I've Had It - My Heart and Legs are Open

Episode Date: December 12, 2023

Jennifer and Pumps get real kinky in today's episode. Jennifer does a dramatic reading of a recent article detailing the BDSM world of Conservatives and Liberals. The girls also listen to your voice memos covering topics from the toothpicking pants-hiking chili-eating old men that call waitresses “darlin” to the gay couples out there that continuously get asked if they’re siblings. Come see I've Had It live on the Hot Sh*t Tour! More info & tickets available at https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast and subscribe to I've Had It wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you to our sponsors: Bombas: Go to Bombas.com/HADIT and use code HADIT for twenty percent off your first purchase. Gravity Defyer Shoes: Don't wait and head to GDEFY.com and use code HADIT30 for $30 off orders of $150 or more. Lume: Visit LumeDeodorant.com today and use code HADIT for $5 off your Lume Starter Pack and returning customers get $5 off their next purchase of $30 or more. Nutrafol: Take the first step to visibly thicker, healthier hair. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners ten dollars off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code HADIT. Warby Parker: Try 5 pairs of glasses at home for free at warbyparker.com/hadit Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

So we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready, one, two, three. Nailed it. Nailed it. It's gonna be a great episode and it's a great day here at I've had it. Pumps, how are you today? I'm great. How are you? You look so festive and fun

and got some great colors going. That's me, festive fun. Always a beacon of fashion. Always. Always. Always, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with is elevator etiquette. People that bum rush the elevator

before the occupants get out on the floor, it's the rootest, second thing I've ever seen. It's rampant It's like people don't know what the polite Like rules are but you do not bum-rush the person like the other day. I saw this I was waiting for the elevator Elevator comes. There's this lady standing next to me Elevator door opens. There's a couple in there, couple three people, they're trying to get out. She just slams her ass right into those people. They all have to back up so that she can get on.

And I'm like, girlfriend, it's not going anywhere till everybody's off and on, so just chill. I just thought it was so weird and I was like, I've had it with that. It's rude. Well, it's more than just rude. There's a logistical issue to it. Yes, it'd be like, if a plane lands,

and the next flight tried to board before the landing flight exited. Right, so it makes perfect sense that you have to evacuate the elevator before it can be reloaded. Correct, I mean, it's not hard. It's not like the elevator is it can be reloaded. Correct. I mean, it's not hard. It's not like the elevator is going to be open for two seconds

and you have to get on and off quickly. As long as there's people going back and forth, the elevator sensors won't let it close, but I just thought it was just a breathtaking lack of self-awareness that I've seen to be noticing quite a bit. Yeah, I've seen that a lot too. Especially at hotels. Yeah, I mean, my habits are chocked full of lack of self-awareness.

It's just, it's unbelievable. What have you had it with? I have had it with couples that are pregnant, okay. And they're pretty far along. And you say, what are you having? And they say, boy. And then you say, what are you going to name it? And they said, we're not telling anyone.

I've had that happen before. I know exactly what you're talking about. Here's the thing. And I'm always like, why aren't you telling anyone? And they're like, well, we don't want people to still our name is one option. Because they're the only person that's ever thought of that name in the whole world. Number two is they're like, we don't want to hear people's feedback about the name.

I kind of get that too, but I also think that like when I named my son Roman, I remember telling my parents and my dad was like, I don't really like that name. And I was like, I don't really care. Right. And his name is Roman. Right. And he is totally a Roman. And I just think sometimes there's this whole, and I get it because you're pregnant, it's new, it's a first, it seems like one of the biggest things you've ever done. Which it is. And then, It seems like one of the biggest things you've ever done. Which it is. And then, but the secrecy around either,

like we're not telling anybody what the gender is, or we're not telling anybody what the name is. Everybody's gonna find out, imminently. Well, here's my thing on that. Number one, when you ask somebody who's hugely pregnant, what kind of baby, or you know, what's the sexier baby, what's the name? You don't really give a shit.

You're trying to make conversation. That's right. I mean, at the end of the day, you don't really care. Number two, the whole, I'm afraid they're going to name someone else. I have a situation. I think you're aware of it where these people have a kid like three years later, someone in their friend's circle, names their child the same name. And the mom of the first born child was mad.

And I just thought, you don't have a copyright on the name. You're a fucking nutball. Totally. There's a million names. There's a million duplicates of names. So why don't you stop acting like you're the only person that's ever named a child in the history of the world? I think there's a lot of narcissism coming with pregnancy. I've lived it. I have been that narcissistic pregnant woman where you think everybody

cares. Everybody's interested. Everybody's excited. Everybody's fascinated. And actually, I'm going to defend you. You weren't that way. I wasn't. No. I would say, what are you having? Boy, what are the names you're considering? I remember with your son Luke, it was Elijah and Luke, right? And he said, which one do you like better? And I said, Luke, and he said, that's what I'm leaning towards. Right. And this was like early on. I mean, you just weren't that way. I think there's this whole like everybody's so like the name. Of course, it's super important to the pregnant couple, but it is such an imminent announcement.

That's the part that gets me. Like the person seven months pregnant, right. What are you going to name the child? We're not telling anyone. It's like, okay, I'll wait the 60 days because everybody's gonna know, including the IRS, the federal government, the DMV, social security office, everybody's going to know this fucker's name.

Right. I don't know why it's a secret. I don't know why people are so weird. I just, the thing that gets me about it is just how imminent it is. What gets me about it is people actually think you care and you're not just making conversation. I mean, that's, that's the real bra for me. Yeah, I don't know, it just kind of begs me. I asked somebody recently what they were gonna name their kid

and they're like, we're not telling anybody. And I'm like, well, do you know? Oh, yes, we already know, right? Like, so what's the difference? Tell me now or tell me in two months. It's not like this lifelong secret. The clock is ticking, and the announcement will be public record. That's the part that gets me.

Yeah, I guess my thing is, by the time I leave the conversation with the person, I don't even remember their pregnant in 60 days, nor do I care what their kids name is. Exactly. I just don't understand the psychology of belaboring something that's imminent. I think people just, they just think everybody's interested in what they're doing and they're just wrong. Just trying to be nice. Welcome to I've Had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She is Judge Judy Diana.

You're ridiculous. In the star of the show, she has a little booster cushion for her feet. Yup, because I have short legs. I'm all body, no legs. She has a little booster cushion for her feet. Yup. Cause I have short legs. I'm all body, no legs. All body, no legs. Yup. Star of the show.

Kylie, how are you today? I'm good, how are you? Good. What's going on in the worldwide web? We got an Instagram comment that I have to read to you guys. Okay. Okay, this first one, I really, really love. It's from Dead True Leaders Club on Instagram

and they write, ew, I'm like disgusted, I'm knuckles deep in this podcast. And then I'm on the episode where the big lesbian is talking about how she treated that dog scout. Hahaha. Hahaha. See, I have no shame in it. She can just hate me all she wants. The problem is you're hurting our listenership with this bad pet ownership. Yeah, I can't apologize for it.

You know what this reminds me of? What? Where the fuck is Commander Biden? Poor Commander. I think he's in Delaware. I googled this morning because I was worried about him. And the last article was posted, the most recent update was October 6th, that he had bitten several people more than previously reported. He had been acting out. And they were moving him out of the White House, and it's crickets. Crickets.

I'm sure he's in Delaware with some, you know, a house staff or something. We're scout. If I could find out or care. I don't think we're ever getting that listener back, Kylie. No, rightfully so. Yeah. Okay, I've got another one that's a really sweet message from Jesse. Hi, my name's Jesse. I'm 25 years old. Wow. Okay, I've got another one that's a really sweet message from Jessie.

Hi, my name's Jessie. I'm 25 years old. I was kicked out at 17 for being gay. My parents are hardcore Christians. I have two sisters and one brother and was disowned by my whole family. Thank you for understanding. Thank you for pushing this content out

and thank you for making me not feel so alone. Thank you so much for being an ally. Hey, in America is so real, religious trauma is as well, and it's been a long road. My gosh, I'm tear-dap. That takes so much courage to write that, and that makes me so horribly sad that somebody would reject their child

for something that the child has no control over. No, that really makes me sad for him. It's just unfair and I can't imagine that. I really can't. I know it happens, but it's heartbreaking. It really is. That just really breaks my heart. I mean, I think it happens so much more than what people realize because when we do our live shows, we have like a meet and greet option. And a lot of people sign up for that. And we get these people who are members of the LGBTQ plus community. And they come up to us and they say, thank you so much for speaking out. I

never in a million years thought to middle-aged white Southern women would be big allies for me. But my families rejected me, friends, their hometown churches. And that's, you know, I've said this on an episode before and I'm going to say it again, the problem is not with people's sexuality. The problem is with dogmatic religion. That is the one that harms people. Gay people don't harm people. They just want to go live their life, make a sandwich, go to a movie, maybe hit a club, no difference in any other person. 100% and the judgment that other people cast is just it's wrong. It's appalling. It makes you want to just bitch slap somebody. It does. And I think it the part that is so insidious to me is that these over religious groups try to claim the moral

high ground. I know. and they're the worst people. When in fact, their behavior is so immoral, immoral, and anti to what Jesus would do. Right, so Jesse, you are always welcome here. We love you. Thank you for your comment. I have a review that's going to cheer you right up, Judge Judy. Okay, what is it?

Five stars my legs are open. Dear Judy Diana Princess, I dream of you every night. Those hot red lips and grown-out roots make me feel some type of way. If you ever want to try anything my heart and legs are open. Me Princessa, pumpkin tina, my flumpsha was fairy, my spicy scissor slut. You are beautiful and don't ever forget that. What? That is so. What was that on?

That is a Apple review. At five stars? Five stars. I would think so. Wow. I mean, I mean, one lesbian wants nothing to do with you. Right. And this other one is just like, let's sizzle.

I'm bothered. Sizzle immediately. I mean, I am just feeling just, 20, 20. Like a spicy sizzle? Like a spicy, oh my gosh, that's what I need to be. Spicy sizzle, S-S- need to be. Spicy scissor slut. SSS, I like it. I like it.

Yeah, that was hilarious. Okay. The Washington Post just released an article that is fantastic. Okay. This is the kind of political content that I like. Okay. This is the kind of political content that I like. Okay. So basically, everything so polarized and everything so politically charged right now. And in the world of sexual fetishes, crossing the political aisle has become a kink. Okay. So like, if you're a Republican

or a Democrat, you go with the opposite person to get off. Right. Okay. There was a video posted by a 39-year-old Tampa resident under her stage name, Roxy Ray. She's one of the dozens on clips for sale, an adult video sharing website where content creators cater to all types of sexual fetishes, including one that is rarely discussed outside the niche kink circles. This is called political humiliation kinks. There are a number of people who get turned on by the idea of having their political views mocked, usually by members of the opposing political group. Liberals desire being dominated by conservatives and called pejoratives that imply that they are weak and unintelligent. While conservatives want to be mocked for supporting former President Donald Trump,

among other perceived transgressions, according to those who participate in this sub culture. Okay, so one of the users says, I'm liberal, leftists and proud, but I really want to be dominated by a conservative. I'm very, very, very much a liberal and a friends and family were to have any clue they would be shocked. So some of the things that they wanna do

is one man wanted to meet up and described his fantasy is wearing a Trump dog collar sold on the Trump's campaign website and being walked around Walmart to pick out his dog bone. I mean, what is happening? In one dream scenario, Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Bobert force him to vote straight red Donald Trump. So this goes both ways. You've got, then you have conservatives that want to be spanked by liberals for voting for Trump. I mean, that to me seems like the most innocuous of all of this, because people like to be dominated and spanked and all that.

I mean, that whole thing, I just, you know, you've told me I'm sexually repressed, maybe I am. I don't, I can't wrap my head around this. The only thing that sticks out to me is we're wearing dog collars at Walmart naked looking for a belt. I think the larger point that it is is all of this stuff exists in sexual kink worlds. Humiliation, domination, submission, that has been always will be a part of the kink world. What this article that the nuance that this article is diving into is that because everything is so polarized, you see politics being injected into the kink world.

And so now versus like maybe somebody wanted to be called a daddy or a bad boy or a bad girl. Now they want to be called, you know, like liberal. Yeah. Or you're such a bad boy for voting for Donald Trump. They're getting turned on. The politics, the divisiveness and the polarization of the political landscape in which we live is now being injected into the sub-culture of kink world. And this is kind of a new phenomenon.

All of the stuff that you just discussed, all of that stuff's always been there. Right, right. I just, I just, I mean, say to a massacism has been around forever, and ever, and ever, and ever. I remember the first time I heard what it was, and I was like,

and BDSM, I know a guy, you know this guy too. And during the whole 2016 campaign, when Kaylee McAnany was like, right there with Trump, and I think she was his, you know, campaign spokesperson or whatever. And then she was the White House press secretary. But this guy I know, and she'd always have on her little cross, her little crucifix necklace, this guy knows totally liberal. I mean, as far left as you can go, and he's like, I kind of want to fuck Kaling, Mack and Amy. He kind of wanted to have like this naughty, like, like,

like, Trist where he's like, you're such a bad little Trump Christian. He had this whole like sexual fantasy with Kaling, Mack and Amy. And I'd always take a picture when she would pop on the TV and text it to him. And he'd be like, that little bad slut. So it makes sense, you know? Yeah, totally does. But anyway, I just thought that was interesting. So it's just, well, here's the deal, the girls making money and good for her.

I mean, you know, Pumps, if you weren't so sexually repressed with your full-time hobby being, I'd probably be pretty good at it. I think you'd be really good. Maybe you could have an only fans account and humiliate Republicans. I bet I could. I really think I could excel at that.. Maybe you could have an only fans account and humiliate Republicans. I bet I could. I really think I could excel at that.

I think you could do. Here's what my question is. Are these video chat things recorded because I can't believe they're not like all over the internet. How do you make sure they're not recording? That would be my question. I don't know the answer to that. I'm not a member of the political kink culture.

I mean, but any of the video culture stuff, I would be scared it would be recorded. I mean, that's a huge fear. I mean, there's no question. I don't know if it's maybe some secure website that doesn't allow screen recording or anything you can always have your phone. Yeah, I don't know. The whole thing, it's just, it's just a big wide world out there away from my little brain. What's going on on the internet fetish world? Just can't really conceptualize.

I can't really get my head around it why that would be fun. But I know people love it. Pumps, I have the biggest gift buying hack ever. And I'm gonna share it with you because you're going to jump on the bandwagon So fast it's going to make your head spin. I can't wait to hear it. Bombas. Oh, I love their socks. Bombas has ready to go gift boxes filled with high quality basics. Your loved ones will enjoy all year long

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And use code Hadit at checkout. Bombas.com slash had it code had it. Pumps, did you know that hair thinning will happen in approximately one and two women? Well, I know who it's going to be in this group. Me, my hair is thinning. I've been using neutral fall and I feel so much better about it that I'm actually doing something to stop it. Millions of Americans pumps, they actually experience thinning here, and it's not only common, it's normal, but among women, it's not openly talked about and going through it can feel lonely and frustrating. You can join the thousands of women that are doing

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And my feet have had it. I mean, my whole body has had it from my perfectly manicured blown out here to my pedicured toes. I have had it with foot pain. Well I have a solution for you. Gravity to fire shoes. These shoes are so comfortable. You'll wonder if

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prices. So don't wait. Head to gdefi.com, gdefy.com and use code had it 30 for $30 off of orders of 150 or more at gdefy.com. You can think us later. All right, let's hear some voice mimos. Okay, at first we've got Abby. I've had it with living in the Bible belt. I can't go and get barbecue or go get my nails done, my hair done without a Christian song playing or if I'm eating a pulled pork sandwich I look up and there's a picture of Jesus staring down at me, deep-throating a fucking like corn on the cob or some shit.

But I'm tired of being in the South where that is just normal culture and fashion and decor for a standard business. Yeah, I've had it. I mean, I relate to that. I do. It irritates me as well. I'm not in Ubers that much, but I have been in Ubers lately, where you hear a lot of like questionable music that if I were entertaining the public at large, I would not play that music. And I just find it interesting that people are so immune

to the fact that people might not believe like they do. And they just like, if you're in an Uber, you could pick up 50 different thousand religious people. I think you're missing the big messaging of Christianity as opposed to all of the other religions, the proselyzing aspect of it. They play it to recruit others. Oh, it's a recruiting tool. Really, it turns people off of it. Yes. It makes people less interested. Right. But I think in their mind, that's why they do that. There's a grocery store in Oklahoma City. And in the cement, like when they poured the slab for it, a guy wrote, I guess the owner of the grocery

store wrote in the cement, you know, you can add some message in it. Well, before it stride, God is good all the time. And then in this grocery store, they play exclusively Christian music. And I always just think, you know, I mean, that goes over here, you know, in Oklahoma. Right, but you could never do it anywhere else. And go then the South. Yeah, but I mean, I'm with her. I just think anytime you have somebody

like just overt religiosity, and especially because I see so much of what the particularly, particularly fundamentalist Christians that in the South, how cruel they are to LGBTQ plus communities, I just, the hypocrisy of the overt advertising of it always makes me cringe. And when I'm around large groups of them, I always just think I'm a little bit scared. I do. Just a little bit scared.

I think there's a whole veneer of just this manufactured shell of Steppard, wife kindness, and then you just get an inch behind it. And it is just fire and brimstone people are burning in hell consciously forever. And I just think that's kind of a weird fucking thing to think about other people. Yeah, that they're going to consciously burn forever. I just think it's it's just a whole different level of like you said, the proselyzing, but I'm just like it makes it goes the opposite way for me. The more you shove it down my throat, anything. Right. The more you shove it down, my throat, anything. Right. The more you shove it down, my throat, the less likely I am to engage in it.

I just don't, I think it's unattractive, it's unappealing. It makes me crazy in a new work. Kylie, didn't you have an Uber experience so today? I did. Jennifer, didn't you ask one to turn it off? I did. I was in Arizona and I had like an hour and a half drive. And the guy was blaring some Christian music.

And I had my AirPods in listening to a podcast, but I could still hear it. And I just took out the AirPods and I said, do you mind changing the channel? And he did. But I was just like, I don't, I mean, like, I'm paying for this service. Well, I think that's entirely appropriate.

I'm not a church. I just genuinely don't, I mean, like, I'm paying for this service. I think that's entirely appropriate. I'm not a church. I just genuinely don't, I just don't want to hear this. And I mean, truth be told, I probably would have had to do the same if it was country music. I'm not a big fan of that either. I mean, no disrespect to people who like country music. It's just not as genre of music I like. And I just think the whole like Christianity for capitalism thing

is something that's missed by that entire community. Like it's, you know, the Christian rock genre or pop genre is a billion dollar industry. Right. All of these mega churches, billions of dollars. And it's just, there's so much from my vantage point that I see where I'm just like, you know, they're just missing it. Hashtag almost. Hashtag almost. All right, next we've got Faith. Hi, Ginny and Pumpers. It's day.

I'm a server in bartender and there's a very particular grievance that has been bringing my blood to a rolling boil recently. And it's parents who insist on having their small, small children order for themselves during rush hour. I'm not your child's speech therapist. I'm not here to work through her speech impediment

with you. I'm your server. And my section is a rupting into chaos while a little Miss McKenzie struggles to tell me if she wants ranch with her chicken tenders. Do better, work on it at home. I've had it. Stop being fucking losers. She's a hundred percent right. There's nothing more irritating when you're busy as a server than somebody's child not being able to say what they want. I mean that is a great had it. It is fantastic and it extends beyond just the ordering. Right. Sometimes you'll run into somebody that you haven't seen in years. Yes.

And they have a toddler that you'd never met before. And maybe you're in a target or some innocuous place and you're like, oh, hey, you know, Kate, it's so great to see you. Oh my gosh, look at your daughter. She's darling. McKincely, can you say hi to see you. Oh my gosh, look at your daughter. She's darling. McKinsey, can you say hi to Mrs. Welch? And then they start, and you go through this long, belabored, and say, I'm like, oh, we're good.

And they're like, then it's like the parents doubling, tripling, quadrupling, down, and she's two or three. You know, this is not going to happen, but it's beyond, it's horrible with waitressing and bartending, but you know, I mean, she brings up something, what are all these toddlers doing at bars? You call them little drinks.

Maybe they are. A restaurant recently added a bad parent surcharge and they've been doing it's $50. And it says it on their menu, I've got it pulled up. Adult search charge for adult unable to parent. I love that. That's fantastic. I love that.

That is a great idea. Balls out move. Good for them. It's a great idea. It's a great idea. Because people just act like in a restaurant. First of all, it's disrespectful to the server because they're trying to make money

and the more tables they turn over, the more many they make. And so for McKinsey to take 27 minutes to order chicken nuggets and fries, it's just disrespectful. And I don't like public baby talking with kids. Like you're in public hearing public is like, may I sleep do you want the chicken or the pizza?

Just say, hey girl, do you want the chicken or the pizza today? It's just the constant baby talking, not only adult to adult, but when you hear a parent doing it to a kid in public and they always, it's always much higher volume than everything else. I'm like, why are we baby talk screaming about chicken nuggets in the middle of the restaurant? I just hate baby talk period.

I do too. I mean, it's just ridiculous. Now, that's a great habit. Okay, next is someone that you all love was a guest on our pod. It's from Renee Stubbs. Oh, yay. Okay, ladies, it's your favorite Aussie Renee. Anyway, you know what I've had it with? And I could go on for days about my annoyance level when I travel,

because I've been doing it a really long time between people at TSA, to people that try and put bags up on the plane that don't fit, and you're like, you fucking idiot, it's not gonna fit, they're blocking everyone getting on the plane. I mean, my list is long. But the thing that annoys me as much as anything at an airport is people that hover over the baggage claim. Guys, you can see your bag from 10 feet away. So take a fucking step back, like they do in Japan, they actually have a line in Japan that you're we're gonna land across over until you can get you back. So another thing to love about the Japanese. But you can see your back from 10 feet away when it

comes off, go up to the bag and take it off. Until then, step the fuck back. I love me some Renee Stubbs. I mean, Renee Stubbs is so fantastic. It's unbelievable. Renee Stubbs is so good, but she is so spot on. 100% right. These are the carousel hovering hogs. They are, and it's so unnecessary.

It is so unnecessary to stand three or four inches away. Like the other day, we were traveling back from the hot shit tour, is so unnecessary to stand three or four inches away. Like the other day, we were traveling back from the hot shit tour and we had all of those bags with our merch, right? And there were people like, Havi that travels with us was close to the front. I took about 10 feet back. We all did.

Because I knew like he's gonna pull it out. Then there were all of these people coming up trying to get in front of him, and then trying to cut him off, and I just stood back and watched the whole thing go down. So Renee is so spot on about how ridiculous people are in airports. What also bugs me about the whole carousel hog

is that they like look at every bag tag. It's like you're so close, you have to look at the bag tag to know which bag is yours, put a, put a ribbon on it. Get the fuck back, it's not that hard. Get a bag that's a different color. Get your ass back. People are just so, I think it bring,

I think airports bring out the worst in people. They bring out, not only the worst, but the most incompetent. Oh my God, it just, it just like breeds incompetence. There's this whole like race, race to go on the plane first, race to get off the plane first, race to get through TSA,

race to get your bag when really you can't control any of it. Right, you're sitting there for two hours no matter what. Maybe Renee could teach a master class and surrendering at the airport. She's, she's saying surrender to it. Step back, wait till you see your bag, surrender that you can't control when your bag comes

and then step up and get it. Yeah, but I just think people are, I mean, that's the most obvious thing on the world. I mean, that's like the master of the obvious. Like you can't make your bag come faster. Right. But yet people are just ants and your pants to get them. Oh no.

It's obnoxious. I love her nice stabs though. Oh, I love her so much. She's the best. Pams, let's face it, the holidays are incredibly stressful. Under our reindeer sweaters, we're stress sweating about gifts, cooking, and whatever that one opinionated uncle is about to say next.

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WarbyParker.com slash had it. Okay, next we've got Alex. Hello, Jettin pumps. I, my name's Alex. I'm from Texas. I have fucking had it with these random fucking people who want to strike conversations about it nowhere. I am an average average-hited Mexican man and my husband is a 5-11 pasty white man and as we're in line trying to fucking do this return because my cats decided they didn't want the fucking litter box we bought this old bitch decides to ask us if we're twins. Man, we're at least like eight shades apart and not only that, there's a solid

five, six inches of height difference. No, he fucks me. We are not twins babe. Just mind your business. Stay in the cashier lane leave us leave people the fucking loan bitch Oh my god a couple of things before before we can even get to the twin comment did he say His cats didn't like the litter box Which my first thought was so can you return it after the cats pissed in it, but I don't know, maybe the cat didn't piss in it. The cats did not like that box. So they go make a return. Gay men are the best.

They're the best. I mean, there is nothing too good for their pets. Nothing too good. Uh-huh. I love that. Oh my gosh. But yes, why would she ask them if they were twins? Right.

Is it like a nervous tick because she thought they were gay? Well, you know, I don't know. I have not a gay thing, but I have like, if I'm sitting in a room and it's silent, I feel like I have to talk. Makes me nervous if I'm just sitting and people are silent. I don't have it like in a line or in public,

but if I'm like in a car with someone that I don't know very well and we're not talking, it makes me nervous than I talk. You start feeding cats. I start feeding cats. I start feeding stray cats. But this I think you just break it down to, this is a fucking yak mouth that has no idea what's going on in the world. Let me just ask you, I think it was a few episodes back.

You were talking about somebody in the world. Let me just ask you. I think it was a few episodes back You were talking about Somebody in the in the register line. Yeah. Yeah. I did that what book she was buying a book. I'm yeah I'm bad about it. I Am bad about this is one of these things pumps where you totally Went and I have a bunch of these two where you've had it with it, but you do it, but you can't help yourself. Sometimes you get out that meow mix and you start fucking pouring bowls of cat food for these stray cats. I do. And they just keep running back and back and back.

Yeah, I'm so guilty of it, but I do not ask. I don't even ask people that look like twins if they're twins because I know like sisters don't like it or mother daughters What goes all through me the most is when people are like? Did you think like oh is this your sister when it's your mother? It's like that's clearly trying to flatter the mother Everybody sees through it except the person it's happening to and it bugs the shit out of me I agree with you. It's superficial flattery. It's superficial flattery. And I don't like it.

It's so obvious. Yes, it's so obvious. And so many people like it. And the people who like it need to stop liking it. So we can just end superficial flattery. I agree. I don't fall prey to superficial flattery. I kind of spot it.

And I'm just like, I kind of go, it makes me the other way. Yeah, it's not like you. It's like you're trying to shovel shit and I'm out. Yeah. I'm not interested at all. Kylie, do you like superficial flattery?

I like all flattery. To be honest, there's not much I would turn away. Yeah. There was one time in college. This is a bad story. Okay, let's hear it. We had been drinking and I lived near the strip in my college away. Yeah. There was one time in college. This is a bad story. OK, let's hear it. We had been drinking and I lived near the strip in my college town.

OK. So I decided to walk home. And this car cat called me out the window. And I was like, it was stop. And so then I decided I wanted maybe cat called one more time. So then I started walking up and down, seeing if maybe I could get cat called one more time. You're working the block? I was working more time. So then I started locking up and down, seeing if maybe I could get cat cold one more time. You're working the block?

I was working the block. Working the block, see if you can get a cat call. Yeah, I like flattery. You started working the block. I did. Did you get a second cat call? I can't remember. I'm guessing no, probably not.

You would remember if you got a second cat call, no fans. Yeah, and in my head, I looked good and strutting, but it's just this drunk girl probably crawling up and down this whole street back and forth. They're probably like, you see that fucking drunk? Let's see if we can cat collar and see what she does. It worked. I like it. She's 10 years later, she's so proud of it.

Yeah. Are you twins? That'd be like me asking you and Anna if you're twins. Right, exactly. That's a common thing if like two lesbians look like they have the same color hair pretty much. They get asked if they're sisters all the time or besties on and I get besties.

I wonder if it's some kind of nervous tick around like, or way to start to have conversation with gay people. I don't know, that's interesting. That is interesting. So they ask you if you guys are sisters, not on and I don't know, that's interesting. That is interesting. So they ask you if you guys are sisters, not on in I, but they say that would never. I have friends, they're both brunette. And so they get sisters all the time.

Are these the lesbians that came to our live show and dexas? They're nothing alike, but they are both dark headed. Listener, we have to share a story with you all. We shared it at the live show, but you all need to know that there is an egregious violation going on in the lesbian community. And here's what it is. Kylie has these two friends. They're door-linked as cute as they could be. They get engaged.

One gal, as the other gal, will you marry me? The other gal, yes. They have an engagement party. Everybody attends, everybody, you know, claps their hands, raw raw siss boom ball, the lesbians are getting married. And then in a rather surprising turn of events, it's not finished. That's not the end. The other guy, the one that said yes, then re-ass, like reverse the script, and she has the initial proposal. Will you marry me back? And then she says yes. And then they have another engagement party

and what this is. And you know I love the lezzies. You know I love them. Look at Kylie and Pumps sitting there. I love them so much. This is a classic case of double dipping. It's a double dip. It's a double dip. When she told us that, we couldn't even believe it. We were like, what? And then I tried to like, well, maybe they have like ones from one state, ones from one country. They have different sets of friends that don't know each other. So it's better to have the party and then Kylie says

The same people attended both see that's a total double dip because it's a double dip on the guest list as well And let me tell you something listener these gals have the best sense of humor. Yeah, they were at our live show in Dallas We roasted them. They are just like we're roasting them now. They Instagrammed it they're just like we're roasting them now. They Instagrambed it. These girls took it on the chin and I love these lezzies so much, but I'm gonna tell you something. This is a slippery slope. I'm starting to see Duol Jinder reveal parties. Right. Are they having two weddings? Are they having two weddings with two sets of bridesmaids that are the same? Are they having two honeymoon, two showers, two wedding showers? I just think this is a slippery slope. To slippery slope, we love these lesbians.

We love you, girls so much. Support lesbian marriage. I mean, I think the two engagement. You all want to have a crack at marriage, swing for the fences. I hope you're better at it than we are. All right, Kylie who's next? All right, the last one is from Kara. Hi, I'm Kara.

Number one, I fucking love you guys. I love Tuesdays and Thursdays every week because I get to tune in. You're fucking incredible. Number two, what I've had it out the goddamn wazoo with is old men that come into a restaurant and they say weird fucking creepy perverted shit to the server Because they know that our income relies on that shitty tip that they're about to leave us like you're sitting there with

Chilly dripping down your chin and you smell like wet dog food and the only thing you should be flirting with is fucking death I've had it. I've had it. I love you guys She's so right. She is so right. And we've talked about this before. How these men just look in the mirror and they're really not that attractive. What they say to themselves is, I am so fuckable. It's ridiculous. Everybody wants a piece of this self-serve. And these are the guys that, you know, the kind that kind of chew on the toothpicks. Yes, exactly. And then when they stand up, they do this awkward,

like pull up over the belly. And then they got the toothpick going and then they hike up one side over the butt and they hike up the other. And there's nothing fuckable about them at all. No, not even remotely attractive, I mean, I don't know if there's a bottle of vodka big enough that could make it appealing. But she is, and then you know what, there's a really good point she has in there.

And that is, if you work for tips, because waiters make well below minimum wage before tips. And if you work in this industry, that you would fall prey to sexism or sexually charged comments or misogyny or sexism and you really kind of have to sit there and take it or you're not gonna make any money. Right. Or you and here's the deal My guess is most of the misogynistic dicks that do this are not good tippers. If I were guess that's what she said. Yeah, yeah She said their average tip. I mean, it's horrible. Yeah. But I just think that's bullshit. I mean, the Me Too's movement has come far, not far enough. Obviously,

it's just like you said, they're not feckable. They're never going to be feckable. If they left a $5,000 tip, they're still not feckable. Right. But they think they're cute and funny and clever. And that's, that's the disconnect from reality right there. It's the middle aged toothpick crowd. Have you seen those Kylie? Absolutely. The toothpick and then the high, the pant hi cats stand the

pant hi. As they do it, they kind of like look around, like look at how hot I am. And I'm like, do you not realize you're having to hike that up because you're belly's so big? Yeah. Well, and I can tell you're dick super small. You should be able to get up that high. Have y'all ever seen men that come out of the bathroom and they have a little TT dribble on their pants? Yes.

Oh my gosh, I'm always just like, oh my gosh, it's the worst. Yeah, I've seen that. It's so bad. Yeah. Unless you're a gay man, the grooming is lackluster. Yeah. Gay men have the bar so high.

Yeah. But it's like the straight men aren't even trying. Yeah, some are. Some are. Yeah. But we live in Oklahoma. Right. We have a skewed view.

Men that groom themselves would be perceived as sissies. But you get to the coast and out of this, you know, that's true This culture that we live in it's definitely regional and grooming and stuff is kind of celebrating and have it celebrated and having good hygiene Here, it's like what kind of sister you you took a shower and you rest your teeth right? Yeah, that's a good one. I kind of forgot about that. How about the chili on the on the chin? It's just I remember when I waited tables. I remember that and they're always smacking. It's like, yes.

Well, darling. Yes, there's like this smack and a wink. And then the two pink. Yes. I forgot about the wink. Yeah, the wink. Yeah. I forgot about the wink, yeah, the wink. Yeah. I hate to bring it back to airports,

but my girlfriend, Kayla, was recently traveling with her mother to Philadelphia, and her mom did a faux pas and wore flip flops in the airport. And as she was in the TSA line, a guy who was just another passenger on the airplane, she took off her shoes and he said, Oh my God, you have beautiful feet. And she said, Thank you. See, that's another reason not to wear because you got these

foot fetish, the foot fetish thing. Yes, I have this guy that's DMed me for years. And he asked me what color my toes are painted and asked me to send pictures of my feet. I know and you sent him to me. I did. I said I'd like to introduce you to my friend. And I was just like, you feed that cat. I don't.

I'm just like, I'm out. I never said, I never respond. Yeah, but he like, you're like, thank you and stuff. Not in the DMs. On my, on my post, he writes Jennifer Welch age 20, which I immediately like like the post. Right. Well, listen, up, listener, please come see us at the hot shit

tour we're doing California in January. The great cities of Los Angeles, San Francisco and San Diego, there are still some tickets left. Send us a voice memo to our Instagram. Join us on Patreon for fresh, new, exciting content. Each and every week, and we're gonna be cranking out more now that Kylie's bitch has joined us. Right, Homs, why don't you tell him? We will see you next Tuesday, or Thursday, or both.

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