I've Had It - Nefarious Neighbors

Episode Date: August 24, 2023

Jennifer and Pumps cannot get enough of the f**kery going on in the Nextdoor App. From feline self-defense classes to 'abdocating' for dogs on death row, we've got it all. The girls also give a detailed "how to" course on looking your very best for school pick-up and drop-off and when/if it is appropriate to only wear a robe. Come see I've Had It live on the Hot Sh*t Tour! More info & tickets available at https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Thank you to our sponsors: This episode is brought to you by SimpliSafe: Get a special 20% off any SimpliSafe system when you sign up for Fast Protect Monitoring. This huge offer is for a limited time only. So visit SimpliSafe.com/HADIT - There’s no safe like SimpliSafe. SKIMS: SKIMS Fits Everybody and more best-selling essentials are available now at SKIMS.com + get free shipping on orders over seventy five dollars! After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Select "I've Had It" in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. JustThrive: use promo code HADIT for 20% your first 90 day bottle of Just Thrive probiotic or Just Calm at JustThriveHealth.com OSEA: Right now we have a special discount just for our listeners. Get 10% off your first order site-wide with code HADIT at OSEAMalibu.com. You’ll get free samples with every order, and free shipping on orders over $60. Kitsch: Right now, Kitsch is offering you 30% off your entire order at MyKitsch.com/HADIT Apartments.com: With more than one million available units for rent, and tools like instant alerts and 3D virtual tours, you’re sure to find the place that’s right for you. Visit Apartment.com, the place to find a place. Hint Water: New customers can get Hint for just $1 a bottle with free shipping, when they order 3 cases. That's 36 bottles for $36 and free shipping. Just use the code [HADIT] at hintwater.com Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

This episode is brought to you by SimplySafe. So we supposed to start the podcast. One, two, three. Right off the bat. Crushed it and listen to pubs. Attorney at law just came from the courthouse. It was so fucking hot, I thought I was gonna die. But you look so lawyerly, an academic and professional.

Well, I am an academic, I think you forget. There's no question. I'm only gonna be a professor next year. There's an Harvard. No question, I mean, and I don't think we remind the listeners enough about your academic prowess. That's right. I mean, no.

It's always just, you know, kind of me brow beating a hair and there about stuff, but you are an attorney and a hot one at that. Well, thank you. And Tim, for sure. Podcasting star, an icon. Absolutely. An icon in the podcasting world, pops. You know, we did that next door episode. So fun.

People loved it. Yeah, it's so good. I've been just creeping on my neighborhood when just for shits and giggles. Okay, let's welcome everyone to I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. And she's the star of our show,

the Princess Diana of podcasting attorney at law litigator at large boss bitch of the podcasting world. Kylie's here and Richard is still on vacation. So Morgan is stepping in. Kylie, what's been going on with you? Not much, I just have to deal with you guys every day. Not the funnest. It's a treat.

It really is. It's a treat. It really is. It's a treat. When I'm out in public, I get asked, are they really, are they really nice? Are they really funny? Like, yeah. What cracks me up is that first time, you were just taking a back that were huggers.

Oh my gosh. I almost sounded like you said hookers. Taking a back? I was taking a back by that as well. Huggers. Oh, huggers. I thought you said hookers instead of huggers. Taking a back by the as well. Huggers. Oh, Huggers. I thought you said hookers instead of huggers. Taking it back by the fact that we're hookers.

That lid, take me back. All right. So what I think we need to do is just deep dive right into these again. So Linda posts on her neighborhood app, Flag Day with an American flag emoji. Tomorrow is Flag Day. So don't forget to put with an American flag emoji. Okay. Tomorrow is flag day. So don't forget to put out your American flag emoji. MAGA, three exclamation points. And then Kate responds, go fuck yourself Linda.

Oh my god, Kate! Killed it. With a smiley face emoji. So what did Linda say back? That's all I got. I didn't get any further. No back and forth, no fist fighting, nothing. Typically from what I've seen on the World Wide Web

of the MAGA people, like they can't stop. I mean, it's like they have a table of cocaine in front of them. And they have no cartilage left in their nose. And they cannot stop in the comments section. It is explosive diary. So I imagine, I just saw this cut and paste it on the internet. I imagine that Linda probably completely unraveled and quite possibly still is doing, you know, cocaine bender about this flag day. I like Kate. I love Kate. Go fuck yourself, Linda. I love Kate.

Go fuck yourself Linda. I love it that she didn't try to suit it up. She didn't try to do it anonymously. Yes, and I also think what Kate's getting to here is instead of trying to argue with a crazy person that's a member of a cult, but you want to say something back, keep it simple. Right. Straight forward. They can understand. Go fuck yourself, Linda. That's it. That's beautiful. Instead of like, you know, Donald Trump is a fascist and

mentally unstable and a malignant narcissist. And because that is not going to penetrate with Linda. Right. You know, Linda's got, you know, Trump and all these people in her spank bank for God knows whatever reason. And Kate just immediately was just like, go fuck yourself Linda, smiley face emoji. This smiley face emoji is the best. Okay, Kylie, what do you have?

I've got one right up the same, Ali. This one's from John, all caps, urgent, help. My son visited and blocked Fox on my TV. I don't trust digital or any of the iTunes. Fox is all that's allowed in this household. How can I unblock Fox? I told my son I'm taking him out of the will. How much do you love the sun? I mean, he's taken action. Honestly, he had it. Honestly, it is such the sun is really smart and that's like a total intervention because Fox is causing brain rot in like the boomer generation. I think the average age of a Fox viewer is like 65. Okay, these people should be retired enjoying their grandchildren, approaching retirement,

children, approaching retirement, traveling, and instead, they're mad. They are so fucking mad. And here's the thing about like Fox. During the whole COVID thing, and then the Trumpers started all the anti-vax thing, which was weird because that, I did not like Trump. I didn't really approve of anything he did in his presidency, but they got that vaccine out quickly. They did. And so that's the one thing that he kind of did well or funded for it to be done well. I mean, let's not kid ourselves. He wouldn't do that. He did. But that's the one. And then they're all like anti-vaxxers, but at Fox, you had to be vaccinated to go in the building.

That would drive me crazy. And so these people are just sold a jet stream of bullshit that the anchors themselves don't believe. There's text messages that have been uncovered where Sean Hannity Browbeats Trump, Tucker Carlson, Laura, they all talk about what a netty is. Right. But the the Trumpers, the old boomer Trumpers act act they're all just such Raving lunatics and then they just cave and it's like That's I mean they pitch such temper tantrums that everybody just has to oh we can upset these privileged white people So we're gonna keep throwing them this red meat to rile them up. It's gross. It's gross. I praise the Sun I praise the Sun Sun's five stars five stars for him them up. It's gross. It's gross. I praise the son. I praise the son. Son's five stars. Five stars for him. Okay, here's one. It's a picture of a what looks like a canine.

Okay. And I'm going to go ahead and say it's a coyote. Okay. So somebody photographed a coyote walking in the middle of the street. They post the photograph and then they put warning no chances aggressive dog no leash This dog just charged at my dog. I'm alerting animal control now and I will press charges. I will prosecute How do you prosecute a dog? I don't know. I mean, that's like, who are you prosecuting? Like, this is a wild animal. A wild animal. I do know that if your dog bites another human, that they can give your dog the death penalty

if the city comes and picks them up. They've had trials over that in municipal court that I've heard of. But in this case, even if it was an owned coyote, you couldn't see the owner for him being aggressive with the dog. That's just stupid. I'm just so glad I started off this podcast today reminding our listener that you are an

attorney at law. Right. And I have seen the death penalty cases ever in me. She is a canine death penalty attorney listener. Advocate. Yeah. Advocate. Advocate for the pet owner. Advocate?

Advocate. Advocating for the pet owner not to have their dog killed. That's what you know what? I think that that's what you should do. In all my free time? Yeah, a death penalty, a canine death penalty advocate. Right. That's exactly what I want to spend my time doing.

I think that, you know, I think number one entry of the permanent record, Kylie, could you please pull out the permanent record? Kitop of the first page says, pumps is not a good pet owner. So now you think I'd like redeem myself? Yes, this is the pumps canine redemption tour. You can go represent dogs

and maybe they'd be like rather juicy trials. Like, you know, maybe some guy was a total dick to somebody's dog, provoked the dog. The dog acted in self-defense, but then the dog is getting sentenced to the death penalty. Right. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- Da-da-da-da-da-da. Done. Pops, attorney at law. K9 advocate.

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Some of our younger listeners don't know about the People's Court. Oh, that was a great one. And that was the theme song that I was doing. The People's Court, remember Doug Luellen? Yes, Doug Luellen. Totally remember him.

Yeah, you all have to look that up on YouTube if you're younger. It was this court show with Judge Wapner. Yes. And it was called the People's Court. And they would go in and they would sit in front of Judge Wapner and then he'd decide on it. And then as they were leaving, there was Doug Luelland.

He would interview the plaintiff and the defendant. And this was like back in the day when you had to watch what was on TV. Right. You had no choice. This is like you couldn't like now. It's so great. You can be like, I want to watch the people's court. And you can go find it on the internet or on TV. But we had to watch what was on TV. So we watched a lot of bad television ads that was so bad.

It was good. Right. And it's like ingrained into our 1980s memory. Yes. Doug Luellen, judge, bad it was good. Right. And it's like ingrained indoor 1980s memory. Yes. Doug Luellen, Judge Wapner, the People's Court. Kylie, have you ever heard of this? I've heard of it, but I thought you were done the law and order theme song.

No, that was the People's Court. Dun dun dun dun. Wasn't it? Yes. Yes. As they walked in. Yes, they walked in. I know.

I opened the door. Yeah, it was really good. It was good. It was so bad. It was good. Pumps were so busy with this podcast. And you being the star of the show, it's important that your hair always look fantastic. And I'm so glad that we have discovered Kitch with its cult like following satin pillow cases, caps and I'm asked great for your hair and skin while you sleep. So you can work on your beauty while you sleep.

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That simplysafe.com slash had it. There's no safe like simply safe. What comes to mind when you picture the perfect roommate? One who comes when you call, one who doesn't forget to lock the door, one who doesn't steal your milk, just a little bit at a time, hoping you won't notice. At apartments.com, we understand that when it comes to roommates, a pet can be your best pet. They're easy going, eat what you serve them, and they never clog

the toilet. That's why we have the most pet-friendly rental listings on the internet. And with instant alerts, you'll know the moment your perfect pet-friendly place becomes available. So when you need a place that's pet-friendly and human-tolerant, check out apartments.com The place to find your pet friendly place. Okay, Kylie, who's next? Up next, we've got Linda. She writes, question, my grandson is saying, WAP. I think that is how it's spelled. Over and over again, and will not tell me what it means.

Does it mean white, Anglo-protistant? Because I am Catholic, and he knows this would get on my nerves. With a cross emoji. Oh bless her heart. Bless her heart. I mean, she's in for a rude awakening when she finds out what that is. A rude awakening. Oh my gosh, white, Anglo-Protestant.

Who even thinks that's an acronym anymore? Ever. A lot of those Fox viewers we talked about a couple questions ago. We're so insulated from it, but I mean they are loud and proud. I would have to think the WAP song was all over Fox News. Was it not? Does anybody know? It was.

I think Bench, yeah it was. They lost their mind. But here's what I have to say about the WAP song. Generally these people are like, we're patriots and we support freedom. America is all about opportunity. You can come to America and you have opportunities. So here's a black woman that writes a song. It goes viral beyond globally. Everybody sings it. Laps all the way to the bank. Total American dream shit. And they just have a couple problems with it. And so therefore, the whole freedom capitalist thing, you know, they squash that down, then

the puritanism rises up. It's not applicable to anyone that doesn't believe what they want to believe. Exactly. Only applicable to our people and what we think and our ideals. That's right, counselor. Fuck off. Oh, it's my turn. Okay.

The wop, though, man. And, post. The subject is moms of middle school boys. We have a lot of young people vaping. Signs to look for include new friends, frequent use of air freshener, taking book bag everywhere, hanging out at pizza hut, strange Uber charges on your bank statement, unusually tired, suddenly walking everywhere. Be on the alert. Don't be afraid to search in their book bag, their rooms. I have the names of

a few boys that have been vaping. P-M. She does not. Wait, hang on. P-M, not D-M. P-M-Me, if you would like more information. Several things to unpack here. I don't know why she's dragging pizza head. Right, what pizza head do? They're starting from pizza, that's it. She's dragging. She's dragging. The neighbor. Yeah.

Walking everywhere. That's good exercise. And how else are they gonna get there? They're in middle school. And then, a red flag, and I brought this up a few episodes ago, I think you can pull it back. The PM. The PM, right.

This is what we have here. Now listen, we are mothers of sons and my oldest son, I remember finding out like finding a vape and I'm just like, you can't do that. Here's why X Y Z. When I was in high school I started smoking cigarettes. And some of this stuff, it's like, it's just the normal growth that people go through in life. You experiment with alcohol, vapes, in our day, it was cigarettes. I think cigarettes are making a comeback or so. I've heard cigarettes are just too easy to bust though, because you can smell it. You can smell it from a mile away. But this is the type of mom, when I talk about power moms that drive me crazy. There you go. She's. And is it. What about? Why don't you just keep track of your own kid, and mind your own fucking business. She put this on the neighborhood app.

I know that's what I'm thinking. Like, or now you're going to like start all the neighbors thinking these kids are bad because they're walking to the ground. I think some of these people are just so low IQ. They confuse like the neighborhood app with Twitter with Instagram with Facebook. LinkedIn, all those things. Yeah, it's just like, it's just word vomit, micro managing, trying to control other people. And if some mom called me and gave me all of this stuff,

number one, I'd probably goester. Right. And number two, I'd be appreciative that she showed me exactly what a psychopathic power mom she is because this is the type of person I want to avoid. 100% it's like she put her freak flag out, you see it, now you can avoid her. How about the no new friends in the backpack?

I mean, my kid goes everywhere with his backpack because he has changed for basketball, changed for, I mean, he changes 10 times a day. It's nuts. She needs to control her own kid. Guess what's gonna happen to her kid when he goes to college. Oh my God.

Crystal math. I was gonna say the Angie Sullivan College experience. But that did not include Crystal math. Everything, pretty much everything else. All right. This person wrote, help with cat. Okay, so I have a problem. My cat Tiffany loves to be an indoor outdoor cat.

The problem is that every time she goes out, she ends up in a fight that she loses 100% of the time because she's so small and untrained. Does anyone have any experience with feline self-defense training? Do you have a feline trainer that you recommend? I feel like that if she just had a few basic combat skills, she could hold her own a little better. Okay, first of all, what kind of net jobs thinks there's cat, martial arts, self-defense training? That's the biggest red flag to me.

There are trainings. There are pet training. I mean, there are dogs that you see at airports that full-time jobs. No, I understand that, but like self-defense training for a cat. I know. I kind of admire the post. I'm not going to lie. Oh, I think she falls in the category

of she's not understanding what this is for. This is to say there's a house on fire, three doors down. Right. Right. But I also, I also kind of appreciate her advocating for her cat to learn some skills that maybe she's not able to teach her at home. Keep her fucking inside. That's it. Your cat's supposed to play. The cat enjoys going outside. The cat's our pisses. We'll keep your cat in the backyard. We'll catch jump over fences, Pops.

Get it on a leash or something, take it for a walk. You don't put cats on leashes. I don't know, I hate cats, so I don't really care. What about the cat being named Tiffany? Love that. I don't hate that. My cat Tiffany. My cat Tiffany.

I love that. Okay, here we go, I've got one. Chickens. To my neighbor that complains to the city about my chickens, I want to thank you because I didn't know I'm allowed to have up to 25. And I don't even have half of that. So thanks for the complaint. I learned something today. Oh, that's fantastic. That is fantastic because that gets that little Complainer that busy body that gladdest crab. It's just like oh, I only have 12 now. I'm gonna have 25 fucker Yeah, then I'll throw eggs at your house now. I'm just kidding. She wanted that. All right Kylie. What's next?

Okay, we've got a bike posted for sale a Schwinn giant cypress bike. Okay Hardly ever used Xband was busy writing other things. I love that. She just called his hat out. You know what? So some some peak internet is when couples are fighting or divorcing, you feel like when you're having those problems because that's all you feel that's all you think about, you wake up to it, you go to sleep to it, you think everybody else is too. So then you start updating these things online.

And like peak social media for me personally, is when I see people that their relationship is deteriorating and they start posting updates about it on the worldwide web. And I know that that is really a horrible character trait of mine. I know it is listener, but I have a feeling that you all might just enjoy it too. Yeah, it's good stuff. I don't have that. I mean, I've never done that.

Like found somebody on my own, but you just wouldn't believe the Facebook messages and texts and posts that clients bring to me. I mean, people share way too much shit on the internet. Like, I'm just like, this is not on the internet. Like, was this a private message? And they're like, no, it was posted. I'm just like, who the fuck is that dumb? A lot of people. Oh, yeah. And then the problem is they posted.

And the time that they might take an hour, two, three, four hours to have buyers or more, right? Right. It's been screenshot and texted. Right. I mean, that ship is sailed at that point. And so like this poor lady, you know, with the bike. People know who she is. And then probably, you know, she slept on it, she woke up, and she thought, God, that's fucking dumb. I kind of like it. You know, and then I know, but you know, at some point,

when you're trying to get over stuff, you have to work towards getting over it and not trying to get everybody on your side. Oh, for sure. And so at some point, hopefully, she's like, God, that's that. Well, here we are talking about it on our podcast. Bringing it all back up for. Yep. Okay, here's one. Kat's seeking employment. Are you having a rodent problem around your home and property and can't seem to rid yourself of them, employ

a cat. The Humane Society of Charlotte is searching for adopters for outdoor community cats. You can learn more by contacting the Community Cat Program Manager at, and I list the phone number, and filling out a working cat adoption questionnaire. So you know, I mean, I again, I, people are doing things with cats that apparently you oppose. Well, I was just kind of thinking about the cat. Like, if a cat was going to get rid of a mouse, then I'd be down with that as long as they didn't like leave the mouse on my porch or anywhere. But I don't know, maybe the cat person and Tiffany the cat need to like connect

and Tiffany the cat can get a job. A job. Get her off the streets. Get her off the streets where she's beating up and abused. Yeah, Tiffany, if she could go to the Charlotte Humane Society, she might get a little Tiffany some skills. She might learn some skills that nobody can take from her. Right.

Yeah, no, the cat, the working cat, now so their community cats, like you don't see. I would imagine like a community of feral cats that are. Right. But that are fixed. We know like that have their claws. Yeah, that work, you know, they work a few blocks. Right.

They work out their own rodent patrol. So if you employ the cat, you're responsible for feeding it and vaccinations and all that, I guess. I don't know. When we remodeled our first house, I don't know, this is probably like 12, 13 years ago, we moved into an apartment while the house was being remodeled. There were all these cats that lived around the apartment community.

We fed them every day. It was just a community of feral cats that kept around the apartment community. And we fed them like every day. And it was just like a community of feral cats that kept rodents away. And I quite enjoyed them. I mean, we put food out, because I like animals. Right. And I'm a good person.

And I fed them, put food and water out. At the time I smoked cigarettes. So I'd go out and sit on the balcony, smoke a cigarette. Ballons. Talk to the cat. David's second hand smoke. So as a working cat's second hand smoke. So as a working cat with second hand smoke.

With empathy, my. With cancer. The edge pain for the medical. I used to wonder that about my dogs. Like, are they going to drop dead of lung cancer? And then I'm going to feel guilty. Thank God they haven't. Or my other one died.

But it wasn't a lung cancer was old age. He probably should have. Because that was when you smoked indoors. Bodie. You smoked inside with booty? For years. Do you want me to read the first entry of the permanent record again? Yeah. Everybody smoked indoors back then. I did, I think we did in college, but post college, I don't think I ever smoked inside ever again. It was past like the first three or four years like during law school.

Okay. So it had been the same timeframe, but I had Bode. Yeah. And that's when you were killing Bode. Killin Bode. But you lived to a ripe old age of 17. Oh, I remember that dog. He was sweet.

He was sweet. He was pretty good pet owner back then. Oh God, I loved him. I mean, I just didn't get out of bed for three days when he died. Then my father and I died and I didn't even cry. No, he sure did not. He sure did not.

I remember that phone call. He's dead. That's bad. Okay, here we go. Two guys in front of my door for four minutes. Oh goodness. They biked into my driveway and then stayed in front of my door for four whole minutes seriously, whoever you are, you need to drop off a note or something. The longer you stay, the more

suspicious you become. And here's a picture of the two boys that I believe are Mormons. No question about it. Are Mormons. But I will say this. I have fucking had it with religious solicitations at a door. Yeah, I've had it with all solicitations at the door. I have as well. But the like peak had it of all solicitations is some religious net that comes to my door. I remember when we lived at that house that I was talking about, the house on Fenwick before the house we have now, these two Mormons come to my door and I'm like, I'm just completely not interested. And these kids are like 18 years old.

Right. You know, so it's like, what are y'all putting them? I mean, that's bananas. Right. And they're like, well, no, but we want to, I'm sorry kids, I'm not into it. It's not gonna happen. Well, where church do you go to,

I'm like, this falls into the night of your business and I don't go to church. And it just, and it kinda goes. So then I like, they're fishy. I send them away. And then my kids are like walking back from the Plaza area.

And my kids bump into these kids and these kids are like, yeah, we were just at that house right there and that woman was so mean. And the kids come home and they're like, mom, you were so mean. I was like, I spared you. Listen, like these poor kids have been just indoctrinated out of wazoo and this is what their parents

and their church are making them do. Right, they'll think they'll go to like hell if they don't do it. Yeah, it's nuts. I did have a solicitation in my neighborhood the other day, the kids and I were coming home. And there was a guy on one of the, what do you call him? The deals that drive themselves. Scooter? Not a, but it's like the two wheels.

My head? I don't know. It's like you stand up on it. Scooter. Okay, a scooter stand up on it. A scooter. Okay, a scooter. So he's on the scooter and you can just tell by looking. He's selling something. He's kind of looking at the address instead of that.

And I'm like, okay, this guy's selling shit. Do not answer the door. No matter what happens, do not answer the door. So like 30 minutes go by the doorbell rings. And I'm just like, I thank God I've prepped everybody. We're not getting out the door. I hear Luke go, I'll get it and saw a scream across the house. Do not answer the door.

So he stood there for a minute, then he left, then he could try to do another Snipe attack, but we didn't do it. But I kind of felt bad, because you could tell, I mean, it's 105 degrees out, he's running around on a scooter, he had on long pants, like miserable job, I feel sorry for him,

but I just, I'm never gonna answer those, I'm dors, ever. Or I'm just like, okay, I'm not interested, I'm not interested in Clizet, I always feel bad. I don't. I just kind of like, oh, I feel bad, because it's not your fault that you're out here trying to shut this shit. No, I know, but I think we have to put an end to this,

like going to somebody's home, or calling their phone like these cold calls. That is corporate America needs to be stopped with that. I mean, it is such an invasion. You know, it's like, if I want something, I will go out and get it myself, and it'll be my idea, but it's all an extension of forced capitalism.

Yeah, or Google it and go find it. It's all forced capitalism, which were on the permanent record for opposing. Opposing. Kylie, what do you have? I've got a post from Karen. Okay. And she writes,

it's been bothering me for a while, so here goes. I'm sick of all the Karen reference remarks. I'm gonna start reporting everyone as harassment to those offenders learn some respect. I'm very kind and patient person, but I'm over it with this. Oh my gosh. She's the biggest Karen on the planet.

Right, because that's not Karen at all. Right. Reporting every single person. That's harassment. I mean, what the fuck, Karen, you sound like a moron. It's textbook. Oh my gosh, that's textbook. That's why they I mean, what the fuck, Karen, you sound like a moron. It's textbook. Oh my gosh, that's textbook. That's why they're Keren's.

Surely, like, if she's real and that isn't something on the internet trolling, I mean, you have to question it. We've got somebody who's trying to find their cat martial arts skills. Pumps, there's no question. The skims thing is totally creating the next generation of underwear for every single body. Agree, I love it. The bras, you don't even know you have them on.

I love the racer back bra let and I ordered it in sand so it was like, it's like a nude color. I'm telling you, it's like I don't have a bra on. It totally hides all the straps if I'm wearing a tank top. It's so comfortable, it's like liberating. I absolutely love their products. The fits everybody collection of underwear is super lightweight and molds to your body.

The battery saw fabric stretches to twice its size without ever losing its shape, meaning you get a perfect fit every time. Everything is available in sizes, XXS to 4X. Believe the hype, Schemes has over 100,000 five star reviews for a reason. Schemes fits everybody, and more bestselling essentials are available now at Schemes.com. Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75.

After you place your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you. Select Podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop-down menu that follows. Pumps, when I would think about you in the past and I would think about your gut and your bowel movements, I always just thought high-speed train wreck. Yeah, and you are not wrong. Now, when I think about you and I think about your gut, I think this woman is a beacon of gut health. Absolutely pooping regularly, no bloating, feeling great. The psychopiotic has been amazing.

I feel calmer, happier. It can be happier with the whole thing. What I love about this product is they have probiotics for dogs, which are my biological children. My dog loves it. The Frenchies are on the probiotic and they are thriving pardon the pun. Just thrive. Listener, if you're ready to take control of constipation, bloat, and stress and live your healthiest life yet, you can get 20% off your first 90-day

bottle of just calm and just thrive probiotic today. Visit justthrivehealth.com and use promo code had it. You know, Pops, I'm constantly worried about you drinking all of these sweeten teas and these oversized beverage cups. I know, but I'm doing so much better. I love hemp water. Hemp water is so good because let's face it. Regular water is so boring, it doesn't have any flavor, it gets tired, you know, you get sick of drinking it. But hint water has perfectly infused pure water with fruit essences to create authentic fruit flavors without any sugar, diet sweeteners, or calories. Their mission is to help people drink more water by making it taste great and taste great it does. Listener, you can find hemp water at retail stores like Walmart, Target, and Croger or have it delivered like I do direct to your door from HintWater.com.

New customers can get hemp for just a dollar a bottle with free shipping when they order three cases. That's 36 bottles for 36 dollars and free shipping. Just be sure to use the code, had it at checkout. Okay, here's one spy flowers. And it's an image of a fence with a sunflower growing up over the fence looking right into the neighbor's yard. Okay. My neighbor has this flower peaking into my backyard. I couldn't get close enough to see if there was a camera hidden inside. Is this even legal? Okay, my question would be,

if it's, why can you just climb up on your fence and look into it, that wouldn't be hard. I would imagine this person is probably 80. Well, but I'm also like, what are you doing at 80 that's so newsworthy that anybody would want to see it? People are so worried about being spied on. I mean, most people are boring.

I'm boring. Nobody would want to spy on me. Nobody would want to spy on you. But I think it's like, people think that everybody, you know, like when our kids were growing up, when my sons were younger, everybody thinks this. I'm like, nobody's thinking about you. Everybody's thinking about everybody's thinking about them. And it's always like, I immediately know that it's bullshit is when will everybody thinks, no, they don't.

If you're pulling out everybody, then you can't find one person. No, you're exactly right. Right. I mean, who says that all the time? DT. Uh-huh, Donald Trump. Always everybody knows it. And it's like, no, they don't because you're a fucking liar. It's always everybody knows it. And it's like, no, they don't because you're a fucking liar.

That's right. Yeah, no. OK, Kylie. This says, pull. What is a power bottom? And they write, I went for a walk with my grandkids who are 14 and 15. And we walked past these two men walking.

And one of them was in a shirt that said, power bottom. And my grandkids keep laughing and won't tell me what it means, help. You know, that's so good. You know, I mean, that is just good stuff right there. It's great great stuff We went to back when we were on the television show remember when we went to the gay pride parade

Yes, and that Baptist Church those hateful Baptist Church people were there And I made a sign to protest the protesters and my big sign said power bottom with an arrow And I stood next to the Baptist church people and like called them out for being power bottoms. And of course they just stood there, right? You know, it's like bananas. The, bananas. Okay, here's why power bottom.

Message to the thief, to the person who stole my plant and stand from my front porch, grow up. I hope you get diarrhea and stub your toe really hard. Don't walk by my house again. Nobody likes you. To my disease, grandmother, who was the original owner of the plant, please kill the plant.

It's not at home anymore. She's talking about grow up and she wants them to have diarrhea. Nobody likes you. I support it. The diarrhea curse you're all in. I do because somebody stole their plant and they're stand and they're mad. It was the deceased grandmother's plant and then she's like, I hope you get diary and stub your toe. Nobody likes you. I kind of support that kind of trolling. The thing is, that's all great and fine and well,

but you can't start it with grow up. I support it. I mean, you just can't, and I also support cat seeking self-defense training for the permanent record. I'm all in on the cursing. I just don't think you can say grow up before you curse someone with diarrhea.

That's just a personal preference. I like using next order to talk to your dead grandmother's ghost. Right, yes, that's the perfect forum. Exactly. Okay, this person writes, vandalism. This is the second time in a week that someone has put cheese on my car. Someone in this neighborhood is a failure as a parent and raised a piece of

garbage that can't respect other people's property. I will be filing a report with the police. Anyone that thought this was funny when this happened last time can just refrain from replying. I won't tolerate your acceptance of disrespect. And it's a slice of craft American cheese on the windshield. She's the crankiest old bitch in the whole neighborhood. I saw on Twitter that on black Twitter, people wrote why people call the police like it's customer service. It's so true. It's so true.

I would like to make a report that someone put American cheese on my car. Okay, great. We'll send the whole unit out to canvas. We'll send the captain out crime scene. I mean, we'll get everybody on it. Like who gives the fact take the cheese off, move on down the road. It's unbelievable, especially on this next door app. It's full of it's there next door app, it's full.

There's a lot of racism peppered in, and that's always white people. I am going to press charges. I am going to call the police over something that is not criminal. Right. Cheese abuse. Right.

I mean, it's just like no judge, no cop. They're not mean to come out there. Except take the cheese off, get a wipe, wipe it off, move on down the red. I mean, it's just not that hard. What a pussy. What a pussy. Okay, here's one. Women, please get off my computer.

Hello, recently when browsing the internet, I have noticed multiple hot single women in my area who want to meet up. Well, I do appreciate the support. And back in high school, I was quite the ladies man, I was captain of our racquetball team. I am now a happily married father of three lovely children and four grandchildren. So kindly, I ask you to please leave me alone

and let me browse the internet in peace. Thank you. I mean, he is just delusions of grandeur right there. I mean, he thinks he's so hot. He thinks an ad, a public service announcement that pops up for me, locals in your area, which is a paid advertisement. Right. Is about how key to you are.

Or all of these women who personally want to meet him hacking into his internet. Right, hacking his internet because he is such a hot piece of ass. There is nothing really more hysterical than boomers on the internet. It really is funny. Do we think he's a boomer? Yeah, he has grandkids.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's real like I struggle sometimes with the internet. I'm not going to lie. But I'm going to answer. I get what's going on. But there is a boomer deficiency on the internet consistently. You know, that that these people just kind of walk into it.

That'd be like me coming in and going, Kiley, oh my gosh, George Clooney and Brad Pitt. I mean, they're all over me. They're not leaving me alone, because they're like advertising something. It's the same thing. Okay, this is a question for pumps attorney at law. Oh, God.

Can I sue my beekeeper neighbor? Every day I see my neighbor's bees flying around my garden, stealing the pollen or nectar from my flowers. Then the bees go back to my neighbor and create honey. My neighbor then harvest the honey and sells it at the market for profit. I have never received so much as a jar of honey as compensation, and every day my neighbor's bees trespass and steal my flowers.

Oh my god. I was stung once when I was a child, so I know how dangerous bees can be. The way I see it, this is equivalent to a person's dog coming into my yard to steal balls or tools, then gives it back to his owner to sell for profit. Do I have legal ground to sue? What types of things should I begin documenting in order to prepare for the legal battle? What would be a fair settlement amount if my neighbor doesn't want to take this to court? Thanks for the help. battle. What would be a fair settlement amount if my neighbor doesn't want to take this to court? Thanks for the help. I mean, are we going to see how certain is legitimately serious? But okay, so let's let's talk about it. So you're,

this is your client, right? Okay, so what's your legal strategy here? Get the world's biggest fucking retainer on the planet. That just build the shit out of it. Build the shit out of it. Because you know, you could paper the shit out of that thing. I mean, I brought letters to the neighbor, the city. I mean, everybody would get a B expert in a honey x right. Yes.

I mean, black market honey expert. Export exporting to foreign countries. Exactly. I mean, like, so many things I would mail fraud, wire fraud. Let's get the bees on death row. Racketeering. What about all the bees on a racketeering charge? Yes, I'm going to sue the bees. I think I'd probably say, just get a net and just put it over your plants.

I mean, that's just not a hard fix. Right. But yeah, she's got bee. She's documenting now. She is. She's probably taking pictures out there. It is 12.0. Right. But yeah, she's got B. She's documenting now. She is. She's probably taking pictures out there.

It is 12.0 to you. And her Bs are taking my pollen. OK, so here is a post that was posted during COVID, during the quarantine. OK. Jerry posts. Just a thought went out and about When you do have to be out, please consider your dress

This might take a bit of effort, but let's avoid the temptation to go out in our PJs house slippers Grubb clothes you don't have to dress to the nines, but maybe consider clean neat casual clothes Maybe some brighter colors and fun designs It will make you feel better and also those around you and consider the same at home. Don't fall into the not-showering, men. Don't skip shaving, even if it's just every other day. Women, maybe do a bit of makeup and consider not being in your PJs all day. Just because we are experiencing your crisis, doesn't mean we have to be slops. He thought about it. He likes the primary colors.

Maybe tips for living. Throw in some fun designs on your outfits. Ladies, don't forget to put on a little touch of makeup. Touch of makeup. No two days without shaving. Here's the thing. I'm guilty of all that shit outside of COVID. I'm not scared to run with no bra up to the store real fast or anything. So Well, I remember you would like walk into the gym and pick up your kids and you'd be in a robe. No, that was drop off. Drop off. I would always drop off. I'm sorry, listener. It wasn't pick up. It was drop off. It was drop off that she walked into the school in a robe. Yeah. I mean, if I had to, I would. I don't care. Not pick up, but it was drop off that she walked into the school in a rope. Yeah, I mean, if I had to, I would. I don't care. Not pick up, but it was drop off.

Graduated into a no-bra t-shirt. That makes it. OK, the drop off. Don't you see the drop off? I'm sorry, I even brought it. I'm just glad she clarified. Yeah. And I would go to little convenience stores,

I mean, just right in in my robe. Is that for a drop off or a pick up if they can be after drop off, after drop off, and then just go ahead and run right in the convenience store in the robe. But you wouldn't have done that on a pick up. No, not on a pick up. Not only a drop off.

Only a drop off. I've had it listeners. Please note, acceptable to run around in robe and or PJs when you're in the drop off phase of the day. If you're in the pickup phase of the day, we're going to go with what Jerry suggests here and consider clean, neat, casual clothes, maybe some brighter colors and fun designs. Women just to touch a makeup and make sure you shave at least every other day. Right. That's for the pickup mode. Right. But when we're heading to drop off, it's a fucking free ball.

That's right. It's eat what you kill, you're wearing robes, no bras, titties hanging out, sagging dragons going from here to there. Everywhere. That's right. Right. All right, Kylie. Okay.

A woman posted apologies to anyone who might have just witnessed a lady running down the alley in her underwear yelling baloney. My dog escaped and I panicked. Okay, listen, I have a experience of this with pumps. So when she didn't live in the suburbs, when she lived a few streets away from me, I would go to her house a lot more frequently, and this is when before scout ran away from home.

And she had the wolf in scout, and they would get out, and she would be, I mean, sometimes just like in, like real short shorts and a tank top with a boob that kind of just flopped out the side of it, kind of like a long arm tank, you know what I'm talking about? Or a rope. Or a rope, but a long arm tank with a boob that kind of just flopped out the side of it, kind of like a long arm tank, you know what I'm talking about? Or a rope. Or a rope, but a long arm tank with a boob that if you're running, I remember one time

was in your front yard, and you've got a piece of chicken. And you've got on this like, muscle tank that has a real long arm slot. And these little short shorts, and you run out, and you're like, scout, blaze, Scout, Blaze, come get chicken, come get chicken, ever. Come get chicken. And this, the boob, the tank had kind of moved over and I'm standing in the driveway and

I've got this, you know, laser pointer directed straight at me, chicken, waving in the air. And I thought, you know, what's so refreshing about you? You just don't give a fuck. There's no way that you would ever go into a neighborhood app and apologize for shouting, come get chicken topless. It's major side, Boop. Yeah. And again, this was probably in the drop-off era of the day. I doubt that this would happen in the evening.

It was all that long because Blaze can open doors. And Scout encouraged that, I think. I do. I'm blaming everything on Scout because Blaze is perfect now. Okay. Did Blaze or did Blaze not go through a period of... Oh no, he's still dead. Incredible depression impressive. Incredible depression about blaze. Scout leaning. Yeah. Bullshit. No, we did not lie. You told me that blaze was absolutely depressed. Maybe I'm so sad. If I told you, I believe I said it, but I don't know for the time. That he was sad. Yes, blaze has been so depressed. He mobs around the house.

No, he hears what you've done to his trauma. You just picked up the rug and swept that trauma right under it and then just rolled it back down and pretended like that. Yeah, I can't let that happen. I'll tell you what, that never sounds good at family week later in therapy. Parents that do this to their children, I'm telling you, it doesn't age well. I'll be with Tiffany and her martial art cat will be at the animal family wig. All right. All right. I've got one here contractor. Linda posts this contractor. My ex-husband is a great contractor. David, she mentions his name. Joshua responds looks like he got out of the contract he had with you. Linda responds. not funny. Linda's wrong, that's hilarious.

Well, I think we've learned a lot today on this, but the biggest takeaway, listener, the biggest takeaway is the times of day that you can get away with wearing pajamas publicly, flash and titties publicly. And then when you have to be more buttoned up. So to any mothers or fathers out there, when you're dropping your kid off at school, go ahead and just wear your pajamas. Right. Because you're in the drop-off mode of the day. Right. When you shift to the pickup portion of the day, that's when you need to have a little bit of makeup, maybe a fun design in your outfit. Perjury.

Perjury. Perjury. That's your key. From the next door app, a little bit of fun design, maybe a bright color. They're on a touch of makeup. And then it's also completely acceptable. any time of the day. If you are trying to get your pet back inside and you don't have any clothes on, by all means just go

ahead and run out but naked, which I totally support because you've got to get the animals secure. I love that. Sorry. Screaming baloney. That was your life. Yeah, I was doing chicken now. Screaming chicken, get chicken. Do you still do that to boys? No, I just let them get himself back in. Because he can get himself in and out. So if he gets out, I'm just like,

I'll come back and he comes back about five minutes. Peruze is around, you know, this is anything. Let's himself back in. Okay. All right, so my dogs went outside. I would probably be one of these people on, you know, this is anything. Let's himself back in. Okay. Yeah. All right. So my dogs went outside. I would probably be one of these people

that called the police. Running down in your underwear, screaming blown. Totally. My dogs are such titty babies though. They would never run away. Yeah. No, he stays right in like our yard, just right there. Well, listener, this has been a very fun episode.

We love super fun. Next door app is gold. It's gold. I love hearing how crazy these people are and just what they, they, they, they actually sit down. And I would say probably the majority of the time stone cold sober. Yeah, they're not doing this fucked up and post this on the worldwide web. Right.

They're cheese offenses, new criminal. They're calling the police stone cold sober. Over cheese violations. Yeah, and all that other shit we did in the last episode, it was like I'm calling the police about their Wi-Fi name, you know, everybody's calling the police. You know, you know what would be interesting to have on this podcast is like a 911 operator. Ooh, that's a great idea. About world's stupidest 911 calls.

Yes. And then like maybe the non-emergency police line or just the police department receptionist. Right. That's a great idea. Because don't you know it is just all day a jet stream of nothing burgers. Right. Can arrest someone for cheese on my vehicle? It's a huge violation.

Well listener, please go to our bios and our socials and click the tour. And you can see if we are coming to a city near you. Go to Apple and leave us five stars. Might want to mention in the five stars, what, how great it was to have an attorney on the podcast today. Yes, dispensing free legal advice. To these, I mean, I'm sorry,

but there is some flower rape going on by these bees. Absolutely. She needs to be compensated. So many violations. They're hustling those flowers. Yeah. And profiting off of her flowers. What, what's her remedy?

It's a great question. I can't wait for you to take this case to like, I guess a prank court. I bet Judge Watner said, but Judge Judy, she's still doing it, isn't she? She's still, yeah. I wanna be Judge Judy. That would be the best job on the podcast.

Oh, you would crush being Judge Judy. I would crush it. You would be so good at being Judge Judy. I would, I would be so good at it. Judge Pops. Da da da da da da da da. All right, listen, we'll see you next Tuesday or Thursday. be so good at being judge to the I would be so good at it judge pops the data done. All right, listen, I will see you next Tuesday or Thursday. What about the fans? There is none of this Wednesday, August night.

I'm so honored to be here. Maybe you'll be rocks. America's biggest super fans meet their superstar idols. Yeah! And compete for a once in a lifetime prize. That is correct! I'm going to take them through my new records all by soul. You can pick a song and we can sing it together on stage. And the title of Ultimate Superfan.

It is up to you, America! Superfan. Superfan premieres Wednesday, August 9th on CBS, and streaming on Paramount Plus. Superfan! Superfan, premieres Wednesday, August 9th on CBS, and streaming on Paramount Plus. Superfan!