I've Had It - Plumbers and Swingers

Episode Date: January 2, 2024

Jen and Pumps are kicking off the new year with some bizarre news stories - from a man who may or may not be in love with his plumber to a psycho neighbor demanding a dog have it’s name changed. Jennifer has had it with crazy sports parents and Pumps has had it with almost all gum-chewers except for Jen. Come see I've Had It live on the Hot Sh*t Tour! More info & tickets available at https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast and subscribe to I've Had It wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you to our sponsors: HelloFresh: Go to HelloFresh.com/ivehaditfree and use code ivehaditfree for FREE breakfast for life! One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. SKIMS: Believe the hype - SKIMS has over 100,000 five star reviews for a reason SKIMS Bras are now available at SKIMS.com Plus, get free shipping on orders over seventy five dollars! If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you! After you place your order, select "podcast" in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

So we supposed to start the podcast. Ready, one, two, three. Oh, that was an outstanding clap if I do say so myself. You are an outstanding podcaster, so that is totally on brand for you. Yep. Totally on brand. Pumps, what have you had it with? What I've had it with is people that smack their gum. Okay. It's gross enough when a child does

it. But when you're at a sporting event and the person next to you is smacking their gum and you can hear it three people down, I find that just fucking gross. And you're a huge gum chewer. You constantly have it. You have your little packs. You're such an efficient user. Like I never have heard you smack one time. And I'm with you 24, 7, 365. You always put your trash right back in the little package. Just perfectly done. It's not anybody else's problem. You're again. This woman, I'm three rows down, I mean three seats down from her. And her gum is my problem, not only that. The gum that she took out of her mouth, she put it in a napkin and just left it in the napkin on the ground. First and foremost, let's get back to me.

Your favorite subject. Yeah, that was great. I do. So, listen, I am a nicotine gum ch subject. Yeah, that was great. I do. So, listener, I am a nicotine gum chua. Yeah. And have been since around 2014. And I try to keep, you keep it tight. The piece of gum that comes out of the container, I get the head of nicotine and then once it's chewed, it goes back in and I seal it back up and it's nobody else's problem. I collect all of my little U's.

Just throw them away. Yeah. Which, that is probably what my problem is with Gensmackers, is that you have set the bar so high that others cannot compete. I couldn't agree more. This is an amazing episode and we're only two minutes in. I mean, agree more. This is an amazing episode. We're only two minutes in. I mean, killing it.

Let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay. And it's not so much a had it. I just want to give a shout out to all the referees that have to ref school games right now. You and I are in the throes of our sons high school basketball seasons. And I'm going to these games and the refs. It's unbelievable what they go through. It's unbelievable how the parents behave. That's it. The parents are so out of control screaming at the refs and it's always like if you win if you win the game nobody's bitching about the right. It's a sore loser parade. And if your kid travels and blows his whistle. And then your screaming at the ref throwing your arms up in the air like a nut, the ref done

give a shit. The ref doesn't give a shit. He's enforcing the rules. And guess what? Your kid is not perfect. I know that's a tough one to swallow sometimes. And it's just amazing sitting in these basketball jams. How many people think that their child is the next LeBron James? And I'm always struck by, he's not because we would already know.

You wouldn't have to tell us. You wouldn't have to be loud about it because we already know. That's right. And it's just, it's unbelievable. I mean, I kind of feel sorry for the refs. And what I really, really, really hate, did you hear about those two refs that got in a fist fight with each other

at a fourth graders' game? No. Like, it was like last week. No. Yes, the ref started fighting. All the pressure from the parents, I guess, I don't know. But it makes, it's an embarrassment. The parents are so out of control, listener, at these games.

They are complete lunatics. And again, like Pumps said, if your child is going to be the next basketball sensation, everybody's going to know about it. You don't have to create attention for yourself in the stands or your child because you don't have to. You know, Josh almost got in a fist fight with a Rev. Not recently.

This was, this was a few years ago. I think Roman was probably in fifth or sixth grade. He's playing on this really good AAU basketball team, right? Well, as you know, if your child's played AAU basketball they play all the time all the time So we're at this gym and Josh is I mean a Tomahawk chopper helicopter dad Deluxe going bananas the ref had it with him They had warned him multiple times like it starts escal escalating. Of course, I filmed the entire thing. Of course. So at one point, the ref finally walks over to Josh because Josh is

standing up under the basket just right outside. I mean, just calling, making calls like he's a ref. He's coaching the kids. Mind you there. Do you have a coach? Right. There's already two or three refs out on the court. But Josh is just doing. He's, I don't know, helping. Helping. He thinks. So the ref finally looks at him and says, I'm going to kick your ass out of this. Okay. This ref is a lot bigger than Josh.

And there's no question. Josh is six three, but there's no question my mind that Josh Welch would have had his ass. What? There's no question the ref with Teffer period full stop. So the game ends and I, you know, of course, have my video camera going. Right. And I'm videoing the whole thing.

And so Josh goes to one of the other dads and he's like, look bro, like I kind of got out of control. You're going to have to have my back here. I think I'm going to get my ass kicked in the parking lot. And so the ref finishes the game game, they do the slapping, the ref just goes ahead and takes off as the night strikes shirt and he's screaming at Josh. And so one of the other dads is like,

hey, he was out of control. And at the end of the day, Josh really is a lover, not a fighter. He isn't a fighter. So at the end of the day, they ended up not fistfighting. But I just, you know what? In a why? As much as I love my husband and his father of my children, I was kind of team breath. For sure. If he was being obnoxious on the side of my life, he deserved to get his ass kicked. Yeah. Anyway, welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She is

Judge Judy Diana. One of the country's great legal minds and everybody knows the top podcaster in the United States of America Possibly the globe Kylie. Hello. Do you have anything for us on the world wide web? I just have one little tick-tock comment. I want to read you. Okay. The username is that bitch 101 Okay, and they write I Wish these old hose would stop voicing their unwanted opinions. I've got such a great solution for her. Don't watch them. I mean, why is the burden on us?

Easy. Yes. Why is the burden on us? She needs to stop listening. Right. Don't put the burden on us. She needs to stop listening. Right, don't put the burden on us. Take accountability for your own listening. Don't listen. Yeah, I do kind of like she thought I might be a hoe though. An old hoe. An old hoe. We already have a lot of forced listeners, right?

A lot of them. Yeah, she doesn't have to listen. She didn't have to be one. Everybody who has their ear pods in right now, you all are forced to listen. Right. Bitch 101, what's her name? A little bit.

That bitch 101. That bitch 101. Okay. Well, today we are going to dive into some hard-hitting news stories. What are my favorites? I have been perusing the World Wide Web in search of stories that I think might

peak your interest, pops up. Okay, good. And you, listener. So, of course, I was over at the mirror, of course. And I found a headline and it says, entitled, bride blasted after asking friend to make her wedding cake for free. This bride to be is come under fire after asking her friend to make her wedding cake, but then getting offended

when she asks for contributions to cover the cost of the ingredients. The bride shared her story on Facebook and says, I've asked my friend to make the wedding cake for me for 75 plus people. And she's coming back asking me if I'm contributing to the cost of the cake, as it's going to cost her $300 plus to make it. And my wrong to be offended that she's not gifting me the cake as a wedding

present. One person responds, this is why when you have professional skills like baking or seamstress or hair and makeup, you don't use friends or family. So true. And another user states, no one owes you anything. Stop taking advantage of your friends. Completely agree. And then another user says, $300 in materials plus time storage delivery and setup. Does that include cutting after the ceremonial part? That's a lot of work in addition to materials. Its value is probably closer to 1,000.

My niece's cake from her wedding two weeks ago was $1,300 for 150 people. So basically schooled the girl and saying, it's a discount. Pay for the cake. Right. What I cannot believe is the entitlement that she would think that her friend should go $300 out of pocket expenses plus all the time and energy to make a cake and that there was zero compensation involved. Like, I think brides and pregnant people, they think that they're the only person that's ever gotten married and that their day is so special.

It's so special. It's my special day. It's just any other day on the calendar. You just happen to be having a wedding ceremony that day. You're not the most special person on the calendar, you just happened to be having a wedding ceremony that day. You're not the most special person on the planet. Like that, I would tell that girl, you know what? Not only am I not going to make your cake, I'm not coming to your wedding and I'm going to block you from my phone because you are a miserable human being. So we're done. Solve that problem immediately. That's how she would handle it listener.

She would tell her to fuck herself. Take the cake and cram it up her fucking wedding dress. Yes. Pumps, a lot of people have these new year's resolutions like save money, eat better, stress out less. Well, let me tell you something. Hello, fresh is here to help you do all three. Say hello to your most delicious year yet with the fresh ingredients and chef-crafted recipes

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place your order, select Podcast in the survey, and select our show, I've had it in the drop down menu that follows. Okay, I've got a story titled, My Boyfriend Says I Embarrassed Him While I Was Giving Birth. Taking to Reddit, a 20 year old said, I had a natural birth, and my boyfriend was there throughout the whole process. I screamed a lot, and each time I did, he whispered something like, can you stop screaming? You're really embarrassing me. She shared how she threw up a few times during labor, and her boyfriend covered his face in shame.

She said, when I held the midwife's hand for comfort, he whispered, let go of her, stop being so embarrassing. The new mom added that her boyfriend even criticized her birthing position and called her vulgar names. When she tried to discuss this behavior after their son's birth, he denied everything and dismissed her concerns as silly. I hate him. Hate. Hate. So is gaslighting her after the fact. He's gaslighting her because she was loud and squeezed a hand and maybe threw up during childbirth? Like gross and thick skin, mother feckers.

Let's shove a baby out your penis and see how you feel. I mean, what a dick. Huge dick. A total dick. That's a good fuck yourself. And here's the thing too, like we would be remiss if we didn't mention that she's putting this information out on the world wide web.

So is that a cry for help? Is she still with the guy? Obviously she's still with him. Yeah. She answers to that. Okay. She asked to go to couples counseling and he hasn't. So she's asking for advice from people, which everyone is saying, leave his

ass. Leave his down. He's going to be a horrible father. Well, I don't know how he'll be as a father, but he will not be a co-parent. He'll be, yeah. He'll want you to control the child. He'll be one of those that's like,

he's getting into something, stop emits embarrassing me in public and it's like, you're fucking kid, get him yourself. You don't like it? It's gonna be one of those people that thinks he's babysitting. Oh, first taking care of his own child. He's a babysitter dad. He's a baby his own child. He's a babysitter dad.

He's a baby, a Disney dad and a babysitter dad. Yeah, 100%. You know, listen to what Disney dads are, is when you're separated or going through a divorce, you're getting divorced. You have one parent that has to do all the real time stuff. You know, art projects that are due the next morning. Sick kid, sick kid,

karate lessons, drop off, pick up. And then you have the parent that strolls in once every two weeks and you go to Disneyland. And it's high times. And then the kid says, well, God, dad's so much fun. And it's like, well, no shit. You little snot knows Brad. He sees you 24 hours. I could be a fucking blast in 24 hours.

Well, yeah, if I didn't watch what you're eating, make sure you did your homework. I'd be fun too. Right, exactly. Okay, the next one is mom is raising daughter to be a quote, traditional wife. And she says it's acceptable to serve a man. This mom takes the TikTok and she's got a daughter that's about five, okay? She posts and she's causing a

stir because she's raising her daughter to be traditional wife who will serve and depend on her future husband. She says, I'm teaching my daughter that it's perfectly acceptable to depend on a man. That being a homemaker is the number one career she should strive for. This is what she shared in her TikTok video. And then she says, and that serving her husband and bearing children will be her greatest joy. and bearing children will be her greatest joy. It has 1.6 million likes, likes, and a bunch of comments in agreement. Are you kidding me? Then she says in a world full of women teaching their children that their only goal is to go to university, get a good job and make money.

I'm teaching my little girl to live a slow life, to be a biblical woman that wants a husband and a beautiful family that she can serve daily. That joy comes from God and family, not a career. I don't even know what to say. I thought it was satire. I thought you were going to tell me this was all satire. Yeah. So then of course, some people chime in, you know, and they're saying, let her decide on her own. And then one commenter says, I'm so glad my mom taught me to be the exact opposite. 100%. Number one, it's so misogynist.

Like this woman has, clearly she's a religious knight. Obviously, that came out loud and clear. And the fact that so many women are trapped in situations with men who abuse them, emotionally, physically, financially, and if you're being raised to do this, then you're being raised to just completely put up with abuse. Except abuse because that's part of your job

because you are not the superior being. She could have just thrown in priest holder and we'd have a full, blown Mormon situation going on. In the TikTok video, they're standing at a mixer. She's teaching her how to mix stuff to bake it. Okay, first of all, this kid's fucking five years old. Yeah, but she's raising her pump.

She's raising her to be a traditional wife and it starts young, I guess. I guess. Oh, that just breaks my heart for that kid. I mean, that's just a sad life. It's so, you know, listener, we bring this up a lot, but we live in the Bible belt and it's shocking that there are still people that are raising their daughters like this.

It's amazing. And I've been to in the last two years, both years, I've been in a wafew football game where they were introducing like their homecoming quarter, whatever. It was like the future aspirations. And once last year and once this year, one of the gals, aspiration was to find a husband, get married and raise children. And I remember the first time I was like, where's her fucking mother? Where's the fucking principal of the school? Where's the teacher? Where is somebody not guiding her that this is a bad idea? That they actually let her put this out loud to be read at a half time of a football

game. But then you realize that's what they think. Like that's her method. And I'm like, here's my question is, what do you do when you find out you can't be married to that person anymore? So you now have a loser husband at 10 of kids, no financial independence, then what fucking happens? They just sit there and take it and then she tells her kids the exact same thing because it's normal to all of them. They've normalized sexism and misogyny because pumps, it's biblical and it's what God wants and it's delusion and it's not helpful for women or girls. I mean, that

worries me. That could just get me fired the fuck up. It's bad. It's bad. Kylie, do you have any good news? I have zero good news. Oh shit. All right. All right. The title of this one is mandubbed worst person on the internet. Okay. So posting to Twitter, one man wrote, wife is desperate to have kids, but it's just not happening for us. She recently suggested I go to a doctor to check it all works down there. I struggled to bite my tongue and not tell her it must be her, as I recently had to take my mistress to have a termination a few months ago. Many readers rushed to tell the man that his mistress was probably sleeping with someone else, urging him to not only get tested his mistress was probably sleeping with someone else.

Urging him to not only get tested for STDs, but also fertility. However, the vast majority of people begged the cheating husband to give his wife the Christmas present of leaving her and giving her a chance to find real love. Agree with the Christmas present idea. Shit. That took a turn. I was not expecting. I thought he was just a dick because he didn't want to

whack off in a kev at the doctor's office. But he's got a mistress. Okay, I guess the basic question and granted I didn't I would not have thought this in my early life like 20s and 30s. We know I was stupid. We know I made all the mistakes. I mean, that's not even up for discussion. That's assumed. That's master of the obvious. But I look at that and think, why are you trying to get pregnant with your wife? Why don't you just leave to be with your mistress? Why are you even going through the motions of all this? Why are you posting it on the internet? Why are you posting it on the internet? Why do we even know about this? Right. Oh, that's it. He's a little, little, it's what he is. All right, here's one.

A neighbor orders his other neighbor to change their dog's name because it's confusing to his daughter. What? A man has been left outraged after his entitled neighbor ordered him to change his dog's name because it's, quote, confusing to his daughter. He explained that he has a six-year-old dog named Charlotte, and he was living peacefully in his lower middle class suburb until a young family move next door. So he takes to Reddit the dog owner. He says, I let Charlotte go out and potty roughly

six or so times a day. It's always the same routine, opens the back door, Charlotte runs out, and doesn't typically come back immediately until he pokes his head out and says, Charlotte, and then Charlotte runs up. One day, he opens up the door, and he was met by a very large angry man screaming and shouting at him. He's twice a size glaring him down and he says something like, why the fuck are you calling my daughter into your house? And I responded, your daughter's name is Charlotte. And he just kind of kept glaring at him. And the absence of a response, he followed up with, Charlotte's my dog's name, dude. And then he rolled his eyes at me and said, I better change my dog's name

because he doesn't want his two-year-old daughter getting confused and running into my house. What? He called me stupid and said that a human child obviously has priority over a dog for a name. The dog owner pits all this stuff on Reddit and there's a lot of advice at what he should do. Some people are like, change the name,

or some people are like, double down, and this guy says, I'll tell you what I would do. I would get another dog and name it his wife's name. That is a fantastic idea. He better not change his dog's name. Tell the kid a human, his dog's name is Charlotte too. When he calls for her since you don't know him, don't go into his house.

Now we're done talking about it. It's just such ridiculous entitlement. It's entitlement. To tell somebody to change their dog's name, okay, first and foremost, the dog is six. The child is two. Right. Probably because of life expectancy, Charlotte the the human's going to live outlive

Charlotte the dog. Let's hope because Charlotte the dog is around 40 something dog years. So this guy is only living in this real short game. And it can't say, Oh, sweet Charlotte, our neighbor's dog has the same dog name as yours and said he has to be a dick and knock on the door. And you know what he is? He's a male Karen because Karen's are, it can go either way. Yeah, it can be a boy or a girl. That's true. I just think the neighbor should have walked over if he was concerned about it and said, hi, I'm John so and so. My daughter's name Charlotte. She hears you calling. Oh, your dog's name Charlotte. Oh, okay, I'll let her know.

And that's the end of it. Why is his daughter's name have any effect on the neighbor's dog's name? It's obviously a psychopath. He can't just change a dog's name halfway through their life. No, you can't. And he's like, he's a species supremacist that he thought that his daughter,

because it's a human, should have priority over the dog. And I mean, you know, Kylie and I listener, Phil, that, you know, dogs are often overlooked. We, Kylie and I worry immensely about what happens to dogs in divorce. And I don't pump, doesn't care. But we care. And you can't just rename Charlotte who's six years old. I think he could rename his daughter. She's only two. Right. So that the dog doesn't get confused and run into their home. Right. Rename Charlotte, who's six years old. I think he could rename his daughter. She's only two. Right, so that the dog doesn't get confused and run into their home. Right, Rename Charlotte, the kid. She won't even know.

Yes, she would never fucking know, but you know what, Charlotte, the dog would. All right, I've got a man who is being praised for his petty revenge online. A man is being praised for his petty revenge after a stranger parked in his driveway to attend a party. He came home from work on Friday to find another person's car parked up his driveway, leaving

him with no other option to park elsewhere. He said, I came home from work, someone is in my driveway, and keep in mind my driveway is a single car width lined with a retaining wall on both sides, and a garage at the end, so it's essentially impossible for a tow truck to come pull them out. So he had to park in the street and he decided to park right behind the car blocking it in. So a few hours later, the entitled Parker knocked on his door, demanding he move his car so she could drive away. But he wasn't having it.

Seeing as they were demanding, I informed them that I had been drinking and I legally could not move my car. Ha ha ha ha ha. The entitled Parker decided to call the police to get them to force me to move. When the police knocked on the door, I made sure to go to the fridge, grab a beer, and go answer it. I informed them that when I got home,

I started drinking and I was in no shape to drive. They couldn't move it, and then he told the woman that he wasn't due back to work until Tuesday, so she could come get it after then. Oh, that's a boss bitch move. I love that. It's totally savage. I love it.

You know how Karen would have handled that situation. I would have gone door to door to door to door until I found out whose car that was and insisted they move it immediately. I really like his approach. His approach was way better. I love him. He was like, you know what, fuck this. I'm gonna get hammered.

Yeah. And I'm gonna have a good time. And this is gonna be a fantastic evening. And I'm gonna make what she made my problem. It's gonna now be her problem. Yeah. No, I should get the cops. The cops come, they could argue with him.

They can't argue with him. They can't do that. I am intoxicated. I'm not moving my car. I'm not on my way. Nobody else drive my car. That was brilliant. It's my driveway. I'm blocking my own driveway in essence.

Right. She parked her car here. How about the cops loved it? Loved it. I'm sure that second bitch in the year that was ob-na-shus. Okay. Here's a guy guy and he says, I got drunk and invited Plummer to Thanksgiving dinner.

I can't back out now. This man took to social media to share how he accidentally invited his Plummer over for Thanksgiving dinner when he was drunk. And now his wife is ordering him to uninvite the plumber. With Thanksgiving just hours away, people are preparing their vegetables and table settings ready for the big day. But one man is having to make a painful phone call to his plumber after inviting him to join his family for Thanksgiving dinner when he was drunk. He says, my plumber has a heart of 24 karat gold. And he takes to read it. He says, I've actually started smiling when I clog the toilet because it means he's coming over with his Italian accent and his arcane sense of humor. I honestly couldn't say what it is about him that excites me so much. I guess we all have people in our lives that we for some reason just enjoy being around. After calling him out to fix a sink, the duo struck up

their quote, most intimate conversation ever. The plumber opened up about how his ex-wife was supposed to join him in the States a few years back but instead fell in love with another man. He lives alone here in the US while all of his family is still in Italy. And he just had a major falling out with three of his best friends. After he was done working, I opened up a bottle of tequila and we kept taking shots and talking until we were beyond fucked up. At one point, I guess I felt really bad about his situation. So invited him to Thanksgiving

dinner and he began to weep. We hugged and he told me he appreciated it so much. Then we took three more shots and he drove home. My wife was so annoyed because she was, they're newly married and she wanted to make a good impression. When I told her that our plumber was coming over for Thanksgiving dinner, she went off. We've only been married a few months and this is going to be our first Thanksgiving as a family.

Her parents and siblings are coming over and it's a huge deal for her. She really wants to prove herself as a hostess and as an adult. So now I've got to call him and let him know that he can't come but it will shatter my heart. And it's going to be a very awkward phone call. He says, I might polish off the tequila tonight and him a text or something.

So one user responds after he posts this, you know, that he's invited his plumber over. One user responds and says, you know, you might have really helped this guy because he was in a really low place, so good for you. Maybe you can get your wife to come around. And another person, I thought, was probably the best question, says, why did he, the plumber, drive home after taking so many shots? Great point. You know what my thought was when you were reading that? Sounds like love to me. Totally.

I mean, I think it's love. I think we've got a betting romance here. It's a romance for sure. It's definitely a romance, but it almost sounds more like a romance. He said, I don't know what it is about. I don't know what it is about him. I just want to be with him, but I'll tell you this too. I think there's a convincing argument to be made to your wife.

Like, if you want to prove yourself as an adult and a hostess, entertain the plumber on Thanksgiving with your, with your other guests and make it all seem completely comfortable. That's your true test as a hostess. Yeah, back to this. This is what he wrote. He said, I honestly couldn't say what it is about him that excites me so much. He excites me so much. I guess we all have people in our lives that we

for some reason just enjoy being around. You think it's a slap and tickle? I think it's excited when a drain gets clogged. I think it's, I think it's a crash. I think it's a major romantic crash. Sound, I mean, I love you to pieces, but I wouldn't say, what was the quote again? Just being exciting to be around him. Maybe the wife in Italy of the plumber thought, you know what, I think he's gay. Right.

So I'm not moving over to the United States. Right. And then they, you know, they're getting hammered. They're having all this tequila. But why did he let the plumber drive home? It says here, they did three more shots after and then he drove home. Yeah, that's a bad, that's a bad call. That's a bad decision.

I think the wife should let him come to Thanksgiving. I kind of think they should do. I think the wife should have let him come. But this reminds me, there's a great curburentusiasm episode where Larry invites Jeff's exterminator to go to those kids that Larry adopted to their musical. He invites the exterminator to go with him and they go.

And so this is kind of like this. And I can see, the plumbers over, they hit it off, they're having a great time. Whoever this guy has hired the plumber, clearly, it's why I've kind of bugged him or something. That's not a news flash. You get married and all of a sudden it's like, but he really got excited about this plumber. He says he has a heart of 24 karat gold. Yeah, I mean, he's crazy about the plumber. I mean, I kind of get, even though I'm team plumber

because I think the husband likes him like him, I do think that if your spouse rolls in and says, hey, I got drunk with the plumber and invited him to Thanksgiving. That you're like, what the fuck? Like, why are you inviting people to our Thanksgiving? I will say, like I work on job sites all the time. And I love all of the subcontractors that I work with. But if I, if Josh said, hey, you know, such and such was over here on

clogging the toilet and I went in and invited him to Thanksgiving. I'd be like, what the fuck are you doing? What the fuck? Why? Why? So I think the only reason I'm soft on this one is that I feel like the husband really likes him.

I think so too. And I kind of like the plumber. I kind of like the plumber. I kind of the way he made the case that the plumber was rejected. He's here all alone. He invited the plumber was rejected. He's here all alone. He invited the plumber for Thanksgiving, the plumber starts bowling baby crying. This guy feels like, fuck yeah, I'm a great guy. I've befriended the Italian plumber. And

then you know what happens, the translation from high times on tequila to so bad translate to reality. It did not. The Tequila hangover was massive. It sounds like it was several days of Tequila hangover. Here's what I want to know. Why did the plumber's three friends just dampen? I don't know, these are great questions. I mean, that's what I'm like. The wife dumped him.

The three friends dumped him. It's so, it's kind of like, what's going on with him? And his best friend's wife just dumped him for Thanksgiving. It's getting a like what's going on with him and and his best friends wife just dumped him for things given It's getting a lot of rejection five people Just in that one little article that have rejected this Italian plumber. I love plumbers and I love Italians I do but something is a little bit fishy that you get Excited when your toilet gets clogged. I'm calling it left. Do you remember when my plumber on Whipper Will had a crush on me and invited

me to kept inviting me to Red Lobster? Do you remember that? Yeah. So I kind of have a little experience in this area. Jufakim? No, I didn't. No. The Lord did I go to let Red Lobster. The listener wanted to know. I wanted to make sure that we are a thorough podcast. Yeah. You were invited to go to Red Lobster, which I'm sure was super exciting and tempting. Just wanted to find out when your

toilet was getting unclogged and your sink was getting unclogged, you weren't excited about your plumber. No, I was not. He sure was excited about you. He was. He was awfully sweet that he had a heart of 24-karat gold. He was nice. I didn't get to his heart.

So let me just have a follow up question. So he does the plumbing services. Well, remember, I had to have my whole hardwood floor pull that. So it was like a weak job. So he was at my house every day for a week. And he called me. He had my number. And I don't know why, but he did.

And he just called me and said, hey, really enjoy talking to you. She wouldn't have got a luncheer at Losters. I was like, you know, that is so nice. Thank you for thinking of me, but I'm gonna have to pass. And what did he say? He was nice.

I mean, it wasn't like awkward or anything. Was this after you'd already paid the bill and it was the project was complete or is this mid project? I'm trying to think I know for a fact. I saw him at least one day after because I was like, Oh, God, I don't want to remember that. Okay. Let me ask you this. A couple of follow up questions. Okay. You like prancing around without a bra on. No. I think you were prancing around. No. I wouldn't have been where you shaking your titties at the plumber? No, I was not. All right, I'm just checking.

I mean, I had a baby, a three-year-old, and a five-year-old. There's no telling what I was shaking. But I don't think I would have been running around without a bra with him in my house. If I remember correctly, at this specific house, I remember one time I came to your front door, rang the doorbell, you didn't answer. So I ran around at the back, sliding glass door and knocked on it. And you walked out, but naked with a toothbrush in your hand,

brush in your teeth and came and unlocked the door like it was perfectly normal, opened it right on up and we just walked right on in. Well, I knew that you guys were coming. So, I wasn't like, no, it was an ambush. It was me and Betsy. It wasn't ambush? Yeah, you did not know we were coming.

And I knocked on the front door, crickets. So then I came around to the back door. I would never met Betsy before. I don't know. Yes, I want to introduce you to my friend Betsy. So, we walked around to the back, and I'm banging on the door and you come out with your toothbrush.

And this would have been in the Red Lobster Plumber era of the year. I would have been, and you can all prancing out with the dragons who were much perkyer than they are. They were really kind of stunning at the time. Real stunners. They were just dragons. Now it was full blown callisi shit.

It was great. It was blown, callisi shit. It was great. It was full blown, callisi shit. So you walk out in your brush in your teeth and we both start dying laughing. And you go, oh, hey girls, come on in. I'm like the sliding ice door, open it up. You turn around, the butt cheeks and the dragons paraded back. Got on some clothes and came out

like it was nobody else. So there's no telling. I'm not listen, I am not a red lobster victim shamer. I want that noted for the permanent record. Okay, but I do know you and I do know that there could have been some titty shake and going on around this plumber. And it brought your house for a week. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. And they were impressive back in the day. Oh, I mean, absolutely. Talk about a dynamic duo. They were a total dynamic duo. It's a crash and burn. Apples and tube socks. Apples and tube socks. All right. Here we have a man baffled after finding pineapple with welcome sign on his doorstep.

So a man has been left scratching his head after finding a pineapple with a welcome sign on his doorstep. He feared it might be a marker for thieves saying it made me think someone has left it to mark our house for a potential robbery when we're gone. At work I told my friend about what happened and immediately he said you were invited to a swing or party. That's exactly what I thought. I was stumped. What? He proceeded to explain the story of swingers and pineapples. Basically, if you place a pineapple at your door, you're stating you're having a swing or party. If it's upside down, you're looking for swingers. If someone places a pineapple on your doorstep, they're inviting you to swing. If you leave it there upside down, you're

responding to their invite, accepting it. He says, this freaked me out. Straight away, I texted my girlfriend to tell her what I found out. She was both flattered and disgusted a little. She's a jealous type. The couple spent weeks trying to figure out which one of their neighbors was inviting them to party, but began ruling out those with kids. My girlfriend said to put it back out and maybe they'd take it back, but I didn't want anyone thinking that I was having a swing or party. We went back and forth in this and even had the discussion of the possibility of going for it. That didn't go over too well with

my girlfriend. But after spending weeks keeping a check on his neighbors, his friends texted him out of the blue about a completely unrelated matter he added, I had this weird gut feeling out of nowhere that he knew something about it. So he asked him, his friend denies it completely. So I bluffed and said my security camera for the bikes caught him on video and it turns out it was in fact him. He was in town in a pub. Got drunk went past a small gift shop with the pineapple in the window and thought it

would be great to core for us. We're very close friends and give each other random gifts. He was being collected by his girlfriend and he had to beg her to come to our house to drop off the gift, but she refused to go in because she was tired after work. They compromised on leaving it at the door

and running away. He didn't know anything about pineapples and swingers and he was rolling laughing when I was telling him about what he stirred up. So then of course, people start commenting. Somebody in the comment section says, bro, your friend wants to swing. For sure.

That's an elaborate ruse. He should have just said, yeah, we're kind of in swinging. See what you think. What about he, this girlfriend, they're just racking their brains. And at one point, even pitches, well, maybe we should go for it. Maybe we should try it.

Here's what I mean, would you ever be that upset if somebody left your pineapple that you would like spend weeks investigating and interrogating your friends? I really wouldn't. Here's what I think. I think he wants to swing. I think the friend and the guy

that received the pineapple colluded. It's collusion. 100%. He does this whole thing on Reddit, performatively, for his girlfriend, as a cover story. So here you got one buffoon. He's like, oh my God, I got a pineapple. This girlfriend's like, that's so weird. Who did that?

And then he goes, I have brought it up at work. And they say it's for the swing or thing. She's like, ooh, that's weird. I'm such a jealous type. Then all of a sudden, he gets a gut feeling that it's some random friend who says, yeah, I bought a pineapple before you as a gift. And I didn't have time to bring it in.

So I just left it on your porch and we're dying laughing about it. Ha, ha. Floated the idea to my girlfriend. She's like, no, no. I mean, those two fuckers are probably to fuck each other's girlfriends. That makes complete sense.

Cracked the case because you know what? I don't care what's going on with the general public. We here at I've had it can deduce these things. Well, to be fair, I really can't. I mean, I knew it was a swing or thing, but I would have not guessed the two to... I knew the guy wanted to swing with them, the friend, because that was too elaborate and too stupid. The collusion's a great one. They colluded. Makes a lot of sense. Because he's not that stupid to buy the whole story. That, oh, we bought you a pineapple, but we let it have time to bring it in.

She was too tired to bring it in. It's just like, first of all, who goes in and buys another person a pineapple, male to male? A swinger. Well, right. It's a swing thing for sure. I like the collusion, though. I like the way you think.

They're colluding. You can see back when I was a swinger. That's how you did it. That's what we did. I like how he says, we ruled out all the swingers with that's how you did it. That's what we did. I like how he says, we ruled out all the swingers with kids. I think all the swingers we know, at least 90% all have kids.

Yes, so swingers have kids. Yes, swingers have. It's not a childless endeavor. I think it's more so. I do too. I think people get bored. Yeah. Yeah. All of the swingers that I've rumored swingers, all of them had kids.

Yeah, I can only think of one. All of your clients that are swingers, kids, right? All calf kids. Kylie, do lesbian swing? I'm sure they do. Probably. Yeah. I think my generation, it's just there's a shit ton of open relationships. Yeah, it's what you're having it swinging.

Yeah, they're just all open. You just check up with other people. They have boyfriend, girlfriend, wives, husbands you're having it swinging. Yeah, they're just all open. You just took up with other people. They have boyfriend's, girlfriend's, wives, husbands all at the same time. Paulie Amory, exactly. Look at you. Yeah, you know why? Because your generation wasn't raised like that one woman.

That poor little girl. Yeah, who is raising her daughter to serve her husband. Serve her husband. Yeah. Because that's the only thing that can bring her joy. Right, the only thing I've had it, had it with that. I have had it with all of these news stories. I kinda dig the swingers in there.

It's good. And the plumber. The plumber, I like the plumber. Yeah. Because we got love. I'm just gonna call it love. He loves the plumber. Yeah, I agree.

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