I've Had It - Karens Gone Wild

Episode Date: April 18, 2023

Jennifer and Pumps are joined by TikTok stars (and hosts of the new podcast "The Social Dose") Paris Nicholson and Michael Judson Berry to talk about what the hell is going on on the internet - or as Jennifer calls it: 'the World Wide Web.' Kiley defends her hashtag usage and also reads the girls some of the hilarious hate comments they've received online. The duo also cannot get enough of all the ass play pumps has been getting in the U.K. Thank you to our sponsors: I've Had It is brought to you by BetterHelp, visit Betterhelp.com/hadit today to get 10% off your first month. HelloFresh, Go to HelloFresh.com/hadit50 and use code 'hadit50' for 50% off, plus your first box ships free! Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps Special Guests: Paris Nicholson: @parisnicholsonMichael Judson Berry: @mjudsonberry

One, two, three. Oh, terrible. It's like a little, it's like a little sea line. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Better than an orca I guess. Orcas are cool. No, I know, but like they're so big. Oh, so pumps, what have you had it with this week? What I've had it with is women in particular.

Now, I think men are probably just as bad, but my experience is more with women. Okay. That I have never seen without a Starbucks kept in their hand. It's like an attachment like me with my Stanley. Okay. Never separated from the Starbucks. But when you meet them to visit at a Starbucks, they stand in line, buying the 27 people that are in front of them, and then they get up there, and they don't know what they're going to fucking order. I never go to Starbucks, and I know what I'm in order. Like, the indecision with ordering is one of my biggest pet peeves. I mean, it is one of my biggest, I've had it. Restaurants, particularly though, drink places. I think restaurants where you have to stand in line

to order, and you're in a long line, and then you've got some Yahoo that gets to the front, and mind you, they've probably been in line for 20 minutes. It's as bad as the TSA lines at an airport, and they're not prepared. It drives me crazy. And then they start interrogating the person about things that are in the menu when the menu's been in front of them the entire time. Right. And it's fascinating that somebody would not be overtly familiar with the Starbucks menu. I mean, like I said, I could have starbucks three times a year.

And I know what I'm gonna get before I even get out of the car. I don't have to read every menu item. I don't have to ask the clerk what his favorite is. That's another question that drives me crazy at restaurants and at drink places when they're like, what do you like better? Well, how do you know his balance even comparable? Well, what I don't like about that question is it allows the waiter to stay

at the table longer. There's more unnecessary small talk. It's kind of feeding the stray cat a little bit, right? You know, because then they're like, oh, well mine is this. And then it starts a lot of unnecessary chit chat with the waiter that and I used to wait tables. I did used to wait tables in college. I liked it when the customers didn't like to talk to me as much. Right. I like it in and out. A stealth waitress. Yes. Get their shit and move out of the way. You're blaming the waiter for the unnecessary small talk, but I'm blaming the patron. It's both. Asking the question. No, the patron does, but I have been in situations where the waiters start grandstanding.

Oh, no doubt about that, but I'm particularly talking about people that are like, well, what would you suggest? Or what's your favorite? But I think that that can prompt a waiter that's dying to grandstand. It gives him a platform totally. Yeah. And then you're sitting there and then they're like,

oh, these people really admire my taste in food. So I'm going to continue talking to them about my taste in food and maybe other things that nobody wants to hear about. And we can talk about his kids and the curry drives and all kinds of that. No, but people that are not ready, like I think when you get to the front of that cashier line, you need to be able to rapid fire, lock and load, rapid fire. Yes. Have your payment ready and then get the fuck out the way. Right. It's a total lack of self awareness.

Like number one, there's 45 people in front of you. There's 45 people behind you. No one wants for you to ask 50 questions about an item on the menu that you have had every opportunity for years to order. And I think that if you do you've not figured out the types of coffees that are available right by the time you're an adult and the types of milk that can go into that, I just maybe you need to give up drinking coffee altogether. Right, like if you are unable to order coffee, then you're just banned from coffee blackball shape.

Like if you can't order your coffee in under five, 10 seconds, then you're blackball from Starbucks. So maybe coffee should have a hit list. Great, I like that. Right, coffee hit list. Coffee, somebody needs to create a Twitter account. Coffee hit list. Right.

And then they could photograph the offenders and just start banning these people from drinking coffee. Somebody needs to step forward. We need a hero among us to step forward and defend coffee. Defend the other patrons that are waiting for you to order your coffee. I think sometimes all this fruity coffee is, that's not real coffee. Well, there's this new place that I mean, literally wraps around the building with people

in the morning getting their coffees. And I was asking one of my kids about it and they said it's like coffee and duck pepper and red bull all in the same drink. And I'm like, that's horrifying. Is that gross? I, that, this is exactly, I'm even more committed. If I had spare time, I would be the spokeswoman for coffee

and start the banning list because that place needs to be put out of business immediately. Right. Do you not mix soda pop and coffee? Coffee, red bull and Dr. Pepper, that is just disgusting. Yes. I mean, who would even want that? I guess a bunch of idiots that are rounded around the corner,

I've had it. I had it with Sam. I mean, coffee should not be bastardized so much. Well, Ms. Welch, what have you had it with? I'm going to go crazy today. Oh, I love the sound of that. I'm going to tell everybody something instead of that I've had it with,

something that I can't get enough of. Okay. And what I can't get enough of is how much ass play you're getting in the UK press. Oh my gosh. Yes. That is so embarrassing. Like, if I was capable of being embarrassed, that would be embarrassing. So listener, the half post UK and the daily star, which is also a UK tabloid, have both rolled out articles about the star of our show, the hot the hotter one, the hot one, cramming a teaspoon up her ass to constipate her. Kylie, would you share some tidbits from both of those articles with the listener?

Yeah, this is the daily star. Okay. How far would you go to get some particularly stubborn poo out? For one mother with nerves of steel and few boundaries when it comes to sharing things on the internet, the answer is very, very far. I think that's a pretty good description of me. She nailed it. Nailed it. I mean, the daily star, I'm going to tell you something. You nailed it. She has zero boundaries. Zero boundaries. Tell the listener about that time that you had this breakthrough in therapy and you came home and called me, what you told me and what I said.

I think I came to your house after therapy because I was like, we've had a breakthrough. I mean, like, I have been enlightened today. And I'm like, she told me, I don't have any boundaries. And without even missing a beat, you said, well, I could have told you that a long time to go for free. That's true. It's true. It's true.

It's true. It's true. It's true. Daily Star, you nailed it. It took her 10 years of therapy to get to the bottom of that. And the Daily Star got it in 0.5 seconds. 0.5. I mean, you say one little thing about a spoon up your ass,

and they just nailed it. I'm like, what? Those brits are clever. They are clever. They're clever. They're clever over there in the UK. Okay. Read some more about pumps' ass in the UK.

The Huffington Post UK. Their headline was just this woman's story about a teaspoon and post-birth constipation will haunt you forever. You see that? Yeah, you see that? I do. Your ass is literally an international sensation, particularly in the United Kingdom.

Okay. First of all, for the record, the permanent record, as you like to say, I never got it at my ass. This is what urban legends are made of. Okay. This is how it goes. Across the pond. This is just what happens. You said you used a spoon.

We add on, we urban legend type people. Right. And now the story is just gonna be that you crammed a teaspoon of grass and you have to accept it. And you have to embrace it. And you bear back it. And that's just where this story is gonna go.

And that's where it's gonna land. And for generations, generations upon generations of constipated pregnant women will share this story about you cramming and bear back in that teaspoon right up your ass. And I mean, I'm going to give it to the UK press. I am so glad that you guys are rolling this thing out because I think it is a story that needs to be told. It is absolutely a profile encouraged. It really is. It is a profile encouraged. It's very courageous. Thank you. I'm so brave. You are. So I mean, I love this ass play you're getting in the UK. Yeah, I think it's fantastic. Another thing I can't get enough of is you seem to have

pissed off the entire state of Florida. I know, but I'm like, I don't care. I mean, most of the people in Florida, buy, girl, buy, I mean, is this a double down Kylie? Yeah. I'm kind of a double downer. I mean, she is doubling down. Here's what I have to say to the thin, skinned Floridians. Right. We live in Oklahoma. I mean, we have no room to talk. We have a zero room to talk.

But one thing we, Oklahomaans have appreciated, because usually we're the assholes in the news. Sure. Always. We always have some idiotic politician doing something completely idiotic that embarrasses us. But lately, you guys have taken that away from us. Right. Right.

I did notice a lot of people from Florida were mad. They're really, really mad at you, which leads me to the introduction of our podcast. And I would like to say welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer and the star of our show in 49 states. Except Florida. Except Florida, which I think maybe I want to be the star in Florida now.

There's no way you could be the star in Florida. I am just the supporting star. And I mean, Florida, I'm here for you. I am. I was just in Florida recently. And one thing I appreciate about traveling to Florida is how young I felt. Right. Because everybody's all I went to Naples.

And I was just like, man, I felt like I was 25 again. Right. You could take to the streets and be like a young girl. I was hot shit. I did. This episode is sponsored by Better Health. I'm assuming, remember that time I made a big laundry list of everything that was wrong with my husband Josh and marched into my therapist office and made a presentation? I sure do very

vividly. And then the therapist flipped the script on me and was like, well, then why on earth did you pick him? It was at that moment I realized I needed to stop focusing on others and focus on the one thing that I could truly change myself. I'm a big believer in therapy. Currently, I'm working on how to draw boundaries with my kids. Good God. You probably need to schedule another session or two. The best thing about better help is that it's all online and suited to your schedule. It's flexible and convenient. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with the license therapist. Don't like your therapist. No problem. You can switch at any time for no additional charge. Discover your potential at better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash hadit

today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help help.com slash had it today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H E L P dot com slash had it. Well, today we are going to have on some pretty famous TikTokers. Excellent. And they have a podcast that has just been released called the social dose. Okay. And the stars of this show, our Paris Nicholson and Michael Judson Berry. Okay. So we want to talk to them about TikTok because lately we have had a lot of viral videos

on TikTok. Right. The most viral of which being the one about you cramming the teaspoon up your ass when you were constipated. Hello, Paris and Michael. How are you guys? Hello, Jennifer and Pome. Hello. Hello. Yeah, fabulous. How are you? Great. Fantastic. We are just here in shiny and sunny Oklahoma city. Where are you guys today? I am an LA and I'm in shiny and sunny Jersey city,

New Jersey. Paris, what have you had it with this week? I've had it with too much this week, Jennifer. I really have. But today, I'd like to go ahead and say that I've had it with wine culture. I was recently in Santa Barbara this past weekend celebrating a friend's birthday where we did a wine tour. And I swear to God, all those wines tasted exactly the same. And yet the whole time, they're like, I kid you not. One of the wines they described as having a moist, forest floor quality to it. There's a moist, forest floor taste. Like, what would you know?

Exactly. The other one said, smoked meat. And I said, there's no meat in wine. What are we doing here? It's fake. It's made up. It's a racket. It's just a way to sell grapes. I don't know. All wine is tasting the same to me. And you should never pay more than $10 for a bottle of wine. I've always said that. It's words stillify wine culture. I mean, that really is something that we haven't. That is is a good one really. I mean, because there is. The deeper you go, the crazier it gets. Yeah. And there's a lot of snobbery involved in it. And a lot of one-up being each other about wine knowledge.

There's a lot of grandstanding and dick measuring when you go out to dinner and people ordering a bottle of wine. I mean, I'm like, and then they taste it. It's like, they're all, everybody get your dicks out. Let's get the tight measure in this right now. See who says that gets out. Exactly. And instead of everybody bicker and over, what then they tasted it. They're all everybody get your dicks out. Let's get the tape measure in this right now. See who says that is. Exactly. And instead of everybody bicker and over what the best wine is and what year it is.

And all of this. And the sniff and the swirl it in the cap. And the legs, the legs. You don't know what the legs are. What's the fucking difference? I did a divorce one time. This was a hundred years ago. Like you got divorced?

No, well, I did. You did the divorce. So turn out my divorce attorney. So I had a case where it was a high money case or whatever. They didn't fight over the kids. They didn't fight over the house. The cars, nothing. They fought over the wine cellar. Like it was a death to the fence. I mean, gladiator style death over this wine thing. So we ultimately ended up, the other lawyer and I went over to the Marital Residence and it had this huge wine cellar. And we just flipped a coin on who got to go first

and drink wine and got it all settled. But we just did like, you pick, you pick, you pick. But I'm not talking, I heard more about wine and wine futures than anyone should ever have to hear. And I'm not talking. I heard more about wine and wine futures than anyone should ever have to hear. And I'm just like, I'm bored to tears by what you're telling me. It all sounds enticed the same. Yeah. Yeah. I think it is total when they explain it to you. And you're like, I guess I taste that where it's like, it has hints of honey with rosebud and little snippets of a mouse bar. And you're just like, sugar? I guess I taste all placebo.

It's like, right. Right, right. But you feel like you're uncultured. One of the best things that ever happened to me was an email that I received accidentally about 10 years ago. So I'm a member of a country club where I can play tennis, my kids can go to the pool, et cetera. And listen to internet, don't browbeat me

because I'm a member of a country club. But that's neither here nor there. So apparently the club Somalia was having an affair with somebody. So the club Somalia's wife gets all of the email addresses of like every single member of the country club. And she sends an anonymous email that says, did you know that such and such the Somalia of the club has been having an affair on his wife and dead and goes into details? Okay. And it was, I mean, I am like

tap the van, keep it coming. Fantastic. Was it a club member, I guess? I don't know if it was a club member or not. That he was having the affair. It was just that he was having an affair and then he was treating his kids and his wife like shit. Oh. Okay.

So I mean, sign me up for the newsletter. Every single person has copied on this email. So then like a couple of people hit the reply all and it's like, you shouldn't have sent this, but this one guy writes, my name is blank, blank, and you're at chicken shit coward. I love him. So I've known this guy's name for like 10 years, right? And I'm like, I love this guy.

Right. And the saying you're I love this guy. Right. And the saying, you're at chicken shit coward. I'm like, that is 12 out of 10. Right. Chicken shit. Chicken shit coward. I have been saying ever since then.

So one day, I'm at a client's office. He's an attorney and I decorated all of his office. And he's like, hey Jennifer, let me introduce you to my client, blank, blank. I mean, it me introduce you to my client blank blank. It I mean, it is as though I just met Barack Obama. I'm like, starstruck. What are you the guy that hit reply all in 2010 to the Somalia affair email? And he's like, I sure did. And I go, and you sure as hell aren't a chicken shit coward. Are you? I mean, this guy was so epic. But anyway, that Somalia was super naughty and the wife was super mad.

And I was there for all. Right. But I will say I do. I do. I'm not a sluddy Somalia. A sluddy small, small, a small yay. That is kind of fun. And I'm sure if it was one, it's been more because you always hear about the tennis

pro and their lifeguard, all that. But here's, I do not do with nocturnal sliders. Like if you don't have the balls to put your name on it, go fuck yourself. That was the guy's point. Right. Is that you're a chicken, shit coward. Right. If it's your husband, because it was anonymous, we all know it was the wife.

Right. Or her best friend, we're just deducing everybody fucking knows the wife wrote it and made a fake Google account. I mean, it's like when you're watching a date line special, you know the husband did it. I mean, you know, they drag it out an hour, but you know, the wife obviously did it. But I agreed with the guy that hit reply all

and said, you're a chicken shit coward. Right. You just say, my name is Mary Sue. And my husband's a small yay. He's fucking so and so and he's shitty to me and shitty to our kids. Like I would have more respect for that. Agreed.

Yeah, I agree. And I think that you can just make that a TikTok post and really get the message out that. Exactly. That feels true. This one, right, because the technology has really grown since 2010. Right.

So like this Somalia better watch out. But Michael, why don't you tell us what you've had it with this week? I've had to fly a lot recently and I'm actually about to go get in a plane right after this. So this is very fresh in my mind. I've had it with just poor airplane etiquette, if you will, but especially what makes me nuts. And I'm sorry if any of you are this person, but when the plane touches down, it's not even finished taxing, and people are already standing up and getting their bags. She's guilty, guilty, right here. Oh, no.

Yes. It's ridiculous. I'm like, where are you going? I'm going to tell you why. That's my head. I'm like, you're not going to get off the plane and be faster. It's not about where I'm going.

It's about letting my blood circulate better. I understand like wanting to get off the plane. It's not about where I'm going. It's about letting my blood circulate better. I understand like wanting to stand up for that. So more, I guess not that person. It's the people who then go into the aisle and start to as if they're going to get off the plane. Right. Like they're going to rush. I'm insufferable about it. No, it's in I admit that I'm a part of the problem, but I went something is over, I want it to be over. And I'll tell you what irritates me more than those people are the jet bridge operators. They know that plane's coming in.

Have that second jet bridge ready. And it takes some 20 minutes. And it's like, oh, the jet bridge is going up. Oh, it's the wrong height. Then we've got to bring it back down. Then they're going back in. I am in the aisle, I mean, panting like a dog running up and down thinking I need to get out of this plane immediately.

And this jet bridge operator needs to get their shit together and get them connected. Oh, I never actually thought about that as far as I can. Because you don't get out of your seat before that you even do the fashion seatbel. And Michael, she's telling you it's about circulation. It's just she has her panties in a wad. I mean, she's just dead. I mean, it's just we planted. Let's move on.

Let's go. Let's go. Yeah. No. Let me tell you guys one of the biggest dickovers pops is ever pulled on me. Okay. Okay. I can't wait.

We go on a girls trip, okay? To Mexico. And we're in our 30s and we had discovered and United Airlines doesn't really do this anymore. But at the time, when you checked in 24 hours before your flight, you could pay an additional like $99 at grade to first class. So on our way to Mexico, we all did this.

Everybody, all members of the girls trip got to sit in first class and we thought we were hot shit, okay? On the way home, we go under our United app and we notice there's only one first class seat. So we all unanimously decide that we will stay back in coach together, okay? And it was agreed upon because we were a we. Okay, not a me. We were a team.

We were a team. So we get in the car that's taken us to the airport to drop us off. And Pumps, I mean, she starts like squeezing her vagina. And she's like doing cables. And she's like, the jeans. I've got to get out. We all carry my suitcase in for me. I'm going to get on my pants.

I'm going to pee my pants. I'm going to pee my pants. I'm going to pee my pants. The whole thing was staged. She marches right up to get out. We all carry my suitcase in for me. I'm going to get on my pants. I'm going to pee my pants. I'm going to pee my pants. She, the whole thing was staged. She marches right up to the ticket counter and buys the $99 upgrade and left us all sitting in the back and coach and felt zero or zero guilt about the entire thing. Zero guilt. I stand with pumps.

I can't. I can't. Listen. That is what he can't respect. The commitment. Right, the commitment. The Oscar winning performance about Piss at our fans. Yeah. And our friendship despite this countryness, our friendship has survived.

Yes. And that's the true task of friendship. Right. If you're of friendship. Right. If you're friend under the bus, like a... Right, and you're in coach in the first class. So all of you out there that the cops is so downed earth, and she's your favorite. Just know that she will if I can take that seat with the remorse of a sociopath. I mean, there's none.

Yeah, I've done it to my kids too. I put them in coach. I said kids deserve that shit. Yeah, I've done it to my kids too. I put them in case I said, kids deserve that shit. I didn't deserve that. It was in high school, though. She deserved it. Kids haven't done anything with their lives yet. Oh, my God, Pumps.

I have had it with inaccuracy of my takeout orders. Oh, my gosh, you've got to start using HelloFresh. It completely takes the hassle out of mealtimes. Oh, gosh, you've got to start using Hello Fresh. It completely takes the hassle out of meal times. Oh, you are so right. Hello Fresh is the best. As you know, I am not a pro in the kitchen, and Hello Fresh's full-proof recipes arrive pre-portioned and easy to prepare in just a few steps. I mean, the kids in Josh think I am a new woman. The best thing about Hello Fresh is there are no trips to the grocery store. You don't have to Google recipes. It's just excellent food delivered straight to your door.

I have had it with grocery stores and take out food. And if you have to go to HelloFresh.com slash had it 5-0 and use code had it 5-0 for 50% off, place your first box ships free. That's hellofresh.com slash had it 5.0, use code had it 5.0 for 50% off, and your first box will ship for free. Hello fresh really does make your life easier. So let me share with you all, you guys are TikTok famous. And we are new to say that. We are new to TikTok and we do not operate our TikTok. Kylie, our esteemed producer operates our TikTok.

And I'm gonna share something with Pumps. And with you all that I discovered two days ago when I was looking at our TikTok feed. So I open up one of our TikToks. It is our most viral video, 8.5 million views of Pumps talking about cramming a teaspoon of aras, but that's neither here nor there. Okay, you can read about this in the press in the United Kingdom. Okay.

Nonetheless, I look at the hashtags in Kylie has been throwing us under the bus with these Hashtag. Listen to this. Hashtag, Karen's gone wild. No, it's real. That's cool. Yes. So Kylie is going to... Kylie, would you please defend yourself to the social dose and to... I've had it and tell us what's going on with this hashtagging. First off, it's working, isn't it?

It's working. Okay, I'll argue with that. To Shay. To Shay. working, isn't it? It's working. Okay, I'll argue with that. Tammy, you're welcome. To Shay. I do want to read you the Karen Urban Dictionary Definition. Okay. A middle-aged woman. Okay.

Check. Right. Typically blonde, check. I really, it's that's typically blonde. Makes solutions to others' problems and inconvenience to her, although she isn't remotely affected. So that's a thousand percent.

Yeah. Well, it's true. Yeah. Please, getting there on the high road. So what are the hashtags you have? It's the promise of this pod. Exactly.

Hashtag Karen's going wild. Hashtag Karen's of TikTok. Karen. Hashtag Karen talk. Anything with Karen in it, I'm, Clay. How's tag Karen's going wild? Hashtag, Karen's of TikTok. Karen. Hashtag, Karen talk. Anything with Karen in it, I'm hitting it. Wow. The people agree. Yeah, I'm not going to lie.

Actually, this week, I saw one of your TikToks make its way to Twitter, one of my friends, free tweeted it, and was like, I'm obsessed with these women. So Kylie needs a raise. She's doing everything right, trust her. So I want to talk to you guys about TikTok though, because I'm kind of new to it. I mean, I started one during the pandemic and I did a few dances because we were all, you know, and then it takes a lot. And I'm not techy enough to like produce that type of content.

So Kylie does it. But I recently was watching like the, um, the hearings with that CEO of TikTok who was super impressive, by the way, like the way he's right. And so cute. Darling, I missed him, I guess, because you're not on TikTok. Uh, right. Because you're too busy outcarining. I'm too busy outcarining. She's using spoons apparently. Right. I'm too bad for her name. She'll be spanking my eyes. Using spoons apparently. Right.

Right. Forks and knives. Stilling first clothes. Tickets. Yes. Stilling first clothes. What kind of trends are going on on TikTok right now that y'all are covering? That's a great question.

Yeah. So on our podcast, the social dose, we cover the hottest trends on social media, what everyone's talking about. And most recently, I'm not sure if you saw this. Are you girls on Twitter? Yes. Did you see on Twitter? Yes. Did you see the AI photo of the Pope wearing like a long white Balenciaga puffer jacket?

Yes. Where he looked like one or three on his dancers. Yeah, that was great. Oh, that was. So everybody thought that was real, myself included, because when it comes to AI generated images, there's like a couple of things I'm familiar with. Like, AI is really bad at rendering hands.

So if you look at a photo and you're like, is this AI zoom into the hands because they'll look like a weird mushed up like spaghetti pile? Great tip. The hands on this photo were perfect. They were perfect, normal, pope looking hands. So I was like, oh, it has to be real. And even Chrissy Teigen tweeted,

she was like, I thought the pope photo was real. We all thought the pope came out with this look and was like stunting on these bitches. But it was all I. A I thought it was a real, we all thought the Pope came out with this look and was like stunting on these bitches. But it was all I. A man named Pablo, who's a construction worker who said that he actually was tripping on shrooms

when he came up with the idea to use AI to make this image. And now we all get to enjoy it. Yeah. I thought it was, and I thought it was so current because we all just saw the Rihanna with the hard answers in the white peppers, which I loved that whole performance. I thought it was so great. But I thought he looked really cute

in a Balenciaga prefer. Oh, I think the pro ticket violin. Yeah, I think we all need him to get this. Right. So you guys get, we get a lot of hate comments on TikTok, which we love. And so Kyle is going to share some of our hate TikTok comments with you guys for

feedback. Okay, real quick though. Do you all get hate comments too? I promise. I am very lucky. I get very, very few hate comments. Oh, here's a simple killer. My close-up popularity maybe we're just assholes, mate. We're carons. We're caring. Everything I do typically is shits Creek related and shits Creek is so beloved by people. Yes.

Like a source of happiness that no matter like you are, usually it makes, if you find me, it means you love shits Creek and so you usually tend to enjoy it. So the worst I guess people being like, your Johnny impression could use work. Right. Your videos are reaching a much wider demographic. So you're going to find the lovers and the haters and they're all going to do it out in the comments, which is great for your engagement. Oh, yeah We want to focus on our the haters because I I am so flattered

That people that dislike us take so much time Out of their day because to me that requires more emotion and more commitment than a compliment And so Kylie would you share some of our hate comments that we've received on TikTok? You two are working on my fucking nerves. You need to get lives. You fucking are complaining about everything and everybody need to get fucking hobbies. Well, clearly, there's not this thing.

This is the hobby. This is the hobby. Oh my God, that's so good. Clearly, there now is the hobby. This is the hobby. Oh my God, that's so good. I have to tell that person, this is just the fucking tip of the iceberg. We've only been a podcast for 4 1.5 months. I mean, we're just revenue engines.

The complaining is about to fucking skyrocket to the moon. Overdrive us. Who's next? Okay, this is from a girl. Why do you think any of us care about what some 70 plus year old ladies have to say about anything? Seems pretty narcissists talk to me. Not the ageism.

No. Right. Like even if you all wear a-plat, it's like you just still have voices. You still have the tears of your dude. That's right. Here's what I want to do, the people that say, why do you care?

In a comment, I want to be like, why do you care? Why do you care? Why do you care? Why are you commenting? And they'll be back with them. Why do you care? I mean, like, we may be 70, but we'll sit here and do this shit all fucking day because when you get older,

you don't give a fuck. That is the beauty of age. But I mean, just for the permanent record, for the permanent record, I am significantly younger than Pops. Four years is not significant. Any standard. By any standard is fine.

Because when you're, I mean, you're in your 50s and I am not. And that's why the, you'll be 49 in three minutes. Not three minutes. Change to look. Format. Sorry. Right. That's it.

There's a difference there. There's a difference. Yeah. A whole month. A lot can happen in one month. A lot can happen in one month. Read some more hate comments for us, kind of. Yeah, these are great.

Okay, I have a couple of these that back up my hashtag usage. Okay. Which one, the Karen? Mm-hmm. Okay. I'm guessing you guys have a huge fan pool of hateful carans. Actually, we don't actually the carans don't like us. They don't. Really? No. No, because we're too progressive. I was gonna say I get that. That's where I guess. Carans can be progressive. I was gonna say, I get that. Like, what's wrong with you guys? Herons can be progressive.

Karen's, I mean, aren't Karen's kind of like the January 6th? You know, I think Karen's just like a overmother or helicopter mom and everybody's business. The Karen's are like your local neighborhood terrorists. Exactly. Exactly. And here's the deal, I don't participate in anything in my neighborhood. No, my neighborhood. My life is about making it as small as absolute possible.

Yeah. I love that. Yeah. I feel like the reason you all get so many hate comments too is because you're really good at rage baiting. Have you heard of this before? No. No. Yeah. But I'm intrigued. It's something that like some content creators will do. Basically, you do or say something that is naturally so infuriating that people can't help but have an emotional reaction and then they go in the comments to like give you a piece of their mind. But because you're bringing up so many things

that frustrate people and like your main thing that you talk about is things that are pissing you off and that you've had it with, that is listening to an emotional reaction and hear listeners and your commenters and they're like, oh yeah, I hate that is listening and emotional reaction and your listeners and your commenters and they're like, oh, yeah, I hate that too. Or they're like, how can you say you hate that? Like, it's listening strong emotions, which is, again, great for your engagement. So Keith, off what you're doing. Well, pumps just pumps is a great rage

ator because she just trying to be she just pissed off the entire state of Florida. A couple of that's a good one. Yeah. Yeah. And then she doubled down on to do that. All on because I said when they were talking about a principal got fired because he showed Michael Angeliz David and I in Florida. And I said, they should just annex Florida off the planet. And people just talking about this. I mean, it's true. Like they're horrible to LBGTQ people. They're banning this. I mean, it's true. Like they're horrible to LGBTQ people. They're banning books.

I mean, there's a lot about Florida that just needs to go, period. I used to live in Florida, actually moved to LA recently from Miami in November. And the way I've always described Florida is if you were to take the country, turn it on its side and just kind of shake it violently, all the people that didn't have a firm grasp on reality trickled down in my life.

And that's what we have Florida. Paris, now they're going to hit you more than me. Thank you. Yeah, but anyway, the rage baiting pumps is particularly when it comes to Florida, she's nailed it. Right, but I didn't know I was doing that until he just said that. I think it's great. You're really good at it. Keep it up.

Accidentally great. Great. Keep it up, Karen. I will say I heard you heard with one hate comment that I was able to find. Oh, sure. Like I'm prepared to share it today. Please. So I posted a video. There was a TikTok trend going around where people were sort of posting a photo of themselves now, like looking good. And the quote is like, I wish I met you earlier.

And then you cut to an embarrassing clip of yourself doing something when you were younger, right? Okay. So I did that. And somebody commented, let me see. It might do. I went to college in Florida at FGCU. They said, and you were also extremely rude to people when you were at FGCU. But anyways, oh! people when you were at FGCU, but anyways. Oh. Someone's got a grudge. And I commented back.

I replied because I don't get these opportunities very often. Right. I commented back. I said, I'm a very nice person to people I don't know. If I was rude to you, you deserved it and I stand by it. Oh, I love that. I'm not just rude for no reason. I've never been rude for no reason.

Right. How about somebody all these years later going on your TikTok on your TikTok, they're still mad about it. I wonder if he or she did you know the first thing about you all the time? I had no idea. I tried to like click the profile. It's just like a random profile. I'm like, I don't know who you are,

but you know who I am. That's right. That's right. See, I'm with you, Pairs. I think it's somewhat flattering that somebody takes so much time because if I don't like something I just simply cease putting energy into it.

Right. Immediately. It's an immediate cease of energy. And so to actually hunt you down and watch their obsessed with you. I think they really like you and Cal live in their head rent free. Yes, you do. It's really important to find the humor in these hateful comments because really they are hysterical when you really think about somebody sitting there typing with their keyboard courage just wound up and Karen and you're 70 like

Come on come on. This time is me on From keyboard courage. I've never read before and that's really and is that I'm new to this Oh, keyboard courage. Yeah, I thought you just came up with that on the spot and I was really, really impressed. Well, I mean, she is sharp as a tack, but now you are. It wouldn't surprise me. I mean, the keyboard courage though, it's like I was talking about another episode about like all the boomers on Facebook, which by the way, internet, I want to tell everybody we are not faking boomers, we are gin-exers. Did someone say we've got all the time?

They keep saying they're boomers, and I might know. 70 plus. We are gin-exers when you watch stranger things, and you see those kids on bikes in the 80s, that was our childhood, minus the demagorgan, or whatever it was. But anyway, I digress, but the boomers on Facebook, I mean, they are just the keyboard courage and you know, they're sitting there,

fucking Bob or Dan is sitting there with a resting heart rate of 160 acting like he's going to take on the federal government. And it's like fucking calm down, Dan. You know, they've got nooks, resting heart rate of blood. So you know, they do and they're sitting there rate of one. You know, they do. And they're sitting there with the bald eagle emojis and all that shit.

And it's just like, listen up, you're not going to be able to make it to the front door. All right. Summer down. Get off the Facebook. Turn off Tucker Carlson. Okay. Enjoy your retirement.

Enjoy yourself. Let yourself have fun. Right. Let life be joyful. Get on that TikTok. TikTok. Get on that TikTok application. That's right.

Well, guys, we cannot thank you enough for joining us, educating us about TikTok, because I really think it is a super cool app and I find myself spending more and more time on it. When you notice a little follower soon, and how I'm sure your TikTok name will be pumps, pumps, pumps. Right, like your Instagram name. Yeah, I will definitely follow y'all.

We'll make sure she follows you guys, and I'm gonna keep an eye on her for you page. And listener, Michael and Paris have a new podcast that talks about and breaks down TikTok trends called the social dose. And as you can see, they are darling, darling precious, precious little darling. So please follow them on TikTok and other social media and go hit up the social dose for all the tea on TikTok. Thank you so much, ladies. It is such a delight being here. So fun.

Uh, Michael and I, since our last little chat have been saying that he's the pumps and I'm the geno. Yeah. I totally see that. Yeah. And pumps, I am on herbs and one geno for we even matched like we're both wearing black, you two are wearing white, like we did. That is true.

Michael, would you, would you go still the seat from Paris? Would you do that? Would you feign having to pee your pants and then go still that first class seat? I a thousand percent would. I feel like my opinion is leaking everywhere, even with these pants. And then I would totally snag that first.

I'd be like, sorry, Paris, bye. Sorry, bye. Don't get it twisted. By the way, I lost his phone. I need to go find that. Had something else. I can't sneak up on anybody. I'm just rattling and cladding. Well, you guys have a wonderful week.

And we hope to have you on again soon. Good luck with your podcast. And we hope to see you on TikTok. Yep. All right. Bye, guys. Have a great rest of the day. Bye. They're so cute, bye guys. Bye guys. Have a great rest of the day. Bye. They're so cute. So cute. So fun.

Kylie, I think this is something that we need to do. I think we need to set up your TikTok. And then weekly, I can check your. For you. Yeah, your for you page. OK. So we'll do that. Now, I have embarrassingly enough, because y'all are talking

about what's on your TikTok page whenever I get on TikTok. Because Emily left it on my, like her app is on my phone for some reason. And I do the cheerleading competition routines. Oh, yeah, like those cheerleaders. Like the serious, like stenting, like crazy stenting cheerleader. That's the only thing I've ever Googled.

Well, you know what TikTok, you know what you cannot find that you're going to have to put not interested. Listener, poms had a horrible addiction to Dr. Pimple, popper. Yeah. And she would stay up all night till three or four a.m. in the morning, watching these extractions.

I had to stop. And she had to stop and she's currently sober from Dr. Pimple, Pimple, popper. How long have you been off the Pimple Popper? Gosh, I would say probably four or five years. Congratulations on that subordinate. Because I could just spend hours, like, congratulations. Four years off of Dr. Pimple Popper. You need to be careful because on TikTok, I think there's a whole algorithm with like

in-ground hair extractions and pimple popping extractions. There's a whole thing. So it could be a minefield. Right. Like, I disappear for days on in. You'll know that I've gotten on the TikTok. I do not want anything to happen to your recovery from extractions, okay? Because four to five years subred, that's impressive.

And we commend you. During the COVID deal, I got into earwax, removing earwax. So these four to five years are a little, there's a relapse in there. Might be. A little bit of earwax removal. I even got one of those machines

that ultrasound's to your phone. I didn't have any earwax, which I was so disappointed. I want to leave the listener with a very special story. One time I had an ingrown hair very close to my vagina. Yes. I remember it well. So I called pumps to come over to extract it. She arrives with a bag full of supplies. She immediately puts on a full of supplies. She immediately puts on a headland around her head with a head lamp on it and she has all these tools. Yeah. No gloves. Just went right in. Goes right in, right towards my vagina with the tools and the headlamp extracted the ingrown hair pulls it out and she's like going, oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god.

You put a thought she was the one having the orgasm. She loves the shit. So love it. Yeah, I have all the tools. I have the head gear. You have to have light. But you know, I'm getting my eyes are getting so bad. It's getting harder and harder. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think that maybe it might be time for you to retire. Yeah. You really need to take your recovery from all of these extractions to the next level. Right, but only a true friend would go into an ingrown hair in your most private area. It is love. And I just went right in there and never even thought a thing about it. Right in.

Zero gloves. She went right in there and just, which why wouldn't I've had gloves? I smoked at the time. Like, I had 7,000 pairs of gloves. Why didn't I put anything on? That's just how much you love me and my vision. Again, we're continuing the Pumps Lesbian arc. Follow along on Patreon. Listener, you can hit us up on Patreon. But this has been a wonderful episode. So much fun. Very eye- Very fun, very eye-opening. Very eye-opening.

And I'm not really offended to be a Karen. I just think it's too IE. I'm kind of... Please subscribe, follow, rate, review. Subscribe on Patreon to follow a lot of things that we're going to be covering about Pumps' sobriety from the Dr. Pumper Popper. Any relapses.

I am going to be filming her algorithm on TikTok and sharing that her for you page. With the Patreon users, I will try to update that at least once or twice a month to see how her algorithm is evolving. Right. See what I'm really interested in. Yes.

And follow us on social media. All of it. Like shit, rate shit, just do that shit. And I think we're gonna do live streams on Patreon, we just haven't quite figured out when. Yeah, we're gonna do live streams on Patreon. And then other than that, pumps tell them, we will see you next Tuesday or Thursday.

And what does all that mean? Cut. I'll tell you, it's my fun week. Go. Cut. Oh God tell you, it's my fun week. Cut. Cut. Oh, God. All right, by listener. By listener.

What I'm having with. Look here. I'm having with that. And action. What's up, everybody? I'm Sarah Gretzky and I'm Natalie Buck. And we've definitely been known to cause a scene. So whether you've been to show this weekend or you don't even know what a streaming service

is. Don't worry because on causing a scene we've got you covered from Netflix to Hulu and everything in between. Grab your popcorn or your martini and get ready to cause a scene with your new best friends every Thursday.