I've Had It - Mission: Impossible

Episode Date: September 29, 2026

The dog days AREN'T over. Pre-order Jennifer’s new book Not Today, Fascists, join our Substack, shop our merch, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast. Thank you to our sponsor: Jones Road Beauty: Use code HADIT at https://jonesroadbeauty.com to get a Free Gift with your first purchase! #JonesRoadBeauty #ad Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @MizzWelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Where some see heroes and others see egos. Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes. A fad to some? The future of money to others. We see crypto's trillion dollar swings. The end of jobs or the end of human struggle. We see the endless funds fueling the AI hype. While others follow the noise,

we follow the money. Learn more at Bloomberg.com. What does a sunny getaway with Air Canada sound like? Sunny Jamaica moves to its own rhythm. Rio comes alive long after the sun goes down. Philippines slows everything down. And just when you think you've heard it all, there's Sunny Lima.

However you imagine your sunny escape, Air Canada can take you there. Book hot fairs and vacation packages today. Night travels. travels. Ready, one, two, three. Patriots, gay, traits, they triots, black triots, brown triots, anybody who didn't vote for Trump, we love you. But all of the triple Trumpers, double Trumpers, and we're so mad right now, if you even voted for him once, you can do what, pups? All right, pups, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with? And this is just,

like, I think, basic human decency. When you have lipstick on your teeth or food in your teeth, I don't care if we're friends. I don't care if we've never met before. You immediately say, hey, you've got lipstick on your teeth. I was prancing around a wedding with a big spinach thing in my tooth for 30 minutes. And nobody told me. And then I walk up to my daughter and she's like, oh, my God, you have food in your teeth. And I'm like, every single one of those people that didn't tell me I have food in my teeth is a failure as a human being.

I just think you have to have to tell. You have to have to tell. you are so good at this. You are, you are so clutch at this, listener. I cannot tell you how many times pumps and I've gone places or done something. And she's like, oh my God, you've got this on your face or this in your teeth or she's very, very good at making sure everybody's stuff is organized. And likewise, I return the favor to her because Trump is, Trump. What did I call you Trump? Pumps. Horrible.

Sorry, Pumps. Pumps is prone to cameltoe. So when we're around each other, I'm always on camel toe watch for pumps. And just like, hey, I know you're not feeling it, but you've got to get that out of there. You are so good about this. So listen to this. You're going to love this. You're going to love it.

I was on Kara Swisher's podcast a couple of weeks ago. I, like, substituted for her co-host on Pivot. And I received a DM from a friend. He was like, I saw you on Kara Swisher's podcast. You did great. You had food in your lower teeth. I raced to YouTube. I race to YouTube.

Race. And I'm looking and I'm looking and I'm like, oh my. Yes. Yes. That's horrible. Because it was one of those days where I'm just like, my days are like pack, pack, pack, pack, pack, eat, eat shovel food for 20 minutes, put the headphones back on, get the mic back. out again. And it was one of those days where I just trying to find, you know, 15 minutes to eat a meal.

And a lot of times, like, I don't even have time in my filming days to eat. And so I remember, like, pushing the salad bowl away. And I didn't do a check. I did not do a check. And I am on pivot podcast with food as a co-host, not just a guest that came in for 10 minutes. Right. No, the whole time. You know who I blame for that, Jennifer? Her Kylie. That's a great person to blame Kylie. Yeah. She should have told you.

She should have done the fit check before you got on. What a fucking cunt right here. I did not put that up. I didn't put, I did not. No, I know, but you were both participated in me having that liner on and filming a whole episode. I filmed a whole episode and looked like, I mean, what is even that? I remember it was like, I bought. some new eyeliner thinking it wouldn't smudge. And I mean, it's like down to here. Also, also,

remember the headband night? The night everybody came in from the gym and I had the headband. Y'all didn't tell me how bad that looked. I blame Kylie for that too. But you have to, you have to throw me in on the headband and on the eyeliner. I blame you on the eyeliner too. Yeah. I mean, I mean, I have to take responsibility for that as well. The headband, And it was one of those things, Kylie, if you can find it, it was one of those things that I was just so mystified by it. And I did not think it was fixable. Like I didn't think there was a way that we could. This is what it is. There was, I didn't. I'm like, okay, so if I put this here in or I do XYZ, is that going to fix this problem? No. Okay. Let me tell you what I've had it with. It's really not something I personally had it with, although I have had it. But there's an example I can give you all. that I observed that we have been remiss in not talking about as a grievance that happens in the people. So this past weekend, Josh Welch and I went to play pickleball with Jonathan Van Ness and his husband Mark Peacock, and they're very good friends of ours, and we love to double date with JVN and Mark.

and Mark was telling us that on the way over to the pickleball courts, JVN was reading Mark for filth because Mark was not as disappointed about the William's sister's double loss in the first round at the U.S. Open as Jonathan was upset. He was on pins and needles. He felt it with, everything in him and he's cheering and he went the highs and the lows and they they played great, but they didn't pull out the win. Mark didn't really care that much about it. I mean, he would have been like, great, they win, they lose, whatever. Well, Jonathan, in his being upset about the defeat and seeing Mark being dismissive about it, he decides to zero in on Mark. It was what you do. And then he escalates it that Mark is agist because the William sisters, he's like, well, I mean, look, he's like, Jonathan's like, I can't believe they lost. They did so good. He's like, when they're in their 40s, they retired, they've come back. I mean, and Mark's British. So he's, you know, he's like,

maybe they should just call it. And then Johnson's like, well, are you ageist? Are you sex? Are you this? And it just escalates. And JVN and Mark, you know, I love you all. You all are my favorite double daters on the planet. And dear, dear friends of mine. But I use this as an example because I think we've all been there. All of us. You're in a relationship with somebody, whether it's a friend, a child, a parent, a spouse, a love interest. And you're really feeling something really big.

And you share it with the person that you're with at the time. And they do not share in a commensurate way the emotion, whether it's joy, defeat, anger, whatever. And I think you and I have had this a lot where you will call me about something that you're really mad about. And I go, you go, well, this pisses me off. You're not as mad as I want you to be. Right. And you hang up on me.

And so I think that this is something we haven't talked about. So the grievance is I've had it with people that don't share or at least feign the and match in a commensurate way at a very emotional. feeling that one is having. So I thought we should discuss this as a family. No, I completely agree. I have done that a million times. I've done it with my kids. I've done it with my ex-husband, friends, the whole line. Here's the thing. And I'm with you. Just feign it because you know it's like, because here's how it feels. Like this is super important to me. I'm really, really feeling this. And when you just kind of poo-poo it off, then I take it personally, even though really it has nothing to do with me. And then, of course, I'm going to go straight in personal to you.

I'm going to just get right to the neck cutting because you don't feel my emotion. So I think it's more about not feeling heard or seeing. Do you or no, am I over analyzing? I mean, I think we've all been on both sides of this. For sure. Like, I remember when Trump won in 2016, I called you. And I was just beside myself. Yeah. Doubled over tears, blah, blah, blah. and you're like, it'll be fine. And I was just like, it's wild. Grab by the pussy.

So we've all, we've all experienced like on both sides of it. Like I've been the person that, I've been the Jonathan that wants somebody to match and then they don't. And then I'm just like,

well, you're ages and you're this and you've been da-da-da. But I've also been the poo-pooer. And so I just thought it was an interesting thing. And obviously everybody, we're the biggest hypocrites on the planet. Most of our grievances are a spot-it-got-it situation. We spot them because we do them. All right, ladies, we all have so many extra steps we have to take when we get ready for each day.

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you. I do. I just, I thought it was really interesting. And Josh and I talked about it too, because Josh and I experienced this a lot where Josh likes to force a sweater. Yeah, he does. He's a sweater forcer. He loves sweaters and he loves to wear them year round. And so summer is a very, summer is a minefield for him because it's hot. It's hot in New York. It's hot in Oklahoma.

It's hot in the northern hemisphere, basically. And so he really struggles. with he can't wear a sweater. So he'll come to me and he goes, I mean, DeMarre, the high's 82. I'm kind of thinking I could do a really thin, very, very thin sweater. I'm like, Josh, it's August and it's 82 degrees outside. No, you cannot force the sweater.

And I mean, by God, we get dressed for dinner and that MFER has the sweater on. And he gets irritated with me for not sharing in all of those things. So I thought it was an interesting, because I'm on both sides of it. I'm a hypocrite on the issue. I want people to share my emotions with me, but I've also been a poo-pooer. Yeah, I think it, I just think human nature. You can't get up to the same level as everybody else. But speaking of the sweater forcing, you know, it's been 108 degrees here all summer, like

legitimately 107, 108. And so the last few days, it's been like in the 80s. And I have been wanting to pull out my leggings and my pullovers. It's like 82 degrees is still fucking hot, Angie. Do not, you don't need to get your long sleeves out. I mean, it's ridiculous, but I'm so starved for something like long sleeves because it's just fucking ridiculous. So I kind of have been Josh this last week. I get it. You want to force a little sweater. I want to force a legging. Just a little pull over to the gym. And it's like you walk out,

I walked out. I did it. I threw on my like sweater over my clothes and I walked out and I thought, girl, it's just not time yet. Do you know, be a C-O-N-T real quick? Yeah. 55 degrees on my morning walk to work to the studio this morning. Oh my God. 55 degrees is my sweet spot. I love 55 degrees. I even pulled out a little trench. Pulled out a little trench coat on the walk.

You've already pulled out your trench, got. Pulled out a trench. I looked at the weather, said 55 degrees. And I thought, you know, why not just throw in a little lightweight trench and just walk to the studio? That's like a knife through the heart. And you know, that's perfect. We have,

Bulldog weather too. Something that we haven't spoken about really that much at all is the climate change of it all that we heard the Republican Party for years and years and years. It's a hoax, hoax, hoax, hoax, hoax. And then, like, just think about in Oklahoma where we both grew up. I remember by mid-September going back to school, I could wear a thin sweater like I'm wearing right now because it had drunk about kind of what it is in New York right now. That's gone.

Go on. Europe had its, every year is warmer than the year before. And this is what makes me so mad. And this is going way back into grievances. Al Gore was an environmentalist, like way ahead of his time. When nobody was really even thinking about that, he made that documentary, which was so brilliantly named, Inconvenient Truth. And the Republican Party, with the rigging of the Supreme Court, stole that election from. us and the Democrats just still kept going, didn't do anything about the Supreme Court after that. And it's like, I just, I've had it with the Democrats not really fighting back. And this goes way, way, way, way back before Donald Trump. But a little hopium in all of that is that I read an article that said that the people that look at polling and voter turnout and really, really study this are projecting. a turnout larger than that of the post-watergate scandal. And so that turnout has got to be something that, number one, is like, stick it in your face, Maga. Like, you didn't win anything. We, everything you hate, we love and we fight for.

Everything you hate, I triple love and fight for. And I quadruple down because I know that you hate them and I know that those people need that much more love and fight out of me. And I will always be that foot soldier in the fight for all of this. But also to send a message to the Democrats. Right. Fight. Fight. Get in there and fight these people. Get dirty. I mean, investigate everything all the way down to Barron. Start at the top. Right. End with Barron. Full tilt. I'm looking for impeachments. I am looking for soup to nets. Let's start with Trump. I mean, J.D., I don't know what he's done, but I'm sure we can find something.

Pete Hegseth, Marco Rubio, just blatant. I mean, I want all of them. I want Christine Nome. I want Pambani. And you know what else I want? I want all this shit torn down, when all this tacky bullshit out. And I'll tell you what else I want. I want the Supreme Court.

That's it. Clarence Thomas. Impeach him. You're done. Impeach. You're done taking money. John Robert's wife taking all that money. Peace out.

Yeah, he's got to go. All of it. Alito. San Alito and his flags. Gorsuch. Cavanaugh. Kavanaugh, let's talk about all the 2,000 calls we got that the FBI ignored about you and women. I want all of it out there.

I want a brand new Supreme Court because here's the deal. Trump could have been controlled a lot more. And the court pissed that away. They said, no, we're just going to let you do it. Because the fascist collaborators. They absolutely are. So, I mean, I want, I want impeachments. Oh, and you know what else I want from these Democrats?

I want fucking forensic accounting of every dollar and every trade made by Howard Lutnik, Donald Trump, Don Jr. I want that wedding investigated until my head falls off. I want every single bit of their assets frozen at every penny clawed back. Scott Bessent, no stone is going to be left unturned. They made me emperor the fucking accountants. I would have a team of forensic accountants like you would not believe. And every single penny would be accounted for. It would be taken back.

Then your fat ass would be in jail. That's if I were in charge. And that island needs to go back to the Albanians. That's before we get to the Kushners. You know, there's something that's $2 billion needs to go back to the 9-11 planners. and murderers of Jamal Khashoggi, that $2 billion, Jared, that needs to go back to them because Saudi Arabia is not our friend, which is just a whole other grievance. But let's, all right, if you want to hear more politics, every single day we drop on our other

podcast, make sure you're subscribed to this one, wherever you're your podcast, but also make sure you're subscribed to IHIPP news. We dive into the daily news stories in digestible bite-sized pieces. The episodes are anywhere from 11 minutes to 20 minutes, and there's about 3 or 4. drops a day. It's a great way to consume the news because it's so overwhelming, abusive, and awful. Just all the shit that pumps just mentioned that we need a reckoning on, we kind of break those down. Josh Welch is our criminal defense legal analysis on that, and that's by design because come November, especially January, we're going to need someone to translate all of these crimes to us

that are rolling out that are being exposed and investigated. Where some see heroes and others see egos. Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes. While others follow the noise, we follow the money. Learn more at Bloomberg.com. This family is on the brink of civil war. Mobland. The hit original series is now streaming on Paramount Plus.

We are the Hurricanes. Don't know than yet? And Google us. From the underworld of Guy Ritchie. Do you want to step up? the matter. I won't comment dead. Starring Tom Hardy, Pierce Brosnan, and Helen Mirren. Do I have to do everything myself?

You want to want! I'll give you a lot! Moblad, new season is now streaming on Paramount Plus. So, this is, of course, I've had it. Those of you that know this podcast know that we are managed and governed by Kylie the Magic Lesbian. Kylie. Hi. Jen, I just have to thank you. My DMs are completely full of Gen Z STD records. Really? Oh my God.

Can we see those? I have one video loaded up for you from Liv, and she gives you some sock advice. Okay, okay. Hello, I've had it podcast. I love you guys. I watch all of your videos. Thank you for being the same people that I need to listen to. Anyways, my name is Olivia.

Gen Z September 2nd in 2002. I'm a Virgo. No STDs. But my senior year of college, there was a rumor going around about me that I had genital herpes. Not true. About this whole sock debacle, I've had a lot of issues in the past. I'm a victim of the sock bullying and not knowing what's going on.

I have the no shows. I had the ankle socks, whatever. My friends bullied me about it. They talked about it behind my back. So it has been a struggle. I concur. But nowadays I'm wearing crew socks. I'm wearing crew socks with little ruffles.

And life is good again. So, oh my God. I am obsessed with her. With her, the ruffles being back, how deadpans she delivered this horrible, tawdry rumor that those little bitches at school unleashed on her about her having gentle to her

No disrespect to any herpes carriers. But if it's not true. So she's been liberated from the sock bullying. Yeah. She's got out in front of it. Kylie, did we give me clarification if I'm too old to wear ruffle socks? No, I actually had one Gatriot say he really wants to see you in the ones with the lace. He likes that little detail for you.

Because I found a really cute pair, but I wanted to get the feedback before I strut it out in them. I also want to say it was clean reports on STDs across the board. Really? So I'm not only one. Yeah, I think Gen Z got the safe sex. Yeah. It was a lot more evolved. The safe sex stuff was more a part of the sex ed than in the 80s.

They were all going to get checked. They're wrapping it before they tab. Are there any others we can see? I'm kind of obsessed with this. Here's the issue. They sent it to me in a way that does not allow me to, screen recorder save. So this was one of the few I could actually get my hands on that. Oh, Gen Z. See, they know how to do this shit, huh? I wouldn't know how to send something in a way that

you could screen record or not screen record. I'm still, I'm asking them for advice on soft. Somebody sent me a text the other day. Hey, my friend is launching blah, blah, blah. She wants to know if she can sit down with you and talk about the I've had it social media strategy. And if you could shed some light on what you did there. And I just responded, I hired a, millennial. That's it. That's the strategy. That's the only thing that I did on that. I absolutely know nothing else other than that regarding social media. And I'm terrible at it. But I mean, I give it a good college try. But I love her. And sometimes I do, I think we should go by ruffled socks. Yeah. And you know what? Let's get penny loafers and put pennies in them. Like we did.

I remember in seventh grade, I had penny lovers. I loved. Loved my penny loafers. I mean, I love that. Very cool to do right now. I do too. We need to get Gen Z. Listen, first and foremost, I want to thank everybody for your transmissions, your transparency about your STDs, which pumps again as a crab survivor. She really set the tone for the listener to be engaged in a shame-free space to openly talk about STDs and surviving them, surviving STDs. And, you know, and then throwing in your son.

your birthdays, all of that. But the sock liberation movement is absolutely incredible. And I think what we need to add to that, Chimsy, and I want y'all to start doing this on your TikToks and on your Instagram, since you know exactly how to make these types of things, put the pennies inside the penny loafers. We put the pins in the penny loafer

because there's a little slit. And then you put the penny inside it, and I want to see this catch on. Are we able? Do you think we have that kind of? Do you think we could start that here? I think we can start a movement. Do you think everyone start sending me your penny in your penny loafers?

Oh my God. Happening. Yes. What if nobody does it? It's like the I've had it effect. Crash and burn. I think movements with the pennies and penny loafers, I mean, I think we can start a movement here. I imagine.

Leadership starts at the top. It does. I think this is probably the first time a lot of them have heard of a penny loaf. loafer. Had you ever heard of it? I have heard of it. Did you know that people put pennies in them? I think that my father did this when I was young. Yeah, it was a big thing. Yeah, that would make sense. Do you remember this pumps? This is something that the kids don't know about all of our Gen Zs, our STD-free Gen Zs. Which I'm so proud. Sock Liberators. So as we're in the 80s, we're just living our lives, right? And there's like this Coke and Tech and Pepsi battle. And they had these like

battle commercials and it was like, what's better, Coke or Pepsi. And we didn't have phones. So commercials were a huge part of pop culture. And everybody like was pretty much where we lived. It was kind of ended up being regional wars. But in the south where we lived, it was Coke. Yeah. And Dr. Pepper was under the Coke umbrella and kind of based in Texas. And so like I remember I was a Dr. Pepper person, but I linked Coke. And then all of a sudden, out of the clear blue sky, out of no, nowhere right around the time Michael Jackson's hair caught on fire. Coke rolls out this commercial that they've changed the formula. And it's a new Coke.

Yeah. And they're like, it's like Coke, but here's the new Coke. And they roll out this thing. And I remember watching TV going, they changed Coke and remind Gen Z, Millennials, commercials and MTV, that's it. That's a lip. Other than that, we were outside and we were feral human beings whose parents didn't give a fuck where we were, who we were.

who we were talking to what we were doing, period. We were just completely feral human beings. And so this was like a big thing. So I get 7-Eleven and I taste the new Coke. And it's terrible. Terrible. It's terrible. And again, we don't have an online town square where you can go and talk about this. You're just talking about it in your friend groups. Or a local journalist is out in man on the streets. Like, what do you think of the new Coke? And then you're getting it from your TV, which by the way, didn't have a remote control. It was like a piece of furniture when you had to get up, kind of turn it later. Like in high school, I think we had remote controls. But anyway, so then everybody's just in an uproar about the Coke changing its flavor.

And then they launch Coca-Cola Classic. Classic. Yeah. And they take it back. So my question is, is the new Coke still on the market? I was just thinking that when you asked, I think it's not. I think it was such an abysmal failure that it. it wasn't. I think they pulled it pretty quick. I mean, and they were side by side for a little bit

and then it just went away with very little fanfare, if I'm remembering correctly, because it was bad. It's the equivalent of like Chipotle saying, we're changing our menu. Right. We're a Chinese restaurant. It was that crazy. It felt like that. It was just like we were all like, what the fuck? And then you tasted the new Coke and it had a new, it had a logo and it said new Coke. And I remember everybody was in an uproar about it. And this, don't you feel like this was around the time Michael Jackson's head caught on fire? Yeah. It was definitely that age group.

Yeah. Because I was older than you. And I think that was like... Do you remember Michael Jackson hung blanket out the window in Germany? Yes. That's kind of weird shit, wasn't it? That's weird shit. And then I found out, Blankets' real name is Prince Michael, too, again.

So he's got two Prince Michael's. Kind of like George Foreman has like eight boys named George Foreman. I mean, in Michael's defense in that, my kids have a million nicknames. No, but I'm just saying like, I didn't, I've never heard of people naming their kids the same names. Like, I barely can name my kids. I mean, I call them the same name all the time, but just like if I had three emilates, that's even more confusing trying to get somebody. I see what you mean. Right.

Like, I mean, we've got Prince Michael, Prince Michael. It's like, how do you differentiate which one you're talking about? Well, you call one blanket. That's what you do. But you call one blanket. Yeah. So. Yeah.

You just say, here, this could get really confusing. So your blanket. You're just going to be blanket. Yeah. All right. So, Kylie, thank you for the Gen Z stuff. I really like the Gen Z. And I'm happy about her journey and her sharing her sock journey.

And I want more Gen Zs to share their sock journey and send us videos of your socks, putting pennies in your penny. loafers and putting them on, putting it on TikTok, and starting a movement. I'm going to get some of those socks. I know. They're so cute. I loved them. My mother would sew little dresses for me.

We would go to TGNY and Y and we would look at, we would look at the patterns, you know, and we would pick the fabric and she'd get the pattern and she would sew a dress for me and I wear the little lace socks. Very impressed she can make a dress. That's impressive. I know. She was really good at that. You know, it's so funny about Linda.

She's so progressive. and she's so not that, like, she's so not a home-ac type. Like, she never really cooked a meal for us ever. I remember I had a boyfriend and his parents were like Christian and, like, the mom was a total homemaker, know how to make, like, homemade casseroles and all this shit, right? So he's over at my house. And my dad says, Linda, what are we going to do for dinner? And mom was like, I don't know, Rick.

And he's like, why don't you heat up one of those frozen pizza? says something. She goes, Rick, I just really don't feel like cooking tonight. I thought nothing of it. I thought that was cooking. But Sean like bust out laughing and he thinks we're all joking. And we weren't. Like we were all dead serious. Like mom's not going to cook tonight, aka heat up a piece of it. She could sew. And it was always something fun we would do. We would go and you would look at the pattern books and pick out a little dress. And then I would go pick the fabric. And then she would whip out a sewing machine and she would sew it. That's very. very impressive. I mean, when I was really little, we would do that. It was really fun. Then I got, I think she was over it at that point. And then, yeah, it was fun for a while, but I wanted to live there. Speaking of which, I am reading a book about trad wives. It's a fiction book, but it's like the super trad wife influencer. Like she's all in on being a full-time trad wife

influencer. Then she gets dropped into a trad wife situation. So more to come. Because I love I hate this woman so much in this book. But yeah, I mean, the Tradwife thing, I'm super dying to finish this book and see what happens to her. Where some see heroes and others see egos. Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes. While others follow the noise, we follow the money. Learn more at Bloomberg.com.

Okay, I've got a story here. Dog owners have started a new kind of support group. Let's pop this up. Welcome to Dogs Anonymous, the online support group for pet owners on the brink, in quotes. This is a place where you can come and say, I fucking hate my dog today. A Dog's Anonymous co-founder tells Wired. And there are people who are going to be like, yeah, that was me last Tuesday. And so here is a screen grab from the article.

Just past 6 p.m. on a recent Wednesday night, half a dozen pet owners logged into a Zoom meeting to confess something they're afraid to talk about in public. They're fed up with their dogs. Other attendees confessed their private shames. A shepherd mix had started engaging in more intense resource guarding when around other dogs, the term for when dogs aggressively protect something they value. He got into it with my sister's little wiener dog the other day because they both were begging for food. One woman who lives in a busy apartment complex needed advice on how to better handle her dachshund's constant barking at strangers. In the spirit of anonymity, dogs anonymous asked Wired to leave out the names and identifying characteristics of its participants. The founders say the effectiveness of the group doesn't necessarily stem from the advice they impact during,

meetings, but comes from members bonding over shared struggles. The magic of AA, the community, is that you are going through something that somebody else has either been through or they're getting through the same thing. This approach called sharing your experience, strength, and hope is a core part of the 12-step recovery program and encourages members to analyze their experience in a way that makes them feel less alone. I'm just going to say this. Okay.

It is a false equivalency to equate the struggles of addicts and those who love addicts and that 12-step program with daily irritations of being a pet owner. Now, listen, I think it's 100% valid. Like, I've talked to you about my dog, you know, got oral warts from probably licking somebody's private parts out on the streets in New York and I'd had it with him and I was pissed off. That problem is nowhere near the depths and all of the things that addicts go through. However, I don't want to be a poo-pooer here because I do believe in connectedness and sharing grievances, which is what this podcast is.

And I do think sometimes dogs can be twats. For example, Miss Chacha, and the German Shepherd situation is getting worse. Really? Not better. Josh was here over the weekend. I see it blocked down. I see this gorgeous, gorgeous German Shepherd. And I can tell this is a smart one that probably went to one of those schools.

Right. Like, he was really pretty, and you could just see that this dog was smart. Immediately locked on Chachaw. Chachaw immediately locks in on him. I have to get the leash and, like, get it down. because we can pass a wiener dog, we can pass, you know, a doodle, any of the doodles. Any type of doodles she could give two sheds. But German shepherds for some reason, personally I think it goes back to World War II,

but she has had it. And we start to cross and she is, I mean, I have her, but she wants to go attack the German shepherd. Total twop behavior. Would love to tell the people in the group about this. but by no means is that anywhere near the depths of hell that I went through. Right. In loving my husband and doing an interventions to get him sober or in loving you and the intervention we did to get you sober. It's just not even in the same ballpark to bring AA into this is my only rub on that.

Yeah. And I would have appreciated them saying like, here's the thing that I like about AA so much is that you don't feel alone and then you can relate to. And I think sometimes you have such a heart, you think that your problems are so unique and I'm the only person that ever thought anything that's stupid and how could the relating to and the like, okay, a lot of people have felt that. So I get that part of it, but I agree with you. They're not the same. And here's my thing. I fucking called you up and said I fucking hate her guts about my two-year-old daughter. So I have no shame in saying, I fucking hate my kids.

But I mean, a lot of people do, but you were a safe space. I probably wouldn't have done that with every person. But I just think you have to vent. And let me just tell you what fucking made me, just goes all through me about Oliver, who we all know is my favorite child, even though he's universally unpopular with everyone else. And naughty AF. He's naughty. Yeah, it's really bad.

It's just, he's good to me. He's a bad boy. Okay. Oh, yeah. When he stayed with me, it's unbelievable. How much you watch the TV? It's unbelievable. So I didn't even know this. And I don't even know why this is, but like my screensaver on my TV when I pause a video or something is Snoopy, which I don't know why. It just is. So I'm in there brushing my teeth and my, and he is going fucking crazy. And it's Snoopy. I'm just like, I cannot catch a break. And you know, I love to watch British shows.

I started a new one last night. I was super excited. there's all these dogs in British shows. I couldn't watch it because he got bananas. He gets Tilly going. It's just like, fuck it. I'll watch something else. So I say bitch about your dogs. If you're not bitching about your kids and dogs, something's up.

Yeah. Or your spouse. Or your spouse. That's just live. I think we need to normalize bitching about the stuff that we love. And it doesn't mean not loving them. I think that there's this projection that everything that is love is perfect. Love is messy. Taking care of other human beings is messy.

The sharing is messy. Friendships are messy. Relationships are messy. Parenthood is messy. Dog ownership is messy. You know, you get home from work and your dogs chewed up some shoe you spend a lot of money on.

Nobody likes that. Ain't nobody got time for that. Oh, my God. Ain't nobody got time for that. Let me ask you this. I want to get back to this. I think, because I want to ask you this. So back when I was younger and my kids were, I mean, a toddler and a baby. And Josh, I was really beside myself. You know, you're there. I just, I could not

wrap my parents weren't drinkers. I couldn't wrap my head around the disease of addiction. I personalized it. I felt like when he did a drug, that that was personally, he made a personal choice. I love this more than I do, Jennifer and my kids. That's how I absorbed it. That's how I felt it and it leveled me. It wrecked me to my core. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I was heartbroken beyond anything and I was struggling with this idea that love was hurting me so much. That loving him was so painful. So I went to an Al-Anon meeting and I got an Al-Anon sponsor. And in these meetings, I was not a good candidate for it at all. Because it was, I remember I walked in this meeting and I shared something and I was, I didn't have a problem sharing.

I wanted to share where I was and I wanted, I was willing to try anything or do anything. And then it was another lady's turn. And in the, in the AA book, they call it higher power instead of God most of the time. Sometimes there's references to God, but they call it higher power. And this lady says, and this is in Oklahoma City, she goes, you can call it higher power all you want to, but for me, it's the blood of Jesus Christ all over me. And I'm just like, I have zero, zero in common with this person, zero, like nothing. And then with my Al-Anon sponsor, she was very nice. And I really tried. I was willing to do anything. The solution for everything

was, just pray about it, just pray about it, just pray about it. I don't pray. Like, I was raised by atheist. That is not a part of my daily life. I'm like, you know, I've tried it before and I'm like, hey, you there? Can you really hear me what I'm saying in my brain? Like, it doesn't compute that that's a real thing for me. And I know that's weird for all of you that were raised with that. And as children that you did that and you think somebody can hear your thoughts, for a person that's not indoctrinated. And that's a really weird concept. Because for me, my thoughts are my own. I manage them. I have autonomy and agency. over them. That is my private space.

Which is not just, I'm not trying to knock prayer here. It was just weird for me to think that I have all of these problems than I could just talk to somebody in my head. They hear it and that was going to help it. So, you know, obviously got out of Al-Anon and went to one-on-one therapy, which was more analytical and it was more feedback-oriented. And no knock on anybody who has found peace or serenity in Alcoholics Anonymous or Al-Anon. Likewise, for Josh. Josh relapsed several times when we were younger, which relapsed is a huge part of addiction. But a lot of it was because the only solution that was served up to him was Alcoholics Anonymous. And he's an atheist, raised by an atheist as well, which is probably why we're the only two in Oklahoma. That's why we

found each other bread and we're here, are here together today. Because there's not that many atheist in Oklahoma. But he found the same thing. Like he would go to these meetings of God prayer, God prayer, higher power, fix this, let go, let God, blah, blah. And it's really difficult if you're not in that. So I started researching AA and Alonon. Well, it turns out the founders are huge evangelicals. Yeah. And so that's why it's peppered like that. Furthermore, it has a abysmal, abysmal success rate, 7%. And I think this is such a horrible thing that happens to addicts is that this is the one way that you can get sober. And it has a 7% success rate. Imagine if the doctor said, you have cancer and you have a 7% chance to live. That is abysmal.

But when people go into big rehab, which is a multi-billion dollar industry, they are told this, these are the only ways you can stay sober. And I say all of this because every time we talk about addiction and Josh and I are very open about our journey with this because I want to help others because I know how painful it is. That like everything, there's not a one-size-fits-all type situation with this stuff. and so just kind of like the socks, you know, maybe you're a no-show, maybe you're a lace frill, maybe you change intermittently between the two. But when it comes to addiction, and I know that a lot of you are probably zeroed in right now, because when Josh was at his worst, my ears and antennas were open to anything that I could absorb and understand because I needed to understand the science behind it.

Right. I needed to understand that when I told you, listener, that I personally felt that Josh chose the drug, the oxy cotton, or the drink, that he said, I like this more than I like Jennifer, Dylan, and Roman. What I learned through therapy and talking to people who understand addiction, addiction sits in the fight or flight reflex of the brain. It's called the hypothalamus. So it is a survival instinct.

and when the addict's brain chemistry is off kilter, they're looking for survival. And because that addiction, that addict gene sits in that thing. So for them, drinking or taking a drug means I am surviving. I am going to live right now. And that was really, I mean, it took me, I heard that mentally. My heart didn't accept that for many, many, many years because it takes a long time to really, I understand it. But to anybody on here, if AA works for you, love it for you.

love it for you. I think it's fabulous. But if it doesn't, there are so many other ways. And Josh has found, you know, one-on-one therapy and connecting even with friends that aren't necessarily in the program but are privy to what addiction is. And it's just owning it and talking about it openly without shame. And I'm sorry, all of this triggered all of that. But I think it's really important stuff because I suspect that Donald Trump has drove up addiction rates. Oh, for sure. And he acts like an untreated addict. For me, it's just, I go to AA a couple times a month just to kind of keep my foot in the door. It's not super gaudy, the one I go to, but it's old people that are very serious about the separation. If I went to a younger one, it probably would be. But my thing with addiction is the connection. You have to be connected and you have to make a conscious choice to do for other people. That's what I have found helps me the most, is, connecting with other people. And when I'm worried, when I'm doing something for someone else, I'm not thinking about me. Yeah. Addiction is a thinking about me all the time, disease.

You know what? Somebody told me, and I thought this was so true. Addiction is the most selfish disease on the planet. When they're using, it's all about them. And then the recovery is all about them. On both ends of it, it is a me first disease. And it's really true. So that's why I think, and that is in the steps, like the giving back. But I think that's really, really true for addicts, but also for me as well. When I am, you know, doing stuff for others and not in my own head, that's a lesson. I feel better. Yeah, it feels good.

It feels good. But I do think pumps, like, think about all the family breakups, the divorces, the parents not talking to children, children not talking to parents that have come from Trump. Yeah. And I bet at some point somebody will do an addiction analysis on this thing. And I bet he has driven up addiction rates. Well, yeah, because it's uncertainty. Am I going to be, I mean, people are going broke in droves. People can't afford food. They can't afford housing. There's just no way around it because all the environmental factors are there. Plus, he's a fucking nutball. Are we going to go to war? Are we going to have a draft? Like all this

crazy shit. No, it's true. It's really stressful stuff. I mean, we use this. I mean, we all want to get on here and laugh, but sometimes I think I know that everybody listening loves somebody that's an addict, is struggled from addiction. Or, you know, yeah. And so I think we have to sometimes talk about these things. And I appreciate the dog support group. I really do. I would be a member of one. But I would never equate having the normal frustrations with dogs to, you know, other things.

That was my only pushback on that. But I do love some of the parts of it about, you know, the wiener dogs and stuff like that. I think are quite hilarious. And just dog culture in particular is hilarious dog park culture. Like here's just a, I'll leave you all with this grievance. I've had it with people that take their dog to a dog park and take a ball for their dog. Right. Why would they even do that?

They want to play fetch inside the gates of the dog park with their specific dog and that specific ball. And that is just a bad plan from start to finish. and it causes a lot of fighting and shrunk. It causes fighting. You should know that. Yeah. And then I didn't bring a dog. And then I didn't bring a ball.

So then my dogs are looking at me like I'm the asshole owner. And I'm looking at that person like, well, thanks a lot. Right. You're making us all look back. You're like the mom that showed up with the homemade cookies when I went to Target and bought a box Oreos. You know, remember those moms? More than once. Oh, me too.

I'm like, cookies today. I'm like, oh, here we go. Here's some chips. Aoy. Take those to class. Yeah. And then there's some mom that's got, you guys. they will bring like four Tupperware containers.

Yeah. Nut free. Dairy free. And I'm just like, what just happened? I thought we were supposed to bring. It's crazy. Yeah. Or the snack monitors.

Well, you can't bring a snack with this and so-and-so brought this. It's just like, we want to do healthy snacks. Like, shut the fuck up. Don't tell your kid not to eat it. But you know, with all the sex changes going on at school. Right. It's amazing. They have time to monitor the snacks.

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