I've Had It - Fear& Humiliation

Episode Date: January 30, 2024

Today, Jennifer and Pumps prove there's no faster way to their heart than getting full-on ghosted. Hasan Piker, Austin Show and Will Neff sit down with the girls to talk about gatekeeping NFL fans, the decline of X (formerly and forever known as Twitter) and old couples grandstanding in public. Austin and Pumps also form a full-on karenmance by bonding over their love for great service and demanding excellence. Come see I've Had It live on the Hot Sh*t Tour! More info & tickets available at https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast and subscribe to I've Had It wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you to our sponsors: LolaVie: Unlock Jennifer Aniston-approved hair at lolavie.com. As our loyal listeners you'll get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use code [Hadit] at checkout. ZocDoc: Go to Zocdoc.com/IVEHADIT and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps Special Guests Hasan Piker: @HasanAbi   AustinShow: @AustinProductions   Will Neff: @WillNeff 

So we supposed to start the podcast. Ready? One, two, three. Think clap. Yes. Right. You're a passenger. Okay, welcome to I've Had It.

This is probably going to be one of the most humiliating episodes of our entire life. We have ever recorded simply because about six, eight months ago, my son calls me and he's like, Mom, Hassan Piker's talking about you on his stream. And I'm like, who is Hassan Piker and what is his stream? Right, what is all that? And so we find out and then I watch it and I'm like, he loves us, therefore I love him.

Right, we love him. It was just, it was that transactional for us. And so then it's like, we're inviting, I've had it ladies, cause we're ladies to LA. They're going to be on our podcast. We love these people. And then we were ghosted. Yes, we got broken up with.

We got butt hurt and we instituted the white girl break up. Yes. And we placed a ban on the fear and podcast. This is a temporary lift of the band. The band, it is a trial run to see how this goes. We'll have to have a meeting afterwards when we get back to Oklahoma City to see if the band will be lifted forever. But before we introduce our guests, I'm Jennifer.

I'm Angie and we have with us, Hasan, Will in Austin. Yes. And these guys do this thing called Twitch for our listeners that don't know. I have been paying Twitch a lot of money for many years because my children- Pay me?

Yeah, for Hasan. Literally paying me, which I did not know, thank you. Basically for our listeners that don't know, these fellows engage in major indoctrination of young minds. And I appreciate it so much because there are so many kids that live in states like ours in Oklahoma City or rural America. And all they know is what their parents tell them and what their schools tell them and they

get this other world view. And I think it's incredibly, incredibly helpful what you all do. Yes, well, thank you. We appreciate it. You're welcome. I don't want to be too positive though, because that's not the premise of this podcast. So, Pam, why don't you tell us what you've had it with?

Okay, what I've had it with, and it just happened when we landed in LA. This woman gets on, you know, you have to leave the terminal, you get on a bus, and you ride to get your baggage claim or to your car. This fucking woman had her FaceTime out with her, you have to leave the terminal, you get on a bus, and you ride to get your baggage claim or to your car. This fucking woman had her FaceTime out with her like two and three year old kids, and she is baby talking,

which I'm fine with the baby talk to a kid, and she starts missing the iPhone FaceTime in front of all these people. I'm like, fucking stop it. Wait till you get in your car, wait till you're by yourself, go in the bathroom. Like nobody wants to see that. Yes, go in the bathroom.

So I've had it with these people. I've had it with toddlers, I've had it with everything. I love that. You know, one thing we've noticed in LA is we really haven't seen children in our four days. Yeah, which is cool, right? It's fantastic. It makes it a much better place.

We've afforded four days. Yeah. Which is cool, right? It's fantastic. It's awesome. It makes it a much better place. We've afforded them all. Yeah. Yeah. Plant B for everyone. Plant B coffee. Okay, let me tell you guys what I've had it with. Okay, slow walkers are an especially egregious

gripe of mine. Okay. But when you have slow walkers that are a pair and they're holding hands. And they're blocking the sidewalk. This is fatal. This is a massive violation. If you're gonna be a slow walking couple,

you have to go single file. You cannot hold hands and snails pace it down the sidewalk. That is not part of the social contract. I've got things to do. I'm not a lollygagger. I don't want a pussy foot. I want to steamroll down the sidewalk as quickly as I can. We were behind these old people at the hotel.

And they decide to hold hands. Which I thought, that's interesting that they've been together that long and they want to hold hands, but whatever. That might be heartwarming to some. I was somewhat annoyed by it. I was irritated. Yeah, exactly. Why are you bragging?

There's no way they like each other. That you're someone they've been married to long. And then they're slow walking and I'm just, I mean, you're trying to dart to get around them. And it was just like, I hate old people and these people, not to be ages, but in those moments, you know, you can just really hate. Get the fuck out of the way.

Yes. Never have. No old people, no toddlers. That is that is the California dream. You guys would love it here You would absolutely love it here. Okay. I want to go down roll call. Oh, you want to go first? I think I'm ready. Okay. Let's hear it and I'm gonna make them at ease by jumping in. Okay. I've had it with NFL fans Because recently they've been pretty fucking gatekeeping. Oh yeah. Taylor Swift has brought a lot of new fans to the NFL. And I remember being a new NFL fan.

My uncle played in the NFL and it was very scary for me because if you've never watched football before, there are a lot of fucking stupid rules like a safety or offensive pass interference that take a while to adjust to. And I like the new fans coming in. We got fresh blood, right? Right. Right. like a safety or offensive past interference that take a while to adjust to. And I like the new fans coming in. We got fresh blood, right? And they've been very gatekeeping. I've seen a lot of people on X or Twitter say like,

oh, I can't even watch football games anymore because all these Swifties are enjoying football. Fuck you. They're watching the same dumb sport you're watching. Let them have fun. Let them enjoy it. Yes. I think that's interesting.

I'm gonna dovetail off of that because I've had it with Twitter. Oh, absolutely. It is something that I have finally said, oh my God, I can't stand this anymore too this week where I think since Elon Musk took over, I mean, this is a bit of a cliche at this point, but like since Elon Musk took over,

the website has been forcibly, like by far force turned into this like right wing forum. I agree. Yeah. And it's just not even good content overall. Like I am someone who's fascinated with right wing commentary. I love looking at the hogs in the wild, you know? And that's what I call it.

I call it hog watch. Like I love dressing up like a right wing guy and, you know, larping live action role play, but it's, it's, it's just awful. If it's the dominant narrative all the time, everything on the timeline is just like, CCTV footage of fight videos. And then like AI generated content from like the historian that is just basically like a video that they found and repurposed. They're just, you know, fake information. And then so much racism.

I don't even use it. So much racism. It's unbelievable. And homophobia. It's awful. It's unusable. Like it's just so. It used to be gay porn. Now it's just homophobia. I just found It's awful. It's unusable. Like it's just. Yeah, it used to be gay porn. Now it's just homophobia.

I just found out the other day you can watch porn on Twitter. What? Yeah, I had no idea. You could always go to Ted Cruz's liked tweets. That's right. Yeah, yeah. Ted Cruz. I realized something and this is amazing factoid.

Men are age, right? Around, I would say around 35 is the cutoff now, 36. The percentage under that age that have Googled the word boobs at one time in their life is almost a solid 100. I've Googled boobs and I'm gay. Yeah. One of my passwords is boobs.

Yeah, really? Why did you reveal that? What is your- No way. See, we are just alike. Yeah. Password, I'm the worst. One of my passwords is boobs. Yeah, okay.

You have to figure it out, folks. That's bad. The first time I told my money manager my passwords for stuff, it was a humiliating day. What, that- They were all disgusting sex acts. That's wild. That's wild.

Yeah. I'm gonna tell you guys what I've had it with. Okay, what is it? I I travel a lot Okay, almost every week. I'm on a plane. Yeah, mostly coming to this podcast perpetual. I've had it With motherfuckers. Can I curse on this? Yeah, absolutely cock suckers Okay, don't celebrate. Okay. Yeah That don't know how to exit an airplane in an orderly fashion. I agree that don't know how to exit an airplane in an orderly fashion.

I agree. It is row by row. You wait patiently, people grab their bags, you exit like a normal human being, not like an animal. I was in the first row of a plane last night. I got up to grab my bag and was steamrolled by three people behind me that could not exit the plane. It is the most annoying thing I have.

I'm so, I can't stand it. I have shoulder check people. Oh really? I like that. Yeah, I've shown that old couple that you saw. Yes. Well actually, speaking of old, this was an elderly woman who was struggling

to get her bag down. You shoulder checked. No, no, no. Really? No. She was struggling to get her bag and people were trying to go past her, so I shoulder checked. No, no, no. No, no, no. She was struggling to get her bag and people were trying to go past her. So I shoulder checked.

The person. The person that was trying to go past her and I helped her get her bag and then I body, I was a body shield as she walked up the gate because that's how we should respect our elders. I've had it with people that don't know how to exit a plane in an orderly fashion. It's awful.

It's awful. And it's a problem. It's awful. It's awful. And it's a problem. It's a huge, we need to make it a drug. Where are you going? Exactly. In the back of the back. Like just wait.

Where are you going? That is exactly true. I also think with air travel, there is a lot of pre-boarding fraud going on where there are no oversight. Nobody is checking. It's like families with small children and then you see like teenagers boarding with their parents

and people that need special assistance. And you see some like Royd guy, you know, who just snorted a bunch of creatine in the bathroom prior pre-boarding. And I'm like, is there any oversight in this? Or we just... Well, he might be military. Yeah, he might be a veteran.

That's right. We accidentally... Which also, I don't think they should get priority either. I'll say it. I think it's, I think they should. I think it's wheelchair and that's it. Same with parking. I think we're getting too many carve outs for people.

If you are sincerely disabled, then you should have a preferred parking spot and preferred boarding to the plane. Beyond that, but here's something fascinating we found out in doing this podcast. And y'all need to start checking this. Okay, so as you watch the pre-borders, count the wheelchairs on.

And then when you get off that jet bridge, count how many are waiting. It's always less. They call it the Jet Bridge Jesus phenomenon. People are faking being disabled to pre-board and getting pushed onto a plane, they get in their seat, and then miraculously they walk off the Jet Bridge. Oh my gosh.

And I, a lady told us that came to our live show, that's a pilot, she told us this, so I've been doing it. The first flight after that. So you're faking a disability? No. No. Nice. So I counted seven wheelchairs on our flight

after this show. Seven disabled people go on. When I got off the jet bridge, three wheelchairs were waiting. Yeah. Four people were scamming the system. You need to confront one of these people with a hidden camera.

It's a great idea. Where's your wheelchair, bitch? It's just, the problem is like, Stand up! The problem is like, you do run into the issue that like, they could actually be the same. Right, that would be my problem. I'd go do that to somebody that really,

like has an amputated leg or something and then I'd be the biggest asshole. But, I mean, I, if they, but if they do them, they would probably need a wheelchair on the way out, right? Yeah, but how do you know? But you don't know. You don't know who's who. You don't know who's taking the wheelchair.

There's no oversight in this. We need, there needs to be a regulation. This is where your impumps is flirtation with tyrannism. See? Yeah, come in, come in handy. Jesus. We can checkmark the people. Yes, we need to do this.

I do that for Stolen Valor. I'm like, if you're a vet, like I need to see your credentials. I'm sorry, you're a veteran. Okay, which wars did you fight in? And even then, I'm like, you shouldn't get pre-bored. Can I pose something about the unloading and loading of a plane?

Yeah. Why don't we fucking board from the back to the front? I agree. Great idea. Because I paid more. Oh my God. I'm just kidding. I'm sure this is actually a very real reason.

No, no, the reason is they want to give first class more time to give them an extra incentive. Yes, they want to give people, number one, the incentive, number two, they want to give people, there's limited in space, typically. They want to give those people, but I agree with you. Yes. And it also makes a lot more sense. It's a lot more efficient.

The airlines would probably save money too. I'm curious what the cost analysis of the efficiency that they would, the efficiencies that they would have boarding that way and how much they thought this through the loyalty program. I'm sure they've thought it through. Like they probably they cut corners on everything. I'm going to tell you why. They want the stowage to walk through first class

and see that piece of life. Yeah. So that they're like, I want that for myself. Yeah. I'm gonna do it next time. You want to aspire to- Yes. First class for pinching everything though.

Every, it's getting worse now. No warm nuts anymore. No, no warm nuts, no hot towels. You are the same. Oh, I love the hot towels. No hot towels though. No hot towels. Plastic cups, what the fuck?

Yeah, I hate it. I want some crystal. What is this, a barbecue? You know what I mean? See, we're the same. Do your podcast viewers know that you're a Karen? Oh yeah, I do. A white hat, I want to inform them, but you're a Karen? Or a white hat?

I want to inform them that you're a white hat Karen. I'm doing it for the good of humanity. Because you stand up for, you stand up, we, we, we band together. And we find those people that are- We make a change. A real change. People say Shay Guevara was a white hat Karen. Your regulators.

Yes, we went in- When he went in and fought along side, you know, in Africa to liberate African nations, like that's what he was doing. That's almost what we're doing with him. I want you all to explain to us, I have no idea what this is. We'll have no idea what this is. What is a self-suck incident?

Oh my God. Okay. Okay. All right. So, I... I think I should, I can't, do you want to tackle this? Or do you want me to tackle?

You're the one that dies in them all. You're the one, yeah, you are the most self-self-centered. Did you guys say that I died in one of those when I left? Yes. We said it about cutie too. Yeah. It's a long, this is a long running joke where we,

we have many guests of the pod and part of the reason we do that is so that we have the flexibility to miss episodes. A long time ago though, we were talking about sucking your own cock. And various members of the podcast admitted that they have tried or succeeded. All men have tried by the way. Yes, all men have succeeded. Or really did suck their own cock. All men have tried, by the way. Yes.

Or succeeded. Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes.

Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes.

Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes. Or succeeded, yes. said he died. Was that I had sucked my own cock to death.

And someone on the internet posted an in memorial to me that my 93 year old father found. No. And he reached out to me and was like, Will are you okay? I'm seeing this. And I was like, wait, someone's saying I'm dead. And he's like, yeah, and they're saying

that you sucked your own cock to death. So this became our go-to excuse for whenever someone misses. The pod, they've passed away in a tragic self-suck accident. Right, right, yes. Which it started with Will, but evidently all of us, Hasadin has never missed a pod. I'm never, because I don't die when self-sucking. He's the only successful.

I'm able to survive. Yes. Survive is self, you know, I have to say, I don't know that that is a thing with women. Do you know anybody who's tried to Self-munch, self-munch. Eat their own vision. Self-match, no, I don't know any self-munchers.

I'm gonna look this up, is there any, it would have to be tough, you'd have to be a contortionist. Right, there's nothing coming back at you. Or Gene Simmons' ask with the... Right. Yeah, I've never even thought about it. You'd have to definitely take out a couple ribs like Marilyn Manson.

Yeah. Which is a lot more sophisticated. I don't know what it's like to eat pussy. He doesn't know anything about vagina. I don't really know much about it, but I imagine it's a lot more intricate and sophisticated. So it takes a little bit more, not only is it hard to stretch that far,

but the detail or the orientation of the detail. You know, I'm point accurate. I think this would make you like strange bedfellows with like Speaker of the House of Mike Johnson, Ted Cruz, I don't think these men. No, they don't. They know anything about a wedding. I realize how much in common I have with straight men

is my lack of understanding of a vagina. That's right. But you know the difference between us is, between me and straight men is if I were to have to be with a woman, I would put forth the effort. You're right, Daddy. Put some effort in. You want a yourself stop?

He's a liar. He doesn't. He's a liar. You wouldn't. I would totally. I'm a real service top. You are. Oh, I like that.

Yeah. So for all the viewers here, this is my gay friend, Hasan Piker. He loves men. I don't care. I'm not sure. Whatever. See? Yeah.

So confident in his sexuality. You said your dad was 93. Yeah. How old was he when you were born? 60 oh god math got a math. Were you an accident? No, I wasn't an accident. I call myself a half court shot. Oh From a different marriage and then my mom was much younger than my dad and They met on a plane and they had a 20 year whirlwind romance He thinks that you were a Viagra baby. Oh

No, my dad is my dad up until he broke his fumer recently, but right up until then Reports that he had a diamond cutter. He was just a real coxman. Very viral man. So respectfully, how do you get that information? Mom and I are, we have a different relationship. We're very open. My mom and I too, so I get it, I understand. I don't think my dad is one of those like Ivy Leaguers who would just have too much pride to take Viagra.

So he'd just play with it. He would just will it. Yeah, he'd just watch eight hours of women's limb dick of women's volleyball. What do they call that when you just limp it into the squeeze it in the woods? Soft sir. Squeeze it in the woods.

Soft sir. A perfect hate and soft sir. I love that. Oh, it's the worst. Oh, just so you've experienced this. Yes. Oh, her ex-husband was so extraordinary. Oh my gosh.

So there's this great story when she's married. They've been divorced for a long time now, but she calls me and she, God, he always wants to have all my children, days of our life sex. It's so ridiculous. We have to start by French kissing. What is all my children days like?

Like where you start French kissing. French kissing and making out and it's long. Soap opera sex. Soap opera sex. You don't like the foreplay? I don't want to French kiss my ex-husband ever. So, oh my God. Wait a minute, so he was your ex at this point?

No, current husband. Current husband. So she's telling me that she's having to French kissing and they're having sex and he just can't, he keeps soft serving after soft serving. And she's like, this is gonna have to end. So she says, why don't we just do it from behind? So he flips her over, seals the deal, lift off, right?

So then for about 36 hours, we'll get to that. We get 36 hours later and he's like victory laping, telling her for the next day and a half, boy, you really love it from behind, don't you? So this was like 20 years ago. So now all the time, anytime sex comes up, I'm always like, yeah, pumps really likes it from behind. Which really, it was just an efficiency thing.

Right, it was an efficiency thing. She wanted to raw dogged. She wanted to raw dogged to land the plane. She knew that that would probably make it. So take it over the top. So was it never enjoyable it to land the plane. She knew that that would probably make it, take it over the top. So was it never enjoyable? Maybe in the beginning, I think.

Thank God I got pregnant really fast, really? Yeah, before we got married, I think it's always better before you get married. Yeah. Marriage doesn't sound great. No. No. Is it? I'm not a fan. I love my husband.

We've been through a lot because of his addiction. And there are times where I hated him massively. But I love him. He's great. He's pretty gay like you all are. I mean, like total Metro. Awesome, I love that. We've progressed and he's awesome.

And I enjoy him so much. We like to do the same shit. We're both really shallow. And so my marriage to him right now is great, but marriage is one of those things like with anything where you go through like peaks and valleys. And here's the thing that is not advertised about marriage that really fucking pisses me off.

If you're fortunate enough to grow up and you have your own bedroom, you have your own bedroom from like zero to 18 and you have your own bedroom, Maybe you have a Jack and Jill, you're only sharing it with one person or maybe you have your own in-suite bathroom. And then you go on and you have some college roommates and then you're independent again

and you have to live by yourself. And then you're forced to share a bed, a bathroom, and a closet with somebody. And that really pushes what I think human beings are able to tolerate. God, you are spitting facts. My girlfriend streams out of our bedroom. So there are so many times I have to get ready

like a fucking prison inmate in the back of her. Like she'll be on camera and I have like a towel and I have to put on underpants like underpants. Yeah, yeah, I feel disgusting. Well, you just need to buy a new house though. Yeah, fuck it. Yeah. Give her her own bedroom.

It's your sharing so much. And then sometimes you go, I remember like how in love you are in the beginning, you're fucking like rabbits, it's great. And then like a couple of years into marriage, you look over and you're like, I can get this person to breathe. Yes.

Right, I don't want to share oxygen. But then a couple of weeks later, you're madly in love again. It's really schizophrenic. Isn't it? Yeah. And you have periods where you're not. It's the same thing with kids. Did you see the secret?

Would you say this? Life partners. We can avoid all this. Well, yeah. We're gonna get heterosexual and gay married. I love that. I was gonna say it. I think, do you think the secret is maybe

having a sense of privacy, which is like virtually impossible after knowing someone for 10 years, but still like, you know, maybe not farting in front of your partner or something for as long as you can hold it. Absolutely. Yeah, no, no, but it's just like.

I keep those sorts of things private because I think you know as a heterosexual female that men, you always kind of have to keep an allure of what to keep that kind of spice. Like I don't want just rip in front of Josh. Yeah. And ever. Is he ripping in front of you?

Sometimes, but because I'm, but I was kind of, I mean, yeah, sometimes he does, but I would say the secret is this, like for Josh and me, he is an atheist. I'm an atheist. He's incredibly progressive. I'm an atheist. He's incredibly progressive. I'm incredibly progressive. We both live in Oklahoma City. So the pickings were very thin to find that time. And so we like kind of clung onto each other. But then

we both, I mean, we like the same shit. We like to hate the same shit. We like to love the same shit. So those common things and the sex can kind of weave in and out of it, you know, or sometimes you're really attracted to each other and this sometimes you're gonna go through a dry spell but having things in common, like where when we go on a trip, I'm like, we like to do all of the exact same shit. Whereas pumps, if we gay married,

she wants to watch MSNBC 24 seven, 365. She switches to the Midas Touch. And she thinks Ben Myselis is her boyfriend. She notices when he gets his hair cut. And like we're in Vancouver on the hot shit tour. And I'm like, we're in Vancouver. Let's go walk around. Let's go shopping.

And she's like, oh no, I gotta watch Ben. But if Josh were with me, like would be at Prada doing totally shallow shit together. And would feel like good people. You know? It's awesome. I love that my God, he is gay. And would feel like good people. You know? It's awesome. Yeah, I love that. Yeah.

Well, that's amazing. We played tennis together, pickleball. So yeah. Oh my gosh. Do y'all play pickleball? Yes. I'm a bad football guy. So I'm a racquet sportsman.

I played squash in college. I was really good. My dad was actually national champion at one point in his last three scrimmage. He almost went to Cornell with a scholarship. Yeah. Wow. And then I played, I was also a tennis pro growing up. I played tennis. What are you like a five oh? Not anymore. Not anymore.

But pickleball, you know, I kind of like my friends were playing at creators and I was like, Oh, this is fun. I'll get up and I start beating ass. Yeah. Okay. So this story, I don't think I've ever told you. I forget who you played pickleball with, but I remember someone telling me that they had no idea that you were like a racquet Smith, I guess. Yeah.

And they were like, yeah, we were just like, we played pickleball pretty competitively. And then we asked Will Neff to come join us one time. And he apparently brought his little dog Farley with him. Yeah, and I played a 1v2 set. Yeah, he plays guys who thought they were good And I held my dog the entire time and I just man. He was they were like it's insane. He just held his dog Well, one of you two in both of us is abusive. Yeah Well, one of you two in both of us. That is abusive.

Yeah. That is a fucking sex right there. You like went to the pickleball court and chose violence. Yeah, there wasn't a dry seat in the house. It was very... It's so funny that they, because they had no idea. And I was like, yeah, he's like a racquetball pro. None of this surprises me though.

Will is one of the most incredible athletes. Anything you could put Will Neff in, he'll be the best at it. Like he would be, like if he was gay, I wouldn't, there would not be. I would suck him with a rascal. He would suck me under the table. You say that about Will, but you still think

that I couldn't out fuck you if I'm gay. No, of course not. You'd throw out a hip or something. That's insane. That is, that is unimaginable. That is unimaginable. It's about after the first pussy. This is false.

You haven't experienced it. You've been fucking pussy for too long. You are a parade. You have no idea. You are afraid, Will backs me up on this anyway. You're afraid of what I would do. Also, you exceed the weight limits of most twinks in West Hollywood.

It doesn't matter. It does not matter. They're fragile. They are very fragile. You would snap multiple and two. We have a lot of twinks. We have a lot of twinks boarding your plane. It does not matter. They are very fragile. You would snap multiple in two. We'd have a lot of twins. We'd have a lot of twins boarding your plane.

The reason why he gets this defensive is because he is afraid. He is afraid. Okay, I think this is not our pod. Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh, no, we love it. No, we love it. Okay, I'm so sorry.

So what, you think they're afraid of your gayness? You're unlocked gayness? If I was, one day, if I took the magic homo-sil pill that we are trying to invent that turns you gay, that allows you to enjoy having sex with men and find men sexually attractive, I would outfuck him. I would outfuck him onto the table and he is genuinely afraid.

I don't know. He's so worried that like, you're so worried that every time I post a photo, this is something that maybe you ladies don't know about gay men, but apparently they're fascinated with armpits. Yes. Do you think you like armpits?

No. Really? No, a pig eye. I love armpits. A pig eye? We were recently in Salt Lake City, we did a live show there, and there were all these ex Mormons

that came to like our meet and greet. And they said, you know, cause Mormons are constantly trying to not have vaginal sex. So they're, you know, they're docket, don't rock it. So, well, this E.R. nurse said that this, they would get like STDs in their armpits and like behind their legs. Cause that's where they were fucking.

Jesus. Yeah. Tell them the story about that. How did they get the STD in the first place? Well, because somebody broke the rules. Somebody broke the fucking rules. Somebody broke the fucking rules. Somebody. How do you go back to it?

I don't know. I have to do that. I was gonna say that. How do you, we need to find this person. Somebody, but at least that's the best part. So she tells us that one night an ambulance comes to the ER and it's a guy that had been docking, which is no movement, you're just like looking at each other.

And the girl sneezed. So he had an orgasm. He called an ambulance and called the police accusing rape and demanded a rape kit. The guy did? The guy did. Wait, she didn't want to move a rip. She sneezed and he was like, don't rock it.

And she sneezed and I guess it made her kind of do it. Involuntary Kegel, he orgasms immediately and he's so freaked out by it that he lost his virginity that he calls 911, goes to the ER in an ambulance and demands a rape kit. How does that work? Can you imagine that ambulance ride? This guy just sitting there blankly in the ennemy.

I was right. Do you want like a foil towel or something? I, like, what court of law would that work in? Has she been in prison? She was immediately arrested. They're in Mormon jail. You would have to institute like some Mormon like Sharia law style situation I threw in Mormon jail. Yeah, yeah. You would have to institute some Mormon

Sharia law style situation where the only punishment can be dished out by God at that point. Right, but can you imagine this guy, I mean, how big of a pussy. Yeah. You would feel like the remainder of your life, that guy is never going to enjoy an orgasm. No.

He's never going to engage forever. Anytime somebody sneezes, he's like, ah, yeah. He just remembers the kegel. That's his kegel. He loves to be sneezed on. Yes. Yeah. That's cool.

I think it would have created up. Maybe a suction. Yeah. It's small. I think it was a kegel. I think she did an involuntary kegel. Interesting. Yeah, and it pinched his penis.

What is a kegel? Is that where they squeeze you? I'm doing it. We canel. Interesting. Yeah, and it pinched his penis. What is a Kegel? Is that where they? I'm doing it. We can do them together. Are you doing it right now? You can do anal Kegel. So we're gonna squeeze our pelvic.

Everybody squeeze five, six, seven, eight, one. Am I releasing now? Now you just kind of, You keep, squeeze and release. Squeeze and release. Three, four. I'm doing it. You can do dick Kegels too.

How do you do that? Really? I'm doing them right now. Yeah. There's a. Kegels are hard for me. Dick Kegels. Yeah. There's a muscle that you can go boing, boing, boing, boing.

Oh yeah. It's the same thing that you use to like stop the flow of pee, I guess. And it's like the same muscle and you can do that. Never heard of that. I'm doing it right now. Yeah. I'm doing them too. Do you suffer from having a parasocial relationship with two I'm doing them too.

Do you suffer from having a parasocial relationship with two barely competent middle-aged women? If so, please go to ivehaditpodcast.com or to any social media site I'm talking ex, formerly Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, etc, and click the link in bio. And come see us at the Hot Shit Tour. Make your parasocial relationship real at the Hot Shit Tour. Right, pumps, tell them. It's so fun.

We hope to see you there. Ha ha ha. Listener, this episode is proudly brought to you by Lola V, an award-winning hair care line founded by the fabulous Jennifer Aniston. You know, hair so iconic, it needs no introduction. You know, Pumps, Jen, aka Jennifer Aniston, she got tired of the same old struggle we all face, choosing between hair products that work and ones that are actually good for us. With low LeVe, that delimit is history. Don't you use their detangler?

I love their detangler. It makes a huge difference when I style my hair. I also love the perfecting leaving conditioner. Those are two of my favorite products as well. And here's a treat for you, our listener. For a limited time, you can get 15% off your entire order at lowlovee.com. Just use the code HADDIT at checkout. I mean, if you're taking hair care advice, why not listen to the woman who introduced us to the Rachel Cut and then just recently introduced us. Hello, full circle moment. Unlock Jennifer Aniston approved here at lowlovee.com. As our loyal listener, you'll get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use the code HADDIT at checkout.

That's 15% off your order at lolavie.com. Be sure to use that promo code HADDIT. Please note, you can only use one promo code per order and discounts cannot be combined. After you purchase, they'll ask where you've heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. You know, Pym's, when you get cornered by that awkward family member

where you really can't tell them the exact truth about your life because they're so judgmental. Absolutely. Everyone has a few in their family. It's so miserable, but you know what? That should never happen, that awkwardness, when you go to visit a doctor. Enter ZocDoc, the place where you can find and book doctors who will make you feel comfortable and actually listen to you.

ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. Once you find the doc you want, you can book them immediately. No more waiting awkwardly on hold with a receptionist. And these docs all have verified reviews from actual real patients. I use this and you should too. Go to ZocDoc.com slash I've had it and download the ZocDoc app for free. Then find and book top rated doctors today. That's ZOC, DOC.com slash I've had it. ZocDoc.com slash I've had it. at zockdoc.com slash I've had it. So Austin, is there, I was just thinking about this. You know, like one of the smartest things I think

about Uber is it's the last test to where the customer is rated back. You know, like we all worry about like our Uber rating because that's really a window to like how you're performing. And I'd like to see your and Pem says, considering you're both Karen's. In the gay sex world, is there any sort of like rating thing on Grindr?

You know, where you can leave reviews. There's not, that'd be interesting, but to my knowledge, there's not. I mean they- I feel like that would get catty. They're definitely, I think in small circles, people get reputations, certainly. What's yours?

I hope, I think it's selfish, Dopp. No. No, like, not to get too vulgar here, but I love to me, like in all seriousness, he jokes, cause he knows I'm a service guy. It is so important to me that my partner is having pleasure to a point where if they're not, I'm out. That's a game I know you're gay right there. That's how I immediately know you're gay

because for men, her husband performed horribly, soft served, time after time again. She had to create a scenario to get, to make him take it over the finish line because we know she likes it from behind. And then he took a victory lap for 36 hours. That's crazy. That's how great he was.

He was one time. Yeah, no, that is. Because I know you and I are both service trades. I love that. Okay, we're gonna play a game called Had It or Hit It. Had It or Hit It, okay. Okay. Oh my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It.

I would hit it. Had It. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. All right, nicotine gum. Hit it. I hit it. Had it, never had it, never gonna have it. Have right, nicotine gum. Hit it, I hit it. Had it, never had it, never gonna have it. Have you ever smoked?

Never. Indifferent, cause I've never had nicroic. Really, have you ever smoked? Yeah. And you just cold turkey quit it? I'm just like, if I'll have a few beers, I'll go outside and smoke a dart, a delicious drink. So you guys have to go together.

Yeah, they do. And those types of, Pums and I were smokers. Right, like we solved a lot of problems, serious about it. And the people like you who could just, I'm a serial killer, like have a beer or two, have three or four cigarettes. That is insane.

I don't know how that happened. My girlfriend gets really mad at me because she vapes. And when the vape is gone or out, I live my life, I'm fine. And she's like, how are you not thinking about buying another vape? I'm like, I'm fine. It's very frustrating. I have a totally anti-addictive person.

You know what? I don't wanna be disrespectful, but you guys, I feel like in order to, you guys would be sexy smokers. Thank you. Thank you. I'm serious, like you- We thought we were.

Tom, Dennis, we were cool. We were like, we were cool. No, I'm serious. We crushed it. We crushed it. Yeah, Marvel needs to hire you guys for an ad campaign. No, it's hot. It's hot. It's it needs to hire you guys for an ad campaign. No, it's hot. It's hot.

It's hot. Not all people look sexy when they smoke, but... We thought we did. I used to make fun of vapors. I was like, when I only smoked, I was just like, fucking vaping is not cool. Smoking is what the cool people do. Vaping is not still not cool.

No, it's not. Smoking, very cool though. You're the reason why smoking was cool, I think. Yeah, I'll never forget. I went to her house. Our kids were super young and she had the flu and she's like, I need for you to come over and bring me something. So I brought her something. I meet her on the side of her house and she's got this huge fur coat on in the suburbs of Oklahoma City.

And she has like 103 fever. She can barely talk and she just whips out this sick and I go, why are you smoking? And she goes, well, I can't get non-addicted. I didn't want to get like stop smoking while I was sick. Yeah. Now I was first thing in the morning, coffee and a smoke. Yes, he coffee. That's it. That's the deal. OK.

All right. Had it or hit it? Stanley cups. Had it. Hit it. You were hit it? Or like so? We're the same person.

We're the same person. Yes. Hit it, I don't mind. I like the Stanley Cup. I love a Stanley Cup. I like a Good Yeti Cup, unless it's a controversial thing, you can't like both.

I like a Great Stanley Good Yeti. I think we're perpetually as a society dehydrated. Right, I think it's hydration theater. You think so. It is the ultimate thirst trapping, I've had it. Now, we need to carry around a goddamn receptacle like this piece of shit right here with your podcast logo on it.

I think that's Marches, right? That is a Stanley Cup. I know, I love it. Yeah, I've had it. They drive me fucking crazy. Everybody going bananas at Target, acting like goddamn vultures, and then schlepping around these cups all the time.

Look at how hydrated I am. But they are though. I've had it. They're hydrated. We're so hydrated. I think people are drinking too much water. We're peeing clear. We're peeing clear.

Always. I think it's water theater. You're right. I don't think they're drinking all that. I would say hit it. But I would say it because Stanley Cup is just a receptacle for a new niche in the population, right? Hippies have now jeans.

Fucking bros have yeti. They everybody now has their receptacle. And I'm on board with women having hydro flask and Stanley. This is their corner of the market. Wait, dude, I have a stock. Come on. Yeah, I think I was the women's. Like the gates.

I think I think Stanley Cup and I saw us on Twitter, but I think Stanley Cup is a signifier that America has no walkable cities because no, like it is literally a product. What? It is literally a product designed for the suburbs. Like because it's so massive that like there is no way, like think about when we go to Europe and we have to like

You know walk around a lot take public transit all the time when we're like doing stuff I needed at my desk, so I'm not That's what I mean It's a product uber to your sink our houses are huge Like the point i'm trying to make is that yes, it is a indoor The point I'm trying to make is that, yes, it is a indoor receptacle. You cannot have a Stanley Cup if you are on the go. If you live in New York, it's a very difficult thing

to just like, lower all down. That is true, because I've tried. And I think- You're also underestimating though the mouth feel of the straw. I think that was the first thing that drew things, people, the hydro flask is like the water taste back. Right? It's like a Mexican Coke. There's something about that glass bottle that just sets it off

Yeah, there's something about Stanley water. Well, Mexican Coke is because it's not high fructose corn syrup Those help yeah, I agree with that. There's something about the mouth feel of that Stanley straw. It is a great straw It's a great size. It's a stress reliever. Were you the gay one or which one of you listen? I Took him to West Hollywood and he did all that. He taught him everything he knows about being gay. He took me to West Hollywood, he took me to the Abbey, he went to the ATM, slapped down $100 and $1 bills, and he guided me through tipping my first stripper.

You also, I love that. That's a good friend. Yeah, it was great. Thank you. He hasn't been with me since, but yeah. Bullshit. Bullshit. Once or twice. No, he's about five minutes. He's a he's a well has been a better ally than his son. Thank you. Yes. No, I'm a better ally because I always try to tell you that like there are better upscale gay institutions that you could frequent and not like the entry level that all the bachelorette parties are held at

because it's like you're going to like the Disneyland version of gay. Yeah, I love Disneyland. No, that's what I mean. It just sucks. Like I don't like it. He won't go. I don't like it because it's like it's grimy.

He wouldn't go on my birthday. I did go on your last birthday. Sorry. Okay, back. Had it or hid it? Cats. Oh. Hit it.

I. You are gay. Yes, are you, have you had it? I've had it with cats. Yeah, I've had it. Hey cats. Stop breaking up. Shit.

We're not gonna break up. We're gonna work through it. We can work through this. Yeah, okay. We can work through this. Had it, 100%. Hit it. I'm a massive dog person. I think, I talk about through this had it 100% hit it. I'm a massive dog person

I think I talk about this quite a bit obviously like look I am leftist and there's a thing would left this in cats I don't know my community. Everyone's a cat guy Vladimir Ilyich Lenin cat guy. Okay, so that's a thing people love cats in in the space that I frequent I think Cats are they're too hot and cold. It's like, I don't want a shitty roommate, you know? I don't want a shitty roommate that I, that like, I can't pet all the time or like, the shitty roommate comes over and is like pet me.

And then I start petting and then he's like, okay, I've decided that this is no longer fun and I'm going to go zero to 100 and start clawing you. I'm like, what? It's an abusive relationship. Cat is having abusive relationship with her pets. Okay, last one. So I think we're all obviously left leaning.

Yes, for sure. We all obviously know the pitfalls of capitalism. Yes. I think everybody in this room has been able to excel at capitalism. When you can excel at capitalism capitalism you get to buy nice things So had it or hit it? designer drip

Had it really had it. I don't care. I've never really care about me I don't care either. I don't care as long as it I think designers. This is maybe controversial I don't care as long as it I think designers. This is maybe controversial especially amongst these two I think I went to I every time I go shopping. I see designer drip. It looks ridiculous People were ridiculous and I look ridiculous when I wear designer things. There are certain pieces like is Gucci designer Yeah, so I got like a Gucci necklace. What's the hell? Sorry? I don't know see I don't know But they I think certain pieces are nice, but like some people, they look ridiculous. I've had it. I don't care. As long as it looks good, I don't care what brand it is. You do like to fly first class. I do. Well, I'm your hotel. No, no, he's a busy bitch. He's a busy. Love the turn.

I'm in a deep bowl. Oh, essential. No, no. How'd you read that? We've only known each other for an hour. Hey, essential. No, no, he's 100% in the bougie business. How'd you read that? We've only known each other for an hour. Hey, I mean, you spot it, you got it. Do you like that though? I can love, yeah. We're all gonna get along. We're hotel snobs big time.

Oh, we gotta talk about it, but. Okay, it's hard right now. Had it or hit it designer drip? Oh, I hit it. When I was younger, I loved was younger, I, I loved like all of the brands and fashion. And I would like even sometimes like design my own like jackets and stuff. Cause I used to draw a lot when I was younger and, um, you know, all of these brands, like I would always want to acquire them when my parents were like,

of course not. Like what? That's crazy. You're not getting it. I remember like getting like fake hand me down, Nike's and everyone making fun of me, even though like my family was very affluent growing up. Obviously I went through a period of independence where I was, you know, financially very unstable. But in the beginning, my family was very affluent and they still would not spoil me. So I've always been fascinated. I think like fashion is an important way of expressing yourself. You absolutely don't need designer drip at all.

However, I do like it. I like the craftsmanship that goes into it. I like the effort that goes into it. The seams, the lines, it's art. And there are definitely like a lot of fashion brands that, in my opinion, will have much like your favorite musician, not all of the songs are going to be bangers in the album. Some of them you listen to, some of them you're like, oh, this sucks. A lot of fashion houses, especially if they're following trends or if they're rebranding,

will go through a period where they have a lot of misses, right? But when you find that one piece that you've been looking for, and it fits you perfectly and it makes you feel awesome and you can respect the craftsmanship that went into it and all of the materials that were sourced and you just envision it, I'm basically describing commodity fetishism by the way. But yeah, I mean, it literally is and it makes me feel good and I hit it.

Love it, okay. For myself, I've had it. But hear me out. For myself, I've had it just because I can emulate most of the trends that I want to more affordably. Almost everything I'm wearing right now is MX DVX. He was wearing MX DVX earlier, which is a relatively affordable brand.

So a lot of the designer stuff on men, I don't love it right now, but hit it for women. I don't know what happened to me, but I love shopping for my girlfriend now. Because she's not big on designer, but I fucking love it. Like I recently got her an Alexander McQueen bag with brass knuckles on the top. Yes, I have that one.

I saw it and I couldn't put it down in my mind. I was like, that's so fucking hot. And all I could think about was like me carrying it, but then I bought it for my girlfriend because it's next batch. And I love it. Cross-dressing by proxy. Yes.

Do you get upset that like men's even designer stuff is so entirely limited? Yes. And then you look at the women's section and you're like, there's so much cool stuff. Aloe, I'm talking to you. Fuck you. Women's shit is so awesome

and your guy shit looks like divorce dad trash. Yeah. Every time I go shopping with my girlfriend, I'm like, oh my god, this is not fucking good. Oh my god, this is not fucking good. And then I go to my stuff, it's like, it's all gray. It's all gray in its bag. It sucks.

Fuck you. It sucks. I hate it. We need more variety in menswear. It's so awful. I wanna dress like a professional wrestler. I wanna dress like a professional wrestler. I wanna dress like a professional wrestler.

That's it. I want feathers and sequins and just fucking. I experienced this when I have two sons, when they were little and I love to shop. And I love, like Hasan, I love the artistry fuck it. I experienced this when I have two sons, when they were little and I love to shop and I love, like Hasan, I love the artistry behind it. I imagine it starting as a sketch and then they source the fabric and all other knockoffs are made

from those big fashion houses and then it comes down to different brands, H&M, whatever. Yeah, like Devils are proud of it. Zara, yeah, exactly. But when my kids were really little, I'd go shopping for them and I'd walk into the the baby gap or something.

And the girls' clothes would be so cute and they're all on one side. And then look over to the boys and I was just like, Trash. Total garbage. Yeah. I think that's it, guys. Wow.

I can do one more, had it or hit it. Let's do one more. All right, last one, had it or hit it, Taylor Swift. Ooh. Controversial, hit it. Will is a people pleaser, so he's gonna give you the most people pleaser answer. I will be the honest one.

Okay. Okay. I've had it. Ooh. I've had it with Taylor Swift. Every time Cutie's not here. I've had it with Taylor Swift. As a person who doesn't even consume it.

And I think a lot more people are going to have it with Taylor Swift eventually because there's overexposure. There's too much overexposure right now. It happens with every trend. You know, Taylor Swift sneezes in the, in the direction of something and it becomes a trend partially because she has the most powerful constituency on the planet, white women, especially white women and some gay men, but definitely white women.

And women are, I think, responsible for 85% of everything that we consume. They purchase 85% of the things purchased in the United States of America. You guys know this? I didn't know that yeah Insane number right with that's crazy very powerful constituency Taylor Swift has it has it locked down. Um, I appreciate everything. She's doing it's great. I love it However, I think the overexposure has gotten a bit much. I don't mind the NFL stuff. Like you said, she brings a new audience to the NFL.

That's wonderful. But I do think that that overexposure is going to inevitably start tanking her brand even. I think he's right. I'd hit it. I'd hit it. I don't really have any strong opinions though. I'll give it to you.

What's yours? Hit it. Taylor Swift. Okay. Had it. Swiftie. Excellent answer. Excellent point answer excellent nuance there Taylor Swift in and of herself She buys into this to a certain degree, but like at a certain point who doesn't want to be a billionaire

So, okay, there we go now that the second part of it is Swifties And I think particularly young people right now That the fanatical nature of them is almost like the same level of buy-in that you give to a psychic, right? A lot of Taylor Swift's music has elements of a cold read, where they are life moments that are like non-specific to anyone, and so they are specific to everyone. And so many young women hear this music and they go, this is my story, the minutiae of my life is important, that breakup is important, my sweater, my, I feel shitty about my first relationship too.

And I would urge those women, it's okay to have those security blankets and to want to feel seen, but at the same time, write your own 1989. Get out and don't live fanatically through someone else's life. Have interesting stories about yourself that make people wanna gravitate to you in the same way. I think, yeah, they live vicariously through her.

That was brilliant. That was brilliant. That's really insightful. That's really a psychic cold read thing. That's exactly what it is. Yeah. He's the hot one, he's the gay one. I need to be the interesting one.

You're the smart one. You can be the smart one. Hey, you know what? I've never been known for my brains, that's for sure. I have a college degree. That may shock you. It doesn't shock me at all. You know, Pops is an attorney.

Well, because I'm not the brainiac. I don't know how to say it. Doesn't shock you? No, not at all. Really? I think all of you all are very smart. Oh, really? Thank you.

That's the first time I've heard that in a while. I'm going to hit Taylor Swift because she is energizing GeneXer's registered vote. No, I'm in. Oh, I like that. We need all the help we can get. I'm with you. I think our takeaway today is the budding

lesbian relationship between pumps and Austin. I think we're gonna go, I think we're gonna phone bank together for just, I think that's what we're gonna do. We might lift the band permanently. If fear and came to Oklahoma, we'll take you to a Thunder game. Yeah. I'll be bored.

You go look at these pothole covers. OK. Make an IG story. There was a method to our madness, right? We knew what white women love the most. Being ignored complete. You're exactly right. That's it. And that is it. It works like a short lab.

Ignore me, I let plate us like a fucking fiddle. You wanted this bad, so we had to commit. We had to be effortlessly cool and not caring too much. That's how it worked. Well, you pulled it off. We did, thank you. Okay, listener, what we're gonna do is, I think we started a cult on our Patreon. It's called the Cult of the Titty Mamas,

where the Titty Mamas. I think I'm already in. The members of the Cult of the Titty Baby. So we'll talk to them about where, this has just been a temporary lift. This temporary. We'll report back and let you know what the results of the ban.

Depending ban right now. We gotta talk to the Titty Babies, where the Titty Mamas. But thank you guys so much. Thank you, it was so fun. It was so fun. It was incredible. Thank you so much.

Yeah, thank you for hosting us here in your house. It's fabulous. Oh, this is your house, but anytime. Any time. Any time. All right, how can our listeners that don't know about Twitch, don't know about all this crazy-eyed shit

that you'll do, how can they find you? Um, I'm live every day, often from 11 AM Pacific, uh, at twitch.tv slash Hassanabi. It's like YouTube, but for live streaming, um, I do a news broadcast for around eight to 10 hours every day. Psychotic. Yeah. It's pretty crazy. I have a, you never see him.

Hassanabi is the, is the the is my username on most platforms, except for on Twitter, it's Hassan the Hun. And that's it. That's where you can find me about you guys. I host shows sometimes on Twitch. I'm coming out with a new show coming out with a new show called In The Tub with Austin show where it's me in a bathtub. I haven't worked out the details yet, but then it's going to expand into a traveling show where I go to other people's bath. You can find it on my street.

It's called In The Tub. By the way, you're doing that show with me. And so are you, where we're in your bathtub. And we're doing a show in your bathtub. You're kind of like it. I like it. I get it right away. I'm Will Neff.

I'm a former comic. And now I do like a film class and kind of a little stand up on my switch every night at 7 PM West Coast time. Fuck yeah. comic and now I do like a film class and kind of a little Which every night at 7 p.m. West Coast time fuck yeah, that's amazing. Yeah. Yeah, and we're the fear and podcast We're three out of four of us. You can find us on YouTube fear and that's where we we're missing our lovely beautiful cutie Cinderella Yeah, yeah Female energy Three it would have been it would have been too much. She didn't make the know that. Yeah, too much female energy. Yeah. Three to three, it would have been too much. She didn't make the cut unfortunately.

We're misogynistic. Yeah, we are. That's what our talk is about misogyny. Yes, absolutely. And homophobia. That's right, which makes it uncomfortable for her and myself. Oh yeah, so uncomfortable and homophobic. I like to be gay bash.

Absolutely. It's my favorite. Okay, Pops, tell them we will see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both. You guys are amazing!