I've Had It - Live Laugh Love with Gigi Goode

Episode Date: December 14, 2023

Jennifer and Pumps are joined today by the queen, Gigi Goode. Gigi has had it with all the BS that comes with adulting, inspirational quotes and loud talkers on public transit. Gigi gives the girls some tea on Mormons at the gay bars and rats on herself by admitting that she's an axe murderer. Jennifer identifies a new red flag in the corporate world that all of us at the I've Had It "family' need to watch out for. Come see I've Had It live on the Hot Sh*t Tour! More info & tickets available at https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast and subscribe to I've Had It wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you to our sponsors: BetterHelp: This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. In the season of giving, give yourself what you need with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/HADIT today to get 10% off your first month. Gravity Defyer Shoes: Don't wait and head to GDEFY.com and use code HADIT30 for $30 off orders of $150 or more. Peloton: For Peloton’s best offer of the season, head to onepeloton.com/dealsAll access membership separate. Terms apply. Factor: Head to FACTOR MEALS.com/hadit50 and use code hadit50 to get 50% off. Shopify: Sign up for a $1 per month trial period today at Shopify.com/hadit. Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps Special Guest: Gigi Goode @thegigigoode

So we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready, one, two, three. Oh, that was bad. One, two, three. Still bad. I can't hear. Is it bad? Is it bad, as I think?

Just try again. One, two, three. Okay, we're much better. Judge Judy Diana is here. She is one of the greatest legal minds of this country, which is the biggest crocus shit I've ever heard. Go ahead. What have you had it with? I've had it with people that chew their food with their mouth open. It's the worst. It's so gross. I remember even as kids, we would be like, chew with your mouth closed. Yeah.

But you can't say that to an adult. Yeah. Remember did you ever ask somebody, do you like seafood? Well, I don't and I can see yours in your mouth. I mean, it's gross. And I just had it happen the other day and I was horrified. You know who does this sometimes?

Who? Josh. But you can tell him to shut his second mouth. I'm constantly like, what are you doing? Like he's just talking to me full blunt talking and he will chew the food towards the front of his mouth. So you can see it. Yeah. Oh, it's open. And I'm just like, for somebody who cares so much about their outfits so obsessed with their beer and their pubic hair their hair Changes three outfit changes in one day. Where's an outfit with socks and shoes and a belt to lounge around the house Where he sometimes Choose the food with his mouth open and the only thing I can take this back to is

He was you know born and raised in rural Oklahoma. And I think that that's still, that's one of the things that's still alive in him. Yeah, that he's trying to cover up with the outfits, but you can't cover that shit up if you eating with your mouth. You can be dressed, you can have a $5,000 worth of clothes on. Like you're the biggest hot shit gentleman on the planet. Right. And you're chewing food with your mouth open. It totally, the gig is up. Yeah. Everybody knows you're just a straight up country bumpkin.

Had it, had it. Which you had. Oh, it. Okay, let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay. This is a new, you know how we like to identify things that are red flags. Yeah.

Okay. Inspirational quotes, that are red flags? Yeah. Okay. Inspirational quotes, Bible verses and bios, red flag, have a new one. Okay. Businesses that refer to themselves as a family. That is so true. So true. It is a red flag.

Right. If you're doing business with somebody and they say, we're like a family. Turn around and run for your life. Yeah. Cause you know that means they all hate each other's gets and it's a toxic workplace. It means it's just like an Instagram feed where somebody, like some of the people that write the most horrific hate comments in our Socials, I'll click their their bio and the bio description says

Live laugh love And it has like a sunflower in a piece symbol live laugh love when you're not being a cat Yeah, and then that's just cutville USA in the comment section, right? So I think Any company that is trying to say that they are a family, they're covering up corporate greed, probably massive dysfunction.

And they think if they roll out the name family in their business branding, number one, I think that's kind of dumb because a lot of people don't like their families. More often than not, people don't like their family. At least extended family for sure. And the family is the one thing in life you can't pick. Right, you're stuck with these motherfuckers, right?

I mean, you're stuck with them forever, right? And in business to then call a family, it's just like, oh my God, I've had it. I think it's a red flag. I agree. I've got my antennas up immediately. I'm telling anybody that mentions to me that their business is a family. I'm going to turn around and get the fuck out. Run, run, run. It's an immediate GTFO. Yeah, I agree. That's a great point. And people I feel like are doing that more and more lately. I've had it. I've had it.

Okay, I have a couple of things I found on the World Wide Web that I want to share with you. All right. Okay, one of them was posted by Doc Bastard, and he posts, it has taken medical science 200 years to advance humans to the point where people are so healthy and living so long that they can deny that science and medicine is what got us here. It's a pretty valid point.

Right. That we're living so long that maybe there's boredom in longevity. Right. I would have to think I really am one of those people that's like, if I hit 85, I want to call it because it's just straight downhill from 85. I feel like your board, you can't drive. I'm surprised. You know, you talk about how old you are that all the time, I'm surprised. You're not close to calling it now.

I know you've got bangs then calling it. Bangs first then called. Yeah, I mean, it's just a steep slide downhill. In rapid-fire succession. The bangs are knocking on your door. I mean, they're running. Yeah, it's imminent. Imminent. Okay, the next one, it's just a little,

you know, I really like immature humor. And so, instant alcoholic on Instagram post this meme. And it says, when you wish your parents understood English when they named you. And as a picture of the scale, and her name is, Macat is itchy. That cannot be right.

Here it is. Read it and wait. McCut is itchy. McCut is itchy. McCut is itchy. Oh, that's bad. Oh, it's good. That's so sad to have to go into middle school with that name because they make fun of

every name. Yeah, I really wasn't looking for empathy here. I was looking for how hilarious that is. No, it's horrible in every way. I know. I really got to get a chuckle out of it. Everybody, welcome to I've had it. This is Ashole Island.

Yep. Pumps is the pretty one. She is the legal mind. I am the smart one and the supporting role here for her. And we have Kylie here with us. Kylie is our fearless producer. Kylie, what's going on on the worldwide web regarding, I've had it.

First off, I think we should shout out to our listeners because we posted the political typology quiz. Oh, yeah. That proved you were not a centrist. Oh, yeah. Nor was pumps a little bit less. Right. And so everyone took it.

Everyone's progressive left. I love that one. That one. That one's centrist in our followers. You know what? Our followers are smart. They are smart. Our listeners are smart.

They're locked in. They are positive, smart, and cynical, and good looking, good looking, gorgeous. I have noticed that at the live shows everybody smart and attractive. I think that's great. We flip the script. They comment. They call me a some centrist, and then we say, well, what the fuck are you? Right. You take the quiz. That person was a faith and flag conservative. There's no doubt comment. Yeah. No doubt at all.

Yeah. Okay, I have a five star review I want to read you. Okay. It's from good review, right? It's what their username is. I love when older gay women can have meaningful conversations with younger, straight women. I'm the straight one, right?

You're the young, straight woman. I'm the young, straight? You're the young straight woman. I'm the young straight woman. Yes, he, our listeners are smart. Yeah. Sharp as far as. That's right. Then you immediately, you were the old lesbian, and I was the young straight. I like it. Yeah. I like it. I'll take it all day long. Okay, you want one more? Yeah. Okay, five-star review. Okay. From I love Gabby. These women are my mothers, lovers, sisters, confidence, and mortal enemies all at once.

You broadcast on the worldwide web, everything I think every God damn day. It's so nice to see two people on their way. parentheses very, very soon out of this world. Managed to be this negative. I Love you so much. I will never stop calling any and everything a goddamn racket because of y'all by the way pumps I need help getting into the iCloud. Please can you send your social a-sup? She will She sure will was zero fucks given immediately

Immediately it's already out there on the worldwide web Your iCloud login my iCloud login and I gave it to that amethon spam place my that was that was smart Yeah, security number, so you know, I think that you know our listeners You know they're advocating for you and your security. I saw a lot of comments for people No, I know. I was obviously a bad move. I just missed it. Just whenever my head.

Yeah. Both times. Both times. And dare I say, they'll be more. You know, I wish I could say pumps don't be so negative. Don't beat up on yourself. There's not going to be more. But I do believe there will be more because I've been your friend for 20 years. Right. And there's not going to be more, but I do believe there will be more

because I've been your friend for 20-20 years. Right. And there's no question. I'm just gullible. That's just the bottom line. Okay. Before we welcome this next guest, I have to tell you guys, I'm going to start a new segment on the show.

And I found a listener sent me what is now my new favorite Instagram page on the planet. Here's the first one. It's the words are set on it. Image of the ocean with the waves, okay? Okay. This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends. That's exactly right. That's an inspirational quote I can get behind. Love it. 100%. The next one. Have a panic attack. You've earned it. That's the truth. Okay, here's this is great. You're not the same person you were a year ago.

You're even worse now. That's absolutely one of my favorite things I've ever heard. It's great. Here's another one. You are exactly where you're supposed to be because you make terrible decisions. Oh my God, I could have that tattooed on my face. Right there on my forehead.

After each hack that happens to you, I can say, you can go, God, I wish I would learn. I'd say, no, pumps, you are exactly where you're supposed to be. You manifested all of these decisions. Yes. Terrible decisions. Yes. Okay, here's one. Prioritize your mental health.

Avoid other people as often as possible. Oh, true that. Totally. Do you want another one? Yeah. Okay. One day, you will find what you've been looking for, but by then, you probably won't want it anymore. Is that not the truth? Yeah. Be careful what you wish, where you just might get it. How many times have you heard that? Last one. You did the best you could, which is pretty sad.

which is pretty sad. And this has been today's readings of disappointing affirmations. Yeah, all true though. Do you like that new segment? I do like it. Yeah, I like it a lot. I have been deep diving. Because this is the type of quote that people need to hear. Exactly. All the cliches and all that.

It's just platitudes, obnoxious. No one really feels better after they read, live laugh love. Nobody's like, you know what? I'm just going to embrace that and go for that. I disagree. You think they do? They do. They do.

It's like they're putting, just a layer of denial. It offers them a layer of denial. But I think they do feel better. Or you wouldn't see so many pages full of them, but it's a bandaid. All of those positive affirmation quotes that aren't rooted in reality are just band aids that people use. So like like if I totalled my car and somebody said, live, laugh, love, I would just be like, invigorated and just, I'm just gonna get a new car and it's gonna be great and I'm not gonna worry about all the other stuff.

Like you think people really do that? I think a lot of people, like I've met people and they're like, well, you know, it was just, they, they believe that there's a reason for everything that everything happens for a reason. They believe that. And this is the inspirational quote world. You know, these quotes help them because I don't think everything happens for a reason. I think there's just a lot of fuckery, coincidence, good luck, bad luck. You know, I think a lot of people do a lot of negative things and make a lot of negative choices that lead to horrible prizes at the end of that. And I know that because I've done

it numerous times. And some people make good choices and good decisions and they lead to great prizes. But everything happens for a reason is so dismissive about all of the human suffering that is happening in the world I think it's just one of the oh you know what else gets me. What? It's a god thing We do send that back and forth quite a bit though. What you and I do. It's a god We got tongue and cheek. Yeah, perhaps you'll send me a text like can you believe that happen and I'll respond? It's a god thing send me a text like, can you believe that happened? And I'll respond, it's a God thing. It's just can't explain.

It's just a God thing. I guess I'm just so cynical. I just find it hard to believe that that would really change your attitude. Like seeing an affirmation or a positive quote that that would make me like, I'm just gonna change everything I think and how I feel because of that.

I think there are some people that, and I'm not even knocking what I'm about to say, that they're in complete despair, right? And they read some of those things and they're looking for anything, anything to cling onto to alter the despair momentarily. And I think sometimes those prove to do that. Now there are the people that traffic in these 24, 7,365,

which is the red flag of all red flags. Yeah, because I think there have been times when I've been so desperate and downtrodden that something like that, I'd be like, okay, it's momentary. Yes. This isn't forever, but just to traffic in it, I just find that absurd. It's the inspirational quote, trafficking all the time. And you know what's interesting.

I'm going to revisit this. If you go to art like most controversial grenades that Kylie's dropped on social media, where people are just bickering back and forth in the comments section. And you click the most hateful ones. Their bios, it is cupcakes, rainbows, and sunshine. It is bio fraud.

And then when you look at the post, they are trafficking, they are inspirational quote traffickers. Right. They're masquerading on the internet and their bios as positive people. And then it just, you know what, they can't help it. They can't rip ass. They are ass rippers in the comments section. That is kind of funny though. Yeah. Now, I love the disappointing affirmations. Kylie, do you like those? I love those. Have you seen that account? Uh-uh. I can't believe you've seen something on social media that Kylie has. And I'm very

impressed. Kudos to you. I'm the smart one. I'm chock full of great ideas. And so I just wanted to provide an alternate to the inspirational quote world. Love it. Love it. Okay. Listeners, you know what? Kylie, if you've seen this, there's like a person on YouTube that is like, please for the love of God, quit referring to us as the listener. We know that we are the listener. So listen up listener in the YouTube comments section. Just go find another podcast. YouTube comment section. Just go find another podcast. You know what I mean? Like that out of all the shit we say, that's the controversial part.

That's the one that gets her going. The listener part. Can't make everybody happy. No, we can't. Nor do we want to. There's a lot of people we want mad at us. Oh yes. A lot.

Anyway, listener. I think we have to introduce our guests now. Our next guest is a drag queen because you know how much we love drag queens. Love them. And it pumps his advanced age. She really, really enjoys the art of drag, don't you? I absolutely love it.

Makes me so happy. And so our next guest, she is a model. She is a mogul. And her name is Gigi Good. This show is sponsored by Better Help. You know, Pumps, every family has big get-togethers, lots of pressure and stress by gifts, and sometimes you have to be around that crazy uncle and that can completely stress you out. So I think this holiday season, I'm going to give a gift to myself with better help. I think that's a great gift to give to yourself because the holidays with all the fun that they are are very overwhelming. There's a lot of pressure, a lot of expectations to meet. So I think

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How are you doing? We're great, we're so excited you're here. You are first and foremost, so gorgeous. This is ridiculous how gorgeous. Oh, thank you, thank you. So Gigi, tell us what you've had it with. You know what I've had it with? I'm so glad you asked.

I just have to say I've had it with adult I'm so glad you asked. I just have to say I've had it with adulting and being an adult and all the responsibilities that come with being an adult. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. My gosh, it just gets on my last nerve. Let's break that down because I remember specifically being little in thinking stuff like when I'm big, I'm going to do what I want. And when I'm big, I'm gonna do what I want. And when I'm big, I'm gonna do this and that. And I don't know why when we're younger, or even in high school, it never really sinks in at any point how difficult adulthood is going to be

until you are actually one. And yet every adult that you come across tells you, you know, one of these days, you're going to grow up and you're going to have to take responsibility. And yet we're just dying to put on a suit and hit the big city. But, uh, surprise, surprise, it's really hard. Yeah. I remember in college being like, I can't wait to get out of college and start my life and done it. And now I look in college being like, I can't wait to get out of college and start my life and do do do do do do. And now I look back and think, that was the best, easiest time,

like high school and college or the easiest times of someone's life because you really don't have a ton of responsibility. Yeah, you have to go to school all day, but you don't have to, you know, financially you're not responsible for yourself. You don't have like all the other things that go with adulting.

You're like life partner decisions aren't bound forever. Yeah. The good old times, simpler times. No, I remember thinking the same thing except in college I couldn't get out fast enough. I dropped out after two years and that's when I moved to Los Angeles and I was like, I've had it with college, actually.

And I just thought it was time to grow up. And I am thankful that I did that because if I hadn't, I would have graduated during the pandemic on Zoom. And if I hadn't done that, it wouldn't have led me to where I am now, but gosh darn it. It's just, it's a lot. Let's talk about the things that we have to pay for that really cause me like that I've had it with.

And I'll give you a couple of examples of the stuff that really irritates me. Gasoline for a car. Yeah. I cannot stand going to pump it, putting the gas in it and paying it because you don't get to hold it, you don't get to look at it. You only see your tank go up to full and then it's only there for a brief moment before it starts dipping again. It is the most unrewarding money I spend and also like car insurance. Yeah. Oh my God. And somehow it just keeps changing. Like if you get an accident, my God,

you have to get more expensive car insurance. And I get in a lot of accidents. Do you, are you a bad driver? Actually, no, I'm not a bad driver. And I totally lied. I don't get in a lot of accidents. But my car gets side swept all the time because I live in LA and you can't just,

God forbid you park on Melrose without someone backing into you. So, you know, at this point, I've just stopped taking my car and together Paris, which is another thing that is very adult, that I just don't wanna have to do. GG, we wanna play a game with you called Hadit or Hit It. Oh my God, welcome to Hadit or Hit It. I would hit it, Hadit. I I hit it every day sometimes twice a day. Had it or hit it?

Loud talkers on planes. Had it. What had it? Especially red eyes. Oh my gosh. I was on a red eye a couple months ago, I think. Yeah, and it was everyone was trying to sleep. The lights were out like, read the room. You do not need to be gabbin' with your neighbor. So loud, they didn't even know each other. Oh my gosh. That's obnoxious. You know, I think that people,

one thing that I've really had it with, and pumps is an offender and my husband is the offender. It's a win. Yeah, when you're in a hotel hallway. Yeah. The hallway of a hotel, both pumps and my husband raise their speaking voice about 10 octaves. And I have to look at them and go, shh, people could be sleeping. Like, but I mean, I, it, both of you, I don't know what it is when you both get off the elevator. I'm like,

oh, Kylie, I get like yell something down to the elevator and Jennifer's like, what the fuck? And I'm like, oh my god, you're so right. So bad. It's a bad habit. So specific. Yeah, because I've never really noticed that. I've been in bed in a hotel room and I hear these Yak-Mals out in the hallway. And I'm like, shut the fuck up. This is like a house. And this is the hallway of the house. And if people are sleeping, you have to be quiet. And I mean, Pops and my husband both, Josh is every bit as bad as you. He just starts screaming. I'm like, we were just on the elevator and you weren't speaking that loudly. We were just in the room and you weren't speaking that loudly. There's something about the hotel hallways that makes the volume go.

Yeah, I don't know what it is. It's interesting. You just want to yell. You either want to yell or sprint down the entire always. Exactly. Start running. Okay. Gigi had it or hit it. Feather Boas. Hit it. What?

Yeah. Who doesn't like feather Boas? Have you had it with feather Boas? I love them. I love them too. When my daughter was shanker, every single book report that she did, she would put Feather Bowas all over it.

And so I just for like three years, I just had Feather. I love it. It was great. We always knew which one's more true. That's a great touch. It was. Yes, that is a great touch.

I think, I think, I mean, we've all grown up with like the chicken Feather Bowas, which are great and timeless and will never leave. But then you kind of graduate from that to the little like the skinny maribou. And since being a stage performer, a drag performer, and being in this world, I've come to discover ostrich feather boas. Oh, nice.

Which are nice. Like the utmost in luxury, so expensive, but just so luxurious and they just make whatever you're wearing look so rich to me. I love an ostrich feather I do. I love fancy. Okay. How did it or hit it, bell bottoms? Ooh.

This is hard. I've gone through a lot of waves of bell bottoms. I have. The first time I wore a bell bottoms was when I was about six years old and I dressed as Ozzy Osborne for Halloween, which I don't know if they've ever wore bell bottoms, but it was my excuse to wear a long wig as a boy and my mom made the costume. So I think she made me some bell bottoms. So I wore those. I've worn bell bottoms on drag race. I don't, I'm gonna say hit it.

I'm gonna say hit it because you can always style a bell bottom. I agree. I especially like a bell bottom when they're like really tight at the waist and through the ass and the upper thighs. You know, and then with that slight flare that starts at the knee, like a slight mermaid, not a full long bell, but like when they're really tailored, I love that

look with a blazer. I would rather like a boot cut type bell, you know, like I think right now that's where I'm at in my fashion journey. But I mean, everything, the pendulum swings. Okay. So the bell bottoms will be back with a vengeance. I agree. in my fashion journey, but I mean, everything, the pendulum swings, okay? So the bell bottoms will be back with the vengeance. I agree. Had it or hit it, inspirational quotes.

I don't know. I think if I had to choose between an inspirational quote and like a kind of dark humor type quote, I would probably choose the dark humor. I agree. Type quote. Totally agree. I don't need, I don't want inspiration in the form of words. I can't read. No, I'm way more into dark humor.

That brings me more joy and inspiration than an inspirational quote, because I think somebody was smart enough to be that dark and that clever and that inspires me. But just word salad positivity is such a jet stream of bullshit. I think it's a red flag. And you notice the people that post these a lot, I have found are the most fucked up people I know.

Yes, it is like a sort of self affirmation that you're not crazy. Exactly. Exactly. In fact, you are. And you know what, you know what, it does so much better than just an inspirational quote, I find recently I've never been into this.

And I'm not sure if you are, but astrology, I've gotten really into astrology, just living in LA and you know, I have a, my friend Harriet, she reads tarot cards and she does horoscopes and it's, the horoscopes I've found, if they are written from a point of just somebody with a completely clear spiritual mind, I found that those usually give me way more security and affirmation than like, you know, a cat hanging on a branch in a doctor's office. I hate to be the skunk at the Garden Party GG, but I, I've had it with horoscopes.

Have you, or I should be? Yeah, I think it's old junk science that was used, that was invented before modern science. And I think it's dated, I think, if astrology inspires you, kind of like maybe some people are inspired by, you know, a religion or something that helps them center themselves, I don't oppose that. But I think what I oppose is when

people take astrology or religion and they present it as fact, I really had it with that. Or like live by it to like the, the, the, the degree, you know, right, right. Yeah. I don't know. I like to read it because I like to see how somebody's words maybe fits with the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the's just fun. More fun than the original quotes. I think it's way more fun. Way more fun than inspirational quotes. But I remember one time I read like every horoscope that I found, I'm a Leo, but I read every single one to see if I could relate to it and I could. Okay.

Yeah. All 12 signs because they are rather ambiguous, you know, but it's funny like on on social media because our followers have gotten to know us well and they'll be like, you know, but it's funny like on social media because our followers have gotten to know us well and they'll be like, they'll find out when I was born. They're like, I knew you were a Leo, that makes perfect sense. Yeah.

You know? And so I just, I know a lot of people that were born around the same day that I was and we have completely different personalities completely. And so I just, I don't know. I think sometimes people take that stuff a little bit too seriously, the same way that maybe they take an inspirational quote too seriously. And I'm kind of, kind of had it with that. But I don't want, I don't want to demean your love of astrology. You

like it because I like a bunch of crazy shit. Okay. Yeah. Also to why I'm a crazy bitch. You're a max friends. Pumps, I have had it with walking around in shoes that have all the comfort of a bed of nails. And my feet have had it. I mean, my whole body has had it from my perfectly manicured blown out here to my pedicured toes. I have had it with foot pain. Well I have a solution for you. Gravity to fire shoes. These shoes are so comfortable. You'll wonder if you accidentally stepped into a parallel universe where foot pain doesn't actually

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Making your own rules. Absolutely. Being the boss of you. I love it. Being in charge of yourself and guess what? With the Peloton Bike Plus packages, you get to be the boss of your very own exercise class. That's the best news ever. When you spend your hard earned money, you don't just buy a peloton, you open the door

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I'm enjoying where I'm at right now in my relationship. But yeah, to me, it's always scared, like it's terrifying to me. Because you never know what could happen. You never know if this person's gonna be an ax murderer. Right. You know, they don't know if I'm an ax murderer. Right.

So, and I am. So sometimes it just gets a little lost in the weeds there. But the dating apps, I think, are what scare me the most when it comes to those things because how can you talk to somebody for like exchange five messages back and forth and then just like fully trust that you can go over to their place where they live alone. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know. That scares me. Okay. This has fascinated me forever. Okay. So I have always had a lot of gay male friends like from my late teens early 20s on. And so one night like right when Grindr came out, I'm at my friend's house, and we're all on the phone. I was like, give me that, give me that Grindr thing. I want

to check it out. So we're on it. I'm like, okay, so just tell me like, you just, you just, how big is your dick? Are you a top or bottom? And then you just go to the house. And then you open the door. Is it awkward, you know? Right. And he's like, no, we just, it's transactional. We just get down to business. But listen, listen to this shit. So my friend, he does like a grinder type thing. And he goes to this house.

He lives in LA at the time. He goes to this house. And he goes in and there is a guy that greets him and everything's normal. And then they pull this other guy out of the closet and he has on like a leather, like zip, like bondage. That's terrifying. Style mask with the leather. It was all consensual. Like nobody is a hostage here. It's all adult consensual. And he has on like the leather SNM things. And then like two other guys come out and they just have this like huge like sex session.

Okay. And he describes that to me, which I will spare everybody from hearing. A lot of you would probably like it. Some of you like pumps probably pass out. Probably pass out. But of course I asked every pertinent question that a sick mother fecker would. And then, so then I'm like, okay, so when it ended,

what happened after y'all were up to all of this nonsense? Like, was it normal? Does anybody feel weird? He goes, no, we just like all popped a beer and then walked on the front porch and spoke to cigarette. And I was like, really? That's the right idea. Because like in the straight world,

like there's so much awkward, posturing for breeding and like, people for breeding. Like sexual, like rituals. There's so much, so much more finessing and awkwardness, but in gay culture, it's all of that is gone. It's so much more transactional. It is.

I think there's a lot more emotion tied to it too outside of the gay and queer communities. You're right. It's very transactional. And I mean, I think if you had talked to me about that story in college or in high school, I probably would have been absolutely shocked in the wilderness. But now that I live here in LA and I pretty much exclusively friends with gay people, I mean, this is like a very regular thing that happens.

Totally. I mean, a lot of the parties that we host or attend will have like a dark room in it. Yes. You know, it's just a room with that you can go where all the lights are off. Wow. How about it? But yeah, for me, it's going to be, it's going to be a no for me. Wow.

The door is open. You know, you're from Illinois. We're from Oklahoma City. And so it's, you can understand because you, like you said, if you were to hear this for the first time a few years ago, you would have been like, oh my gosh, so the first time my friends told me this, but I'll say this because I don't want anybody to think we're prudes or judgmental of people that want to do this. And no kink shaming obviously.

Absolutely not. If these, they're all consensual adults, they don't have the puritanical hang ups and all of the, the stuff that really tortures people about enjoying sex. I don't have the puritanical hangups and all of the stuff that really tortures people about enjoying sex. I don't have any problem with it at all. But as a side listener, I find it kind of fascinating because it is fascinating. In the straight world, there's so much more like mating ritual that has to go on.

You're right, it's the mating ritual. There's a mating ritual thing that kind of has to go on. And when you first meet them, you're meeting the best version of themself. Because what they want to say is, hey, can I binge you over and feck you right here? That's what they're thinking. But they can't say that to a woman. Maybe some women make it. So there's all this awkward, you know, these awkward, I remember when we were younger and

dating, there's all these just awkward you know, these awkward, I remember when we were younger and dating, there's all these just awkward exchanges that go on. Yes, yeah. Totally awkward. Well, you know what's funny is that I think when it comes to the progression of a relationship in the straight community goes, you know, dinner, movie, and then you fuck in the gay community, you fuck first. And then if that goes

well, you get dinner, maybe. Right. And then if that goes well, that's when you start like going on an actual dating journey, but it's completely opposite. And somehow it makes perfect sense. Listen, I support the gay journey better because here's a better idea. Here's why I do not like to have sex on a full stomach. Yes. Well, neither the gaze because they've only got one option. So, you know, I think it's smarter. I think get the find out if you're sexually compatible, get it right out of the way, right out of the gates.

Because I'm at the age now, we're having dinner with somebody would probably be more awkward for me than actually having sex with them. I completely agree. I would rather just have sex than go to dinner with somebody on a line. Yeah, it'd be easier. Dinner comes if we had a great time, we can have dinner. But you know, it's I think. And there goes, if we had a great time, we can have dinner. But you know, I think about like people who are very strict

about no sex before marriage, right? And so imagine being with someone and like really falling in love with somebody and saying, I'm gonna wait until the Lord tells us that we can fornicate. That's so stupid. And then you have sex and imagine it's just awful. It's awful. You're married. Right. The first time is always awful. Anyway, the first couple times.

Yeah. And then what if they have like, they're terrible, like a gyrator or just something horrible? I think that'd be terrible. I think it's the worst thing on the planet. I have been deep diving in Mormon TikTok lately because I like. Yeah. And these Brigham Young University students are getting married after knowing each other four to six weeks. They're like freshman sophomores in college for the sole reason that they can fuck.

You know it's not great sex. I mean, you know it. And you know it's the guys you know they think they're good sex. And you know they're fucking Jack Rabbit, horrible lays, horrible, horrible lays. And I feel so bad for these Mormons because they're out there, all they wanna do is fuck, but they think they can't do it.

They can't do it. Yeah, they can't do it. Yeah, I mean, I'm telling you, I think this get I think the gays are onto it. The time to be sex first. And so I know so many so many gays that I know are ex Mormon. Really? It's it's it's it's like such a common thing. I actually I performed in Salt Lake City about a year ago and it was, I don't know if it's called Fleet Week, but it's essentially the Fleet Week for the Mormon.

It's just all these Mormon boys about to go on their missions. about to go on their missions. Right? And so, and I was performing at a gay bar, and it was the busiest night of the year. Hold it. Wait, can't the break. These guys are about to go on their mission, and they were at the gay bar the night before. That's so good. The same thing happens with, you know, okay, let me open the floodgates to another thing. Let's do it. Since coming out as trans and living my life as a woman fully, the dating pool has completely flipped around.

And now it's so like a lot of the people prior to dating who I'm dating now like I would be on the apps and I'd be on hinge I'd be on Ryan I do all of that and most of the people who would slide in would be like military soldier Like a lot of law enforcement a lot of like very I Don't know just like that very stereotypical man's man type person. And it always seemed, oh, and athletes, so many athletes, my god, the athletes love the dolls. But it was always very like, no, like, I don't want to take you out on a date but please come over

type thing. So I don't know it's like if you're wondering what all of these conservative men are doing behind closed doors, I know so many trans women who have slept with so many different politicians and it's just like such a common thing that I'm of course I'm not surprised that these repressed homosexual young Mormon men are trying to get their rocks off the night before they have to leave for two years. Right. Two years, my God. But here's something that I want to say that I think is such a shame that homosexuals and trans people and people in the gay community, all LGBTQIA plus have to experience that needs to be said. So you're used as a polarizing force and political discourse to play Kate to the Bible Thumpers. So they feel like they can attach themselves

to purity culture and misogyny and capitalism and all the things because the drag queens and the trans people, that's what's faking up society. But the underbelly, the underbelly of that is a lot of these people, and this was what surprised me when I would got on my friends grinders. How many of these men are married heterosexually with children that want to go have sex with somebody in the community and have naughty sex with somebody in the community, then drive

home to their wives, go to their church on Sunday, go vote for Donald Trump at the elections. And it's such a double exploitation because I was a shocked as shit when I found out how many quote unquote straight men frequent grinder gay bars in these other apps that are at church and, you know, trot out that, you know, they're probably the type of guys that do those family photos with the air 15s, you know, that the kids got it. Oh, my God, yeah.

Crazy as people. You know, they're probably doing some butt stuff. I mean, you just know it. They are. And at a certain point, it's like, I think the initial reaction, especially from within the community, is kind of hatred and disgust towards that, but I feel really bad for these men because clearly they have lived a life that is so repressed and, you know, their beliefs have been just

like hummeled into them week after week, month after month, year after year. And they, and now it's, it's really led to, it's almost been forced out of them, like they have to, they have to get this off their, out of their system in order to feel like they are of sound mind. I don't know, I just feel bad for them. You're a better person than me, because I think they're about to affect a hypocrite. I see your point. Don't get me wrong.

I have a lot of fuel and hatred towards these hypocrites, but I can't help but feel bad for the way they were raised. Like I'm sorry that you were raised by who you were raised by. Yeah, and I think that you're a better person than we are, Gigi. I do. Well, Gigi, thank you so much for sharing this. You are absolutely beautiful.

Yes, you are. Thank you so much. See you later. Bye. What I love that has been happening lately is like JVN, Gigi Good, when we are playing had it or hit it. They're torture.

And I stump them. Bell bottoms, bangs. I love that. And they really want to answer it really mindfully. They do. And thoughtfully. And they're so tortured by which way to go on it. And I think this is going to be like our new thing is we're making had it or hit it.

How do we torture these people the most? We would have more fun than we're tortured they are. It's so good. It's just the little things, Pumps. The little things. All right, listener, thank you so much for joining us. Please go give us five stars on Apple.

Follow us on Patreon. Send a voice memo to Instagram and check out the hot shit tour. The link is in the bio pumps. Tell them we will see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both.