I've Had It - Purity Culture Club

Episode Date: January 24, 2023

Jennifer, Pumps and special guest Kate Casey take a deep dive into the abstinence movement, including purity rings and born-again virginity.  Meanwhile, Jennifer is offended by the terrible architecture of mega churches. Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps Special Guest:  @katecaseyca

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As if the Macchrispy couldn't get any better, Bacon and Ranch just entered the chat. The Bacon Ranch Macchrispy, available at participating with Donald's for a limited time. Ba da ba ba ba. times. What not what minstifies me is do you feel it? Now obviously I didn't feel it. Yeah. If you could see it and I didn't notice it. What have you had it with this week? Oh my gosh. This is like you're gonna love this. Women that baby talk. It's unbelievable when adult women baby talk. It is. I mean like if you're like googly goo with a child or pet, that's fine. I'm talking like, grown-ass women.

Oh, pookie, punky bear, will you get me another cocktail? And I'm just like, what the fuck is wrong with you? I mean, it's bizarro. Have you not? No, it is. I had a girl that worked for me a long time ago, and she would talk to her husband like, an abnormal amount of times during the day. Would be in the middle of a meeting.

And she would be speaking normally than all of a sudden it would be like, Oh, hi. Yeah, I'm just sending, making copies. Yeah, and then I'm gonna send an email. And I'm like, why are you talking like that? Why are you talking like that? You live together, and he's an adult.

I don't even care if they live together. No one should baby talk as a grown-up. Had it, with baby talked. Women are the worst offenders, for sure. Yeah, no, I mean, I think that you can get some men, little titty baby men, that do some baby talking. Like to their wives, like, oh, will you bring me another beer, please?

Little titty babies. I don't think I've ever encountered a baby talking male. I'll be on the lookout though. I know, I think that if the listeners know of any, I want that DM to us. I want that DM to us. We need some data. Name, age, contact information.

Yes. Instagram handle. Yes. What have you had it with, Ms. Welch? I have had it up to my eyeballs with mega churches. Which part, right out of the gates, let me just tell you, the architecture is terrible. Yeah, I mean, it is awful architecture. It's usually kind of more moderny

trying to go for a modern feel. It's bad. Okay, modern has a feel that like maybe it's, you know, Frank Lloyd Wright or something. This architecture of these mega churches is awful. That's right out of the gates what I've had it with. Okay, can I just have a long list? Okay, but let me just ask you one quick thing.

Okay. How many mega churches have you actually been in? I've been in a couple. Really? So you know, I was in? I've been in a couple, really. So you know, I was raised, I was born in Dallas, moved to Oklahoma City when I was around seven. And so I went to school in the suburban Oklahoma City area and a lot of the kids

that I went to school with were big time mega churches, right? Right. So I didn't go to church. My family's not religious. And I remember when I was like probably in junior high this girls on my cheerleading squad are like have you ever been saved? And I'm like from what? And they're like have you ever accepted Jesus as your Lord impersonal savior? And I'm like no, and they're like you need to or you're gonna go to hell. You know, I race home, tell my mother my mother's like oh

that's ridiculous, whatever. And so I go to church to a mega home till my mother. My mother's like, oh, that's ridiculous, whatever. And so I go to church to a mega church with my friend. And I'll never forget it. We're driving her mom worked at UPS. She's like a middle class family, right? And she had a cup in the car full of coins. And then she had a $20 bill in the dashboard. We went to 7-Eleven. And she was like, girls, please put like $5 or $10 of gasoline in the car full of coins and then she had a $20 bill in the dashboard. We went to 7-11

and she was like, girls, please put like $5 or $10 of gasoline in the car and we pumped it. And so then I went to get the 20 and she goes, no, you'll need to take the change inside to pay for it with the change because the 20 is for the church. And let me tell you how big this church was. And this is on my list too. It was massive. It's got a light show. It's got a dunk tank. It's got a rock band. It's got a cheerleading squad. I had never been. I mean, it was unbelievable. I had architecture, apparently. Awful architecture. So here's my friend, whose mom works at UPS, who's like, we're literally counting dimes to pay for gasoline, but the church gets the 20.

This preacher lives in this huge mansion, right? His wife comes waltzing in to the congregation with this mean coat on, and I immediately knew, at 13, that that was a racket. I mean, I immediately knew. Wasn't it subsequently busted as a racket? Well, aren't they all? I mean, I think knew. Wasn't it subsequently busted as a racket? Well, aren't they all? I mean, I think it was that Joel Olstein

that some plumber was doing some work at that mega church down in Houston and they found all these envelopes stuck with cash in the wall. Oh, I didn't know that. Yes. And he's the same asshole that when they had that big hurricane in Houston that he wouldn't let people come shelter

in his massive mega church. Mind you, he has like two or three PJs. No. Private jets. Yes, and here's the deal. If you are that loaded, okay. And you don't get paid taxes on your church. Higher a good architect, right?

So have you been in the one that you drive by on Pickleball, Have you ever been inside? No. Okay, but then how do you know it's not fabulous inside? I mean, I've never been in either, so I can't argue it either way. So are you making that that maybe don't judge a book by its cover? Well, I mean, maybe. I don't know. I'm just going to tell you. I'm going to take a wild stab at it, based on the outside. I bet it's a disaster on this. There's no doubt. There is no doubt. It is so, the architecture is so bad and I have had it. I mean, had it. Had it. But I think we have something really fun that we need to share with our listener. Okay, lay it on me. We have an addition to Nilly and Jen and Richard. We have a new producer

that has joined us. Who we love. She's the best, best, best. Kylie. Kylie say hi to our listeners. Hello, listeners. You can tell she's really excited. Yes. I think we might be more excited than she is. Yes. No, they can't see, but I just peed in my pants. That's how excited. So she's joining Jenn and Neely, and she is, are you on the cusp of like Gen Z Millennial? I'm Millennial. You're a Millennial? Neely's a Millennial.

Would you and I are Gen X, Gen X, Richard, what are you? I'm a Millennial. How old are you, Richard? 35. Oh, okay, I guess so. We don't have a Gen Z or? we don't have a Jensier. We don't have a Jensier. You know, pumps is on the cusp of,

I'm not on the cusp of being a baby boomer. I am not. That is why. I am much younger than you. Four years is not that much younger. Four years is nothing. I wanna welcome everybody to our podcast. I've had it.

I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. AKA Pumps. Pumps. And today we are going to talk about something that we have absolutely had it with. And it is the abstinence only culture, which we think is a recipe for failure.

It's a recipe for grandchildren too soon and born again versions. What's that recipe for grandchildren too soon and born again versions. Once that cherries popped, it's popped. No, going back and purity rings. Yeah, I've been around some purity rings in my day. I've never had one, but I know people that do that have purity rings. Well, that have given them to their kids. The parents give them to the kids. Yes, you don't think the kids are buying them, do you?

I just think that is so. It's just an extra layer of guilt, I think. A total extra layer of guilt, because here's what really gets a micraw about this, okay? We are genetically hardwired to reproduce. It is literally in our genes, our DNA, as a species. We eat, we sleep, we screw. Okay, it is in our DNA. And then you have this part of culture that wants to suppress something that is literally, you're genetically encoded to do, right? Which is to reproduce. So then you have all this crap that comes out.

You've got porn addicts, shame, men with Madonna complex. Yes. And you know what they turn out to be. Three things. What? A quick shot. Quick shot. A soft serve.

A soft serve. Or a gyrator. All three, not good. None of them are good. None are good. None. None. You think that's mommy complex or just bad sex? Probably she didn't need to do some independent research on what causes soft serve. Maybe we should bring our guests on. And yes, I am so envious of our guests because she has the best job in the world. She watches television, all types of television, reality, scripted, and documentaries, true crime. And then she has a podcast two to three times a week. And she has the producers of the podcast on the directors. She gets

to the deep dark bottom of it. She also is a contributor at us Weekly. And so without further ado, let's welcome our guest, the host of Reality Life with Kate Casey. Kate Casey. Hi Kate. Hi. Hi. Thank you so much for being here. The hat it that is firing you guys up this week, what is it?

So the born again versions, the purity rings and the abstinence only concept, which I think is just a recipe for complete failure. And five kids. Well, clearly, I'm not doing the purity thing. I think it's gross. I think it's weird controlling fathers that perpetuate this myth that you're going to have everlasting happiness if you wait until you get married, which might work for some, but a very small percentage of the world. And this whole idea of like giving them a ring and you're like married to your dad is super creepy and weird. It is. And then all the celebrities that have over the years partaked in this,

like the Jonas Brothers, they did this whole thing purity. And you know that they're just mortified about that now. And then I remember Jessica Simpson when she was engaged to Nick Lysche when she was on the newlyweds, there was a whole story was she's saving herself to mirage. What's gross about that is that she had this big

celebrity wedding and you can just imagine all the people that were like, she's gonna do it tonight. I don't think anybody should know you're about to do it for the first time. Agreed. Agreed. Agreed.

And plus, it's like buying a car. Would you buy a car without test driving it? No. No. Would you marry someone that you hadn't had sex with? No. What if they're terrible? What if they're a quick shot, a gyrator,

all the many pitfalls at Bad Sack? Well, one thing that I think we need to talk about, and I know you've covered this on your podcast, and it is the abstinence-only culture at Liberty University. And as everybody knows, Jerry Falwell Jr. was the president of Liberty University. And these students, they let me read to you guys some of the rules. No sex, no kissing, three second

maximum on hugs. They charge, they charge any student who spends the night with opposite sex with 30 reprimands. Even couples who are not talking or touching can be reprimanded for quote, optical intercourse. What or making eye babies. And that's written down somewhere in their bylaws or something. Spoiler alert, Jerry Fowell Jr. had optical intercourse when he watched his wife get plowed by the pool boy repeatedly. Yes. Like he liked to watch. It was kind of creepy that documentary. Yes. Okay. Why don't you tell us. I know that you covered that on your podcast, but did you find out any juicy scope about that? Yes, because I interviewed the director, Billy Corpin, who's absolutely hilarious and won to follow on social media.

He got an incoming email, he had his partner from one carlo who was the pool boy, right? Who said, I'm ready to tell my story. So they set out to tell this crazy story and it is absolutely frustrating. It's hypocrisy personified. And yeah, he was president of the school. He was absolutely a drinker.

So they're not allowed to drink, they're not allowed to sex. He's a complete alcoholic. They were so controlling over the population, the students telling them how to behave, and especially when it came to sexuality. And meanwhile, they're having this very strange relationship with a young pool boy in Miami. So that's weird, but it also reminds me of all the people I knew who went to super religious schools. Like there was this one in Pennsylvania called

Messiah College. And they had this weird rule that if you had somebody in your room, the door always had to be open to a certain degree. And there had to be lights on and one foot on the floor at all times. As if you can't bone somebody with one foot on the floor. That's just making different sexual positions. Pam, why don't you tell Kate about your own personal research on young Mormon sex? Okay Jennifer didn't think okay. She thought I was lying when I told her this. There is a thing that the Mormons do called soaking and that's where the male puts his penis

in the vagina but they don't move. They just soak and then if they get it on a bunk bed, they have something, like they get on the top and the person at the bunk underneath starts like hitting the moving, moving the bed. Moving the bed. So there's friction there, but technically they're not having sex because they're not thrusting. And it's called soaking. It's real. I so I googled it. It is real. And they actually do have the other person in the room that shakes the bed and Kylie and I found some stuff on TikTok about it. So there's like the Mormon fluffer that Fluffs the bed which I think is far more kinky and far more

egregious than Sally and Willie that have been dating for a year and just can't keep their hands off of each other and try to decide to take it over the finish line. So these Mormon teens and some of them are even having butt sacks, which I think is far more egregious. Far worse.

Yeah, wow. Legically from my kids, which I almost think they're not telling the truth because they know my reaction is so horrified, but that like younger girls are preferring just to have assets so they can have be technically a virgin. So let me ask you this on the purity rings.

If you have the purity ring, is it just vaginal intercourse? Or is there like a... Or is there like a daddy talk to you about other stuff that are you not supposed to do anything? I would imagine that you can't do anything, but I think that like the soaking situation, there's always a loophole that you can kind of get So listen to this Jen Morton our producer was telling me she's heard of this this called a hymenoplasty, okay? Oh.

So they laser the vizine. So somebody like from the Middle East or somebody here who wants to be a born again virgin, they laser the vizine back. So you've already had sex, your hymen's broken, but you don't want anybody to know. So you go to the vizine doctor, you get the vizine kind of laser together,

so that on your wedding night, penis centers, blood flows, everybody thinks you're a virgin. Okay, this is a real surgery. You've got to be kidding me. Hymenoplasty. Isn't it true that like 50% of the people that don't have sex don't have a hymen?

I mean, it's not like it's 100% of the time. You can lose it exercising all sorts of things. Why wouldn't you just say, I'd break it exercising not like it's 100% of the time. You can't lose it exercising. Right, there's a million things. Why wouldn't you just say, I broke it exercising, or I don't know, a tampon? No, it's a big deal in Middle Eastern cultures. I mean, like they go to look to make sure that there is blood on the sheets.

So, I mean, who goes and looks? The people that... Fairly? Yes. Oh my god. That's a problem. I am just imagining my own weird parents partaking. They would be such weirdos about it. And this is already a weird situation. Oh, it's awful. So let's move on to, I want to talk about celebrities that are born

again, virgins. Okay, what's a born again again virgin? So it means you've already had sex with either being then in history. It's reinventing history. Right. We'll accommodate the life paint plan that you decided that you wanted to have after you made the mistake of having sex already. One could call it revisionist history.

Right. Yes. Yes. So Kylie and I looked up the definition on urban dictionary for born again virgin and it is somebody who has not had sex in over a year, which I think might qualify you, pumps. Oh, congratulations. Yes, thank you. Okay, wait, hold on. I do on this topic of the Born Again Virgin, that's why I wanted to know, I've had an experience with a parent

that told me that they prayed her daughter's virginity back. No, no, no, she said it out loud, out loud to other people. So let me get this straight, right. Daughter, pop's cherry. Correct. Have sex. Remarital mom and dad matter than a hornet. So upset. Drop to their knees. Yes. Restore virginity. Correct.

And then she said that to you out loud. Right. She did not say it to me, but she said it to several people that reported it to me. Trustee sources, people that would not make this shit up. And it's like there was no self-awareness that that sounded crazy. First of all, why are you talking about your daughter's sex habits? Here's the problem. That's a huge problem.

Here's the problem with the abstinence-only stuff. Other than children? Yes, other than children is number... I think there's deep psychological issues residue from that. If it's don't have sex, you don't have sex, you can't have sex, you have to keep yourself clean, you have to keep yourself pure. Well then little Sally starts dating little Willie and let's hope for little Sally's sake, it's big Willie. But nonetheless, they've been dating for a year or two and they're 19, 20 and of course they're going to want to screw right of course they are. But then she does and then she feels dirty and then you have this lifetime issue and I think the data shows that people abstinence only education where you don't know how to use contraceptions, yet you're gonna have more unwanted pregnancies, you're gonna have more STDs,

you're not gonna be wrapping it before you tap it. I mean, there's just a lot of problems with not teaching kids how to have sex. I agree. Yeah, because they're gonna have it. These parents being so involved in it, that creeps me out. Have the conversations where you're like,

this is what sex means, this is what it's like, this is why you wanna save yourself or as long as you can and be with the right person. But like being that much involved is super creepy. Right, especially with the purity rings. It's really creepy. I mean, with my kids, I have a son that's 20, and it's just like as a mother to a male,

I'm like, you are responsible for where you deposit that. Don't put it on her. Right. And always know that for women sex is a little bit more emotional. Right. It feels differently. It has a different take on it and always go at a woman's pace. But be vigilant in protecting her from pregnancy. Other than that, it's just not my business. Right. It just isn't. And I think you have. That's what I don't like about the ring too.

It's like inserting yourself literally into a conversation that is absolutely none of your business. Right. But I want to go back to this. The dad gives it to the daughter. Yeah, he gives her a ring. And it's like, I'm, you're making a promise to me that you will save yourself until marriage. It's like,

she's like, she's marrying her dad in a way. I, and I think mothers give them too. But also, I read that men, some boys, they give them to boys too, which I think always it falls on the female. So, but a guy with a purity ring, that to me just screams gay. I just think it's like, why are you inserting his appearance? You're like your control over your child's sexuality. Like they need to explore that and figure that out on their own, whether they're gay, straight, bisexual, whatever. Like it's not about you. It's about them and their own experience. Much like I don't want anybody to talk,

insert themselves in the conversation about what I do. Right, right. It is no one's business. But I do, I mean, I've even been in situations where other mothers are talking about the sex lives of kids that aren't even theirs, like speculating as to who the high school kids are sleeping with.

And I'm like, that right there tells me you are horrendous. Totally. You're just not even a good person. Like why do you give a shit? Growing adults that are consumed with teenagers who are pumping with hormones, who are consumed with their sex lives. It's just more than I can take. It's more than I can take. Yes, it is. But what I do want to talk

about with UK, because you are the pop culture expert with all of this reality TV you watch. I want to talk about some celebrities who have taken the purity pledge or the pledge to be born again, virgins. So one of the Jonas brothers, he said, his name was Kevin Jonas. He waited until marriage to have sex. And then after he had sex, he said, sex wasn't really worth the wait. That sounds like a very bad endorsement of his sex skills. He meets this girl on a like the Disney vacation. I think it was like a cruise. His family, her family, same cruise ship, and they kept in touch and they got married really young.

So this whole idea of like, well, we were saving ourselves for a marriage. I'm like, you didn't even save yourself for college. Like, you just like, it's not like you were waiting that long. I do know in Oklahoma, like when people get married, like when you hear of like a 19 or 20 year old getting married, always am like, oh my god, they're getting married to have sex, which sounds like the jauness deal, which I'm like, you don't

have to get married to have sex. Right. I mean, don't marry the first tom dick in Harry that you want to have sex. Well, do you remember, you all remember when Sarah Palin was the vice presidential, how could you forget when she was the vice presidential candidate? And she had those five kids like trig and leaf and branch and grass. Right. You remember all those kids. Yeah.

And so she was all about abstinence only education, right? Well, I mean, her kids all start getting knocked up. I mean, every single one of them. And then those daggers, you know, well, I know about them. That's a whole nether thing. Right. But I mean, look at how that turns out. You got 95. But that's another, that's another dad who had inserted himself in his child sexuality. Exactly. Was so controlling to the point where you're going to go on your first date,

and I'm tagging along. Like, why are you involved in their dating and their sexual? Then you think about anybody in one of these families that is not straight, what that must feel like for them. They're like the pressure of like, I wanna be out and be who I really am. And I've added pressure of a parent that like is wedging me into a sexuality

that does not fit for me. And you're tagging along and telling me what, it's like it's too much control. It's just it's so upsetting. How is somebody supposed to have like an interpersonal intimate relationship with someone? They're not allowed to see outside of being with their parents? Well, I mean, I guess they could have optical intercourse.

Optical intercourse. I mean, I, I babies is like, I gotta remember that one. I babies. So here's a good one Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon dated so they decided that they were gonna abstain until marriage and Then now he has 12 children with six different women. So this is anecdotal evidence nonetheless But anecdotal evidence that this born again virgin bullshit is just that. It is such bullshit because here's my thing too. So you popped your cherry.

You've done it. You've had sex. Okay. And then you're trucking along your 30 something. Your Mariah Carey. Right. I mean, like that Christmas song alone, can you imagine what the interest on that thing is?

Right. Right. Seven million dollars a year, I've looked it out. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So you're Mariah Carey. Mariah Carey's, I mean, she's sexy. She can, you know, right. Why on earth, if you're in a relationship with somebody as a grown-ass woman, are you not screwing them? Right. I mean, seriously, like we own, and especially at the beginning, like that's the best sex. That beginning, like, that's the best. That's the right.

That's the best sucks. And then you hopped, I was pwn it, and then you've got Nick Cannon, the two-pump chomp. I mean, and you know, I mean, no wonder this, you know, Kevin Jonas said it wasn't that great. You know it was like horrible. The soak, the quick shot, and it was over. And he was like, he probably didn't learn to enjoy sex until much later. Well, hopefully he did learn. Right.

On the job training, it sounds like that. So Kate, I always think when somebody has a lot of kids, I think why on earth do they have so many kids? And you have fun. Because for my first instinct, it's always like a recoil. Do you get that to people? People ask me if I'm Mormon or Catholic,

I tell them I'm an Episcopalian baby hoarder. I'm just a fixed year in the world. Having a lot of kids means I do less work because they all play together. The older ones babysit, they do work for me. And also no one asked me to do anything because they think I'm too busy. I've never helped out at the school. That's nice.

Show up, drop off and leave. They're like, oh, she's too busy and like, you're damn right, I am. Yes. And it's funny because when I have the babies, I like love labor. I'm not a normal person. I show up to the hospital. I'm like, what's up, what's up? Stop it. You love it. I love it. Because it's fun. It's so fun. I have the last baby I had a sign in the back that said pray for my vagina. And then I had 10 friends in the room. And all the nurses come in and they're like, what's going

it? Because there's so much downtime. It's boring. Do you have an epidermal? Yeah, it's boring. So then my friends bring in champagne. Somebody brings in food. We just laugh the whole time.

You're probably the first person I've ever met that likes labor. Didn't say like. Oh, I love it. Love, loves, loves labor. Well, Kate, I cannot thank you enough. Aloha, thank you. Thank you.

Ohana, remember that movie, Lila, and Sitch, Ohana? Yes, means family. Oh, yeah. Have so much fun. Thank and such? Ohana? Yes. Means family. Have so much fun. Have a great vacation. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Bye. Okay. Bye. She's great. She's not great. What about the loving, giving birth? Never heard that ever in my entire life. I haven't either.

That's interesting, isn't it? We don't have to, like, circle back around. Well, but what about a, what are they called? What is Kim? What are they called? I can't believe it. Surrogate. Surrogates. They've got to love it. Yeah. Or you would kind of toyed with you said that you wouldn't mind being a surrogate. No, I wouldn't. I should have kept my uterus. Been like a famous person's surrogate because I was a great pregnant person had no problems. I should have done that. I would have been good at it because I certainly wouldn't want to take had no problems. I should have done that. I would have been good at it.

Because I certainly wouldn't wanna take the baby home. What if it was your egg? I don't think I'd care. You just give that egg up. Yeah. I mean, if somebody else is kid, if no, you're egg. No, I know, but I mean, like, if it was like,

we decided beforehand, like they were gonna use my egg. Like a gay friend sperm. A gay friend sperm, I would not care. You wouldn't want to see what that baby was doing? Probably not. I mean, assuming I had my three kids. Right. Yeah, no, I'd be good with that.

Okay. Would you not? No. I would want, I would feel very possessive about my offspring. You would? Yeah, very. Even if it wasn't Josh's, if you did it knowing going in, you were going to give it to somebody else. 100% if it was mine. Yeah, whoever the males was wouldn't matter. But if I,

if it's my egg, I carried it to term. I want that, I would want that baby. Yeah, I don't think I would. You just give that baby. Yeah, I would have to be somebody that I really thought would be a good parent that would love the baby and be devoted to the baby. I wouldn't just like sell it on eBay or anything. Well, you know, I mean, I would make sure I knew the people, but I could detach. I've had a podcast where we sell babies on eBay. Follow us at I've had it podcast on Instagram, TikTok, and the really important thing we want you to send a voice memo to at I've had it podcast on Instagram. So follow us, go to message, and then you'll see a little microphone at the bottom. And you push the

microphone down and send us what you've had it with. And then pumps is going to read that out loud on a bonus content episode. And we're gonna go off on this topic and see if we agree, disagree. What do you think about that, pumps? I love it, but you know, we did a whole episode on how I hated voice mimos. Now we're telling people to do them.

Right, see, we kind of gaslight our audience. We say this is a podcast about positivity. Right. It's not. Right. But it is a podcast about positivity. We hate voice memos. Send us a voice memo. All right, tell the people when we're going to see them. See you next Tuesday. See you next Tuesday, everyone. Bye. I'm happy with that. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy with that. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy.

I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy.

I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy.

I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy.