I've Had It - Hashtag Pinch Me with Watch What Crappens

Episode Date: August 8, 2023

Jennifer and Pumps are joined by podcast legends, Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam, the hosts of Watch What Crappens. The group has had it with mens deodorant scents such as Alpha Male and Manly Musk. Pumps has had it with waiting at the doctors office and Jennifer calls out Instagram influencers pretending to be obsessed with nature, when the truth is they're just obsessed with themselves. Some listeners did a deep dive on MizzWelch's instagram and demand explanation to some questionable caption choices.... Come see I've Had It live on the Hot Sh*t Tour! More info & tickets available at https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast Thank you to our sponsors: SimpliSafe: Listeners get a special 20% off any SimpliSafe system when you sign up for Fast Protect Monitoring. This huge offer is for a limited time. So visit SimpliSafe.com/HADIT. Honeylove: Get 20% OFF @honeylove by going to honeylove.com/HadIt! #honeylovepod HelloFresh: Go to HelloFresh.com/50ivehadit and use code 50ivehadit for 50% off plus free shipping! Lume: As a special offer for listeners, new customers GET $5 OFF a Lume Starter Pack with code HADIT at LumeDeodorant.com. That equates to over 40% off your Starter Pack when you visit LumeDeodorant.com and use code HADIT Hint: New customers can get Hint for just $1 a bottle with free shipping, when they order 3 cases. That's 36 bottles for $36 and free shipping. Visit hintwater.com use the code HADIT at checkout. Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps Special Guests: Ben Mandelker & Ronnie Karam @benmandelker @ronniekaram @watchwhatcrappens

So we supposed to start the podcast. Okay, one, two, three. Oh, first read all the box after a little break. I saw a little troll on YouTube that said they were sick of the clop. Oh, they don't like my clop? Blast, Fimmy. That is so hateful. It's so mean.

They don't realize how hard I work on that class. That's the stuff that hurts. Like calling us bitter old cows and old hags could give two shifts. As we're bowed talks. Don't care. Bring it. But criticizing the clap pumps is clap. I mean, it's really the best part of the show sometimes. It's totally, it's totally the best part of this heaping pile of garbage that we produce twice a week. That's right. It is. That's furious with that comment. You have time to go delete and or comment on your comment and take it back. Amend it somehow. Amend it. Take it back. Amend the record. Amend the record. Pumps, what have you had it with this week? Okay, what I've had it with is when you go to a doctor's

appointment and your doctor's appointment's at 230. Yes. And right when you sign in, they make you put the time that you arrived, right? And they say it's plain as day, it's like posted. If you're more than 15 minutes late, we're gonna have to reschedule you. But you sit your fat ass in the chair for an hour or an hour and a half.

Right. And they act like, because I'm like, if it's 15 minutes for you, it's 15 minutes for me. So every 16th minute, I'm like, hi, I had a 230 appointment. It's, you know, are we close? Oh, well, she's just really backed up. Okay, number one, tell me that when I sign in. Right. Right. Or B, like give me an update sometime when I'm sitting there for an hour and a half. It just grinds my gears. I know doctors go to school for a hundred years. I get all that.

I respect the profession. But they're the only profession on the planet that gets to be an hour and a half late with zero apologies, zero updates, and just act like it's fine. And it's not fine because if you're 15 minutes late, you don't get your appointment. So I've had it with doctor's office etiquette.

I completely agree with you. Totally. I think in the technological age, the doctors need to send a text. Correct. We are running 30 minutes behind. Yes. Because when you have careers like you and I do,

plus children, those 30 minutes can be an errand that you can run. And instead, you're sitting on your phone, look at a bunch of bullshit on Instagram, getting mad because your time's getting wasted. And the doctor, I get that they're busy, but everybody's busy. Everybody's busy. I had a client that was a doctor once, and he wanted me to go to his office and look at decorating.

So I go, this is for an interior design appointment, right? And it's like at 2 p.m. I wait 2, 2, 30, 2, 45. Finally I text him and I'm like, I have to leave. I can't be here this long. Like this is, I'm not going through this. Finally, he text back and I'm not kidding you. Sorry, I was saving someone's life. I'll fuck off.

It's like that God complex. Right, if you're being a hospital, if you're saving somebody's life, you're in your office, dick and a rail. That doctors have. And it's like, look, I respect the profession, but quit acting like you're saving everybody's life. Yes, some doctors do, but most of these things are routine checkups and we're getting

dicked over and the customer service is shit. I'm just, this is going all through me. I'm saving someone's life. Yeah. What a dick. I wish you would have texted it back. Well, the next time you're not saving someone's life, we'll make another appointment. Because you're sitting in your office or seeing patients for one, here's the deal. There's

staff, scrub text, nurses around him that can get in the hospital, that can get a message relayed. Tell Jennifer Welch, I'm running 45 minutes behind schedule. I'm saving someone's life. Okay, great. But it's just they're I like doctors, but they're not all doctors But a lot of them can have this God complex. Yes, and this out of check ego that I think definitely needs to be checked. I mean that That just goes all through me. We're kind of lucky because our doctors are really pretty good. They run on time Yes, our normal doctors, but those specialists doctors. oh my gosh, it's just like, come on. Oh no.

Okay, let me tell you what I've had it with. What have you had it with? So I was looking on Instagram and there was this gal that was like on my 4U page and she's like full face and makeup, hair completely done and like a total like Brazilian style bikini with mountains in ocean behind her and the comment says, I'm obsessed with nature. I'm like, bitch, you saying you're obsessed with nature is like me saying I'm obsessed with Bible study. Right. It just comes ass being on Instagram because it looks hot.

It's your obsessed with yourself and with Instagram. Yes. I mean that's where I wanted to follow up and comment if I were petty, which I am, but I didn't want to waste my energy on this. Like what specific parts of nature are you obsessed with? Right. I mean I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed with nature. It's such bullshit. It's kind of like you're a Africa hashtag. Exactly. Life changed. Exactly. Still can't believe you did that.

Still cannot believe you did that. Well, I mean, you know what? Number one, it's still on there. I haven't scrubbed it to try to pretend like I'm a different person. Right, you haven't tried to like go back in. So many people manicure and curate their Instagram and go back and delete something that could be embarrassing.

My shit if it's up there. It's up there. It's up. Right. Unedited. I'm going to own it. Accountability. I told on myself on the podcast, being a fucking moron and I have evolved.

Right. And I'm more enlightened and I used to be a part of the problem. Now I'm a part of the solution. Okay, so this made me have another thought. What is the rule? Because I am seeing a lot of those Brazilian phone bathing suits at the lakes this summer in Oklahoma. And I think if you have a great ass and you're young and cute

and have a great ass, I'm all for it. I want to see your ass too. But I'm talking, that's your ass. That's not my ass. That's not people that have big asses. I saw some, on Fourth of July weekend, I saw some asses that did not need to be in a thong. It shouldn't there be a rule that like, if you're not, if you don't have the perfect task,

you should just wear a regular. So you're talking about thong abuse. Thong abuse, that's what it is. I mean, I couldn't take my eyes off of it. If they don't give a fuck and they just have on their thong and they just don't give a shit and they're confident, good for them. I just think maybe I'm just that thong thing

still is kind of shocking to me a little bit. I don't, it's a little bit shocking to me. I don't, I mean, I think that's a very American Puritan standpoint. In Europe, they have nude beaches. Nobody gives a fuck. No, I know. I get a fuck like a...

South America, they all wear thongs everywhere. No, I know, but I think it's a crisis. I think it's your Bible thumping background. That's what I think the culprit of this, all roads lead to the Bible thumping background. Background. Yes, I think you sound like a Puritan. I think this is an American prude problem. And I think, I mean, if you go to Europe, Europeans, all different body styles, they just wear their swimsuits without shame. And there's not this like we're so in this capitalist society that

everything has to look perfect. Some people have good asses, some people have cellulite asses, but everybody in this country should be able to have the freedom to wear a thong pumps. Where's your fucking patriotism? I'm not at the thong situation. Maybe I'll get a thong and hang it on my car like a flag. That's thong flag. Okay.

I just, I think, I have to say I think good for them. Okay. I think that you still need some deep programming from your Puritana bringing. That's probably not wrong. Okay, I would like to welcome everybody to I've had it, especially those wearing thongs with a less than perfect Darrier. I want you to know I I do not judge you, and I love you, and I would like to welcome the star

of our show, the judgemental pumps. I asked, I didn't say, I was just like, am I wrong? Apparently I'm wrong. That everybody should wear a thong. Kylie, you don't hate them, do you? I don't hate them, no. I didn't say I hated her. I just said, wow. I thought you served up some hate or hate

in the pre-short zone. No, I just said I'm surprised that she was wearing a phone. Okay. Kylie, what's going on on social media? I know what's gonna be going on next week in social media. So I'm all locked and loaded for that one, but what's going on this week in social media?

You brought up your Instagram captions? Yes. We've gotten DMs. People have done their due diligence. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited. Tina DMed us and said, she sent a post. Okay. And it's, is it my, my, it's a post for my Instagram?

It's my, my Instagram. So they went back nine years. Yes. Oh, that's love. That's love. Who is this person? This is Tina Tina. Thank you. That's love Tina Thank you for the work. She said please surprise Jin with this on the podcast and ask her to explain this out of control Caption thank you for your service and it's a post in Italy. Okay

Of scenery, okay, you caption it, every day goes back and forth. It's showing a zigzag road. It is. Okay. It's a winding road, Tina. I know, but you're the only person that knows that, so you just look like an asshole. People that have been to fucking Italy know that.

Okay, but I'm just saying you look like an asshole. Purely an asshole. For the other fucking Bible thumper. Fucking Bible thumper. All right. And the three hashtags. No, it's bad. Three hashtags.

I'm going to give that one a C because I know that there are some Fs. I've got an F. Okay. I'm going to give the winding road a C. I can't defend it. Although the road is winding. This one needs explanation. Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, Drew DMed us on this Welch post. Okay. That says Angula for the win. Okay. Hashtag spring break hashtag Blessed no, well, I'm doing that tongue in cheek. I've been using hashtag. You believe that I swear to God. I do have no no no. I was that I do. I was that. You guys, I'm an atheist. On the record, my entire life is an atheist. I used the hashtag blessed to make fun of the blessed community. I would, no, I don't even, I hate the word blessed. I used it as a joke.

There are others that I deserve to be made fun of, but I'm doing that one as a joke. Permanent records. I'm an atheist. Perman an atheist. I've always been an atheist. My parents are atheist. I fucking hate the blessed community. I cannot stand Bible thumping. But you are blessed. People use the word blessed. It irritates the fuck out of me. That's what I'm doing there. What else you looks like it's taken from an airplane. Okay says hello Johan Johan's book Johanna's book. It is okay

It's don't edit that out. No, you do not edit that out Kylie listener I want you to hear how uncultured this staff is that after work with I am so sorry to South Africa that she did not To say Johanna's book if you better fucking leave that in for the permanent record. I didn't even know that was in South Africa. Oh my God. I'm so sorry to our South African listeners. All right. And now this is where it's gonna get bad. This is where I was at my peak worst. This one says, hello to Hanzberg. Next stop Cape Town. Hashtag pinch me. Yeah. That's an F. Can't defend that one. Can't not defend that one. I was psychologically gearing up to do a lot of hashtag abuse. Yeah, yeah, that's bad. What do we

think the hashtag limit is? I will say these are all like 19 years old people use more hashtags and also I'm a Ginex or when I first got on Instagram, so I was like you're supposed to hashtag. I'm like, okay, I'll do that. So I just started hashtagging, you know, like an idiot. And the hashtag pinched me, I cannot defend. Hashtag blessed, I'm doing to make fun of the hashtag blisters. Whatever you say, Kylie, I mean, whatever she says right right if you go look through my answer and we'll see more hashtag blessed I want it for the permanent record I'm not a Bible trolling I'm trolling the Bible thumpers do not confuse me with a Bible thumper listener I post like pinch me. I post it. I post it. Pinch me. I can't defend that.

Here's what I have to say to everybody as this. And actually, this needs to be directed at me for the pinch me, honestly. I will, I will, God damn it. I will, God damn it. I mean, I deserve that. I'm gonna make that a hashtag. I will, God damn it. Oh, that's a great hashtag. No, I deserve that. I'm gonna make that a hashtag. I roll god. Oh, that's a great hashtag.

No, I was bad. Like, when somebody, my age gets on Instagram for the first time and like you're figuring out how to do it, it's like you use hashtags. So I fucking use hashtags. I'm like, okay, I'm just, I just, well, you tell me that I had to say hashtag before everything on Instagram and I did that for six months.

I was just fucking with you. No, I know. Hell, but I didn't know. I told cops, let's Instagram and I did that for six months. I was just f***ing with you. No, I didn't. Hell, but I didn't know. I told cops, let's not say you have to spell out hashtag, you can't just use it. And I was like, hashtag, she wrote it podcast. I would say make sure you spell at H-A-S-H, you can't use the balance.

She was like, okay, see that was me. So anyway, no, the hashtag pinching me is really bad, but I am flattered that people went back that far. A for effort, A plus plus on that is really good. Okay, listeners, I mean, this has been kind of a shit show in entry. I think it's been really good though. And I deserve all the shit I get it,

but I will, I mean, I will put it on my tombstone. She opposed the blessed community. Okay, we'll put that on your tombstone. Okay, we will. I'm going to put on yours, reformed Bible Thumpers. Okay. Listener, I cannot tell you how much better we feel that I've had it because the star of our show is now secure and safe because we have installed simply safe in pumps is home.

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I've had it in use, five zero. I've had it for 50% off plus free shipping. So now we have a guest. We have guests. Two guests. Two guests that are like basically antiques in the podcasting world. What are they, 20?

No, I mean, their podcast has been around for well over a decade. They have a long running podcast called Watch What Crappens, which is like a take off on Watch What Happens. Right. And so they review all things Bravo before you tune out. We're not going to talk about Bravo with them because this is not a Bravo podcast. We're going to talk about what they've had it with, but they are fantastic. So let's welcome to I've had it, Ben and Ronnie.

Okay. Ben and Ronnie, welcome to I've had it a place of cupcakes, rainbows, and positivity for this globe of hours. How are you guys good? I love a good. So good. A good positive gay rainbow. I'm in. Let's eat it.

I know you guys doing great love a gay rainbow as well. Okay. So let's just, I mean, let's just start shit talking immediately. What if you all had it with? Oh, Ronnie, you go first because I feel like you have something really good lined up. You know, I don't, I mean, I've had it with most everything. I'm old enough to just be sick of everything. One thing I'm sick of is good people. I think like real world, real world good people are okay who are actually out there doing like good for the world but internet good people

Can suck it like I'm seriously sick of them. I have this new lady in my neighborhood Who is constantly going on our tiny little Facebook? Community thing, you know, that's where you're like oh my god. I lost my peacock They said that really that's true. Yeah, there was a lost lost pee. I was out there looking for a peacock. You're a good person because you were looking for a peacock. I did have the word cock in it, which doesn't take much debate. A gay man out the door. Am I right or am I right? The word peep before. But the cock did raise a eyebrow. It's funny. Anyway, we have this new lady in the neighborhood.

And this is just a tiny little Facebook. But she, I guess, needs attention or she needs us to be like, oh my God, welcome to the neighborhood. You're such a good person. And she just keeps, okay, one of her thing is guys to help our pollinators fill a bowl with marbles and add water. Marbles give the bees a safe place to land so they can drink without drowning

So she shows a picture of marbles and bulls and happy bees If the bead can't drink without drowning the beat deserves to Right, it's a winianism. Yes, yes, yes, Darwinism. You know what this is is faux Dugutter it's right. This is all this is is faux do goodter. It's bra, this is all, this is all performative. This is all performative do goodter, cause I'll tell you what, that neighbor probably has some shit

going on behind that door and she's trying to mask it with saving the pollinators, which I think is a total ruse. If I were you, I'd keep an extra eye on that house cause I bet there's a lot of fuckery going on in there. She's probably sending hate letters to celebrities and think she's allowed to do it because she's saved a beat. Exactly. But she's literally saved a beat and that like literally gets you no awards ever. Like she's overcompensating. I think she's just saying, like, love me. You know, like, don't save

the bees. I'm drowning over here, guys. Does anybody like want to make a bowl of marbles for me? I'm literally and figuratively drowning. So, Minka, another one is saving one animal, won't change the world, but for that one animal, the world will change forever. Now listen, am I? I'm for saving animals. You know what I mean? Like, am I for saving animals? Of course, she put the ugliest dog up there. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying.

I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying.

I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying.

I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. She's just, or she would put a Frenchie. You know, there are Frenchies who need homes too. There are Jack Russell's that cute adorable little dogs that need home too. But this lady is like, look at me. I would save an ugly one. I'm gonna make a nice choice. She's like, I wouldn't. Yeah, I think you've got to keep the neighborhood watch sign. You remember those with the guy with the cape on and the eyes?

I think you have to keep an extra eye on the situation. I don't support being a nosy neighbor unless it's super juicy. Right. And unless it's really something I want to know. Otherwise, I don't care who's using the pool after nine, anything like that. I feel like it's all the old people too. Like they don't have anything to do. And so they're just making, sitting there, making comments about what's going on in the neighborhood. And it's like, bitch, we don't care. We don't care. As long as everything's fine and nobody's getting,

you know, burgl, we're good. I don't support nosy neighborhood neighboring, but what I do support is we're windowing. Because I tell you, I love creating a narrative about everything going on outside my window. Like I, well, if there's something weird going on, I'm like, I'm the lady with the B, but she has like a pitch fork out in the backyard.

I'm like, killed someone, killed someone. She's a serial killer. The B is like the first clue and no one's picking up on it. Like I love doing that. I'm all down with that. I'm totally down with that. We had a neighbor at my old house and he was this older man that lived across the street

from us, and one day the police come to my door, and they're like, we have to talk to you about something. I'm like, what is it? And they're like, well, your neighbor across the street, Rich, has accused Josh, Josh is my husband. Rich has accused Josh of breaking into his house and rearranging the furniture. We don't think this has happened,

but Rich has mentioned to us that he has a gun. We live in Oklahoma, so everybody's fucking got guns. And so we just wanted to make sure, like, if y'all had an altercation with him, and I'm like, no, but he accused one of my friends once of stealing his gnome. He had a gnome out in his front yard. Oh, I remember.

Yes, I mean, nobody wants your gnome. Yes, and so, like, he totally a no mountainous front yard. I remember. Remember? Yes. Nobody wants your know. Yes. And so like he totally had this whole kind of fantasy world going on. And here's the deal. Josh is totally metrosexual. I could even make a strong argument that Josh could possibly be homosexual.

He just is not that gay that would break in to rearrange somebody's furniture that would fit. I feel like you would do it. I know. I mean, I've seen I only know you from the TV, but that sounds reasonable. You're family to me. I don't. Oh my God.

Sounds just like you actually. And you're also stealing home because it's bringing down the property values in the neighborhood. Someone needs to tell Rick, nobody wants his name. Right. It sounds like you just cracked the case. Maybe I was the culprit all along. You all along.

Going Josh under the bus, poor baby. Yeah, no, but I mean, it was, I mean, it was totally nuts. That street was, it was kind of crazy. I got the hell out of there. Mabers are, they're like almost always terrible. Yeah, no, they're bad. Okay, one of you put down in our correspondence prior to having you on.

This whole concept that I immediately fell in love with and did a lot of research on, which is the name of men's deodorant sense. Yes, that was me. Okay. I have. I feel like a, my on the game show, I feel like I literally do right. I have taken the liberty of googling some of the best sense. And what we're gonna do is I'm gonna name these. And then whenever we to go around and we're gonna describe what type of man we think uses this, okay? So I'm gonna start off, and then let's just free ball it and go through it, let's have some fun here, okay.

The first set is man of steel. Mm, fat. That is definitely a chubby man. Nobody muscular means to have steel under their arms. Right. And I think a little penis because they probably are overcompensating. I'm going teeny wini as well. Teeny wini.

Tiny wini. My roller. Because Superman definitely has that like he's evil Superman too, you know, right? Right. Right. By polar, bipolar, small dick, Comic-Con, obviously someone going to Comic-Con with where? Not to be too beautiful, but let's be honest. Yeah, in a costume for sure. Here's our next cent, fellas. It's speed stick. I'm going to say right out of the gates, I think this is a quick shot. I was going to, that's what I was going to say. What we call great minds, Bob.

It's great, right? What we call a quick shot here at I've had it, guys, is a man that shoots his water a little too fast, a quick shot. Oh, God, I wish I could be that. That's like my dream. I'm like the slowest. Can you just wait a minute? Please? How do we make this happen more quickly? Speed stick. I'm going to say speed stick doesn't have small dick energy. He doesn't have large dick energy. I'm going to say this is like a sport dick. You know, a Goldilocks size day. Like a shower, not a grower. Literal just energy. Like not big dick or little dick.

Just an energy. Yeah, sport dick, you know? And I think it's a sport dick. I think that he does shoot pretty quickly. I think we got a quick shot on our hands. And I think this is a guy that spends a lot of time in the gym doing cardio. Not like a, you know, like muscle, like beefy body builder.

But I think this is a cardio freak, a runner. Does he do triathlons? Yes. Speed stick. I think there's like that triathlon energy. Speed stick is a triathlete, which what's that bicyclist name? Lance Armstrong. Yeah. Oh my god. He knows the thing is a triathlete. They're always talking about going off to do a triathlon. Have you ever noticed that? Yeah. You want to have dinner? Sorry. I've got a triathlon on. Right. How many triathlons are there? You know, I have to train all the time. I feel like they're the worst in the gay pride parade because like, it's not good enough being gay. It's not good enough being by it. They have to have like, try. It's like, why?

You guys are the gayest athletes. I'll tell you this, this idea, you know, my kids are starting to age out of me using them for excuses to get out of going to stuff. I think I'm going to take up triathlons. And I can just tell people they can ask me, do you want to go to dinner? Do you want to go to a movie? And I can say, I'm training for a triathlon. But then there'd be that one person at a party that was in the triathlon that would try to like pitch and hold you and want to talk about it nonstop. You'd easily be discovered at that. Yeah. Because runners, right, they want to talk about it all the time.

Right. All the time. I want to tell you about it. Yeah. Okay. The next set, which is one of my favorites, is smell like a man. Oh, the worst. I'm going to say right out of the gates, Fox news News mail anchors smell like a man for sure like that

Sean Hannity like Greg got filled. What about the go there's a Twitter person that's called like man alpha male. Oh, that's a cent. It's alpha male is an alpha male is a cent? Oh, perfect. What are they naming me for? Because they're marketing to people like Ted Cruz. What's that guy's name from Missouri? Josh Holley. Oh, the word. It was such a post. You remember when he's like, she gave out of the capital.

Yeah, right. He gave like the right power fist pump. And then he starts like hiding. And then the committee just humiliated him with all those videos. I can't understand. I can't understand. Is there a deodorant sent for insurrection? I'm just wondering.

I'm just wondering. Oh, maybe we should start that. Okay, here's one. It's called sweatless strength. Sweatless strength. There isn't no such thing. Listen, you can try and Botox the sweat out of you. It'll start coming out of different places. That's right. You're just going to be crazily sweating strings.

You know what I realized when researching this is what a minefield it is to market to men, and particularly like probably like middle American men, because they have to address like something that is socially feminine, not sweating. But so men are not winning sweat, but they also have to like bow down to their masculine egos so you get alpha male and you get manly musk. And you get manly freshness. And then you get that smell like a man.

You know, it's really a precarious naming struggle to try to suggest a man to buy a product that really isn't that manly. I know. And it's also like embarrassing that they have to be so on the nose with us. Right. You know, they have to be so much like, you're a strong man. You're on your armpits and you're like, I am a strong man.

Like that we actually fall for it. But what drives me nuts is, you know, when I'm going to the store and I want to go to your aunt, this is fine. Everything's named like cool rush or extreme blast or Arctic freeze. But like, what does that smell like? I don't know what this smells like. Exactly. Under my arms. Okay. Right. What does that smell like? Okay. Here's one. Big Mac. Here's one. Here's one that I think this would be very marketable to the gay community. Total freshness. That's it.

We need a simple and explanatory total freshness. Total freshness. Total freshness. Total freshness. Total freshness. I would do that one too. 11 o'clock member. 11 o'clock member.

I mean, I think a gay man would be like, you know, looking and be be like, um, mainly musk, you know, alpha man, total freshness. That's it. I'm out. It's true. I think that there are some that are named for single guys who are out shopping for themselves at the target that need the like white power fist or whatever you were saying before the Josh Holly sense. Yes.

Alpha male and then yes. And then there are kinds that are marketed to wives whose husbands no longer buy their own deodorant. Which I know, like to me seems backwards, but I know that that's still like a thing in the world. I see it at Target. Right. So I think that there are those cents to you

and they're all like candle sets. It's like sandalwood and leather. It's like the wife is like, oh my God. Fresh parchment paper. I think think I came up with this. Poms, can you please share with our listeners how you were battling all of the body odor that happens to you each and every summer? I wasn't battling body odor, but I did get really stinky after workout, Especially if I had to go somewhere

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with hint water. I hate to tell you you're right because I really do like the hint water. It's kind of the perfect little solution to my tea addiction. I know and you're drinking a lot less tea with sweetener now, correct? Correct. Because the hint water really does the trick. Don't say I'd never did anything nice for you. Listener, you can find hint water at retail stores like Walmart, Target, and Kroger, or have it delivered to your front door from hintwater.com. New customers can get hint for just a dollar, a bottle with free shipping when they order three cases. That's 36 bottles for $36 and free shipping. Just use the code had it at checkout. Okay guys it's time to play. Are just fantastic game called had it or hit it. Okay so I'm

gonna list some things you tell us if you've had it with it or if you like it so much you'd hit it. Oh my god welcome to had it or hit it. I would hit it. I would have it. I would hit it. I would hit it every day sometimes twice a day. All right. Had it or hit it. Brad Pitt. Hit it. I know it's Brad Pitt. Yeah.

Even though he's got all that controversy about building like affordable housing that was like built with like glue guns and cardboard and like crashed in on everyone's head. I still doing it. Yeah, I'm still hitting it. I'm still hitting it. And by the way, he probably doesn't even wear a deodorant, which I'm morally opposed to, but it's Brad Pitt. So hit it. Right, even if he smells bad.

Yeah, and I'm agree. He has aged incredibly well. He's 59 years old, you guys. I'm like, oh, he's almost 60. No, yes. But he was, he's like gorgeous, gorgeous, he was, it's not like he's someone who is ugly if that's aging well.

You know, like he was gorgeous. He was gorgeous. He was gorgeous. He's still gorgeous. He is, he is so hot. And you know talking to him, he's probably incredibly insufferable. Like it's probably gonna be one

of the most insufferable conversations that you have. And he still can be hot, which is a level of hotness that is like, unremarkable. It's like a higher elite level of hotness. It's generational hotness. You know where he was born, fellas? Oklahoma.

Oklahoma. Oh, well, there we go. There we go. I know. Okay. That's hot. I'd hit it. I'd hit Oklahoma.

Okay. Had it or hit it birthday months. Oh, had it. Had it. Had it. I've had it with birthday weeks. I've had it. I've almost had it with birthdays. Yeah, I'm kind of over it to you. Yeah. Yeah, had it. Big time had it on that one. Yes. Over celebrated. It's like, bitch, everybody has birthday. Like

you're not so special just because today, you're so as half the world. Exactly. My birthday is coming up. Birthday month. And plan a birthday trip. And let me tell you, the people who's birthday, who's been the biggest pain in the ass about their birthdays over the year, we have to go take a trip every single year for that. Every, none of them are going to come to my thing. Oh, what screw you guys? Screw your birthday month. Right. That shitty. They're not reciprocating after they've had you go on all these trips for theirs.

Yeah, that's bullshit. I oppose, I oppose birthday months, birthdays, all of those things. But next year I will turn the big 50. And I definitely want to have a very small trip, even though I totally oppose birthday trips, I'm going to be totally hypocritical, but only very small.

Me and my kids pumps her kids if they're all behaving. The kids could get asked off the list with the prodder immediately. The prodder for our kids now. Make sure you like, you better do some practice runs for the airport. You better be like, okay, everyone. My shit.

We got 30 seconds. My shit is so tight at the airport. I am a fucking stealth fighter. I go in. I fucking do that shit effortlessly. My license is out. I get fucking five gold stars. Take it to the bank. I am fucking excellent at traveling. Some people are, I saw you, I saw, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I have to say I saw something that you posted traveling where you were mad that somebody had their suitcase next to them on the the escalator thing going down. Oh, yeah.

You were mad that they didn't put the suitcase in front of you. I'm not surprised that you want a social rate. I saw that and I was like, she would, she would hate me. This lady is going gonna hate my guy. It's chaos on the escalators. I'm so glad you brought this up because I haven't brought it up in about 20 episodes. And now it's time to fucking drag out that dead horse and beat it.

Let me tell you what's going on in the escalators in the United States of America. Everybody's just laid out on the escalators. They're standing there. They have their bag next to them. They've got their Stanley cap. They're on there, they have their bag next to them, they've got their Stanley Cup, they're on their phone, thumb and through, fucking just horrible Instagram posts of somebody's fucking kid that nobody gives a fuck about.

And I've got places to go. I've got a heart rate to keep up. And then I hit this goddamn brick wall, and I'm like, you have to move over to one side so that people can pass. So the United States of America, we do a lot of things right. But the escalator situation is out of control.

And that is. Do you do, do you follow the Ben Mandelker patented method of escalator battery, which is that I, when I see this happening, I do the big clump clump with my feet, like, bump, bump, bump, which is like, you've got five seconds now. I'm taking you over. Because I'm clumping, okay? And then if they still don't move, sometimes I just let out a good old, excuse me.

And it works like a charm. Let me tell you what I've started to do. This is what they do in the UK. They don't fuck around with this. Passing on your left, and I just start saying it. Passing on your left, passing on like, you know the flat escalators, you know, that is completely unacceptable. Well, that's different.

Those flat escalators, the, okay, the regular escalators as a bigger person, as somebody struggles with their way, when you're walking through an airport, it's difficult sometimes, okay. So I see that escalator, and I immediately see lean machine. I go onto it and I lean onto it, I sweat onto it, I breathe onto everybody, I'm like, but the walking escalator is, you don't just stand there on a walking escalator or move your ass. You got to go. And if you're a slow walker, walk on the right, said that the psychotic fast walker, such as myself, can pass you on the left,

we can all live peacefully in an airport together. If you're on that escalator, you're gonna move over. Picture suitcase in front of you, be ready to be passed on the left. It's out of control. It really is. They've started to paint lanes. They've started to paint lanes on some of them.

I've noticed. Some say, like, yes, some say standing, some say walking, which means that the infraction is even worse because now they're literally told where they can stand and not stand. And let me tell you something. The club clump method on a moving walkway is it's fabulous because you have all that space to clump. You know, I'm going to adopt that. Yeah, that's a good one. Boom, boom, boom. You know, it's great. Like you sound like you're just like a a bowl like an Indiana Jones bowl. Right. It's coming. You know, it's great. Like you sound like you're just like a bowl,

like an Indiana Jones bowl. Right. It's coming. I'm taking you under if you don't make. I'm going to start doing that. I actually can't wait to fly again. Okay. Had it or hit it.

Toddlers. Oh, had it. Had it. No, I'm not going to say it hit a toddler. I feel like that's a trick question, honestly. I was just in. I feel like that's a trick question, honestly. I was just in, so I went to Barnes and Noble yesterday and I was in the cookbook section. And for some reason, there were like 15 children

running around in the cookbook section and I was like, why are there children running around in the cookbook section? And my friend who's with me says, oh, because the children section is like the next one over. But I was like, but still, why are they're just all over? And my friend looked at me and said, then you really think children are raccoons, don't you?

I'm saying this. Yes, I do. Oh, that's so good. Okay. Had it or hit it word art? Oh, God. You know what? They've gotten so creative with it that I'm almost

about to hit it. Really? I've just I've almost hit it. So long. You know, we came out with the thing that's in the gather font, but it says isolate because we've been over this for years, you know, it's like the home goods thing. I'm getting more into it now. I'm just starting to see it as being hilarious that people are so stupid they don't know where their kitchen is. You literally have to have a sign that says kitchen. Or like a bathroom that says you're in there, you're holding your wiener and you're paying into their toilet and it says bathroom. Right. Or there's no place like home. Or home is where the heart is. I've seen a of heart is. Just like Paris. There's a lot that just declare Paris. Like Paris.

Which is, that's Parisian abuse. You know, because you know the apartment that has that in it is not, is neither Parisian nor chic. And so, I mean, I think that's a disgrace to Paris. I want honest word art though. I agree. I agree. My husband's a lazy fuck.

You know, like a, like a, a cooking apron that says that or like, you know, the, don't do coke in my bathroom has been a funny one. Oh, that's a great. That's fantastic. That's fantastic. Or like my children are too ugly to be on the back of this car. People for the little stick figure. It's okay.

Had it or hit it? Citizen scientists. Oh, that is. Citizen scientists. Is that that's like an oxymoron right there? Right. No, I'm not I don't want my citizen science. Okay, not not whatsoever. That's a lady with the marbles in the bowl and the waters of the beast. Exactly. Shut up already. No one asked you if you know, we're like, everybody be careful that UV is six today. I'm like, I don't care. Oh my gosh.

She's like me. Yeah, congrats on getting polio again. So I had a like back when Facebook was, was still kind of cool, but not really. I was on Facebook and like a friend that I, I don't even know if I remember the guy from high school, but some day I graduated from high school with, makes a Facebook post to an article like some scientists

was like, we found, you know, some bones in the earth that are 300 million years old. So this guy, re-Facebooks are like post the article, and then he puts, as far as I'm concerned, the earth is 6,000 years old. Science has its theories and I got mad. And I was like, yes, I'm not, everyone gets a theory.

And I was immediately just like, what a false equivalency. Right, for you to think that your fucking theory holds up to these people that are really fucking smart, like nerdy geeky total smart people that have gone to school forever and like read about carbon dating for fun. And you think that your fucking Facebook post is somehow on the same playing field as this Harvard graduate. Obviously, I'm friend of them, which now I kind of regret because it could be fun to go back and look and have material for

the pie. You have to, I, so I like literally last week, just discovered that one of my friends is now a flat earther. And yes, like she put up a post that said, literally like you guys, the earth is flat, like she was a very blatant flat earther. And she has this whole thing about the firmament that everything we see, like the firmament, I guess is the thing that is on top of the flat earth, where it disks or whatever. And I'm fascinated because I never thought I would know a real life flat earther. Yeah. I didn't think that I'd be. Yeah. And I think that I should like my instinct

said, Oh, you should unfriend this person on principle, but I was like, no, the comedy is just you have to stay and I made it. I just air like questions like, so what? Tell me about the disc. I know, but sometimes you can't engage with crazy. You just have to watch it from a distance. Well, that's probably I mean, he poked that bear. Yeah.

Okay. And final had it or hit it. Housewives. Oh, that's probably I mean, he poked that bear. Yeah. Okay. And final had it or hit it housewives. Oh, hit it. Real ones are like real housewives or bravo real bravo housewives. Oh, it's we love them. Yeah, that that will never get old. Listen, crazy people will never cease being hilarious. I don't care. This could be in the biblical times we could be 2000 years in the future. That show will always be finally. I don't care. Yes. I'm less. Yes. Okay. Who should favorite housewives or can you say? Like of all time of all the seasons. My all-time favorite is Countess Luandela Saps because she's been on a journey from being like a hoidy toy toity countess who would like literally wrote a book about manners and etiquette to then getting arrested in Florida.

And actually, she managed to like get out of handcuffs. She who do need her handcuffs, which for that alone is kind of like put you top to here. And then she started a cabaret career. And then the middle of it, she had sex with a pirate. I mean, she's really fucking done it all. I love that. I would say, I have a tie between Lisa Vanderpump and Nini Leaks. Nini Leaks has the most like,

gif-able, most hilarious moments, but she kind of crashed and burned towards the end, but loved her forever. And then Lisa Vanderpump for just normalizing, like holding swans in your testimony. But like, her sw ankles, you know, things like that that are just like her pets. Magic.

Yeah, that's magic. I love it. I absolutely love it. Well, you guys, it has been so much fun. We absolutely love you guys. We definitely want to have you guys back on in the future and Kylie will put how to follow These guys and go listen to their podcast watch what crap ends down in the notes of our episode We love you guys so much for having it. It was so fun. I

For sure Bye guys Podcasting for 20 years, man. I told you their podcast was an antique. That is crazy. And we're like, we're the new shiny little penny. Yeah, and they're just the old guard. They're just laughing at us.

I don't know if whatever have that kind of longevity. We probably die between 20 years. I mean, I'm 80s. Oh, you would for sure die. Maybe 10, 20. I'm going tos. Oh, you would for sure die. I maybe didn't. I'm gonna soak it all up now. Well, listener, we cannot thank you enough for joining us, joining our fantastic guest, Kyly will put how to find them down in the show notes.

And I mean, I think that's all we got. Everybody please send us a voice memo to the I've had a podcast, Instagram to be featured on one of our bonus episodes or it could be played on one of our live shows at the hot shit tour, please go to our link tree and any of our social media bios and buy tickets to a city near you. We are going to do a global tour, right, Pops?

That's right. Global. Bye. Canada, we're coming for you today. See you next Tuesday or Thursday. Bye without the fans there is none of this Wednesday August night. I'm so honored to be here. Maybe you'll be right America's biggest super fans meet their superstar idols. Yeah!

And compete for a once in a lifetime prize. That is correct! I'm gonna take them through my new records all by soul. You can pick a song and we can sing it together on stage. And the title of Ultimate Superfan. It is up to you, America! Superfan! Superfan premieres Wednesday, August 9th on CBS,

and streaming on Paramount Plus. Superfan! Superfan premieres Wednesday, August 9th on CBS, and streaming on Paramount Plus. Superfan!