I've Had It - Failed Trust Fund Baby

Episode Date: March 13, 2025

An orange toddler and a failed drag queen walk into an Oval Office... Pre-order our new book, join our Patreon Cult, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast. Thank you to our sponsors: This episode is brought to you by Booking.com: Find exactly what you’re booking for on Booking.com, Booking.YEAH! Addyi, The Little Pink Pill: See full prescribing information and medication guide, including boxed warning for severe low blood pressure and fainting, at http://addyi.com/pi Homes.com: When it comes to finding a home - not just a house - we have everything you need to know, all in one place. https://homes.com. We’ve done your home work. RoBody: Go to https://ro.co/HADIT to see if you qualify. June's Journey: Please download by clicking https://wooga-junes-journey.onelink.me/M4rK/de6f3d47?c=jj_us_mobile_proseeders_uspodcast_ivehadit_march25 or by scanning our QR code. Follow Us:  I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking. Yeah! Every time I use Booking.com to find a place to stay in the U.S., I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options, from hotels to vacation rentals, and I'm always able to find something that fits my specific needs. I've found that Booking.com has something for everyone. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com. Booking. Yeah. Ready? One, two, three. Patriot, patriots,

Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots. It is the dawning of a beaver. Angela D. Beaver, America's best DEI podcaster here with you deep in the bowels of Trump's America. And the bowels is the absolutely perfect description. Yeah. All right, Pumps, what have you had it with? What I've had it with is door to door solicitations for services. Why do we both sound slightly drunk today? I can't say solicitation. I said patriots. You're like solicitations. We're eight weeks in or seven weeks in to Trump's America and we can barely talk.

You sound like Mike Wazowski. I'm slurring, stone cold sober. We got a lot of problems. It's only going to get worse. Okay. When people come to your door and they try to sell you shit, first of all, I don't want your window washing services. I don't want your window washing services, I don't want your pest services, I don't want any of the crap you're coming to my door to ruin my evenings slash

weekend rile my dogs up. And if I did want any of those services, I would go on what's called the World Wide Web and I would find somebody to do it. But now after you've come to my house directly, screwed up my entire vibe and left your crappy flyer on my porch. If I need any of those services, the person I won't use is the person that came to my door and disturbed me in my private time. That drives me crazy. It was bad enough when the Mormons were doing it. Now we've got people just hilly nilly coming to your door.

I am 100% in agreement with you. I don't like forced capitalism, and that's what this is. They are forcing it upon you in the privacy of your own home. And even if I thought it was a really great service, and I really needed the service, because they came to my front door without my consent and disturbed my alone time, my home time, it will always be a no. And I do want to talk about the Mormons a bit, because they're always fun to beat up on. They're so good.

Here's what's so hilarious about Mormons. If you have a cult, right, and you're all in this cult and it's the Mormons, and you're having a meeting with everybody and you go, I'll tell you what we're going to do. We'll send the 18 slash 19 year olds door to door to recruit people. As a 50 year old woman that I'm going to answer the door and there's going to be some 18 year old Mormon kid that's going to change my complete worldview on existentialism and spirituality is so breathtakingly stupid. You know, I mean, it's just so dumb. And then that also reminds me of these Mormon TikTok videos where these kids are just like in a pretzel.

They don't know if they want to kill a puppy or have a sip of coffee. Right. Like that shit is fucking crazy. And I think Brigham Young University should be closed down and canceled forever. That student after student is that morally bankrupt, that they would rather kill a puppy than have a sip of coffee. What kind of sociopathic breeding ground training camp indoctrination Mormon bullshit is that? It really is breathtaking when you hear them say it.

I mean, it's just you cannot get enough people to say they would rather, you know, go to war versus have a coke. I mean, it's just nuts. It's nuts. It's absolutely crazy. I was on Instagram the other day and I talked about this on Patreon, but there's this viral video where there's this Brigham Young mascot and he's like dancing. I like my rolly rolly rolly and he's doing this dance and it's dynamite. Like it went viral. He's

dancing with the cheer squad. It's like, dang, that mascot is, you know, really got some moves and I was like, that's dynamite. Well, it popped up on my feed recently and then it was like a reveal of the guy who was actually the mascot. And he's this gay guy. So then of course then I like segue over to his Instagram page and I see that it's Brigham Young University, which that was lost on me when I saw the original viral reel. And then I'm like, then I go to his stories and I'm like, oh, he's an out of the closet gay man. And I thought in my mind, former Mormon.

Of course. He's about to spill the tea on Mormonism. And much to my surprise, it was about how to be a gay Mormon. Can you be a gay Mormon? He is. He's a gay Mormon. But I mean, I don't know. I mean, based on the evidence that I've seen on this Mormon TikTok fuckery,

where these kids are tortured over like, one of them was like, kill your grandma or have a sip of vodka. Right. And they're like, I think I just go ahead and kill my grandmother. I'm like, you warmonger sociopath cult people, like how is this university open?

How is this a place? How are they proud of this? Like if my child ever said something like that, I would think I really have failed miserably at everything in my life. And they're proud of these answers. Right. I was going to say, their parents look at that and think, I have just raised the greatest Mormon of all time. Killing the grandmother

versus a sip of vodka, good for you. And I feel so sad for these Mormon kids because you know they should be sipping vodka, having sex, making bad choices because that's part of the college experience. And I'm sure that there's some pearl clutching Mormons right now listening to this going, oh my God. And it's like, listen, you only live one time. And college is the time where you get to go have sex, experiment with drugs, make bad choices, figure out who you are. And then adulthood comes raining down on you.

But to be like this whole idea that you're planning your whole life for the, what do they call it? The magical kingdom or? Celestial. Celestial kingdom. What a racket. What a racket. Oh, and they have so much money. I think they might have more money than the Catholic church now. Don't quote me on that, but they're like one in two,. The Mormons have a massive, massive, massive, massive accumulation of wealth. That's a racket. That's a total, total racket, which let me tell you what I've had it with.

Triple Trumpers. And listener, let me tell you what a triple Trumper is. A triple Trump is an American citizen that voted not once, not twice, but three times for Donald Trump. Triple down. Yes. And I've had it with these triple Trumpers. I am convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that the triple Trumpers are the biggest threat to democracies worldwide. Well, most triple Trumpers are radical, evangelical America first Christians, and that puts them in that category for me. But let me ask you this. I'm seeing all these things on the internet about how all these triple Trumpers feel so betrayed because Donald Trump is cutting their jobs, cutting their health care, social

security, whatever the thing is that they're doing. You know, you see these people going, well I thought he was gonna go against like the black and brown people, not me. My empathy radar is having a hard time. I mean, I feel badly for these people, but I'm like, if you just took like five minutes to get out of the right-wing propaganda bubble, you could have just given it a goog and figured out exactly what he was going to do because he told you. Here's the situation. You have agency as an adult to what news you consume.

And I have to, for this other podcast, Pumps and I have to, for this other podcast, Pumps and I have to, for our political podcast, I Have News, I have to be very aware of what's going on in the 24-hour news cycle. And oftentimes, I see some clickbait headline, and I click it because, you know, it's juicy, and it ropes me in. But after I read it and it makes an extraordinary claim,

I then vet that claim because I have agency and I'm not a fucking imbecile and I want to make sure that I know the facts. Triple Trumpers are intellectually lazy and they like to feast on hate. They love it. They want hate for their appetizer, hate for their entree, hate for their dessert, and hate for their middle of the night snack. Because I sometimes go over to Fox News and I think I want to see how they're spinning

this. I'm only able to watch it for three to four minutes because it is so insulting to my intelligence. It is so breathtakingly anti-intellectual. It is this red meat served up for dumb people to reinforce their stupid bias. It is a stupid confirmation bias. And triple Trumpers, you have agency. And if you think that a trust fund baby like Donald Trump, who has failed at marriage, at business, at managing the COVID epidemic, we can get into him bribing Zelensky and all this other crazy shit that he did, fell in love with Kim Jong-un, said that, his words, they fell in love, write

each other love letters. And you think this guy isn't going to dick you over? You're one dumb motherfucker. Right. That's why my empathy problem, I'm coming up short. Here's how I, here's the reach around for the empathy problem. I personally don't have that much empathy for these people, but my voting record covers them. My voting record will make sure that even dumb dipshits that sit around and watch Fox News and go to their evangelical megachurch and wonder why their

preacher is so rich when he takes VIMO. My vote ensures that if they lose their jobs, they will have unemployment benefits. If they are fired by a bunch of billionaires and they don't have healthcare and they get cancer, that they can access Medicaid. If you served in the armed forces and you get PTSD, that there's going to be a veterans affair. Also, my vote also ensures that we have air traffic controllers that make sure your plane doesn't get fucking crashed into by a United States military helicopter like it does in Trump's America.

So that's my reach around for that. My vote covers my personal inability to have empathy for these dipshits because they're so intellectually lazy. My vote covers them. That's a great way to put it. And you know what? That's my reach around.

I feel better. Yeah, I do. I feel better because that's exactly right. Yep. All right, welcome to America's Top DEI Podcast. I'm Jennifer and my co-host, as everybody knows, is Angela D. Beaver, the donning of a beaver. She is leading this democracy with our new mascot, the beaver. Angela? The beaver. Yes, hi. Or me, my drag. I do kind of like that.

I really like it a lot, but I'm really into this beaver thing. The donning of a beaver. It will never not be funny to me. Catherine. Yes, Jessica. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm really, really, really good. I'm just doing some mild, light Trump bashing there. I find it very cathartic.

Yeah, I feel better every time I do it. I feel like I'm a lease. Yeah, I call them dipshits, you dumb fucks. God, that's therapeutic. And I do think intellectually lazy is actually- Intellectually lazy dipshits. But it's the perfect description. Yeah, they are.

I mean, you know, I'm just telling you, Fox News is an IQ decreaser. Yeah, and I wonder, like, I see some of their anchors and I thought, you know, they've probably graduated from good schools, or at least graduated, and they're probably educated. Have they just gotten done with working there? It's a show. It's an entertainment. I mean, it's an entertainment. It's not news. It's entertainment. It's an entertainment channel. Okay. Kylie, what's going on in the internet? I've got two reviews for you. This one is five stars from Millennial Matthew. And he says I've had it with trying to leave a review. This is an absolute testament to how much

I love you all and this podcast because this is now the fourth review I've written as for reasons unknown to me, Apple refuses to accept my last three. Perhaps my colorful language had something to do with it. Anyway, this podcast is amazing and I have never missed an episode. Listening to Jessica and Pomp's rant about whatever is bothering them this episode is the highlight of my Tuesdays and Thursdays.

In fact, I'm not sure what it says about me as a gay man, but part of me really wishes I could send Jenna Stanley just to be able to appreciate the tongue lashing she would give me. Thank you all for being a bright spot in an otherwise bleak period. Much love from a longtime listener and forever gatorade. Matthew, I have to tell you when we were on our DEI podcasting tour, the Hot Shit tour, we have this like meet and greet after the show. And a lot of gay triads reveled in bringing me Stanley Caps. But there was one gay treat in particular.

And for those of you long time listeners, you will remember when somebody called me a centrist. And I was just, I mean, it took me about five or six episodes to unravel out of it. No, it was weeks. They've called me, you're ugly, you look like a trans man, and all this, which I don't find that insulting. But all of this from these conservatives,

it just bounces right off. I don't think anything of it. But when I was called a centrist, it really bothered me. And so these two gay triads brought me a shirt that said proud centrist in the ultimate troll. Rebbed you right up again. And I mean, and they were dying. They gave it to me and they were dying laughing. Yeah, the centrist that really bothered me. Yeah, the centrist, that really bothered me. Yeah, because the centrist, that's so intellectually lazy. That's like, I'm going to be just safe. I'm

a moderate. I'm a centrist. Fucking dig deep. Claw in. This is Trump's America. Pick a side. You have to try harder. Quit trying to get everybody to like you. Quit being a pick-me centrist. I've had it. Okay, I just want to make one comment to Millennial Matthew. He left three reviews before he let, gave this fourth one. And I want to say, I appreciate that he stayed the course. He didn't back down. He kept going through, they kept rejecting. He said, I don't give a fuck. I'm staying in. I'm taking it over the finish line. Millennial Matthew, we need more like you.

Pumps, that is a great point because, you know, we do like to talk about sometimes there are people out there right now with AirPods in their ears that just listen, maybe they never miss an episode, but they've never gone public with it. They are closet podcast listeners. And Matthew has, I mean, he's breaking out of the closet, hinges flying off. Right. I'm gonna leave a review if it kills me. And I do. I like you. I appreciate Millennial Matthew

and that effort. That's what that's kind of leadership this country needs right now. Okay. Okay. This one is five stars from Isabella titled Thank God for this podcast. And she writes, As a 20 year old blue dot in the increasingly red state of Ohio, you guys get me through this disaster we're living in. And I must add that JD Vance, the drag queen wannabe is an absolute embarrassment to my state. Seriously, I hope Kamala Harris left behind

some dresses, heels, and makeup in the VP office so JD can still play dress up. As we all know, he is dying to do. On a more serious note, this podcast along with IHIPnews really does make my day, especially since I also have to deal with my triple-trumper dad who is convinced the convicted felon will make good decisions for this country. I am so thankful for this podcast and for Jen and Poms. Thank you for always providing me with laughter and entertainment in these uncertain times.

Love you guys. Please keep it up. Isabella, the second part, I love that. Thank you for listening. Let's get to the tea. Let's get to the first part. Let's get to the current vice president in the United States.

He is a failed drag queen. He attempted to be a drag queen in college. He failed miserably. Drag queens around the globe probably are erupting in celebration to this date. His official vice presidential portrait is the most yassified thing I've ever seen in my life. And I have a theory. I have a theory and this is, I'm going to roll out my theory right here. It's pretty controversial. So fasten your seatbelts. If you look at early J.D. Vance photos, okay, when he was running for Senate, he's puffy, hairs not a great,

at a great style. He doesn't dress very well. Chubby, sloppy looking, right? Then he goes off to Silicon Valley and hangs out with Peter Thiel, who is a part of the billionaire oligarch, opposes democracy bizarrely, and he is a gay man. After JD Vance's time with Peter Thiel, he comes out looking like he got queered. He does. No, there's no doubt about that. There's no doubt. He looks like he got queered in Silicon Valley by Peter Thiel. And then the eyeliner starts. And I just am telling everybody right here, right now, poor Usha Vance, I see her, she looks like a hostage, because I think when JD comes home from work, he has a drag closet somewhere, and he's popping smokey eyes, he's putting on a lash,

he's doing a lot of stuff. A lash. We've got feather boas, and I think that's what goes on in the evenings. I think Peter Teal yassified him and let him, he kind of got to be gay at Peter Teal's camp. Then he had to come back out. Now he has to cosplay being a straight man. The one thing he can't give up is that eyeliner. He cannot he can't he cannot quit the eyeliner He can't quit it. No, it's I mean it is broke back Mountain quick can't quit JD Vance in the eyeliner

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tiredness, difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, and dry mouth. See full PI and medication guide, including box warning at addie.com forward slash PI or call 844-PINKPILL. Ask your doctor about Addie today. That's addie.com. Okay. I have some news. Okay. A man walked 280 miles to cool off after arguing with his wife. Departing from his home in Como, which is in Italy, he traveled southward, averaging about 40 miles per day until reaching the coastal town of Fano. Along the way, he relied on the kindness of strangers for food and drink. At around 2 a.m., police discovered the man in Fano. Upon verifying his identity, they learned that his wife had reported him missing a week earlier. Despite his extensive trek, the man

appeared lucid and focused. His wife subsequently traveled to Fano to retrieve him, covering both his hotel expenses and the imposed fine. I'll tell you what, I admire this. Yeah, he was mad, wasn't he? I just admire it like, you know what? Fuck it. I'm taking my clothes off and I'm walking. I'm going to Forrest Gump this shit.

Remember when Forrest Gump just took off and he just had it and he just ran? And I think this could be something really fun for Angela D. Beaver. A naked Beaver walk for democracy. How about with the hangers? Now you're talking. Yeah. I just don't think I would have the, I mean, that would take a, I mean, you're talking weeks, same shoes, same clothes. He's naked. Oh, he was fucking naked. Did I miss that part? Oh my God.

I just thought he left the house. I didn't know he took off all his clothes. Oh, was he naked or did I make that up? I think you made that up. You're talking about my mind being in the gutter all the time. Pumice is always in the gutter. She's always talking about naked people. Oh, guess how the worm has turned.

You know what I think it is from? I really, okay, I projected that. That was total, that was projection. I projected that this Italian man did this naked. Okay, and so I think where this is coming from is this deeply held desire that the listener and I have, that during Trump's America, that you take a field trip to a all-inclusive naked resort,

nudist resort, and report back to us for content as your patriotic duty. Just my duty as an American citizen. And if you don't wanna do it, you could at the very minimum send Angela D Beaver to do it. Yassified. Yeah. Yassified up. Yeah. All right. I'm sorry that I misread that story about him being naked. All right. It can be away from my dog that long. I'll just say that I'd have to take my dog with

me on that walk. Can you take your dog to the nudist resort? Well, he's nude. I guess so. Okay. I have another news report. Around 76% of high performing women receive negative feedback compared to only 2% of high achieving men. Why is this happening? Unconscious bias leads managers, male or female, to typically

evaluate women during performance reviews on their personality rather than the work they contribute. Are they easy to work with? Do they get along with everyone? Are they likeable and collaborative? And this right here, these stats right here, this is why Donald Trump won against two different women. Because he can be the biggest, most unlikable, horrible piece of shit on the planet. And Hillary and Kamala had to do everything perfect. And women that are in executive positions are judged a million times more. And this right here, this sexism, this inherent sexism and society's inability to embrace and appoint

women to positions of power is why we're in this shit show that we're in. I completely agree. I think it's interesting, you know, you've always heard the phrase, you know, if a woman does it, she's a bitch. If a man does it, he's a strong leader. Now we have data to back this up, because that is the inherent internalized sexism of so many people in this country. 76% of high-performing women receive negative feedback.

2% of high-performing men receive negative feedback, 2% of high performing men receive negative feedback. Those stats are staggering. They are staggering. Okay. Do we have anything else on the agenda today before we move along with our regularly scheduled program? Kylie, do you have anything to report from the lesbian parts of the earth? I don't.

Lesbian parts of the earth are we're renewing passports, getting ready to if we have to run. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Okay, I want to say something to all of the gay triates and they triates out there. And this is something that really bakes the shit out of me. And I can only imagine how it makes you all feel. So a lot of corporations target Amazon, et cetera, started DEI initiatives. Tesla actually used to be like a gay pride car. Years ago when Elon Musk would tweet about it, how it had gotten like 100% ranking from the gay community long before he started the ketamine and Russian and Donald Trump fellatio.

But I digress. They act like they're all BFFs with the gay community and then Trump wins. And then they drop you like a box of hot rocks and there's no principle. There's no dignity. There's no loyalty. And I think the one thing that I dislike in people more than anything else is when they're inauthentic and disloyal, I really deeply value loyalty. And if you're going to be an ally of the LGBTQ plus community, be a fucking ally. And all you little white women that go visit your hairdresser who makes your hair look

absolutely fabulous. And it makes you feel like, Oh, I'm not a homophobe. My hairdresser is gay. And then you go triple Trump. I've had it. You know, it's, it's an epidemic. It really is of people being so performative. But I am reading there are economic impacts of this, that people are taking a look at where

they're spending their dollar on. You know, I don't know how the whole economic blackout went, but I know Target sales were down close to $10 billion because they rolled back DEI. And that's how it should be. That's absolutely how it should be. These people fucking suck. They're playing the short game right now. And the long game is simply this. White people are going to be a minority in the United States sooner rather than later. This is a very diverse culture. And they're playing the short game with something because it's all about shareholders and profits and kissing Donald Trump's ass. But at the end of the day, I think the message in Trump's America, what we have to sniff out, is all of these people that

are being inauthentic. And I'm talking about like politicians who are trying to run to the center and abandon LGBTQ plus rights. I'm just, I'm not going to tolerate it. We're going to call them out and this community needs to be supported. And here's something too. There's this myth that Democrats only care about that one issue. And the issue is this, We care about human rights. We care about freedom. You know how Maggie's like, I'm for freedom.

The Constitution. We have to get a close up on that face. I'm like, I want freedom. Fucking. Uh, anyway. You're not for freedom. No, we're for freedom. All right.

That's all. All right. Let's all. All right, let's, all right. Listen, listen, listen, this is an uplifting podcast. Right, we're not mad or angry. Listen, listen, listen, we're positive. We're about positivity and light, unicorns and rainbows. That's right, okay, speaking of which, let's hear from our listener. Okay. First, we've got Erica. Okay. Hi. So I know that Pomp but I also have noticed that whenever she

mentions her dog she only refers to Oliver Glizzard, Glizzy and not Blaze. Like it's almost like Blaze has disappeared. And just, you know, with the history of Pumps not being a great pet owner, I just, you know, wanted to check in as a concerned party about Blaze and just make sure that, you know, he still is okay and he still lives with Pumps and that he is getting the affection and love

that he deserves and that, you know, Glizzy isn't the only kind of dog in the house and Blaze is just kind of, you know, on his own. Anyway just checking in, just checking in about Blaze. I love you guys. I just listened to literally every single podcast episode you've ever put out and I'm done now, which is depressing because I can't listen to you 24 seven. But yeah, so I just wanted to check in about Blaze. Okay. Hang on. Miss Beaver, what do you have to say? What do you have to say for yourself? Okay. this is a great call. Great caller, thank you.

Okay, here's the deal about Blaze. Blaze lives in Stillwater with my oldest son the majority of the time. Now he's been back. That's a stretch. Well, I mean, he does bring up, he's been back the last five weeks. What percentage of the time do you think he lives? I'm going to go 20. No, last semester he was there most of the time.

This semester because we found out Blaise has really bad arthritis and so he had to get five shots like one week in a row. But no, I absolutely love him. It's a great check-in. He goes to school. They're saying the shots are working. He's like a lot more active. Right now I got a new bed that's too high so he can't jump on the bed. So got him this little floor mat. Let's pump the brakes on the rhetoric. Let me ask some hard-hitting questions here that she wants to answer too. Who do you love more? Obviously I love Blizzard more. Okay. All right. But I love Blaze and I'm good to Blaze. I love on him like this morning. That's questionable though because I don't want to go back down memory lane again, but you do shaving and he is a husky and veterinarians that we've met in person at our shows, and

not just veterinarians, I believe one of them was a lesbian veterinarian, which I think makes you even more qualified. If you're a lesbian veterinarian is greater than a heterosexual veterinarian. Agree. And because lesbians have superpowers. Our veterinarian is a lesbian veterinarian. Right. And she's a DEI veterinarian because we exclusively use DEI hires.

That's right. But you shave Blaze. I have and I absolutely stand by it 100%. I love him more when he's not shedding as much. I think he's happier because it's not conditional. It's just, I find closeness when I can love on it without getting care all over me. Let me ask you this. Let's say that Oliver Glizzard had like, he was a fluffy Frenchie and he shed like crazy and you shaved him. And then a couple of lesbian veterinarians said to you,

listen to me, that is not good for that dog. It has an undercoat and an overcoat and a cooling and a heating and all the stuff that all the lesbian DEI veterinarians explained to us, right? Would you continue to shave all of her glizzard or would you decline based on the advice of the said lesbian veterinarian? I'd probably continue to shave them because I just wouldn't. I call bullshit. Well, no, here's the deal. I call bullshit on that. I can shave. Like I do the vacuum every Sunday on Blaze. This is a hypothetical. Okay, but I'm just saying I would probably shave them. I just, I do not like hair everywhere. I don't like dog hair everywhere.

I can do the vacuum cleaner, the dog vacuum cleaner, pet vacuum cleaner. On all it gets off, I tried to do it on Blaze, I can't do it. So I'm gonna stand firm, but I do the shave. Okay, what else? Hit me. You're shaving Oliver?

No, no, no, no, no. But I would if I had a fluffy that was shedding like Blaze does. What if it made him less attractive? Well, I obviously think that my French Bulldog is possibly the cutest dog that's ever been born in the history of the world. So it wouldn't matter to me. If you were out with the dog and it was shaved and then somebody comes up to you and says, how long has your dog been on chemo? Would that impact any? No. Okay. All right.

Let's move along. All right. Next we've got Kirby. Okay. So you know what I've had it with other than just Trump generally speaking, sorry, he's in the background. I can't pause because I'm poor and I don't have cable. I think Trump just uses Melania's bronzer. Like I think he just stuffs his face in it because he doesn't ever get touched by her anymore. It's just my assumption. It's just my assumption. I've fucking had it with this motherfucker. But yeah, that's the answer, pumps.

He doesn't have a shitty makeup artist. He just steals his wife's products. Maybe he wears her dresses too. Miss Beaver. You know, here's the thing. I feel like that their makeup is matching more and more and more. Like they're the same color. It's almost like she, she was using his makeup artists.

So this makes a ton of sense to me. I can buy this all day long and twice on Sunday. Yeah. Yeah. I can see it. Don't you know that she sits around and thinks, how many more days until he drops dead? I mean, don't you know she just actively thinks about that all the time? She fucking hates his guts and there's no way she's not. That's why she's been at the

White House like one day. Yeah. I mean, hates. And I used to have some empathy for her. Oh, I don't. But I don't. Now, I think she's every bit as psycho and cruel as he is. Yeah, I'm no Melania fan at all. I think a woman that stands by a man that marginalizes other people like that, and it doesn't just go for Melania. This goes to a lot of white women that are mothers and have maternal instincts that watch somebody dehumanize and marginalize groups of people,

and they like it and it tastes good to them. I'm not down with that type of woman. That women supporting women, or women supporting women. I don't support those women. Nope. Listener, have you noticed that everyone is losing weight? I mean, every time you look around somebody's dropping weight left and right. Well, do you want the fastest working GLP-1 for half the list price? We're happy to tell you about Roe. I have loved Roe because number one, they explain what GLP-1s are and if they're right for you, give you support through the entire process.

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Just a quick one. If this state visit does go ahead with Trump coming to London, my partner and I have decided we're going to take our 10-year-old up to where he's going to be to protest because we need to show him how we should be doing things and that's not inviting dictators into our country. So just trying to think of some things we can write on our signs in protest. Things immediately come to my mind are not PC for a 10-year-old. I wrote down the one you said earlier, Jen, we oppose fascism. Love that. That's going to be one of them. But any ideas that you

have that we could write on our protest signs against Trump for our 10-year-old to show him how things should be done would be much appreciated. Thank you. Okay. I love Holly and her accent. I love the accent. I appreciate Holly so much that she came to us to write PG rated political bashing signs. That is such an ambitious ask.

Right, because my first thought that popped in my head when she said that's age appropriate for a 10-year-old is like, oh, that's off the list. Well, right when she said British and right when she said criticize Donald Trump, of course I thought Donald Trump is a cunt would be right at the top of my list. Right, because you're in England. Yeah. Yeah. And maybe it wouldn't even be bad.

That's 10-year-old approved because they use cunt differently than we do. I think probably you can't say cunt. Here was what mine is. Obama's dick is bigger than yours. Perfect. Just that on the sign, he goes down and he sees Obama's dick is bigger than yours. Here's what you do, Holly. You go petty.

And of course you tell your child, here's the sign that says, you know, we oppose fascism. And you have your child hold that. Then you and your husband have these kind of like flip signs where it's like, we know you have a small penis, no small pricks in the UK. And that's the kind of shit that really matters to him the most. You are a bad golfer. You cheat at golf. You have small hands. You can put that on. You have teeny tiny hands. Why are your hands so small? What else is so small?

Everybody hates you. Everybody hates you. Your makeup's terrible. Your poll numbers are as small as your dick. That nailed it. I just got tingly inside. Get the hammer and the nail. All right. All right. Next. Okay. Up next to we've got Sarah. What I've had it with is lifestyle coaches. Okay. And for those who are listening and don't know what a lifestyle coaches is basically a pyramid scheme where middle-aged women, Karen and fucking Barb join and they, they're not trained as a nutritionalist or a personal trainer. None of that. They are middle-aged women who go online and fucking harass people on social media and their friends and family. And they're like, join this fitness program.

Look at how much weight I've lost. Look what I've done. And they, you know, inspire, but no fucking bully and annoy people the shit out of people to basically join a fitness program or eat a certain diet food or take a certain medication. And they're all on their page. Look at me and look what I've done. And they're the same weight they used to be and they've ever been. They just pose in a different thing or they're wearing workout clothes. They post every day about their life and how great it is because they've lost weight and they've joined this program or this plan. We have long been whistleblowing about this coach fraud. And they're popping up all over the place. Yeah, they are. You got life coaches, you got relationship coaches, you have a weight loss training coach,

coach, coach, coach, coach. If you're not on a sports team, don't call anybody else coach. Don't do it. It's a racket, a total racket. And they always prey on their people that are closest to them, all those multi-level marketing things, all the scams. They always start with the people on the inside. Like they're in a circle.

You know where they're ubiquitous, all these multi-level marketing. Where? Mega churches. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. It's like breeding grounds for Trumpism, Stanley Cups, and faux coaches.

And for those triple Trumpers listening, faux means fake in French. Just so you know. Just so you know. F-A-U-X. Okay, here's the deal. When I see these people, and I've seen a couple of these come up online that's like, I've lost 40 pounds in three months on my nutritional thing and my whatever it is, like an apple cider vinegar gummy or whatever the racket is. Like bitch, you're on the jab. Everybody knows it.

Like stop. Yeah. Like stop trying to lie about like nobody loses that much weight without being on the jab and your exercise plan certainly isn't going to do it. Yeah. I mean, shut up. Yeah. I hate it.

I'm not, you know, I mean, I completely agree with you. I think we need to demand jab honesty. I don't know why people care. I really don't. Here's the thing. If you don't want to tell anybody anything, then don't attribute the weight loss to anything at all. Just say, oh, I don't know. Yeah, I have lost some weight and just go on. But if you're going to No, yeah, have loss of weight and just go on. But if you're gonna go on the jab and dramatically lose, you know, 40 pounds, and you have the hollowed out cheeks and the sagging skin and all of the markers that everybody can see,

and then you get to your Instagram page and it's like, my new workout regimen, diet are crushing. That is just fraud. It's fraud. And it's not helpful to other people. Like, I think it would be motivational for someone to go, God, you can do the jab and then I can get there and I can start exercising and start changing my diet. I don't think there should be any shame

in anybody who wants to do the job. I don't either. I don't know why people associate with it. Okay. Last one. All right. The last one is from Kendall.. Hi me mom, blessica. I love you guys. I have absolutely adopted your shotgun method to going out to eat but when trying to do that I have discovered a new habit and that's when you sit down at the table and the server goes have you ever been here before? Yeah. Unless they're gonna put on a performance or have some sort of extra experience going on, which I would like to forego, then I know how to read a menu and I know how to place an order.

I don't need you to walk me through every step like I'm a toddler. Right. I have a brain. So that frustrates me. And it just adds time and doesn't allow us to do the shotgun method. Anyway, that's all. Love you guys. Bye. This is a great point. I can't believe we haven't brought it up. We have been remiss. Totally. And not mentioning this. And I'm going to tell you what I do. Whenever I'm at a restaurant and I probably, I mean, I've never been there

before in my life. And maybe it's the second day for it to be open. And the waiter can come over and say, have you ever eaten here before? I always say, yes. I do too. Is this your first time? Nope.

I do not want to go through all of that. And I think that all of this stems from these round table meetings where we're scrambling jets, we're circling back, we're putting stuff in the parking lot, taking it out, and somebody's like, I have a great idea. Let's expand the experience and let's ask the diner if they've ever been here before and then we can allow the waiter to tell them the history of the restaurant. And I have a hot news flash. You need to put that back in the parking lot.

Turn the jets over to Trump's FAA because this is a bad idea. This is a bad, bad, bad idea. Nobody, nobody, nobody wants to hear this shit. Now, I take that back. There are some people that like a lot of this chit chat. They do. They refer to a couple of episodes ago. We presented concrete evidence, a study that we found on Instagram. Right. But it's very concrete because then we aired it. Right. And it confirms our own bias. Intellect. Yeah. That people who dislike small talk have higher IQs. So dumb people like this. And if you want dumb diners, then you go ahead and do that. But if you want smart diners, and I

would think smart diners probably lead better tips because they know how to calculate the percentage for the tip. Right. Absolutely. Yeah. I just here's the thing. I everything about a dining experience, I value efficiency. Telling me when you opened and that Grandma Joe designed the menu, that is not efficient for me. Take my food order, give me my food, give me my check, let's fucking go. I oftentimes really try to do everything I can do to avoid hearing the specials. Agree. I scour the menu and I think I want to find something on this menu so I do not have to hear the description of what the specials are for the day.

And so if I find something on the menu, and like if I'm with you and you and I will both find something on the menu, Josh is the same way because we're all firm believers and executors of the dining shotgun method. And they're like, would you like to hear our specials today? Nope, already have a, already ready to order. Already have it, but thank you for asking. The number one thing to do, this is the clutch move of all clutch moves,

is when the waiter comes over, drops silverware, and they're like, what can I get you to drink? You have to immediately intervene and say, we're actually ready to place the whole order. Always. Always. Okay, I'll tell you what, this just reminded me of another great habit. I've had it with people that you dine with that the wait staff comes over and says, I'm ready to take your order. You guys ready to order?

And the person says, I need a little more time. Shut the fuck up. Have your order ready. It's not that hard. Read it, digest it. And I'll tell you, I have somebody in my family, my youngest, he always wants more time. So I will look at him when we sit down and I was,

I'm like, pick out what you want before you talk. Make sure you have what you want. We are not asking for more time when the waiter comes over. Absolutely not. We're ordering immediately. The problem with asking with more time is just how vague that statement is. The waiter then subjectively can assume

that's 10 to 15 minutes and or could assume it's one to two minutes, and they come back over and they're like, we told you we need more time. And then whoever's doing this when you're out with other diners, like I make a very big point. Like if this is my menu,

you know, here's my menu for those watching. I make a very big point to close it very dramatically and set it down. Put it away from you. Like that I'm ready to order. So my fellow diners that I typically don't dine with know that I'm not fucking around. You're signaling.

I'm signaling, a nonverbal signal. But now, you know, the great, the beautiful thing about getting older is now I just say, if like I'm going to lunch or dinner with somebody that I don't typically dine with, I just put my hand over and I am starving. So we need to order ASAP. We've got to hurry. I just go ahead and advocate for myself right at the top of the meal.

I think that's a great idea. It's a great way to handle it. Stick with us for more hot takes. Because we're lifestyle coaches. We are dining coaches. You know what? We really are good at dining. We are so fucking efficient. Okay. Aside from your hit legal firm, Meemaw Me Curtain Law, we could have the donning of a Beaver coaching services. How about restaurant coaching services with coach Angela Don Beaver? No, here we go. Angela Dry Beaver. Here's our shirts. Here's our merch. Let us coach your beaver. Don't you think that's good? Because it kind of sounds sexual. You got a double entendre there. So, and then do you spell it? No, no, no, no, no. Wait. Do you

spell it? We'll teach you how to eat beaver. If we're dining officiant, you know what I mean? We're going to teach you how to eat beaver efficiently. Come to us. The dawning of a beaver. Boom. We'll teach you how to eat beaver. Like we're the beavers. We're going to teach you how to eat beaver. Like we're the beavers. We're going to teach you how to eat beaver.

We're going to be restaurant coaches. Oh my God. All right. This is descended into chaos. As always. And potty humor, which is our default setting. My apologies and please subscribe. Send us voice memos to our Instagram.

Because these are all great. They're fantastic. Make sure you post mean stuff on the internet about the Trump administration. Troll the shit out of these people. Great burner accounts. Troll the shit out of these people. Fuck with them. Go hard in the paint.

Don't take your foot off the gas. Pumps tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that. Listen up, patriots, gay triots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped.

It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind. Pumps, pumps, what does an eagle say? Cacaw!

A little bit more enthusiasm. Cacaw! That's it. That's, that's, Cacaw! That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.