I've Had It - Revenge is Best Served Publicly with E. Jean Carroll

Episode Date: July 10, 2025

The patron saint of payback and overall badass, E. Jean Carroll, gets petty with Jen and Pumps.Order our new book, join our cult, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast.Thank you to our sponsors:This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp: As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://BetterHelp.com/HADITHoneyLove: Save 20% Off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/Hadit! #honeylovepodShopify: Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://SHOPIFY.COM/haditBellesa: EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE WhisperVibeTM OR a FREE AirVibe with any WhisperTM order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/ivehadit-podcastHomes.com: When it comes to finding a home - not just a house - we have everything you need to know, all in one place. https://homes.com. We’ve done your home work.Follow Us:I've Had It Podcast: @IvehaditpodcastJennifer Welch: @mizzwelchAngie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumpsSpecial Guest: E. Jean Carroll @ejeancarroll1See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Love thrillers with a paranormal twist? The entire Oracle trilogy is available on Audible. Listen now on Audible. So we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay triots, they triots, black triots, brown triots. Fuck off. I like that. It's kind of a whimper. A whimper. Welcome to America's top DEI podcast. Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with are when you go into a public restroom and it has a sensor for the soap and the water. And I'm like doing all the things trying to get them to see my hands and I can't ever get the sensor to do it. And then I run my hand out of the water, I do all this stuff and I can never get it to start on me. And so then I get, I think, well,

it's broken. So I go to the next one, pushing my hands, waving my hands in front of the deal. It still doesn't work. Somebody walks right up next to me and is able to immediately enact the sensor. So I don't know if it's me that I've had it with or it's the sensors that I've had it with. Because it's a reoccurring theme in my life.

I've experienced this as well. And I think with the sensor, there's a Goldilocks position that's just right, that sometimes it's hard to find. And I've done the same thing. I've gone to a sink, I have the soap, it comes out. And I've got soapy hands. And then I'm like, oh no, oh no, there's no water.

No water. And I go to the next faucet, and then I go to the next faucet. And then I go to the next faucet. And then somebody comes in and just flexes right in front of me. And I feel like, am I a moron? But I think it's a fault within the sensor that you have to get this exact Goldilocks positioning

on your hands in order for it to sense. And I've also kind of had it with you ever had those combo. It's like a it's a Dyson product and it comes out and it's like a Y shape. Yes. And it's a it's a soap, a water and a fan all in one spot. And I went went in one day and it was just like, I had water splashing up on me from the fan. That thing is a shit show. We need to have designated stations. I don't want the drying station with the washing station. I've blown soap in my eyes from that station before.

That thing is something else. I mean, it comes so hard and fast. And I've also like, I've been doing the sensor dance where I'm trying to do it, trying to do it. And when it finally comes out, it scares me. And this woman shamed me for it in the bathroom. She walks out, she goes, you didn't know that was going to score water. And I was like, I've been trying for five minutes.

So yes, I was actually startled that it came out. And we just laughed because then she can get hers to work. I mean, it's just you do it so much and you can't get it to come. So anyway, I've had it with that. I realize how great it is with the germs and everything, but I would just like to be able to wash my hands with confidence that the water is going to come out, the soap is going to come out and I can dry my hands. I think they need to expand the scope of the sensor. The sensor needs to be a little bit more sensitive. It shouldn't be that difficult because what this does, if you're at a sporting event or a highly populated bathroom, we need people rotating them out very quickly. And in general, one of our grievances that we put on record with this podcast is how much

longer it takes for women to use the restroom than for men. And put this on top of this Goldilocks situation with the sensors. We've got to, they need to expand the eyeball and the sensor of that scope to where your hands are down there and it's got a laser lock on it. It's going. Water's coming right out. Right.

No, I completely agree. So that's mine. All right. So let me tell you what I've had it with. This happens to me all the time. So when I have to go run errands and do things, I need for everyone to clear out of my way. Yeah. I need for it. I need for the universe to align to where, and this is completely narcissistic and selfish of me, but I know that I'm not the only person that feels this way. I have to run into the grocery store. And I'm like five things.

I get one, I get two, I get three, I get to the fourth item, and we've got a lollygagger standing right in front of the section that I need to just reach in and get my item, pull my item out, put it in the cart, go to my fifth item, and move on. And sadly, this is happening fifth item and move on. And sadly, this has happened to me all the time.

I've got a lollygag or shopper in my way. And I just in my mind, I think, why are you sabotaging my shopping experience? I personalize it as though this person is somehow trying to personally sabotage my, I'm going to run in, grab and dash situation. And I feel irrational anger towards this person who just isn't in a hurry, who just is taking their old sweet time at the grocery store reviewing different types of dip for the chip and maybe reading ingredients. I don't understand that type of person.

I don't understand that availability of time in one's life. Maybe I envy it and maybe I'm jealous of it. Hence the irrational anger. But I have just had it with going shopping and you've got a person parked in front of the section that you need. And I'm not saying like it's just their person, which would be like maybe 15, 20 inches wide. Their cart is an extension.

Right. So you've got about a three to four foot space there that you're unable to access because of this lollygagger. And I've had it. I've had it up to my eyeballs. It's the same thing with register congestors at a walk-up ordering. It's the same thing when I'm driving down the road and some schmohawk wants to take a left turn and there's a lot of ongoing traffic, I think, why are they doing this to me? And I feel this irrational, selfish, narcissistic rage. No, I completely, completely do too.

And I think it's just, there's always an efficiency. I feel like you and I both thrive with efficiency. We're going to get it moving. It's going to take 15 minutes. We've got the next thing lined up. And so when somebody throws a wrench in that, two things. I have shimmied myself in front of the cart and the person and just grabbed it. And I know that's probably rude, but there are also times, just as I was trying to get

my car washed and the guy was like yakking with the other guy that was taking the money, and I just thought, these fuckers are sitting here talking at the car wash station. Like what could they possibly be talking about? And then I start thinking, do they know I'm behind them and they're just trying to make me late? Like it becomes personal. Like they woke up in the morning and they say, how can I fuck her? That's exactly. And they don't know I exist on the planet. So it can't be, it can't be that.

It's exactly. And then it's the same thing when you're going to a restaurant and it's the walk-up order register. Once we finally get through this person that can't make up their mind, that special ordered something that could only parallel with Josh Welch's special ordering, then we get, you know, we're going through a few minutes to try to find the correct form of payment. I mean, this is just lacking self-awareness compounding massively. Then at the tail end of it, we do some idle chit chat. Yes. massively. Then at the tail end of it, we do some idle chit chat. And I'm just sitting there thinking, this is not the time for idle chit chat. This is the time you've paid. You've already consolidated.

Ten people could have ordered in the time that you placed that one order. Ten efficient people could have soldiered through. And now we're chit chatting? Yeah. Now we're chit chatting? Are you kidding me? And the rage that I feel about that makes me think I am not a candidate to be out with the general public. Right. It makes me think I am a delivery only person because I do not mix. There should be a sign that says doesn't play well with others.

She cannot contain herself because I was just enraged yesterday at this man and I was like cussing my kids were with me and they were like, mom, cut him a break. I mean, they're just chit chatting. When your kids are 100% right, but here's what I propose. Totally normal reaction. Here's what I propose. There are people like us and our listener on Asshole Island. We travel differently. we shop differently, we drive differently, we order food differently.

Everything is just a little different. It's a little less friendly, it's a little bit more authentic when we are with the people that we want to be with. It's not just this superficial bravado at all times on a timeline like we have 10 lives on this earth. I'm not interested in that. So what I propose is much like we propose at the airport.

You have a section of the airport for the people who have self-awareness and like to rush through things and run a tight ship and keep things tidy. Similarly, I think at the grocery store, we should have half the grocery store for the lollygaggers and the other half for Asshole Island. Because I don't want to mix with the Lolligaggers. It fucks with my serenity. And I'm going to say it fucks with my serenity because maybe I'm jealous of the serenity that they have to just with reckless abandon spend 20 minutes reading the ingredients of dip for chips.

Maybe I'm jealous of that. Maybe I'm the fucking problem. But here's the thing. If I'm wrong, I don't want to be right. I don't want to stand in front of the chip dip and read the ingredients and have my shopping cart edged out, blocking off people that are in a hurry. I don't want to do that. I want to be on Asshole Island. I want every store, every road curated for my most efficient path down it. Is it selfish? Is it narcissistic? You're goddamn right it is. Welcome to I've

Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie, the HBIC head beaver. Let's check in with Kiki the Magic Lesbian who pumps in her advanced age, keeps calling Katie. I actually have a quick story about you guys and your effect and your efficiency. Oh good. So Ana and I went on our own solo trip last year. It was our first time flying together in a long time. We get into an actual fight at the airport because I won't slow down and walk with her. I'm going too fast.

Which you guys know I've been conditioned to do from traveling with you two. So we get in this fight in the airport. Well, we all got to travel together recently and you guys take off. I'm right with you. We're going at the I've had it pace. And I look back at Ana and I say, you see where I get it from? It's not me. I've been trained to do this. So she noticed in the airport, she couldn't keep up. The I've had at pace. Yeah. Here's the thing. I just, I oppose lollygagging in all of its

forms. Even if I'm taking a relaxing walk, it's going to be brisk. Absolutely. I'm just, I'm not ever going to just think I'm going to slowly stroll because number one, what a waste of a walk to not even try to get your heart rate at a tad bit and burn a few more calories. Furthermore, walking faster means you see more, you do more. So I just, again, I might be the problem here and I'm okay with that. But I don't want to be a part of the solution either. You know, if the solution is to slow down all of this stuff, I don't want any part of that that doesn't appeal to me. I'm picturing part of the solution is going to like a Chipotle type order and 10 people

ask, well, what do you think? Do you like the new rise? So what do you make that salsa with? Like, and me sitting there in line and not having a problem with it, that feels like my life would be completely out of control at that point. Yeah, that feels like rock bottom. That feels like rock fucking bottom. I don't know if there's enough therapists on the planet that could get us through that. If I got to the stage where I'm just having these random conversations, it's about the ingredients of food with random people while other people are waiting, put me down. Take me to the vet and put my ass down. I don't need to participate

in any of this anymore. This is not making anybody better. All right, Kylie. OK, I've got some reviews for you. This one is five stars titled True Service. And Sue Annie writes, someday these women need to be awarded the Congressional Medal of Freedom for their service to is all. I'm just trying to imagine us getting all hookered up, heading over to the White House. Of course, it wouldn't be Donald Trump,

but if the democracy survived, some president putting those medals on us and us acting serious, I can't even picture that happening. We would be dying laughing at the seriousness of the award that it would be like a couple of hookers in church. Right. You know, it would just be insane, but that's very, very sweet. What's next?

It is sweet. Okay, up next we've got another five stars titled, Complaining Is My Love Language. And they write, Hi, I'm a Mexican female surviving in Southern California. Just want to let you know Los Angeles is not burning or rioting. Thank you for this podcast. It has saved my life. I exaggerate, but it does make my workday less soul-crushing. You've also made news digestible with the IHIT news clips.

I literally get more information from you than anywhere else. Keep up the fight and stay smack talking on the cheeto-dusted felon and his ball gurglers. May they choke on them long prunes. They choke on them long prunes. You know, I mean, it's so wild sometimes, like, when I just stop and think about what's going on in this country, it's just, it's so crazy that so many people are just on board with all of this. And I think what's really been getting me lately is it's not enough for them to want to deport people and find out if they need to be or don't need to be, or can contribute

and find a pathway to citizen. They're not interested in that. Okay, whatever. But now that's not enough. Now they want to torture them. Now they want to concentrate them in camps surrounded by alligators and talk about how if they escape, they're going to have to have to learn how to maneuver around them. If not, they're going to get eaten by animals. That's just like, it's such Nazi Germany shit. I just, the people that vote for this are just, I don't want my life. I don't want anything to do with them. I want nothing to do with Nazis. And now we have the American Nazi Party. Absolutely. And I think I really did because I hope spring's eternal and I'm naive as fuck. I thought people are going to see that they're selling merch where they're going

to send people without due process, with no chance, like with no time. I mean, you're already so far over your skis on that. With no timetable to let them out. And they're going to say, that is not okay. That is not who we are. We don't do this to people. And it has been crickets. I mean, I honestly can say I was somewhat surprised. And then I think we've got the Aliens Enemies Act and then it's going to go through the Supreme Court because they're going to sue. And is the Supreme Court just going to be like, fuck yeah, baby. Put him out there. Let the allegate. I mean, I just,

I don't know where we are today in the United States of America. I mean, we're on the downhill slide. Don't get me wrong. But like our moral campus is so profoundly fucked up. And no, it is. But exactly what you describe is exactly how authoritarian authoritarian footing takes hold. You have this expectation from people who have never shown humanity in a decade. But yet you still have this expectation. This is going to be it. And it's not. So you keep moving the goalposts for them.

And instead, we need to all collectively realize these people had no problem voting for him when he called all immigrants, RAPISTS, and so on and so on, tried to give a microphone a blow job, the insurrection, and all of this. So I love you to pieces, but having an expectation that people that triple trumped are going to have a moment of morality or

clarity is on you at this point. And then that continues, you continue to move the goalposts and you have to expect the worst with them. We all should be expecting them to figure out a way to stop the midterms. I fully expect them to do that. I fully expect the triple Trumpers to applaud the first time a migrant is eaten by an alligator. They've already made ASMR videos on the White House social media as a relaxing sedative for MAGA followers as people are getting chained and shackled and sent to a concentration camp in El Salvador. So I have zero, zero hope or aspiration that these people are anything other than what

they are. Maga Christians are evil to their core. They are what will remain after Donald Trump drops dead. These people will remain. Their cruelty will remain. They want a Christian Sharia law. They want gays humiliated and tortured. Women are already being humiliated and tortured by being denied life-saving abortion care. And so the stuff with the migrants, but you don't even have to ask me. Ask a black person what their experience has been like with these people and they'll tell you these MAGA Christians look them straight in the eye and call them the N word with the

hard R. And that's just, we've overlooked it and overlooked it, but now white people are finally getting a dose of what it's like to be black in America. That's right. That's right. And it really, it's going to take all of us to get us out of this because there are so many of these people. Yeah. And here's the thing. I mean, I don't know. I don't, they're so arrogant in their worldview that it's right and righteous and they don't want the separation of church and state. They want a theocracy.

I simply, I don't want that. I'm not interested in religion. I'm not interested in magical thinking. I don't think there's a devil with horns in his head that has an army of demons that are torturing people in hell right now. Call me crazy. That sounds kinda bat shit.

But those people legitimately believe that, so much so that Caroline Levitt, the White House press secretary, she was talking about spiritual warfare the other day. Like it's just normal and real. Yeah. So, I mean, I don't know how to, I don't know how you, I don't want to be with Christian nationalists. No, I can't fucking stand them. No. Okay. Onto some non-political news for the class today. Okay. I thought this was just, I'm going to get your all's take on this. I kind of thought this was hilarious. And I know that everybody's just going to browbeat me for thinking this is so funny, but I'm going to go ahead and read the headline.

Teacher accused of chugging booze, calling students little shits, and making them dance the Macarena. A teacher who allegedly chugged booze and hurled curse words at students during a lesson that she interrupted to have them dance the Macarena has been fired. The teacher was seen swigging from a water bottle full of orange liquid, which smelled of alcohol, and blaring music from her laptop during the health class. Students said that usually reserved and quiet teachers' classes on alcohol and drug awareness were normally, quote, boring. She also called students little shits and put her middle finger two to three inches

from another teen's face during the out of control class. That's kind of like, fuck you, you little shit. So I saw this and I of course just busted out laughing. Pumps, what's your take? I think probably, I think we can all surmise that she was drunk, she needed to be fired. But quite frankly, if I was a teenager and that teacher happened, I fucking loved it. I would have loved it. It would have been one of my- Loved it. I would have macarooned, I would have done the F you back.

I mean, that would have just been like a great class. Totally. I mean, obviously she does need to be fired. Obviously, you can't get all liquored up at school. No, you can't get liquored up. And she may be an alcoholic, which would, you know, and then I have empathy for her. But just picturing her making them all get up and get up your little shits, let's do the Macarena. Like I would have craved something like that at my boring fucking high school.

I would have loved it. And I'll tell you what else. My guess is they were little shits. They probably were. They drove her to drink and get all liquored up. They drove her to drink. Yeah. Okay. Next up. Okay. This one we really have to deep dive into. This is top tier premium petty, you guys. Airbnb host sends a man's wife security footage of him with another woman after he left a bad review. A wild story is making rounds on social media after an Airbnb host reportedly snitched on a guest by sending security footage of him with another woman straight to his wife's inbox, all because he left a bad review. According to the now viral tell, the man had stayed at the property for a short getaway.

After his stay, he left a negative review on Airbnb complaining about the amenities and customer service. The host, furious over what they saw as an unfair rating, allegedly decided to get revenge by digging through their security footage from the stay. That's when they found something juicy. The man wasn't alone. He had checked in with a woman who was not his wife. Screenshots of emails and DMs show the host tracking down the guest's wife, possibly through social media, then forwarding her clips or images of him cozying up with another woman during his stay.

Okay, I'm kind of here for it. I kind of am too. I'm just like, if you're going to fuck around on your wife, big boy, these are consequences. Maybe you didn't anticipate it, maybe that's on you. But do the crime, do the time. I don't blame the Airbnb-er. Well, and here's the thing too. Think about how arrogant this guy is. Okay, he's an adulterer, right? Probably a womanizer.

Clearly a womanizer. And he gets an Airbnb and to go, you know, sex it up, do a lot of naughty stuff with his mistress. And then instead of like trying to leave no trace of it- Like I was never there. He goes and he's so arrogant and thinks he can operate with such impunity, he goes and leaves a shitty review.

And I guess the Airbnb person, his review must be an outlier. Right. For them to have gone to this length of pettiness to expose this man, I would assume for the Airbnb people, it's an outlier of a review. So they're like, what's his fucking deal? We have a five star rating. Why is this guy

going off on us? And I have to say the investigation, love all of it, screenshotting, tracking the wife down. And then think about this, they see the picture. He's like, oh, they brought a woman here. Well, let's go to his social media. Oh, this isn't the same woman. I got to tell you, this is something out of our playbook. Right. I mean, I'm titillated just at the thought. I would like to start a company where it's like, let's the Airbnb busters, because the whole thing from start to finish, brilliantly executed. Brilliantly executed. And then to put it, I mean, this picture of the mistress, it's all over the internet now. Yeah. That's a bust. It's what you call B-U-S-T bust. Kylie, what do you think about that? Oh, I'm all for this. 100% in. I think it's just, I think it's

like if you're gonna fuck around, then you're gonna find out. Yeah, and if his wife wasn't with him at the Airbnb, he should have never left a review to begin with. Exactly, that's what I'm saying. I mean, he was not trying, he thinks he is hot stuff. He is big dick in the big city. He has got his girlfriend at the Airbnb. I wonder if the girlfriend was bitching about it. And so he's like, okay, well, I'm gonna, I mean, I don't know.

I don't know what his deal is, but he's. Well, you know what he did? He fucked around, found out. Yeah, Kylie, do y'all ever stay in Airbnbs? We do, we're trying to do that less because they actually are way scarier than a hotel room. I feel way less safe. I agree. Someone could live in the walls. They could have cameras. I don't know. I've seen a lot of reporting where the host house has these little hidden nanny cams and then they're

watching the footage of you having sex or changing clothes or that's really like... That's got to be a crime, right? Well, you are America's greatest legal... Well, but I mean, people aren't... I mean, I get ring camera kind of thing, but being surveilled in the home, I don't think that's legal. I wouldn't think. I've also heard sometimes the host stays in the house with you. Well, that's a partial rent. So you can rent a room on Airbnb. So like you right now, being an empty nester, you could rent out your bedrooms.

But I mean, some people, it's a way to, in large cities, New York 20s. One of my daughter's friends is doing that in New York City and loves it, loves her host, loves everything about it. You're in your 20s, it's an affordable way to meet people, to get connected. So it's not, I mean, obviously at our stage and season of life, that's not something we do. I mean, what my kids still live with me. I was telling my friend who was in town yesterday,

yeah, my mom makes no bones about she can't wait for us to all be gone after summer. She can't wait for, she likes it a lot better when we're not here. Yeah. I'm like, well, I kind of do. What do you say? I said, I kind of do. I like my routine. I like my space. I like my dog. I like just being in charge of everything.

And I like everything being about me all the time. And when I'm at home by myself with my dogs, it is. Yeah. Yeah. How did Emily take that? She knows it. I mean, I don't try to hide it that well. Yeah. All right. Well, you know, I have to say I've enjoyed, I enjoy when my kids are home. But we listener, there's a difference. Pumps, when her kids are home, she refuses to in real time draw boundaries to take time for herself. So no, I'm better. But for years, it's them all piled on top of you 24-7, 365. Breastfeeding all the time, yeah. That's true.

Yeah. But anyway, I mean, you know, I'll be glad when everybody goes back to college. I think that's good. It's good for them and it's good for you. But you've enjoyed them. I've totally enjoyed it. But you know, I've done that for 25 years. I'm ready for a little space.

Pumps and I need to share with everybody that we have written a book. It's called Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. And believe it or not, Pumps and I have not always been so rock solid. And we talk about all of our trials, tribulations, most of all our fuck ups. Yes, because fuck ups are relatable and a part of the human experience. I have gotten so much feedback regarding the book

that because of my situation with the religion and addiction and all that, that people relate to that. So I do think there's something to take away that's comforting about it because we've all been in very difficult situations. And listener, what we want you to do, this is the It Book for summer reading. So please get your copy of Life is a Lazy Susan

of Shit Sandwiches and take a picture of yourself with the book in really great places and tag at I've Had It podcast and we will share your images with our summer it book. You can buy it in bookstores. You can buy it in the link in our bio. You can buy it at Target, Walmart, Amazon, et cetera. All the retailers, happy reading and happy summer.

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Our listeners get 10 percent off their first month at betterhelp.com slash had it. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash had it. All right. We have a guest that we are incredibly excited about and it is none other than E.Jean Carroll. She's a journalist and the author of five books, including a biography of Hunter S. Thompson and the New York Times bestselling book, Not My Type, One Woman Versus a President. She has written for Rolling Stone, the New York Times, Outside Vanity Fair, New York, and Esquire. She was named one of the most influential people in the world in 2024. She throws the ball for her dogs at her cabin in the mountains in upstate New York. And considering she's so influential, it's no coincidence that she has arrived at I've Had It podcast.

Let's welcome E. Jean Carroll. Oh my god, the two of you, you just crack me up. I love it. You got me up. You're so funny. You were Carrie Bradshaw before Carrie Bradshaw. Thank you, but you have a bad influence on me. Now, they said, E.G., before you go on, I've had it. You have to think of things that you've had it with.

And I like to grab joy. I don't like to think of the annoying thing. Well, God damn it, you have to think of things that you've had it with. And I I like to grab joy. I don't like to think of the annoying thing. Well, God damn it, this morning, getting ready for your podcast. I'm I've had it with this. I take it. I can't do my island. I've had it with this island. You have bad influence. Yeah, we're terrible. Rotten to the core.

Oh, I mean, I don't know if I'm going to get over it. I'm now seeing everything that irks me and it pisses me off. Oh yeah. Let me ask you this. What do your friends call you? E. Jean? Yes. E. Jean. Okay. All right. E. Jean, what have you had it with since you've been deep diving into grievances? What comes, what's the very first thing you've had it with? into grievances. What's the very first thing you've had it with? Braziers. Oh, okay. I hate them.

Oh, oh, okay. It's a python gripping you around your chest, pushing your chest up so your nipples are grazing your eyelashes, right? And then you constantly have to open your shirt and jerk it down like it's Venetian blinds. It's impossible and I don't even have a bosom. I have a tiny little bosom. I don't even know. Angie, I'm looking at you. Yeah, oh no. Sagin' Dragons, it's a constant reboot. The only good thing about it, E. Jean, is

that when I go somewhere, I can put all my items that I need. I don't have to take my purse. I can put my credit card, my phone, my vape, everything in my bra so that I'm hands-free. That's the only thing about it. But if I don't have on a bra, my boobs, they're hitting my knees. We've got apples in a tube sock situation over here. Yes, for sure. E. Jean, one time, peak COVID, we're heading to Mexico, right? Our planes have gotten delayed, so we're all scattered all over the flight. I look over at Angie, and she's sitting next to this woman who's double-masked up. Next thing I know, she takes off her bra all the time,

particularly on airplanes. This bra comes out, slaps this woman who's clearly a germaphobe with two masks, right in the face. And I could just, I could feel the disgust. And she's just like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. And then she's hitting her vape right on the plane. And that's just kind of how she rolls.

Oh, you're bad. And wait, just kind of how she rolls. Oh, yeah. You're bad. And wait. And then you what is the title of your book? Oh, I'm glad you asked. Life is a lazy Susan of shit sandwiches available at your local bookstore. Like I said, bad influence, bad influence. I mean, that's a genius title. Thank you.

And you live up to it. You live up to it. So I'm just saying, I should not be around the two of you because it's bad. It's a bad combination. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what, we're a lot of fun. I see that.

You know what I see? E. Jean, you're making these declarative statements. Y'all are a bad influence. I don't want to be around you, but I can tell you're dying to get right here in the middle. I mean, Barack Obama, I tuned in the other day and you've got Hakeem Jeffries on your show. And I'm thinking maybe everybody should title their book shit. And I'm thinking, maybe everybody should title their book shit sandwich. Maybe this is the secret.

You want Hakeem Jeffries on your podcast? Well then, start titling your book. Let me see. With a cuss word. Life is a lazy Susan of shit sandwiches. I mean, that is, it's genius. It's genius. Well, thank you. You know what I think it is?

I think it's people are really just in the post Trump era, just want authenticity. You know, that especially combine that with a split screen of all the influencers on social media and this toxic positivity. Sometimes it's okay to be in a bad mood. Sometimes it's okay to say, I think that inspirational quote is stupid. Sometimes it's okay to feel frustrated because you have to feel it to get to the other side of it. And so that's kind of, we call our little audience Asshole Island. You know, we're a bunch of cynical optimists is what I would say. Yes. And I think you're doing a lot of good. I think you're helping people get

off their lazy asses and stand up and maybe leave their houses, maybe actually leave their houses and start to organize. I agree. We have to. We have to. We've got to. We've got to. E.G., when we were emailing with you before, you've got to dive into this whole thing. But you've had it with people telling you that they're not getting closure. Oh! No, no. You know, when the chap does not text you back, You know, when the chap does not text you back, that is closure. I agree. Right? When you don't hear back from the company you wanted to work for, you've had the job interview, you hear nothing.

That is closure. But if you're dying for closure, you're just dying for closure, then text that chat and say, screw you. It's over. I'm done. Done. If you want to close, you shut it down. You close it. If you want closure, you close it. Now, this is symptomatic of what's going on right now in the country We all want closure from Donald Trump

Good God, I know and all we do have you notice is sit around and bitch about it We want to shut him down if we want to close him down shut him down. If we want to close him down, like we were just saying, we have to be the ones to close him down. We, you, Angie, we have to be your listeners. We have to be the ones to shut him down, to close him down. There's one enclosure. It doesn't work. We have to close him down. We have to be the ones. I completely agree. And I feel like, you know, we have a large audience, a lot of LGBTQ plus people. And the thing that I see about this MAGA movement that bothers me is, you know, Trump's not a spring chicken and he's not in the best of health. So, you know, the clock's ticking

on that thing, right? You know, no, he's going to go to 100. No, no, no. 103, 104. I tell her and she gets so mad at me. I'm like, no, no, he's he's here. He's here. We know he will be. He's going to be emperor. He's here unless we shut it down. Jennifer, and she's like, post 100 because mean people live forever. No, and she's right. Do you think he's gonna live post 100? Cause mean people live forever? No, Mary Trump's my good friend. I love a lot of her. Oh, Empress. She's been on the pot before.

Oh, I gotta look up that episode. It's great, yeah. So she's gonna live forever. We've talked about her family. Donald's gonna live forever. We've talked about her family. Donald's going to live forever. We have to close him down. That means after your podcast, we actually stand up, get off our lazy asses, and walk outside

and look to see, maybe organize a little something with our neighbors. We just have to start, right? I mean. Micro level. I think, you know, we talk about this a lot, because people ask all the time, what can we do? What can we do?

And when you think about that, you think of something big. But what we advise our listeners to do is there are small things that we can do. Like, if you know somebody that's an independent, that's the most helpful person to talk to, somebody who's voted both ways. Maybe out of the three times they voted for Trump a couple of times. So that's the most helpful person to talk to. And I think about you need to make the case for humanity and humanizing people,

because what we were talking about before you came on is the MAGA movement, at first they're like, okay, we want to deport people, right? And so they want to deny them due process, all of that, We want to deport people, right? And so they want to deny them due process. All of that, set all of that aside. But now that's not enough anymore. Now they want them eaten by alligators. So we have to be allies with our brothers and sisters of color and that maybe don't speak English as their first language to humanize them to say, these people are human beings.

They're not criminals and they're escaping violent dictatorships to come here to work, to do the work that your fat ass won't do. And so let's help these people and support these people, and we need to start painting a picture of humanity and defending humanity. And that can be done on a person to person level, I think more effectively than the large picture

of a big giant organized march, which is also helpful. I like the idea of giving our fellow humans dignity. Right. Dignity. They crave it. That's why he's so attractive, because they feel like they belong to this cult, right? If we give them the dignity of recognizing that they're valuable human beings,

I think you're onto something. I think that is psychologically the key. Not giving them facts because they can't hear facts. You realize that half the country does not know that Donald Trump was held liable for sexual assault. Half the country does not know that. Half the country does not know he has to pay me $83.3 million. They don't know it.

It's not their fault. They do not know it because we have the Berlin Wall in this country with the Trumpers here and the... Okay. They just... Their Facebook feed doesn't tell them. They don't listen to your podcast. You know, they don't read the Times and they just.

So it's up to us and they won't listen to facts. They just won't believe it. So dignity. I like your idea. We treat them like human beings and we give them a place to belong because they need to belong because things aren't so good right now and they're feeling that. So if we do that, I think we're on the way back. I think that small step is brilliant. Yes, I agree. Can you share any, during the lawsuit, were you ever in the court with him?

Or no, did he just send lawyers? No, no, no, no. My book, not my type, is about the two trials against Donald Trump. It's about how an old lady, 81 years old, beat Donald Trump. And if I can beat Donald Trump, anybody can beat Donald. No, the book is a high comedy. So. We've got to get it.

No, it is a high comedy. I was surrounded by characters that Jonathan Swift himself could not have created. And so, of course, he was in the courtroom. We were sitting so close that if I reached back like this and leaned, I could have grabbed him by the hair. I wish it was. I wish. Oh, listen, we did worse though. I did, I did much worse than grabbing him by the hair, but it was, I could hear everything he was saying.

He was belittling his defense attorney, Alina Hobbs and her squire. She is the worst. Oh, she's beautiful though. She is beautiful. She's beautiful. And I hate to tell you, Angie Pumps, if I may. Yes. She is wildly intelligent. She just didn't know diddly squad about the

court. She just didn't know. But don't underestimate Alina Haba Esquire. She is she has cheekbones like tulip bulbs. She has eyes like a baby seal. She wore in court a diamond as big as a Ritz cracker. And Trump would sit at that defense table with her and belittle her. Wow. And say, hiss and spit and moan and groan at her. He'd say, stand up, stand up. Of course she's standing up. She doesn't even know why she's standing up. And my attorney, Robbie Kaplan, everybody stand up and salute. Yeah, she's amazing. Along with Angie, one of the great legal minds of the generation. That's correct. We cannot compare those two for sure. So we were stunned that she defended him as brilliantly as she could.

The jury was mesmerized by her voice. Really? Oh, she has a magnificent voice. It's very loud and terrifically arrogant. One of the things was she tried to convince the jury that I accused Donald Trump of sexual assault because, get this, I wanted to be famous. For telling the world that Donald, I was so dumb as to let Donald Trump sexually assault me. That was her thing. And so one of her main arguments was penis tweets. She found tweets that I wrote. I was an advice columnist for Elle for 27 years.

When this went down, you were the one in the public eye. He was just clawing to the top. Well, but she used those tweets where I was advising readers about that some occasionally a penis. And she would get up and she would apologize. She'd stand up. She said, I apologize, ladies and gentlemen. I apologize. I'm deeply embarrassed. I have to do it. And then she'd introduce a penis tweet.

So that's Alina Haba Esquire. I love the occasional penis advice. You've got to have it. We all need it, right? We all need it. Oh, I can't. So is your book already out? Girl, where have you been?

It's number two on the bestseller list. OK, I'm getting it immediately after this. You know, I just get so knee deep in this news cycle, EG, and you know, I'm just... Do not worry about it. It's also number one in audiobooks for women. I'm leaving town at the end of this week and that's going to be my summer vacation, but I can't wait. Okay. Wait a minute. I heard you on break talking about the kids being home and Angie actually said the phrase, it's like breastfeeding 24 hours

a day. And my kids are adults. I know, really. E.G. she had this mothering. Over mothering. It was, it was something to behold. Her children, and people think we're joking about this, she made her children drink out of sippy cups until they were 16 and 17 years old. 16 was the oldest. Because they spilled water, and I just was like, I can't clean up spills all the time.

Yeah, 16 was the oldest, though. It didn't go into 17. Not that that's better. I'm not saying that's better. Oh my god. And you're a divorce attorney. Yeah. And I mean, the original, we call, we like to call Donald Trump a titty baby because, you know, he's just always whining, complaining. 60 Minutes is mean to me. Fox News is mean to me. CNN is mean to me. Everybody's mean. It's just this non-stock, titty baby.

He would come out during the trial. He would be in the courtroom. After the trial, he'd always go and talk to the press. Right. And one time he stood there and said, I'm the one who's been damaged. I'm the one who's been hurt. I should get the money. I deserve the one who's been hurt. I should get the money.

I deserve the money. He looked like St. Sebastian tied to a tree with arrows shot through it. It was, that's what he actually thought. That's it. The complaining, the bitching, the moaning. I don't know why people don't get tired of it. They just don't get tired of him crying and whining all the time. The greatest hits, Russia, Russia, Russia.

I'm just like, shut the fuck up with your whining and complaining. It's bad enough when a toddler does it, but at least our brains compute they're a toddler. They don't know better. You're a grown ass man. Shut the fuck up with the complaining. I guess he's like the weak man's idea of a strong man. Oh no, very strong. They just jump on this grievance train.

To me, it's so off-putting, hearing somebody complain all the time. No, no, he's a strong man. When we were doing jury selection, we did mock juries before the trial. We held a trial before the trial, before mock jurors, and we discovered that the men loved a strong man. We also discovered that all the mock jurors agreed that, yes, a sexual assault could happen in Bergdorf in 1996. And yes, one of those people would be Donald Trump and one would be E.G. and Carol in 1996

in a Bergdorf dressing room. But there was one thing they all disagreed on. They all thought that I was begging him for it. See, I think this is really telling because I think this is the way why he gets away with so much impunity because he unlocks the worst impulses of men. And he unlocks the worst impulses and a lot of men think, oh, everybody wants to have sex with me. I'm so great. You know, the delusions of grandeur.

Then you have the women that suffer from internalized misogyny that support this type of thing. But he unlocks everybody's worst impulses. And I've never in my life seen a person that once he impacts their life, they become worse human beings. Like look at Marco Rubio. He was a right winger and a Republican, but now he's like, you know, just a horrible person. I never

thought Ted Cruz could be any more worthless or any less fuckable than he is, but Donald Trump made him even more so, E. Jean. It's unbelievable. So yes, we love we changed. We changed our argument totally after the trial, my jury. We Robbie was going to present the case. She chose our strongest, most macho male lawyer to present our case. And we had seven men on our jury, seven. It was. The women all believe me, the men like, eh, you know. So that we chose Mike Farrar, the duke of Farrar,

who was so maddening and so wonderful. Well, we ended up winning. So, you know, it are- Two times. Oh, hello. I'm so glad you reminded me that. The strong man, the strong man, we want a strong man as a leader. I guess it's inside of us.

I guess it's an atavistic thing. You know, everybody loves a strong man. I don't know how we fight this, you are just shutting him down Jennifer a few minutes ago with your you had it thing on Trump. If we would all just go outside and say that, you know, 10 times a day, maybe we can get something done. Yeah, I do. I think on a personal level, if you're around a Trump or say, God, he's such a whining baby.

I've never heard somebody cry so much. No, wait, that this is an idea. Why don't we all say what you just said, and we'll just say it at certain times of the day, we all go out at a certain time, we all scream it and then go in the house. That's a great idea. And we could do the exact same post, you know, because a lot of people don't leave their house, they're just on their phone all the time. We all did a coordinated attack via social media because we all know he can't get his

phone out of his pocket because he's bored to death. Let's do this! Yes, everybody posted exactly this time. Donald Trump is a whining titty baby. All he does is whine. Okay, do it. Right. Let's do it. Let's do it. I think you should step up. It's a woman of action. Angie and Jennifer, you should step up and lead this. We will. We'll organize it.

It's like banging the pans during the pandemic. I think it would get everybody some hope too and fill a sense of unity. Okay, guys, when Pumps and I started this podcast, it seemed like we had to figure out everything on our own. Scripts, show lineup, setting, filming schedule schedule logos. It was so overwhelming. Every day seemed to introduce a new decision that needed an answer that Pumps and I had no answer for. So we had to find the right tool that helped us. And what helped us was Shopify. They simplify everything and it is such a game changer for millions of businesses. And Shopify is our absolute favorite partner and we would be nothing without them. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of

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Okay. Had It or Hit It dick pics. Girl, you know, if I wanted a dick pic, I would like to receive a dick pic. But it's like the cat bringing in a dead rat and dropping it right in your lap. So I've had it with dick pic. Had it. I mean, what's amazing to me is I have gotten just a very few in my life and then I've had friends send me theirs and I'm just like, what the fuck? Did they think that your response is like, oh baby, I want to come ride it?

I mean, like it's so shocking. Wait, hold up. You've received dick pics? Yes, just one. What? It was on Instagram, like a direct message. What? Somebody's DMing you dick pics on Instagram?

It's a long time ago when I first got to Instagram, I don't even know who it was. Like it wasn't somebody I knew. It was just like a rando. No, that's right. you dick pics on Instagram? But this is a long time ago when I first got to Instagram, I don't even know who it was. Like it wasn't somebody I knew, it was just like a rando. No, that's right, random dick pics. That's the essence of a dick pic. And I was just like what? I was like so terrified, but then I have a girlfriend that gets them all the time

and she'll send them and we're all just like, she'll send them in a group text with no warning. And we're just all like, Jesus Christ. Why did you put this in here? Well, we know why men send them, because they think that women are why are like they are. Men think they would like to get a picture of our breasts. So what we'll do is here's a gift, I'll give you this,

and then you'll give me a picture of your vagina. That's how they think. They just, you know what, if they send us a dick pic of a dick we know and that we have warm feelings towards, that would be a nice dick pic, but not a random, like Angie received, not a rando. No, so terrifying.

Okay, had it or hit it Aphrodite. Oh, love it. Hit it. Aphrodite is the name of my shotgun, which I, uh huh. Yep. Somebody did their research. Yep. Yep. Old Aphrodite sits by my bed. That's what I do. Yeah. Do you target practice or anything with your shotgun for kicks? Well, I haven't recently, but I have, of course, because I have to know how to shoot. Right, because they were coming after you

like crazy. I mean, it was terrifying. Yeah, hence Aphrodite. Okay. Had it or hit it? Revenge? Well, I think we've got to, I think we've got to hit it. I think we've got to hit it because I think this is the last stand. It's being torn apart at the seams, our country. Yeah. Now, are we going to sit still for that? No, we have to have a little bit of iron in our guts. And what gives that feeling?

Revenge. I agree. Okay. Had it or hit it cheerleading. Oh, can't you tell? Look at me. I'm sitting on a ball right now. Oh, you are? Keeping your core all tight.

Wait, pump the brakes. Throughout the filming of this whole podcast, you've been doing a core exercise? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm doing this, ladies. I'm doing this. That's what I'm doing. I'm doing. That's impressive, E. Jean.

That's impressive. I don't have great core strength, but that, I'm doing. That's impressive, E.G. That's impressive. I don't have great core strength, but that, I'm impressed. No, and also it gives the energy, it gives the energy. Yes, I was, get ready to fall and bend to me, Miss Cheerleader USA. Oh my gosh. That's impressive. Ladies. Ready, okay. I mean, wow. Oh my gosh! Royalty! Ladies! Ready?

Okay! I mean, wow! 1964! A trailblazer at that! You know, Pumps here was an all-American cheerleader, her cheerleading camp, and had a hyper-extended toe touch back in the 80s. Wait a minute! I, I, Angie, what this is the two of us. I knew we were bonded, E. Jean. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. You

can do the toe. Now, which one? No, wait back, back in the day we called them toe. I think a Russian, a Russian. We called it a Russian. Yeah, we call it Russian. And then there was the tiger with the hands behind you, you touch the legs behind you when you do the C jump. Yeah, no, I never did that. What about a herky? Did you do a herky? Oh, a herky.

A herky came to our cheerleading thing. Herky Herkimer, wasn't that his name? Herkimer, yes. I did not know that was real. That's why it's called the herky because the guy that invented it, I think his name was like Herbie Herkimer or Herky Herkimer or something like this. Yeah, he's why it's called the Herky because the guy that invented it, I think his name was like Herbie Herkimer or Herky Herkimer or something like this. Yeah, he's from my era. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was the contest was down in Cypress Gardens, Florida. And part of the Miss Cheerleader USA contest was we modeled, are you ready for this,

southern gowns. Are you ready for this? Southern gowns. Shut up. So it was a pageant where you did cheerleading and then models. Yes! Love it. That is some drag queen shit right there.

I mean, that is straight up drag show. I'm here for it. I won that, man. Oh, I bet you did. She wasn't fucking around. She went down there. She got two names kicked out. And we water skied. We watered. That was another thing in the competition. Yeah, no, not in the competition, but part of the, you know, thing. They got

me. The water skiing. Were you doing like a pyramid? Like that would be the thing. But you know, half of us could barely get up on the skis. So that we did that. But they were, yeah, the water skiing was part of the pageant. It was brilliant. Oh my gosh, that's hilarious. I love it. I got a big scholarship. Oh, wonderful.

Excellent. Yeah. No, and it was the first national championship that Indiana University had ever won. So I was like, you were hot shit. You were a big bitch on campus. Yeah. Oh, you have no idea. Walking around there. HBC. Yeah, that's it. Oh, I love it. OK, had it or hit it, Jeff Bezos. Boy, I am divided on Jeff Bezos because he's done so much good. He's put books in the hands of so many people who never read before.

I mean, your book has been an Amazon bestseller. Your latest has been an Amazon bestseller. And so it's providing you with income so you can feed your families. So handshake and breastfeed 24 hours a day. No, I'm just I'm upset about his dark term. Yeah. Yes.

I'm just very upset about it. It makes no sense. I just I mean, Laura Sanchez's boobs make more sense than Jeff Bezos turning dark. Here's the thing, Ijin. This goes back to my point when you were talking about the male jurors. Something about Trump unlocks the worst impulses in people. Jeff Bezos, what does he have? Two, $300 billion? Let's say he pays $20 million more a year in taxes. It's not going to affect jack shit in his life, but something about proximity and interacting with Trump makes people worse. And or his

supporters, the more they justify and excuse the titty baby, the whining, the immoral, fucked up shit this man does, the worse they become. I've never seen anything like it. I haven't either. Jeff Bezos, think about it. You could leave your thumbprint on this globe as I was a billionaire and I did all of these things, but I decided to pay my employees more than anybody else and change the way we pay laborers.

But no, like Elon Musk, him, they call him now, Maga Mark Zuckerberg. Think about this, Mark Zuckerberg, gajillionaire, goes on Joe Rogan, I'll never get over this, I talk about it all the time, and he says, I'm just so relieved that Trump is back in power because I feel like men have been neutered in the workplace. And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? You neutered? Are you kidding me? The whole system is set up for you to just walk into it.

It's crazy how much worse people become after interacting or- He said that? Yes. Mark Zuckerberg, neutered. Wow. people become after interacting or... He said that? Yes! He said that. Mark Zuckerberg neutered. Wow. I'm like... Here's...

This is why we're... Listen, you know that $83.3 million that I'm being given by Trump? Plus interest. Plus interest. I'm going to be giving it to help women get our rights back. That's where that $83.3 million is going. You know, that's it. I don't need the money. You know, that is not right. I'm just stunned that Mark Zuckerberg said that, that his reality is so warped. Right. Totally. That's the thing. But then

juxtapose, we were talking about Jeff Bezos, juxtapose Jeff Bezos with his ex-wife, Mackenzie. Oh, salute. She's donating money left and right. You know what she's donating to? A lot of philanthropists don't donate to this. She's donating to social justice causes. She's donating. Yes, yes.

And if you look at the money that she's giving, and she's quietly doing it. Right. She's got out in the news, written out the city of Venice, having some circle jerk of a wedding that's just obscene. She's quietly donating. And then you look at Melinda Gates and then you look at the ex-wife or the widow of Steve Jobs. And I can't remember her name, but she owns the Atlantic.

She owns the Atlantic and she's making sure journalism goes out. And so here now we add E. Jean Carroll to this list of boss bitch philanthropists that are putting their money where their mouth is and donating to the causes that really lift us all up. And I love you for that so much. Thank you. Well, thank you, Jennifer, because you know what? We've got I've got everything I need.

I don't need it anymore. What's it? What do you? We don't need more stuff. Yeah. But women need us. We've lost half our rights in the South. We live there.

Yeah. Oh, that's right. You're in a red state. Yeah. Oh, what are abortion rights? How are they doing in Oklahoma? There's none. None. Zero.

Oh, are you at the 13 weeks, the 12 weeks or the no week? No exceptions. No exceptions. Not right, not into incest, nothing. We got to turn that around. This we've got, no, this is not, how, how far do the women in Oklahoma have to travel? Well- Oklahoma's a big state. It's a big state, so they have to travel to either like New Mexico, Colorado, or Kansas. But here's what's so tragic about these laws, is they're not an attack on- Angie has a daughter, I have two sons, she has a couple of sons too, but out of the two of us, there's only

one daughter. If her daughter has an eptochet pregnancy or something that she would need to have, seek care, for whatever her own personal reasons, Angie's going to buy her plane ticket and she's going to fly her somewhere and she's going to receive the care she needs. So this isn't, it's not just an attack on women. It's an attack on poor women. And when you think about what Maga Christian values. Ah! I heard you do that. Oh, this is your thing. These Maga Christians, E. Jean, these Maga Christians, it is an attack on the marginalized

and the cruelty. And I'm not religious, and I don't know why my atheist parents raised me in the bubble belt, but nonetheless they did. But these MAGA Christians are so antithetical to the central character of the Bible. He spoke out against the accumulation of wealth. He spoke for lifting people out of poverty. He spoke for helping the sick, helping the needy. And then you look at that dipshit Moses Mike Johnson, the most religious speaker of the house we've ever had and he votes for that abomination of a bill, which is this whole MAGA movement is an attack on the poor. And if I were a Christian, I would be so furious at these MAGA Christians for- But they don't know it, Jennifer. They do not know it. It's not their fault. They're in their news bubble and nobody can get through.

That's why, as you say, facts are not going to get through. Treating them with dignity and then offering them a way out of this cult where we see them will help. So your first idea, that's what we do because it's happening all over the world. You know that. No, no, no. It's happening everywhere. But there's also been, surprisingly, and this has given me some hope, there's also been, ever since this acceleration of Trump's second term, there's also been a Trump backlash globally, where countries that were heading kind of towards an authoritarian, those authoritarian wannabes are losing. So I'm hopeful that we can find the humanity that connects us all because it's just, you know, it's, it's so crazy to watch. I talked about this earlier. We were

filming, you know, you go about your life and you hear a song that you like and you're kind of dancing in your car or something and you're throwing a ball with your dog and then it hits you like alligator Alcatraz, like what, we're doing that? Yeah, no. And then it hits you and then it's this really weird slow march into fascism and authoritarianism because so much of my life can feel the same and I'm doing the same thing. It is the same. Your life is the same and I'm doing the same thing. It is the same. Your life is the same. Right.

Meanwhile, in LA, they're dragging fathers who are hardworking away from their children. The guys are wearing masks and they've got bulletproof vests on. We don't know who they are. They come in and drag fathers away. Then they drag the mother away. The kids are left with nobody.

It's un... And we're not... Everybody in the United States is not out marching. I'm really. God, are we fucking lazy? I'm telling you, we've got our phones and we've got our entertainment or watching Netflix and we won't go out because his father is being dragged out. You know, we just put it down about, we got it. No, it's something's the matter with Americans. We're been entertained into, we're hypnotized.

We just don't stand up anymore. I, you know, it's just amazing. I mean, really. Okay. Your very last one, had it or hit it? The United States of America. Oh, my favorite country. Oh, I love the U.S. Well, then I wish her well.

She's under attack. That's true. I agree. But here's the thing. I am an old lady and I beat Donald Trump twice. There is hope. There is hope. I completely agree with you, E. Jean. This has been one of my favorite podcasts we've ever had. Me too. Me too.

I just adore you and am just so in awe of your bravery and your positivity and just the overall energy you get put out into the world. And thank you for going down a little bit of a cynical track with us. Oh, I don't know if I can get my old self back. I have such a bad influence. I have to go find the old EG. I don't know.

We need her. We need her. I don't know. Angie, what are we going to do? The dog is staring at me like, who are you? Who's this bitch? Angie, thank you so much. And listener, you can go get her book, Not My Type, which I'm going to do immediately after recording. Thank you so much. And we'll be in touch to coordinate our online protests. Yes. That's what we're going to do. We're going to do it.

We can start it. Why not? Why not ask? What? What else have we got to do? That's right. All right. Have a great, great week and we love you. Thanks, EG. We loved having you. Bye. I loved it. Bye. L-O-V-E exclamation points, bold print, underline, italicized. Okay, here's the thing. She was the big deal during the time that Donald Trump sexually assaulted her. She had a column, Ask Eugene. It was like putting Dear Abby DeShane. I mean, it was like the cool Carrie Bradshaw column-in. Like, she was able to talk about penises and stuff.

She's smart, she's funny, she's a badass. Fucking looks fantastic. 81? I think 82 now. She is so attractive. Attractive. She's, I mean, and then what about that razor shop? And she did the whole thing on an exercise ball.

That's unbelievable. And then just throws out funny lines like I give occasional penis advice. I was about to fall over in my chair. It was just so dry and the way, you know, as one needs to sometimes it's occasional penis device. All right, listener, speaking of books, not only get E. Jean's book, get ours, but she was so sweet to have researched that. Life is a lazy Susan of shit sandwiches. Pumps, tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. I'll tell you what I've had it with.

Let's hear it. I've had it with that. Listen up, patriots, gay triots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Cacaw! A little bit more enthusiasm. Cacaw! That's it, that's, that's,

Cacaw! That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.