends this story and we laughed and oh we laughed. It was just so rogue. I said to my gay bestie, what the fuck would have happened if I had gone to the dinner on Thursday and he said, dolls, you'd be tied up in the basement being spanked. It was so wild but

so wrong in so many ways lol. Not saying I wouldn't be open to trying some funky things, but consent always applies. Please and thanks. Georgia, I mean, here's the thing, like, the online dating world, you have people that are genuinely looking for a date, right, a traditional style of a date where you take some time and see if there's a spark. And then you have people that are looking for a hookup, right. And then you have people that are looking for a hookup. And then you have fetish people that are looking to play out their fetishes. And here's what I think that we can make,

we can impact change listener. If you're on Bumble, which I assume is just, that's just straight up dating, right? They need to have have fetish websites. That's what I was going to say. I think they have fetish websites that you can go on and he could find his sub. I don't know why. I don't think you should cross-contaminate. The people that are looking for a traditional date, if you want to put a ball gag in your mouth and have somebody peg you. Swing for the fences. That's fantastic.

Right. But don't contaminate it with Georgia, who was just looking to meet a normal person. Okay, here's my question. After she said, I just want to be friends, I like you, blah, blah, blah, why did we have to go in to all of his fetishes? Like that seems just highly unnecessary to me. Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. If you were dating a guy and you liked him, and he said, and you always say you want to date somebody that lives out of town, and you liked him,

I mean, everything is 10 out of 10. And he said, hey, will you send me a picture of the dragons? Would you send tit pics? No. And he said, Hey, will you send me a picture of the dragons? Would you send tit pics? No. And that is only because because of the age of my kids, I have just beat the drum. Like do not take those pics. You don't know where they're going to end up, blah, blah, blah.

And so first of all, the dragons aren't that pretty. That'd be number one. But number two, you just don't know what's going to happen with that picture. And you're so famous. Very famous. No, but even if I was, I just think it really can create problems. So no, I would not send any pics. Would you send me a picture of the dragons?

Yeah, well, I trust you. I don't know why you'd ask, but. Have you ever sent a nude? Never. Jen? Probably to Josh. Right., but. Have you ever sent a nude? Never. Jen? Probably to Josh. Right. Yeah, I think I probably sent a nude.

Well, I mean, you're married. Yeah. I mean, this is not just some guy I started, you know what I mean? I think when iPhones and stuff came out, I think I'd send a little. Of course. Yeah.

Yeah. I'll tell you what, it did happen one time. That reminds me of a story. All right, let's hear it. OK, so on the dragons, I have like a pointy nipple, like a big cheap eraser. Nobody knows what that is. That's not our age, but just a bigger, thicker nipple. I've seen it. Okay, so one day, this girlfriend of mine said, you've got, I have the best band-aids for that. And I was like, great. So she gave me some band-aids. I went and bought the band-aids.

They were fantastic. They were exactly perfect. So I take that back on the nudie. So I put them on the nipples. I was so pleased. And I took a picture in the mirror of me standing there with the band-aids on the nipples. And I sent it to her.

And I was like, oh my gosh, this is the best thing that happened to me. Thank you so much for the recommendation. This is a friend for 30 years. So about two days later, for whatever reason, all my iCloud stuff, and this was when Sam was probably nine or 10. So he's going through this, and I'm sitting next to him,

and I look, and he looks, that picture comes up. Then he looks at me and I was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. And I explained the whole thing. But yeah, so I lied. I have sent a nudie pic and my son saw it at nine years old. Just to remind the listener, isn't this the same son that you had to take the shit in the cup on the side of the highway?

You just couldn't go past that, could you? I just, I just... So when we're unpacking his childhood trauma later, you'll be able to... Just know that I'll have the to-do list. No, we love you, Sam. He's the best kid on the planet. He really is. And he loves his mama. He does. Okay, last one listener Hudson. Hudson says, when I was 19, I talked to a guy via text for about a month. He definitely love bombed me and made me feel desired, which caused me to overlook a lot of red flags. He would make questionable

comments about my Cuban heritage. I blocked him after he told me that he has a kink for taking people's virginity and that he was into me because I look like his brother. What? I later found out he was a total catfish and none of his pictures were him and that he was actually a 50 year old man. I learned a lot from that experience.

I have to say you guys, that kind of shit like for Gen Z millennials or even people our age because I mean all people of all ages do yeah date the cat fishing component is wild. And I think it's so sad because I think some people are so lonely and we so want human connection and then we're making them via text or via instant messaging on a computer and a little bit of flattery and love bombing. It feels so good. You can get intoxicated by it, especially at a young age. You can fall prey to superficial flattery. You're more susceptible to it. And they just get sucked in. And then the heartache. And then if you realized it wasn't the real person,

then you would be mad at yourself. And I just, Hudson, I'm so sorry. Yeah. I think catfishing is so mean. It is. And people, you know, everybody gets to be perfect in their online persona, you know? And so it's like, I kind of feel like it would make you have higher expectations than what humans are really capable of a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, that's terrible.

And you know, the thing is, you hear about it all the time. There's even a TV show about it. Listener, they even made a TV show about it. Yeah, I've watched it. You did? During the pandemic, my kids, I've watched it. You did? During the pandemic, my kids and I would watch it. I mean, honestly, you kind of got catfished. Right, but that was not even, that was just complete, not even online.

Listen, I'm referring to the time that Pumps had the unwilling affair with a married man, the only time I've known for her to date since she got divorced. Yeah. Yeah. Does he text you? Mm hmm. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Well, all right. Listen up, listener. This is kind of how it's going to go moving forward. We have to come together. We have to laugh together, cry together, you know, share stories together.

And we all still get to live our lives and still get to form a community. And just because we're laughing at something doesn't mean we're neglecting something else. So don't fall into this trap that I can't laugh right now. You know, blah, blah, blah. We are human beings and we get to have compound feelings and compound emotions. We can be devastated about the election results, worry for our well-being, worried for our friends' well-being, and then also make space to come together and remember certain things about the human experience, which are camaraderie, laughter, and togetherness. And

that's what we want to offer you all moving forward. Again, if you just need to dive into the politics portions of this, you can listen to our daily podcast, IHIP News. It's all on the same YouTube channel. But if you're a listener and not a video watcher, it's IHIP News. And that's usually every day. If we feel ambitious, we do it on the weekends. And then we have a show coming up in New York City. Yes. So please get your tickets for that. It's called the People Suck Tour.

And I just can't think of a better title for anything right now after these election results than highlighting how badly people suck. Yeah, I think that that is like spot on. We have a cult, Patreon. And I think that's all we have. We also have the blue winged bird. Hawk. Blue winged. The blue winged hawk. And I'm glad you brought that up, Pumps. Because listen up, we are re-birding. Re-birding? We got to re-bird. We're re-birding. Okay, I still like eagles got to re-bird. We're re-birding, okay?

I still like eagles. I do too. I do, but I feel like we need our own bird. Yeah. I feel like we, and it's the blue winged hawk. It's kind of a mascot. It is our mascot. I want to get one.

Yeah. You have a lot of experience with birds, so we could probably find one. Yeah. If there is one. Anyway, all right, listen, tell them what the blue winged hawk says. Right now it says, cacaw! But at some point, we're gonna we're gonna find our cacaw back. We're gonna get it back. Episode after episode we're gonna get it to where it is robust. A little bit every day. A little bit better every day. Yeah. All right, listener to pumps, tell them.

We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up, patriots, gaitriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever, if you get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, Pumps.

Pumps, what does an eagle say? Cacaw! A little bit more enthusiasm. Cacaw! That's it. That's, that's... Cacaw! That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.