I've Had It - Rock Hard Denial

Episode Date: March 26, 2026

Corgis for Congress!Order our book, join our Substack, shop our merch, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast.Thank you to our sponsors:Paka: To grab your PAKA hoodie, go to https://PAKAAPPAREL.COM.Freedom From Religion Foundation: Visit https://FFRF.US/FIGHT or text the word, “FIGHT” to five eleven five eleven to learn more and join. Message and data rates may apply.Follow Us:I've Had It Podcast: @IvehaditpodcastJennifer Welch: @mizzwelchAngie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumpsKiley Josey @kileyjoseySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready, one, two, three. Patriots, gay, triots, they triots, black triots, brown triots, triple trumpers, can do what pumps? All right, pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with, and I know I've probably said this before, because it is one of my biggest haddits of all time. And that is when you're on the phone and you say, okay, well, I know. need to run or I need to go or I've got to let you go and the person says, just one more thing. Just one more thing.

Not one more thing. I said I had to go. That drives me insane. I think it's controlling. And because I'm working in therapy on my boundaries, my new thing is I don't have time for one more thing. I've got to let you run. But can you imagine being that like, I don't know, what is it, narcissistic lack of

self-awareness, selfish, controlling, what is it? Well, I have to say, sometimes I've been on the phone with you, and we're literally in the middle of something and very important points that I have to make. And I'm only 75% with the points. And then you start this, I got to go. And I'm like, no, you're not going. I still have 15 more percent to tell you or 25% more to tell you. And then you hang up.

And then I call you right back. And I'm like, no, I wasn't done. So to me, it's about completion. However, however, the specific type of person that you're talking about, a phone lollygagger, that is very real. And that is really problematic. And I have a person in my life that does this to me, Josh. I was going to say, your husband? Yeah.

And I'll start. I'll go, well, I'll start closing language at first. Right. He's a lot more sensitive than I am. And so like you can go, I gotta go and you hang up with a cup. I go, you're such a fucking bitch. I didn't finish my story and you're like, okay. Neither one of us is sensitive about it.

I cannot do that with Josh, right? Because he's a lot more sensitive, not with other people, only with me. And so I'll start, okay, well, I am, and he goes, oh, are you wanting to get off the phone? I'm no, we're near. done. I'm just, I'm just gearing up for the conversation. Mama. And I'm just sitting there like, you know, clenching my jaw, kegel, shoulders, core exercise, isometric out the wazoo. And he's really bad about this really bad. And he likes to be on the phone when he drives from point A to point B. Yes, Bill, those full 15 minutes. So who call me at the beginning of the drive.

And he wants to keep me on until the very end where he can hang up the phone, turn off his car, and walk out and walk into his appointment. And sometimes, like, I've been on the phone. So then I'm like, into the conversation, he wants to abruptly end it. But he's a phone. He's a user. He uses people on the phone for entertainment. Right.

You're entertaining him from point A to point B, giving him something to do with this time. Here's, I hate when somebody calls you out on your closing lane. which one of my kids does that to me when I'm like okay right he's like oh so you're you're done talking to me you're bored with me and I've just gotten to the point now I'm like yeah I am I am done we've we've covered that all I go yeah we're we're landing the plane this is we're wrapping after we're done you know I'm I don't want to hurt your feelings that's not what this is about but we need to get we need to end the phone call now it's ending now and I think that's if you can't tell your family and your friends that then who can't

detail. And I would even say I've gotten to where if I'm on the phone with something, placing it to go order and then they read it back and then they have more follow-up questions. I'll just say, I need for this phone call to end right now. I'll be there. We're done. I'll just say I need for this call to end. If I'm on the phone with an airline and then at the end, they're like, okay, well, I'm like, are we done here because I need for this call to end? I need to end right now. And I'm speaking from the I and from my knees. your therapist about that. The eye and what I need. And what I need is to end. To be over. Yeah. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Okay. There is a jackhammer and you'll probably hear it in

the background outside of my apartment. And it is jack hammering and jack hammering and jack hammering and jack hammering. You hear it? Do you hear it? I didn't hear it this morning. I did hear it a little bit earlier, but not. Do you hear it right now? So it's jack hammering and I looked out the window and it's, I mean, they're going to be going for a while. I think you could be a two to three day project. And right now there's two jack hammers going at one time, which I appreciate that they would double the jackhammer to double the time of demolition. But I've really had it with this jackhammer. Yeah. Do they stop it at night or do you know yet? It's today the first step. No, at today's day one, we're on day one of the jackhammer.

And the one thing I'll say about New York is they don't, there's no lollygagging or pussy fitting. Like they'll start this thing. They got two jackhammer's going. It'll be wrapped up in probably two to three days. If this project was going on in Oklahoma, it'd be a couple of weeks, because you're going to have, well, I'll tell you what, my guy can't get here to Wednesday. Yes.

And he's got a head out early because his wife is having a little procedure. Nothing life-threatening, but just a little procedure, you know. You know, she's getting one of them pap smears. You know, they're going into all this painstaking deal. And that's another time where I want to go, I need for this conversation to end. I want to out of it. I want to end the conversation. Nothing gets me more than unsolicited information about surgeries and medical procedures

and medical events, which is really a mind fuck for me, considering I'm married to a hypochondriac. Yeah, but he's not always been a hypochondriac, I don't feel like. That's a relative I would say, I would say the last six, seven years we've been really committed to the hypochondriac. But you've been together for like 30. So, I mean, I think the hypochondri is an offshoot of the sobriety. Something to focus on. Because addicts are so focused on themselves and so then it's in their moods. And so the, here's the deal. I'm going to go ahead and make the hypothesis now, as I always do. Hypochondria is a common symptom of sobriety.

Now we'll watch and it will show up in the internet in about a month or two. Somebody will listen and then steal all my scientific ideas and do the study on it. And then we'll find out that yes, recovering addicts have a higher propensity to hypochondria. And I'll get no credit for any of it. But that's okay. I'll keep my ear to the ground in recovery circles if I see an up shoot in the hypochondria. They're there. I'm certain of it because it's just addiction is the most selfish disease on the planet

because when they're using, it's all about them using. And then when they're sober, it's all about their recovery. It's all about them, them, them, them. And so the hypochondria just goes straight into that. It's like perfect because the hypochondri is about them. It's a common thing. Mm-hmm. All right, welcome to I've had it, America's Top DEI Podcast.

If you hear the humming in the background, that is a jackhammer, not to be confused with like little jackhammer maga men. I was thinking like a gyrator, not to be confused with the maga gyrator. Yeah. All right, Kylie. Hi. Hi. Hi. I've got, well, really quick, Jen, I just Googled if there's a link between hypochondria

and drug addiction. That's a heart. 100%. Oh yeah, there's hits on hits on Google. I knew it. This one says it's an illness, anxiety in itself, and often people with hypochondria also suffer from drug addiction. Oh, wow.

I knew it. It makes perfect sense. It just because the the nature of addiction, whether you're in it, it actively or in recovery is a default setting of you always operate from the position of yourself. Right. And the focus on self is next level from the average non-addicted person. That's fair. Yeah.

Okay. I've got a couple reviews. This one is five stars titled Good Trouble. And JBX writes, found this podcast on TikTok one day and never stopped listening. not for the sensitive or the titty babies or the easily offended. Jennifer, I nominate you to be in charge of all interviews of government officials and pumps. You're in charge of deconstructing as many people as you can. Love y'all.

Keep up the good fight from J.B. parentheses, not Pritzker, but just as charming. I like it. J.B. I like it. Pumps you do. You need to get on the deconstructing. Just get on it.

Maybe I can. Here's what I need to do. If I was really, really good at it. I would start grifting off of it. That's the next step. Then you're just, then you're just what you were before. Then you're the exact thing, fucking broken person that you were. No, in the exact same way.

But just against what I used to be for. Right, but it's still the same fucking thing. Yeah, but the grifting. Yeah. Yeah. This one is five stars titled Mega Retail Bible Thumping. I wish I'd, would have had the foresight back in the day to fleece these fools.

Create my own religion and broadcast it. I'm an atheist, but I'm amazed by the soft-minded people. And thankfully, Pumps got out and is standing up to her mom. Finally. Finally. How's it going, Pumps? How's it going with the... I haven't talked to her.

I keep meeting to call her and bring up Easter, but I just haven't done it yet. But I'll do it this week. I'll have a full report next week. You got... I mean, the listener is making a... It's a big development. Yeah, it is. And really?

I just, I don't think that either one of us can properly articulate how terrified of my mother I was as an adult that did not live with her. I don't think anybody that's listening to this can understand like the Iron Fist, the authoritarian. nature like her mother would walk into her house she was married with children walk into her house uninvited unannounced open up her mail yes go through her credit card bills bills and ask her about her spending and she's 40 40 40 40 never stand up to her and go get your fucking pause off of my bills it's none of your fucking business I don't live with you anymore like if My parents did some shit like the makeup. It's not your business.

Like my dad is a biggest penny pincher on the planet. I mean, like I remember growing up, we would go to 7-Eleven after school and would go in and my dad would grab a Pepsi and my brother and sister and I would grab a Coke and he'd go, we all must be making more money than I make because Pepsi's five cents cheaper. We're all just like roll our eyes and walk our Coke can. hands back to the 7-Eleven refrigerator and then go get a Pepsi because it's five cents cheaper. And but if my dad got in and he was a straight, he was a pretty strict father, but he very much is about his, his children being autonomous adults and minding his own business. If he ever fucking opened up, I'd be like, get your fucking nosy ass out of my house. Pumps you guys, the fear this woman has like, I've, you,

You've never seen, I've never seen anybody as scared as their parents, not even a child, as scared of their parent as you are of your mother ever. I've never seen anything like it. I don't know. So much better now. No, I just the picture cannot be painted enough of how. So like the baby steps I've taken and some have been big steps. But I mean, it's still, it probably on her deathbed, I'll still be trying to set boundaries and stuff. I think, yeah, I think probably when she's in the grave, it's something that you're still

probably are getting some, like, is she going to know? Is she going to find out? You know, I don't do that. The rumination on it is, it's tons better. It's tens better, believe it or not. Really. I'm really proud of you because that's, that was such a, like a dark passenger everywhere we went was like, and what I really hated it for you is the double life that you had to live.

You had to be one person who you. You weren't for her. Yep. Like this character. And then you got to be your real person, which kind of set you up for a lot of bad stuff, sadly. Yeah. And I was just thinking today, my older dogs having some health problems.

So he's not going to school. So I walked him. And I was thinking on my walk. I was like the denial, living in denial and being able to deny yourself things, like that's generational in my family too. If you don't want to know about it, it just doesn't exist. Like, I can't, I know that that, you know, the sweep it under the rug and all that is really strong in my family. Or what is it, family of origin?

God, you would think with all the therapy, family of origin would roll off the day. It really is. I'll give, I'll give an anecdotal story. Okay. So Angie's X had a proclivity for. sexual entertainers and workers. And everybody knew it. It was a well-known, discussed thing. And he would host these golf tournaments with sex workers present and performing both dances and sex acts. And I one time, Angie and I didn't know each other very well, but we're starting to know each other

more in the golf tournament was going on. And I said, I have heard kind of some bad stuff about that tournament, Angie, because I was so shocked because she's like, Miss, you need to go to Bible study with me and she's making cookies and like all this shit. And it's like it's like June Cleaver's shit. And then her husband, his license plate said Spanky, SPAN, N-K-Y. And he hosted these sex-fueled golf tournaments, right? And they were notorious.

Everybody knew about him. So I said to her, I go, hey, I mean, how did you get to know you like, you know the Bible study and all this shit that you do. How do you feel about your husband's scholarship? I don't want to know. I don't need to know. I don't want to know one thing about it. I don't want to know one thing. I remember I was like, that's weird. That doesn't make it not happen. Like we could genuinely like that doesn't mean that he's not going to hear curbs. And so I was we didn't we we were like in the dating phase of our friendship. So I was kind of like okay then when she finds out

conclusively that he does this extracurricular activities with sex workers. She likes to me and she's like, I had no idea. I'm like, what was the license plate that says spanky or the sex-filled golf church? She was dead fucking serious. Like she was dead. Of course you knew. Of course you knew.

This is willful denial like it didn't fit in it. But my. God, how much you've grown. I'm wondering if the willful denial, maybe instead of denial, the blanket statement I made earlier about being in my general, it's willful denial. It's willful. It's willful. If you were hooked up to a polygraph and true serum, just your husband fuck hookers,

and you said, no, you would have failed it. You would have 100% failed it because you knew because you got super defensive. I don't want to know. I don't want to know. That's a reaction. There's a component in that. I really, I mean, and I'm not trying to bring everything back to religion. I know, but there's a part of that I feel like is linked to the super religious part of my life.

Like you only believe what you want to believe and then you deny the existence of the rest. And so I feel like I don't know to what level, but to me that's interconnected. So it brings me to my point of willful denial. It was totally willful. Right, right. Totally willful. Yeah. That's pretty a lot of juicy tea, but it's in our book, guys.

I'm not outing this stuff like she's written about this. So it's in our book, which you can buy, speaking of grifting. Right. Life is a lazy Susan of shit sandwiches where she talks about spanky, broken crack with hickers. I do think, I don't think that license plays. So you have to listen to the podcast and read the book to get all the details. Is the license plate? Is that not in the book?

Spanky? I think it's in there. It is. Okay. Can I ask what, why Spanky? Well, that is that. But like why. And what I was told is completely different.

And he just put it on his license. Yes. He was out. He drove to the mega church. Yeah. He drove to the mega church with the family and the kids. And the license place said Spanky. And I hate part.

personalized tags. I just excuse so much. Let me just tell you, this is a true story, Kylie. We would sit in the mega church and he would tell me so-and-so's fucking around on his wife. So-and-so's fucking around on her husband. He would go through all of the congregants. And he was the worst offender by far. Combine all of their dallances in a little jar. And his was so much bigger. But that kind of, I mean, that's the kind of shit that was happening. I think that's really common though, Pops. I think that instance where you have the white picket fence forward facing, we're not going to tell, we're not going to speak truths. We're going to deny reality. And we're going to project to the Joneses that we are this godly or this perfect or whatever family.

I think it's really common, especially in white. suburbia. And then behind the scenes, you got a little spanker, you got a little crack. You got, you got, you got this. People are broken. People are broken. And we project that we have to, we have this stupid give a shit that we care what other people think of our families instead of really living and being with our families. So some people, I think by end of this, well, everybody thinks we're a nice family instead of really being and enjoying and not giving a fuck what anybody else thinks, but literally enjoying and being a nice family. And what other families think of your family is none of your fucking business. That's their business. But I think so many Americans, white suburban, upper middle class, get caught up into this.

If we have the appearance of being a good family, then therefore we are a good family. And it's bullshit. It's just superficial bullshit. No, I completely agree. And that was one thing that really, like, I tried to pay it forward. People that I really didn't even know that well would come and talk about what was going on in their marriages because they knew, A, there was no way I could possibly be judgmental based on what my life was like. And so it made, they had somebody to talk to. And that really, like you pay, you gave them.

that to me, a judgment-free zone of let's just talk about it and be real. And so that is one of the gifts in going through all this thing is to be able to be there for another person. Yeah, totally, totally. Because when that veneer is broken, that, oh, my God, it's not perfect. Because what you're doing with that veneer is you're living in judgment. That means you're judging everybody else by the veneer of their family. And once that veneer is broken, then you need to go to somebody.

that's judgment-free, that's like, like, man, we're all fucking broken. Right. I always think when I drive through, like, nice neighborhoods, I always think behind every single one of these doors are just secrets. And, and listen, I think generally people can be happy. I think that megachurch culture, white, upper middle class megachurch culture, is a really specific broken culture. These are the people that turn out in droves to vote for to triple Trump.

And I think they have, there's a combination of occulty religion, evangelical Christianity, combined with like this capitalism, combined with appearance culture, you know, like, if we look good and if we do matching Christmas pajamas pictures, then we're going to all our family, you know, and it's just, it's bullshit. The real moments are the moments that aren't on Instagram. The real moments are the moments that you have. Like I can tell that our family's been through so much. You guys are talking about pumps, but Josh and I have been through so fucking much. And just this past spring break, the whole the kids, everybody was here. And I called Josh Nagel. We didn't take one family photo. And I thought, you know what? That means we're living. We're enjoying each other.

There was not a moment where we thought, oh my God, we better look like we're the happy family. Not that I wish we had the family photo. Right. But it's like we had one of the best spring breaks ever. We were all in New York and it was so much fun. The weather was like glorious two or three days and we had the best time. And we didn't have to do any. I realized like we didn't take one fucking photo of all of us together.

And then I realized, okay, that's really great. That's growth. Like who gives us shit? Because what we felt and what we experienced is it's in here. Yeah. In the heart. Because of. Okay, I've had it. I've had it with people using religion as a hall pass to control everyone else's lives.

I've had it with politicians pretending the Constitution is optional when it comes to church and state. The First Amendment is actually very clear. The government does not get to pick a religion or force one on the rest of us, period. But right now, Christian nationalists are trying to shove their beliefs into public schools, into laws, into courts, and we're not doing this. The freedom from religion foundation is one of the few groups actually fighting back. They take these cases on. They enforce the Constitution, and they protect everyone's freedom of conscience, not just one groups.

This isn't anti-religion. It's anti-forced religion. If you're also done with this nonsense, join them. Visit ffrf.us slash fight or text the word fight to learn more and join. Text fight to 511, 511 and help protect a country that belongs to all of us. Because honestly, enough is enough. Go to ffrf. dot us slash fight or text fight to 511 511 message and data rates may apply.

All right, listener, what's softer than cashmere and warmer than wool? It's not a riddle. It is alpaca. And I am so obsessed with alpaca. I recently got the hoodie in pebble from packa. For years, I've been on the hunt for that go-to natural food. fiber hoodie that I can always pack and I know it'll stay comfortable no matter what I'm doing. And then finally I found it with this alpaca hoodie from PACA.

Packa makes outdoor and lifestyle apparel from alpaca fiber, one of the world's most sustainable natural fibers. Their best selling hoodie is softer than cashmere, warmer than wool and breathable. This hoodie is built for real life, thermo-regulating, odor resistant, durable and made two last. So listener, if you've been thinking about leveling up your hoodie game, this is your sign to do it now. To grab your pack a hoodie, go to www.com. That's www.paka apparel.com. That's www. p-a-a-a-a-a-a-apparel.com. Okay. So moving along, oh my God, we have a story, a news story that I want to share. with everybody that I'm completely obsessed with. Kylie popped this up. Seven dogs were stolen from

their owners in China and they've gone viral after escaping from an illegal transport truck and making their way home. They traveled around 17 kilometers together led by a corgi across highways and fields now safely back with their respective owners. Pop up the video. Okay, so these dogs all live in the same neighborhood and they all hang out together because everybody knows that dogs are pack animals. So here are these seven dogs. They're all BFFs. The German Shepherd is injured.

So they make a wall around the German Shepherd because when they jumped out of the truck from the thieves that were taking them to the dog meat market. Is that what they were doing? Yes. They escaped in the back of the truck and then one of them chewed and then allowed the gate to open. all escape the german shepherd gets injured put this back up so they're all play that video again so they're all um they're all hovered around and the fucking corgi is the ringleader and that little corgi with those little short legs now that's funny sniffed the whole way home look at that his

name translated from chinese to english is big fat big fat on the rabbit hold big fat this is the type of leadership this world fucking needs right now big fat takes care of the injured and the sick and he doesn't have little man short man syndrome like mark wayne mullen like stephen miller he doesn't have teeny weeny syndrome it's a littlest dog with like two inch long legs and it said you know what i'm going to be the fucking leader today i'm going to march that sick crippled german shepherd home and i'm not going to leave one person behind we're not leaving the german shepherd one everybody's going to make it home because we're not going to be dog meat today and pop up these photos of these dogs here they are so people were filming them and so that little corgi so here's

what i start thinking about because everything's so fucking political right now right it's like who's our corgi who is our corgi that is going to lead us out of this like that little corgi just said you know what i i'm going to put myself in a leadership position i'm going to march all of our asses home. My name is Big Fat the Corgi. I'm not fucking with anybody. I'm going to make sure this German Shepherd gets home, gets medical care. We're not going to be dog meat. Who's the corgi? Who is our corgi? I'm really wrecking my brain now that you said that. I can't think of one person. I can't think of one either. I mean, in my mind, it has to be a woman. Kind of. I don't know. I mean, I would love for it to be a woman. Listen, I take a dead pig.

right now if the dead pig had the leadership skills of big fat the corgi yeah fuck we'd take the fucking corgi we'd take big fat over here lead us out i would i would i mean just these dogs fucking corgi showing more leadership than any fucking american politician right now look at that look at big fat look at big fat look at the compassion the leadership the commitment the dedication pack leader. Where are you fucking Hawkeem and chuckles? Take a lesson from Big Fat. Big Fat the Corgi knows what to do.

It stands on business. I love that. All right. What else, Kylie? Okay, we have another story. The headline, the headline is a professional corn hair, I'm sorry, a professional cornhole player with no arms and legs has been accused of murder in Charles County. And Bridget on Twitter says, am I having a stroke? And I actually have the video of the news report. And honestly, it just gets more confusing as you learn more facts.

So we're going to play it here. Now to a bizarre story out of Charles County. Police now investigating after a professional cornhole player with no hands and no legs is accused of firing a deadly shot all while driving. We want to get out to our Homa Bash. She is live in La Plata this evening with more details. Homa. Angie, bizarre to say the least. But before we get any further into this story, I just want to try to answer the question that so many people have right now. How did someone with no arms, no hands, manage to fire a gun and allegedly kill someone? It's early in the investigation, but there is no evidence at this point to suggest anybody else was involved in the shooting. and that he acted alone on this.

Now watch closely, you're looking at the man accused of murder in this case, video from his TikTok page titled no hands, no feet, shooting nine millimeter handgun. Okay, so he went on to shoot a passenger in his car. I did not ever learn how he drove the car and held the gun. I was gonna say you can have hand controls, but that wouldn't fix the whole problem.

I think for the leg, there's probably like an extension type. Yeah, right? And then we just saw a video of him shooting the gun and clearly he's a good aim because he's a Cornhole champion despite being a quadriplegic. And so it's a really fascinating story coming out of the United States where again, we go back to the gun problem. The even people with no arms and no legs can kill people with guns. how fucked up America is, that even a fucking quadriplegic can commit murder. That's how good

Americans are with guns, which was interesting about the Olympics because I guess there was like a shooting thing and like we lost. Really? A shooting in the Olympics, yeah. And I'm like, we lost. Like shouldn't we win gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold for any sort of gun shooting thing? Yeah, they're claimed to thing. We lost. I don't think, I didn't even know if we meddled. Really? Yeah, Kylie, look that up. I will. Yeah, I mean, I would say one of the better things I've heard. But yeah, that's crazy about the quadriplegic.

It's sad too because he went super viral when he was in that court. Did he grow the cornhole with his mouth? I mean, no, he holds it with his two hands it or two. Yeah, yeah. And he went super viral for it. And he was kind of a star. So it's sad to see that he's going to be. Driving and shooting again with no fingers, I will say, takes a lot of, you know,

coordination that I certainly don't have. I can barely drive. Oh, which I have an update for all of the people. A few weeks ago, I was like, this guy honked at me for a mile. I fucking had it with honkers. I don't know if you remember that. Since then, I have noticed I'm getting honked out a lot. So I must be the common denominator.

So I'm going to take that hat it back because clearly I am doing something that I am unaware of that is irritating the fuck out of people. And so I've really been trying to be more diligent. But like last week, it was like three different days in a row that I did something that somebody honked. So I've written in a car with you. And when you propose this story, hey, I remember saying, what did you do? And you swore up and down. But I've ridden in a car with you and you're on your phone. phone and I know your buddy say oh my god I'm trying to be better but you when your version of being

better is just responding quicker to text it's not not texting yeah no it's bad but no I mean seriously I've been in the car with you you're weaving like a drunk are we need because you're like I don't stay in my way miracle that we're live yeah but so I but in this situation like whatever I'm doing I'm not aware of it so I'm trying to be super aware because I am doing something that is worth note for a lot of other drivers. All right. Jen, on the medals. Yeah.

We won one gold, three silver, one bronze. One gold. Okay, so that's better than what I thought. I think it should have been, I mean, considering the gun issue that we have here, it should have been a clean suite. Gold, gold, gold. Yeah. All right.

I've got some. What else do we have? Voice memos. Okay, let's do that. Yes. Okay. Up first, we've got Molly. And hey, Balm's Take Kylie, this is Molly.

I'm coming at you from D.C., and I just have to tell you about something that I have absolutely had it with this week. And that is people not taking the fucking stairs. It's outrageous. It is an epidemic. I live in an apartment building and I live on a higher floor. And so, obviously, we have an elevator and people who live on the second and the third floor are taking the elevator.

What's up with that? Take the fucking stairs. We are all trying to get out of the building in a timely manner when we are going to work. We are all trying to get back up to our apartments in a timely manner. When we are done with work for the day, stop making us wait so you can get off at the second or third floor. Take the stairs. It's ridiculous. It's an epidemic.

We need to stop doing this. There needs to be a sign in every apartment building. The elevator is only for those people who live on the upper floors of the building. If you live below the third floor, take the stairs. The elevator is not for you unless you are carrying something very heavy or elderly, et cetera. There are exceptions. We get it. But as a general rule, the elevator is not for folks who live below the second or the third floor.

I think that's a great rule. I completely agree. We were just talking about this. Kylie and Anna and I were at our New York, our new New York recording studio, getting it all set up. And we're on one of the, we're on the top floor of the building. And Anna was complaining that there were a lot of tenants on the second third floor that we're taking the elevator. In this, in this building, there's a beautiful staircase. It's not like a fire exit staircase. It's like a gorgeous wide, long slope. So it's not like super vertical. And,

you know, I agree. I think you got to, you got to take those stairs. You cannot Bogart the elevator for one to two floors. It's embarrassing that you can't get your fat ass up a flight of stairs. I mean, it just is. In fact, when I, I have a doctor that's on like the fifth floor and I've stopped on every floor like people going up from like two to three like people that work in the building so I mean this was like a year ago I go I'm trying to go down the stairs I go down the doors locked so then I have to go back I was embarrassed to go down one floor I was like felt like you're an embarrassment to yourself that you're fat ass can't take one floor and people do it all the fucking time.

So speaking of like, she said that you should put a note in an elevator. I think you should about this. So I was in Los Angeles two or three weeks ago and I had to go meet with this guy at his office, an attorney. And I said, where's the restroom? He told me and it was like a shared restroom and a hallway. And when I got to the door, there was a printed sign on the door that said, please clean up after yourself please make sure all toilet paper is flushed any extra special

things in the toilet are wiped down and or flush and everything is removed from the floor this is on the door entering the bathroom and i was like i wonder if they've listened to our podcast because we've talked about this a lot right so then i go in the bathroom and i look pick my stall on the outside the same sign on the inside the exact same sign and I'm talking what's so hilarious about the sign is you can tell the person who wrote it I don't know what she walked into but it must have been it was bad really bad scene because it's like four four thoughts spaced out from one another right and you can tell with each one she just gets a little bit more unhinged and then after I see the sign and then I'm flushed, expect everything. I'm like, we're all good here. I go out to the sink.

And there's four more of these signs up. And it's like, it's literally like, please make sure that you flush the toilet. If something doesn't go down all the way, make sure you double flush it. If there is pee or anything on top of the toilet seat, make sure you wipe that down. Make sure you keep this bathroom the way you would want to find it. And then the last one is If there's an extra something special rubbed on the side of the toilet, go ahead and give that a wipe as well. Thank you. We all need to work together to keep these restrooms clean. So here's the thing.

Here's what's so fucking hilarious about all this, right? You would think that there's probably 100 people using these restrooms, right? There's only two offices on this floor. So, yes, the people that I was visiting, there's maybe five people that work there. It's not a huge building. On the opposite side of the restrooms and the elevators is another building, which I say five or six people. So then you start, my mind started going, okay.

So I got that receptionist. Right. Who is it? That I saw. And then I wonder if this is like somebody didn't flush a tampon or had diarrhea. And there was, I know this is graphic to think about you guys, but we've all walked into situations where we see stuff where people have not taken the restroom experience over the goddamn finish line.

And this woman who made these signs and taped it up, I thought this woman is a fucking hero. She made sure there's no fucking way that somebody could walk out of that restroom and say, I didn't see the sign because they're on the front of the door, they were above the track. You know, there's a trash can in the stall. Yeah. Like maxi pezzard. It was above that. It was behind the flush.

They were everywhere. So in my mind, I'm like, okay, whoever the offender is, it's happened multiple times. Right. It's not a one-off. Right? And wondering if the person claims like, well, I didn't know. I didn't see or I thought the house, you know, the janitors come or something, but it was so juicy. I wish I would have taken a picture of the sign. I want to know, like you know if somebody went to all the trouble to post all those signs. I just feel like that person probably made a plea. like send an inner office memo or you know mentioned it like we need to clean up after ourselves and da-da-da-da-da and she was just ignored and ignored desperation and

she's just like fuck it but I kind of do want to know what the scoop was and I would want to know who the offender was I would go exactly to the person I thought wrote the email and I would say what happened yeah and she knows who it is oh she because I guarantee you that after you write after you escalate and you print out about 20 copies of these instructions for people, for grown fucking adults to go into the bathroom and clean up after themselves. And you have about five different points that you're making in your memo that you've taped up 20 different copies of in a three-stall bathroom, a three stalls total.

Okay, it's not a big bathroom. So you have them taped up everywhere in there. The type of person that did this, got the tape, printed it, stormed in there with the tape, taped it up. that's a person that's going to have their bead on the hallway. Like their eyes are going to be constantly on the hall. I wouldn't even be surprised if there was some sort of like sensor where she knew if somebody entered the bathroom.

There's pre-inspections of when a person goes in. And then there's post inspections. And I would even suspect that outside of the signage that I saw, this is just me deducing here. I would imagine that there was probably at some point a photograph of something. very unsightly. And she did an all points bulletin to everybody in the fucking building, not just floor nine. I bet she thought every motherfucker's getting this. Every single person in this building gets this memo. I just went into the bathroom on floor nine and this is what I saw.

It's a goddamn bloody Sunday. You need to make sure you're wiping. You're going to make sure you're flushing to make sure you're picking up. And then there was probably a lot of office friction. Yeah. And she's, she has graduated to the signage, but I don't think it's over yet. No. We're anywhere near the end of this. I'll do a little follow up on this. I think this woman was pushed so far.

I do too. I think she's an abuse victim. Right. I mean, she's just like, I'm fucking done. It would not surprise me if this part, she followed this person into the bathroom and just stood, like just stood in the bathroom, just like, you want to go down, we're fucking going down. I just think there's a lot of people that that go into the restroom and I will not buy that people just have no self-awareness about their piss or shit. I'm just not buying that. It's just

something that you need to make sure is completely sent down. And there's no evidence of that when you leave the space, not on the toilet seat, not on the floor, not anywhere. You need to fucking clean up after yourself. And so I think some of these people are just so entitled, so messy, and so MAGA that they just think they can piss and shit all over the place and triple Trump. And somebody's going to come clean it up. And I think this woman had it. I think she's an abuse victim. And if she's in a support group, I support her. I support the signage. I supported the signage. I got the biggest kick out of it. I was like, oh, she is pissed. She is not going to take it anymore. She saw some bad things. She saw bad things.

And we can all identify. Remember we had that show one time and we went in and there was a bathroom that was all. It was like, and we had, there's just nothing worse. It's just an offensive. That's just something that shouldn't be public consumption. That's why the bathroom is private. All right, Kylie. Who's next?

Okay, up next we've got Alex. Hey, ladies, Gatriot clocking in here from Nashville, blue dot and red state. you guys are my favorite. I listen to you every day. Seriously, I'm going to see you in Atlanta. Cannot wait. But basically what I've had it with are all of these DL Drama Queen, Republican Congresspeople, especially here in Tennessee. We recently had Andy Ogles start an investigation into the NFL and Bad Bunny because he maybe was a little bit turned on missing Bad Bunny in his all-white Zara outfit and holding a football and spreading a good message. I don't know. but he's just turned on by that and it's ruining everyone else's lives they're trying to turn over same-sex marriage here they are just heinous they have the worst style and marcia blackburn too i mean i'm sure there's something up with her but she has zero gay people around her just by the looks of her hair um but i'm just sick of these people being so suppressed and ruining life like get that pride flag out come to the stone wall come march at pride i don't give a fuck just stop ruining my life Thank you. Love you guys.

I mean, it's just it is such a great point and we can't speak about it enough that in all it's 2026 and there are a lot of things that we can have government do like services like the sledgehammer going out here. That's the government fixing some probably fucking broken sidewalk and making the place better. But the Republicans, the Maga Republicans are hyper consumed with sex. They talk about sex, particularly gay sex. They talk about trans people and gender nonstop when none of it, zero percent of it affects their pathetic, cracker-ass, dirty bathroom lives.

None of it affects it. And the obsession that people in red states have with sex is so fucking weird. I'll never quit talking about it. I firmly believe that there is a huge DL, Demon Queen problem with a lot of of MAGA leaders right now. I also think a lot of them have been aroused by the site of a rock hard penis while watching porn and they feel some sort of gayness about that. And I said, I was kind of fucked up.

Who knew? I had a little bit of buy in me and moves on with their life. Then they want to terrorize everybody. And MAGA is a death cold. They are a party that wants to terrorize people. They are emotional and psychological terrorists. Then their terrorism has led to now shooting people, shooting a mother with a lab in the back of a car, calling her a fucking bitch.

It's just, I mean, it's just gross. The hatred that these people have because they can't be who they want to be or because they're so abused or broken, just fucking grow up. Everybody's had to go to fucking therapy, which talked about pumps journey. I've been to fucking therapy, fucking grow up and let people be who they want to be for fuck's sake. Somebody being gay is not about you. Right. The narcissism that these people have is unbelievable.

It's unbelievable. Somebody being gay or straight or bi or trans or gender fluid or using a pronoun has fucking nothing to do with you. Nothing. Just like you being a psychotic triple Trump or freak show. And it's nothing to do with me. I don't identify with you. I don't take ownership in that. I'm not going to offer you an off ramp.

You can go triple Trump in your fucking dump truck and read Leviticus to each other. Because I want nothing to do with your dipshit, low IQ teeny weeny brain. Nothing. Zero. 100% right. I co-sign everything you just said. And I think if I'm not mistaken, Tennessee, the state house or Senate, and maybe they did pass it where you can marry at 12 or they were trying to pass it.

Like these people want to be the worst kind of people and tell everybody else how to live their lives. They want to say how great they are and their family values at the same time they don't give a fuck what is actually happening to people and suffering. And it is unbelievable to me yet very believable. I feel like people's rights have gone so far backward, like from the difference between like 2010 or like, let's say 2000 to 2010, that was a huge like, we're going backwards. I mean, we are, the clock is going backwards.

And that's why we have to be loud and proud. Yeah. And the thing that really irritates me a lot about the white people that, they, they see. suburban white people I was speaking about earlier that try to have the perfect family image. They, in that image, a lot of people that I know, particularly in Oklahoma, will try to play both sides. They'll play the, oh, we're cool and we've got gay friends. And, you know, we're independence.

We're moderates. We're socially liberal and fiscally conservative. And they're fucking not. It's a total lie. They want the appearance of being cool and open minds. But deep down, they're not. Deep down, Trump and that movement speaks to an inner hatred in them and an inferiority that they have, that they try to reconcile with the voting booth by demeaning and further marginalizing people.

And it is willful. It is willful cruelty. And I just am not one of these people that is going to let the party of personal accountability, personal responsibility. I'm not going to let those people off the fucking hook. I'm not. There's no off-ramp for you to come play. in my sandbox. I'm not going to throw, give you a trophy or throw a parade for you because you

were able to see that evil is evil and that a liar is a liar and that a man who incited an insurrection is a fucking criminal. A man that was found guilty is a fucking criminal. I just, I'm sorry. I'm just not at 51 years old. I'm going to sit and go, oh my God, I'm so sorry you were conned. Shut the fuck up. I'm sorry you're a fucking dumbass, stupid moron that will willfully chose, willfully chose this because the appetite for cruelty in these people is insatiable until the cruelty affects them or somebody that's genetically connected to them. Other than that, then I give a fuck about anybody. So fuck the offram.

I'm so tired of hearing we've got to offer these people an offer. They're never going to fucking vote for Democrats. You think they're going to vote for gay people or gay rights? These people won't even vote for their own fucking kids. Republicans that have gay kids do not vote for their fucking kids. And so I'm supposed to think that there's some offering up that we're supposed to offer them. I'm out.

I'm not doing it. They can go to the Facebook doctors and the Facebook therapist. I'm not fucking doing it. I'm not. No, I agree. And I was, you know, I feel like it's made me like mad, like, okay, you wanted this. You got it. Yesterday, I went to buy bread. I mean, I was a buying other stuff, but there was a loaf of bread that was $9.00. Just basic white bread was $9.25. I didn't buy it, but it was for sale. But I thought, you all wanted Trump because he's so good with the economy. You were so worried about grocery prices. It was never about that. Right. Like, here's your $9 loaf of bread, shove it so far up your ass.

Like you wanted it, you got it. And so part of me was like, there was a, there was just a little fraction of like that I got a little joy that somebody was going to have to pay $9 that voted for Trump. And then I just thought, you're a terrible person. Like, it's still terrible. Yeah. And that's the part where that's where you have to be cautious because I don't want to give these people an offer. But I want them to have fucking health care. I want them to have affordable groceries.

I want them to have universal health care. I want their gay kids to live in a place where they are equal. I want their potential future trans grandchildren to be treated equally and humanely under the eyes of the law. I do not want these people to suffer. However, I do not want them to fucking play in my sandbox because to quote Kendrick Lamar, they not like us. I am not like those people.

I get no joy knowing that you're suffering. at your own fucking ignorance. But I do not wish to hang out or play with people like this. Like I physically, and pumps can attest this, I physically do not like being around evangelical mag of people. And pumps will tell you, I mean, I get like, ugh, I mean, I can't do it. I am constitutionally incapable of being morally duplicitous.

It is not something I am able to do. My conviction in universal human rights is so strong that I cannot feign like a lot of kindness around a big group of white evangelical triple Trumpers. I can't because I just sit there and think you're all fucking freaks, you're hateful. You can smile and go, my God, hi Jennifer, Josh. Oh, you want to try fucking cram it up your ass, Debbie. You know, I could, I know when I'm not here, you're like, she's a fucking crazy communist liberal. I fucking know it. Just say it to my face.

At least I kind of respect you, but don't act like we're friends. They're like we share anything in common because we fucking don't. We have zero in common. We'll never have anything in common, ever. And I take so much pride in being a completely different

fucking person than you are and that I don't have to fake. I don't have to be a fake, fucking phony person and go through life with a veneer and feigning shit. I just, I'm not, I'm not cut out for that. And after 11, 12 years of dump truck, it's worse. I'm like fucking hell on wheels. So I had to move to New York. I couldn't fucking take it anymore. It's fucking Bible numbers. I seriously can't. It's just too much. It's more than I can take. No, I mean, you're 100% right. It in what so, but I think that your strength in that.

I know that like when I'm around you, it makes me more conscious to. set boundaries. So there's, I think it's good because then it helps me see where I need to have more conviction and stand up. I mean, it's like leadership starts at the top. You're like the corgi. You know what I mean? Like seeing your conviction, you know, it's like a thousand little paper cuts over 20 years. Like you stick with something. You think it. It makes you stronger. It makes you think it changes behavior. So I appreciate that in you. I think it's a very admirable quality. Thank you. Thank you very much for that. I believe, did we only do one voice memo? No, we did too. We did. We did. We had the Gaytriot and then the elevator. Okay, so that's good.

All right. Kylie, what about you? Are you offering an offering up for Triple Trumpers? I'm not. And Thompson is right. Everyone can take a lesson from Big Fat, Jennifer Welch. the big big corgi yep um and learn how to to be pretty blunt with these people you have really good boundaries set jen yeah thank you you do i i uh i think that my time uh trying to fit in with a bunch of phony uh peers of mine that claim to be you know so loving and christ-like and all of this shit in high school and junior high and they were all just I mean, just fucking broken like everybody else is, but evangelicals seem to be extra broken, if you get my drift.

As the aforementioned crack and spanky situation, when pumps was an evangelical, she fit into my script, like my idea that I had about evangelicals, pumps was like, of course he fucks hookers. Of course he's smoking crack with hookers in his license plate says, you haven't had an evangelical friend since fucking high school because they're such hypocrites. And then the one friend, evangelical Bible thumper, an adult husband is a crack hooker, fucker, smoker? Are you serious? Of course, it was like right on script. But anyway, but in between that time, I hung out and I still have like the best gay friends. My planet. And in the 90s, I had just when I went to the University of Oklahoma,

just a gaggle of gays. And the way the evangelicals treat gay people. And the way their families treated them, it just left a huge impression on me. And it was something that it was, my mother was always so gracious and kind and no judgment. She always would say really common sense stuff like well, darling, who in their right mind would choose to be gay in the middle of the Bible belt?

And it was just common sense stuff. And she was like, yeah, these people are fucking nuts and they're mean and they use religion to justify being mean. So that was like the thing, that I was indoctrinated in common sense, radical exception, radical empathy. And so when I see it, when I see these people doing it picking on gay people, it makes me fucking mad. And I'm just, I'm a big fat corgi. Call them your. How about big? I'll be a big fat. I love that corgi.

Yes, the ears are great. Fucking corgi. I want a corgi. I mean, I think I'll always have, I flirted with corgis. You did? Yeah, I flirted because I like a little short leg. Uh-huh. And corgis, when they walk, their buds are great-asses.

I mean, yeah. And it's like, you're a big, fine woman once you back. I see him in Manhattan and the corgis just, and I just, I immediately that song backed that thing that just goes in my head and I have it on all day because I've seen some corgi's ass just, just sashaying and shantang from side to side. And I love it. I love that corgi.

And I love the LGBTQ plus community. And I love everybody who stands for universal human rights. And I fucking hate the triple Trumpers. You're not getting an off ramp. You can go fucking join your own little therapy group. Go deprogram yourselves. Do some atonement. Then you have to take a polygraph and truth serum for me to even remotely consider an off ramp.

And then we'll put you on deck before you get to the ramp. I do think this, and this is just based, this is what I think, because I have been a Republican, evangelical, I will offer an off rant, but your actions and your words have to match. You have to stand up and admit that you were wrong and not just words, but act that way too. And they have to pay you. Is that right? And then I'm going to have a griff to go with that. And my VINMO is. Yeah.

I let you do that. And then I'll be the final. I'll be Judge Judy. Yeah. You can do the corgi. What about the people? What about the like I'll be Doug Llewellyn. I'll be Doug Llewellyn of the people's court.

Dun, done, yeah. Yes. Judge Judy's like what you think here's the action. Then you can make a judgment on do you dunk him or not. Remember when you threw the ball and you hit the target and person dropped in the water? No. Is that what that was called? It's been a minute.

Here's the deal. Here's the deal. There's like I'm trying to talk to people less. I'm trying to have less people in my life. And again, this was something I decided a few years ago. And then I read an article that it was like the healthier you get, the smaller your circle becomes. The healthier you get, the fewer friends you have. So I was like, hmm, interesting. The science is catching up here yet again. So always seems to be happening. But I'm really not interested in expanding my circle. Like I went through your shit with you pumps and I'm so happy that you're deprogrammed.

And I'm so happy that you're still on that journey. But it's I don't have the patience to do it again with another person. No. Oh, I agree. I'm not like just in general for people. Like no, I'm not offering new friends by any stress. All right. I think that's all we have today. Is that all, Kylie? Leave us a voice memo on our Instagram and we will see you on Tuesday or Thursday. Listen up Patriots, Gaitriots and Natriots.

We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe, and reviews so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps.

What does an eagle say? Ciccaw! A little bit more enthusiasm. Caca! That's it. That's, that's... Ciccaw! That's the patriotism that this country means right there.