I've Had It - Grindr? I Barely Know Her

Episode Date: June 9, 2026

The kink is coming from inside the Megachurch...Pre-order Jennifer’s new book Not Today, Fascists, join our Substack, shop our merch, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast.Thank you to our sponsor:Article: Thanks to Article for sponsoring this podcast! Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit https://www.article.com/discount/hadit and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout.Biologica: Head to https://Biologica.com/HADIT to get started. Take their Quick Hormonal Life Stage Quiz to find the formula that’s right for you. And right now, subscribers can receive up to 32% off their purchase.Branch Basics: Whether you’re going all-in on safe cleaning swaps or just starting small, find Branch Basics at Target and Target.com today. #branchbasicspodiRestore: Unlock your best hair & skin with @iRestorelaser and HUGE savings on iRESTORE with code Hadit at https://irestore.com/Hadit! #irestorepodFollow Us:I've Had It Podcast: @IvehaditpodcastJennifer Welch: @mizzwelchAngie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumpsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

So are we supposed to start the podcast? One, two, three. Patriots, gay, triots, they triots, black triots, brown triots, and anybody we may have left off, we love you, and all of the triple trumpers, all of you can do what, Pumps? All right, pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with is twofold, both to do with Apple. Number one, my weather app with Apple. I look on it to see, do I need to wear, like, is it long sleeve, short sleeve, rain, no rain.

Well, now it's saying your chance of precipitation, like this morning, was 35%. So I went in to the hourly, like, what time will that be? And the highest chance of rain was 5% one time. So then I started going, because I've noticed this before, like, are we at, how are we coming up with 5%? Number one, why are you even telling me? 95% chance it's not going to rain. Anyway, so then it's 35%. So I go through that says, well, your daily might be higher than your hourly.

So I go through the next 10 days because I am a fucking net. And there is, it'll be like 80% chance to rain, 70% chance rate. You break it down on the hourly. The highest chance of rain is 30%. So I'm confused why Apple is doing that. Okay, that's my number one. Number two, I've had it with my phone just randomly will text me and say, say, you have an Apple charge to my credit card like $13, $25.

So I'm telling this, my girlfriend about it. She's like, oh, my gosh, that same thing was happening to me. I called my bank and said deny charges from Apple. I got an email from Apple that said, if you cancel the charges, you will be permanently banned from Apple and you can never buy anything ever again from Apple. So I'm like, what do I do? do I cancel this and try to figure out what they're doing? Or do I have to go through every bank statement and isolate and then find somebody with Apple to tell me what these charges are for?

I think it's a fucking racket. I think it's Tim Scott. I think it's MAGA. Had it. Tim Scott? Tim Scott. Tim Cook. Yeah.

Right. It's hard to get. Yeah, I know. It's so weird that you say all this because my grievance today is also Apple related. We did not know people. So the only reason that, well, two reasons that I have the Apple watch. Number one is so that when I misplaced my phone, I can ping it and find it. And the second reason is I don't feel like my workouts matter or even took place unless I document them on my watch.

Agree. So I noticed over the course of the last like 10 days, I was pinging my phone from my watch and I couldn't, it wasn't pinging. And I was like, well, that's weird. And then I was getting phone calls, but my watch wasn't vibrating. And I was like, well, that's weird. So I'm slow on the uptake. So it took me a couple of days to figure out that they were not in sync any longer. So it's like, okay, your watch needs a software update.

So I'm like, okay, so update the watch. I've had it with Apple calling these things updates when they're downdates. Right. Nothing about them is up. Nothing about them is better. So like I said, I use the watch for two things, pinging the phone, recording the exercise. So after I do this update, figure out how to do all that, I go to my watch to my workouts. They all used to come in order of frequency, outdoor walk, tennis, fitness, fitness training, and pickleball, right?

Those are the things that I do or hit, high intensity, whatever. well all that's is gone that's completely gone so I'm scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling through all of these things on my little watch as I'm racing to the gym like okay I've got to document this I can't find the appropriate thing so then I finally find it I start it and then my whole phone is the whole time I'm working out it's the whole screen is converted to this and I didn't sign up for that like the only reason I did the update was because you unsinked I think they do this shit on purpose, they unsinked it. And every time I do one of these

updates, it's, the photo album has never been, it hasn't been good, a year and a half. I kind of miss the button. Remember the buttons on the phone? And I just, I think that you have a bunch of people that sit around in a table and they have nothing to fucking do. And so they come up with shit

that they can do, look what I figured out, we're going to do this. And they make everything more difficult. And they make it not as much fun. we're also addicted to these devices. And then I'm like you. After I go through all of this just despair about all of these things that I've become so reliant upon, then I get really mad. It goes like this. I hate Tim Cook. Yeah. I hate Donald Trump. And I just start going down the line. I hate Jared. I hate Ivanka. I hate dumb. I hate dumber. I fucking throw Tiffany and Barron in there just for spite. Don't even get me.

started on that two-bit hooker Melania, who's been lying telling everybody she met Donald at some horse race or some bullshit when she was some hooker that Jeffrey Epstein passed on, allegedly, you know, and so it's just I go down the same rabbit hole because everybody who makes our life miserable is directly connected to Trump. That's the thing. I feel like this would not be happening. none of these issues I would have with the weather app like it would just tell you predictions would be better it would say you have a 5% chance of rain today I'd look at the hourly it's say 5 o'clock

you have 5% chance of rain that's what it would be now we're gaslighting we've taken gas lighting to a new level yeah that now and here's the deal I have considered very strongly even though I have a just an absolute hate of androids because the green text and all the things the group texting. And I thought, I'm just going to fuck in, if I got rid of my iPhone, then I thought, well, I'll get rid of my Apple Watch. But I'm like you. Like if I work out, like my phone died once during workout and I thought, fuck it.

I might as well just go home. So I was going to get one of those R ring things that you do. And I thought, well, that would work. You can't find your iPhone. That's the thing. That's the, see, that's a two. It's a two thing. Record the exercise.

Otherwise, the exercise does not take place. place and ping the iPhone. I'm like you, one time I went to tennis to train with Jeff, I rolled up to tennis and I realized I forgot my watch. I played like shit. All I would think about the whole time is how am I going to know how many calories I burned? How am I going to know what my heart rate is? And here's the thing.

Ten years ago, nobody gave a fuck about any of that shit. This is capitalism on steroids making us think. We have to have all of these monitors, monitoring and all this shit. And here's the thing. would be less critical of some of these updates. If Tim Cook was not making up stupid, ugly ash trophies and marching into the White House, giving them to Donald Trump, it makes me hate all of the products that these people produce. I think they suck. I, I really, really hate these people. Hate them.

Unlike you, I was so pissed about my weather thing just continuing to happen. I thought, I hate that motherfucker that marched in the Oval Office and gave a trophy to that fat orange fuck for nothing. And why? And then I always go back to why would you do that? You have, you own, you're running apple for fuck's sake. Why would you cow down to here? Like, I don't get it. But anyway.

So you know what somebody told me once? This gal told me, I was in a dressing room. She was the person helping me with the clothes. I was in Paris. And Josh and I were heading to Rolling Geros to the French Open the following day. And she, and I looked at the apple weather and it was like Paris, 35% chance of rain. So I told the gal, I said, oh, there's a 35% chance of rain tomorrow. So I think that's totally fine.

She goes, that's not what that means. And I said, well, what does it mean? And she said, what it means is that 35% of the city is going to get hit with rain. Oh. And I was like, I don't think it means that. It's just like, no, it does. I just found it out. And it's 100% true.

And it's like, like, if you were telling me that, I'd be like, bitch, shut the fuck up. That's not what that is. But I don't know this girl, right? Like she's helping me. I'm in a foreign country. I don't want to be an abnors. Noxious American, right? And so I'm like, really, I had no idea.

She's like, no, yeah. So basically tomorrow, it will rain. 100% it will rain, but just only 35% of Paris is going to get rain. And I had to go along with it. She's like, okay. What would you do in that situation? Do you just go along with it? Yeah, I'd just be like, whatever.

Sure. Yeah. Maybe it is. All right. Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Kylie.

It looks like you have three reviews per my notes here. I do have three reviews. And I also have two things I want to say about your hat. It's pumps the aura ring. It's a Palantir Peter Thiel deal. So that's how old. I have no idea. Another thing, and I don't condone you getting Android,

but you can now have blue texts. They fix that. Or you can like my message. Something that I have on my person find my Android. I'm sure. They have like Android watches, but I don't think you should get when I'm. I think it's stupid.

Think about that. I've got three reviews. I'm going to start with a good one. Five stars titled Creamy Tomato Soup for the Soul. And Jackie says, I just started listening to this podcast. I think it's beginning to heal my soul. You've got balls to spare. I like it.

Thank you, Jackie. I like balls to spare. Do you guys remember when all the rage was like a mother's soup for the soul? All those soup for the soul books? I was in somebody's house the other day. They still had one in their bath. I was just like, fuck this. I had a Christian one.

It was like Christian chicken soup for the soul. Oh, really? What? Yeah, it was all Christian. I don't even remember what was like self-help almost for kids. They had them for kids, had them for adults. They had them for like, weird. You know, moms that work.

Moms that have blonde hair. I mean, it got very nuanced. Okay. I'm done with the good reviews. This one is one star. It's titled Vomit Emoji Vomit Amoji. And it's written by Trump 2028, flag, flag. And they say, this is nothing but a disgusting, hateful, and pathetic ego-stalking for two narcissistic, self-righteous divas in a midlife crisis.

I can't really disagree with much of that. Okay, the last one is titled one-star with the one-star emoji. It is a one-star review. And then the review itself is a one-star emoji. So that's three total. That is three-star. Which is always kind of where I felt that it was. I don't think we're as shitty as a one star.

Some episodes are five stars. I mean, we finished on like, that was great. We were hilarious. We were especially hateful despite pumps being in denial about our being hateful. But that's a pretty good review. Okay. I have some news stories I want to share. We want to highlight a very important case of wrongful termination.

Let's pop this up. Daily Beast is reporting. Zoo curator fired after comparing a 1,500 pound animal to Trump. Let's pop up the side by side. So on the left, we have Kangles-Mek taco tits. And on the right, we have this cow or this bull. Buffalo. It's a buffalo.

I think they look a lot alike, especially the hair. Yeah. The zoo provided little details on the firing. of the curator. Let's pop this up. The Buffalo's exhibit initially featured a sign reading Donald Trump, local media reported according to the AP. The sign has since been removed and the zoo curator was fired on Saturday, though officials have not said why. There is a resemblance to Donald Trump, in its eyes, hairstyle, and skin color, Mohammed Nassim, a student in Dakah, told the AP.

And just as Donald Trump has a distinctive personality and lifestyle, this buffalo, after going viral, is now living a similar kind of life, enjoying a lot of attention and special treatment. I mean, honestly, I think that's pretty clever. I mean, I don't know anything about the zoo, but it sounds to me like it's just thin skin. Like, who cares what you name of buffalo? And they didn't say they weighed the same. So I thought that would have been what got him fired, but he refrained. Although that was the easiest joke to make.

Two fat asses, two buffalo asses. Yeah. And, you know, like these are the people that he got Stephen Colbert fired and then posted. you know so this and these are think about this movement all of the people they got fired after charlie kirk died who rightfully pointed out that charlie kirk is a total bigot um and then now they've all sued and turns out you know wrongful termination all this bullshit but it's just like they cannot stomach a mirror putting being put up to them at all that's why if you're critical of like mega churches or the sect of Christianity that magaths and Bible thumbs they're the first

to go oh my God instead of you know I can totally see that I can see how that that church is kind of like that they everything that they believe in is built on a house of cards it's so fragile it's so it's constructed in such a fragile manner that you just completely just nudge at the foundation of it and it all comes tumbling down or they completely snowflake out like this. I agree. And you know, when we were friends in the beginning where I was in the mega church indoctrinated all that, I remember when you would say things, it would make me think. I mean, I would think about it. And it took a long time. But when you just immediately dismiss it and run away from it, even if you, I mean, you have to think about it, I would think.

And that is why they're so defensive. Like, they're seeing like, that makes some sense. or do you think I'm giving way too much credit? You were pretty defensive and you rolled your eyes and huff and puffed and me quite a bit. And continue to invite me to Bible study. Yeah, but you would have never confessed that to me. I mean, it was a lot of eye rolling dismissiveness. Very much so. I think people internalize that.

It's not just one. I mean, I think you have to stay at it. It's like a thousand little paper. You have to keep going at it. Yeah. Yeah. I just, I think that's when people first, when they hear stuff like that, you would always go, oh my God, of course. You know, it was always just like you just couldn't believe that it was like the whole religion and everything was so crafted and curated and perfectly constructed that when somebody said, no, I don't believe that I think that's insane.

Well, it was just. You were the first person I ever knew that didn't. No, but seriously, but when you think about it, when everything is curated for, you. You're the chosen one. You're special. You're entitled. You get everything. But I just, I believe you have to keep saying it over and over and over. Because I do think people have, even if the wheels start, they do start to turn slowly, but they do turn. Yeah, but I want to put some context here. The reason that they, I didn't, I was never trying to convert Angie. Angie was always trying to convert me and would bring up.

things like, well, this was a God thing or that. And so it was always brought up to my face into which I would respond with something like, why does God care about this, but doesn't care about that? And so it was just, it was, it was always her, like her trying to convert me and in her process of trying to convert me, it deconstructed her. Right. Yeah. You never, you never, to be very clear, you were never like, oh my God, I'm an atheist. It's so cool. be an atheist. It's just the way to go. It was never like that with quite the contrary. But I do remember like when you said, well, why are you so special that you, that God gets to do this for you and not everybody else? It was like, what? She looked at me. I'll never forget it. She was like,

she goes, you know, God just protected me and my children from da da da da da da da da da da da da. I go, well, how lucky for you? Why do you think God protected you and your kids and didn't protect like the kids in the Holocaust, for example, or the kids that were abused and raped by Catholic priests, and she snapped up and she like, you know what? She says, well, I think God just likes me more. And I was like, oh, okay. That makes perfect sense. Which, Angie, what's not to like? All right, listener, imagine this. There actually is a version of yourself that sleeps through the night, doesn't have brain fog, and can think clearly and actually feels like yourself again. You haven't lost them. You just need support that's built for your body. And that's exactly where I was when I discovered Biologica.

I love how easy it is. It's an effervescent powder you mix with water. So it absorbs really, really well. And honestly, it just tastes really, really good. No pills, no complicated routine. It's made with clean ingredients, no added sugar, and developed alongside women's health experts who actually understand how much our nutritional needs change over time. It has great flavor. Again, it's so easy to use. And I have noticed so many positive physical changes. I'm sleeping better. I'm less bloated.

My hair feels great. My skin is looking so much better. The brain fog. Oh, my God. I haven't felt that in a really long time. Listener, head to biologica.com slash had it to get started. Take their quick hormonal life stage quiz to find the formula that's right for you. And right now, subscribers can receive up to 32% off their purchase.

Again, make sure to go to biologica.com slash had it and get up to 32% off your first subscription order today. Father's Day is upon us and I have a great gift that you all can get them in your lives. A couple of choices here. The I Restore Elite or the Illumina face mask or if you're feeling super ambitious, get them both. Father's Day is the perfect time to give the kind of gift he'll actually use something that helps him feel confident, refreshed, and ready for whatever's next. From June 8th through June 21st, I Restore's Father's Day Savings event makes it easier to upgrade. his self-care routine with a limited time savings on advanced at-home red light therapy devices.

And here's the best part. During their Father's Day savings event, you can shop the Dad Edit featuring the I Restore Elite and I Restore's New Sculpt Belt. Because the best Father's Day gifts don't just sit on a shelf, they help him fill his best every day. Listener, I Restore is celebrating Father's Day with limited time savings on their red light therapy devices from June 8th through June 21st, you can save 33% on gift ready favorites like the I Restore Elite Helmet and I Restore's new sculpt belt as part of the dad edit. Plus, your order comes with a gift with purchase valued at up to $190.00. Just head to irrestore.com code had it to take advantage of the sale. That's had it at irrestore.com. Please support our

show and tell them that we sent you, give Dad a gift that helps him feel confident, refreshed, and ready to take on his day. Okay, speaking of crazy Christians, the wives of MAGA men have figured out a way to keep grinder off their husbands' phones. Let's pop this up. LGBTQ Nation headline on Christian cell phone service. New Christian cell phone service will block. all LGBTQ plus web content by default.

And they say yesterday marked the launch of Radiant Mobile, a Christian cell phone network that automatically blocks all pornographic, satanic, and cult content. The service, which buys its bandwidth from T-Mobile's National Tower Network, will also reportedly roll out a filter that blocks all LGBTQ plus content, including web material related to gender and trans issues according to MIT technology review. The filter will be optional, but turned on by default, on all phones. We are going to create, and we think we have every right to do so, an environment that is Jesus-centric, that is void of pornography, void of LGBT, void of trans.

Radiate Mobels founder Paul Fisher told the aforementioned publication. And so the thing I want to say about this Paul Fisher is tell us you're gay without telling us you're gay. Tell us, John Grindr. I have a cell phone here. I don't need to, like, with my attractive dog is my screensaver. I do not need to block lesbian and scissoring content. I don't need to do that because I like men, you know? Like, it's just not a choice.

I just do. That's just what I like. It's such a tell on these maggie people. Just like the way Mike Pence, you know, he acted like everybody wanted to jump his bone. all the time. You know, I can't be in a room with a loamun, you know, like, it's just, it's such a tell that these people lack all forms of impulse control. They cannot advocate for themselves. They have no autonomy. Purity culture, an abstinence-only culture, has created an exacerbated rape culture. These people do not know what consent means. They have no self-control because

nobody has ever looked in the eye and said, you're going to get horny. Being horny is normal. You might want to masturbate. You might be straight. You might be gay. You'll figure out what you're attracted to. It's had this cloak of shame surrounding it, this sexual cloak of shame, their whole lives. And I just think Paul Fisher is, you know, this is a classic MAGA person. And these MAGA men, these triple Trumpers, I think have massive, massive, massive sex issues. For sure. Anybody that talks about it as much can, I mean, Mike Johnson and his wife run conversion camps. While he is working and the going to be dean of a law school named for a sexual predator,

now he is covering for Donald Trump. I mean, he wants to talk about conversion camp while protecting children. I mean, protecting prolific pedophiles over and over and over again. I mean, you can go down the list. It's always the same people, the ones talking about it the most. Although, anyway, I'm not going to say that, but honestly, the ones talking about it the most are always the most worried about it. Yeah.

All right. Let's go on to some voicemails. Okay, up first we've got James. Okay, y'all. First of all, love you, Jen and Pumps, and Kylie, and all the other gay triots and patriots and black treats and brown triads that make your podcast an amazing place. I have had it, had it, with all these Instagram ads for these stupid, fucking goddamn gadgets that are useless. Why do you need to stuff a banana? Why do you need a tube that rolls sushi for you?

Learn how to roll sushi. Like, why do you need something that cuts chicken in a tiny little slices? Do you don't know how to use a knife? Like, get these people out of here. They don't even know how to cook. I understand if you're disabled and, like, maybe your goddamn, uh, hands don't work right or something like that and you need something like that. But stop trying to teach people how to cook this lazy back-ass way with these gadgets. They're just going to be cheap.

crap from China or from Amazon and it's just lining some billionaire's pocket. It's shit you don't need. Yeah. I've fallen prey to that too. I don't even cook. I know. They do such a great job.

They roll out these commercials and I'm with them. I've had it with it. It's like great ASMR and it makes these great sounds and it looks so neat and organized and it's like oh, I could use that. And then if I've taken like some melatonin at night, I fall prey to it so easily.

And then these boxes start rolling in. I'm like, what is all this shit that I've ordered? Yeah, I don't even want this. I don't even know why I thought I would use this. But I'm the queen for like, you know what? I'm going to get that. Then I'm going to cook. Well, fuck, no, I'm not going to cook.

I haven't cooked. You know, it's weird. My dad, who has been dead for six years, my entire life watched cooking shows and bought cooking gadgets. And never once did I see. him boil water. And now I'm doing it. I thought it was so weird at the time, but now I'm kind of doing it.

Watch cooking shows? No, God, no, I'm not watching cooking shows. But I'm buying these stupid gadgets I will never, ever use. Yeah. All right, Kylie, who's next? Okay. Up next we've got Jennifer. I have had it with people asking me stupid questions about my gay kids.

I just finished listening to your episode where peppermint was your guest. episode, loved it. But I am so tired of people asking me dumb, stupid, fucking questions about my gay kids. Most recently, my stepson is gay, my daughter is bisexual. My stepson and his partner came to visit for the weekend. I was telling some friends about it. And they were like, oh, does that bother you? And I'm like, what? They said, well, they might be having sex in your house. I don't want to think about any of my kids having sex in my house. What a weird thing to say and to ask me. But I get crap like this all the time. So just wanted to share that with you. Also, you brought up Christy Noem's husband and his alter ego or whatever it is,

is named Crystal. That must be a very common name among cross-dressers or whoever. My ex-husband was a cross-dresser, a closet cross-dresser, but his alter ego was also crystal. So just thought I'd throw that out there. Okay, I agree with her that oftentimes when you tell people about something, bring up something that's gay or somebody that's gay, if the person's brain immediately goes to sex, that's really interesting. Because if you talk about, you know, heterosexuals and people's brain don't immediately go to sex. So that's a big tell. And then as it pertains to big titty Brian, who wants to be a trans-bembo slut, I'm going to tell you a story. In my early 20s, I was friends with this guy named Drew. And he's since died, sweetest, sweetest guy in the plane of hairdresser.

And he owned a hair salon in Oklahoma City. And Drew had owned the salon, so he had the other stylist that paid the booth rent and whatnot. And this one gal, she was married to a man. And she comes in there one day, and I was in there hanging out with Drew. And she comes in and she's kind of crying. We were like, what's going on? And she said, well, I went home yesterday. And my husband was painting his toenails. I was probably like 21 or something. I was like, really? It was like, why was he painting his toenails? And she was like, well, then it got worse. So then we like, like, Like, you know, I went into the room and then he had like my bras and blah, blah, blah. And so I was like, does he like wearing your clothes?

She's like, well, I think he's like a cross-dresser. These are like Republican people. And this is so much more common than people realize. And this happens in red states and blue states to Democrats and Republicans. And the whole idea that the reason MAG is attacking universities is because universities have appropriately, through like gender studies classes, said that gender, binary gender is a social construct. And we have been constructed propagandized to believe that you're either boy or girl.

But if you think back throughout your life, you always know of a girl that's a tom boy. you always know of the boy that was effeminate. And now you have these full grown, realized people, men, and I'm sure women, maybe to some extent, although it does seem to be more men, but I don't want to exclude women that want to dress up as men. These cross-dressers. And, you know, they stay in the, it's so suppressed, but it's kind of like, I think they feel like they want to represent themselves as women. or there's something going on there. And I think my estimation is that in Bible Belt states in Republican culture, this is my own personal opinion. The science will come up.

It will happen. Trust me, it always happens with this podcast. I would estimate, this is my new prediction, that Republican men enjoy being pegged more than Democratic men. These are alleged heterosexuals. And then I would also like to bring to the scientists that listen to our podcast and then conduct studies and then post them on Instagram so we see them that I think that Republican men cross-dress at a higher rate than Democratic men. I do. I don't think there's anything wrong with any of it. I think you should peg.

If you want to peg in high heels and get pegged in high heels, I support every single ounce of it. I'm just not a fucking hypocrite. completely agree. And I'm just thinking, like, I'm going through divorce cases where I had cross-dressing partners. Oh, you probably have so much good tea on this. But I mean, it's really, I mean, it's very common. It's a lot more common than people think. It's a lot more common than people think. And sometimes the spouse, once they find out, they're fine with it. Sometimes it freaks them out, but always the people I'm thinking of, I'm 99.9% sure were Republicans. I just, Yeah. Big Titty Brian. He's not alone in these churches. I bet you if we went into a church, like a big mega church on Sunday, I bet you it wouldn't be too hard to figure out who the cross dressers were. I mean, the gay, and that's obvious. They're not even trying to hide it well. Like, did I tell you this story that my mother told me? We were talking about a family friend and she said, I said, well, he's gay. He's just. He's just.

just gay. And she goes, no, he's not gay. He went on a gay cruise and he didn't like it. So he's not gay. And like a mother. Nobody's going on a gay cruise that's not gay. I hate to tell him. Like, there are a pair of earrings that he tried on and then decided he didn't like him so he didn't purchased him. So he returned them to the store. Right. But no, it's very, it's very obvious and it's much more common than people think. I think that people feel, I think that attractive, like, I find women attractive, I don't want to have sex with them. But I think like, do a leap. I'm like, oh my God, she's so gorgeous. That woman is like just drips of sex appeal. And I can openly say that in front of anybody. But men, particularly Republican men, if they see somebody really attractive,

they feel like if they say that, then that's gay. And really like attractiveness is really a bipartisan thing that we all like to look at pretty people. We all like to see hot people. We all like to see sexy people. Some men, you know, like to get kinky and dress up as women or get pegged or whatever. But in Republican Christian culture, it is just like, this is the way things have to be. Everything is scripted for these people. They don't get to go explore and be what they want to be. So when Christy Nome gets shipped off to Washington, D.C. while she's fucking Corey Lewandowski, big Titty Brian is at home. And he, and wherever she's from, North Dakota, South Dakota. I can't I remember South Dakota.

You know, he's putting on his titties and, you know, he gets to be his true self. And I would feel bad for Big Titty, Brian, because I have a lot of empathy for all of the people that suffer from Bible Belt abuse because I believe that these mega churches are just downright abusive and liars and thieves. They still money from people. And then I think the parents are spiritually abusive to their children, particularly if they sense that they, the child might be, quote, unquote, light in the loafers or something, then the bullying starts from the parent. And so I have a lot of empathy for that. But in the case of Big Titty Brian, when you're like his Dom, the person on OnlyFans that he

fell in love with, you know, she said, I saw the way he and his wife were treating people and I wanted to expose it. She wanted to write the wrong. It wasn't like he was doing this passively and his wife worked, was a banker that traveled a lot. You know, she was killing people. She was killing innocent civilians, killing cricket, killing a goat. And so, yeah, I think it's just interesting shit.

But I'll just tell you this much, the most fucked up people I've ever known have always been the most religious every single time. I have to agree. I was one of them. So I under like in terms of marriage, like most fucked up crazy salacious details for marriage, those are always coming from me. inside the church always. But I will say something that's interesting.

A lot of pegging goes on in straight couples that you don't realize. How do you know this? Well, just from different clients. Like it's not as. So you're doing a divorce and then how does pegging enter the divorce? Well, I've had a client break into a cartwork and throw the sex toy in there and be proud of it. And I'm like, you just can't do that shit. You know, you can't drop off the dildo.

it had a strap on it. I don't think I knew. I knew it was going in the butt, but I didn't know it was called pegging at the time. I just knew that he, he liked her to fuck her with him with. Why am I whispering? Fuck him with the dildo in the ass. Really? So you piece that together? Through the course of this podcast, I have figured out a few things. So you saw who threw, she threw the dildo in his car? Yes. Like, dumped out. I'm not going to peg you anymore. Right. And then you being the legal eagle that you are pieced together, oh, she used to strap that on and he took it up the ass. Okay, well, I will say this. I just thought she was, I didn't know until you, until y'all told me what pegging was. I didn't understand how it worked. Now, it makes perfect sense now, but I just thought it was a hand thing.

Okay, so wait, let's go through that. Let's break that down. So you thought the, you thought she just had the end of the dildo. and then just was cramming it. Right. I didn't know you wore a strap. When did you discover that? On this podcast.

Did the dildo that was thrown in the car, did it have a strap attached to it? I never saw the actual. How did you, how did you find out that her? His lawyer put it in pleadings that she's going up to his office, breaking into his car with the spare key and dropping sex toys. And I was so shocked that the guy described. the sex toys. So I call it my clients. And I'm like, you can't do this shit. I was like, did you do this? She's like, God damn right. I did. And she was the same person that was stocking him over Venmo. It was a whole thing. But there's a lot of crazy shit. But just one thing

that I've noticed is everybody's like talking about, you know, we want to make a community safe from gay people, blah, blah, blah. These are the same people that are fucking around. And they are covering for their pastor fucking around. And they're covering for their pastor fucking around. And they're covering for the youth minister molesting kids. And it makes me irrate. I want to make the country safe from straight people. I want to make children safe from straight people. And so I just want to put that out there because I'll tell you what, Josh and I would always say when somebody, when we were raising our kids in the Bible Belt, and if a family said, oh, we're a really good Christian home, that's a big red flag.

That is a big red flag. All of my friends that weren't religious and that were like progressive, were totally normal, that very boring marriages, very boring normal lives. They were the most normal people on the planet. My most religious friends, their husbands were always so fucked up. The wife was just out to lunch. It was just, it was a script. And people that are listening to this that live in the Bible Belt know this to be true. They know it. And that's why people, white women, get their panties in a wad about our podcast because we call them out. We call it all the little bitches that love to go to their gay hairdresser and then go vote to hurt them. But they think they're so cool when they're hanging out talking to them. Oh, girl, I know.

You date in anyone? And then they go and just rat fuck them at the ballot box. For sure. All right. Listen up moms and dads with Father's Day coming up. Let's have some real talk. Most of us grew up thinking all cleaning products were safe, right? We're cleaning the germs away. But the truth is, most conventional cleaners are full of these really harsh chemicals that can cause a whole host of health problems. And this is a real problem because you obviously have to clean, but you don't want your cleaning products making you sick. That's why I want to introduce you to branch basics. Made from plant and mineral based ingredients, branch basics is human safe and it's fragrance free, making it perfect for families or anyone looking to sweat. to a healthier home cleaning product. And here's the good news, listener. Branch Basics is now

available at Target and Target.com, making it easier than ever to access safe and effective cleaning products. Whether you're going all in on safe cleaning swaps or just starting small, find Branch Basics at Target and Target.com today. Okay, you guys, I just ordered some new stuff for my new apartment and I ordered from article. I got the most fabulous Julie swivel chair in ivory wool bouclay. I love a swivel chair. I love a boule clay. Article has the best furniture at the best prices with the best customer service imaginable. They have curated collections for every single style. You can actually mix and match them so your house doesn't look too matching matchy. They have quality furniture and they do not compromise.

on that consistently high quality, fast, affordable, shipping and assembly. That to me is clutch because there's nothing worse than ordering something and it's just a huge debacle trying to get it delivered. They also have support whenever you need it, seven days a week. And my favorite part, a 30 day satisfaction guarantee. Article is offering our listeners, $50 off your first purchase of $100, $100,000. or more. To claim, visit article.com slash had it and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. That's article.com slash had it for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more.

I have another admission that I'd like to make since the last podcast real quick. Okay, great. You know, we're talking about the free pressing or whatever when you look at the guy's dick and you try to size it up. I can't remember what it's called. Catching print. What? The printing? I thought it was pressing. Catching print. Oh, I thought it was pressing. Anyway, I've done that. Don't laugh. I just can't remember. Pressing printing. Catching print. Catching print. I've caught print of every single mail I've come in contact with. Okay. And tell us the results. Oh my God. It's so weird. I know it's confirmation bias. I know it is.

But a lot of the people that I hate, like that I'll run into at the gym that I'm just like, I fucking hate him. Little teeny weenies. It really is. So I'm start like, but I went to do, I went to coffee to get coffee.

I looked at everybody in that store. I, what I found was, you know, that coffee store, the real fancy one, I went in there. There were two gay guys

in there and they were hung like horses and then there there was like two customers that looked maga and they were like zero peonies like i could not catch any print or whatever it is you couldn't free press them i couldn't free press them yeah which i think is a bad sign she's gonna get arrested i know okay so let's review so let's review we have pubs running around okama city. Yeah. Gazing into everybody's crotch at the fancy coffee shop, did you say? Yeah.

The real fancy coffee shop. And per your on the ground reporting, homosexuals have larger penises than magasexuals. One. Three people, it's two to one. There's the science. I really believe this to be true because I think that your hypothesis, for quite some time now, that at the epicenter of maga men is penile issues, whether that be in size or in energy.

Like maybe you have, maybe you're a MAGA guy and you have a really large penis, but you're unable to perform. You're unable. It's a soft serve situation. We're pulling up soft all the time. Angie, every time I see the Mr. Softie truck in New York, I chuckled because I just think you. My brain goes to penises and you go, look, there's Mr. Softie. My ex-husband could have worked there. I always just picture you seeing some shit like that. And I'm relating ice cream

to penises. Heads in the gutter. But I mean, how often did I bitch about to self-serve all the fucking time? Why are we doing self-serve? Why bother? What I think got me the most is when you would tell me that your ex-husband wanted to have sex with you and that y'all had to like do like all my children days of our lives like making out beforehand. Remember when I was just like let's just fucking get it over with. Just let's get it over with.

Why we have to do all this kissing? The French kissing. Are you sure you straight? Yeah, although I was talking to a lady yesterday that she came out. She said, I don't know if I'm gay, but I'm in love with her. And they've built a life together and all this.

She called it something and I can't remember what it is. Free pressing. No. I can't know what it's called, but she had a term for it. And I was like, it's just not that uncommon. Like she actually, like she was the only, she discovered turning lesbian in midlife. And I was like, no, there's a lot of people to do that. I might do that.

Hell, you never know. Where'd you see this woman? At the fancy coffee shop? Oh, at the gym? Yeah. Have you investigated the penises at the gym? I told you, there are all, all the people that I spotted as MAGA, 100% had no dicks in their shorts, which that means really bad.

Interesting. All right, let's do one more voice memo. Okay, the last one we've got is from Claire. I've had it with Appreciation Weeks, Teacher Appreciation Week, Nurses Appreciation Week, My take is that if we need a whole week to appreciate you, you're not getting paid enough. And once again, all this does is forces usually moms, because let's be really fucking for real, to spend their money on doing something nice for someone in their family, in their life, in their children's lives, instead of these people actually being paid what they deserve.

And it's not just like buying a gift, like whatever. I can get a gift card or whatever. It's like the mental load in Maysember, which is already a fucking nightmare. it's literally worse than Christmas. I have been to so many concerts and programs and award programs. And I just, I can't. Let's actually pay these people what they are worth and leave it at that. Please, please.

I agree with that. I agree. I mean, May is the worst time in the year. And I remember when we were little, like, my mom may like take cookies or something. I mean, I don't remember this happening, but I could see it happening. But like now it's like Monday is. is, you know, show your appreciation by this or that or this or that. Okay, so I saw the funny thing I've been dying to tell you.

On the marquee of a middle school that I'm driving by, it says, it's summertime parents. Tag your it. I love it. It's your fucking problem now, parents. I loved it. I thought it was so funny. I agree with that gal about all the. There's just a lot in a lot.

America. There's a lot of labeling of shit and then promoting the shit. And now it's all diluted. Like, nothing really means that much anymore. Like if, if Kelly were to say, oh, it's bosses day today or it's, you know, vagina day to day. And it's taco day to day. And it's depreciation that's none of it means anything to me anymore. Nothing means anything anymore because nobody saved shit for the good stuff. What about nuclear family month? Nuclear Family Month. Nuclear Family Month. We're celebrating that. Strong Family Month. I'm going to celebrate weak families.

I want to promote weak families. Here's how stupid is like nuclear family month. It's just I just, these people, they're so fucking stupid and emotionally stunted. It's just such I don't think there's a bigger way to tell the world you're a fucking dumbass who has the emotional

maturity of a second grade. other than to post, happy nuclear family day. You might as well just Riley Gaines. You should have just opened up your phone and said, hi, my name is Riley Gaines. I have the emotional maturity of a kindergartner on my best day. I'm emotionally stunted. I've been religiously abused. I think my husband might be gay and I think I might be a lesbian.

Happy nuclear family day. X O, XO, Riley Gaines. I would respect that and appreciate that. And I might even take a moment of silence for Nuclear Family Day if you could just fucking be honest about anything. But instead it's all this by God's design and God this. And it's just the Bible thumping mixed in with all the bigotry and hate is so, and if you've ever lived in the Bible Belt around these people,

it is so fucking insufferable. It's the most insufferable shit on the planet. remember when my son was playing basketball his senior year, junior year, senior year, these Bible moms would get on this group me and want to have a prayer before the basketball game. We pray for the fucking team. And I was just like, that's so fucking stupid. Like, that's, we're going to pray for the, for these kids to beat those kids. It's just, it's, it's so, I could go on about it forever. I'm just so glad I don't have to fucking live around it anymore. It was torturous living around these emotionally stunted people. Now, within that,

within the red states, my friends that are liberal, who have always fought the good fight, who tell their gay friends they love them and go vote for them and fight against anti-black racism are the best fighters this country has. But my God, the emotional stunting in Oklahoma. Do you remember when they all had a meltdown because the NBA had Black Lives Matter on the court? Oh, yeah. They're having a meltdown right now because when Binyama didn't put his hand over his heart on the anthem. I'm like, he's fucking French. I don't put my hand over the heart on the anthem. Who gives a fuck? Who is? The Oklahoma people? No. Like the NBA or the sports stuff that I follow. Or like all these people are like, I can't believe the San Antonio players don't put their hand over the heart.

None of them do. None of the players do. Why do they fucking care? Why are they monitoring all this? fucking hall monitors. You put your hand up your ass during the national anthem. Why don't you take your hand and fist fuck yourself up the ass during the anthem instead of monitoring what everybody else does? I'm so sick of these MAGA hall monitors. All right, listen. Subscribe to our channel.

We'll see you all later.