I've Had It - Gold Star Gay Dads

Episode Date: February 27, 2024

Jennifer and Pumps are joined in studio today by our good friend, Brian Patrick Flynn. The three discuss crop-dusting innocent bystanders in public, forcing babies to wear bows twice the size of their... heads and the infinite abuse of wedding photos. Brian also shares an exciting announcement with the girls. Come see I've Had It live on the Hot Sh*t Tour! More info & tickets available at https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast and subscribe to I've Had It wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you to our sponsors: LolaVie: Unlock Jennifer Aniston-approved hair at lolavie.com. As our loyal listeners you'll get an exclusive 15% off your entire order when you use code Hadit15 at checkout at https://lolavie.com Lume: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get 15% off ALL Lume products with promo code HadIt at LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod ZocDoc: Go to Zocdoc.com/IVEHADIT and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Vegamour: Elevate your hair wellness routine this year with Vegamour. For a limited time get 20% off your first subscription order by going to VEGAMOUR.com/HADIT and use code HADIT at check out. Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps Special Guests Brian Patrick Flynn: @bpatrickflynn

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 So we supposed to start the podcast. Ready? One, two, three. I mean, it's gonna be a great day. It is. Oklahoma City, because we have a guest who's blown from Atlanta, Georgia. AKA HotLana in the home of Fonnie Willis, which is my favorite part of it. I love the way she spelled her name. I do too. She's a bad bitch.
Starting point is 00:00:25 The HGTV star, Brian Patrick Flynn is here in Oklahoma City. I went to dinner with Brian and his husband, Hollis last night in Oklahoma City. You got his name right. That's right. Yeah, that's really impressive. I've got a still-trap memory. I believe it, for sure.
Starting point is 00:00:42 Yeah, still traps right here, Brian. I do not. And so you kind of toured around Oklahoma City a little bit yesterday. What are your thoughts? I was blown away. So there's, there, until yesterday, there were eight states I hadn't gone to
Starting point is 00:00:54 and Oklahoma was one of them. And then I just reached out to you randomly. I never, I really just asked you to have dinner. I really wanted to come knock this off my list and you're like, you want to take the podcast? And I thought, I thought you were kidding. And I was like, yeah, but I'm not, I don't want, I really just want come knock this off my list. And you're like, you want to take the podcast? And I thought, I thought you were kidding. And I was like, yeah, but I don't want, I really just want to have dinner.
Starting point is 00:01:08 But like, so this is like a total treat. Well, we're so glad you're here. It's always fun to have it in studio guest. Yeah, the energy's better. It is. It's better. It's totally different. But what we like to do, Brian, is just kind of do
Starting point is 00:01:19 some petty grievances off the bat so the audience can kind of release some frustration. And so Pam, she go first. what have you had it with this week? Okay, what I've had it with and your dog, my precious tabs is the biggest defender. If I can crop dusting, like people or dogs that walk by you, let a silent fart and your whole nose starts like running, the nose hairs fry off. It's so bad.
Starting point is 00:01:46 Yeah. And it's not just, I was in the airport security line not long ago, and a guy walked by me and tested me. And I was just like, Oh my God. And the line wasn't moving and I couldn't move. And I was like, my eyes were watering. It was so terrible. Okay.
Starting point is 00:02:00 I remember this. I can't remember where we were, but we were traveling for our tour and you and Kylie don't have TSA and I have TSA. So y'all were in a different line, but we kind of pass at some point. Like the TSA and the non-TSA's pass and Pumps has this like look on her face. And she whispers as loud as she possibly can,
Starting point is 00:02:20 which when Pumps whispers loudly, it's almost like a yell. She's like, this guy just crop tested. And the guy standing right there, and she's like hovering pointing down at him. And I was like, oh boy. Yeah, no, it's bad. I just think it's so rude. I almost would rather somebody be like,
Starting point is 00:02:37 I just farted, I'm so sorry. I would just be like, you know what, it happens. What would you do in that instance? If you, I mean, to be honest, what would I do? I would crop dust. Because I wouldn't want to, I mean, you know, if you announce the dusting, you're in the TSA line, rotten egg smell starts permeating.
Starting point is 00:02:55 Do you act like it's Kylie or me, or do you just announce to everybody in line that you just crop dusted? Here's the deal. If I would have thought about it, I would blame it on you. But I, like I would have thought about it, I would blame it on you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha silent act like I didn't do it and probably like smell a little bit and be like, and I would act like I had nothing to do with it that I was up. I was with them and they're discussed.
Starting point is 00:03:31 How would you handle that? I really hope this never happens to me. I think this is why people fly private. I first of all, the fact that this is a thing is blowing my mind. I'm glad that I haven't experienced it yet, but I don't, I don't really have an answer because my mind is trying to comprehend. I don't know what I would do. I don't even know at that point haven't experienced it yet, but I don't really have an answer because my mind is trying to comprehend. I don't know what I would do. I don't even know at that point,
Starting point is 00:03:48 what if that person ended up being the one assigned the seat next to you? Because you have to make eye contact with them again, and that's not a good thing. I hate this whole thing. It should never happen again. But see, Brian, here's what I'd like to do on an airplane. I like to act like I'm invisible,
Starting point is 00:04:02 and everybody else on the plane is invisible. There's no eye contact. There's no, like, if we're both and everybody else on the plane is invisible. There's no eye contact There's no like if we're both have the arms on the armrest. It's like neither one of us have an arm I mean, I just completely act like I'm in my own bubble and no one else exists. Oh, man We are we are flying soulmates. I don't want any eye contact now same with bathrooms like I'm sorry I also when I'm using the plane I I use because I fly so much and I'm so tall, I always get upgraded to first class, so I'm not bragging, it's just I fly every week.
Starting point is 00:04:29 What I love is when you're, I usually fly Delta because I'm in Atlanta, there's only like six rows in first class, and usually what I love is when you're getting up to go to the bathroom, you're facing the bathroom, not looking at people. One of my biggest stressors is when you face up and you walk towards the back of the plane
Starting point is 00:04:42 and people know, hey, they're headed to the bathroom, and they can count down how long you've been in there. And it's like the countdown of shame. So this, I understand we're going with this and I have a lot of thoughts on it, but I'm like you, I like to be invisible and I want everybody else to be invisible and don't make eye contact.
Starting point is 00:04:56 Yeah, Kylie, our producer intentionally dehydrates prior to flying. Yes. So that she doesn't have to use the restroom. And we went to London a few months ago dehydrates prior to flying. Yes. So that she doesn't have to use the restroom. And we went to London a few months ago, and she did not pee the entire flight from, where did you fly out of?
Starting point is 00:05:13 Houston? Houston, yes. Houston to London. She did not pee. Not one time, that's how dehydrated she was. But I remember this. On the flight back, she did. Yes.
Starting point is 00:05:21 She had one. Busted out. That's right. So I told you, I'm like the Michael Rappaport of the I've Had a Podcast. So I know how to spell her name correctly. It's not like Jenner, it's K-I-L-E-Y. That's right.
Starting point is 00:05:31 So, and she's from Stillwater, which I'm aware of everything. Like I watch you guys watch and listen to you religiously as well as Heather McMahon and then also the Dax Shepherd podcast. Those are the three that I listen to. See, this is what I want to talk to our listeners about. Sometimes they're lackluster listeners
Starting point is 00:05:49 and they say stuff like, how did pumps get her nickname? Why has pumps lost so much weight? So the last several podcasts, I've just started off, welcome to I've Had It. It used to be Angelina Pumpkintina, then it was Tina Fuller Pumps, now it's Pumps. She's basically injecting Monjero. Every chance she can get.
Starting point is 00:06:06 Right. Hence the weight loss. Because they just ask us over and over again. Cause I think we have some lackluster listeners, but your ambition and listening to the podcast is nothing short of exemplary. Absolutely. It's a five gold star situation.
Starting point is 00:06:20 I really appreciate this. I've been working really hard. Let me tell you guys what I've had it with. Since you're an interior designer. Yeah. And I'm an interior designer. I Let me tell you guys what I've had it with. Since you're an interior designer, and I'm an interior designer, I'm going to tell you what I've had it with. Please. The color of the year.
Starting point is 00:06:32 Oh, I didn't know that was a thing. It's a lot to know about. Like, and then to, does anybody, do people ask you like your opinion or like, hey, what's the color of the year so I can have it in my house? So sometimes if I have to do press, the journalist will be like, and what do you think's the color of the year so I can have it in my house? So sometimes if I have to do press, the journalist will be like,
Starting point is 00:06:46 and what do you think about the color of the year? And my answer is, I think it's irrelevant because you want to choose things that have longevity. You wanna choose a paint color that has longevity. The color of the year is only gonna be that color for that year, and then it's gonna be replaced 365 days later. The baby Jennifer Welch designer would have chosen the color of the year
Starting point is 00:07:11 and got leaned into trends, but the more sophisticated, mature version of myself, I want to pick things that are in the house that are going to age well. So I avoid the color of the year and I've had it with the color of the year. I think it's a racket. I think it's capitalism on speed. I want nothing to do with it.
Starting point is 00:07:32 And when it comes out, I'm like, fuck that color. So funny. We're so different on this. So I prefer, I have a favorite color, color that I've been using my whole career. But one of the things that, one of the things I appreciate about, especially like when Pantone comes out and does like back in 2015, there were two colors of the year for Pantone. It would one was one was like a periwinkle and the other was kind of like a
Starting point is 00:07:50 across between blush and purple. And I thought it was interesting that there were very specific colors, but what I do appreciate about it and what it can do is I think sometimes those people that are stuck in the box of beige, their mind opens, opens to, Oh, I can use coral tones or I can use turquoise. And I think it pushes people out of their comfort zone, but I see your point, if it's of the year, it's like at what point, but I also,
Starting point is 00:08:10 I think it is smart to get people thinking outside of the box, but I can, I understand, I see your point of view. I get excited about it still now. Because a lot of times it's one that I use, because if it's something that I use a lot, because I don't do a lot of beige, I do a lot of black and white, when somebody comes out and starts using like a mustard
Starting point is 00:08:24 or even like, let's say a khaki that has a little green in it and I just use it in a room, I'm like, finally show people this color can be done well. I see both sides of the coin. I like it. I like your optimism. Okay, so who does the color of your pans you said? Pantone.
Starting point is 00:08:38 Pantone. And then what is like the 2024 color? Do we know yet? I don't think Jennifer or I know because I think most fashion people do it right away because it becomes something that you want to capitalize on because it's not out there. So it's usually a color that's been missing from the masses. So then they will put it out in fashion and usually interiors fall right behind. Do you agree?
Starting point is 00:08:54 Yes, I agree. Do you think it's the other way around? Yeah, I agree. I had no idea there was a color at the year. So what have you had it with? Email anxiety, which is a word that I started started to coin because I understand that email from the beginning was meant to, it's very efficient. I love it.
Starting point is 00:09:06 But now when I'm out in the field, I don't want to look at email on my phone. Do you agree? Totally. It needs to be on my laptop or a desktop because I can fully respond. When I have to truncate and read an email while I'm on the go on an installation,
Starting point is 00:09:21 taping something, shopping for something, my brain can't switch to, hey, let's focus on giving them a really well researched answer. And I've had it with that because I want to do one thing, but nowadays we have to do seven things at once. And I can't, it started under age me. I'm 100% with you on that. Yesterday we filmed a lot for the podcast.
Starting point is 00:09:37 And when I have to, my brain, I am best when I am thinking about the thing that I'm about to do. And Kylie came downstairs and she was like, okay, let's prep for, and it was for a one o'clock filming. And I was just like, I can't do that. I have to get the eight o'clock filming out from under me. And then after that, I'm all chips in on the one o'clock filming, the one PM. I can't, and so I'm with you.
Starting point is 00:09:58 If I'm on an install or I'm meeting with clients and I look at my email box, I don't even really like to return emails that much from my phone. I like to do it from a desktop or laptop because I feel more engaged with the email. Plus, I'm just not a big fan of constant communication all the time.
Starting point is 00:10:13 I don't want to be available all the time to everyone. I've noticed that with your Instagram. Like, so I follow you on Instagram, but I think Kylie does your Instagram, right? Assist. I would say the majority of what I post, like, unless it's posted of my kids, I think Kylie does your Instagram, right? Assist. I would say the majority of what I post, like unless it's posted of my kids,
Starting point is 00:10:28 Kylie's sent me the stuff to post. I'm not 100% on all that. I'm for that though. Do you agree, Jennifer? I think it's pretty cool that she's like not doing it because I hate that it's become part of my daily routine. What's the return on the investment for me to look at my Instagram 16 times a day?
Starting point is 00:10:41 Right, no. The great thing about the podcast is Kylie runs the I've had at podcast, the TikTok, all the stuff. And so our personal Instagrams, we don't really try to promote that much because we're just promoting the pod more. So neither one of us are these prolific Instagramers. Now I enjoy Instagram because there's a lot of things that I look at interior design wise.
Starting point is 00:11:04 Uh, there's a lot of, that I look at interior design wise. There's a lot of dog influencers. Great joy. There's a lot of travel stuff. There's a lot of tennis videos. There's a lot of pickleball videos that bring me great joy. Specifically, I've really enjoyed these dog influencers because I've had it with people influencers. Oh, I think we've all had it with people. I followed Samoyed and this guy, he's been to like 40 countries.
Starting point is 00:11:27 Samoyed dog? Yes. And he smiles. Big white dog. He's traveled all over. He's everywhere. This dog and I is one of my favorite follows. So I'm really into the dog influencers right now. Like if a person did half the shit the dog did,
Starting point is 00:11:42 I would hate that person's account, yet I would probably spend some time looking into every individual post that I hated. Right, when I get over to the dogs, their grandstanding, show-boating, this one dog is traveled more than I have in his short life and I have nothing but joy for him and all of his adventures and I I would even say, I like following his journey. And we all know how I feel about journeys. You don't like journeys. No, but when it comes to a dog,
Starting point is 00:12:11 they get to do all the shit that drives me crazy with humans. I'm with Jennifer. And I also think that a dog is welcome to end its name with EIGH. And it wouldn't bother me. You know what I mean? I agree. The dog was Ashley. It spelled that way or Brontley. I would be like, you know, it's cool. You're a dog. You're a Samoyed. You've been to 40 countries. You can spell your name how you want. And it wouldn't bother me. You know what I mean? I agree. The dog was Ashley. It spelled that way or Brontley.
Starting point is 00:12:25 I would be like, you know, it's cool. You're a dog. You're a Samoyed. You've been to 40 countries. You can spell your name how you want. And it's cool. Braxley. Braxley.
Starting point is 00:12:33 Braxley. That's beautiful. I promote that. B-A-R-K-S-L-E-I-G-H. All right. Let's hear. Brian, we like to have Kylie read comments about our podcast to us since we want you to weigh in.
Starting point is 00:12:44 So, Kylie, what's going on on the World Wide Web? Since you brought up the Husky, I'm gonna start with this five star review we got called this podcast has ruined me. I've been listening to this podcast for about six months and I can confidently say these two have changed me for the worst. For example, this entire time when pumps was speaking about shaving her
Starting point is 00:13:07 Siberian Husky, I truly believed it was a metaphor for her vagina. Oh my God. Oh my God. From now forward, listener, we will always refer to Pumps' Vigine as the Siberian Husky. That is fantastic. Are they still going? That's it. That's it. That's amazing.
Starting point is 00:13:40 Oh my God. I mean, that is amazing. That is incredible. Pumps and the Siberian Husky. Shaved it right out. It could be the name of a porn. It could be. Pumps and the Siberian Husky.
Starting point is 00:13:50 The shaved Siberian Husky. To shave or not to shave. Yeah. And what's interesting, this morning on the way here, I made an appointment for Blaze to be shaved. So are you getting waxed? No, it's really for the dog, but.
Starting point is 00:14:08 That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. It's just not a far stretch either with you two. It really is. And you know what I love about this comment? We've made the person worse. They still give us five stars that they just are are swimming and basking. And what a terrible person we've made this person
Starting point is 00:14:25 right and I admire that she owns it I did cut Kylie did say to us the other day I say a lot of things now out loud I would never have said before I met you guys what did you say what was something to that effect I mutter some stuff when we're out in public about people I'm like I think they're making me worse yeah yeah I think yeah you want to get out of Oklahoma City as quickly as you can Brian I've got three hours to play with you. That's right. You need to run for your life. All right What's next Kylie? All right? I have a comment from alpha 677 and they write these women are proof that the phrase With age comes wisdom is not always true
Starting point is 00:15:02 comes wisdom is not always true. What I like about that is the guy's bio name is Alpha something. Right. Which you immediately know he is a thin-skinned beta male with what pops? Teeny weenie. Yeah that's what you know. Anytime there's an alpha male in the thing you automatically know. Soft serve, Teeny weenie, the worst. Yeah, that's what you know. Anytime there's an alpha male on the thing you automatically know. Soft serve, teeny weenie, the worst. Yeah. But I just give you guys mad credit for including you Kylie for how you handle the comments. I feel like even like back to Jimmy
Starting point is 00:15:34 Kimmel Day is not the other one, not Johnny Kimmel. Who's the other one? Jimmy Fallon. Yeah. When he would do, when celebrities would come on and read their mean tweets. Me tweets, I love that. You truly are laughing at it. Like y'all who are listening, listener, look at me, I'm playing Jennifer's role. They, it is like, it's just incredible how you let it roll off. You seem completely unfazed by it and it says so much about your confidence
Starting point is 00:15:54 that you don't care. You really are laughing at it. I think it's a beautiful thing. Thank you. No, I think it's hilarious and we just get so tickled that somebody would take the time and I care to come hate on us on the internet. Like, I mean, it's just, we're two complete morons.
Starting point is 00:16:10 We agree with half the shit these people say about us. So, yeah. I love this. I just think it speaks volumes about your confidence and the fact that it just rolls off your back because it doesn't matter to you, which is amazing. Thank you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:16:22 I gotta say, I don't really get hate comments, Brian, so. No, Kylie's comments are always like she's got a Fabulous voice. She's sexy Everybody has a crush on Kylie someone did comment and they said I can't believe how old Kylie is. I thought she was gonna be young 27 you look 24 20 that's ridiculous. She looks like a baby, doesn't she? Permanent record. All right, the last one, five stars, titled Simply the Best. Jessica and her old lesbian sidekick are just top notch. I agree with that.
Starting point is 00:16:54 You are, you are old lesbian sidekick. Because Brian and I were talking last night about dinner a lot about the age difference. Brian and I were real close to the same age. How much older you are. It's different generations. Jennifer was saying it's different generations. She was saying we are definitely millennials
Starting point is 00:17:09 and that you're a boomer. And I'm like, I don't think, I think Angie's only about three years older than us. I thought maybe. Yeah, she likes to act like it's five decades. Yeah. It's just, it comes out a lot when we're doing the podcast. You know, she, she brings it up.
Starting point is 00:17:21 She just found out recently what a fluffer was. I didn't know. I know what that is what a fluffer was. I didn't know. I know what that is. And I'm like, I don't know, like a pilgrim when it comes to that stuff. But I know what it was, there was a movie called that when I was in film school. There was actually a movie that was titled
Starting point is 00:17:32 and that was the guy's job. Fluffing. Yeah. Does he, it was it just the, the set listener? Just like, you know, it was just at a hand job. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So the only reason I know that it's because there's a movie called it when I was in film school.
Starting point is 00:17:44 Yeah. I had no idea I was bragging about how I'm a great fluffer because I like to get my Jommies and fluff up my pillows and watch a show. Well fluffing pillows is a thing. So I can see how it could be kind of a term that can use multiple ways. He doesn't pick on me.
Starting point is 00:17:58 That's sweet. If I don't live here, it might be different. Do you suffer from having a parasocial relationship with two barely competent middle-aged women? If so, please go to ivehaditpodcast.com or to any social media site I'm talking ex, formerly Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, etc cetera, and click the link in bio. And come see us at the Hot Shit Tour. Make your parasocial relationship real at the Hot Shit Tour.
Starting point is 00:18:33 Right, pumps? Tell them. It's so fun. We hope to see you there. Ha ha ha ha. Pumps, I can imagine when you get to be your age that you have to visit the doctor quite a bit to stay on top of your health.
Starting point is 00:18:48 How do you manage finding a doctor for each segment of your health that you need to address as you get older? I will tell you, Ginny, ZockDoc. It is the most fabulous app because it lets me shop for great doctors that take my insurance that are located close to me that have positive reviews. You know, I've read about ZocDoc and what I like about it is all of these docs have verified reviews from actual real patients. You can book an appointment with tens of thousands of top rated patient reviewed credible doctors
Starting point is 00:19:24 and specialists. I can imagine that this has just been a godsend for you, pumps. Listener, go to ZocDoc.com slash I've had it and download the ZocDoc app for free. Then find and book a top rated doctor today. That's ZOC, today. That's ZOC, D-O-C dot com slash I've had it. Zoc doc dot com slash I've had it. Pumps. Your hair lately is straight up 10 out of 10. Share with the listener and with me what's going on. I have been using the new hair products created by Jennifer Aniston, Lola Vee, and I absolutely love the shampoo and conditioner. The conditioner is the best I've ever used. You know what I like about Lola Vee pumps is it's all about naturally derived plant-based
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Starting point is 00:21:06 discounts cannot be combined. After you purchase they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Okay so what I want to move to now is with dinner last night. Yeah. I want to give our listener a little background. So you married your husband at dinner last night. Yeah. And I want to give our listener a little background. So you married your husband at dinner with Brian and his husband, Hollis, and y'all get married in 2017 in Antarctica. Yeah, that's really specific. Tell the listener why you wanted to get married in Antarctica because I worship the reasoning behind all of this.
Starting point is 00:21:37 So I was born and raised in Florida. I'm from South Florida from Fort Otterdale, specifically Parkland, which is way out by the ever leads us more suburban. And I'm not a person who likes vacations that have to do with a beach and the sun and the sand. I can't stand sand. I don't like the way it feels. I don't like the way it smells.
Starting point is 00:21:53 I don't like the way I don't like anything about sand. But I knew that, and I'm not a big wedding person. Like I don't like the whole attention thing where there's a bunch of people around. Everybody cares about what they're wearing and somebody is being so super, super plucked to look this way. I don't like formality.
Starting point is 00:22:09 And when I started to think that we'd been together for a good 10, 11 years at the time, I was kind of like, let's get married. And I kept thinking, I always wanted to go to Antarctica because it was the opposite of Florida. And I didn't know you could go there. I just found out, I'd say in my late 20s, it's possible to go.
Starting point is 00:22:22 So after about two years of research, it's really hard to get there. We did it and we got there and we brought a photographer friend with us. And the reason that I loved it so much is like, you know, people spend tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars on weddings for a venue and clothes and the people and the flowers.
Starting point is 00:22:38 And I was like, how cool would it be to just do this as an experience, no formality whatsoever with the most incredible wedding photos you'd ever have because it doesn't look like this planet. And we got down there and it was summer, it was in the 50s, the sun was out, it's like 24 hours of daylight. And I just kept thinking like,
Starting point is 00:22:53 I love the whole like analogy, like penguins mate for life and that's where the penguins live. I love that. I love the penguins mate for life, that's so romantic. That's sweet, I love penguins. And I follow a lot of penguin accounts as well. Gosh, you are so good at animal accounts.
Starting point is 00:23:07 I didn't know that there was. Yeah, there's a whole Antarctica account with these penguins and they follow the penguins and I really love penguins. I love a lot of animal accounts on Instagram, but I think we just kind of, you know, glazed over the most important thing you said is that you don't like all of this attention
Starting point is 00:23:26 and this focus and everybody worried about all of this stuff and this group activity that is a wedding. It's a racket, as you would say. Oh, it is a racket. And we spent a lot of time talking about the narcissism that comes with a wedding that then it detracts from, like it being about the couple, because then you've got, you know,
Starting point is 00:23:45 the mother, the mother-in-law and all of these other forces that be. But you know, this brings up something. We've touched on this in the podcast before, but I kind of want to resurrect it a little bit. And it is when people get married and then they use those photographs for years as fraud, like it's Father's Day. So then the wedding picture with the dad walking on the aisle comes up. And like these wedding photos get blasted for like five or so years,
Starting point is 00:24:16 but in Arctic wedding photos, I would enjoy seeing that. Those are timeless. You know, you're really taking into account, not only your and Hollis's feelings by doing this together, away from everybody, but it was really, you took into account the feelings of all the people that love you by saying, guess what? You can't come.
Starting point is 00:24:34 I think that is not invited. It was a great way to show love. Yeah. You don't have to come. You don't have to buy anything. You don't have to spend money on a hotel. You don't have to worry about getting your hair blown out. Thank you for saying that,
Starting point is 00:24:46 cause I felt like I was saving people a lot of time and effort. You were absolutely. It was nothing short of a love message, both to your husband and to everybody else. And I'm glad that you appreciate pretty photos cause there's one thing to get married at a venue that's like a hotel or something and there's images. There's one thing to go on the beach,
Starting point is 00:25:01 which you know, when the family's wearing matching shirts and all that, I wanted the opposite of all that. I wanted just the background to speak for itself. And the good thing is it was, there's been so much incredible, like there was a lot of support online for us because a lot of people were like, wow, I never thought of going there.
Starting point is 00:25:15 And it's nice to have like wedding photos, a lot of people pin and look at it again and again, just because the backdrop is so dreamy. But I'm with you. I see what you mean. People do the same image for their whole life. And it's like, we've seen that already. Oh my God, it's rolled out. I mean, you know when somebody gets married, their entire Instagram feed for the next three years is going to be
Starting point is 00:25:33 nothing but a slow drip of this wedding. And you've seen, if you've seen two of the wedding photos, it's like, I get it. Yeah. Let's refresh our content. We need to stir the pot here, get a dog, do something new, or you're getting a big mute. Yeah, a dog or a penguin, specifically one that's traveled to 40 countries would be nice, right? That would be so nice. Exactly. Well, and the expense that, I mean, not saying it wasn't expensive, but you have an experience that will last forever. One thing I get frustrated with about how expensive weddings are, it's like, and then it's done. The flowers die. You know, it's just not that nuanced or anything, but I feel like Antarctica, I would be all down with that. That might even be somewhere fun to go. How long did it take you to get there?
Starting point is 00:26:16 It's, well, you're not guaranteed. This is the thing about Antarctica. There's no guarantee you'll even make it. To answer your question though, we had to fly down to Chile and then there was like a 72 hour possibility of us being ready. So we flew down there and then it turns out the weather conditions were so perfect about a day and a half before the day we were supposed to go. We had to be ready that day within like an hour. So we even had to leave like luggage and stuff behind. This was my wedding. So it's chaotic, but the chaos is beautiful because you're going to this place and note on the plan and
Starting point is 00:26:40 nobody goes to, right? But it was about a year and a half to two years of planning. And then it was overall about three or four days to get down there. And then getting back was a lot easier because you stop in Santiago, Chile and then you fly, I can fly directly from Atlanta from there. But I would do it again in a heartbeat. I loved it.
Starting point is 00:26:54 I think it would be fun to take kids there because it's such a weird experience. So I wanna get, I wanna segue next into what you were sharing with me last night. And there's just a huge announcement for you and your husband and for all of your fans that follow your design account and career. And journey.
Starting point is 00:27:13 And journey. And journey. Because there is a manifestation in the works. Yeah, we are eight weeks away from our first child. That is so exciting, congratulations. It's insane, yeah, we're at 30, almost 31 weeks right now. We haven't gone public with it at all because we've been the whole surrogacy process and egg donation process. It's a lot of science and it's a lot of learning. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:37 And so we've kept it really tight for the past two years. We ended up finding an agency three years ago, two friends of mine own it. They started specifically for LGBT people because when they started to go and try to have embryos created years ago, all the paperwork and all the rules were what's the mom's name, what's the dad's name. But it's like, well, what about what if it's a mom and a mom or dad and dad or a single person? So they created this, uh, this agency called, it's called Elevate. It's out of California, which is the opposite of where we live.
Starting point is 00:28:02 It was very far. But the thing was they make it an easy process for same sex couples to be able to go out there and not have to deal with all the weird stuff that, you know, imagine how pissed you'd be if like you were filling out a paper and you didn't exist on it. Like I said, you know, like what's up. We don't, I'm not married to a woman. I'm married to a man. So, uh, and then, uh, so we met them. We knew they were right. And they, uh, okay. I want to, I want to break this down because I think this is fascinating.
Starting point is 00:28:23 I think it's interesting and I think it is such a marvel of modern science. Absolutely. And I think it's amazing for the LGBTQ plus community that agencies like this. So I'm going to ask the questions that everybody would want to ask. Okay, so you and Hollis decide you want to have a child. And so you have to find, you obviously have to go whack in a cup. It's so weird. It's part of the process.
Starting point is 00:28:50 Yeah, it doesn't seem like it'd be something. My nephew recently did this and he had to go into the whack room and there was a straight porn in there. So I'm wondering was there any gay friendly activities in the whack room? I very much am type A with controlling my environment. I am one of those people that if you make eye contact with me,
Starting point is 00:29:10 even though I'm just gonna go pee in the urinal, I can't. Like I can no longer, don't look at me. Stay upright. Yes. So when you go into the room that you just mentioned and there's somebody eight feet outside the door, it's something that's remarkably personal. I agree.
Starting point is 00:29:21 It would be weird. I was like, did you not think about the environment? So A, it is the ugliest room I've ever seen with the most hideous furniture. And then there's a collection of DVDs, which I don't even know how to use anymore. So I had to, basically, I remember going outside and saying, hey, this is not gonna happen.
Starting point is 00:29:35 Like, is there another alternative though? Like, you can do the home option. I'm like, why did you tell us that? We're not at Fred. Yeah, it's similar to, can you, like, especially like when you're a woman and you're donating your eggs, it's super invasive. It's outpatient surgeries or surgery basically But they treat the guy part so whimsically and I'm like no it's a lot more complicated than that
Starting point is 00:29:52 But I don't know I was so creeped out Jennifer that I last in maybe three minutes And I'm like I give up Let's just let these be paul's as embryos because that the room creeped me out so much and the whole idea of the task with a Stranger outside the door. I couldn't deal with it. So I gave up. Okay. So you have, uh, as two gay men, you both, you, okay. First you found an egg donor, right? Okay. So do you shop in like a catalog and look at the images of these people? I could talk about, I love the enthusiasm from all you, even Kylie's like body,
Starting point is 00:30:21 body positioning right now. Like people are genuinely interested in this. Absolutely. I could talk about it for hours, but I'm not an expert because I'm not a scientist and I'm obsessed with science and facts, that's my world. So what I learned about it is there's agencies that do both. That there's one that we're with Elevate
Starting point is 00:30:33 has one side that is all egg donation, one side that's all surrogates are also called gestational carriers. And so the way that it works is I'm fascinated by this. When you're choosing an egg donor, it's sometimes it's a little bit. It's more surface than choosing a surrogate. So you are the first thing is everybody's been screened for genetics.
Starting point is 00:30:52 These people have incredible genes. They weed out any type of hereditary diseases. Okay. That's nice. It's incredible. And then also, I don't think you can be past 31 for most agencies at that's how old you have to be to donate your eggs. So you're still on the younger side.
Starting point is 00:31:05 So when you look, when you're looking through, there's not an actual look. What are you looking through? So you get a password to the site where you get to go in and look at all the profiles. And all the profiles are a headshot of a person and then a number below it. You have no idea where they live, what their name is.
Starting point is 00:31:21 Other ones also do it where you see a picture of just them as a child. So you know what your child will look like, which I think is brilliant. So my mind was blown. Hollis and I, our jaws were on the floor for the first two weeks because he had a specific egg donor he was obsessed with who had never done it before
Starting point is 00:31:34 and the one that I wanted already yielded over three successful children from her egg donation and I'm like, this is tried and true is gonna happen. We knew basically I'm one of three, I'm number three out of four, I just lied. I'm number three out of four. Which is the opposite of what I just said. And Hollis is an only child.
Starting point is 00:31:52 So my sisters both have multiple children and my sisters are incredible moms. My brother is also not having children. So the good news is in my family lineage, it keeps going. Hollis is an only child and his father's no longer with us. He's the end of his lineage. So I thought a really beautiful part of our story being together almost 20 years would be like, we're going to do something that keeps your lineage out there.
Starting point is 00:32:11 So we both decided to make embryos by looking at pictures of the donors. So we're looking at the pictures and you find out like maybe what they do for a living, how many kids are in their family. Okay. But in her case, she was super healthy, is from Ireland, which is kind of important to me because we're super Irish and look at my name. And um, and so- Was her egg extracted from Ireland?
Starting point is 00:32:33 Like or is she an Irish-American? Oh, good question. She has a really strong Irish accent. Okay. She's Irish-Irish. Yes. So how many eggs did her heart went? I know when they would extract eggs from somebody. How many did you get from her before the sperm were contributed?
Starting point is 00:32:52 That's a good, I don't remember. I know that it was a lot. So one of the reasons that you, when you're going for an egg donor, like they, you know, they're going to produce, I, I know, I believe it was more than 10, I think it might have been maybe in the 12 to 14 range, which is legit. And then there's screening. So they, there might be. So then they have your seed and Hollis's seed. And I've heard in the past that sometimes gay men will mix the sperm up. I've heard that.
Starting point is 00:33:17 And then implant and y'all did not do that. Correct. So here's where the myths come in. I thought, so there's something called the game man's special. And it's a term that was used out of nowhere. And a lot of our gay friends and people we know, they'll have boy girl twins. And what happens is when they impregnate the surrogate,
Starting point is 00:33:36 they use one of the guys embryos and another one. And when you have the children, all of a sudden you can tell, wait, the girl looks like me, the boy looks like him. And that's, that would have been our dream too. We would have loved. That's the game man special. Yeah, cause you're having two kids at once,
Starting point is 00:33:49 and then you have one that is genetically from each of you, which is a perfect way to do it. Right, that's great. It's pretty smart. It's brilliant. Except you have to have twins at the end. I know, so think about the gestational carrier too, who's giving birth to two twins.
Starting point is 00:33:59 Right. That's, it's redundant to say two twins. I've realized that recently. But, but so in our case, we ended up with redundant to say two twins. I've, I've realized that recently, but, um, uh, but, so in our case, we ended up with six good ones, five were girls, one was a boy, and then they go through a whole nother round of testing because they are so question. Yes.
Starting point is 00:34:13 How many of the six were Brian seed and how many were Hollis seeds for Brian to Hollis. Okay. For Brian to Hollis. Okay. So then they embed the first embryo into your surrogate who is different from your egg donor. So now at this point, we have, what? I know. Okay. At this point in the game, listener and pumps, Kylie, there is two game in, right? Two sets
Starting point is 00:34:39 of sperm. Gotcha. There is the Irish egg donor. Okay. Where they have taken the eggs out of her body, it's gone to a lab. They've taken the semen, he had to do the homework assignment part, not the in-lab part. And then now they have made six embryos. Four Brian, two Hollis. Now, where are we going to implant the embryo?
Starting point is 00:35:02 Now we have a new person involved, which is the surrogate. Okay, so now you have a surrogate who's not the egg donor. Uh-uh. Now we have another person and then you'll embed the first embryo and whose seed was that?
Starting point is 00:35:17 The first one was mine. So the way that we did it was we made a plan that some surrogates will tell you at first if they're cool with carrying twins. And a lot of them will, we'll say, we are welcome to do two, three, four embryos and hope for the best and I'll carry your twins. There's others that are like, if we naturally get pregnant with twins, we'll have them. And in our case, it was more like, I will only do it if let's do one embryo. So we did. It was my embryo. And the thing that's so fascinating about going with an agency is they teach you all the psychology and all of the counseling behind it
Starting point is 00:35:46 So we were taught I don't nothing about the female anatomy. I've been I'm a gold star gay When a girl holds my hand unless it's like my mom my and I'm like this is weird someone comfortable So I like knew as a kid. I was like straight up. I'm like I have no interest in women So we ended up having we got we did our very first, it's called the transfer. That's when the embryo is put in and then you know about 10 to 12 days later if it took. The plan was let's go back and forth and let's also go by the ones that had, that are rated the highest for a good chance of having a live birth. I had two that were significantly higher in ratings than all the other ones between.
Starting point is 00:36:20 You had gold star embryos. Gold star embryos. Gold star gay. Gold star gay. I'm not a competitive person when it comes to embryos. I'm very competitive. So we decided, let's go with Brian. And then we did. And the good news about it is they teach you the stats and the facts.
Starting point is 00:36:36 And it's like, let's hope for the best. We only made it to about eight and a half or nine weeks, which was really upsetting because that means you're dealing with a miscarriage, which is probably even harder on your surrogate because it has nothing to do with them. It's, it's my embryo. So it had to do with, you know, it had to do with genetics and how to do with science.
Starting point is 00:36:50 And we only, at that point, you're talking about something that is the size of a blueberry or smaller. Well, and miscarriages are very common, right? In all forms of pregnancy. And I don't think that's really spoken about very much, but I mean, I'm, miscarriages are a very common occurrence in the journey of getting pregnant, whether it be natural or through these
Starting point is 00:37:10 ultra-planned scientific methods, which I just wanna remind the listener, this is like the optimal planned family. Like, you know, to go through all of this, you desperately want to be parents, which I think is such a beautiful thing. Okay, so let's get back. So she miscarries.
Starting point is 00:37:29 We are, embryo did not make it as a way that we look at it. Cause we've learned so much about miscarriages from this. Right, she did right, you're embryo did that. Yeah, and the reason we've learned so much about it is, it's never talked about. And like, it is heartbreaking also for the expectant father. And it has nothing to do with anybody. And from a nature standpoint,
Starting point is 00:37:45 it's telling you this one was not going to make it to birth. So, and that's all there is to it. And we had to, we had to like psychologically be like, okay, well, we're gonna have to wait about four or five months and try again. And so the second try was Hollis's and she has just been a gold star. Is it the same surrogate?
Starting point is 00:37:59 Yeah. Yeah, she's with us. So you put another, so now it's Hollis's turn. Yeah. And we're just a few weeks away from, and now, and do you know the gender? Yeah, we're having a girl. I was gonna say, he said she, I picked right up on the sheet.
Starting point is 00:38:12 Now, here's something I'd like to talk about. Okay, can I flip the script a little here? Yeah, yeah. All right, listener, so I'm gonna play the role of Jennifer. One of the things that we were talking about last night is when Jennifer and I had dinner, is I've go by Brian Patrick Flynn, I added my middle name when I became an interior designer as one does, but what I learned last night is when Jennifer and I had dinner is I've go by Brian Patrick Flynn. I added my middle name when I became an interior designer
Starting point is 00:38:26 as one does. But what I learned last night is, so Jennifer's middle name is Denise, which I think is fascinating because I have a friend back home named Jennifer Denise. I think it is. Really? Yeah, she's making art.
Starting point is 00:38:36 Because I don't go together necessarily. They don't and it's not very common. So Jennifer is Jennifer Denise, which I think is a beautiful combo and it sounds very so proper to me. I love it. I think it sounds like a very dignified name, but also I found out that you were Angela Dawn.
Starting point is 00:38:48 So you were like Angel of the Morning. Donning of an Angel. Donning of an Angel, that my mother said, yes. Oh! What's your mom's name? Judy. This is amazing. Yeah, Judy's a mom's name,
Starting point is 00:38:57 just like Susan or Kathy. Linda. Linda Nancy. Like a baby named, there was a whole episode of Kimmy Schmidt about a baby named Linda and it was like that's not a thing That's not a thing right so now that all that to say is the naming process. Yes Whoa, so we both have Irish in our family and we wanted an Irish girl's name
Starting point is 00:39:16 But they're so hard to pronounce that yeah like Sersha like the actress So we were like what about something that you see and is iconically Irish But isn't necessarily an Irish name and we just love the idea of turning Clover into a name. Clover is jolly. Clover is jolly. Oh, it purrs. What about the last name?
Starting point is 00:39:32 We're gonna combine our names together. So instead of, one of the things I've noticed is I think it's pretty chic when people have the dash, you know, like Jolie Pitts and stuff like that. Jolie, Louis, Dreyfus. Yeah, it looks cool and you remember it, but I don't know, I also love over the past few years where somebody, one of my friends, Jillian,
Starting point is 00:39:48 her name is Jillian St. Charles and she married and named Damon Boggess and they turned her last name into St. Boggess, which I thought was brilliant. Yeah, I have seen that. I think that requires a lot of creativity. Yeah, and it cannot work sometimes. Sometimes it doesn't work.
Starting point is 00:40:00 It might visually look ugly. But my last name is Flynn Hisos Smith and you know how there's a blacksmith and there's like a word Smith? We love the idea of one run on word. So it's gonna be capital F and then, so Flynn Smith, one word. So she'll have her own last name.
Starting point is 00:40:12 I love that. Yeah? That is precious. It's really thought out. Like we, there's this Brandy Carlisle song called The Mother and it really, there's some lyrics in it to talk about like, you were not an accident.
Starting point is 00:40:21 Like we worked really hard to make you exist. And we're those people. Like we worked really hard to make you exist. And we're those people. Like we worked really hard at this to make it happen. And like this child's gonna get all of our attention. Poms, how is your New Year's resolution going where you have vowed to Kylie Meand the listener that you were going to smell good 365 days this year? I'm crushing my New Year's resolution because of Lumi.
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Starting point is 00:42:36 slash had it and use code had it and check out. That's V-E-G-A-M-O-U-R dot com slash had it code had it to save 20% on your very first order. I think it's fascinating how the effort that LGBTQ plus couples go through to have children. I mean, you have to really, really want this child in the planning and the amount of time that you have to possibly think, God, maybe this is a bad idea. Maybe I hate my spouse's guts. I mean, you're in and you passed a huge amount of time. And so now you have where a lot of the country, big blue cities embrace this idea of planned families
Starting point is 00:43:31 blue cities embrace this idea of planned families and gay couples, lesbian couples having children in its very embrace. But you have a big part of the country that is demonizing this as maybe quote not a traditional family. And they use that word traditional. I hate that word. I hate it. Even interior design, I hate it. What's traditional? It's not 1743 anymore, things have changed. Yes, I hate that, because I think it's a way to politely in their mind, politely demean people. Because what they don't realize is,
Starting point is 00:43:58 most of the gay people you know came from what would be perceived as traditional families. So gay people are born in traditional families. And I don't know about you all, but a lot of straight people I know have the most fucked up families I've ever seen in my entire life. I agree.
Starting point is 00:44:16 I can't argue with that actually. Do you worry with the political climate? Do you have any worry about having two gay dads and what your daughter will go through? Have you gotten there yet? Or is Atlanta just so big and blue that it's not even a concern? There's two parts to the answer. And in the spring of 2016, we fell, we had done a trip with my whole team, my, some of my closest friends to Iceland after an incredible epic year in 2015.
Starting point is 00:44:44 And we went as a celebration and I whole team, some of my closest friends to Iceland after an incredible, epic year in 2015. And we went as a celebration, and I'm friends with a lot of photographers. And we went over as this incredible experience to take beautiful images, and everybody get their creative juices flowing. We fell in love with Iceland so much that we bought a house there.
Starting point is 00:44:56 We bought a house there on the HDTV show, House Hunters, which was so, yeah, you know that's how it is. So we bought our house there. It was before Iceland became a massive thing. So we bought it before the boom. And what happened is that year, when everything got so divisive, we were like, this is kind of a good backup plan.
Starting point is 00:45:13 It is a super feminist, open-minded country. I mean, gay pride in Reykjavik, which is the capital city where we live. Like 80% of the country comes to Reykjavik to be there to celebrate, because they just look at everything. They look at everything. It's beautiful, and there's kids, and there's business people,
Starting point is 00:45:30 and then there's people to work in the club industry. It's just looked as like, if you're left handed or right handed, it's not different. Everybody is meant to be who they are, and even when you go to restaurants and clubs there, they'll have the gay pride and the trans pride flag out, but you'll see you walk in there and it's everybody.
Starting point is 00:45:47 I mean, it's people, gigantic families, it's people who are senior, people who are young, and it's celebrated as let's let everybody be who they are. And so to answer your question, it does scare me because we live in Atlanta, which is an incredible melting pot. We love Atlanta because it's so accepting. And on our street, we've got all different ethnicities and religions and people from all different, you know, continents who speak multiple languages and there's, there's different generations in one house.
Starting point is 00:46:12 But it does make me nervous when you get outside of those places where you get to being in the South, which are technically in the South or not. It's Oklahoma. The Heartland. We consider it ish. The South. It's culturally the South. It wasn't a part of the Confederacy.
Starting point is 00:46:25 And so that's where it, it's not technically the South, but it's definitely culturally the South and definitely had a lot of racist roots as evidenced by the Tulsa race riots. Which surprisingly, we never learned about in school. We never learned about it. We were both educated in Oklahoma, but it was whitewashed. Whoa, it even kills the flower moon.
Starting point is 00:46:46 But I want to get back to this point that, you know, it is, it's interesting this whole idea of like these two Americas that we have, when you described Reykjavik and just the tolerance level and how accepting and tolerant everybody is there, that to me is Freedom yeah, right everybody tolerates and accepts people Where they are and I see this intolerance and we live in this red deeply red state that
Starting point is 00:47:18 Has banned abortion and there's a lot of anti LGBTQ Rhetoric there is a lot of anti-LGBTQ rhetoric. There is a lot of anti-trans rhetoric. It's very much being marginalized. And so I'm gonna warn you, when clover is born, there is something that happens as a parent. There is this guilt that consumes you all the time that you've never felt before
Starting point is 00:47:42 in your entire life. It's not like, oh my God, I forgot to do this, and you have guilt over this, or maybe you lied to your spouse over something. This is this guilt that just permeates in your brain, and it's ubiquitous from the time you wake up to the moment you go to bed, and you can feel guilty for going to Target for an hour.
Starting point is 00:48:01 Right, something as benign as going to buy supplies. And so when you start piling on, because I like right now with my kids being 21 and 17, I think, I worry, I think like everybody does, it listens to this podcast about the political climate, like, God, are, you know, are these Christian nationalists just going to keep brow beating everybody and just, you know, fighting so ugly, and we're're gonna have some crazy president. Are they gonna be able to have kids and whatnot? I mean, you're so fortunate
Starting point is 00:48:28 that you have a potential escape plan. Yeah, we did it on purpose in case that, because I think it's very real that that could happen. It's very much, very much freaks me. I can't watch the handmaid's tale. I can't watch it because it doesn't seem so far-fetched. I mean, the way that it's done in that way, I understand it's sensationalized for becoming TV. But yeah, I can't believe that's
Starting point is 00:48:46 still a conversation in 2024. I agree. I agree. We passed this 12 years ago. I want these conversations that we just had in 2024. We have all of this modern science. We know that people don't choose to be gay. We know that people just love who they love and we should in turn love them. And I want to hear stories like yours and Hollis's where you all have gone to such a cool amazing scientific route to bring this clover into the world and she's kind of these amazing posh cool dad. Gold star gay dads. Powered out. And I just think it's so cool and these are the conversations that I want to have and then like, you see the segment of the internet
Starting point is 00:49:26 or the news and you're like, what the fuck are those people talking about? Why are they mad about drag queens or whatever? And it just, I want to always platform and highlight your story and what y'all are doing. Because I think it's beautiful. And I think- I think the more visibility we have too.
Starting point is 00:49:42 Cause what about that global ban on surrogacy? Did you see that? No. From the Vatican, I think. Yes visibility we have too. Because what about that global ban on surrogacy? Did you see that? No. From the Vatican, I think? Yes, yes. How was that? You're what? You do not need to tell us anything about morality, Catholic Church.
Starting point is 00:49:54 Thanks so much. So I see where you're going. And that's why we have been very, very quiet about this, because we don't want a bunch of extra noise. We're starting a family. We've done it in a way that a lot of people do when they're cisgendered heterosexual families. We're pulling them all out. And if that means that if things start getting really volatile here, we have a plan B because we want her to have a very, very hands-on dad experience. And also we want her to see the world,
Starting point is 00:50:20 we want her to see people who don't look like her. Absolutely. She needs to be surrounded by people she can learn from. I think we're all on the same page with this. Yes, I have to see the world, we want her to see people who don't look like her. It's so cool. Absolutely, yeah. She needs to be surrounded by people she can learn from. I think we're all on the same page with this. Yes, I have to tell you though, two things. Number one, two gay dads. I mean, I just love gay men more than any other population. Closure is very lucky.
Starting point is 00:50:35 So I mean, I just am like, this little girl has so much to be thankful for already. And we were on a plane to LA not long ago. There were two gay dads on the flight. They had this little girl. We got off the plane, that little girl did not make a peep the entire time. With the best traveler I have ever seen,
Starting point is 00:50:52 she was maybe six. She was better behaved than pumps on the plane. 100% she kept herself, she dropped her earphones one time. She's like, excuse me, you know, and I was like, we got off the plane and we're like, well, obviously you're better behaved if you have gay dads because she was perfect. I hear that a lot.
Starting point is 00:51:07 We hear, also, there's a bunch of tests about things about aptitudes of students and a lot of children of lesbian moms have this incredible rating of straight A's, bunch of choosing whatever college they want to go to on a full scholarship. And I think a lot of it has to do with, you scientifically, we have to plan this out. We can't just do it for fun. It can't be a fun night out. Hey, somebody's pregnant. It's like, it has to do with you scientifically we have to plan this out.
Starting point is 00:51:25 We can't just do it for fun. It can't be a fun night out. Hey, somebody's pregnant. It's like this has to be methodically planned out. And I think that might have a lot to do with it. And I feel like I want her to be around people who are going to accept her, so I'm happy to live in Atlanta. But if things do change as they have been for a while now, we do have a backup plan.
Starting point is 00:51:40 Well, Pemps and I are wonderful aunts, believe it or not, as much as we browbeat children. We do like children on a case-to-case basis. Do you like each other's children? Oh, yes. Okay. They're friends? Yeah. They're all friends.
Starting point is 00:51:54 They're all friends, almost like siblings. And I adore her children, and she adores my children, but we already adore Clover. I want to thank you so much for sharing that, because I think it's so cool. I think it's fascinating for us to marvel at modern science and how possible that is. And the whole like egg donor, like looking at all of that is really fascinating. It is so cool that we can do that.
Starting point is 00:52:14 And I think it's just amazing that you live in a time that you can be a gay man and have and start a beautiful family with a man you love that you married among penguins. That's right. It's really beautiful. How many little girls can say that about their dads? Married with penguins. It's beautiful. One that we know of.
Starting point is 00:52:32 Right. Okay, we have to play had it or hit it. Okay. Oh my God. Welcome to had it or hit it. I would hit it. Had it. Had it.
Starting point is 00:52:41 I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Okay, had it or hit it, oversized bows on little girl infants. Hollis is in the next room right now, and this has been a topic we've gone over. As it should be. As it should be. This is a huge thing. I'm going to blanket this with fine print by saying everybody should do whatever they want when it comes to clothing The way you're going to dress your child up if it makes you happy and it brings a child joy joy You should do it. It's your life and your child
Starting point is 00:53:14 There's something about the bows on the newborns that it's so it's Disproportionate like I look at the bow and I forget the baby's even there. And it's just, it's like, I don't like the way it looks. And I just feel like it's a default setting. I feel like it's a precursor to a Stanley Cup shlepper. I think if your mom puts a bow on you as an infant, 100% by age 10 or 11, you're schlepping around that poison filled lead tote receptacle, receptacle, stainless cap. I do, I think it's foreshadowing to a lot of bad habits.
Starting point is 00:53:48 So I'm assuming Hollis is purchasing both? So when we were first looking a few months ago at things that we wanted to get to have ready during birth, because we're gonna have to live in the city that we're having the baby in, which is not Atlanta, we have to fly and do all the paperwork and the legal stuff. One of the fascinating things about couples have, same-sex couples having a baby,
Starting point is 00:54:04 whoever is not the biological person embryonically has to adopt the baby from the other. Oh, let's tell you the lawyer this. So I have to adopt my daughter from Hollis because biologically she's his. So I'm gonna absolutely say I've had it. Hollis did in his cart choose some of those bands. Luckily none of them were huge flowers,
Starting point is 00:54:22 but I just, I am banning the bands. I don't like the band around the head. I'd rather a cute little like small dog hat, like you know, little people, little, little, little, a beanie or like a tiny little grown up person's hat shrunk the size like you put on a little dog. Like, because it's costuming. That there's something about the big flower. I just don't care for it. But do it if you want. I still want it for me. I, I, I, yeah, you can do it if you want, but I just want it in the permanent record that I've had it and I judge it if you want, I still want it for me. I, I, yeah, you can do it if you want, but I just want it in the permanent record that I've had it and I judge it. I've had it and I don't judge it for other people, but I expect other people to judge me
Starting point is 00:54:52 if I put it on my child. So I'm gonna say had it and not do it. See, I'm a lot pettier person than you are, Brian. I judge. And I didn't, I'm not judging, I didn't do the little bands on the baby's head because I'm just not that organized. But Emily, when she was two, I would always pull her hair back and put a bow in it and she would look at me,
Starting point is 00:55:08 she'd pull that bow out and she'd throw it at me when she was two years old. So we didn't go very far with the bow. Okay, last one, had it or hit it celebrities and or known figures that go by their first, middle and last name. I have such as Sarah Jessica Parker, or perhaps a fellow named Brian Patrick Flynn. Had it or hit it? Hit it all day long. I did it knowingly. There was one other Brian Flynn in the area
Starting point is 00:55:37 that I grew up in, the Fort Lauderdale area of Florida. And there was something about the fact that there were two Brian Flynn's. I was like, I don't like this. And also Brian is not really a popular name anymore. There's not a lot of gen, you are Gen Z. I don't see any Gen Z's Kylie's age. I don't see any Brian's Kylie's age.
Starting point is 00:55:57 I see Kylie's Kylie's age, but they are not spelled the way that Kylie spells hers. So she wins. I love the three name thing. And I don't know why Julie Louie Dragfus might have set me off on that, but that her, so she wins. I love the three name thing, and I don't know why Julie Louis-Dreyfus might have sent me off on that, but that's also hyphenated. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:56:09 I think if you had a really unique name, like Fantasia Barino, there's no need for a middle name. Your name is so spectacular, but I think if your name is just like Brian, and Flatter Brian Smith, adding another one makes you a little bit different, or like Angela Donne or Jennifer Denise. Well, there's a meaning. Angela Don, dawning of an angel, obviously.
Starting point is 00:56:27 Yeah, I love that. That's a good story. It is. The dawning, as our listener has surely experienced each and every time you clap us on, it is nothing short of the clapping of an angel. It's true. It's true. It is. It is a sound from the heavens above. It is. It is a sound from the heavens above. Brian, I cannot thank you enough for coming all the way from Atlanta to see your surrogate and then to come see Clover's new aunties.
Starting point is 00:56:54 Right? Right. Angela Dawn and Jennifer Denise. Stay on, join us on Patreon if you want to hear some after show. I'm going to ask Brian more about that room and what type of porn they had. Everybody knows they want to hear that. And I'm going to ask those hard hitting questions on Patreon.
Starting point is 00:57:13 Come see us on the Hot Shit Tour. Give us five stars. Pumps tell them. We will see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that.

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