I've Had It - Nobody Likes You
Episode Date: January 11, 2024Jennifer and Pumps sit down today to listen to all of your grievances and you listeners have had it with ALOT of s#%t ranging from, parents schlepping their kids around wreaking havoc on the public to... the insurrection ruining your day of birth. Pumps has had it with couples who do a little 'rub rub pat rub pat pat rub' in public and Jennifer has had it with the a#$holes that always steal the coveted superior bite of food.Come see I've Had It live on the Hot Sh*t Tour! More info & tickets available at https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast and subscribe to I've Had It wherever you get your podcasts.Thank you to our sponsors:This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp: Celebrate the progress you’ve already made. Visit BetterHelp.com/HADIT today to get 10% off your first month.Lume: As a special offer for listeners, new customers GET $5 OFF a Lume Starter Pack with code HadIt at LumeDeodorant.com. That equates to over 40% off your Starter Pack.Happy Mammoth:  Go to https://bit.ly/hm-uwlp2 and use code HADIT for 15% off your first order.Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us:I've Had It Podcast: @IvehaditpodcastJennifer Welch: @mizzwelchAngie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps
Transcript
Discussion (0)
So we're supposed to start the podcast.
Ready, one, two, three.
It is a great day.
The star of our show looks fantastic.
The blazer is...
Thank you.
I love it.
What have you had it with, Pops?
What I've had it with is people that have like couples
that have to pat each other's ass in public. It's so unnecessary. It's happened to me over the
weekend at a Starbucks where they were just doing the little ass rub. And then I was in the airport
and the girl was sitting on the stool and the guy was sitting next to her and he was just doing the ass
rub and I'm just like, you can't wait five minutes until you get home.
You can't even go in the family bathroom and knock it out.
I mean, why do we have to touch all the time?
I don't get it.
I think it's gross.
I think it's unnecessary PDA.
I don't like ass padding.
I've had it.
Ass padding in public.
Here's the deal.
I don't know that that bothers me too much.
It does me, especially when it's old people like my age.
I don't, it really doesn't bother me.
If somebody's patting an ass in public,
what really bothers me is when somebody sticks their hand
down their pants into their ass in public.
That, oh yeah, like getting their underwear out of their ass
or whatever.
Just any sort of you've seen guys,
I just missed. Now stick their hands down and start scratching their ass in public.
A public ass scratch.
I'm not into somebody's pat and somebody's bottom, whatever,
swing for the fences.
I don't care.
I just know I'm just not a pDA or that I just the ass padding.
I just feel like it's unnecessary.
What's going to happen?
I mean, why are you doing this? Let me ask you this. In the last 20 years, have you been in love with anybody
enough to rub an ass in public? No. Right. Not even close. Maybe I'm out of practice. So maybe,
maybe it's me. Yeah, maybe it's a reaction to other people's happiness.
No, I just think it's a reaction. Other people being gross and patting asses in public.
I'm gonna stop by that.
Over the close ass pat.
Yeah, but it's more like an ass pat rub.
Like it, I don't know.
I just think it's a necessary.
Kylie, do you and Anna rub and pat each other's ass in public?
We do a little ass patting.
Just gentle.
A gentle little ass pat?
Is it prolonged though, or is it just to keep moving pat?
No, I'm not like hurting her long.
But I know, but is it like a pat pat pat,
rub rub rub pat pat pat, or is it just like a swish kind of thing?
I think there's a difference.
Right.
No, here are your options.
Is it a pat pat rub pat pat pat rub or a shush, shush,
it's more of like a rab butt.
I think it's the first one.
I don't have a problem with it.
I don't like it.
I'd have had it with it.
Listen up.
Listen up.
Global listeners.
Forced listeners.
Pumps his had it with your ass rubbing.
The ass rubbing, especially in close quarters,
like at a Starbucks.
There's the deal.
You know, I just think some people are just in love
and they like to pat an ass,
but let me tell you what I've had it with.
Okay, what do you have it with?
I have to do a little background buildup.
Okay.
Okay.
So you know when you're eating a plate of food,
some bites are superior to other bites.
Yeah.
Meaning like if you have a salad,
some bites have a little bit of chicken,
a little bit of cheese,
maybe more salad dressing on it
and then maybe a little tomato.
And it's a superior bite to all the other bites on the plate.
And as a consumer, I eat my food
and I think, well, I'm gonna save that bite.
I'm gonna delay gratification.
I'm gonna save that bite for after I have about five
or six boring bites, right?
Well, every Christmas morning, I make cinnamon rolls, right?
Josh, no matter where I am in the house, if I'm eating a meal, he hovers over and monitors
the bites on my plate.
So weird.
And that superior bite that I'm talking about, oftentimes I turn to look at my dogs, to
look at my human children, maybe see what's going on in the television.
And that superior bite is gone.
Did you take the middle of the cinnamon roll?
That's exactly what he did.
That's a huge violation.
It was Christmas morning.
Everybody opened in their presence.
We then go to the Christmas Island after I prepared cinnamon rolls. And don't get excited
listener, they were the pop and bake kind, but nonetheless, that's what I call cooking. Right.
And I'm eating my cinnamon roll. And I turned to talk to the boys about their gifts. I'm talking to
my dogs. I turned back around in my plate. And I had started from the outside in. Sure. I was saving the superior bite for last because I can delay gratification.
I looked down at my plate and the center part of my role was gone.
And Josh is just chopping like a goddamn chipmunk, eating my cinnamon roll, the center
bite and I've had it.
I've had it with him stealing the best bite on my plate.
So did you get on him?
Well, who do you think you're talking to?
Well, yeah, I was going to say, I said there like a wallflower,
just let my man eat the best part of the cinnamon roll.
Because he deserves it.
I never said a word about it.
What'd you say?
I was like, did you just eat the center of my cinnamon roll?
And he was like, well, I thought you were finished.
Which is why nobody on the planet leaves the center part
of their cinnamon roll,
unless there's some sort of fucking sociopath.
Right, that's the best part.
Of course you save it for laughs.
Yes.
And he just ate it with reckless abandon, reckless disregard.
But you know what?
It's a pattern, Pumps.
There are oftentimes where we order food in we, you know, I've taken out.
We're sitting at our kitchen island.
And he's always looking over my plate or our son's plate.
And he's always superior bite shopping. He is shopping
for that superior bite because in every plate of food, there is a superior bite to all other bites.
Right. And Josh Welch is like a heat-seeking missile to those bites and he's constantly
stealing them from me and I've had it. Did he show any contrition at all?
No, I didn't think so.
Welcome to I've had it.
I'm defeated and I'm Jennifer.
I'm Angie.
We call her Pumps.
She's the star of the show.
My favorite person,
because she would never steal the center of my cinnamon roll.
I mean, we could go back and just say
this is probably one of the problems with being married.
I, you know, we'll add that to the list. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, been listening a while and waiting for the moment when my day of seething rage would come.
Well it was today.
Today I just about fucking had it.
I went tits up with blind rage when someone was sharing their favorite TV shows and another
person just went on and on about how busy they are and they don't have all that spare
time to watch TV shows.
You can read between the lines until this person is just so high on their fucking horse
that they've never even heard of the TV show.
They think they're such hot shit
and insinuate that a show could never move them deeply
or change their perspective
because watching TV is for simple folk.
Listen up, Kendra.
Six feet under was amazing and you don't know about it because you're kind of a twat.
I bet when it's your birthday at the office, people are real annoyed that they have to sign your card.
That's a great one. That's a great one. Being annoyed at a forced card sign,
that is a great, great event that we haven't spent any time on. That is a big one.
Furthermore, six feet under was a fan fabulous.
Tastic show.
And anybody who likes to flex about not watching TV, I worry about that person and their
mental well-being every bit as much as I worry about people who claim they don't like dogs.
Both of those things live in the same spaces. It's the false superiority that,
oh, I'm too busy for television.
Well, that right there,
because you started with I'm too busy,
tells me you're not too busy for television.
Right.
You just never watch six feet under.
Right, or maybe you have comprehension skills
and you can't comprehend television.
Or maybe you're just watching TikTok.
Maybe your door can nobody likes you.
Maybe your just patent people's ass
is all over the place.
Maybe everybody hates your guts
and hates signing your Christmas card. And nobody likes you. Maybe you're just patting people's asses all over the place. Maybe everybody hates your guts and hates
on your Christmas card.
And nobody likes you.
Nobody.
Nobody thought I've had it podcasted.
You like that?
That's right.
I love the tits up reference too.
That's fantastic.
That is a great email.
It's a great email.
I like these emails.
So I think it's now time for our favorite account
on the World Wide Web.
As you know, it is disappointing affirmations, which is fighting toe-to-toe with every
performative Instagram inspirational account that traffic and toxic positivity.
I was left out loud at these.
This account is literally going toe-to-toe with
these people and I think it's probably winning and as a surprise Kylie didn't we have a listener
make us a jingle. We did Rocky Petera on Instagram made us our own custom disappointing
affirmations intro song. All right let's hear it. Disappointing affirmation.
Do you want another one? Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Alright, here's the first one.
Stop living in the past.
Seriously, your present self is a fucking mess.
I need your help.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. That's so great. Sorry about the technical difficulties, but I had to throw my head back
and laugh.
It's so true.
It's so true. Why are you worrying about what you used to do? You're fucking up right
now. That's right. Okay. Here's the next one. It's okay if you weren't where you wanted to be by now.
Have you considered giving up?
I needed that years before in my marriage.
Just give up, just call it.
Be done.
It's okay that you're not where you want it to be,
but that's so true,
because maybe your idea of where you want things to be is so unrealistic. It's okay that you're not where you want it to be, but that's so true. Because maybe your idea of where you want things to be is so unrealistic.
So unrealistic.
The whole never give up crowd needs a little bit of this.
What they do, just give up.
Just sometimes redirect.
How about give up immediately?
You want just fucking stop.
Yes, immediately.
All right.
Here's one.
I hate it whenever I feel good.
I just know it's going Yeah. What's gonna happen?
Yeah.
It's coming.
Okay.
Here's the next one.
Be proud of how much you've accomplished.
No one ever expected much from you.
That's good stuff right there.
That is hot. That's good stuff right there.
That is high quality.
That is high quality like that is a missile launched at the toxic positivity part of Instagram.
For sure.
Yeah.
It's okay to have feelings, but do you need to have so many?
I need to put that on my forehead.
I don't wanna hear about all your feelings.
Too many feelings.
Yeah.
That many feelings is just a lot of work.
Yeah, it's a lot.
It's a lot.
I think people over feel.
I think people over feel
and I think people over talk about their feelings.
I think sometimes like there's
all of this great new therapeutic progress that we've made. But in that, in solving problems,
often you create new problems as well. And sometimes people take it too far.
Right, too far. It feels too much. There's really like feelings are really a tight rope. You've really got to find the right balance in us.
Not everybody wants to know all your feelings all the time.
People need to focus on mastering feelings.
Right, not too much.
It's the Goldilocks effect.
The Goldilocks.
Not too cold.
Not too cold.
Yeah.
Okay.
Stop romanticizing your past.
You were miserable back then too.
That is so true.
So true.
The revisionist history crowd is the worst.
It's unbelievable.
Yeah.
It is the worst.
Yeah, when people were like, oh my gosh, when my baby was little, it was so great.
I'm like, it's fucking miserable.
You didn't sleep.
You had shit all over you all the time.
Burp, yuck.
No, I'm with you.
Don't remain a size about the past or when that great.
All right, and that will conclude our reading this week of disappointing affirmations.
Do you suffer from having a parasocial relationship with two barely competent middle-aged women?
If so, please go to i've had it podcast.com or to any social media site I'm talking X, formally Twitter,
Instagram, TikTok, et cetera, and click the link in bio.
And come see us at the hot shit tour,
make your pair of social relationship real
at the hot shit tour.
Right pumps tell him, it's so fun.
We hope to see you there.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. We hope to see there.
This episode is sponsored by Better Help.
Pumps.
Now that the holidays are over, I think it is the perfect time for a lot of us that had to spend a little too much time with our families of origin and maybe that crazy
uncle to go to our therapist to do a little
fine tuning. That's why I am so grateful that I use better help. What I love about better
help is it's so flexible and convenient and I can do it in my pajamas. It's just wonderful.
That is the absolute best thing about better help is it is you can curate it to your schedule.
thing about better help is it is you can curate it to your schedule. Listener, if you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try.
It's entirely online designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule.
All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and
you can switch therapist any time for no additional charge.
Celebrate the progress you've already made.
Visit betterhelp.com slash had it today to get 10% off your first
month. That's better help.
H E L P dot com slash had it.
You know, Poms, I love my hormone harmony with happy mammoth.
It's been a game changer for me.
Well, they also have a product called the ultimate weight loss protocol, and they have just launched it in the 2.0 new and improved version.
This is a best selling weight loss system. It's the world's first protocol that combines supplements, nutrition, and mindset to help women lose more weight, faster without restrictive diets, calorie counting,
or exhausting workouts.
The previous version has helped over 13,000 women
and this year's version is even better,
faster, and more efficient.
You can get the ultimate weight loss protocol pro
that contains all of the five happy mammoth formulas
plus step-by-step videos,
easy and quick weight loss recipes,
healthy food swaps that taste amazing
and special bonus, the weight loss mindset course.
All you have to do is go to happy mammoth.com
and get 15% off by using the discount code,
had it, the link is below in the show notes.
Kylie, what do you have on tap for us today? We've been sent quite a few
voicememos.
Oh, okay, let's hear the voice memos. I love these. Okay, so we have asked
people and let them know that they can send in advice as well. And Aaron has
sent in and needs your guys's advice.
and Aaron has sent in and needs your guys' advice. Hi, Jean. Hi, Judy Diana, Pumps dolly. Hi, Kylie.
So my name is Aaron and I'm in a little bit of a pickle.
My sister is getting married in the spring and she wants to go to Miami,
Florida for her bachelor-wret party,
which I think is while disgusting and awful because the fact
thinks the state of Florida is cute.
And I made a vow never to go back there again.
Also she caught a little attitude with me over Christmas.
So I don't really know if I want to spend a whole bunch of fucking money to go to fucking
Florida.
Help me.
Do I go?
I mean, I think she's probably going to end up getting married again.
So I mean, I'll have another chance to go to a little bit of a backstreet party. But
Damn it.
Glory. If she's anything like our mama for sure
Aaron, I'll tell you what that is a pickle that is a pickle because Florida man. Okay, here's the thing. Here's the thing about Florida
Okay, here's the thing. Here's the thing about Florida.
They're governor, governor to Santas,
who whom we refer to as governor Kittenhills.
He is really screwing that state up.
He's doing his best.
However, Miami, I think is still pretty cool.
I do too.
I think Miami's cool.
And I think Miami's a cool place to go visit,
but I also want to say this about red states,
because we live in one.
Red states are represented by these crazy people
and they're loud and they're obnoxious.
But also in red states, you have super cool people
like pumps and they need to be visited too.
And so I mean, Kitten Hills drives me crazy.
Don't get me wrong.
I think he's a freak to end all freaks.
But I do think that Florida needs visitors
that are open-minded and liberal.
I do hate giving Kitten Hills the tax dollars,
but also one more thing regarding your sister.
Granted, she could get married three or four times, right?
And everybody's got to have a first husband, and the husband she's marrying right now will
be just as good as any.
But you can't ever go back to do the first husband bachelor at party again.
And even though your sister might be being a twat, I think you should go, Erin.
That's my opinion.
See, I think that the Miami thing, I just, I have a hard time with people having bachelor
at parties that are so expensive for the other guests.
So I think that maybe, depending on the financial circumstances, I might plead the financial
circumstances and just say, I really can't go, you know, why would you not go?
Kitten Hales? I just wouldn't go because I don, why would you not go? Kittenhales?
I just wouldn't go because I don't like bachelor
at parties and I don't want to go to Florida.
But if it was my sister, I mean, here's the deal.
I'd probably go because it was my sister.
But I just have, I just, I think it's a necessary
to fly all over the country when you get married
because like he said, half the time he end up divorced.
Right.
I mean, unless she's going to pay for it, and then I'm all in.
Aaron, I think you got to go.
I think you got to go.
You got to go.
If your mom get me mad if you don't, if your dad get me mad if you don't, I wouldn't,
I mean, you're an adult.
I wouldn't worry too much about what your mom and dad think.
I would worry about, well, because you're terrified of your mother.
But for those of us that aren't terrified of our parents, I wouldn't worry about it because
you're a grown adult.
And but your sibling relationships are the longest relationships of your entire life.
Those are the people with whom you know the longest.
And so I think you got to go.
I hate giving kidnails the tax money, but I think you got to nut up and go
What do I think Kyle maybe you could post a Venmo sticker on the back of his car?
Race a money. There you go. And then when you get home you can have a minty-be
Exactly. Yeah, right. Okay. Next we've got Chandler. Hey, Jen. Hey pumps. Hey Kylie
So I've had it with my birthday being insurrection day.
You know, it used to be kind of cute.
That January 6 was epiphany.
So even though my birthday was so close to Christmas, it was like, okay, that's fine.
Now it's just the day that the dumbasses and Donnie T made it to the Capitol.
There's nothing cute about that.
And I've had it.
I completely agree.
That is a total dickover.
It's just one more thing the Republicans have screwed up.
Right.
One more thing they've taken away from her birthday.
Her birthday is now a national monument to a coup d'état in the worst day in American
democracy.
Absolutely.
Since the Civil War, let's say that.
He would amazes me about the insurrection in the digital age.
They all knew it was being filmed.
And then they took their own camera footage as well.
And posted on their own social media.
They like recorded themselves breaking the law,
committing a crime, doing all kinds of other feckery,
and they post it on their own social media
Here's what gets me about the insurrection if we're gonna go there is all the people that were like
Well, you know the president called me. He called out. He wanted me there
Like did he did he want you there? You know what's so funny about the insurrection is
While he was watching it
Trump he says to his aides, I wish these people didn't look
so trash.
The aesthetics of how right neck they were bothered him.
Of course it did.
He wouldn't have them over.
But anyway, I think that is the biggest dickover.
I think that's a total dickover.
The one bright spot, the one silver lining might be
that like 20 years from now,
they make it a national holiday to commemorate
like going back to democracy,
like making it a day about America.
I don't think they would ever make that day
when national holiday.
I was trying to make the good thing about it.
Like a day, like freedom day or avoiding a democracy day.
Bunch of red necks.
But I mean, thinking about like that we didn't succumb to a coup.
You don't think maybe in 20 years?
I think you started walking down this road
and then the more you started explaining it,
the more unlikely it became.
Yeah, you're right.
Here's the deal, sis.
You're fucked.
You're fucked.
It's a total dickover.
It's one more thing that Donnie T screwed up for you.
Right. Okay. What's next, Kylie? Okay. I'm next to someone else that needed some advice.
And her name is Liz. Hello fellow queers, Kylie and pumps and Jennifer. My name is Liz. And I
need Jennifer's wise, wise wisdom on how to become a world class pickleball player.
I went to a pickleball New Year's Eve event
and I had a blast and I'm just really trying to,
you know, become my best self
and getting into the world championships of pickleball.
So how do I break into that world?
And, you know, just make lots and lots of lesbian pickle balls friends maybe find a pickle ball wife?
You know, just really become a world champion just like Jen. I'm just gonna say this. I've had it with people
encouraging the pickleball talk. Go ahead. Liz, that is a great question. And let me just tell you that before you embark on this, you have to silence out the hate.
You have to silence out the haters and the detractors. That's what I do. I don't acknowledge it.
I don't think about it. You just have to go and focus, but there's many facets to being a pickleball
champion. But let me tell you, there are certain things that you just can't coach. There are certain skillset and swagger that you just can't coach.
Some people have that it factor and some people don't.
But primarily what I would say is get you a coach, get up early and start going and drilling
all the time.
Drill as much as you can.
Find your group of ladies to play with or group of guys to play with and even if they're better than you, you go out and you commit
and you just pound that ball as hard as you fucking can. And if you're having a
hard time playing like what I do when I'm really going through a red is I think
about people that say hateful things about my passion for pickleball and I
think about how mean they are to me.
And I think about just whacking the ball right in their face
when I'm hitting it.
And before I know it, I'm playing great.
I love it.
Just go out there and train as hard as you can.
Silence the haters.
So all I have to say, I thought that was beautiful.
Thank you.
Gag.
All right, up next, we've got Olivia.
Hello, ladies.
My name's Olivia, and I have had it
with people doing things for the reason
that our ancestors did it.
I'm tired of the glamourization of home-setting.
Like it's some glamorous lifestyle.
You just wake up, pick your flowers, make bread.
These people were purely surviving. I looked it up. The average lifespan in the year 1900 was 47 years old.
So you want to do what they did. And I also think that they would laugh at us if they knew that
did. And I also think that they would laugh at us if they knew that people were choosing to give birth unmedicated. I think they would think that we are absolutely that shit crazy.
Anyway. Home setting, all of the whole like back to better days And all of that, all of that referencing,
to me is like coded language
that number one, they can't live in the moment or the now,
but also that they wanna return
to some sort of traditional or conservative way of life.
Right, they want the women not to be able to vote
and or work outside the home.
Right.
They don't want, I mean, you just don't say gay
and there won't be any gay people
instead of being socially progressive and understanding that all people are the same.
Everybody's humanized, humanized everyone. But no, the homesteading thing, yeah, like I
would want to roll out a bed and make a fucking bread from scratch. No, thank you. I'll just
go buy it. It's just easier. I just, I think that the problem with a lot of this stuff is if people were doing this
in the 1980s, we wouldn't know.
Right.
We just know too much.
We just know too much.
Right.
But now sometimes we just know too much.
And then in that knowing too much, there's a percentage of people that are doing this because
they're totally into it.
Right.
And then there's a percentage of people that are doing it for performative purposes. And it's always the performers that ruin everything for everybody.
Right. Because the people who are genuinely interested in it, good for them. Right. But I would say,
if you're genuinely interested in something, like you probably aren't spending more time on that
editing and posting videos than you are the thing you're actually
in love with.
I would concur with that.
You know, it's like these performative mothers,
the amount of time that they spend in videoing,
the things they do with their children
has to supersede actually doing things
with their children.
Agree.
Absolutely, agree.
Pumps, you wanna know something?
I'm gonna change about next year. What? I'm actually going to play more
racket sports, not less. And because I use Lumi products religiously, you will not have to worry
one bit about me smelling anything but fresh in this podcasting studio of ours. I'm so glad and I too rely on
Loomie. I love the Loomie wipes. In fact, I just reordered and I love the Oliver body dear
Adorant for my teenager that plays sports after school. It's been a game changer. You know,
we might not be the best podcasters in the world, but we smell like we are.
not be the best podcasters in the world, but we smell like we are. Lumis starter pack is perfect for new customers.
It comes with a solid, stick, deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice,
like mini body wash, and deodorant wipes, and free shipping.
As a special offer for our listeners, new customers get $5 off a Lumis starter pack
with code had it at
loomeadiodorant.com.
That equates to over 40% off your starter pack when you visit loomeadiodorant.com and use
the code had it.
This podcast is brought to you by E Harmony.
Pumps, don't you think finding someone who gets you and everything about you is really
hard?
I think it's so hard.
And you know what?
You're not alone.
That's because we're human, and there's a lot of different humans out there, which is
why e-harmonies' personality-based dating app helps you find someone you can be your
whole self with.
Someone you can be fully comfortable with.
Do you think you could give it a try, Pumps? I really like the idea that it's personality-based, so yes, I think I could. That's what true
connection and compatibility are all about, Pumps. Being seen, heard, and understood. That's why more
people are turning to e-harmony. You know, I think you are a fantastic candidate for e-harmony,
and I think you could actually connect with somebody. I'm really hopeful about this know, I think you are a fantastic candidate for e-harmony and I think you could actually
connect with somebody.
I'm really hopeful about this and I think Kylie is too.
When you match based on personality, you're already one step ahead when it comes to getting
to know one another.
Try e-harmony and get started today for free.
e-harmony, get who gets you.
Okay, Kylie, who's next? Up up next we've got two from Sophie. Okay.
Hi, poms Jessica and Kylie here. I am an avid listener
Tonight I've been writing my first. I've had it
Because I fucking had it with sick people in public
Did we learn nothing from a fucking global pandemic?
You guys took away three years of my college experience
just so that you could fucking cough up a lung
and public you got to put out a mask.
Staying near our elbow, I'm fucking had it.
Had it, sorry. I'm sorry. I've had it.
I like the soft tip to a way.
Sorry.
I've had it.
I couldn't agree more.
Have we learned nothing from a global pandemic?
I feel like sick people, there's just like, they're right back to not wearing masks.
Whether it's obviously if you're hacking up a lung pandemic? I feel like sick people, there's just like, they're right back to not wearing masks,
whether it's obviously if you're hacking up along,
somebody else can get it more often than not.
So when I was 19 years old, I went to Japan
and this is in the 90s.
And if somebody was sick,
they wore masks in public.
And I asked my friend, Kazooie, who was my host.
I said, Kazooie, why are people wearing masks in public?
And she says, it is because we Japanese are so polite.
Right.
We do not want to get other people sick.
And I thought, well, that is so nice.
Right, it makes so much nazing, the coughing,
the snotslinging, all the crap, keep it contained.
Don't spread it.
So then nobody would ever dream of doing that.
No.
In the shit show, selfish parade country of hours.
So much so that when we actually had a global pandemic, all these
truckers and all these nuts just went on a goddamn parade, you know,
about the freedom or whatever.
Right.
I mean, fuck being polite or pro life, you know,
none of that mattered.
But anyway, I agree with her that like if you're super
duper, duper sick and coughing,
but you have to go and public just slap a mask on.
It's not hard, it's common courtesy.
I agree.
And I just don't understand why people don't do it now
that COVID's not technically a pandemic anymore.
Because people are still giving it to each other.
Yeah, I mean, I think she's just talking about like even just like a generalized
cough RSV situation. There will be around people like on airplanes,
yeah, or on public transportation,
or standing in line with them and they're just hacking.
Yes. And it's like just put on a mask.
I think it's common courtesy. I think she's on to something. I agree. More people should do it. She's right. All right. So let's play the second
one from Sophie. Hello, Jennifer. Pums Kylie Kylie's bench. Sorry, I'm gonna rush doing
this quick. I have had it with nasty working males. I fucking had it. Then see you see my manager.
Also why are you saying I don't know if everyone's working from home playing with their children
in pet?
No, we're just not replying to you because you're not that fucking important.
Like Jesus Christ will continue to get to you.
Okay, calm the fuck down.
So if he's just had it, she's had it.
That is so true.
Sometimes with people I don't like,
I might take a day or two to respond just to irritate them on purpose. So you know what I did
once. So there was this guy. I was working on this big commercial interior design project.
And this guy that was like one of the lead guys from the construction department on the project
lead guys from the construction department on the project was unbelievably unaware. I was shocked and this guy was probably 15, 20 years older than me.
I was shocked that he had made it that far, not only in his career, but also in life.
I mean, just a level of incompetence that I was just like, whoa.
So he calls me one Friday afternoon
at like 4.50 p.m. on a Friday
and says, I need X, Y, Z by the end of the day today.
And I'm like, dude, the end of the day today is in 10 minutes.
Right, not gonna happen.
And he's like pitched a fit like he needed it.
So this girl that worked for me at the time,
she and I, as a total tip for tat
retaliatory thing, we would prepare these really long things that we needed as feedback and they
were all arbitrary, nothing really real. But we create this busy work because he was just dumb
enough to fall for it. Right. And we would program the email to go out at 459 p.m. every Friday. And it would be like a 20 to 25 point
bullet point email. And we would say at the end, thank you for getting this back to us by the end
of this week. I have done something similar. I had this one longer. I hated his gut. He was a pompous
dick. Everybody hated him. So he made a big huge point at his office. Don't fax anything
because he's charged by whomever owned his office. He's charged a certain rate for
every fact. So he's like, let me pick it up, put it in the mail. This is before email.
So he pissed me off one day, really bad. And so I had discovery to send to him
and it was like a hundred pages.
And I sat at that fax machine
and I didn't fax it once.
I faxed it twice on purpose.
Just because I was like,
fax you, you dick.
There are certain ways to like really fuck
with people in work settings.
It looks like you're being a good worker.
Right.
But like that guy, when he sent me that,
I was like, he was something he had dropped the ball on.
Right, and then he wanted you to fix it for him.
Yes, so we punished him.
I think that this girl and I that worked for me,
we did it like every Friday for like the next three
to four Fridays.
And we would be crying laughing as we were creating the emails and like just this
fools errand that we would send him on that he was dumb enough to fall for.
But I'm with her. It's like, oh.
And I'm such an asshole that if somebody's not responding to my emails,
I have zero issues sending like three or four a day.
Right. Like I will be the squeaky wheel.
Yeah.
If I need the information, but if it's just like you can get back to me any
time, I'm fine.
If I don't get it for the next, till the next day or like 24, yeah, 36 hours
later.
My biggest thing are people that like text you, like I work typically from, you know, eight to five would be appropriate
hours to text me.
Right.
And then I have some clients that text me at 6.30 a.m. and at 9.00 p.m. and they're always
the same people and on Sundays.
And I'll respond to the text, hey, at home with my family, can we talk about this Monday morning?
And then the person responds, yeah, I just didn't want to forget about this.
I'm like, if you put it in email, then I'll see it Monday morning.
Because the thing about a text is, I've got, I'm going to get 200 texts between now and then
it's going to be pushed way down the phone. And the people that, like, I really am making
a concerted effort not to text people
whom I'm doing business with unless it's work hours and if it's after work hours just send
them an email.
Yeah, no, I do that too.
I have some clients right now that are just working me over.
It's like 6 a.m. I'm a morning person and I'm up.
I don't want to think about your ass just yet.
Right.
I need a little time.
Yeah. Now I'm pretty guilty of sending really early morning emails.
But an email's different.
Email is a completely different.
When you get to it, an email is a completely different form of communication that I think
can be sent at any time.
I do too.
And sometimes you use that time to your advantage deflects.
Like, look, you's up at 4.45 AM working their ass off.
It's a nice time stamp.
The text, it just gets way too personal to do it outside of work hours.
Now I completely agree.
Okay, the last one is from Hearts of Palm.
Angel of the Aprons Diana.
What I've had it with, and this is now a pandemic across the UK it's parents coming onto
buses with prams you know kids and prams I can't stand it I can't I'm always behind I'm always
behind these people and then they're getting on and they look to me and the guy you're gonna help me
They're getting on and they look to me and the guy you're gonna help me are you gonna help me put the pram in the bus?
Why? Yeah, that's not my child. They're my pram. You're the one that decided to go out on public transport
You know with the pram it in tow
Why should I help you get it inside? I've got back issues. I touch in that and
When the child stuff falls off the pram and they look at you and go, could you pick that up please?
I'm like, why don't I just shove a broomstick up my ass?
And I'll sweep the floor as I go along. How about do that then?
You know what's so great about the British accent? It's fabulous.
You can really, really present being a total asshole. Right. In a very rational,
sort of way. Elegant. Yeah. It's very elegant.
Elegant. Assholary. Yeah. I'll tell you what, how about I get a broomstick?
Cramming up my ass. All right. I think he says, ours.
How about we have with this, Brian?
Why?
Yeah, I didn't bring my baby on here.
Yeah, I mean, I got to love it.
It's so right.
People with kids just assume everybody,
I think they're cute and be wants to help.
That's just not true.
Yeah, you know, the further I get from my kids
being super little and I know that this is incredibly hypocritical.
The more intolerant I am, a baby's and toddlers, and I was there. We had them. We were some of the
biggest offenders. We were the biggest offenders. We were. My personally was an offender. We were
nightmares in restaurants. Nightmare. Our kids were nightmares. If there was public transportation
in Oklahoma, we would have been everybody's most
hated moms and children in the city. No question. No question. We would have schlepped our
strollers on there and expected every mother feckered to help us. Absolutely. Been pissed if they
didn't. The further I get away from that era in my life, the more I'm with this British guy here.
Yeah, me too. I don't want to help. I don't
want to look at it. I don't think your baby's cute. Why did you even have this baby? What are you
doing here? You know, why are you taking up too much room? Yeah, tell your baby to shut up and I
don't think it's cute at all. And I don't think you're cute either. And for that matter, you're not
cute either. Yeah. All right, listener. Well, thank you so much for tuning in. Please join us on our
Patreon. We have formed a full fledged cult. It's called the
cult of the titty mamas. And you can join to figure out what
all of that is about. As you can imagine, pumps and I are the
cult leaders. And please leave us five star review on Apple
and send us voice mimos with your grievances or maybe some advice you'd like to
receive from us check out the hot shit tour in pumps tell them. We will see you next Tuesday or Thursday
or both.
you