I've Had It - Merry Griftmas

Episode Date: December 25, 2025

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so are we supposed to start the podcast ready one two three patriots gay trots they treat it's black triots brown triots and mage of people can do what pumps fuck off that there she is there's our little i mean that's my one claim to fame is that fuck off and i know i have to say it keeps getting better it really does i think it really fires up the face, the listenership of I've had it. I think as stupid as we feel doing it when we're in a studio with guests, like serious guess. It's embarrassing. I remember when we did it in front of Zoran, Mom Donnie, and he just kind of like busted out laughing. Yeah. I always feel like I just want to like put a bag over my head and do it and then take it back off and pretend it never happened.

But in these moments where it's just you, me and the listener and Kylie. it feels yeah it feels great right because it's like we're just by ourselves yeah there's four of us here that's all that's it me kiley the listener seth if sometimes seth is in when he's he's in the background you guys as he's editing he's on in on the stream all right the star of our show america's greatest legal mind the princess diana podcasting pumps what have curtains what have you had it with okay what i've had it with and i mean i've had it with this every day at least once a day. I've had it with people running around calling the Department of Defense, the Department of War. That is the biggest little dick energy teeny weeny peony I have ever heard. When you have to

say, I'm a big boy, I run the Department of War because I'm a big war soldier. It is so fucking juvenile. It just shows how unsurious this administration and Pete Hegseth are. And just every time I hear someone call it the Department of War, it's like cringe, cringe, cringe. And so that's why I had just such a giggle when the last Suck Trump's Dick cabinet meeting happened. And the Secretary of Wars, Plackard said, Secretary, spelled s s like they can't even fucking spell only congress can rename a cabinet department so everybody calling it the department of war all you're doing is telling me you have an inferiority complex you feel very insecure and that your dick is less than two inches rock hard and

that's my story and i'm sticking to it i just find it so offensive yeah you know these insecure emotionally stunted men I just feel like the gig is up like it's just so they they the insecurity the little dick energy just it's just so cringy to watch and then all of the people surrounding them that try to fluff each other up it's it's like watching all of these people in a homo social relationship trying to fluff each other up no you're pretty masculine no you're pretty masculine. I know you're pretty masculine. And it just out of the male. Yeah. The brokenness of these men, I wonder if it's linked to young men feeling lonely and isolated because the people that could be their mentors, you know, ambient mentors out in the world, are these

dipshits. And that would be pretty depressing, which brings me to my grievance, which is dealing with the other gender, I've had it with women that have full-time jobs, getting on television or podcasting microphones or interviews, telling other women that they need to value marriage and children and staying at home. And these women are doing this from their full-time jobs. They are away from their children, have child care, working 40, 50 hours a week, weaponizing their gender to use to suppress other women. And the through line in all of this fascism that the Trump regime is doing is misogyny.

And they have intentionally weaponized these women like Bondi, Eric Kirk, a lot of these right-wing influencers, Megan Kelly. All of these women are career ones. women. They all have careers. Yet they are telling other women, you need to value marriage and you need to value children. It's none of your fucking business. What other people value or what matters to them. First and foremost, this is a bullshit thing from the Republican Party that the Democrats need to respond to. And the Republican has had ownership in this for like 20 years. We're pro-family party. Well, duh. Who's not?

pro-family. I mean, that's just, when your policies as a party is you have to say something that is a foregone conclusion, then we know you're actually not pro-family. What we know is that you're only pro a certain type of family. Right. That you're an absolute bigot when it comes to other families, that you probably look down upon interracial families, that you look down upon upon families where maybe it's two lesbians or maybe two gay men, you think it's your business and you think you can quantify which families are better and you think you can quantify which women can work and which women can't because you're a party of codependent toxic busy bodies that like to crawl up in everybody's ass and park there and deal with this bullshit stuff

instead of actually if you were pro-family and you were pro-women, you'd shut the fuck up and get to work in Congress and do something that made a difference, but you don't. It's all propaganda. And women in this country do not listen to these grifting women that think it's their business, what you do in your private life. Some women may want to be housewives and breed and have a bunch of kids. Great. Swing for the fences. not my fucking business some women may want to be married and have kids and have a career great swing for the fences it's not my fucking business what i do want to remind women is that there has been a lot of work before all of us have arrived at this woman at this moment by a lot of brave women to make sure that women are safer and there's still an ongoing fight for wage equality

which has still not been realized yet and a lot of women as these christian women are out there propagandizing these very dangerous messages it's very important right now on this christmas day right now there are women all over america that are in abusive relationships maybe a relationship with an active addict or an active alcoholic they are either being financially controlled or abused. The children are being financially controlled and abused and witnessing all of this. And if you really care about women and you really care about families, don't prevent exit strategies for people getting away from abusive relationships. Right now on this Christmas Day, there are a lot of women in tears that feel like they can't leave

because they don't have money because their husbands have kept it all from them. This isn't all families, but it's some families. And this idealism that MAGA projects, this 1950s housewife serves the martini and the steak, suicide rates among women were much higher back then. The data of all of this stuff is not that we were greater back then. as daunting as it feels to be an American right now, we're actually better because we have leaned into equality more and leaned into lifting up marginalized people and really brave women that fought really hard for Erica Kirk and for Megan Kelly and some of these other women

to have full-time jobs. These brave women took huge risks and really did the civil rights work for women to progress. And so as you're sitting there demeaning something that a lot of women fought for your right to do, you are endangering women. You are endangering children and you are endangering the thing that you claim you love more than anything else, which is family. Here's the thing. The tired Republican argument of we love family, we are so pro-life. bullshit. You're pro-birth. You don't want any social safety nets. You don't want paid family medical leave. You don't want anything that facilitates making it easier and better for a parent or parents. And my follow-up would be I was raised in a system of internalized misogyny

because evangelical Christianity, white evangelical Christianity, makes people believe that women are subservient to men. So you got to take a look at that. Why does the Bible, why do these people allege that men should be the head of the household and women should submit? I'll tell you exactly why. It's in the Bible and they want control. They want to control women. They want to control their sex lives. They want to control how much money they have. And there is nothing good that comes from making women be subservient to men because old white men have been in charge forever and look at where the fuck we are.

And to add to your group of women that sit there and platform this idea that women should be trad wives, I think about the social influencers that are making a gazillion videos a day about how great it is to be a trad wife. Being a trad wife on the internet is a full-time fucking job. And let's not forget,

there are some women that don't have choices. This model assumes women always have choices. That is not the case. So I completely wholeheartedly agree with you. I think the Trump administration and the Republican parties latching on to, you know, Project 2025 and all of that, it makes women less safe. I completely agree with you. Go get them, pops.

All right, welcome. I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Kylie's here. kiley oh my gosh look at our little ho ho ho santa's helper i'm your ho ho ho you're a lesbian santa helper i am it's a dee it's a dey christmas here it i've had it i'm a de i love that dey christmas nailed it yeah it's a dey christmas at i've had it podcast everybody is welcome

except for white racist maga fuckers yep actually any maga fuckers Yeah, I was going to say, yeah, across the board. Yeah. Okay, today I want to go over an Instagram post that I saw with you guys, and I'll describe it for the listener. So the Tony Michaels post this. It's a photo of Trump walking through like a field of flowers, and it says, you've heard of elf on a shelf.

And then the comment section did not disappoint, so we're going to go through it. So you've heard of elf on a shelf, but have you heard of elf on a shelf, but have you heard of? Petto in a meadow. Shit smear on the frontier. Poopy pants in the plants. Abuse of powers in the flowers. Wow.

Arterial clots in the forget-me-not. Dementia on an adventure. Disaster in the pasture. Irritical in the botanical. Putin's palm. on the lawn. Oh my gosh. So good. People are so good. Brain dead in a flower bed. Man child in the wild. I love this. Cunt on a hunt. Oh, that's good. Insurrection in the flower section. That's so good. Lard in the yard. Cognitive decline on a vine. Crazy in the daisies. This is the last

page I got. Zero morals amongst the florals. Bubba blower with no lawnmower. No. Looking for Bill on the hill, skidmark in the park, small peen in the green, labial neck folds in the marigolds, and tiny handsies in the pansies. And it went on and on. That makes me feel so patriotic. Yes. That makes me realize, listener, we're still here.

We've still got it. America is still here and we've still got it. That was so gorgeous. and that is that is america at its best right there truly it's creativity it's smart it's uh clever it's cunty it's so good kiley that was a christmas miracle i needed to feel faith in americans and that that was an absolute christmas miracle a plus plus plus plus plus plus love that i mean that was so good my cheeks hurt from laughing when i saw it my christmas Christmas.

I opened that comment section and I, I mean, I felt warmth. I felt like I felt like I felt like totally. I feel I feel like I want to put a flag up. Do you know, that makes me feel patriotic because God, these, these fucking page, Hey Patriot. I'm just, I'm so, I mean, like, I feel like there's a national fatigue of these dipshits. Are you feeling that?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, but I just wonder if it's me. No, I think it's real. I think it's totally real. I mean, I just think everybody's like, shut the fuck up with your whole identity being the Trump fight, fight, fight video or photo and the American flag. Shut up. Shut up. You got him.

You got him three times and look at where we are. You fucking moron. And here's something. I'm just here's just a sorry. Kylie, stay on the screen. Everybody needs to see it's Santa's helper. I've had it with like this whole thing of like, we need to, you know, have an offer ramp and have a place for these triple trumpers to come land.

They're never going to like us. If they triple trumped, it's over. You have to get our own base out. The cool people that wrote all these comments sections, there's a bunch of those people out there. I completely agree. I get so tired of hearing that because if, first of all, they're down to like, what, 30% of the country? You just have to cut bait and say, we're never going to reach them, peace out. We're going to vote for your rights, but we're not going to try to endear ourselves to you.

I completely agree, totally agree. I also think there's so many more of us than it feels like. And like when the bot thing came out on MAGA and they're all from Nigeria, they're all from India, that was the most comforting moment. for me because I was being gaslit this whole time. I'm like, there are not this many people that believe this. Exactly. It proved me right. It's all fake. Yeah. I mean, there's real ones. I've met them. Yeah, we know some. I'm related to them. Yeah. Every year, billions of dollars are spent on gifts that gather dust, but the greatest gift isn't something you wear or display. It's feeling your best. Superpower helps your loved ones take control of their health. So,

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Okay, I've got some news stories. And this one is pastor, and this is real before you even ask, Angie. Pastor who farts on the faces of his congregation to heal and cure them with God's power is going viral. It says a pastor reportedly farts on people's faces as a healing process to cure all spiritual and physical problems. Pastor Christ Penelope of sevenfold. Holy Spirit Ministries has created a buzz online for his unorthodox method of healing people after a photo of him sitting on the heads of people, apparently farting on them went viral. According to the pastor, farting near the person's nostrils is important so that the healing

power can enter the body to do its work. Quote, it started with Master Jesus when he stepped on Peter. It is the demonstration of God's power, just like God made Adam go into a deep sleep. It's a similar thing. I have some photos of him. For the listener, the pastor is literally sitting on their faces, farting on them. I don't even know what to say about this. This is so unbelievable.

Like, I'm sitting there going, are you sure this is real? Because how can this be real? And then I think all the crazy shit that Trump does and says, no wonder people buy it. and they're not offended because they're going to church and their posture sitting on their face and fucking farting. Like, what in the fuck is happening? Why is this okay? Like, I don't understand.

All I'll add to this is I always think like there's no more reasons for me to be an atheist. That's been determined a long time ago. And the evidence just keeps rolling in as to, oh, here's another reason. why I'm not into religion at all and think it's all a grifting controlling bullshit and listen I know it's a big big day for a big birthday boy I know that listener and for those of you that are of faith and don't fart or go to a farting church or don't go to a big mega church or they're promoting you to tithe and you have some sort of you know serenity that you get from this thing I'm not talking about you but because I'm a cultural

Christian. You can see you have all sorts of Christmas decorations around the apartment. I mean, love Christmas. It's really fun to celebrate birthdays and the birthday boy, but I'll remind everybody that before it was Jesus's birthday, it was a pagan holiday that the Christians borrowed. You can look that up. They would go out and get trees and bring them back. And it was more so to do with like sunlight and things. So, you know, there's a lot of things. things that our species has worshipped and done, but I do think on this big birthday today, we do need to keep calling out these religions and megachurches and grifters like this, that at the core, people are just looking for belonging and answers and community.

And there's so many bad actors in these spaces that really propagandize people into thinking like their whole ethos should be like purity culture and anti-gay shit and that's what megachurch that's what it boils down to they teach purity culture anti-gay and then Christian narcissism they don't teach anything though maybe on Christmas we'll trot out and like feed the homeless or something but if you go to a megachurch and they have over a hundred million dollars just sitting in the bank you're in a cult yeah and if they're farting on you a church you're in a cult okay so you I have like an admission. You farting on people at church?

I'm parting on people at church. That's what I knew it. I knew it. I didn't put out a tree this year. I didn't put up one last year because we were out of town. The thought process. It's the devil. I know.

And remember I used to call it all over the house. You used to be a church going Christian and then you started hanging out with me. It's all your fault. And now look, you're not even celebrating the birthday boy. I put Christmas lights. up. I have a wreath out, but I thought, we're going to, we're going to go see my son that lives in Houston. I don't have one fucking decoration up in my house. And I kind of felt guilty about it. I even drove my fat ass out to this big Christmas store. And I was like, I'm going to, I'm going to get

in the season. I'm going to do it. I'm going to put it on my kitchen table. I'm going to do it. It was closed. And I thought, fuck it. I tried. I also have to tell you something. Ever since you got on Ozempic and Mongero, you're not fat anymore. You weigh like 100 pounds. You're tiny. You're an extra small. You don't get to call. You don't get to call yourself. It's not necessarily a description. It's just a smart ass that, you know, thinks they're cool. It's a fat ass, whether you're fat or not in my thing. I know, but I appreciate it, but I'm not going to call you fat. Kylie, are you going to call her fat ass? I'm not. No. Also, Jen, it just on your head. It just felt like a good day to remind everybody that when I was 12 or 13, I asked my

parents for a purity ring because I wanted one so bad yes because you went to a what kiley i did not yet i went to a methodist church at this time a small okay and then you went to a mega church yes and who lives with her living girlfriend after four years so purity and that that purity culture is something they start just pumping into children did your parents parents get you the promise the purity ring yeah I didn't have any money so I had to ask for it and I'm sure they were delighted to give it to you because I've known people that have gotten purity rings for that like their child has asked for a purity ring and they can't get to the you know the store quick enough to buy it and I think it's like a sign of good parenting

yeah and it was like cool to have one like I was not as cool as other people that had one in my school or in my like because everybody had it yeah okay let me ask you you a follow-up question. Did you notice that the girls that were wearing the purity rings, were they like super into the, huh? Slutty. Okay, they were slutty. My other question is, did they really believe it or were they just doing it for their parents? Like you believed it at some point. Yeah, I did. So the slutty girls have the purity. Here's what I think we have to talk about, you guys. This is really important. It's really child. abuse and damaging to tell kids, pre-pubescent kids, to start talking about virginity, ad nauseum,

and saving yourself to marriage. And if you don't, it's the devil and these demons and they're going to gobble you up. And this is abuse. This is incredible abuse instead of educating people as age appropriately as they go. But these are the people that think that there are some trans agenda in school. Right. Meanwhile, they're brainwashing kids to already have problems with their sexuality. They're pre-spinning desire. They're pre-spinning. Think about how diabolical that is. Once you get hormones, it's normal that you're going to want to slap and tickle. That's

how it goes. Hormones, attraction, slap and tickle. They are pre-spinning hormones and pre-shaming children before they get the hormones it is so fucking abusive you guys and it just never gets talked about it just gets set aside that oh yes purity culture and we're saving ourselves for versions it's the worst idea on the planet to wait until you get married and then what's i mean then what happens kiley think if you would have done this the first guy you had sex with had a micropanus am i correct yeah and his nickname was peen because of that i don't know And then just think about it. If you'd married him, Paine, then you're a lesbian that gets fucked by a micro penis forever.

Had you followed your religion? Right. Like you wouldn't be this fabulous, lesie, you know, Santa's little helper. I just, I think it's so insane how consumed American children are with virginity and I think it's child abuse. I think it's child abuse to pre-spend shame into kids. And that's what mega churches do. That's what these little Christian schools do. It's horrible. And they feel guilt for lusting, which is just a crush. It's a fucking crush. Thinking about French kissing the boy that sits two seats over for you. And these kids feel like, oh, I've lusted in the devil's in

my brain. It's fucking bananas. And those of you listening on this very holy day, big birthday boys day on the east coast this shit is so real and fly over america those two i mean it's i went to school with so many girls that were so all about purity culture and just i mean for the record they were the first ones that the cherries popped well let me just tell i mean i know our forever listeners know this story but when i first had sex and i was not married I distinctly remember everything about it because we'd gotten a little hotel room. Oh, wait, I didn't know that part. Yeah, because I was in college.

Was it a hotel or a motel? I was a motel. I misspoke. Like highway? Hotel motel. Yeah, it was because one of my girlfriend. Wait, a couple of follow-up questions. Follow-up question real quick.

We had a fake ID to use it. Did you, was it pre-decided? We're going to go to this, this trashy motel and we're going to fuck? Had you pre-committed to losing the virginity? Yeah. Okay. Oh, okay. Planned.

It was planned. Okay. It was super sinny. Oh, God, you little slut. Tell us every detail. I'm sure you could have rented it by the hour if you wanted to. Oh, that's so good. You had to have an ID.

So my girlfriend from Houston had a fake ID. She was cooler than us because we didn't have fake IDs. And so she went and rented the room under her fake ID name. So we went to dinner. We went and saw a movie, did the deed. And I distinctly remember like laying there thinking, when I get out of this bed, hell's going to open up. Devil's going to grab my ankle and pull me down. And to say that, I mean, that is as serious as I can tell you, I,

thought that like laid there like kind of paralyzed until i just had to go to the bathroom of course i didn't go to hell i'm the sparkling vestal virgin any devil spottings of purity and light but yeah so if you're on the east coast or you're in a foreign country and you think that sounds fucking crazy it's real it is real and the speaker of the house everybody got his daughter a purity ring and took her to some freaky, creepy Christian ceremony where he fucking married her and said, your virginity's mine, and then I'll give it to your husband later. So not only is this inherently sexist, this is child abuse. They are pre-spinning what happens to you. Every human being, when you go through puberty, you develop a crush. You want to make out with people.

There's nothing wrong with that. It's perfectly normal. There's no shame in it. In the diabolical and manipulative and exploitive nature of these evangelical white Christians to pre-spin this to prepubescent children is nothing short of child abuse. You are abusing your children psychologically and pre-shaming them sexually for something that every human being experiences, lust, desire, crushes. Teach them how to screw safely and with dignity. and consent, that's much better because these poor Christians, the teen pregnancy rate is much higher with in the red states than it is on the coast because they teach this abstinence-only bullshit and it just simply doesn't work.

And my God, could you imagine you wait your whole life and then you have sex and then And it's just, like, what if that person is a gyraider and Kylie's instance, a micropine, you know, and you have to fuck that. You have to fuck that forever. And these are the same people that are trying to make it more difficult for women to get divorced. Right. Right. Wow.

That's just, first of all, I just want to say, I'm so glad that the two of you are not in that black and white world thinking anymore, that you're both so like God. your own brains and opened up your minds and Kylie, I'm glad that you are the fabulous lesbian that you are. And my God, Pumps Journey, I think is one of the most important to be shared. I really do. I say it all the time. But you guys, Pumps was, I mean, she was deep in the rabbit hole. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh, yes, you can read all about it. Kylie, yes. You can read all about Pumps Journey from Roadside Motel. slut, dodging Satan, dodging Satan at the Motel 6. That can be your follow-up book, Ponce.

Roadside Motel, Motel. All right. I think we're going to do a couple of callers here on Christmas Day. And then we're going to let you guys go enjoy your families. I hope they're not Maga. Lucky moron, but whatever. Okay. First, we've got Eric P. Hi, ladies. This is Eric from Rhode Island.

Longtime listener, a first time complainer. I have fucking had it with Spotify wrapped, Apple Music wrapped, YouTube wrapped, books wrapped, podcast wrapped, your mom's refrigerator wrapped. Nobody gives a fuck what you listened to this year, what you did this year. I'm sick of seeing it. It is terrorizing my social media feed. At this point, the only wrapped I want to be a part of is the rapture. Get me out of this hellscape.

Please. Okay. Mr. Rhode Island, that is so good. It's so true. And here's the thing about some of these internet trends. One person does it. Like, oh, the Spotify rap. And I have fallen prey to this.

A couple of years. I wonder what my Spotify. rap is and then i'll post mine and it's like this herd effect with it but i do think he brings up a good point regarding the rapture and god you know i wish it would come because either all of the people that think they're going all of the aforementioned um sexual shamers even they would not go and we would all go all the cool kids would go right or vice versa they'd all go and then we'd get them out of here and, uh, we wouldn't have to deal with all this fuckery all the time, pups. No, I mean, I'm with, I'm with Eric. Let's fucking go. I'm ready. I'm going to ask you

something. Did you think the rapture was real when you were a believer? Okay. Here, let me tell you. So when I remember growing up and I want to say it was around when the Shah of Iran was like overthrown and there were heated tensions between the U.S. and Iran. And I distinctly remember sitting in a church where the pastor who'd had an affair with somebody else in the congregation but was married and everybody ignored it, but that's different. It's a different podcast. He was talking about all the signs of the rapture had been met. And it was coming because of Iran.

That's, it was happening. So buckle up, Buttercup. And then obviously it didn't happen. And I don't really remember ever thinking about it other than that. But there were like, I remember several different sermons thinking about. And let me ask you this. Did you like think, oh, I'm going like this is the end or? I was a pretty, I mean, I was pretty young.

I was, I mean, I'd say 10.11ish. Yeah. So I didn't, I didn't really conceptualize it to think about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was scary.

I always noticed my friends. in elementary school junior high that were super they were consumed with the rapture consumed with purity culture and it's such a it robs this type of um strict evangelicalism it robs a lot of kids of their youth like you should be listening to music making TikTok dances on our day we didn't have TikTok but we would make up routines and lip sync for each other remember the lip sync shows of the 80s loved them we would have fun and then the they would get all wound up about something to do with the you know rapture or you know promise rings and purity culture and all this shit it really robs people of joy a lot of that that does and

i think if if it's a true religion and not a cult it should bring you joy and bring you a sense of peace serenity not fear and i think for some people for some christians they experience that like adriana that works for my interior design uh group um she's very she's a Catholic and she just says you know my experience with Catholicism it's mine it's personally it's personal demean it's beautiful and she never elaborates beyond that and always think I love it for her I do too I really love it for her and that's that's a beautiful thing but God it's been so bastardized by these insecure southern races listener do you ever feel like many just disappears each month it's easier than ever to overspend for

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Okay, the next one actually goes well with our earlier points, and it is from Tiffany. I've had it with e-news and other entertainment outlets referring to the adolescent girls, daughters

of celebrities as quote all grown up. Look at the daughter of so-and-so. She's 12. She's all grown up. She's 13. She's 14. She's all grown up. No, she's not. She's a child, you pedophiles.

file. That's disgusting. Don't say, oh, she's more, she's not an adult. She's not grown. Stop saying that. I never see that about boys. I only see it about girls. Stop saying she's all grown up when she's 12. She's not. So it's a great point because we're in an era right now where people are trying to whitewash pedophilia. They're trying to make it less of a big deal that a 12-year-old or 14-year-old is sexually molested, assaulted rape. Well, I mean, it wasn't like she was three. It doesn't fucking matter. It doesn't matter if you are 15 or 12. It's called a crime. These people are children. And one interesting thing, I think this caller reminded me when you saw the young

Republicans talking about Nazi shit. And they're in college at early 20s. Some of them were 40. Some of them were 40. Oh, they were up to that age. Well, this was just a bunch of kids in a group chat. Okay. So they're kids. But then we talk about the victims of Jeffrey Epstein And these survivors who were young, children, girls, raped, molested, passed around. Well, they were young women. No, no, no, no, no, no. They were fucking children. It's sexist.

It's misogyny. And it's a cover up, in my opinion. And here's just something that people need to realize about American culture. We have, especially in the South, these pageants and these dance groups, where these kids are prepubescent in elementary school and they have on full faces of makeup and are dolled up in this really bizarre thing. And if you transfer that over to Europe and to other places, it's very weird that Americans have these little girls that are twerking and this full face of makeup. It's really a bizarre component to our culture.

and when you look at how that is somewhat of a fetishization of a child and then you look at you see this a lot with churchgoers that have their kids signed up into this. It's very normalized. They don't think anything of it while at the same time they're telling the kids, yeah, twerk. Do your eight count of twerking, but also you can't have a crush on a boy. And it's this really weird treatment of little girls, in my opinion. And I think it's, you know, remember like the John Bonnet stuff and then all of the like the dance moms and all of that stuff. Which I was one.

Highly sexualizing children. It's a very highly sexualized component. And it's alarming. It's very alarming. It's very alarming to see that. hypocrisy in real life of you can do all of these sexual things here, but you have to be a virgin until you're married. It's like their whole lives are being set up to just satisfy male urges. And then for a Christian man, you know, I think a lot of the reason why they want abortion illegal is because they in their minds think, well, I can only be attracted to a woman that's pure because of the virgin story that's baked into the Bible. And so I just think there's just a lot of room and growth for women in this country. And that's why if I take it back to my original grievance, it's so alarming that you have women that are actively preaching to other women

to give up all of the progress that we've made. And they act like it's their business. Yeah. Completely agree. Okay, the next one we've got is from Kate Ann. Hi, Jen and Pumps. I'm a huge fan of the show. I just recently started listening and I am now binging and I'm still two years behind, but it gives me something to listen to 24-7. Anyways, what I have just recently had it with because this just happened to me is people who scroll through your photos when you show them.

one photo. I've had it. It should be a standard that you know better not to scroll through people's photos unless they say swipe to the left, swipe to the right to see other photos. I've had it. Don't swipe through my photos because you're probably going to see a naked photo of me. And that is what just happened to me with my father-in-law. So. Oh my gosh.

You know what? You shouldn't have swiped through my photos. I've had it. That's a great point and I'm as guilty as fuck of doing it. I do it all the time when people tell you one. Yes. They'll like so and I'll just start scrolling to see the other photos. It's 100% right and I like other people.

Show me something on social media and I like it on, I mean, I just feel like I'm the worst. So she's 100% right, 100% right. right and i'm guilty as fuck yeah i if i'm showing pumps something like oh my god you're not going to believe what jane do posted on instagram it's so unhinged she's like oh my god let me see it let me see it i'm like do not touch my phone i will hold it right here she's like why i'm to zoom in on it and i'm like your fingers are not going to touch the phone because the amount of busting that pumps does busting that we're trolling somebody's instagram account that we don't

want them to know that we're trolling, which everybody does. And it's so fun to do. Little Miss leaves her fingerprints all over the place. But this reminds me of a story of some acquaintance of mine in Oklahoma City. So they remember when everybody had video cameras before you had a video camera on your phone? And so this is a married couple and they, you know them. They videotaped themselves having sex. And their kids were kind of like toddlers at the time. right so one of their parents comes over for thanksgiving and their toddler had just done something cute and they had that on tape and they're like oh my god we'll play it for you we'll play for you the video of your grandchild doing something darling and they put it on and press play and it's their

homemade porn for like all the family members that are there for thanksgiving and then of course as something like that happens you have a hard time turning it off. And each second feels like, you know, a decade. And could you imagine? Could you imagine? That's one of my favorite stories because that should happen. I mean, it's just, it's so embarrassing. And it's like, like you said, it's like your hands are broken. The batteries out of the remote. Like, there's no way to stop it. I'd forgotten in that story. And I sure do like it. It's hilarious. Right. It's such a good one. All right. Kylie, have you ever played any of your homemade porn for family members?

I have not. I did one time, my nana, she's dead now, but she was a very, very proper, isolated, good Christian woman, didn't cuss, didn't drink, you know, very rigid. Oh, like pumps in me. Yes, very much like you all. And we had a family group chat, and do you guys know people will make a fake link and it'll look like a news story and you click on it and it's that black guy with the big penis? My friends sent me a link. I didn't even open it. I was like, oh, my gosh.

I copied it. I sent it to my family group chat. I did not realize until my nana responded that I had sent the photo of the black man with the big dick to my nana and my entire family. So I think I- How much your nana kind of liked it? Here's the thing. It's now like a family joke.

Like my cousins send me ornaments of him. We send memes of him. So. Brian, our friend, our friend Brian, our friend Brian, In Bogart, he would send that to me for years and then he actually, I think it was last year for Christmas. He made me a puzzle. I have a puzzle of that meme of that guy with a huge dick. Like, he will not stop sending it to me. It's so hilarious because he would make these really juicy things and I fell for it every time. Like Trump had, you know, major stroke is in

ICU. And I mean, I'm frothing at the mouth, you know, like clicking it. And then it's the guy with the huge dick, which really is a great juxtaposition. You know, the small penis energy that goes on with all of these MAGA people. And then we have this, you know, this robust, nice piece of chocolate with a huge donkey dig. Yeah. I'm going to say, do you think that's AI, that penis? No, he's real. That's real.

He comes away, which is sad. He died? I heard he's not alive anymore. Oh, my God, RIP. I know that. I was hoping for more post. I do it's it's horrible to get it when you're like talking like I used to get it while I was at work like with a client like we're sitting in a settlement room at the courthouse and it would come through and I would see it and I would open it and then you're kind of embarrassed because you're like hi you know but I hate to hear that yeah all right listen Merry Christmas everybody and if you don't celebrate Christmas Merry Day and thank you for joining us we hope this has been a nice respite from your family and perhaps will you just tell maga what we tell them

just one more time you can do better than that for kha's nailed it for christmas all right all the times this is the part you say we'll see you next tuesday oh yeah we'll see you next tuesday i was so proud of myself i know i know you should be I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that. Listen up, patriots, gaitriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped.

It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast, and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe, and reviews so that we will chart upwards with America's

greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caca! A little bit more enthusiasm. Caca! That's it. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's the patriotism that this country means right there. Thank you.