I've Had It - Neighborhood Menty B's

Episode Date: January 4, 2024

Back by popular demand, Jennifer and Pumps are indulging in the f***ery that is the Nextdoor App. From an escaped mouse named Karen wearing a little pink dress to a man with a mullet riding a four-wheeler, Nextdoor has it all. Jennifer has had it with stupid social media terms like "brekky" and "rezzies" and Pumps admits she's 'got no fight left in her' (which is not surprising since she is so much older than Jennifer.) Come see I've Had It live on the Hot Sh*t Tour! More info & tickets available at https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast and subscribe to I've Had It wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp: Celebrate the progress you’ve already made. Visit BetterHelp.com/HADIT today to get 10% off your first month. Microdose: To learn more about microdosing THC go to Microdose.com and use code HADIT to get free shipping & 30% off your first order. eharmony: Join eharmony to find someone you can be yourself with. eharmony. Get who gets you. Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

So we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready, one, two, three. It is the star of all podcasting at her advanced age, banging out clap after clap after clap, pumps, what have you had it with? What I've had it with is when you get a package and you fill out when you buy it, leave it at my house.

You pre-sign, leave it at my house, leave it at my house, leave it at my house. And then you get a note on your door that says, it's at the shipping facility. And it's like, that can't fucking be right because I went through extreme lengths not to have this at the shipping facility. And you have to go and it's a bit clesterfuck, circle jerk of people waiting

in line that can't find their tags. And I've just decided there's nothing that could be delivered to me that I would want to sign forever. And I don't know why we just can't put that in a blanket statement like always leave it at my house. Don't ever make me go pick it up. Well, I think it's in response to these porch pirates. I know, but still things. I'll assume the risk. If somebody steals it, that's on me. Let me ask you this. Do you think it's possible that maybe you didn't fill out the form correctly? No, I don't think that's possible because that's what I originally thought and I went back and looked

because I was like, I've ordered two things from these people and I wanna go in and make sure that they know to leave it at the house and it was not me, which normally it would be me. Right. But this particular instance, it was not me. Yeah, you know, I don't like that either. I hate it.

Cause then I have a, I have an item pending right now. Did you have to pick up? Yes. It's the worst. It's the worst because then it just defeats the whole order by mail thing. That's what I was going to say. It's just like the whole reason I ordered it online is so I don't have to go fight for it somewhere.

Right. And now I'm having to go fight for it somewhere after I told you not to just require my signature. You're tired of fighting. I'm tired of fighting over these packages. Just leave them. She's losing her fight, listener. Losing my fight.

Tom says losing her fight. Losing the fight. So what are you doing with the post-it note stickers at the pickup place? Are you picking the stuff up or you just letting it die there? Now I'll pick it up. I've picked it up. I Mean you went and fought it. I went and fought it. I didn't want to and but I would I go like if it opens at 7 a.m I am in line at 6.59. I'm like I'm first one there So I can be first through punctual. I'm hyper I'm hyper punctual when it's something like that,

because I don't want to wait in line. Interesting. Let me tell you what I've had it with. What have you had it with? And this is petty, but that's what this show is. Let's get to say what else is new. I've had it with people calling breakfast brecky. I have heard that recently.

Stop. Quit putting on your Instagram. Brecky and bad. Going to brecky with my boo. Bay and I going to brecky. Put a sock in it. Quit making shit up. It's breakfast.

It's always been breakfast. Quit calling it brecky. I've had it. Yeah. Second one is quit calling reservations. Resies. Oh, I hadn't heard that. That's all full.

I had it. Had it. Got a rezi for me and boo. Got a rezi for me and bay. Making Valentine resis shut up. I don't want to hear it. I've had it. Quit making up cute words for your performative Instagram post.

Put a sock in it. I've had it. No, I totally agree with you. That's a great had it. I don't think it's petty at all. Do you want me to make a Rezi for breake? Absolutely not. Maybe we should make a Rezi for breake for Valentine's day. I'm fucking had it. Had it. I stopped. I've stopped with it. We it. Stop. Stop. Stop with all the bullshit. With it. We're already battling so much. We've already established pumps is tired of fighting. We're already fighting the journeys. We're already finding the manifesting. We're fighting gender reveal parties. Stop

for the love of God, calling breakfast, brecky. You know what it is? Calling breakfast brecky is like the McKinley, you know, crazy spelling for a little kid. It's just don't do that. Don't cut it up. It's the first meal of the day. It's fucking breakfast. Quit trying to make it cute.

I think everybody tries to cute everything up. I really do. I think it's an epidemic of trying to cute stuff up. And that's just, I wanna opt out. I wanna opt out, put me in the not cute pile. Just put me there, leave me there. I wanna opt out of all this breakey and resies. I've had it.

I had to ask what two words were recently. Riz? I was like, somebody said, he has. Riz. I was like, somebody said, he has no Riz. And I was like, what's Riz? Charisma. Then soon after that, I saw an article that said, if you have to ask what Riz is,

you clearly don't have any. And then Cap. Like I was texting with someone. And I was like, Cap was referred to twice. And I finally texted back and I was like, what does Cap mean? I'm lost. So, some of that is like,

like in rap music, you know? I'm slinging, I don't have issue with Riz or Cap. What I have issue with are the white girls making their resies for Breckee and like using like the cursive font

on their Instagram stories or even maybe like saying, I'm just got a Rezzy for Brecky with my boo and it's like that I just it's fingernails down the chalkboard. I've had it. Jen, I've got another one for you. They're saying Minty B for mental breakdown. No post. Unless it just had a Minty B. That's a cute up that just, you don't need to cute that up. You can't cute that up.

Minty B. Minty. How are they spelling that? Minty. Me and Ty. Minty B. That's just, you know what? These are the same people that are making resis for breakees. And you know sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. a mental breakdown. And you're not thinking about rebranding it or relay boeing it. Yes, it's a mental breakdown. I've fucking had it. These people need to pull themselves together and go fight at the FedEx station like a normal person. That's right. Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She's the star of our show. She's a great legal mind. She's the oldest woman in podcast and Kylie, how are you?

I'm good. Much younger than pumps. Me too. Me too. Seth, are you here today? Yes, and I'm a fresh 27 years old. He's the youngest. Oh, here.

But what we're looking for here is, are you younger than pumps? Oh, absolutely. Right. Kylie, what do you have for us from the World Wide Web? I actually have a submission on our website from a listener named Anna. An email?

Yes, they sent an email. I like this. They wrote, here to beat a dead horse. Love it. I've had it with other moms. Just saw a post in a mom group of a woman asking, in which position they should try for baby number three,

because they have two girls, and hubby really wants a boy, and they don't want to have gender disappointment again. One, do you think their daughters know their disappointment to their parents? If not, at what age will they tell them that? Two, should I tell this more on the stick to anal? Because I don't think they should continue to reproduce. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Once it is buried, I will probably want to exhume the carcass, beat it again, then cremate it, and possibly beat it one more time for good measure. Because these people never stop. I could beat this shit all day long. What's her name? Anna. Anna, I can drag out that fat

can dead horse, cremate it. I don't give a fuck. I'll beat the ashes. Let's just tee this up. Here we are again. Yep. With the gender disappointment. I can't even handle it. This is the problem with these people. When you have a child, that child is your child temporarily. Then it becomes an adult. And almost from the time it's born, for sure around three to four months, they have their own will and their own desires, and they are their own person. And all you did is Olivia, one of our previous collars would say, is Roddoff. You're going to get the genitals are going to come out one of two ways. And then after that, they could decide they maybe don't like that gender, or they don't feel themselves in that gender. But to make the gender of your child all about you, I've had it.

I've had it too. And again, we're going back to she's publicizing it. She's telling everyone in her group me. You could quite tell in everybody your fuck schedule. I mean, seriously. Quite talking about your... Nobody cares. Your fuck around schedule. I mean, seriously. Quit talking about yours. Nobody cares. Your fuck around schedule.

No, nobody cares. Yeah, nobody, like we're trying somebody, in a previous episode, that was somebody's hat. Yeah, they've had it. And it's true. Tell us after. And then we as people need to quit asking people, are you going to have kids? Yes.

I agree. We have to stop. And I'm guilty of it. So I'm really gonna make a... We have to stop asking people if they're gonna have kids and quit perpetuating this narrative that this is the destiny as a member of our species, wedding, breeding, divorce. Right. You know what? You know what?

Instead of asking people the second question, are you gonna get married? And then that's the first one. And then the second one, are you gonna have kids? We can just start jumping to the third one. Are y'all getting divorced? So when do you think you're gonna get a divorce? You close thinking about it.

Oh my gosh, that's the best thing I've ever heard. Let's stop doing that. Stop asking people when they're having kids and just jump to someone one of you guys get divorced You think you'll bang out another two to three years. Maybe the seven-year-age. You think that'll do it So you're gonna have kids before after you get a divorce. Yeah This episode is sponsored by Better Help Pumps I think for so many of us, after spending so much time with our

relatives over the holidays, we may need a little tune up with our mental health. And I am so grateful to have discovered better help. Better help is wonderful because it's so convenient. I can do it on my schedule. And the therapists are wonderful and you can change it anytime free of charge. That's the kicker. How convenient it is and how fantastic their therapists are. Listener, if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge.

Celebrate the progress you've already made. Visit betterhelp.com slash had it today to get 10% off your first math. That's betterhelp. H-E-L-P.com slash had it. This podcast is brought to you by E. Harmony. Tom, don't you think finding someone who gets you and everything about you is really hard? I think it's so hard.

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If you start microdosing, this will help put that hamster to sleep. Listener, to learn more about microdosing THC, go to microdose.com and use code hadit to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Again, that's microdose.com code had it. Microdose.com code had it for 30% off. All right, listener, today, back by popular demand. It's time to read the feckery that is going on on the neighborhood apps. My favorite things. I'm going to start us off.

We're going to do dramatic readings of what the general public is posting as what's going on in their neighborhoods. This is basically a public service. Absolutely. Okay. Harry posts the subject is suspected, disturbing of the peace. I was out for my evening walk because of my constipation condition. I just don't say that because my doctor said it would help me pass stuff through better.

And I saw this mullet man driving a four by four. I thought it was pretty cool. So I waved at him and gave him a thumbs up. But to my surprise, he yelled, I eat ass. So that was alarming. And then some kid in the back of the track rolled his window down and showed me his butthole. in the back of the track, rolled his window down and showed me his butthole. I think this type of behavior is completely lured

and unacceptable for our neighborhood. Has anyone else seen these hoodlums around? I've reported this information to the police. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Here's what I want to know, Harry. Did you report about your constipation? I should do it, please. Oh, she cleared all that. But, Harry, did you, did you, did you start off your police report with listen? I'm really constipated. Right. So I go out every evening for my evening constitution.

Is that how you started it off? Right. In your report. But then, you see a person in a four by four with a mallet. I immediately know that you're probably gonna get flipped off. I will for sure something is gonna happen. I mean, you know the combination of the two. Right, you know there's some redneck shit going on. 100%.

Anyway, he's reported it to the police, so the mallet redneck and the 4x4 watch out. This one is titled, A Mother in Need. A mother of two, age 41, children ages 9 and 12 has a severe case of baby fever and is in search of a local baby to hold, snuggle, and to provide overall general comfort and happiness. Mother of two agrees to change diapers and soothe of crying, watch over baby siblings

if needed. Mother of two can guarantee she is not completely crazy, and will allow mother of baby to nap on her couch, drink a cup of coffee while quietly reading a magazine, or watch a favorite show while enjoying a glass of wine. Wine and coffee will be provided. Husband of mother of two agrees to offer a monetary compensation to mother of baby. If this time spent holding said baby, stop mother of two from wanting and asking for another baby of her own. These people are fucking psychos. Psychotic. First of all, who's going to let somebody that puts that on the internet?

Hold their baby. Yeah, like, you know what? Sounds good. Hey, that sounds great. I just had a baby. If I can cry all the time, love for you and your husband to come over and hang out with it. Right. Fucking psychos. Serve me drinks that you can roofy. No, thank you. Here's the deal. Here's what I get with a lot of these people.

You have this idea, like she wants to have another baby. Her husband's probably like, no, we can't afford it. And you're kind of fucking crazy and I don't want to triple down. I haven't meant to be any time. Yeah, so he's like, no, she's like, well, if I could just hold a baby. He's like, okay, maybe that's a great idea.

Maybe we can find a baby if you don't know any babies. They together collectively wrote that out and came up with the terms of it and posted it on the World Wide Web. Nobody talked to the other one out of it. Which we have experience with. Somebody's got to make better decisions. Somebody has got to be the voice of reason

Yeah, why don't we type it up and then not click publish? Why don't we just talk about it? Why don't we do that? Why don't we talk about it? You know, it's like you and I love to have a fantasy ass. Yes, we're we're chewing somebody out in our mind But then we don't call the person and do it. That's what these people need to do. They're publishing it to strangers. Yeah. Here's one. Mouse and a hot pink sweater.

This is a serious post, no matter how ridiculous it is, about to send. Believe me, I am shaking my head right now. If anyone happens to see a common filled mouse run by in a hot pink sweater, please disregard. My daughter thought it was smart to save a mouse from our cats today and proceeded to name it Princess Karen and put it in a hot pink sweater. It then jumped after it was put in said sweater and escaped. No, we don't want it back. No, it's not a pet. I was just giving everyone in the neighborhood a heads up

if they happen to come across a mouse and a hot pink sweater. Okay. Why wouldn't you just act like you didn't know anything about it? She's not the only one. Everybody knows. She's just got to, you know what this person does? I bet this person sends out the Christmas newsletter. 100%.

That's a newsletter. But she, there's a picture attached to that newsletter. A princess Karen, the mouse and the hot, the hot sweater. If I had a daughter and she named a mouse Karen, we would immediately have to go see a child shrink. Okay, I can get past the slippery slope. The random, the cat, they saved a mouse, which means it might have diseases or...

Why is, I'm just so repulsed by that whole thing. It was in their house. I'm not a little girl like the animal. I mean, she made it a little sweater. That's the least egregious part. No, I think the least egregious part is letting your kid play with the mouse that you somebody put a pet store. Some people have pet mouths.

I know, but they came to pet stores. This is like a rando they brought in with the cat out. It's got some f*****, you're acting like a crazy person. Ooh, I just think that that's cool yourself together. No, I just think that's cool yourself together, Pops. It's not like some rat. All right, go on. Okay, this one is titled,

Large Police Presence. And it's important to note that presence is spelled P-R-E-S-E-N-T-S. You start spelling out that gift. Like the gift, okay. Anybody know what's going on on Cedar near Highway 61? Evidently, there is a large police presence spelled the same way, with unmarked and marked police cars.

Someone responds, maybe it's someone's birthday. And then they respond, doubt it. One car was blocking our driveway. My wife had to leave and when he rolled the window down, I saw his badge. The same person responded again and said, maybe a surprise party then. Shanking that poor man's tape completely lost on the poster. You know, that's the thing with people that aren't clever, clever people can just sit and troll them for hours. For hours.

And they don't know. They're completely unaware. It's like those guys that go to the tramp rallies and just start questioning within like two questions deep. They've got them in a headlock and they don't. They don't know. I mean, they never know. They never know.

Next up, the title is Suspicious Person Walking Street. Oh, I've seen a suspicious person now numerous times in the neighborhood, age mid fifties and white, often seen walking a dog at all times of the day. He appears to live in the neighborhood and drives a luxury car, but never seems to go to work. Not sure how this person affords to do this, hence given the strange behavior. I've reported him to They thanked me for my report and promised to give him a gentle audit for the next three years. Stay vigilant, exclamation point, person, one, hair, brown, top vineyard vines, bottom, Bottom, khakis, shoes, Johnston Murphy, age 50, sex, male, race, white. This is a classic case I have needs more to do. This is a classic case of a white person.

Right, I mean, this person, I would strangle that bitch if she called the IRS on me. Why does she give a fuck? What he does? This is insanity. Insanity, he's a lawyer. He's a vicious dog. All the time, drives a luxury car. Maybe he's fucking retired.

Crazy person. Crazy bitch. Independently wealthy. Maybe he works from home. I mean, mind your own fucking bitch. Maybe he has a trust fund that could choke a bull, you know? Maybe he has a sugar mama. Yeah. I mean, leave him alone for fact, sayke.

Okay, this one posted, has anybody else had someone put a spilled can of beans in their mailbox? What does this mean? Is this gang related? It's a gang sign. Okay, here we go. Early Amber Alerts is the subject. Did everyone else receive an Amber Alert this morning before Sun Up at 6m. about a concern out of Irving, Texas, does anyone know who can be contacted to respectfully ask about the possibility that in the future, such sleep arousing alerts be sent out at a later hour? That is the height of entitlement right there.

I'm not worried about your kid being snatched because it might interfere with my beauty's sleep. I mean, what a bitch. She posted it on the internet. Like this is a thought, you know, like you're tired. Like God, Amber alert, you know, and we all get them. I'll get them? Yeah, but, you know, they could absolutely make a difference. They could save someone's life.

Absolutely. In this faking person, it's okay to have a mom, we're like kind of just like in my phone going off. It's for alert woke me up. But she posted it on the internet. She took the time and the effort to type it out on her computer, posted it. All right, Jenny posted.

Anyone skilled in Photoshop? I'm looking to give my daughter-in-law a special surprise for her wedding anniversary by slimming her down in her wedding photos. Any recommendations? And that is why daughter-in-law's Hapier Mother-in-Laws right there. That is exactly. Case in point.

Okay, here's one from the next door app. Please don't defecate along our trails. And I am talking about humans to the female jogger. Unfortunately, I doubt she will ever read this though that defecated two piles next to my fence gate door to the trail along Belmont Ridge Road behind my house at 5.40 a.m. this morning, I cleaned your mess up and I suggest you see a doctor. You are sick in multiple ways. It took two thick COVID masks sprayed with cologne and goggles to endure the stink and keep the flies from flying into my face while trying to clean up with a long shovel. And the fact you brought toilet paper with you,

suggests you have another issue and that you plant on defecating somewhere along the way and just leave it there. Lucky me to be at my breakfast table looking out towards my backyard and the beautiful section along that path we are all proud of, especially the knockout roses. Nice crisp air coming in about to start the day with a small meal, then what the witnessing this as it occurred, what a nice start to the day. That was sarcasm and the breakfast was skipped, understandably, at that point. When I came out the back door and yelled really loudly, really, which interrupted your proud moment, you scurried pretty fast like a scared cat but left some unused toilet paper along the trail

during your hasty getaway. I guess that's why you ran back a few feet to pick up some of the toilet paper to use somewhere else. Maybe even ruin somebody else's morning at their breakfast table too and leaving your disgusting trash on the ground there as well. The only thing that even slightly satisfying about this episode is knowing that you had to run at least several yards with a dirty butt, which will likely ruin your morning jog. And here I thought we only had a problem with people leaving their dogs poop along the trail.

By the way, I got a decent look at your face, despite the sun visor you were wearing. Just try passing by next time. No squatting. And if I see you, I will just say hi. And if I see you, I will just say hi. Okay, I have to say, I'm kind of with the author. I mean, bitch is pooping on a trail? Okay, but here's the deal. You sometimes have explosive diarrhea. Put yourself in the jogger shoes.

You have had some times. No, I have, but it's premeditated. She brought the toilet paper with her. And if she brought the toilet paper, why don't she bring a sack? A poop bag? A poop bag. Like you had the decency to carry your shit around for 20 miles in a star cup. I did. I did. Let me think about this. Wasn't there a time that we were at the park with our kids and one of our kids just kind of like shit behind a tree. I'm sure that happened. I mean, I have no specific recall of that, but I know other places that my kids like just dropped it.

So let me tell you a story about Josh. So after his first rehab stand, he decided he was going to jog and he decides he's going to be like, it's like forest fucking gump. I mean, he ran and ran and ran. He coaled like two on two big jogs a day. So I'm sitting in the front, like a study of my old house with the baby and the baby's one of those bouncing things. And Josh had been forest camping, right? So all of a sudden, the door opens

and he runs through the house as fast as he can. He doesn't even close the door. And it's a huge ruckus, right? And so I'm like, what's going on? But he ran by so fast the scent was somewhat delayed. So about two to three seconds later, I get this waft of shit. And I'm like, what's going on?

He is standing in the shower with his jogging clothes on, beginning and it's running, beginning to take off his shoes, and he was screaming, go get a trash bag, go get a trash bag. So he was running. And he took a shit in that nice green part in my bucket. Said he tried to wipe his ass with a leaf. Then he just had to pull his face up. Oh my gosh.

You know someone saw him. He's filled up his shoes. It's down his line. Oh my gosh. But back to this one, I do think it's premeditated. I wonder, I wonder if there's more to the story. If she's got like a kink that she likes to poop in public. Well, I mean, according to this author here, she says, you are sick in multiple ways. No doubt about that. I think she's talking about gastrointestinely and mentally. I think she's the saying that she had a minty

bee. She had a minty bee in ruin to her breakey. She ruined her breakey. She's not happy when she skipped. Obviously. This she ruined her breakey. She ruined her breakey. Here's the deal. At the end of the thing she says she would say hi to the lady. She would just say hi. I'd be like, you took a shit outside my gate and I had to pick it up. It was fucking gross. There's no question.

I think she kind of starts. You can tell on the post she kind of gets it off her chest. Yeah, and then she's like, okay. And then she's kind of calmed down towards the tail end. She's a nicer person than me. Not calmed down enough to not hit publish, though. Right. That's right. Not that she took it over the finish line, which I'm kind of calmed down towards the tail end. She's a nicer person than me. Not calmed down enough to not hit publish though. That's right. Not bad.

She took it over the finish line, which I'm kind of glad she did. I kind of it is great. It's good for us. Yeah. Okay, this one is titled Disrespecting Vegan Radius. Last night, around 1830 PM, we spotted our neighbors in their yard barbecuing

what looked like raw flesh. We are vegan. We have had in depth discussions with our neighbors in their yard barbecuing what looked like raw flesh. We are vegan. We have had in-depth discussions with our neighbors about our veganism and the importance of a vegan community and the importance of living in a meat-free radius. Not only was it disturbing to watch, but the scent wafted into our house minutes after. To each their own, but feeling unsure about what to do next. How would you respond to this? Would love to spark a discussion. I'll tell you how I'd respond to that.

I know exactly how I respond. I want to live in a nut-free radius. I want to live in a narcissistic, free radius. I want to live in a radius-free of breathtaking entitlement. That's what I want to live in. radius free of breathtaking entitlement. That's what I want to live in. So you can take your fucking vegan tofu and cram it up your goddamn ass because I'm going to grow my steak. If you want to be a vegan, fine. Swing for the fences. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. The fact that not only are is she vegan, she's discussed her veganism

with her neighbors, which you know, they're like board defecting tears every day. Let me ask you guys this. Is this how y'all feel about me with pickleball? 100%. Exactly. Pumps wants to live in a pickleball free radius. Free radius for me. Oh, sorry, I'm just sitting there doing an inventory, like a self inventory. Like, do I have this in me? And I was like, oh, yeah, sure do. Sure.

Fuck a day says you sure do. All right. Here we go. Somebody posed fireworks or gunshots. Was that fireworks or gunshots that just went off? Another neighbor responds, I was shooting my gun at the fireworks. Okay. Here's one that somebody passed in their neighborhood app.

In Willow Bend on Lauderdale Drive, there is a Siamese looking cat that is roaming day and night and climbing up my screen cage and Walking Up. It's so good. I got to try to get it out seriously. I couldn't even know what so funny about it yet. Listen, just wait for it. Okay. Assignee's looking cat that is roaming day and night and climbing up my screen cage and walking on my labia.

What? That cannot be right. Please keep your cats under control. Are we will have? Please keep your cats under control. Or we will need to have animal control come for it. So, I think probably what she meant to post and I can lean into my interior design degree for this is La Nye, which in Hawaii means patio and or porch. My thinking is that she inadvertently wrote the labia and I'm so grateful. So glad she did because this god damn Symey's cat is Roman day and night and climbing her screen cage and walking on her labia for fuck's sake. Pussy on pussy. Oh my gosh, like I would take that down immediately. You know what? I think these are the kind of people they this is a needle and a haste. Shit, they post all day. They've got they're running their Facebook. They're running their Facebook. They're running their Facebook. They this is a needle and a haste.

Shit, they post all day. They've got they're running their Facebook. They're running their next or app. They got their Instagram going. They got Twitter going. They got threads going. They're probably still on fucking Napster for God's sake. Right. My space, you know, they're doing all sorts of shit. Okay, this one is titled Cat Smells of Sigarettes. Tonight my cat Simon came home reeking of cigarettes. I know he likes to wander the neighborhood visiting people,

but my son and I are very sensitive to the smell of smoke. So I would greatly appreciate it if you're a smoker and to not let him in your house. Thanks in advance. Someone then does a post, a follow-up post. And it's titled, is this your cat? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Late last night, I heard a strange sound coming from our kitchen area and thought someone could have snuck into my house.

I was shocked when I saw a black cat in our house smoke in a cigarette. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Please keep your cat off our property. I'm very sensitive to smoke. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. They then, there's a picture of a black cat with a cigarette in its mouth. your cat offer property, I'm very sensitive to smoke. There's a picture of a black cat with a cigarette in its mouth. That is fabulous. That is a fabulous response.

If I had more time, I think it'd be a great hobby just to get on the next door app and just fuck control people. It really would. That would be a blast. That would be a blast. Maybe we should create like a burner account. A burner account. And we could just fuck with people. I think it would be so fun. Like somebody's like, you know, making these crazy claims, you know, like I'm calling the police.

I can help you right now. I'm with the police. Right. Customer service right here. You know, one of our other next door episodes, somebody said, why people call the police like it's customer service? Which is so true based on the evidence presented.

Okay. This post was posted at the log cabin of states and neighborhood. And this woman posted, I was out walking my dog early this morning, admiring the beautiful sky and appreciating this great country. Then I realized how poorly Obama and Biden screwed our country. That's your old post. That's your whole post. You know, that somehow Obama and Biden can detract from nature. Right. Yeah.

Well, and it was so good for that four years. Oh, I mean, it was so perfect. I mean, it's four four years. Four years. Yeah. Yeah, because Trump was such a great ambassador to the earth. He's an ambassador to everything that touches. I mean, he is a cracker Jack.

How do you tell us you voted for Trump twice without telling us you voted for Trump twice? How do you tell us you're low IQ? That's true. All right, my last one is titled Urgent Alert. There's a black Jeep Cherokee that just drove down our dead end street, turned around and drove back out. And that's the whole post.

Kristen then responds. And it'd be so fun to fuck with that person right there. And then you could post really what did the person look right? And just never really land the plane just ask her a ton of questions. What year do you think it was? What do you think the tire style was? I mean, just get this person really going. Have you checked your flower? And then throw in once the last time you masturbated. Was the driver masturbating when he drove by? I saw that driver. He asked me if I wanted to have sex. Did he ask you? People are just, I don't know if it's too much time on their hands. A combination of kids.

No, I mean, but there are a lot of things. There's the thing with these apps Facebook this time. Sometimes they can be helpful. Here's the thing with these apps Facebook this time. Sometimes they can be helpful, right? But what happens is the like, the craziness that our species has prior to the World Wide Web wasn't on parade. Right. Now it's just on parade.

It's not that people have gotten crazier. This shit, remember the old show be witched in the neighbor Gladys Kravitz? That's where the whole thing came from. This isn't new, it's just accessible. And the information delivery of it is instantaneous. And it's fantastic. It's fantastic.

Yeah. Let me ask you this. Let me ask you a follow-up question here. Okay. You decide you want to go on a walk. You're going to power walk, right? Right. Power walk in a neighborhood. You're going to power walk, right? Right. Power walking in a neighborhood.

And I mean, it hits. There's nothing you can do here, but you have to bend over and do it right where you are. And you're probably about 10, 15 yards from somebody's gate. You don't have a bag. You don't have toilet paper. You do this big, giant blowout. And then you, you know, you have to tuck and roll

back home. Do you try to go back and bag your shit? Absolutely. I would absolutely go back. You'd go bag your shit for sure. That, I mean, that's just inhumane to do to somebody else, I think. That's bad. Yeah. What about you, Kylie? Would you go back? I think my shame would keep me away. No, I can't be seen twice. I can't be seen twice. No. I would just take my poop scaper over there

and just walk a shame it. You would. I mean, that's the least of the bad things that I've done in my life. That would be the best. That would be the worst thing I've ever done. It would be the layup. That would be the layup.

Yeah. Of the apology tours I've been on. Seth, you got something I keep pairing you buzzin' on. I found this guy who's doing a public service that I thought you would really enjoy. So Paul post Jehovah Witness Alert for the Reed Park area around 13th and North Maid. So yeah, I appreciate that.

That's a warning. That is good. That's a warning. That is, that's really helpful. Yeah, that's really, really helpful. Jehovah's a warning. That is. That's really helpful. Yeah. That's really, really helpful. Jump is with us. Alright. Listen. Our here's the deal. We started. Perhaps I always kind of wanted to be journalist. And so we thought everybody else is fucking saying shit that they aren't. Nobody else gets to be crazy. So we're fucking crazy now. So whenever we feel like on life, whenever we feel like it.

I don't know why I'm so mad today. Whenever we feel like it, we are going to post. Oh my gosh. Here's the deal. I have to make pubs close to show. Tell them all the stuff. You do it. We have a new YouTube. I did that right, didn't I, Kylie?

A new YouTube feature. I hip-news with different, like, reoccurring. What is wrong with you? What does that make it go so bad? Anyway, YouTube channel IHIPNews, documentary club, every Wednesday and other, exclusive features on Patreon. Oh my God, she's a distraction right now.

Finish your voice memos of what you've had it with to our, I've had it pod cam Instagram and we will see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both. Oh my god, what's wrong with me? I'm crying. I'm crying. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it.

I'm out of it with that. I'll tell you what I've had up with. Let's hear it. Come on in with that.