I've Had It - Mommy's Going to Federal Prison
Episode Date: May 25, 2023Happy Thursday, Listeners. Jennifer and Pumps kick off this episode with a hot take on a cold criminal. We then embark on the journey through your many 'had its'. Our listeners had a lot to get off th...eir chests - from the friends that always reject your invitation only to then get mad if you stop inviting them to the blanketed baby photoshoots for every single month milestone on instagram. The girls also discover the one instance Jennifer would happily attend a gender reveal party... Thank you to our sponsors: Lume: Control body odor, ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and $5 off of your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code HADIT at lumedeodorant.com/hadit #lumepod HoneyLove: Get 20% off @honeylove with promo code HADIT at https://honeylove.com/hadit #honeylovepod CareOf: For 50% off your first Care/of order, go to TakeCareOf.com and enter code hadit50 Athletic Greens: Go to athleticgreens.com/HADIT for a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Hint Water: Visit hintwater.com to get $1 a bottle with free shipping, when you order 3 cases. That's 36 bottles for $36 plus free shipping. Just use code HADIT at checkout. Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps
Transcript
Discussion (0)
So we're supposed to start the podcast.
Hi, Ginny, welcome.
Well, thank you so much for welcoming a lowly old co-star, such as myself, to your show
in which you are the star.
Oh, yes, I am the star.
We would like to welcome our listeners to this Thursday edition, bonus edition of,
I've had it, I'm Jennifer.
I'm Angie.
And what were we gonna call her Kylie?
Oh, the Princess Diana of Oklahoma City.
I think we can call you the Princess Diana of podcasting.
I think I'll start calling you Jessica.
That was such a good burn.
God, that was good.
It's hard on you.
Oh, that's so good.
Kylie is here, Richard is here.
And before we move forward, I want to read a comment that was this on TikTok.
Kylie, yes.
And his name is Ty Rayan, one, one, two.
Okay, and he comments,
every atom of their beings are the exact opposite
of a Karen.
So I would like to take that comment
and cram it up.
Everybody's ass on all the social media sites
that referred to us as a Karen
because this motherfucker knows what's up.
God, he has our back, doesn't he?
Yes, he does, and I love him.
I love that, I love him.
Although I've kind of embraced being a Karen,
I kind of think I am.
I just have had it with you embracing shit like that,
you're embracing aging, I've had it,
it's not a positive thing to be a Karen.
Don't say you're a person.
But it's not bad, it's bad.
I don't think it's bad.
It's very bad.
Richard, I mean, it's, you're like a busy body over, it's bad. It's bad. I don't think it's bad. It's very bad. Richard, I mean, it's your like a busy body over.
It's bad.
It's aggressive.
It's a, you do not want to embrace being a Karen.
Okay, okay.
I mean, stop it.
Stop with them.
Get bangs when I turn 60.
I'm embracing being a Karen.
My glasses just always have full.
There's nothing, nothing full about being a Karen. These women are awful. Speaking of awful women, this is
just like a pulp culture thing I have to talk about. Okay, the
Elizabeth Holmes, you know, the Theranos person, the blood
company. Yes, the quote unquote, dropout. Yes, racket
complete racket. The biggest racket up to a billion dollar
racket. Yeah, where she got like Henry Kissinger and
other famous people to back a product that was all fake.
She was lying about it from the jump.
So she gets arrested.
And she has, when her trial, her trial is supposed to start, she has to delay it because
she's having a baby. Which I'm like, would you really have a baby
when you know your guilty is sin and gonna get a jail?
But apparently she didn't.
This is her first baby or second baby?
First baby.
So then she's supposed to go to jail in February,
but she can't because she's had a second baby.
So she has to postpone going to jail.
So now this woman has had two kids knowing she was guilty
as soon as going to spend a ton of her life in jail.
In the federal prison.
In the federal prison, which I'm just like,
so you're using a baby to keep yourself out of jail.
This is called selfish breeding.
Selfish breeding.
Yes, there are selfish breeders that breed for completely selfish reasons.
And I think this needs to be taught about at school.
Some people think like they're in a relationship.
I'm going to get pregnant so this relationship will continue.
Selfish breeding.
Well, I just think I'm going to get pregnant
so I can delay going to the federal penitentiary.
Right.
Selfish breeding.
There's a lot of people out there that are breeding
that should not be breeding and the fact that they're doing it is selfish.
Yeah. Well, I mean, there's a lot of reasons you shouldn't breed.
Mine is a perfect example.
I mean, my kids are great,
but I mean, I should have skipped that entire part of my life
where I was breeding with my ex-hats.
What would you do with your time?
If you did not have these kids.
I don't know what I would do.
I would be so sad.
I know.
As you once told me, I'd have other kids
that I'd love just as much.
Ha-ha-ha-ha. No, I think it me, I'd have other kids that I'd love just as much. Ha ha ha ha.
No, I think it is, I watched the whole show.
That was unbelievable.
It's unbelievable.
I'm sure a lot of podcasts have covered this,
but we're a new podcast,
so we're gonna if I can talk about it.
Yeah.
But all of these smart people that bought into it.
Right, and she never showed them the prototype, really.
Bananas.
But I mean, she had it sold and was using it in wall greens,
and it didn't exist.
But isn't the baby daddy of these two kids?
Isn't he like a billionaire?
He's a billionaire, which I'm like,
you know they're gonna break up with she's in jail.
Maybe he would want to be my boyfriend.
My billionaire boyfriend.
I mean, what do you think is wrong with him?
I have thought that before.
Like, you know she's going to jail,
now you have these two little bitty kids with her.
Because you know he's gonna dump her flat.
I mean, he wants to spend a decade of their life
with somebody in jail.
No. Every weekend going to visit them.
No, and I think they said she's going to test it.
But you know what, this gal,
this is like five star entitlement.
Right. She felt so entitled that she had this idea and she saw
the Zuckerbergs and all of these people, the Jeff Bezos, that became billionaires. And so she
thought, I'm going to invent something like they did. And I'm going to be a billionaire. And it's
like she just thought it. She tried to manifest it. This is one manifesting as bullshit.
If she could have manifested it, what would happen? She manifested a manifest it. This is one thing. She's manifesting as bullshit. If she could have manifested, it would have happened.
She manifested a prison sentence.
It's not happening.
She had this idea and then she lies to everybody.
But the sense that she should still be taking in
all of this money is complete entitlement.
Right.
The fact that she's having these kids
when she can't mother them,
right, is complete entitlement.
I mean, this is just completely,
she does not think the rules of the world apply to her
and she feels very entitled to create a fake billion dollar
business.
Right.
And then she creates these very real children
right that are going to be raised motherless
for the most important years of their development.
She's going to be in the Pokey.
Right, she's going to be in jail.
And here's my whole thing with it.
If you got arrested after you already had kids,
that's different.
It's just, I mean, obviously you don't want to be a criminal
whatever.
But to have kids born at such a time that it delays your trial
and then delays your sentencing because she was supposed to go
in February to report to jail.
But she got extended to April because she had a baby.
How long was her sentence?
Like 11 years.
But I mean, that is just fat ass.
She's fat ass.
It is entitlement.
She felt narcissism too.
Narcissistic.
She should not be breeding at all. I mean,
that was immediate. I'm charged with multiple federal crimes. Right. I think perhaps I'm not going
to have a baby right now. She wanted to freeze her eggs. Do it. Right. Good for her. Have a
surrogate like it's her choice. And at the end of the day, I believe having a child is
everybody's choice, right?
Not the fucking Republican parties. That's for God damn sure. Right. But it's her choice to do so.
But I fundamentally
judge the choice of doing it right before you're about to do an 11-year
Stent, stent, in prison. For fraud. Here's another thing that begs me about her.
Remember when she was in the middle of being
the queen of Shiba, Theranos,
she made her voice very deep like this.
Yes.
And she only wore black clothes.
Yes.
Like Steve Jobs, right, right.
And said, I don't want to have to think about what I wear
because I'm so focused on my work.
Shat, the fac, app. She'm so focused on my work. Shut the fuck up.
She was so focused on ripping everybody up.
Right.
I mean, just a total fraud.
I don't know.
I think it's weird.
That's just my little pop culture blur for today.
So stick with I've had it for more hot takes from pumps.
But right now, we want to hear some hot takes.
We want to hear from our listener.
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Kylie, who's first?
Up first we've got Hannah E.
Hey y'all.
So I don't really have an I've had it,
but I have something that I won't y'all's opinion zone,
specifically Jennifer.
So this week in somebody in my town
had a pickle ball, gender reveal party.
So the dad hit a ball with the pickle ball,
racket, paddle, whatever it is,
and that revealed the baby's gender.
So I know y'all hate gender reveals,
but no, Jennifer, you love pickle balls.
So I just really want to know
y'all's thoughts on this situation. Love y'all, love listening to y'all.
I've got all my friends listening to y'all.
And yeah, I would just love to know what you think.
Hannah, what I would call what you just proposed to me,
which is a gender reveal pickleball party.
I would call this hijacking of an innocent sport by a bunch of
grandstanders that are bragging about having a child about reproducing
which every species does. Every species reproduces. This is hijacking. This is this is holding an innocent sport captive.
This is abusive, this is non,
I don't think it's really consenting.
I don't think you should have powder
coming out of a pickle ball.
That's what I wondered.
How is the cork going to look after that powder?
It's selfish.
It's just another example of how selfish these gender reveal parties are.
And I have had it with that.
I mean, that upsets me.
I mean, that very much upsets me
that somebody tried to bastardize pickleball
with these goddamn gender reveal parties
and marry these two things that should not be married.
So not be marrying.
Those two should not be together.
What if the only way you could play pickleball
is if there was a gender reveal for a whole week.
Like you could play every single day
but you had to go to the gender reveal pickleball party
or no pickleball for a week.
I'd go to that fucking party with enthusiasm.
I'd be like, what are you talking about a podcast
that trashes gender reveal party?
I love a gender reveal.
No idea what you're talking about.
I mean, God, I think this is the best idea ever.
Ever.
Next, I think we should have a party about breathing oxygen.
Right.
And I'll start hosting it.
Yeah.
I'll start hosting it.
You know, humans breathe oxygen party.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
And I love her accent.
Oh, I love it.
Good.
I do too.
I do too. Okay. Good, Tyler. Not too. Not too.
Okay, next we've got Cody S.
Hey, y'all.
So I was, I was being a bad girl
and I was, um, I was scrolling on Facebook
while driving in traffic.
But you know what I've had it with is
these women with babies
that have to take a picture of their child
on some dumb blanket every single month.
I'm like, what is this?
A survival chart.
Brace and Brace and Paisley poo made it to two months, then to six months.
And I'm just like, when did this become a thing?
My mom could care less that I made it to the next month.
She was just waiting for me to get to kindergarten so that she could carry on with her life.
I've had it with all the baby, fullery.
Lord Jesus.
Oh my gosh, he's fantastic.
I've seen this.
I have to, these are the people that throw gender reveal parties
that now are chronicling first month with a photo on the blanket and then
it's the second month, the third month, and it goes on and on.
And I mean, I, number one, when our kids were little, I was a terrible documentarian.
I was a horrible historian.
Like, I don't think I have one picture of Luckelson before the I found camera.
It was so like, I was so in the trenches. And then I didn't really remember like,
somebody would say, held your baby
and I would have to think about it.
And they, oh, they're three months old, actually today.
Right.
But it wasn't something I consciously did.
So let's unpackage this.
Okay.
It's now starting with the gender reveal, right?
And then we have a baby shower, and indoor sprinkle,
right, a couple, a couple. And then we have the sip and sea. And then these girls are getting blowouts
and a full face of makeup for the post delivery photograph. I look like hammered dog shit
after I gave birth to my kids. The last thing I was thinking about was putting on makeup.
Right. And those are trotted out. And then now we're celebrating month and documenting and posting it on the World Wide
Web every month.
I just think it goes back to, if you want to take that picture for your own personal photo
album, Swing for the Fences, I think it's a great idea for you to have.
I'm sure your kid will appreciate it.
Spare the rest of the world because nobody gives a shit
about your baby being two months or three months,
but you.
Can you imagine like as bad as the helicopter mom shit is
right now, and my youngest child is a sophomore
in high school.
So these people have infants right now
that are doing this.
Oh my gosh. Imagine
what's going to be going on at these schools with this breed of power moms, which blows us
out of the water. Right. I mean, it is going to be, I mean, God, those, I mean, I feel bad
for teachers, those school boards. Yeah. Those, it's very difficult to deal with parents.
It's the worst part of being a teacher or pediatrician,
anything that you have to deal with somebody's kids,
the parents are the worst part.
Because they think they're kids, the smartest,
the funniest, the cutest, the most put upon,
why didn't you play Little Johnny Moritz soccer?
He's three and even though he came out and sat on my lap
for half the time, he should have started.
Like stupid shit.
Yeah.
No, I agree with him.
There's just, there's, it goes back to this.
I think what we're identifying here
is their Yak Malson real life.
And then there's Yak Malthing on social media.
Well, I think it all goes back to the one-appsmanship
from social media.
Like if one of your friends in your friend group does it, then everybody has to do it.
I think it's Yak Malthing on social media.
Well, that's a lot of things.
If you're posting all of that about your baby all the time, I mean, that's a family group
text.
Oh, for sure.
Yeah, at best.
At best.
Yeah, I don't, I mean, and when I go back to like my mom's house, there's not a whole lot
of pictures of me when I was little. I don't think my mom has five pictures of me
period to be
Is fucked up as pumps in me. Don't photograph your kids
Don't talk. That's the secret sauce. That's and then your kids can grow up and have a podcast wherein all they do is just high quality shit talk.
Yes.
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Okay, next is Emily B. So I'm just sitting here at my desk at work, which is
really where all of the things that I've had it with come to life. But something that I've had it with is this whole notion of, I want to be invited to everything
but I'm not going to show up.
That is the most selfish bullshit I've ever heard in my life.
And the thing is, if I keep inviting you to shit and you don't show up, I'm simply
just going to stop inviting you. I see it all the time, oh, I want to be invited, but
I'm never going to come. Well, then I'm never inviting you, bitch.
Emily. So I would say with Emily about this, most of the time, 99% of the time, I don't
even want to be invited and I'm not going to come. My feelings are not hurt. If it's a
good friend of mine, I want to be the rejector. Right. I don't want to be, I don't want to
get the non invite from a really good friend. But the majority of the time, I'm happy to
not be invited to stuff. Yeah, I don't know time, I'm happy to not be invited to stuff.
Yeah, oh no, I'm totally happy not to be invited to stuff.
I think she sounds younger.
So she's probably in that age
where you're having get-togethers
and doing dinner club and bunco
and all that crap you do when you're young
before you have kids and you have a life.
And it sounds like somebody's constantly going,
well, are you gonna invite me or are you gonna invite me?
Which first of all, I hate the person
that assumes that they have to be invited.
Like, you don't have to be invited.
I told my kids that from the chat.
Blighted too.
You're not gonna be invited to everybody's birthday party.
Right.
So and so how to party and you didn't get invited?
You'll get invited next time.
Like, not everybody has to be invited to everything.
Right.
But this person in particular that she's talking about
sounds like they want to be invited
so they can big time you just so they can say,
oh, well, I will invite it.
So I just think not only do you not invite
or do your parties, you just say,
we're not friends anymore.
Don't talk to me.
I'm out.
You would just say it's over.
It's over.
This friendship is over.
You're too high maintenance.
High maintenance.
The whole
getting invited, not getting invited to stuff. People get so butt hurt over it.
For the most part, I just don't give a shit. I just don't give a shit. I'm
relieved when I didn't have to go to stuff. Sometimes being invited to stuff is
a burden. Yeah. There are certain invitations that you receive where there is a
relationship in place that is such that you receive where there is a relationship in place
that is such that you cannot reject it, but you want to reject it, right? But you cannot,
because it would put that relationship in a precarious position. And so, I mean, all in all,
you know, not everybody gets invited to everything. Right. And it's not a big deal.
Who's next? Up next, we've got Becca P.
right and it's not a big deal who's next up next we've got Becca P
Girls this is my second memo to you and I'm sorry not sorry, but I
Did I mean there's a lot of mother fuckers out there, you know this one is for people that post
Selfies of themselves with random inspirational quotes to justify the fact that they're posting yet another selfie of themselves
Just post the picture of yourself, you fucking narcissist. I'm just saying, hey, here's another picture of me.
Again, have a nice day.
We don't need to hear from Denzel Washington, the Dolly Lama.
None of that.
All right, we're good.
Just post your damn selfie.
I've had it.
Plus, PS, I just left Target and had to wait on some motherfucker to ask in
nose front into a parking spot. But you know what? It made me laugh this time, and I appreciate
the fact that you changed my heart about that. Thank you, girls. Love the podcast.
Oh my gosh, I love her. I wish she would do it every week.
Absolutely. Love it. Okay, 1,000%.
So they're post in a selfie.
But look, I'm quoting the Dalai Lama
because I'm so spiritual and oops,
look how hot I look in this photo.
Fuck off.
I mean, fuck off.
Like if you're gonna post a picture yourself, post it.
Right, I don't know.
And with that, fucking post it.
What the caller is getting in at is that they're trying to disguise it with like inspirational
stuff.
Like they're helping their followers with this sage advice when really it's just a great
picture of themself.
Exactly.
But here's something that cracks me up about social media.
Is when you see somebody who like their avatar is about 20 years old and they're my age
Well, they're they're 20 years older than what their avatars
Doesn't matter what age they are
I'm just saying that you know, you've got somebody whose avatar is always when they were in their prime
It is false advertisement where maybe they're 50 and they're posting a photograph
of themself as their profile picture when they were 30. Yeah, no. Well, I think that's false advertising.
Ted Cruz is the worst. Remember, we looked on his one day. Yes. It's like, that was 30 pounds and
30 years ago. Yes. I mean, false advertising. He is the worst. Okay. Next, we've got Phoenix J.
advertising. He is the worst. Okay, next we've got Phoenix J.
Hi ladies, obsessed with your podcast, by the way.
And this is a hello from James in Bristol, England.
I've absolutely had it with email formalities.
Hope you well.
No, you don't.
It's 8am on a Monday.
I don't even care if I'm well.
I don't care if you're well. Just's 8am on a Monday. I don't even care if I'm well.
I don't care if you're well.
Just get to the fucking point.
Hope you're well.
Kind regards.
How was your weekend?
No.
unnecessary interactions.
I've had it.
I mean, he love that accent.
Love we have a man from England.
Yeah.
I mean, I could just do a car rail.
I'm so excited.
No, but he's right.
He's 100% right.
It is.
I hope this email finds you well,
and it's all of this.
There is a lot of unnecessary
yak melting and emails.
See, I think that's one thing about being a lawyer.
There's not a whole lot of just like,
it's just like, I looked over this, there's not a whole lot of just like, it's just like, I looked over this,
well, there's not a whole lot of pleasantries exchanged
through email where I find that that bugs the shit out of me
is when somebody haven't talked to him in five years,
but they need something they know I have.
And they text me, well, how are you?
How are the kids?
Hey, can I borrow this or that?
I'm like, just text me and say, hey, can I borrow your deal?
Like, we don't have to go through the formalities
of chit chat and small talk.
Let's just get right to it.
I'm texting you because I need to borrow your jumper cables
for whatever it is.
We don't have to, well, so how are the kids?
No, I don't care.
You can have the jumper cables
if I don't have to chit chat about,
because then what happens is, I just't care. You can have the jumper cables. If I don't have to chit chat about, because then what happens is I just answer,
like, yes, I'll put them on my front porch,
and then I have to go backtrack and think
and ask about their kids and all that.
And then I'm just like,
fat, why didn't they just ask for what they wanted?
Yeah, no, there is a lot of unnecessary interactions
with people, and it's just beating around the bush.
Right, and it's also like the reason texting
is so preferable to telephone calls
is because you do have to do the small talk,
chit chat, when you call, but when you text,
you can just go straight to the point, right?
Some people don't do that.
I receive as for what I do for a living,
if somebody has like a question, I get a lot of people that. I receive as for what I do for a living. If somebody has like a question
I get a lot of people that because I'm an interior designer that think that they can reach out to me
About a paint color about a sofa people that I don't know will message me stuff on Instagram
Like here's what my living room looks like right now
And I want this to happen and I'm just like I don't fucking do this shit for free. I don't. I don't like go. If my friend owns a restaurant, bogey owns a restaurant.
When I go there, I pay for my food. Right. I don't just expect that I'm going to get it done for
free. You probably get this with law. Yeah. People think they can just, although you did represent me for free. Right, well, in my divorce. But it's just, there's so much unnecessary posturing
before they ask for the free advice
and before they ask for the favor.
And I would respect the person so much more
if they didn't posture so much
and beat around the bush so much.
Agreed, just get straight to it.
It makes it easier.
Everybody knows what we're talking about. We don't have to like, why is she texting me? There was a meme recently on, I don't know if you'll
saw this, where it's like about email formalities, but they changed the closing. Instead of,
just, instead of sincerely or yours truly, it says like hanging on by a thread.
like hanging on by a thread. That's an email I would enjoy.
Yeah, so maybe we could twist it up a little bit.
Like, you know, dear pumps,
I hope your Monday is a shitty as mine is.
Here's what I need for you.
Yes, see I like that.
Yeah, I agree.
Okay, thank you, Lillian.
Thank you, Lillian.
For your amazing, great voice mimmas, they really are such a highlight.
Please DM us some more to our Instagram account and Kylie will sift through those
to see if you can get picked.
Let us know what you've had it with.
Get crazy with it.
Get crazy with that.
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It's Tuesday.
Or both.
Well, because it's a Thursday.
Right.
So the next time we'll see them, we'll be Thursday.
Okay.
See you next Tuesday.
So we will see you next Tuesday, listener.
Thank you.
Tell you what I've had with.
Look here.
I'm out.
I'm out. I'm with that. I'm John Glover.
Emmy Award-winning researcher, John Glover, and I'm Marisa Pinson.
Critically unacclaimed TV writer, Marisa Pinson.
And we're the host of the new podcast on brand with John and Marisa.
Join us every week for an exploration of the world's most interesting and iconic brands,
like Walmart.
Do they still have the old people who say welcome to Walmart?
Nope, they got rid of them. You just want more old people in the store.
I want every staff member to be over 90 and Heinz.
Heinz. Heinz.
Heinz, I say Heinz.
I'm like a determined dictator.
And while you learn about these legendary brands, you'll also learn a bit about us.
Hey John, do you still sleep in shoes?
There's probably, I would say probably three times a year I fall asleep in shoes.
You told me the thing that you should never look under a Costco chicken.
Well, I don't think you should ever look under a chicken.
So tune in every Wednesday for a brand new episode of On Brand with John and Marissa.
Available May 24th wherever you get your podcasts.
See you there.
new episode of On Brand with John and Marissa.
Available May 24th wherever you get your podcasts.
See you there!