I've Had It - Self-Care for Sociopaths

Episode Date: July 9, 2026

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So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready, one, two, three. Patriot, that clap, we got to start over. That was bad. Do it again. Ready, one, two, three. Better. Much better.

Patriots, gay, triots, they triots, black triots, brown triots, we love you. And all of the triple trumpers can do what pumps? Fug off. Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with, and this drives me fucking crazy. I thought multi-view would be a good thing. Like you get to watch two events at the same time.

So if you're in a big group, then everybody's happy. Well, then it turns out you have to get four views because then everybody gets to pick. And it's like what? Multi-view has been ruined by spoiled people. Remember, you just can watch one thing. If you only can watch one thing that we don't have to fight. But when you have a group of people and you're trying to watch something, and everybody's like, no, I want to watch this.

I want to watch this. And then you have to do multi-view. And then no, we can't watch two multi-view. We have to watch four. Then you can't understand anything that's going on. And I just think we have given people too many choices. We've given them too much to choose from. You have to pick one, go in the other room, put on that what?

The people that you're talking about, are you referring to your children? Yes, I am referring to my children. I sure am. You know, it's like, bitch, go in your own room. You have a TV. But no, we all have to argue over. while we're watching and you end up not watching anything. So I just think it goes back to you. We have too many choices. People are too spoiled that they always have to get their way. You don't

always have to get your way. Knowing you for as long as I have, it surprises me zero that you would sit in a room with your three adult children, meaning four people in total, and facilitate a scenario where you turned your one television screen into four different shows at one time and then allowed the whole thing to go. And then now, days later, we have a ruminating grievance over this. It's spiraled. I let it spiral. Instead of just saying, nope, we're watching this.

I gave everybody a choice. You can't give everybody a choice. Sometimes you have to make choices for people. Isn't it just ridiculous? that like one person's watching a movie, one person's watching a football game. I mean, that's nothing about that sounds even remotely enjoyable. No, because you can only hear one. The whole thing is stupid.

The whole thing is stupid. Whose idea wasn't? Whose idea was it when y'all were all sitting there to go from one screen to four? Of course you have to ask that question. Okay. So we had a, you know, we had a debate over who was going to watch which game. And I said, well, let's do the multi-view. And then one choice turned into two choices, turned into four.

And then it turned me into huffing and puffing and trying to blow everybody's house down. That's what it happened. Because it was me. You're right. All these problems I have with my children, ultimately, I am the cause. I am the problem. The listener, this has been going on for decades. She's like, my kids drive me fucking crazy.

I hate my kids. They are never happy. They're never satisfied. never enough for them. And then she tells me some story. And it's, it's, it all starts with her giving, like, them too many options or too much, no boundaries and anything. And then the minute she draws one, they have a stage five meltdown because they're not used to it. And then she's mad that they're mad. Yeah. Yeah. It just, it just happens. It's just how I, it's how I roll. You can even see it with my French bulldogs. Mm-hmm. Yeah. All right. But I, I think Multiview is

stupid as well. And I don't want to watch two different things at a time, which is why I have multiple televisions where I live, because I, when I watch TV, either somebody watches it on my terms with me or you get out of my area and you go to your own TV because I'm very selfish about that. Yeah, that's what I'm going to start doing. I have started doing that with one of my children, but because the sports thing, I kind of get sucked in on all the sports back. different sports are kind of fun to watch as a group yeah but not what everybody wants to watch a different sport yeah all right all right so i was going to tell you a funny story i don't really have a grievance so josh and the kids and i were out of town this past weekend and we go into this

restaurant really good italian restaurant and josh comes back to the table and he sits down and he goes and he's on his phone for a long time and i can tell he's on like chat gpt or claude And he finally goes, so W.C. Water closet? And I was like, yeah, that's what, that's what it is. And he's like, so can a boy or a girl go in there? And I'm like, yeah, a water closet is a singular closet. And it's a one shot. And he goes, why is it called a water closet? And I'm like, you've been to Europe a million times. They're called everywhere, water closet. Well, we're not in Europe. Why do they have that on here? I said, what's an Italian restaurant? They're trying to be Euro. I mean, that's what Americans try to do when we try to be cool. We try to be Euro. He went to the bathroom and there's a water closet, a water closet, and then a handicap. So there's three doors, all single shots. Right. As the lady is like, can a boy go in here? And she was like, yeah, I think so. So it goes in, comes back, spend some time with Claude, then loops the whole family in on it. Like there's this grand conspiracy of the restaurant. And then he thinks they were trying to hoodwinking with the

handicap one. And I'm like, Josh, at that point, when you see there's a there's a vestibule and you see three doors in a U shape, water closet, water closet and a handicap, the brain can deduce, right. This is for a non-handicap person, water closet, this same. This one is for a handicapped person. He's like, why didn't it say? water closet with a handicapped. I don't know. Do you want me to go with the manager? I mean, we're like 15 minutes into this conversation about this thing. But I mean, everybody universally knows. Y'all know, right? Water closet. And he knows. But he does know. He does know what's funny about Josh. He's the most laid back, easy. That is a lie. Well, but I mean, he will,

if he will let you tease him, he's self-deprecating. He's so much time. But then he will fixate on one thing and then it just gets in his head and he just can't get it like the water closet why is it handicap why is it call that it's just like why do you care it doesn't matter it's so funny i want to talk to you about this perpetuating that josh is laid back he laid back in a lot of different way he's not he's absolutely not he is so oCD and manic yeah but in terms of being around him like once you like the cup holder situation and stuff he laughs about it. It's not like it ruins this whole day. Like we, when we were traveling

together. Okay. I'll be married to him. I'm going to let you come stay. You go stay with Josh for a week. You spend him around the block for about three or four days. And then you circle back with me on this laid back thing. Because myself, my oldest son and my youngest son, we all think it's fraud because he plays this thing. Like, oh, I'm so laid back. And honestly,

my niece, Lauren, so she is a legal assistant, paralegal. And so she thought, well, I'm going to go work for Josh. She seems so laid back. Yeah, I'm not about work. After about a week, I called her and I go, I'm just checking in with you on how laid back Josh is. She says, oh my God, you were right. It's a total, it's fraud. He has not laid back at all. I was like, there is nothing chill nor laid back about him at all. And that he can be, he seems, it's a really weird dynamic because he can put off, he doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't. doesn't sweat the small stuff. Right. Super open-minded.

It doesn't get his feelings hurt. Doesn't get his panties in a wad. All that shit is shockproof. All of that is like a 12 out of 10. But everything else, there's like a little hamster that is just wound up in his ass, just running. And he just, yeah, it's a complete lie. You know who else isn't that laid back?

Who? Me? Here's my thing. I get rubbed up over the stupidest, most, doesn't. even fucking matter who cares stuff and I'll go to a 12 out of 10. And then on this, I mean, I just, and I'm just like, the whole time it's happening, I'm like, why do you even care that much? And then the stuff that kind of matters, I'm just kind of like, I just have a very warped sense of reaction. But the stuff I'm like not laid back about like hot

casso at a restaurant, it just makes me eating with you or Josh. Sometimes I think I would I would just rather not go out to eat with you guys. You know, maybe that's why I don't notice it in Josh because it's the exact same as myself. It's a supersedes. The, the entitlement. In a restaurant. Yeah.

Yeah. It's bad. Yeah, it's off the charts. Because I will kind of sit and suffer through bad temperature of food. It takes a lot for me to send food back. And I always think, yeah, these people are making minimum wage. You and Josh will march up there. you were at the fucking four seasons and demand.

Josh, one time I remember we went to a Mexican restaurant and sat down. And he was like, yeah, we'll take chips and salsa. No onions in the salsa. And I'm like, that's not how that works. And I looked at the waiter and I'm like, ignore him. He's a psychopath. Do not, do not, do not try to do that. All right, welcome to I've had it.

I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She's the star of the show. Kylie. Hi. I've got an email from a listener today. It says, hi, Jen and Pong. I love your show. It's my go-to for a laugh, and I appreciate so much your honesty and support of human rights.

You're both hysterical, and it helps me get through these tough times. So I share one of your grievances about children in inappropriate places, but I'm going to say it again. Why are their young children at breweries and bars, especially holding your kid's birthday party at a brewery. I've had it. I had to suffer through Chuck E. Cheese, McDonald's, roller rinks, and the hot-ass parks for my kid parties, and these parents need to do the same. Is there not anywhere I can go where kids aren't allowed? So I've said it.

Thanks for the entertainment as well as the news. Love you and your staff, Linda. I could not agree more with Linda. Why the fuck are you having a party at a brewery of a kid's birthday party? That makes no sense. And I think I can't even tell you how many Chucky Cheese birthday parties I suffered through. I mean, it's just, you kind of just got to do it. it makes sense if the parents are alcoholics.

Okay. You know, maybe the parents are Alki's. And so they're like, you know what? Fuck this. This is hard. Let's just go get drunk. I mean, I'm not going to go to Shucky Cheese and sit through that shit sober. So we're going to go to the brewery and just get hammered.

And maybe that's, but I agree with Linda. I was, we were on this trip that we were just out where Josh discovered water closets and spent time with artificial intelligence discussing the nuances of it. we were in this clothing store and there was a let there so there's the door to go in and then there was like a window next to it and there was it was like there was an elevated place in front of the storefront window both on the indoor and the outdoor that kind of look like it shot through the glass there were three little girls standing on this like it was their stage we were sitting inside the restaurant roman is trying on clothes Josh is trying on

Dylan and I are sitting on the sofa in this adult clothing store, no children's clothes anywhere. So these three little gals that are probably age 10 and under are on the stage screaming and singing and stomping as loud as they can. And it's just reverberating through the store. It's such a fever pitch rate. And I keep turning around and staring at the parents. and they think it's just a real knee slapper. That's the problem. They think, oh, these kids are hilarious.

Look at them go. And it went on for like 10, 15 minutes. And I finally went and got the lady and I go, you're going to have to do something about, she's like, we've told them twice. And I just, I think that this whole idea that a lot of parents have that, you know, I don't want to tell my kids no. It's such a disservice to the child.

I mean, it's perfectly normal. I can't stand up on that stage and start going, fuck Donald Trump. I fucking hate Katie Miller. Fuck everybody. I want to. But my parents taught me I couldn't do that, that I'd have to get a microphone and then get an RSS feed and a YouTube channel. And it's your choice if you're here, unfortunately, for you. But it's like, why are they not telling these kids?

Like, this is inappropriate. We don't own this store. You're not going to be able to stop and bang on the glass. Like, nobody likes this. You can't do this. I do not understand why people don't tell their kids to shut the fuck up. I don't understand it. I completely agree.

And I'll tell you what else. I bet you a part of those parents thought, aren't these kids so darling? They are so talented. This entire store is enjoying the benefit of them singing and dancing. That's, I think, as much as people need to say, sit down and shut up or you can't do that. People need to remember. Nobody give the fuck about your kids, but you.

Nobody wants to be around your kids, but you stop acting like it's a treat for the whole world to be around your child, especially in an adult situation. It's simply not. Jen, I just, there was an article that came out recently and it was like, soft parenting didn't work. I was like, no shit. No shit. shit no shit no shit yeah these kids come to their first day of work and they want like a surprise you made it on time today there's a photo cute here's the thing like you have to prepare your kids for adulthood and adulthood is like learning how to manage boredom and actually appreciate boredom like for

me you know kids are like I'm bored I'm like I used to tell my kids that's a luxury being bored you will embrace at some point being bored is a luxury having nothing to do yeah and uh Yeah, it's a soft parenting. And I was in a hard ass by any stretch of imagination, but specifically in public, if my kids were acting out, if they act out now, I'm like, stop it. I even have to monitor pumps. We'll be in these hotels walking down the hallway. It's like 6 a.m.

We're catching an early morning flight. And pumps has one volume, loud. And you know how when you're in a hotel room and you hear people out in the hallway, you're like, God, I wish the note. She's like, so what do you think? The Uber's already down there? Do you think? I'm like, Pumps, shh, there's people sleeping.

It's so true. There's people sleeping. It's just like it takes a village. We all have to live and cooperate together. And if I'm being too loud or obnoxious, I want somebody to check me. I want somebody to say, zip it. I remember one time, this is hilarious. So Pumps and I were on tour for I've had it.

And we're at the Will Rogers World Airport. I think it's now an international airport in Oklahoma City. And we're sitting there. And again, Pumse was like, we're like literally two inches away from each other's faces. And she's screaming. And I said, quit screaming. I can hear you. And she goes, I'm not screaming.

There's something wrong with your ears. Sit up and walked off and went to the restroom. I loved it. Do you remember that when you told me there was something wrong with my ears? It's just like a year ago. I don't remember specifically. But you stomped up. You stomped off like a twat.

And I just sat there and died laughing. Died laughing. I'm not. And you screamed and you went even like, I'm not screaming. There's something wrong with your ears. Kylie, were you here? You got up in the storm. You weren't there.

It was just she and I, she and I were just sitting there. We were like an inch away from each other. She's screaming. I know. I am so much louder than I think I am. Yeah, I used to know when it was time for me to head out my hotel door to leave. Because you can hear her. I heard you guys coming.

I always knew. And I'm a heavy walker too. And that's a problem in a hotel too. Just like a clomp. Yeah, and a heavy breather. And a heavy breather. I'm just a heavy gal. You're not heavy anymore.

No, you're not. You're gorgeous. Well, I mean, heavy mannerisms. Yeah, but that's just pops. You just pack a punch. That's just the package. That's just the package. Okay.

Okay, listener, you know how much I love Quince's products, not just because they're top of the line and they feel great and they cut out the middleman. they're easy and packable. And with summer, I have got the linen pants from Quince. I wear them all the time. They're wash and wear. I cannot tell you how much I love these pants. Everything on Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middleman. So you are paying for exceptional quality, not brand market. And let me just tell you, if you get these, linen pants, you're going to love them. I love mine. I have them in black and navy and white, and I wear them with everything all the time. Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to quince.com slash had it for free shipping on your orders and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash had it for free shipping and 365-day returns.

quince.com slash had it. Okay, you guys, I want to talk to you about the number one choice in America for banking. Chime is changing the way people bank. Fee-free banking built for you. They're not like a traditional old bank that charge you overdraft fees and monthly fees. They have thousands of fee-free ATMs. Why pay to get your own money? Built for you, not just the 1%.

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bank partners. Optional products and services may have fees or charges. Stateed annual percentage yield and cashback for Chime Prime only. No minimum balance required. Checking account ranking based on a JD Power survey published October 20, 2025. For more information on APY rates, my pay, spot me and travel perks, go to chime.com slash disclosures. All right, the first story that I want to share with the class today. The Tooth Fairy is out and a new kind of celebration is in. Pop this up. Mother slammed for a throwing out of touch lavish party for child's first tooth milestone.

The mother shared photos of the occasion on Instagram. Let's pop this up. You've got the worst baby on the planet. Jacob's first tooth. He's surrounded by hydrangeas. It propped up in a high chair like little Lord Fauntleroy. And here he is. She's got another wagon with baby's first tooth with a bunch of flowers on it.

If you're listening, it is every bit as obnoxious as I'm making it sound. Some commenters called the party out of touch and wasteful, saying it reflects social media-driven parenting that pressures parents into overspending on milestones. A baby won't even remember. Supporters said every moment, big or small is worth celebrating. The parents just want to make their kid feel loved. and there's nothing wrong with finding joy in life's little milestones. That's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard.

Give me, are we that bored? Are we that stripped of anything to do? I don't care if you put money under the pillow for tooth fairy. I don't care if you celebrate a tooth fairy. But this is ridiculous. And I fear that other people are going to do this because now everything is performative. Everything's on Instagram. So, you know, Jane throws the first tooth party.

So then Sally and Sarah have to throw it. And then we're just in a spiral as it were of people celebrating stupid things for little kids that nobody gives a fuck about. This is ridiculous. The kid in the high chair is never going to fucking remember that. Never. I'll tell you what I do remember. I do remember my mother pathologically lying to me about this experience she had with the tooth fairy. Oh.

And it was detailed. And she would say, oh, Jennifer, I remember one night I woke up and I saw the tooth fairy leaving my room and she had a white flowing gown and a wand. I looked under and there was a dollar under there. She told me the story over and over, right? So I was so excited. I lost my tooth. I'm probably like five or something where I can remember it. And I put the tooth under my pillowcase and I'm just waiting for this moment that my mother had pathologically lied to me about my whole life about the tooth fairy in our gown and how magical it was and the wand.

and all of these things, right? So, listener, you also have to know my mother is the most forgetful person on the planet. She's the smartest person I know, genuinely, probably, like, I don't know a single person that is smarter than my mother, but as intelligent as she is, she's that much forgetful as well. Like, she would forget to pick me up from school and shit, left me at the grocery store, like very absent-minded professor type person. And so I go to sleep, put my tooth under my pillow, all snuggled up. I wake up the next day. I'm like, oh, I never saw the tooth fairy, but I wonder if she came. And I lived up the pillow. And then there's the tooth. And so, of course, I'm like, bawling crying, go to my mom. And she's like, oh,

darling, she must have just been so busy last night. You probably need to go back to sleep. So I go back to sleep and I'm in there like, my mom comes in to give me a hug. And she tries to hoodwink me. She puts a five under my pillow and then takes the tooth at the same time. And that was it. You best at her? That's when I knew. And then on top of that, on top of that, you find out, not only did she forget your tooth, but also she'd been lying to you. And my mom listens to the podcast. So mom, how do you defend yourself? She'll probably chime in in the comments section. If she does, everybody told Linda, hello. She's a wonderful mother, by the way. Okay, next story. All right. Pops.

Okay. Everybody thinks you may have been an influencer of a rising trend that you didn't know about. Let's pop this up. The influencers normalizing not having sex. You're welcome. From a celibate porn star to an asexual ex-Morman. The internet is full of people who are abstaining from sex. and it's not just in cells.

Here's an excerpt. Online, the vocabulary is coalescing fem cell, boy sober, opting out. Wired spoke to a trio of people who are very online about their celibacy, a career porn star taking a break from men, an asexual ex-Morman YouTuber, and an entrepreneur who is saving herself for marriage, and are helping normalize it for the masses. And I would say the podcast worlds hit Princess Diana podcasting, the star of our show, Angela Pump Sullivan. Here's another excerpt.

The reasons for abstaining range from anxiety about the state of the world, the overturning of row, the current political and economic climate to a desire for total autonomy while both genders experience similar rates of loneliness. Studies have shown that single women tend to be happier than single. single men possibly due to not having to deal with a disproportionate amount of household labor or deprioritize their sexual pleasure. Pumps. I just feel like a little bit disappointed that I'm not given any credit in this article. Like I could have been, you know, WIRE didn't reach out. So I kind of, I feel bad about that.

And then I was a, yeah, I agree. It's a huge. I mean, that was a myth on their part. But all these people have such high-minded reasons, like really well thought out. Mine is like, I just don't want to put makeup on on a Saturday. Do you put makeup on before you have sex? No, but if I were going to, I would have to go out and mean somebody, which means I would have to have small talk,

which means I'd have to wear makeup and doll up. And I'd have to put, mine is more of just an effort-related issue, more so than climate change or anything like that. Mine is just, I don't want to have to do that. I would rather not have sex than have to small talk at dinner. and do all that other stuff. Text,

God forbid, FaceTime. I have friends that are on dating websites my fucking age. They're FaceTiming. I'm just like, you are too fucking old

to be FaceTiming people you don't know. Don't be a fun hater. Well, I just think it's weird. When you're like, oh, hi.

Hold up. Hold up. When you were dating that married man, the last time you had sex, huh? We never FaceTime. Not one.

No, because you didn't know how to do it at the time. And it wasn't as common at the time. It was like, five or six years ago, I would call you. And you were on the phone with him at all time.

So then I had to call your daughter because I had to get a hold of you. And I said, no, hang on. And I said, Emily, what's going on with your mom? I can't get a hold of her. And she said, oh, she and beep talking the phone for like two hours every night. And I was like, oh, my God, good for her. So don't be a fun hater with your friends that are doing that. No, but the face.

When you're in a group of people, I think anytime you're face, like if But you're fattimeying when you're with them? No, like if there's six people sitting there at a table eating dinner and you're FaceTiming somebody else, that to me is a no. 100% agree with that. That's what I'm saying. You're with your friends and their FaceTiming. The guy that they met online.

Yes. They're not FaceTiming me. They're facetiming like a significant other. While you're sitting there. They're kids 24-7. And I'm like, stop. While you're sitting there, their face-times. Are they doing baby talk?

No, I would remember that. Yeah, no. It was just like FaceTiming. What are they talking about? Just mundane stupid shit. Like, I'll call you back after dinner kind of stuff. Like nothing pressing. I guess it's the thrill of the chase flirting.

I don't know. Does not appeal to me. I did with you know who. Two hours a night. Two hours a night. Two hours a night. Gagged like a little high school girl. What is what your daughter reported to me?

Yeah. Well, she's such a great reporter. I'm sure she would want to wrap me out. In the beginning, we did, but like not after a while. I thought it was sweet. I thought it was sweet. I just, I can't find the effort right now. But maybe if I fell madly in love, I would.

A hundred percent you would. That's the great. That's the great thing about you. As much as you, like, rail about small talk on the podcast, If I'm out in the wild with you, you're the biggest small talker I know. And I'm the problem with the small talking. Yeah. Okay.

Another story. Washington Post headline, let's pop this out. Does leisure make us happy? Often the answer is no. Psychologist Lori Santos said, we often pursue low effort activities while looking for happiness. Here's what actually works, according to the research. reporting from the article is you might think spending more time relaxing would make you happier.

But recent research suggests that having more leisure time doesn't necessarily make people more likely to rate their day as happy. The research using data from the U.S. Census Bureau's American Time Use Survey shows that people were most satisfied with their days when they included an hour or two of socializing, physical exercising, physical exercise and surprisingly up to six hours of work, though more work than this was linked to less happiness. I agree with this. Why do you? And I think I've gotten to where I, if I don't work out during the weekday, it makes me like very anxiety prone. Yes. I don't sleep as well at night. I absolutely like my number one priority is like when am I going to get my workout in. Not because I care. I mean, obviously I care, but mostly because I'm like, I want to sleep. I don't want to have anxiety. Like if I have super anxiety, then I'll go for a walk. Do something.

I think you have to be active because here's the thing. If all you're doing is sitting around with nothing to think about, then you're thinking about yourself and you're thinking about how nobody else is thinking about you or what you don't have. So I think too much time focused on yourself makes you unhappy. You've got to think about other stuff and other people to be happy, I think. I completely agree with you. And I exercise all the time too because I feel like it treats generalized anxiety. I think we all have anxiety. I think being an adult is stressful. The current political climate is stressful. If you have kids or if you're in a relationship, paying bills, financial problems, you can just go down one of those little,

openings and you can the next thing you know you're like you know hamsters are running and exercise for me just treats that generalized anxiety where I'm not anxious and when I don't exercise I feel it I feel so much more anxious according to Santos chasing happiness backfires fixating on whether you're happy makes moments less enjoyable and happiness depends on more behaviors and mindset than circumstances once basic needs are met. And I agree with her on this that people that put like, and I know I'm going to get a bunch of backlash for this, but I'm just going to go ahead and do it. Like have all of these projects related to themselves. The most fucked up people I know have stacks of self-help books in their house. They're working on mood boards. There's all of this, like if I make

this mood board, if I read these self-help books, if I do all of these things, then I'm going to fix me. And I think the answer is you have to have like, you can't have all of your eggs in one basket. Like I have a work basket, a family basket, a friend's basket, a Jennifer alone time basket as I've gotten older, has gotten much larger. And my socializing basket has shrunk down. I don't like socializing as much because I like just very smaller group intimate settings than like a big socializing, that stresses me out too much. I don't, I don't like it. And you have to figure out what that stuff is. Santos also says, pick activities that take a little effort, that take a little effort instead of defaulting to the couch. Do things with other people. I'm going to push back on that.

I really love defaulting to the couch, Dr. Santos. Erans, don't pile shame on top of a bad mood. And when you're in a rough moment, ask yourself one thing you're grateful for. I, agree with that, but I also think that I think sometimes if the times that I focus too much on myself, like, this will make me happy, that'll make me happy. I'm not happy at all. Just living, you have to accept that every single day is about a three or four. It is. It's just, most of our days are mundane and boring. You get up, you have breakfast, you go to work, you go to the gym, you go home, you watch a great show, you maybe walk your animals, and you go to sleep.

There's nothing spectacular that happens. And you have to be able to embrace like, this is my life. This is normal. And it's a, I'm not chasing high highs or low lows. I'm looking for just a leveled off kind of mundane life. And then when I'm on vacation with my family,

it's a 10. Every day's a 10. But those are few and far between. But I kind of agree with this, that too much leisure is a problem. The most miserable people I know, and I'm going to get fucking ripped for all this too, mood boards.

people are coming after me, but the unemployed woman with kids that are old enough to go to the bathroom by themselves and spend the majority of their days at schools are the most miserable women I've ever met my life. Completely agree. And they're the ones that have the first tooth blow out with all the flowers. You just don't have enough to do. You've got, you have to spend your time doing something or you just get in your head too much. I'm the happiest what I'm thinking about other people and not myself.

That's what I've found and exercising and my dogs. Those are my keys. And podcasting, of course, Pumps. Well, of course, podcasting. The podcasting stuff is really stressful with our other podcast, IHip News and all the political stuff. It's not enjoyable. No.

It's so stressful. I mean, it's just staying on top of the time. It's just not. It's tough. Okay, Kylie, let's take a voice memo. Okay, this is a perfect segue into our first voice memo, and this is from Camden. Hello, Jessica. Hello, me, ma, meet curtains.

Hello, Kylie, you beautiful human being. Every time I watch the podcast on YouTube, I'm amazed at how beautiful you look. Now we know why Kylie picks this club. I've had it with influencers trying to tell me how to live my life. So I'm in med school. I'm kind of busy. or like people with jobs, they're busy. And being an influencer is not a job, okay?

It is not stressful. They do not know what they are talking about. The other day, when I had my little five-minute allotted TikTok break, I stumbled upon this like clip of this influencer telling me to do a 5am power hour where you do 20 minutes of light exercise, 20 minutes of journaling, and 20 minutes of learning a new skill. shut the fuck up. Okay.

Oh, and while we're here, I've had it with journaling. What the fuck is that going to do? Write down three things that you're grateful for. Stick it up your ass, okay? I don't give a fuck. No one should journal. It's fucking stupid. It's the same like crowd that like manifests.

Like, oh, I manifested this. No, you didn't. That didn't happen. You know, probably journals. Cash Patel's girlfriend. Country music star, sensation, patriot, journaler, I'm sure.

Had it with journaling, had it with influencers, get a real job. Love you guys. Bye-bye. I agree with so much of that. The journaling, I know for some people it really helps.

It's like having a therapy session. For me, I just, nothing would make me more miserable than journaling. That's just, I'm a talker, not a writer, the manifesting and the mood boards and telling me I have to have light exercise, journaling, shut the fuck up. Just stop. Just do your own thing. But all these people, they think they know everything. And I think that there's a distinction here. I think that the

people that journal, it's like people that garden. You know, there's something therapeutic. What Camden is talking about here, this is performative journaling. If you're journaling and it's super important to you, you don't make a TikTok about it. And then the 20 minute of exercise, 20 minute journaling and 20 minute teach yourself something new, that's so performative. That's so unrealistic. Nobody's going to wake up and do that. You might do it one fucking day and you're going to say that was stupid.

I'm never doing that again. I mean, who wants to teach themselves something new at 5.40 a.m. I mean, it's just, it's ridiculous. is I think that the problem, I disagree with Camden a little bit, although Camden, I agree with your cynicism on everything. I do think that some influencers have jobs and they work really hard on those videos and editing all of that up and they tag shit and that's a whole, they get advertisers and I didn't understand that when we first started this, but I do now and I do think that there is, there are people who, like, they work 40, 50, 60 hours a week on doing that shit.

But then there's just the buggers that aren't really influencers but want to be influencers telling everybody to journal and all of that. And I just think if I'm ever going to start journaling, it's not going to be because somebody on fucking TikTok told me to. You know, why did you start your life changing? Oh, the girl on TikTok said, you know what? You should journal every morning at 520 and then teach yourself something new at 540. So I start doing it.

I've been doing it for like 2,000 days now. It's infinitely better. I'm a million times happier. I'm richer. I'm better looking. My vagina's tighter. My tits are higher. My whole life has changed because this is now on Instagram.

It's unbelievable. The positive effects of this thing. You know, here's the thing about this something new. I learned to knit a couple years ago. And that was something new. I'd never. I didn't knit a couple hats. But I mean, I do appreciate learning something new,

but I'm not. I'm kind of at the. stage where I'm trying to remember what I already knew because I kind of forgot. So teaching something new. But I have this friend that she will take on a new project every year, like she learned to paint. So she spent a whole year painting. Then she learned to like ceramics or whatever. And she enjoys that doing that like a new project a year. That is not for me. I don't think that's cool as shit. And I guarantee you that friend didn't make a TikTok about it. Fuck, no, no, right.

She's doing it for her. Right. She just wants to followers. And that's the distinction that I think as we enter into the AI world and then we're already all in the social media world. How much is that like that kid, that baby that lost his tooth? That was 120 million percent for Instagram, not for the baby. Zero percent of that was for the baby. Zero percent of that was for the tooth.

This gal that got Camden all his panties. all in a wad that's doing this power hour in the morning, she's not doing that shit. She's not waking up doing that. She's up managing her TikTok, reading DMs, reading comments, scrubbing bad comments. She is busy. Last thing that bitch is doing is journaling at 5.40 a.m. And that's the problem. Nobody, nobody's genuine or real anymore.

And so with AI, it's like, is this, was this written by a real person or is this a robot? or and then with these people on Instagram like do you really do this shit like your friend that does that I think that's cool as shit I love that she's doing that I think that's super cool but I guarantee you she's not like okay guys the last year was ceramic season and this year I'm going into paintings I'm really focusing on mixed media with a specialty and acrylics yeah I didn't know until I walked in her house I was like where did you get all this art and she's like I made it and then I was like oh my gosh that's so cool very cool didn't even tell I mean I talked to her one once a week and she didn't even tell me she was doing it.

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After you purchase, when they ask you where you heard about them, please make sure to mention our show. Okay, up next we've got Kelsey. Hi ladies, Ryan and Seth. My name is Kelsey and what I've had it with are AI portraits on Facebook. Now, it's all of these Maga Christian women that are like 67 years old and they look about 50 pounds lighter, 20 years younger. Their boobs are perky and teeth are white, their hair's all done, full face glam, thinking that no one's going to fucking. notice. Bitch, you've never looked like that in your life. And then the people in the comments being like, oh my gosh, girl, you are so gorgeous. Tell me what you did. Bitch, that's not her.

I don't really know what they think is going to come out of this. Why are you wearing a slutty Santa outfit? Why are you like at this gorgeous beach and like it doesn't even look like them? And it's very dystopian. But I've had it with that. I would rather just see your real face. you guys. So much, so much fraudulent activity goes on on social media. I mean, just, I know this gal and she always would post, this girl peaked in, you know who this is, mom, she peaked in the 80s. She peaked in the 1980s. Every photo she posts is her of the 1980s. Every post is about a band from the 1980s. It is like, we're still there. Yes, and it is 20, 26.

But the mag of women doing an, do you have any pictures of that, Kylie? See if you can find that. That's hilarious. Facebook is nuts. Well, what? Oh, my God. I've forgotten to tell you this story. So this friend of ours, friend of mine, I went to dinner with her.

She's in New York and went to dinner with her. And she was, I was like, so are you dating anybody? She's like, yeah, I'm dating a guy. And I go, how'd you meet him? And she's like, Facebook dating. I was like, what? You met somebody on Facebook dating? Facebook has a dating app?

And she's like, yeah. And here's the crazy thing about it. I hired a matchmaker and like a high-end matchmaker. And the matchmaker, like, no success whatsoever. And she met this guy she really likes on like Facebook market dating or something. There's some dating thing on Facebook. She met like a normal person. He's a Democrat.

He's a feminist. He's like, yeah. So you can do that. I'm sorry, what? You can do that. I'll set it up for you. I'm sure you will. Kylie told me just the other day, I'm still on all those MAGA dating sites where they want

me to be like a child wife and cook for them and do all that crazy shit. Here's the thing on the Facebook dating. It stands to reason that they would have that because they have everything else. But when you have the matchmaker, every time you say matchmaker now, I think of that guy that was such a dick to you at that party and that matchmaker could not find anybody for him. And so my question, I would wonder, my guess is that you don't. But so you have a matchmaker. She's asked deep into trying to find you a match. And then you go through all her choices.

You don't like him. And then you randomly stumble upon this guy on Facebook dating. You really like him. Do you get any money back or is it just too bad? So sad. I doubt it. Because I'm sure if she did the work, you know. Yeah, I mean, he went through all the choices.

I mean, she tried. Yeah. I mean, I think, you know, I think that's probably a non-refundable fee. I think that would be a slippery slope. But I do want to circle back to the time for fun that we put you on all those mega websites. That my favorite thing about it was when he was when we were reading the bios. Oh, there she is. There's Angela Donne.

My favorite thing about it is so we were reading the bios of potential suitors. They would always say, must be unvaccinated. Demanded unvaccinated people. Yes. That is true. I got a cut, talk, and I'm unvaxed. But I want you to clean up after my kids, but you can't have your own kids. I mean, the shit.

Uncut and unvaxed. Just fucking crazy shit. All right, last one, Kylie. Okay, up next we've got Will. I've had it with gay dating. I'm one more hey man away from moving to a remote lighthouse and taking up whittling while I rock in a fucking corner. Gay dating has become less about finding a partner,

which is what I want, and more about competing in a 24-hour livestock auction of revolving better abs, worse communication skills, and the emotional availability of a fucking, wall. The apps have ruined us completely. You can be on an actual date sitting across from a man making eye contact thinking,

wow, like this could be something. And meanwhile, he's under the table, swiping through eight more men named Will, who all have the same torso, the same dog, and the same emotional fucking chaos all throughout their brains. So nobody wants to build anything. Everybody wants chemistry, mystery. Perhaps therapy language, no baggage, perfect banter, and a jawline that could cut open a fucking can of beans. Sir, you live with three roommates.

Your mattress is on the floor. And your only chair is a pile of laundry. So let's calm the fuck down about what you want from me. I mean, the gay dating. Yeah. That is, I tell you what. One thing I feel your frustration caller, I do. But the one thing I appreciate about the gay dating is how much more up front it is.

Yeah. I think gay dating is greater than straight dating. Yeah, but I do see like if you really want to go out, like if you really want to make a relationship with somebody and they just want to hook up, like that could be a disconnect. But I'll tell you this. I like how they just say, hey, I want to hook up. I like to do this. I like to do that. And then they just do it.

But I have read a lot of articles about the Bumble and Tinder and all that stuff, the swiping that nobody ever like if they, if the first date isn't just like spectacular and fireworks, they just swipe on in the next. So there's like you don't really get to know somebody because there's so many choices. And that kind of makes sense that that would work that way. Yeah. Yeah. I think the whole dating scene with apps and stuff, I bet it's, I mean, like, Zoran met his wife on Hinge, I think it was, which that's pretty cool. But I'm kind of glad I didn't get to do it because I bet you could be like, I don't, I don't know. I'm glad psychologically I didn't have to go through a dating app, which is why I want to put you on one.

Yeah. Thank you. No, I think it would be really hard to be, first of all, I've seen what's on some of these things. dating apps. I want you to get on a dating app. I want you to go on a date. And I want you to face-time your date when you're with us. Oh, yeah, on the podcast. Like, hey, John, what's up? We're going to face-time on the podcast. And then you can journal. And then you can journal together. Oh, my God, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to say, we need to wake up and immediately journal together like Lauren and Jeff Bezos. Because, God, they are such as moles. We're madly love like group journaling and the first thing in the morning. They are such fucking assholes.

I mean, truly, the Bezos's are such assholes. Yeah. You know what's crazy about that? It's just a week ago or two weeks ago. We were talking, the right wing was going nuts because Jeff Bezos' ex-wife can contribute so much many to like meals on wheels. That's how low the fruit has fallen. Because they just don't.

Because they're just idiots. I can't even get into it. They're just, the Bezos is her assholes and all of the people who want to rearrange their lives and make America worse so that Lauren Sanchez, Bezos, and Jeff Bezos can have a fluffier life. I'll never understand it. But please order my book. Not Today, Fascists. You can order it wherever you get your books. Make sure you're subscribed to our other podcast. IHIPP News and we will be back later. us to start the podcast. My name is Shannon Maldonado. I'm the founder of Yowie, a gift shop from the lens of artists and handmade objects. I chose Shopify because when I was testing other platforms, it was definitely one of the most user-friendly. It was important to me to think about where we would be in the future, all of the tools for reading your sales like planning inventory, they're just right there on your dashboard.

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