I've Had It - Raw Doggin in Florida

Episode Date: August 29, 2023

Jennifer and Pumps are raw doggin it solo today. Pumps has had it with delivery truck drivers blocking everybody in and Jennifer has had it with conveyor belt hogs at the airport. We play some hilarious listener voice memos - one submission in particular makes it into the I’ve Had It hall of fame. Come see I've Had It live on the Hot Sh*t Tour! More info & tickets available at https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Thank you to our sponsors: SimpliSafe: Get a special 20% off any SimpliSafe system when you sign up for Fast Protect Monitoring. This huge offer is for a limited time only. So visit SimpliSafe.com/HADIT - There’s no safe like SimpliSafe. Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first order when you use promo code HADIT at bollandbranch.com Oak Essentials: Get 15% off @OakEssentials with the code hadit at oakessentials.com. #oakessentialspartner Honey Love: Get 20% OFF @honeylove by going to honeylove.com/HadIt! #honeylovepod Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

So we're supposed to start the podcast. One, two, three. I didn't look and it does better. You do a million times better. If I don't look, I've been trying not to look. I know. On the, on the, that. What did he have it with?

Okay, I've just fucking had it. And I know this just goes back to the old days. But I've just had it with people that can't park. It's not that hard. There are two lines, like they're bright colored lines. This is where your car goes. Your ass of your car should not be in somebody else's line. The front of your car should not be on someone else's line.

Or the horrible, horrible shitty parkers that just take up two parking places. I've had it with that. And then two times last week this happened to me and I was just like, that is my, I've had it. I was sitting in my car in a parking lot and a delivery van driver had stopped with the hazards on to make a delivery and blocked my car in. I don't understand. Listen, I'm sorry for that hurt my ears too. Was that a screech? It was a total. I was so mad and I I bowed him. I gave him the dirty eye all the way out and the more I gave him the dirty eye, the slower he got. And I had to wait for him to get his fat ass in the truck,

stuck with his phone, put his seat belt on, and have a cup of gulp, so coffee, before he moved his van. I think that's bullshit right there. I've had it. So I've had this happens to me all the time. It's either at my office, which they could clearly pull into a parking spot. Right. Plenty deep at the front of my office. But he or she, the delivery, pulls right up and blocks four parking spaces. So then I am waiting to park in a building that I own. Right. And parking space that I own. and sometimes it's 15 to 20 minutes and Finally, I have to get out of the car and I'm like I have a meeting I need to get into this parking space like I need for you to move the delivery truck And there's so many other places wherein they could stall like if he just went 20 feet further

It wouldn't block anybody if he turned in it wouldn't block anybody. Same thing oftentimes when I go home to my house. Instead of pulling directly in front of the house, where it's not blocking a driveway, the truck intentionally is parked in front of the driveway. All you have to do is go 15 to 20 more feet and it's not blocking anybody whatsoever so I don't know what this is about. Here's what I what this is about.

Here's what I think it's about. I think that it's easier for the delivery driver when they make a delivery just to block cars and pop into the store facing, the front facing part of the store versus to park and walk, you know, park, get out of the car, walk it in, then get back, pull out of the parking place. But I don't think they realize, like, they're doing that 50 times a day and that means they're blocking four cars in their spots all day long. The situation is this. You're talking about literally 10 to 15 more steps if they pulled to a space where it hindered anyone.

And the example of my front yard literally, it's just a delivery truck length further more. So many times I've been coming home and there's a UPS track or a FedEx track or an Amazon track right there blocking the driveway. And I just think to myself, if you just would have taken it over the finish line, and just maybe not pressed so hard on the break. That's the smallest distance possible than this driveway would be completely accessible. Right, but you're waiting on the delivery person

all the time. I had one time, I had to go in and get my phone fixed. And when I came out, there was a guy, it was a FedEx, I'll never forget it. He had blocked four of us in. And we couldn't get out and he is in there yucky-acking, it's about two years ago. And I, I, I did go right up to him and I said, I have no idea why you think it's appropriate to block all these

cars in when you're dropping something off. How does play out? Oh, let me just tell you how play out. He looked at me like, go fuck yourself. You ugly, ass old woman. That's exactly what it looked like. But I felt better. But no, he didn't, he didn't hurry. And it was hard. It wasn't absolutely. No, he blocked everybody in, didn't give a fuck and was yuk-yuking about his phone. Like, I'm not even sure he had a delivery. He might have had a phone issue. Oh. And he's in there. They're using these, these delivery trucks, almost like a cop can block with a cop car. Right, like a personal vehicle.

They're giving the delivery truck too much power. Total too much power. It doesn't have a siren. No, it's not an ambulance. It's not saving lives. It's not a fire truck. Although sometimes the same as it might be saving my life. It depends.

It could be, but there's just so many fixes for this problem. Right. The blocking problem. Well, I put the side of the building, parking a parking lot, parking a park, like two, I don't care if like a big delivery truck takes two parking places, like at the back of a parking lot, swing for the fences. But when you're the first parking row and you're blocking people in, that's just horseshit. It is because I mean so many of us are so busy and if you get stuck 10 to 15 minutes, it makes me late and if I'm going to a hairdresser, then they're late.

His whole day late for the next appointment, the next appointment. It's this whole domino effect and it's just chaos with the delivery drivers. Do you think it's arrogance or self-awareness, lack of self-awareness on the delivery truck driver? I think it's neither. I think it's like I'm delivering, I'm pulling up, and we're all just such, you know, savage animals about wanting our shit delivered to us. We're a part of the problem in this. There's a note, you know,

I mean, we can sit here and rag on the delivery drivers all day, but we're a huge part of the problem. Because continue all these deliveries non stop and, you know, their trucks are loaded. Completely loaded. They have a finite amount of time to get it all done. And they're just probably like it's 125 million degrees because nobody knows you anything about the climate. And so these guys are just trying to make some money. And so I don't know that it's a power trip, or I think it's just like, all these bitches are ordering all this shit. I'm trying to hustle and get all this shit done so I can get home and maybe play a video game

or watch a movie. And I don't know that it's intentional or nefarious. I just think we're a part of the problem. If I was a delivery driver, full disclosure, I might do the same. If I was a delivery driver, I would just probably throw it out the windows. I've passed by. I just read pass and buy. Like, here's your box.

So let me tell you what I've had it with. What have you had it with? So I just got back from the airport yesterday. And there's problem this huge. And it is conveyor belt hogs. So what happens is you go and you pick your purse in your suitcase on one side of the TSA, conveyor belt, and it goes through the X-ray machine.

You go through the personal X-ray machine, and make sure you don't have a gun or whatever on you. And then you get out the other side, and you always got one person that is right there at the very beginning of the conveyor belt. And that person is grabbing their stuff instead of letting all of the stuff go down and sliding their bin all the way to the end. They're putting their shoes on right there. Oh my god. Yes. They're putting their laptops back in their bag. They're putting their belts on. They're organizing their purses. Yes. Putting their ID back in their bag. They're putting their belts on. They're organizing their purses.

Yes, putting their ID back in their wallet. And then I'm just like, my stuff is right there. If you would literally, maybe it's like the delivery truck drivers. If you would move five feet down, I would grab my shit and do all of this. Yes, not in the conveyor belt line. There's no excuse for it. They have an area of chairs where you can go put your shoes on, but they stand there hog the whole space

and redo their purses, put their shoes on, put their belt hog. It's a conveyor belt hog. conveyor belt hogs are the worst. It's a massive problem. It's a huge, well, I'm surprised TSA with all their power doesn't move them along. Here's the thing that gets me. TSA screams at the top of their lungs on the entry.

Right. They're dropping the ball on the exit. Absolutely. I completely agree. They need screaming on the exit. They need someone on the other side grabbing those trays and just sliding all the way down, just like they do with us, when we put them on,

they start bossing you around before you get to the X, right? It's chaos after the X, right? They just kind of let it get. They drop the ball, they quit being bossy, they quit screaming at us. That's true. And it's like, if you're going to be that big of a nut, be that nut through the whole experience because the fuckery happening on the other side of the X-ray machine is insufferable. And standing there watching some person that you know has traveled a lot,

acting like it's their maiden voyage in an airport. They all do that, that fumbling around the machine, getting all their personal shit together, sitting grab in the fucking tray, walking all the way down to the end, getting your shit away from everybody else. And so I've had it. I mean, the airport had it or just you could start today and do an airport had it five times a day.

And I don't think you would finish in a year. This is what gets me is, you know, sometimes people on social media will say about us. They're just so negative. They're just so, you know, they're so negative and blah, blah, blah. And it's like, okay, here's the deal. You, with all of your positivity. Positiveity. It's amazing that you can wake up in the morning, take a commercial flight,

you know, go to the grocery store, park your car, do all of these things without ever getting irritated. We cannot. We cannot. And I just find it hard to believe that really anybody can. It's not sustainable. And all I recommend for these people is if you can actually go through the airport and never get irritated with another human being not one time, bottle that shit up and sell it. That's what I was just going to say because I will buy it. These are the people that the minute the minute somebody just slightly scratches something that might mildly offend them, it's a stage five meltdown. Right. Throw yourself down on the floor and cry like a baby. Yes. No, I'm sorry. I've had it. We're in a great mood today. Right, shiny today. As always. We're in a great mood. I'm Jennifer.

I'm Angie. There's just no question. She's the star of the show. But the rising star of the show is Kylie. Kylie, our little sensation. Hello. How's it going? It's going good. Do you have anything for us? I have a bunch of voice memos.

Excellent. Oh, great. Let's start there. Hang on real quick, Richard. Yes, ma'am. You there? Yeah. Are you in a good mood after hearing all that? You guys make perfect sense every time. Thank you. You guys are always in a good mood. Richard, always is in a good

maid. Even positive Richard is proof that we are surrounded by nothing short of enablers. Pumps, if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, I feel safer. America feels safer. Our listeners feel safer. Ever since you installed that simply safe monitoring program at your house on the suburbs? Yes, I absolutely love it. I do feel more safe and comfortable when I'm at home by myself. I know.

You're almost an empty nester. Your youngest one is always out and about, and I particularly feel a lot better knowing that 24-7365, a live guard protection is made possible by the new Smart Alarm Wireless Indoor Camera, and is available with the Fast Protect Monitoring Program. Listener, you know that this podcast has got to keep pump secure and simply safe. Our partner has secured the star of our show.

Right now, I've had it listeners get a special 20% off any simply safe system when you sign up for fast protect monitoring. This huge offer is for a limited time only. So visit simplysafe.com slash had it. That's simply safe.com slash had it. There's no safe like simply safe. Listener and Pamps, I think it's super important to make certain investments in your life. And one of those things that I value is a fantastic bedding sheet. It's so important.

Thank God we have discovered bull and branch. I mean I always go to bed early. I get off my phone early so I can have high quality sleep. But if my sheets are off, screws everything up. My sleep is off. Yeah. Bull and branch when you get in those sheets, it feels like you are slipping into five star hotel quality sheets and they're affordable. They're so soft and feel like better on your skin. Sleep better at night with Bowling Branch Sheets. Get 15% off your first order when you use promo code hadit at BowlingBranch.com.

That's Bowling Branch, B-O-L-L-A-N-D branch.com. promo code hadit. ExclusionSupply.com.com.com. See site for details. All right, Kylie, who is our first contestant on this game show of ours? I've had it. First, we've got Pressley. Okay. Hi, Plumpson, Jennifer. I am absolutely obsessed with your podcast, but I'm just going to hop right into my latest. I've had it and something I've had it with absolutely had it with is when people defend bad behavior, especially bad behavior of grownass adults. Let's cut the shit. If someone's a bitch, let's just say it. Like, let's not defend them and be like, oh, that's just so-and-so. Like, that's just how they act. No, so-and-so

is just a bitch. And let's face it, like, no more defending them. Anyway, that's my latest, I've had it. Love you ladies. Love, love Presley. Presley's great. Speaking of enabling. Speaking of enabling. No, but Presley's on to something. Like the people that are shitty and bitchy and the people are like, oh, that's not real.

How she really is, she has a good heart. This is what I say to you when people tell me they went into your Walmart or a restaurant. I say she's really got a good heart. This is what I say to you when people tell me they went into your Walmart or a restaurant. I say she's really got a good heart. She's really not a Karen. No, but I mean, I just, I hate that. If somebody's a bitch to say they're bitch, I don't know why. I think there's this whole thing in life where we think everybody has to like everybody.

That's not true. You don't have to like everybody. You have to be cordial and polite and work with people that you don't like, but you don't have to think, oh my god, they're the best or oh my gosh, they're so great. You can just be like, I don't like them. I think they're bitchy, but does that mean I'm going to be shitty to them or not have a professional relationship with them? No. It just means there's shitty person, in my opinion. And what I found that if the shitty people think I'm shitty, I like the shitty person better.

Same, but because if I have a shitty person that likes me, then I think, what the fuck is wrong with you? I like, I'm just attracted to more cynical people. Right, like there are people whose entire lives have been just straight down the fairway. Right, they haven't had problems or they've had problems and they have an incredible ability

to have like chronic denial. Right. And they just absolutely don't deal with them. I like a friend that's a little weathered. Right. I like a friend that's weathered a storm that has more depth. But what Presley's talking about is Where people make excuses for just people being complete asshole. Right shitty. Yeah, but I will say this if somebody's consistently shitty

Then you have a lot of corroborating evidence that that person is a shitty person But sometimes you're having a shitty day. Agreed, that's the exception. You're having a shitty day and you just kind of had it with everyone. And the next day you reset. So I think there can be situationally shitty people. Absolutely. And I don't think just because you're shitty

one night you're shitty all the time. But I think if you have a pattern of behavior that says you're shitty, an arrogant prick, but you just have to say, arrogant prick, somebody comes to mind, DJT, he's so far above the arrogant prick into the lignit narcissism that that that that that that it's not even a comparison agreed. All right, Kylie who's next? Next we've got Steph. Up next we've got Steph. Jen, pumps. Steph here from the UK. Although right now I'm coming to you from a holiday in Ocean City, New Jersey.

And I have had it with flags. More specifically, the displaying of American flags. Like what the fuck? I have just walked 15, 20 minutes max in a straight line down this street in New Jersey. And I have counted 102 of your star-spangled whoppers. Do you guys forget where you are? What is the deal? Like, in the flower beds hanging from the rooftops.

The whole world is giving you side eye right now. And shit like this does not help. Anyway, it's weird. Somebody please explain it to me. giving you side eye right now. And shit like this does not help. Anyway, it's weird. Somebody please explain it to me. Much love from your six foot blonde blue-eyed Brit. And yes, it was me that left the five star of you hitting on pumps. I love you.

I love that and I love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love that. We love her, we love her stats to kind of prepare herself. Steph sounds hot. Totally. I like how you look at you. You could have a girlfriend across the pond.

Six, two, blue-eyed, blonde hair. Blue-eyed, blonde hair. I'm just be right at my alley. But I'll tell you what, she's on to something. She's so right. It's like we're, because when you're raised, in the, wherever you're raised, that's your normal. Right.

And this overt patriotism is pounded in us. And you think it's normal because that's all you know. And then you travel abroad and you realize, you know, what, what's the deal here? And I'm sure the patriots that are listening are going to lose their fucking mind. So this is your trigger warning right here right now. But the situation about it is this, quit being such a black and white thinker. And be gray about this. The country was designed to be criticized and corrected

in its foundation. So it's possible to say, I love America. Right. I like living here. I'm glad I'm an American. But, you know, the fact that poor people with cancer going to complete debt and can't treat it seems immoral. The fact that we live in abortion band America where a 14, 15 year old rape victim has to carry a baby because she's poor and nobody can take her to a blue state to get an abortion, that's fucked up. So that's

a criticism. The fact that our Supreme Court justices are hanging out with billionaires, getting all these support paid for, free gifts, taking away rights from others, we get to criticize that. 100%. Why how think what the flags is like?

I love a fourth of July celebration. I love the fireworks, I love the flags out on that day. Great, that's one day a year. I don't feel like the majority of people have their flags out all the time. I feel like it's a minority of people, but I think they're trying to oversell something because they know there's a part of it that's broken.

They're trying to force it upon other people. I think you're giving a low IQ people a lot of credit right there for being like that nefarious. This is like a caveman impulse. Okay, this is like all of America. I mean, there's no deep, you know, Freudian brokenness where they would even think hooked up to true Sarah and polygraph that the United States of America is anything but the greatest superpower that ever lived. And you know that because we both grew up in the 80s. I remember the first time I ever traveled abroad, I went to Germany.

And I was shocked that it was so functioning and nice and clean and first world with less poverty than what I saw in the United States because we were raised during the Cold War and it was like we are the best country in the world. We're the only country that has freedom. This isn't patriotic indoctrination is what this is. Right. I just 104 flags. There is this thing where it's like this real- It's an ever-child-like impulse. Love America, or you're not a patriot. And it's like, of course, we love America.

Of course, we're not here. Right, of course, we love America. Of course, we're patriots. But we don't have to put it on our- We don't have to have a flag on our card, on our house, and on our business, and our other- Our other- Yeah, where, you know, flag shirts all the time.

What about the, my favorite, my favorite shirts are like the muscular, homoerotic, Photoshop Donald Trump shirts, they're like wrapped up in a flag and he's like totally cut with muscles. And you see some like red net guy wearing it. And I'm like, what's the fordian shit in that? That you're wearing a Photoshopped muscular version

of Donald Trump wrapped in an American flag on your chest to show your patriotism. I think that that is just, there's so many lies on that. I can't even talk about it. I can't even even get to the flag because I can't get over the messled up good body of him. It's pretty gay in my opinion.

It's on lower rank. But I don't, I think it goes back to low IQ. I don't think they're getting that. I think they think this is him. I think they believe that's what he looks like. It's kind of like it's the same way they view Jesus. White, muscular, you know, it's like the, where if Jesus did live, he would have been brown.

Right. Brown skinned. I mean, no question about it. Right. But it's always like, you know, there's this version of the idealized man and they, you know, Photoshop trump up to look like that. They Photoshop Jesus up. Even, you know, as recently as five, seven hundred years ago, you'll see a portrait of Jesus

and he's white. Right. You know, so they Photoshopped, 700 years ago, you'll see a portrait of Jesus and He's white. Right, you know, so they Photoshopped these men up. They white-watched Jesus. Because He absolutely would have been around. And I muscle-washed fat ass Trump. Hahaha. Now that was some Photoshop genius because I'm kind of going to be gone to something.

It is homoerotic. I'm sorry. It just for this butch man that probably hasn't, you know, AK-47 would never touch a bed light in his life. Burps white orgasm. Totally shooting shit, you know, all the time, you know, maybe make some squirrel stew or something

and then he's got on this fucking, you know, homoerotic trap, all muscular. And it's like, oh, fuck off. Yeah, that shit. It's like, oh fuck off. Yeah, that's shit. It's unbelievable as what it is. Okay, the trigger warning will now cease. Seize for our little snowflake hate listeners. Okay, next we've got Leanne.

Hey, pumps and J Welch, this is Leanne from Toronto, and I have had it. Had it. With Facebook Marketplace. And I hate myself for continuing to post shit on Facebook Marketplace because I know that this is the place where brain cells go to fucking die. Okay. I write a comprehensive ad.

Everything is in that ad and yet I get questions like, will you take $20? No, you fucking idiot. It says in the ad, the price is firm. Okay, where in the city do you live? Read the fucking ad. It says like these people have been hit hard with the fucking idiot stick. I hate Facebook marketplace.

It cheeses my thrusters. And I hate myself for continuing to post Shit on Facebook marketplace had it Land my question for you is why are you a masochist? You know why? Why do you keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result as a self? I'm guilty of it myself. Not on Facebook, Mark.

As established on this podcast, one thing we've had it with, and I would think you've probably had it with too, are stupid questions. And Leanne, here you are in the mecca of stupid questions, which is Facebook. Well, you can't help but find stupid questions because you're on Facebook. I don't think there's anything dumber on the planet than Facebook.

It's the dumbest of the dumb. I would love to make a big comment on that, but I've never been on Facebook, so I don't know a lot that's going on on Facebook. I did set up an account for you about 15 years ago that I operated and posted on. For about two days or something. Oh, for about three or four months, I would post. Like Jennifer is my best friend. I'll ever more than anything on the planet.

She is amazing. And the people were just, oh, that's so sweet. I remember a spot and it was like, Angela Sullivan and I know I just love her so much. She's the best. And I would just sit. I remember you had that again. I would just sit crying, laughing.

It was so fun being you on Facebook. I mean, I'm sure it was just more fun every post was about me. I wish we could find that, that'd be funny. I could probably find it. Can we bring that back? Yeah, I mean, I never deactivated. I don't think I'm sure it exists. I think pumps could use your help on Instagram too.

Yeah. Yeah. A lot of things are more fun. We both struggle on apps. Way more me than you though. Yeah, yeah. A lot of things are more. We both struggle on apps. Way more than you though. Yeah, you struggle the most. I struggle the most. Okay, but the lean thing, here's what I've had,

because I had a garage sale one time with my kids close. And I spent hours and hours and days and days organizing it, getting it all together, like, I was gonna get rid of all the baby clothes. I mean, it's been a lot of time doing it. And I think I had like, okay, this baby outfit is a dollar or 50. I don't, I can't remember what it was. And somebody would come and get, can I give you five cents?

And I'm just like, five cents, like fucking steal it. I'd rather you steal it than give me five cents. And this is the same kind of thing. Like, I don't want to bargain with you. Maybe we just do a garage shell and put shop lifters. Welcome shop lifters. Please come and just get the shit out of my house. Uh-huh. But yeah, I mean, the going back and forth and I agree with her 100%. My ex-husband will send me tax. I will send back the exact, like, step one. Do this.

Step two, this. Step three, this. I mean, a first grader could follow the instructions. Know all the information, be well aware of what it is. He wants to do a follow-up phone call where he regurgisates the questions to me and says that right. And I've had it with that. It's the st- so, I mean, now I just don't answer

those phone calls, but. But Urix husband is a special case of incompetence. Right, no, I agree. Love's, loves to communicate about frivolous details. I remember one time a long time ago, Dylan and Emily were on a tea ball team, and Urix husband was the coach. Right.

And he sent out probably a, and I'm not exaggerating here, 15 paragraph email. It was at least three pages. About a four to five year old T-ball team. Right. The first request in the email was, please send your kids to practice, mind you it was 105 degrees,

in long sleeve pants and long sleeve shirts so that when they slide into home base. That first gift, they won't get skiff marks and I'm thinking slide into home base. They're sitting on the ground studying and looking for really pulleys and lady bugs. Right. I think that was the year that a lot of the kids went to third base if the ball came off the tee. They would run the wrong. It was, it was, we were no sliding. It was safe to say it was a no slides down. It was an unbelievable email that had absolutely nothing to do with four and five year old T ball team.

Right. No, but don't you just hate when you send like the perfect email or the perfect text? And somebody asks you something that it's a question that's already in the email and the text. It's just like, let me tell you what, let me tell you what recently happened to me. So I was setting up an account with somebody that I already have an account in, but I was trying to set up a new business account.

And so I said, hey, I need to set up, I have a new business, I need to set it up in the account. And he says, Oh, let me know when I can stop by for us to talk about this. And I respond, I don't have time to meet in person. Right. Can you please email me the documents? And he responds, do you have time for a call? And I said, no, let me know. Can you email me the documents? He emails me the documents, I fill them out. Then he sends me a signature docu-sign thing. I docu-sign it, much to my surprise. The meeting, nor the phone call were required at all.

It was done in 2.5 seconds. Well, that's the grandstanding. That's just straight up grandstand. Yeah. All right, Kylie, who's next? Okay, next we the grandstanding. That's just straight-up grandstand. Yeah. All right, Kylie, who's next? Okay, next we've got J.R. I am obsessed with you guys. I had to re-download Instagram just to leave you this message

of what I am fucking at. I had to take a social media break. Anyway, I am fucking at it with a long term couple. It's couples who have been together forever. They're gonna get married, they are married. Who are all over each other? And they're both like your good friends. You know, I want you to picture pumps,

I should say Angie, but like pumps with Jennifer and Josh. And pumps, imagine if Jennifer and Josh were all the fuck over each other. Oh, guys. Making out on the couch, leaning on each other, Tissy, love each other. I'm like, what the fuck is that? No, I hate it, I hate it, I was fucking at it.

Love you guys, keep fighting the good fight. There's nothing grosser. There's nothing grosser on planet Earth than grown adults grow being in public. It is disgusting. I mean, eh, gag a mag. I think, you know, I remember this couple and we would go to these like dinner club parties and

whatnot. And they've been married a long time that popped out a couple of kids. And everybody to get all liqueurred up. And I'd look over and on the ottoman, this couple is full blown. I mean, like showtime skin amax style make out. It's not quite soap opera and it's not quite porn. It's that skin amax level of make out. Titties are being grabbed, hand is up between the legs, there's dry humping. It's like, at home alone. And I remember like, wow, like are the exhibitionist?

Like I understand like maybe you know, you're drunk. You got too much to drink. And you reach over and give your partner a smooch. But this was a full, blown, soft core porn demonstration. And I thought to myself, well, maybe this is a one off, right? Because I remember you called me because I went outside to smoke for you to describe it to me. I thought maybe this was a one off and then I go to another party and the exact same thing

happens again. So I thought, well, maybe it's a two off. Maybe they took some ecstasy or something, you know? Right. That can't be how they normally act. Right. And so then it was just consistent across the board. It's full blown soft core porn anytime they're an event.

See, I have been shocked about that for 20 years. I mean, that to me is just something is fucked up with that. I think at mean, I think they're exhibitionists. And maybe it's like an invitation to kind of lure in other swingers. Maybe he can't get it up in the bedroom. But he can get it up if they're in front of people. I don't know. There's some, there's some shit that they do. But that's just not normal. I mean, that's to the extreme, like I've never seen extreme.

No, it was bad. But yeah, I just even think like if you and Josh sat at a table with me and started French kissing, I would leave immediately. I would just be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? That is disgusting. I don't want to see anybody French kiss a couple. It's an insecurity in the relationship when you feel great to do it in front of other people. Like you're trying to prove something to other people. Because if you're completely confident in your relationship, you would

have an awareness that I don't need to prove my love to anybody publicly because I don't give a shit because we both know. Right, which reminds me, Kylie, aren't you an Anna PDA-ers? Under your definition, probably. What definition are you using? I mean, you guys don't even like handholding, sitting on the same side of the booth.

I can't hold. I can't hold, Josh, my handhold. We're not on the same side of the booth. Yeah, we sometimes sit on the same side of the booth. What? On purpose? Yeah. Like, not with other watch. Yeah, it's on the watch list. It's on the watch list.

Okay, I think you're, it's a slippery slope. Just like JR the caller said, I'm gonna put this in the red flag. Okay, I'm gonna put this in the young love category. I'm gonna put it on watch. Yeah, it's on the watch list. It's on the watch list. Okay, I think you're, it's a slippery Yeah, it's on the watch list. It's on the watch list. Okay, I think

you're it's a slippery slope. Just like JR the caller said, it could be annoying to those around you. Right. And so, but it's on watch, young love category, young pretty lesbian category. It's not a complete total red flag band, but you and Anna and your PDA are on watch. All of our heterosexual male listeners and lesbian listeners are probably saying accelerator smashed to the floor board. At what point, what year mark do we need to cool it? I would start it pretty soon. Yeah, because you guys just had your cheer anniversary. I think in by three, we just need to be hand holding, maybe a pat at the booth. Hand holding a pet, those things are appropriate. I don't have any issue with that.

No issue with a pet. No issue with a pet and arm around each other. A hand on a thigh and a little tap. That's fine too. Totally fine with that. The larger question that you all need to analyze with these public displays of make-out are who are you doing it for?

Right. I mean, maybe we're exhibitionists. I like that. I mean, if you're not swapping spit, I don't think that counts as an exhibition. I think they have. I think they have. Early on.

I'm sure we'd say we have. Early on set PDA. Early on set PDA. I'll work on it. Don't change. I it don't don't change I'm don't listen are we have to stay keep it out of the office anybody who listens to us don't take anything we say seriously I do not fridge kiss your husband or spouse or wife or anybody long term in front of

other people like a French kiss that's out all the titty babies in the comments yeah they always get so upset when you come at them I want everyone in front of other people, like a French kiss. That's out. All the titty babies in the comments, they always get so upset when you come at them. I want everyone to know, I've probably done 500 of the things you've had it with. Oh, every single day, how does that go? Unfortunately, we do. Everything that we've had it with, we absolutely do.

And people take us way too seriously about shit. Here's the only fucking shit that we're serious about and the hill that we will die on are our political beliefs, which we believe are come from within us for moral purposes. That hill, I will fucking die on, come fire at us. I mean, we will sit and fuck and take that shit all day. But, all this other petty bullshit, you guys need to fucking chill out.

Can't believe anybody would take us seriously on that shit. It's ridiculous. I think a lot of people agree with this is what the deal is. It is cursed. Or they identify, we called them out. Right.

Okay, I was gonna tell this, so just Saturday night, I was with a group of girls, and we were at dinner. And this older couple, like the older lady came and then the older husband came. So we thought, the older man came.

So we thought maybe it was like a bumble date. That's what we thought about. Well, then they switched over to the same side of the booth. And I'm not even kidding. My entire table was like, oh my god, they're sitting on the same side of the booth. Oh my gosh, they're sitting. I mean, like we were, could not wrap our heads around it.

That they would just sit on the same side of the booth and they were like in their 60s. But they went right into would just sit on the same side of the booth, and they were like in their 60s, but they went right into sitting on the same side of the booth, and it just, we were shak. There's two options for this, okay? Right. Option number one is, they're the problem, and that's fucked up.

Right. Option number two is, we're the problem, and we're fucked up. And I think it could go either way. I was gonna say, we definitely know where fucked up. So I can make an argument for both sides of that. For me personally, it would injure my neck to be eating with my head turned like this.

The whole time, and I'm an eye contact person. I have a person. But eye contact is more intimate to me than the touching. I watched a curb your enthusiasm episode on the plane when we run our way back from the tour. And Larry likes to sit on the same side of the booth to avoid eye contact. So I can support it in that regard. He's like, you know, he's not the same sort of the booth. You don't have to make eye contact.

Right. It's a less intimate dinner. And I was like, okay, if you're doing it for that purpose, there's some logic to that. I get it. Yeah. I mean, pumps, when I think about you, I always think about you battling a brawl. It's the worst. Big boobs are the worst until you find a great product. I've noticed since you started wearing honey love, I don't see you tugging and shifting

and twitching and your boobs look great. Well, thank you. No, and your boobs look great. Well, thank you. Now, honey love is so comfortable. I sometimes forget I have it on. What do you think about their leggings and other things they have in the crossover bra? How comfortable are those? They're great.

And the shapewear is excellent. The leggings are so comfortable, too. I like it all. I do, too. I absolutely love their underwear, shapewear, bras. It feels like you're not wearing any, which we love here at I've had it. Listener, you can treat yourself to the best shapewear on the market and save 20% off at honeylove.com slash had it.

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OAK, ESS, EN, T-I-A-L-S, dot com. Be sure to use the promo code HADIT, whether you're starting from scratch or filling in the gaps. Oak Essentials gives you one less thing to worry about. Treat yourself because you deserve it. All right, up next we've got Sarah. Hey Kylie, hi ladies. I am here to say I've had it with internet panhandling.

It has come to an epidemic proportion and it must be stopped. I literally had a friend today post on her Facebook that she's counting down the 12 days to her big Parisian vacation, but here's my Venmo if you want to buy me a croissant or a cappuccino. Bitch, if you can't afford a pastry when you get there, then keep your ass at home. I've had it. Sarah, this is something that we have not discussed, which is a massive, egregious violation of the social contract to solicit donations for a luxury European vacation. I can't even believe somebody has the balls to do that.

That is bananas. Carly, you see that? Oh, yeah. Oh, you do? See, I've never seen that all the time. People put their vignmos on their socials I have you heard of wish lists. Do you know about this? Yes People I know people that I'm getting divorced. Here's my Amazon wish list and put together like a shower registry

And people do it. I just that's too much. It's a bridge too far I'm gonna ride too far the gal wanting people to chip in to buy her a croissant. I just can't even imagine how you put your head on the pillow at night. You're just brazenly grifting. Your social media friends like that. I just think like, okay, so you think it's a good idea, but then you think about it, then you put it up there and you look at it and you think, is that a good idea? But yet it's still on there days later, which means it never crossed our mind. It was a bad idea. The fact that it's always been a bad idea because it was even an idea.

No, I know, but I'm just saying it. No point did she pull out of the idea. I think that's from a point did she about face. I think from the inception of thinking that people need to contribute to your vacation, to your vacation. It just, it is born in bad ideas. It stays in bad ideas. He's always.

And it's probably that brain is full of a lot of bad ideas. That's not the only one. Right. Okay. That's probably a hotbed of bad ideas up in that Galspring. So many bad ideas that that was limited. That's a grift. That's a fucking grift.

That is grifting and not even trying to hide the grip. No, it is it is full-blown mega-church Gryft grift. Oh my god. I saw the most hysterical speaking of mega-churchers. You know any opportunity I get to beat that so I saw this Preacher even jellicle preacher and he starts going bananas and he says, you see this here and he's holding up a baseball bat and he says, if into this baseball bat is a holy Bible and I've got it duct taped and zip tied to this here baseball bat, you see that over there? That is a Barbie playhouse. And he takes the baseball bat. And this is one of those mega church

with the screens in the rock band. He's in 3D for sure. The dunk tank, all the shit, right? So he starts beating the Barbie house up, right? He's beating the Barbie house, he's beating the Barbie house up. And here's the deal with this. There's a bunch of people that you can hear cheering, hooting, hollering, thinking this is the greatest thing ever.

And here's just what I don't get. I get a solitary nut. Right. I understand that a person can be a complete nut and they're just a nut and everybody knows they're a nut. Nobody listens to them. Nobody takes them seriously. This person is a stage five nut. What I don't get is when somebody's doing that, ridiculous, performative bullshit of duct taping a Bible to a baseball bat to hit a Barbie house. To beat up a Barbie house, where my brain has trouble is hearing all of the members

of the audience, great idea, good. Yeah. Sock it to the kitchenette. Sock it to the master bedroom. Oh yeah. Get that little Barbie chair and that the enthusiasm that I heard from the audience in this video. That's where I'm like, so all of that is just a collection of nuts enabling nuttery. It's bananas. You act like you've never heard of a religious cult before. Well, I have, but I think that we as a society think of that as, you know, the Mormons that have a bunch of wives or the Duggers who have 25,000 kids.

Typically, people think a mega church, especially in the part of the country where we live, is mainstream. Right. And the truth of the matter is, it is a cult, and it's a grift. It's a grifting cult. It's a grifting cult. The mega churches are grifting cults, put it in the permanent record. Joe Estrada. Joe Estrada.

All right, the last one is from Olivia. Hi, Jessica. Hi, Poms. I'm originally from Poland, but I've been living in the US for the past eight years. So I've accumulated an entire book of I've had it. It's about the American people. So let me at least share one. I've absolutely fucking had it with these stupid ass Instagram moms saying

things like, thank you my baby for choosing me to be your mommy. You were raw dogging on vacation in Florida, you got pregnant and now you have a baby. Don't make anything more of it. And besides, how fucking narcissistic of you to think that this baby, out of all the moms out there, would choose your stupid ass who posts stuff like that on Instagram. Fucking clowns. Anyways, love you guys. Oh my God. That is so good. Check that shit into my veins. It's so good. Shit. Kyle, I need free to text message that to me so I can put it in my sounds on my phone so

I can just listen to it when I need to. Some people want to hear inspirational quotes to put them in a good mood. I want to hear that. I got you. The second clown at the end was the bass. That puts me in a good mood. I love how narcissistic that you think that baby would choose you. What about you?

You were raw dog and it's like Florida. It's true. The Instagram mom culture. It's bad. It's so over the top. She's probably talking about a two or three year old that doesn't have Instagram. So the kids not seeing it. So it's totally performative. Wouldn't it be nice if like in 18 years you could

follow that same person the kid gets on and goes, that woman was the biggest f***ing nut. I hated her guts. Just go on and on and on. And I didn't choose her. I was forced to come out that year. No, that was bad. That was great. No, she's right, though. The Instagram mom culture in America is just, it's so over the top. It's like being a mother is this new original thing. First generation of this is a child is the most the first of its species of its kind that's ever you know walked the planet earth. And I chose this child and this child chose me and serendipity

fucking injecting into the veins and it's total bullshit. You bred you fucked your raw dog. You popped out a kid, right? Okay. Your kid is every bit of special. Is everybody else's, which is not that special. And your journey into motherhood is about like ours. It just is what it is. It is wonderful to you and to you personally.

Sometimes it's a pain in the ass. And I think it's more refreshing. I did too. When I think it's more refreshing. I do too. When I hear a mother say, being a mother is so great, but it's also equal parts, exhausting, lonely, isolated, and difficult. It is, and that's the type of mother I want to talk to.

Those are the people I gravitate to. The one that's in our lives. The one that's in our lives. Yeah. That put out this whole, you know, I can't take it. It's too much. I can't take it. But you know what's so great about our age, again,

is that we've cultivated our friends so well that those people are at arm's length. Oh yeah. Like, we might see them on Instagram, but that's as close as they're gonna get. I saw on Instagram the other day, a gal was posting, she was recommending, I think we've talked about this before, but it's worth a revisit.

Recommending school drop off looks. Oh, that's right. Yes. I remember you sent that to me and I just thought, go fuck yourself. Nobody except you cares what you're wearing at drop off. Nobody. Universally. You're the only person out of eight billion people that cares.

And for you to post it on the Instagram as a drop off look, I mean, that's just the height of narcissism. And it goes back to this point, you really shouldn't be up at your kids school. Right. And the schools, it's not good for the teachers. It's not good for the administrators.

And it sure as fuck isn't good for these kids because just as much as a mom needs a break from the kid, the kid needs a break from the mom. My kids needed a break from me. They needed to go play with people their size, with their same developmental stage and they needed to make friends. And I oppose these parents helicoptering around these schools. It's ridiculous. It wasn't like that when we were young girls.

No, it was not. I think it exacerbates anxiety. I think it's a pain in the ass for these teachers. It's a pain in the ass for these administrators. And I think that they need to stand up full force. And if people want to go dictate what goes on in public schools and they don't like it, then fucking homeschool your kid.

Right. That's an easy fix. Get out all your textbooks and you sit there with your fucking brat and you homeschool them. But don't go piling on to all these poor teachers because your child chose you and y'all have this most unique bond that no other mother and child have ever experienced on the fucking planet Earth. Right.

Fuck off. But one thing I want to point out to the listener is when you would drop off your kids in the robe before your white suburban petri dish of a car had even come out of the circle drive for drop off. A surgical glove was put on your hand. A marble light box was packed. Oh, absolutely.

You were lighting a dirt in this red robe as you're pulling out a carpool. With a blue glove. With the mother, you're having to pass the mother who says, I'm so glad this child chose me giving you the stink eye. Inter outfit of the day. Inter outfit of the day is you're blowing smoke out

the window. That shit is fucking great. It is. And remember that one day I called you, I was like pulling out a carpool, lit up my cigarette and a mom in front of me lit out the cigarette. And I remember my call to you. I was like, oh my God, there's two of us. I'm so happy. Yeah, she was blown smoke out of her.

Yeah, I was barely out of carpool line before I was. Uh-huh. Do you think your kids were glad they chose you in that moment? I think my kids are always so glad they cherish me every minute of the day. And that's just such a... I mean, it's so stupid. It's so stupid. Here's what all it is, is what she said.

You're raw dog and everybody's all hot and bothered. That's all there is too. And you've got this person's set of genetics and this person's set of genetics. And it's just a scientific thing happens with all species not unique to you. The kid didn't choose you. The kid didn't choose you. Hey, to break your heart.

Yeah, fuck her. Fuck her. Love the gal from Poland. What's her name? That was Olivia. Olivia. Olivia. Olivia, that goes down in the, I've had it, Hall of Fame.

Yes. Because some people want inspirational quotes, I want that shit. I want that shit. That puts me in a good mood. And I don't care who knows it. Well, listen, Epilistner. You know, I mean, we've just been fired up. Spreading sunshine like we do.

Absolutely. And, you know, for those of you that got triggered that made it to the end, quit taking everything we say so seriously. Big of a yourself. Quit being a titty baby. Quit being a titty baby. Yeah. And go find us. Lincoln bio on all of our socials were on tour. We're having so much fun with that. So vast. I mean, pumps on tour is just an absolute sensation. The crowds that this woman is bringing are all comparable to the crowds of Princess Diana.

Shut up. And don't forget every Wednesday documentary club. On Patreon. So every Wednesday, please join us on Patreon. We are reviewing documentaries. Pump's and I are doing hard hitting for audience style investigative journaling. Yep.

Journalism. Journalism. Journalism, and then it's follow-up. But the most important thing is five-star review. Five-star review, and send your DMs on the, I've had it Instagram account. Voice memo's in the DMs. Voice memo in the DMs.

Voice memo's in the DMs. Listen, we don't know what the fuck we're doing. Right. Surprise, I'll even made this far I'm telling when we'll see him see you next Thursday or see you next Tuesday or both So sing along I'm Kate libristo host of Off the Vine podcast where I get real. Maybe a little too real sometimes with my friends and Celeb guests from Bachelor

franchise and beyond. I'm talking guests like Jonathan Vaness. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Adams, Elise Myers, just like in this like business jacket, like I would love. I'm taco. Heidi Demilio, big brother's Taylor Hale. I have to bring it up because it happened and we're going to get through it. What I do. And so many more. So come hang out with us here ridiculous confessions and get a little vulnerable because you know what,

we're all just floating on this weird little planet together. Follow rate and review Off the Vine podcast wherever you listen to your podcast.