I've Had It - Eye Roll City

Episode Date: June 22, 2023

Jennifer and Pumps are back with another listener submission episode and you all did not disappoint. The two butt heads over long fake eyelashes but find themselves in agreeance over the monstrosity that was Josh's man bun. One caller in particular delivers a catch-phrase so good, it may have changed Jennifers life forever. Thank you to our sponsors: CareOf: This episode is sponsored by CareOf, visit takecareof.com and use code 'hadit50' for 50% off your first order. Hint Water: Visit hintwater.com to get $1 a bottle with free shipping, when you order 3 cases. That's 36 bottles for $36 plus free shipping. Just use code HADIT at checkout. Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast  Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

So we're supposed to start the podcast. One, two, three. I'm believe it again. I'm believeable. All right, it's just unbelievable. Getting so good. I mean, before you know, we'll start producing this whole thing all by ourselves. It only took her seven months to get the clap down.

That's right. I really did. That's just like. Oh my gosh. Okay. I just want to go ahead and do the greeting right out of the gate. Okay. I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. We call her pumps. Kylie's here. Richard is here. I would like to welcome you to this very special, very special episode where we're basically going to do the same shit that we do every single Tuesday and Thursday. But we're going to hear from you guys today via your voice memos. But before we do that, I want to tell pumps about something I fucking had it with that I think needs to be banned.

Okay. Boycaughted. Outlawed. Oh, good. Okay. What are we talking about? Newsletters. Like coming into your inbox. At first, you might think, what's the deal with news letters? Okay. That's kind of the question I'm asking. Start paying attention. Okay. Hey, for 10% off, you can get our newsletter. And then it's like, I'm in the interior design business and every single vendor we use, check out our newsletter. Here's our newsletter. Right. Everybody is producing the news about themselves and they're trotting it out via email, torturing everybody with information that nobody wants to know a and b is not news. Right. It's like self promotion under the

guys of news. And it's not news. And it's not news. It's not news at all. I have this one vendor. And he's always like, hey, check out my newsletter. And I'm like, I have a precarious situation with the real news as is. I'm trying to figure out which fucking echo chamber I can go down without getting either a, pissed off, or be completely lied to.

You know, and I think all of us are kind of struggling with where do we get real proper news. I don't need some company, trotting out newsletters. And I'm telling you, now that I've brought this to your attention, it's unbelievable. These newsletters are rampant. Also, listener, please go to our website and put your email address in because at some

point, we may go on tour and we will send you a newsletter regarding such information. That's, yeah, part of the problem. But I agree on the newsletter. Like if you're just trying to sell me shit, just say for 20% off, this is what you get. Right. I was back that. I was at a store the other day, and they're like, because I'm very protective of my information, because why do you think we're getting all these spam calls all of a sudden? Well, think about all the times you've checked out,

and they say, what's your phone number? And you just give it to them. Yes. Guess what happens a few months after all of that happened. The spam calls. So somebody's selling our shit. Of course. And then people are calling you about a,

you know, a car warranty that you don't have or a student loan that you don't have harassing you. And then people are also like giving your email address out. And so, anyway, I'm at the store checking out. She's like, what's your cell phone number? I'm like, I'm not giving it. She's like, what's your email? And I'm like, well, I'm not giving it. She's like, well, if you give us your email, then you can get our new, you can sign up for our newsletter. And I don't know why the people that work at the stores, and this is a national retailer. I don't know why they get but hurt because I'm like, why do you care? All you do is ring me up, put my stuff in a sack and send me out the door. But I was like, I don't want to give you my email. I don't want the newsletter. And she was like, oh, like, why do you fuck your chair?

You're just a bitch. It's just what that says. But I mean, why am I the asshole that I don't wanna give my information to a huge corporation that is then going to terrorize me, via email and send me fake news under the guys, I mean, send me like this whole promotion under the guys if they're just trying to inform me.

Right. I don't want to be informed. No, I don't want to be informed about that shit. I want to be informed about the shit. I want to be informed. You know, like you like to, you, you curate your news based on your diet that you like politically. I try to get more like, okay, where are the facts? I sure

is fuck don't want Lulu Lemons newsletter. No, starbeats. Let me tell you something else that happened recently too. So most of the time, Josh will bring me like a, I have coffee in the morning at home, but then I like a like a second hit when I get to the office. And so Josh will bring me like a Starbucks. The other day he was out of town and I had to go into Starbucks. And by the like where you pick up your order that you've like placed on the app, there's a little mini chalkboard that like some you know, little whipper snapper that works their road app. Did you enjoy your Starbucks seven star experience? I had to read it like four or five times. I'm like, are they just making shit up? Seven stars?

What are the seven stars? Why are we going from five stars to seven stars? Like they've given themselves two additional stars. Nobody's even agreed that we're leaving the five star system. Right. I don't know who decided that, but I think we should have a say in that. We've all been living off of this five star thing.

Our whole lives and star breaks are not now seven. Yeah. I'm not ready to reprogram that in my brain. There's already too many things that people are changing that don't need to be changed. Agree. I mean, seriously, seven stars. And I'm sorry, I know you're a big Starbucks person. I'm not a big Starbucks person.

I'm not a huge Starbucks person. But it's like a stone throw from my house. But I'm just like, what? It's fucking coffee. They're not cure and cancer at Starbucks. It's coffee. Right. I mean, I don't know why we have to act like

it's the second coming or something. It just doesn't excite me as much as it excites most people. Okay. Kylie, do you have good voice, my most today? I do. Let's hear it. First, we've got Jonathan K. Hi, Jan. AKA Jess Sagar. And pumps the Ninja lesbian. Love. I've fucking had it. Well, in Sydney we say I'm fucking done with people not in control of their bodily fluids. I've just witnessed someone in an airport bathroom literally whole the nostril and snort into a sink and yak up them into a vanity in front of like 10 people. upflame into a vanity in front of like 10 people.

I fucking had it with this behavior. I'm done. And yeah, these guns can just fuck off. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to.

I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. point out that they British and the Australians just throw out the C word with just reckless freedom. Yes, just abandoned. It's just it's so touching. But he is 1,000% right. That just made me like kind of gag. No, this is like especially with teenage

sons. I mean, like when we go to Mexico and we're walking on the beach, they're coughing. Yes, the hack and shit. And it's just sp're walking on the beach, they're coffins. Yeah. The hack and shit and it's just spitting it on the sand and it's just disgusting. And I just think people that like have control over burping, over farting, over blowing your nose. I mean, the only caveat is like a sneeze when it comes on. Right. You can't help it.

But try to be cognizant of the people around you. But I do not like this just, you know, we're going to just blow noses and fart and burp in front of people. It disgusts me. I think it's very uncivilized. I think this is a spot where a little bit of shame could go a long way. I agree. I mean, there is no reason whatsoever in a public bathroom. You're snorting shit out your nose into the sink. That's just not into the stall. You go into the stall. Blur nose. privately. Flush it down the toilet. Oh my god. That's disgusting. I've had it. Had it. He's right. He's right. And if you have, like sometimes you have, like, you're sick and you have a lot of snott,

I've been there before. That's a very human experience. Go into the bathroom stall, blow your nose and flush it down the toilet. It doesn't have to be everybody else's problem. I totally, totally agree. Yeah, he's right. This episode is sponsored by Care Ev. You know, Pumps, when you're trying to find a supplement, it's such a

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This episode is brought to you by Hemp Water. Pumps, you know I'm really concerned about your health, and I have recently come across some alarming information from the World Health Organization that states consuming diet sweeteners can increase blood clot formations, which in turn can increase the risk of heart attacks and strokes. And so, you know, that iced tea that you drink with all that artificial sweetener is no longer allowed in the recording studio, because I've replaced it with hint water. I hate to tell you you're right, because I really do like the hint water. It's kind of the perfect little solution to my tea addiction. I know and you're drinking a lot less

tea with sweetener now correct? Correct. Because the hemp water really does the trick. Don't say I'd never did anything nice for you. Listener, you can find hemp water at retail stores like Walmart, Target, and Croger or have it delivered to your front door from hintwater.com. New customers can get hint for just a dollar, a bottle with free shipping when they order three cases. That's 36 bottles for 36 dollars and free shipping. Just use the code, had it at checkout. Okay, next we've got one from someone that goes by L.A. Simpson. My I've had it this week from Pittsburgh is people who attach a flag pole to their vehicle. Like why are we adding another thing that can be a projectile object onto a moving vehicle?

It's dangerous, it's aesthetically awful. Take the damn flag that belongs in front of a building off your vehicle. Yeah, I totally agree with you LA and I remember back in the, I guess it was like late 90s or early 2000s. And you'd be watching the news and they would show like the terrorist organizations Al-Qaeda, ISIS, where they did not have an official government and it's just like fucking chaos and anarchy and they have these trucks and they put their flag in the back of the truck. And I remember thinking, oh yeah, they have to put their flag there because they're not organized enough nor smart enough to have like a you know, like a unified government, because all they want to do is fight, is, you know, blow shit up or whatever. So as much to my surprise, when all of a sudden, everybody universally, like in the Western world would see this

and think, that's fucking nuts, they're driving around, you know, with a flag in their track. And much to my surprise, vanilla ice-s comes to the United States. Yes. And there's all these white dudes with their fucking flags in their trucks. And I'm just like, is this a penis issue? I just was gonna say, I saw one this morning on a great big truck, big flag, big truck,

immediately on my head I I thought little penis. Like if you're having to advertise how great you are, you're probably not that great. Were they advertising how great they personally were? Was this a political expression? It was, this was a political expression. Yeah. Which I, again, goes to small dick energy, little penis.

Like if you've got flags running around on your car, that puts a bumper sticker and a personalized license tag to Shang. Oh, it is, it is total vanilla ice. It's horrible. It is embarrassing. So embarrassing. Yeah. Like I, there's a lot of things that I like in the world. There's a lot of things I love in the world. I'm never gonna hike up a flag on my fucking car and drive around town with it. I just think that is such a level. Number one, she's right.

Like it's one thing we have to worry about flying. The projectile. Right. And number two, it's your experience. You immediately think. Because it's usually these Ford F-150s with kind of jacked tires. The bigger tires.

I saw one recently at a store. This truck pulls up and it has like the don't tread on me stickers and I'm a lion, not a sheep and all this fucking, you know, all this just fucking, you know, low-test, austro, bumper stick, right? Right. And it's a hiked up truck and then this guy gets out.

I mean, he's probably five, four. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. He probably hasn't had a hard serve in a decade. No. You know, and I had a picture of a rifle and it said, come and take it. Right. Yeah, they just like,

again, that's have lots of flags. I have found that to be true. There's a type here. It's a gun nut. It is vanilla ice. As these are people are typically white. I would say 98 to 99% of most of these flag tooting pickup truck people or white people.

So you've got that. And I think there's probably a lot of soft serve, small penis going on. I mean, it's just gotta be the unifying factor, I think. I think I opposed bumper stickers, but I would support one that said, if you have a flag on your car, I'm sorry about your dick. Oh my God.

Yeah. Kylie trademarked that immediately. Could you make that? It's like a bumper sticker? You know what'd be even better? It's when you see the guy with the flag, you follow him and then you put that bumper sticker on their car.

Here's the problem. They'd kill us with their guns. Fucking gun nuts. It's like, it's like these people, and they have their toys and I'm a lion, not a sheep and me, me, me, me, me. I'm like, what the fuck kind of language is that? I mean, just a little bit smarter. I'm a kangaroo, not a koala.

Wait. I've had it. I'm gonna get a flag. I fucking had it with that shit. How do you even see out of your rear view mirror with that stupid, stupid, I'm just putting it under the small dick You're a titty baby not a lion own it

Soft serve soft serve little dick vanilla isus bowl shit of had it. I've heard another term. What is it? Y'all kind of Never heard that I've had it. I love I love that but I've had heard that. I've had it. I love that, but I've had it with this type of person. Yeah. Okay, next we've got Michelle M. Hello ladies. This is what I've had it with.

Senior discount day. Now listen, pumps, you might be close. So I'll get it, you want to reap the benefits. Jennifer, not even close. Not even. But when's my day? I'm 36 years old. When do I get a day?

During the goddamn grocery store, they leave their fucking card a mile away in my way to go get their goddamn cheapest whatever me, whatever goddamn thing they need. Or they cut you off if you're waiting to get me they just they don't even notice you're there. They're like fuck you. Then you go to the checkout line and it's I roll goddamn city. Like oh where the fuck you got to go Karen. Go on your dog and pants you want to soap opera I've had it. Michelle yeah Michelle there's so much to impact there. Number one five stars on the delivery or

a Starbucks would say seven stars seven stars that is and here's the deal. She is 100% right. Senior citizens with the senior discounts, it is a lot. We both have parents that are seniors, and they like to grandstand. Nothing more than they love to tell you about their discount. And we're talking $1.50. Right.

Now my mom used to lie to get the discount to go into the movies. I will be, I mean, you know, what is that Charlton Heston from my cold dead hands? I mean, I will be like, I'm not a senior. What are you talking about? I had a football game last year that I went to that I, because typically they have a card reader, you can use your card.

Well, I only had like $5. And so I set my purse down, I was like, y'all, I don't think I have, they didn't have a card reader, it was cash only. And I was like, y'all, I don't think I have, they didn't have a card reader, it was cash only. And I was like, y'all, I don't think I'm gonna be able to come in, I only have $5. And the guy selling me the ticket said, well, you get the senior citizen discount,

and it's only $5. And so I said, you think I am a senior citizen, and he got super embarrassed. Well, every time I would get in the bathroom, I'd say something quibi to him about it. And by the time I left, she's like, you're gonna make me cry. This is terrible.

I mean, I just would not let it up on it. A senior, me. Well, I mean, you're the one, I mean, you gotta get bangs in like a year. But I mean, I just was like, here's the deal though. Back to Michelle's point. Like, these seniors, like my dad will go on and on about the senior discount that he got.

And at some points, I just wanna say, I'll give you the $2 so we don't have to hear about it anymore. Right. I mean, like, it is not interesting, nor fun. And I'm glad that you got to save money, but to Michelle's point, like,, I've had been able to, you know, accumulate money as I've gotten older. The time that I needed the discount was when I was when Michelle's age.

Right. Oh, absolutely. That's who needs the discount. The seniors, they're not paying for kids anymore. And then we wouldn't have, if I think we need to take the senior citizen discount away and give it to like the, you know, 25 to 35 35 those are the people that are really struggling financially right the hustle discount the when you're out there hustling for life senior citizens they've got it but I'll tell you my favorite thing as she said I roll god damn city and I think Kylie made us something because I love this so much that we now have a gold button, Michelle. Oh gosh.

I'm going to put it right at where's the speaker here? You ready? So every time you say something, I think it's stupid. I'm going to do this. I roll goddamn city. That was the best. Where's mine? I roll goddamn city.

So I'm going to keep it right here, Michelle. That's probably one of my favorite lines. Where's mine? Out of any color. You don't give seniors electric devices. Oh, electrical devices. Let's their vibrators. I love it.

Michelle, you are so right. I've had it with the seniors and their discounts and they're constantly flexing about the discount. Mom and daddy, if you're listening, we're all tired of hearing about the discount. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. It's not interesting.

Another thing she points out is the lingering at the meat counter. They do. They linger there. And it's like, all I have to do is grab this right in front of you. And I've just gotten kind of aggressive with them. And there's like, they do cut.

They totally cut. They're total cutters. The self-awareness starts to leave. And it's not all seniors, but like, it's just like, why are they getting the discount at that age? Maybe because they're getting seen with. We need it in the hustle era. Right.

I needed the discount when I was her age. Absolutely. Yeah, I agree with that. That's when you're just like adulthood is just slapping you in the face and you're paying here, paying here, paying here. By the time you're a senior, your house is probably paid for

or getting close to being paid for. Your kids are out of college or out of vocational school or exponentially less. A lot less. Yeah. Michelle, I think this is something we need to stand for. Ban the senior discount. What are we gonna name the gold button?

Huh? Oh, it's I, Roll God damn city. I, Roll God damn city. We're gonna name it too. Whenever you say something stupid, that's what I'm gonna do. Stupid button. The stupid button. Okay.

I will say you can record whatever you want on there. So that can last a long time. We can switch that out. I feel like I want to be one of those dogs on TikTok that has multiple. So Michelle's not going anywhere. Michelle, don't worry. I'm sorry that Kylie even suggested that I rolled goddamn city is staying with us forever. Forever. But new potential collars, we can order more of these buttons and we can be like a fucking Labrador on TikTok that's like treat.

Walk, you know, you've seen these dogs that do have all these buttons. Tubby has like three that he knows how to use. Of course he does. He does. Haley, I feel like you're showing favoritism that you got her the button and didn't get me over it. Oh, just gonna say. I will show you the answer. It's getting a lot of use, totally. Yeah. Just gonna say. I want you to be a citizen. I want you to be a citizen. I want you to be a citizen. I want you to be a citizen. I want you to be a citizen.

It's getting a lot of you, so really. Yeah. Yeah. Well, where are the batteries out of that? In about a moment, maybe like your vibrator, no batteries. Okay, next we've got Sarah F. I've had it with people who want you or like ask you to dogs it or cats it their animal and don't offer to pay you and basically just say that like the comfort and companionship of their

fur baby is enough payment for you to spend time with them. I've also had it with fur baby. Sarah, I mean I totally agree with you. And I am the biggest dog nut on the planet. But when I leave town, I want somebody to be paid for that. I want it to be a job. I want them to take it seriously. Like, my animals and you taking care of them requires a lot more than just them being your companion. Like you have to make sure they're eating,

walking, their serenity levels are high dopamine and serotonin is flapping around. I think that's crazy. And I also have fucking had it. And I think it is to call your dog a fur baby. Agree. You either call it one of two things, a dog, or your biological children, which is what I prefer to call my dogs. You know, it's one of those two. Well, when I was listening to her,

I was like, as even though you're the biggest dog net on planet Earth, I would never say that. You would never say, I'm not going to pay you because you get to enjoy my dogs. Never. I'm aware that they're spoiled rotten. That people don't love them as much as I or think they're as cute as Josh and the kids. I know that they are our little angels and that is exclusive to us. I know that other people don't love them the way that I do or see all of their assets and skills and intelligence and charm.

So many kids. I could go on and on and on about, I mean, all of the stuff that my dogs are accomplished at, but that's just for me to keep privately. Right. I would never, same, nor would my dogs be into that. No, they wouldn't want to snuggle up next to somebody new. The minute you walk out the door.

No, I'm with her, I've had it. Who fucking says I'm not gonna pay you for dog or cat sitting because you get to enjoy the company of my dogs? Like that person, Sarah, you need to distance yourself from that person. It's an immediate cut. And that's an immediate cut from the life. Absolutely.

And I mean, I worry about the, I worry about the well-being of the pet. Yeah, if you're resentful that they want you to just have companionship, maybe they don't even go check on the dog. Maybe they feed it the last day to punish you. It's not good, it's not a good. If you can't, if you have a dog or cat or bird

or what the fuck ever, you know, some sort of pet, you have to have like, that is your child. You have to feed it, water it, care for it. It has to have a babysitter that's paid. Absolutely. And I always feel like when we had little kids now, it doesn't apply, but it was easier to get something done with our kids if we wanted to go on a trip versus the dog.

Now they have those dog, you know, like, lodges they can go for the weekend or whatever. But I feel like it's easier to find like, hey, you go spend the night with your friend, I'm gonna be out of town. But finding a dog sitter is even harder, I feel like, than a kid sitter. That's why you gotta pay.

Like I want, when I go out of town, I want the person that's taking care of my dogs to be paid and to know that it's a job. Right, absolutely. Like their care, your payment is dependent upon their care. Like, I do, I'm not fucking around with that shit. It is a job, I will overpay you, but that's how important it is to me

that it is a paid responsibility. And I know that what I enjoy doing effortlessly that brings me a lot of, you know, fucking happiness for somebody else would be a lot of work. Walking a couple of French bulldogs with, you know, legs that are four inches long and a smushed face. I mean, you got to get in there. You got to, you got to talk them through. It takes a lot of pep talking, a lot of encouraging.

Yeah, like, hey, there could be a squirrel up there. You know, there's a lot of, there's a lot of stuff that you have to know. And I mean, I leave a psychotic style instruction type situation with the people that watch my dog, but they are paid and paid handily. Yeah. First of all, I'm not surprised that you leave a psychotic type instructions. That's pretty great. You can everybody can say whatever they want. I am not on a group me for a 22 year old. I'm not. I'm not. Not yet.

You know, I have a 20 year old. Dogs can't do for them. I'm not on a group me for anything. Anything. I'm not. I'm on a group me for Roman. I never get on it. And guess what happens?

Nothing. With me not looking at it and reading it. Nothing. Because everything that goes down in the group me is not a Jennifer problem. It's a Roman problem. Because Roman is just a few weeks away of turning 17. In Dylan's life, I just, he is 20. All of the shit that goes down are Dylan problems. So you can make fun of me all you want about my dogs, but they are creatures that are not as intellectually intelligent and as evolved as our species. Like a 22 year old can totally handle college life. Yeah.

So Sarah, get rid of that friend. That's not somebody you want in your life that things they have to have. What about fur baby? Fur baby. No. I mean, I guess it. I'm me. I've kind of had it. I'm going to Instagram or Facebook. It's like, my fair baby turned three today. Did it? Didn't look

at it. I object more to somebody marking their dog's birthday on Instagram than I do calling it a for baby, I think. I think it's a. Is everybody do that? I think it's a double whammy. People put their dogs birthday on. Oh yeah. Oh God. I have before. I can't. I need to throw a birthday party.

Yeah, I did. Surprise birthday party for Tubby. I don't want to get into all that. I want to get to our next caller. Oh, that's good stuff right there. Caller. Okay, next we've got Stephen H. Oh, hi, good stuff right there. Collar. Okay, next we've got Stephen H. Oh, hi, Jen and Pumps.

Stephen here, reporting for duty from Boston, Massachusetts. And I have fucking had it with men with long hair. I don't care if it's a man-bun, a samurai-bun, a fucking ponytail. These guys around here looking like fucking Fabio from 1987. I can't take it anymore. Cut your fucking hair. High and Tide Fade. Let's go military. Anything. Bring back the frosted tips for all I care, but get rid of the long hair. It's over, it's done, and I've had it. Steven's right. He's really, really pointed out something that has to be addressed.

Steven, I've lived this. Yes, you have. Long. I lived it too. I've lived this long national nightmare. And her saying that she lived it, let me just paint the picture for the listener is exactly what went down. So Josh decides that he's going to grow his hair out.

Grows his hair out. He spends a lot of time thinking about his hair, hair dues, there's hair files, there's a lot of shit that goes on. It was about 10 years ago. He's going to grow his hair out. Then he grows it out, and it's like, I'm going to start doing a man-man. Around the same time, we are filming for this reality show on Bravo, called Sweet Home Oklahoma.

And Josh had decided that instead of having a low man bun, he wanted to have kind of a high man bun. Right from the jump, I said, that looks like shit. It's going to be in the permanent record on a television show forever. It's not going to age well. And so it's said, will you please put my hair up in a bun? And I'd say, I'm not doing it. I'm going to have no part of this. I will not enable this. You're going to regret this. Please listen to me. He wouldn't listen to me. So he got in his car and he drove to her house. Which is like three streets. But I'm saying Pumps' house is before she moved to the suburbs to die. And she lived in the city. And so Josh would drive to Pumps' house and either Pumps or her daughter would put the hair up in the fucking samurai bin.

And it looked so awful. And he would beg me to pit it up. I said, no, I'm not enabling this. I'm going to have no part of this bad decision whatsoever. So as we all know, Josh cut his hair. He thinks it looks fucking great now. He's got a totally short-year row here. The clips since we've done the podcast,

the clips of the reality show kind of start resurfacing. And I'm telling you what, I mean, it is remorse. Right. City. I mean, he regrets and he says to me with a straight face, why didn't you do anything about this? Why didn't you tell me? I remember you telling him a thousand times.

Over. That's why he had to skirt down to my house and get his little man band down. Over and over and over again. This will not age well, but he would not fucking listen to me. Now, so Pumps put his hair up in that catastrophe every single day. Yeah, I mean, there's no shock that I'm the enabler. I don't think that's a nice flash. Okay, next we've got cat sea.

I have had it with the fake eyelash extensions. Are you doing a photo shoot? Is it a gala? No, you're in line at Walmart with your raddi-old fleece sweatpants and these giant spider legs coming out of your eyes. It looks ridiculous. I have just had it. I don't know where to look when I see these people with these giant eyelashes. They have got to go.

Cat, I know that I am a part of the problem, but I have to say, I mean, I will double down on my lashes every day. I love them so much. It's like the one appointment that I will never move, that I want, that I like block that out. That is my eyelash appointment. I agree with her. I agree with her though. There are people that I see and they have on no makeup, right? And then these just massive, tarantula eyes, fucking tarantulas coming out of their eyes. They're not dolled up at all. And what it looks like is a person that forgot to take off their fake eyelashes, but much

to my surprise, they've done this so that it's permanent. So they always look like they have a drag queen lash. And a drag queen lash is great. If you're a fucking drag queen on stage, it's fantastic. But when Josh and I were in Europe, we would sit at a cafe for those of you that know Paris, cafe to florey on Boulevard, Saint Germain would sit there. And we play again, spot the Americans. And you can always spot the Americans by number one, big baggy t-shirts, slopily dressed, immediately go that's an American.

The women that are trying to be more Parisian and they're kind of like trying to dress Parisian, you could always spot them by the fake eyelashes because French women would never, ever do something so atrocious. Yeah, no, I fucking love them. How do you look in the mirror, at least with Josh in the hair, I tried to tell him. At least I've told you, you're like, I've got to get my lashes in them, like tell her to tone it down and touch. How do these women get through and they don't have any sort of fashion referee in their life that says, you know, you might want to have your lash girl

don't dial those back a bit because you're wearing like, you know, I'm going to a rave at midnight lashes. And it's like an 8 a.m. at the dentist office. That's one of the great things about lashes though is they're always on. Cause I always feel like, cause I don't like to wear makeup if I don't have to. But it always seems like I have lashes. Now, I mean, I agree, you can get too extreme. I mean, it can be too much, but I am always going to go straight down

the line. Loving, love, love, loving lashes. Extensions. It becomes like, when your eyelashes become the most dominant feature of your face, Like when your eyelashes become the most dominant feature of your face, you have a bad lash person or making bad choices. One of the two, like it's fucking nuts. Is it a goddamn eye roll? Hang on. Sarah, here's our fill about that fake lashes. I love this button so much.

And I love Michelle for that statement. And Kylie, forgetting me, this cold button that I can use every time Pump says something dumb during a podcast in the just the phrase, I roll God damn city. It's so on brand for who we are. It is so on brand. Love it.

Listen up, listen up. If you want to be featured on our episodes, go to Instagram and leave a voice memo. And you know, like spice it up, like Michelle did. I mean, make it fun. Make us laugh. We get a ton. So if you don't get picked, don't be heartbroken.

It's crazy how many we get. And we're so flattered. So we try to get, but we can only, like time wise, put out about four or five. Anyway, pumps, you have anything to say to the listener. Thanks for listening. That's it. Well, I mean, is the princess Diana Pockett? Well, I am the princess Diana Pockett.

Okay, here's what I was trying to toss to her. Please follow us on all the shit, like all the shit, and we will see you next Tuesday, listener. Five star reviews, please. You nailed it, Pumps. Pumps. Pumps. Pumps. Pumps.

Pumps. Pumps. Pumps. Pumps. Pick up that class of Pina Grigio, your drink of choice, and come have some fun with us on Turtle Time. We're gonna do more than just drink and party on this podcast, Mom.

I know, I know. Okay, if you don't know who I am, well, I'll remain a singer. And that's my daughter, Avery. And you probably know us best from the real housewives of New York. And now you'll get to know us even better on our podcast, Turtle Time. Let's make more iconic moments together every Wednesday. It's Turtle Time. Follow Ray and review now on Apple Podcasts,

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