I've Had It - Shopping for Pain with Kaitlyn Bristowe

Episode Date: February 13, 2024

Jen and Pumps are joined by Kaitlyn Bristowe to talk about ti**y baby NFL fans, her recent public break-up and how to handle the internet trolls that come with it. Jennifer has had it with the mile-long receipts at CVS and she also confesses to a scam she's been running on her biological children. Pumps dishes out more legal jargon than one can handle, leaving the listener - and the world - stunned by her legal prowess. Come see I've Had It live on the Hot Sh*t Tour! More info & tickets available at https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast and subscribe to I've Had It wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you to our sponsors: Bombas: Ready to get comfy and give back? Head over to Bombas. com/hadit and use code hadit for twenty percent off your first purchase. Peloton: Wherever you’re starting, get moving with a Peloton Bike or Bike+ rental at www.onepeloton.com/bike/rentals. Terms apply. Shopify: Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/hadit now to grow your business, no matter what stage you’re in. Express VPN: Secure your online activity by visiting ExpressVPN.com/HADIT TODAY and you can get an extra three months FREE. Happy Mammoth: Listener, you can get your first bottle of Hormone Harmony for 15% OFF if you use the code HADIT on the checkout page. Go to HappyMammoth.com and enter the promo code HADIT on the checkout page. Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps Special Guests  Kaitlyn Bristowe: @kaitlynbristowe

So we supposed to start the podcast. Ready? One, two, three. Nailed it. I mean, you are probably the best clapper in the country. Hands down. What do you do for a living? I'm a clapper. Yeah. I'm the best clapper in the country. My best friend told me I was. What about the people that are at fluffers? I'm a pretty great fluffer. I don't think you know, I don't think we're talking about the same thing. I'm talking about getting in my jammies and getting all fluffed up with my bed and my bed watching. Yeah, that's not what I was talking about.

Okay, what are you talking about? Oh, like I'm an entrepreneur. Nope. Strike two. Okay, what is it? A fluffer? Yeah. A fluffer is a person that works in the porn industry to get the people erect and keep them erect in between scenes.

What? I didn't even know there was such a job. So you could imagine my surprise when you were just talking about how great you were at it. Ha ha ha ha. Well, I'm a great fluffer in my pajamas to watch something on TV. I don't think I would excel as a porn film fluffer. Don't sell yourself short, you never know.

How did you even know that? Is that on the internet? I think I've always known it. Kylie, didn't you know about the fluffers? Yeah, it's kind of common knowledge. It's kind of common knowledge. It's not common for me think I've always known it. Kylie, didn't you know about the fluffers? Yeah, it's kind of common knowledge. It's kind of common knowledge. It's not common for me. I've never heard that. I didn't even know they had fluffers.

Yeah, porn fluffers. So they just like, oh my gosh. Or you know, Pumps. Pumps is over here giving air hand jobs and we are literally 90 seconds into this podcast. Well, I'm just trying to figure out what a fluffer,

that's what a fluffer does. What was that again? What did you say? The old hand job. I mean, that's gotta be what it is. I guess you could. We're already in the gutter. Poms were already had it with.

What I've had it with are these signs on street corners that say uncontested divorces $250. I've had it with that because it makes people think, oh, well, this, this should be cheap. Well, let me just a few points to make. Number one, the filing fee in Oklahoma County or anywhere in Oklahoma, for that matter, is over $250. So that, that's one. Okay. Two, it takes a lot of time,

even in a quote unquote uncontested divorce because I will tell you in 25 years of doing it, I have had very few full on uncontested divorces. People are like, oh yeah, it's gonna be amicable, it's gonna be uncontested. Then we're fighting over stupid shit, like you know, a wedding gift 14 years ago. Right. So that bugs me. Another thing is, is there's, you have to prepare, even if you have an uncontested divorce, you have to prepare like five different original documents for

it. Especially a legal mind such as yourself. There's no way that you're being anything but thorough in front of a judge in a court of law. Right. Dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun I've had it. I should start saying that. I've had it. Irrelevant that my client is a fluffer. That has nothing to do with his character. It's honest work.

Exactly. Yeah. No, but I see what you mean. That's a total dick over because then you've got these clients that call you. Right. They're like, well, we're not fighting over it. And I saw on the street sign it's $250.

So it demeans your overall career. But here's one thing people have got to understand about what you do. And I only know this by proxy. You guys divorce law. Oh my God. These people are insane. Imagine for those of you that are not legally married, that you're most crazy, psychotic breakup,

and multiply it times 10, 15 million, and that's kind of where you are. And these people think that their lawyer is going to make everything right, and it's simply not possible. Right, I mean, I've had to tell clients before, I can't change what 15 years of marriage did with one document. I can't change what 15 years of marriage did with one document.

I can't change the behavior of your spouse. I can't change the financial situation you had while you were married. Like, these are things that are out of my control. But it takes a lot of time and a lot of back and forth between clients. Handholding. Handholding.

Therapy sessions. Therapy, kind, a mini therapist. So I mean, the $250 just goes all fucking through me. Cause I'm like, let me ask you this. If, if there's a divorce case, all right, but it is like top notch, juicy. And the client's constantly calling you

to tell you all this juicy crap that's going on I'm talking about sexual misbehaving spying all the good juicy stuff But none of it is relevant to the case at hand Do you stay on the phone and get the intel or do you say I don't need to know this? This is irrelevant. Let's move on to this I Am at the point in my life that I say, I appreciate that's happened to you. It sounds to me like it's not, you know, it's not appropriate, but that's not something I can do anything about.

Like we're in no fault divorce state. So who your husband or wife is banging is just not on the table unless there's a reason for it. Here you have once again proven to the podcasting world that you are one of this country's greatest legal minds. I don't think that's true, but I appreciate it. That's what I'm here to do, Pumps, supports you. All right, a couple of things on my end.

Okay, first of all, I've had it with the receipts at CVS. They're 100 feet long. Right, like they have coupons and all this shit on your receipt and you're like, I don't need all that. So you're standing there right when you're not doing the self-checkout, you have a clerk and they're checking you out.

This is not the clerk's fault. This person just works there. And then this thing starts printing and it prints and it cuts and it prints and it cuts and it prints and it cuts and then the and then the clerk like starts tearing them apart and you get this stack of papers. Right. And I don't want any of it. No, I never get any of them. Why are we getting, you know, 20 yards of receipts at CVS or Walgreens? I've had it with this.

I've had it with that too. It's just, first of all, at least speaking on behalf of myself, they can give me a thousand coupons and I will never remember to use them. Or if I do remember to use them, I don't have them with me. I always forget. Always forget. So I've never been able use them. Or if I do remember to use them, I don't have them with me. I always forget. Always forget. So I've never been able to be a couponer.

And now aren't all the coupons online? I mean, why would anybody need to hand you a paper receipt with all that shit? I don't understand why these corporations are flexing at the register. It's like a dick measuring receipt. And it just keeps growing and growing and growing. And I don't know who's behind it.

I don't know what the psychology is behind it. It was a terrible idea from the job. From the job. Nobody needs all that. Nobody wants all that information. I've had it with all of that. Second thing I wanna move on to is somewhat of a confession. Okay.

Okay. I'm always giving you hard time about your relationship with your shaved Siberian Husky Blaze. Correct. I want to share some information with you and the listener. So sometimes, you know, on the weekends, on Saturday and Sunday, I go play pickleball in the morning and I get home and I load my dogs up and we go to the cemetery for an off leash run. Right. Okay. They run. I have

a little ball. We throw it around. We have a fantastic time. Right. Right. And this winter, sometimes it's either been too cold, too rainy, too muddy, too icy. So I'm running a scam on the dogs. Here's what happens. I get back from pickleball and they are on me like a tick on a dog. I mean, it's intense eye contact. They are pitiful. They're acting like I just dropped them off at the adoption agency.

Right. I mean, they act like they are the most abused animals on the planet and they're just relentless. So I'm like thinking, God, it's either really cold, really icy, whatever. So I get them all hyped up and I'm like, all right, let's go. Yeah, let's go on our run. Let's go on our run. And I get them in the car and we just drive through the neighborhood and I roll down the back windows and I start calling for squirrels on each side and they run back and forth in the backseat, right? And we go for

about 20 minutes and I pull back up into the house, never let them run and I take them inside and I fill the ice water up and I make it feel like this big event. Right. I'm running a total racket scam on my dogs. Poor Cha-Chang-Tevi. Only when the weather is not conducive to the running. Right. Yeah. I'll admit I had, I did some, I didn't perpetrate fraud. I'm perpetrating fraud. But I did like, I felt really guilty for those like three weeks that you could not go outside here. And so I've been very diligent to walk blaze every day. That's when I started the racket of driving.

Right. I mean, it's minus four degrees. And I until minus 16. I tamp them up in the car too. I'm like, look over there. There's a squirrel over here. Oh my God, look, another dog. And they just get really hyped up.

And then we come back and I tell them how good they are. I do everything the exact same as when I run them. So do you think they know they haven't been runned or do you think it's such a routine that they? I think we're on the verge of getting caught. So we had inclement weather where I was unable to do it, where I ran the racket, where I drove them around. We even drive through the cemetery that they run through

for good measure. See, I kind of think that means it works. Then we were able to go back to our runs, our off-leash runs. And then this past weekend it was raining, I didn't want them to be muddy, I didn't want to have to get my bath, so I ran the racket again, came back. Cha-cha is the type of dog that when she gets back from any sort of activity outside, She runs to her water bowl as though she has been walking in the Sahara desert for six months. It's unbelievable. It is a dehydration that makes your dehydration pale in comparison.

Right, she's so loud. She's gulping the water like crazy. And so we got back this past Sunday. It was raining, played pickleball. I won six out of seven games, that's neither of you nor there. I ran the racket on the dogs, right? And we come back in, cha-cha is like totally drinking the water,

I'm like, oh, so far so good. That's why I'm gonna go watch one of these documentaries for our documentary club. So I go and fluff up in bed and the dogs were making the intense eye contact with me. And usually when we get back from our runs, it's nap time. Yeah. They leave me alone.

They were all over me. So I'm gonna have to figure out. Anyway, probably it was their slight catching on that is causing me to have this podcast side confession, if you will. Right. I can see that. And I can see. You think it's bad pet ownership? I think you're. Right, I can see that. And I can-

Do you think it's bad pet ownership? I think you're trying and you're making an activity for him. Accommodating. You're accommodating. They wouldn't wanna be out there at minus 20 degrees. I think you're doing good. I think that's good. You're so sweet, you're so much nicer than me.

I know. Yeah, you are. All right, one other just minor update here. Things are really looking up for me in Australia. Oh, good. Yeah. I got a lot of DMs after I corrected the Brisbane pronunciation. Brisbane, Brisbane. And you said on the podcast, they hate you over there. And I received a lot of DMs. We don't hate you. We love the podcast. Oh, good. Thank you for even trying our Aussie slang. Honestly, none of us really care about anything. We just think it's all very funny.

Like they're completely unbothered and they're nice. And so I really want to work on for next year for us to do the Brecky tour in Australia. And I thought that'd be the Brecky tour. What. And I thought that'd be the thing. I would love that. Yeah, the Brecky tour. What do you think, Kylie? You know I'm down for that.

The Hot Ship Brecky tour. Okay, how long is that? How long is that on a plane? Because Kylie, you know, Shun Pina's plane. I won't be. She won't be. No, I won't. It's like 24 hours, right?

I mean, I don't think the flight's 24 hours. I think you fly from here to Los Angeles. Okay. And then probably from LA to there is probably like 12, 14 hours. 14 hours. There's no fucking way you can go 14 hours without being. I'll do it and I'll vlog it. I know I can do that.

You really are confident about it. Yeah. I have no doubts that I could pull off 14 hours. You know, the embracing of dehydration is at. I've been doing really good, Kylie. Kylie as my role model. I've been doing really good Kylie. Kylie as my role model. I've been stopping drinking anything after dinner, like no drinks. I just stop. So that way I don't have to pee all night. I've noticed the Stanley Cup hasn't been as ubiquitous as it has been in the

past. Well, but my new thing is I take it with me. It's in my car. Yeah. So that when I get done with something like if I come here, like when I'm done with this, I get in my car and it's like, oh, it's a treat or I go to Luke's basketball game or football game and I leave it in my car. And then when it's over, it's like, oh, that's a treat. You're delaying gratification. I'm delaying gratification. You see, and that's the key because you know what the Stanley Cup is? It's instant gratification at all times and everybody's face. And I do love it. It's hydration theater.

You're doing delayed gratification with the Stanley. I come in that. It's kind of a, it's like a job well done treat. I like that. I like that. Welcome to I've Had It, also known as, say it, Pumps. Girl, please. Ha ha ha ha.

Kylie. I'm gonna let you guys choose your own adventure today. Okay. Do you want a crazy story from a listener that emailed us or do you want some MAGA hate comments? Golly. God, that's tough. That's tough. We can't have both. Can we please have both, Mom? You can have both. What do you want some MAGA hate comments? Golly. God, that's tough. That's tough.

We can't have both. Can we please have both, Mom? You can have both. What do you want first? Go to MAGA. Let's go to MAGA first. We'll start with the bad. So we posted a video talking shit on MAGA on TikTok recently.

Obviously, they found it. They put it on Twitter. Voila, here we are. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Okay, so we're going to start with at the Fauchist. The Fauchist? Wait, is that some play on Anthony Fauci?

It's a photo of Dr. Fauci. Oh, God. I thought it was gonna say, ah, the Fauchist misspelled. Oh, so it's a, you know, they're obsessed with Dr. Fauci. All he did was try to save lives, but that's here and there. All right, the tortured inner world of leftism is written on her face. It's always you. It can only be, you're an it now.

It can only be happy mocking others with smug. If it weren't Trump, it would be anything else. The black heart could get some chuckles from vacant wannabes, which is our listeners, bitter clingers, deplorables, white supremacists. White supremacists? What? How'd they get that? What, they said calling, wait.

They called you a white supremacist. They called the best white supremacists. See, that tells you they're dumb. Yeah. That's just not a very smart person. No, that's a low IQ. I mean, that's like, that's one of those things where somebody says that and you they're dumb. Yeah. That's just not a very smart person. No. That's a low IQ. I mean, that's like, that's one of those things where somebody says that and you go, exactly.

That's exactly what I'm talking about. Low IQ. Can't get any nuances. I mean, just a real bottom feeder. It's just like, thank you for saying that you've just proven my point. Excellent. I love it when my wife defends me.

Do you hear that? It's hot. Yeah. Yeah, I love it when my wife defends me. Do you hear that? It's hot. Yeah. Yeah, I just, first of all, I do enjoy a MAGA hate comment because it's a special kind of cookie. Yeah, it is. I do like that.

I like that they noticed your black heart. So congratulations to you. I was really touched by that because that's spot on. That's it, right. So I just, you know. That was the only insightful, true thing that they said. Right. Then at XXX factors wrote, yeah, they're 80 years old.

Not bad though. Here's what I love. So much to do with size. Donald Trump is obsessed with size. A lot of these Mac are obsessed with these huge trucks, these huge flags, huge tires. His name is XXX. Big guns. Big guns.

I mean, it just goes back to the thesis statement that we've said for years. Teeny weenies. Just got a bunch. We've just got a collection of teeny weenies. We do. All right, we're moving on to the email. Okay.

From our listener, Sammy J. Okay. My sister-in-law's mom is completely blind. I'm talking can't see her hand right in front of her face level blind. She has been for over 20 years now, but somehow still has her driver's license and drives every single day.

In parentheses, Louisiana, am I right? Recently, she's been in the midst of a lot of drama with her small Southern Towns mayor. She's been going and sitting outside of City Hall all day every day for weeks now and live streaming it on Facebook. So recently, because of her drama with the mayor, she has been more visible around town and people are realizing that it is her that literally almost fucking kills people every day with her car.

Because of this, people in town have been reaching out to the mayor and the city council trying to get her license revoked because she spends every day live streaming herself being insane and almost plowing people with her car. She caught wind of the reports slash calls for her license to be revoked. Now she is on Facebook screaming that people are discriminating against her for being blind and trying to take away her license.

All caps girl, you are fucking blind. You should not be fucking driving anyways. Thought I'd share this with you because I literally cannot make this shit up. No, you can't. You cannot make that shit up. You know what the perfect response to that is? Girl, please. I mean, what the fuck? Here's the thing, too.

Facebook fucked up her whole scam. Right. She didn't have to livestream it. She's out there driving and then it's Facebook gets everybody in trouble. Gets everybody in trouble and I just find it's so odd that she's claiming discrimination in the same post that she's saying she's blind. It's kind of again like you're making the point like you shouldn't have a driver's license. She's confessing. You're confessing that you're blind.

Right. Therefore you shouldn't have a driver's license. She's confessing. You're confessing that you're blind, therefore you shouldn't have a driver's license. They can't discriminate you against you to take your license because you're fucking blind. Yeah. I mean, you don't have to take an eye test to get a driver's license. Yeah, but if I have memory serves,

I don't think I've taken, you know, when I've had to redo my license, I don't think I've taken another eye test. I think when you knew it, you don't have to, but originally I think you do. No, when you're like 16. Yeah, because I remember Dylan, my oldest son, we take him to get his driver's license

and he takes the driver, the eye test and Josh was with him and Josh called me and he was a wreck and he was like, you're not gonna believe this. And I'm like, what? And he goes like, Dylan cannot fucking see in his left eye. And he's 16 years old. Now he's traveling on an interior design install,

like in a different state. And I was like, what? We're both, neither one of us are hysterical parents. Right. And he'd been to every pediatrician appointment, all the school sponsored, you know, hearing and site checks. And I'm like, what do you mean he can't see?

And he's like, he had to look in that thing. You know, they did the right eye, the left eye, both eyes. He cannot fucking see out of his left eye. All of a sudden, all these images come back to me. I remember Dylan when he was really little, he was sitting in his high chair. And he would like, look at me and he would caulk his head one way.

And I thought, oh, that's so cute. Well, it's because he couldn't fucking see in the other eye. Josh and I feel like loser parents, deadbeat, horrible parents. I mean, it took us like a, both of us like a month to get over it. Right. And I'm like, well, he went to that pediatrician all the time and they, they do all the tests, they do eye checks.

And when he had the other eye with it, it was fine. But when you isolated the eye by itself, Marilyn practically couldn't see. You know, I bet what happened is Dylan's super smart is that when he saw it the first time with his good eye, he just memorized it. Poor Dylan, I just felt like, I just was like, Jesus Christ. Well, I did that once with Sam broke his arm,

doing something I can't remember what. And I was just like, it's fine. I was like, if it still hurts, on Monday we'll go see the doctor. So we wait, we go to the doctor. Yeah. Broken arm. I mean, I just felt like shit.

You just felt awful. Awful. Awful. It just wasn't that swollen. He wasn't like super in pain. Well, it's kind of like, you know, parenting kind of boils down to, you try to make the really good person.

You know, you try to go beyond, but at its basic core, it's like keep the people alive and healthy. Right, that's just really your mandate. When there's a failure on that, when there's a shortcoming on just the, where it's like, oh my God, he can barely see out of his left eye and we spent all weekend

with a broken arm. You're just like, I am an abject failure. Yeah, you're like, I failed this child. I'm a terrible parent. Yeah, those are, those are not good. They're not good at all. I do kind of like though, in going back, sorry, but going back, I like that now the mayor, she's been trolling the mayor and I don't know what their politics are or whatever, but just in that situation, if I'm the mayor and somebody's trolling me, live streaming me on Facebook all day, every day, and I find out they're blind,

I'm fucking going for that license immediately. Speaking of mayors, Josh and I ran into the Oklahoma City mayor. We have a great mayor at the sushi bar the other night. We go eat sushi on the weekends and we run into our mayor, Mayor David Holt, is a wonderful person. I helped decorate his office when he won. He's the bright spot. We bash Oklahoma politics all the time, but the mayor of Oklahoma City We bash Oklahoma politics all the time, but the mayor of Oklahoma City is a little bright light of normalcy and he always tries to champion for Oklahoma City is a city that accepts all people.

Everybody. Now around Oklahoma City, there's a lot of xenophobia and whatnot, but he's at the Pride Parade. You know, he wishes the Muslim community happy Ramadan. Right, no, he's at the Pride Parade. He wishes the Muslim community happy Ramadan. Right, no, he's very inclusive. He's very inclusive, and I wanted to give a shout out to David Holt, his wife listens to the pot, and he is just a fantastic mayor.

You like the mayor, Kylie? I do like the mayor. I like the mayor. I wish he would run for governor. Well, yeah, I think he's probably too normal. Right, he's probably, I mean, he'd be too good of a candidate, a moderate person that could bring both sides together.

So obviously we wouldn't want him. We want Hellfire and Brimstone, cream it up your ass kind of thing. So we like here in Oklahoma, but not in Oklahoma City. No, Oklahoma City is better. Cause he's very popular in Oklahoma City. No, he's very popular and he's cool. And I like the mayor.

You know, he's about like six foot six. Yeah, he's super tall, ran in two minute NBA game the other night. Well, all right. Well, that's been our pre-show. We've covered a lot. We've just been from fluffing the world's problems. From fluffing to our world-class mayor.

I can't just, I can't even tell you about this fluffing. I just can't even tell you that I, I'm just shocked. What did you think happened in between scenes? Have you ever thought about it? Well, no, I've never thought about it. But now that- Let's talk about this real quick. I've been thinking about this lately

because I've been watching a lot of TV at night. Okay. To kind of like relax, unwind. And I used to think about this when I was younger, but now I'm thinking about it now. Think about when you and I were on that TV show, reality show, and then behind the camera, there's like 20, 25 people.

Multiply that to a movie. You probably got like 50 people there. And then imagine doing a full-blown sex scene. No, I can't imagine that. I think it would be so awkward and weird. I just think you'd be self-conscious. You'd be nervous, inhibited, like all the things you wouldn't want to be.

And then, you know, like, do the guys, I'm gonna imagine, because you're acting or getting into it, I'm sure they get erect. Right, but maybe they have to stay erect. I mean, I don't know how many takes it takes to make a porn. I'm not talking about the porn, I'm just talking about a normal show that has a sex scene. Oh, I just think it'd be awful.

You hear people all, like actors all the time talking about how miserable doing a sex scene is. Like you're kissing somebody that has bad breath and they're right up next to you with the camera. I think it'd be really, really hard. Yeah. Really hard. And you have to do it like 25 times. Remember that guy that was in those, uh, porno's, uh,

cause his name, he was kind of a famous one. He recently died. Uh, Jeremy. Yes. Ron Jeremy. Ron Jeremy. So one year with the kids and I were with Josh. Well, Josh and I were with the kids. And LA and we walked into an in and out burger

and Josh goes, there's Ron Jeremy. And I looked over and there he was, this porn star sitting there is not attractive at all. Sitting there having a big burger. Just had a big slong. I don't know, I've never seen any of us work. How did you know Ron Jeremy? Like you could, I would not know.

He ended up kind of becoming injected into popular culture beyond the porn. Oh, okay. Right, Kylie? Yeah, I don't know why I know him, but you know him. Everybody kind of knew who he was and you know who he was. And I've never seen one of his pornographic performances, but I knew who he was because he kind of got injected into popular culture beyond. But I do think he might have had a large penis. I would think you'd have to to be in a porn. I think that'd be kind of part of it. I would think so too. Yeah. I mean, I would just think, you know,

I wonder if anybody has like a small penis. If there are porn porn movies with men with super small penises, I wonder if that's a thing. I highly will you Google that? Small penis porn, small penis porn. Is that Google that? Small penis porn. Small penis porn. Is that a thing? Small penis porn? You're asking the wrong person.

I don't know. I would think it would not be, but then again, somebody has to like small penises. It's got its own category on Pornhub. Oh, it does. Okay. Here's what I want to know. Are you proud if you are the lead actor in the small penis porn industry? If you are number one, is that something you're like,

hey, I'm John Doe and I start in porn films, world's smallest penis, or wait, small penis porn. I want an Academy Award or whatever the award is for porn because I have the smallest penis in porn. Like I don't think you tell people that. I forgot to tell you, there was somebody on YouTube where you and I were talking about teeny weenies who kind of went crazy and they were like,

you might've seen this Kylie and they were like, stop with the penis size, you've got to stop body-shaming people. Well, I guess we know a lot about that person. I know, it kind of makes me sad. It kind of makes me sad too. I mean, because we're total assholes. There's no question about it.

We're total assholes? We don't want to pile on, but here's the situation. When you're a woman, you fall prey to so many more layers of shit about your appearance. And then you start looking at all these men that have been in charge of everything and the patriarchy for such a long time and how much harder it is,

how much more criticism you're under and you just get kind of feisty about it. You do get feisty about it. We like to grab the low hanging fruit pumps and me. And that's the teeny weeny. Or the short hanging fruit pumps in me. And that's the teeny weeny or the short hanging fruit. The small too easy. It was a layup. I lobbed it up and you just did it. Yeah, I just served

it up. Okay. All right. it's time to welcome our guest. Today on I've Had It, she is the host of Off the Vine Pod, Caitlyn Bristow. Do you suffer from having a parasocial relationship with two barely competent middle-aged women? If so, please go to I'veHadItPodcast.com or to any social media site I'm talking ex, formerly Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, etc. and click the link in bio. And come see us at the Hot Shit Tour. Make your

parasocial relationship real at the Hot Shit shit tour, write pumps, tell them. It's so fun, we hope to see you there. Ha ha ha ha. Pumps, you know what the worst thing is about exercise? Starting it. That's exactly right. Sharding it is everything. That's the most important factor when it comes to fitness.

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That's E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N dot com slash had it. And you can get an extra three months for free. ExpressVPN.com slash had it. Hi, Caitlin. Welcome to I've Had It. How are you? You've caught me on a good day because I've had it with a lot of things today. Oh, perfect.

I love that. Good. I'm good, but thank you so much for having me on. I love your guys' podcasts. Thank you. We're so glad you're here. So, Caitlin, you know, Pumps and I, before you got on, we were just ripping on a bunch of stuff.

And I told Pumps, the word fluffer came up, and Pumps told me she was really good at that. And then I said, I don't think we're talking about the same thing. And so, if I were to tell you, do you know what a fluffer is, how would you answer that question? I thought that was somebody who comes in in the middle of like a porn scene. Exactly. And like, yeah, Rita is like your hair and like it gets the bedsheets a little nicer

and just fluffs everything up. And keeps the penis erect. Oh, yes. And keeps the penis erect. Yes. Yeah. So, Pumps was today years old and she's old, Caitlin. I mean, we're talking advanced AARP age.

She just found out about the porn industry fluffing right before we had you on. I had never heard that term before. I thought it meant like- Welcome to the party. Yeah, I thought it meant just like getting in your jammies and watching like a show. That's not, that's adorable.

Yeah, I'm pretty naive though. And gullible has been well established. That's okay. There could be worse things that you don't know what they are. It's okay to not know what a fluffer is. All right, Caitlin, what have you had it with? Oh my gosh. Can we do like men in general? I'm really over men being babies. So that is just something I'm dealing with right now that we don't have to get too much into because I'm more into, well, I guess it kind of goes along with it. The NFL, people like NFL football fans, they're all, they've all had it with Taylor Swift getting her moment at these games. Subnoxious. And it's so obnoxious because I'm like, it's just, you don't see Travis Kelsey getting

shit on when he comes to a Taylor Swift concert. All the women are like, wow, it's just, you don't see Travis Kelsey getting shit on when he comes to a Taylor Swift concert. All the women are like, wow, he's supportive. He's so great. And then she goes to games to support return the favor. And everyone's like, we've seen enough. Well, blame the NFL then because they're the ones putting the cameras on her at all times, making a big deal about it.

Yeah. But these are also the same people I will remind everybody that allegedly had boycotted the NFL because of the kneeling thing. And now they're back because they never left. And now they're mad because Travis Kelsey got vaccinated and it's stupid bullshit. And I mean, at the end of the day, if she brings more people to the sport,

I mean, aren't we all excited about that? But I worship Taylor Swift right now and I was always neutral on her. But ever since she's pissed off the far right wing, I mean, I'm lapping it up. I'm a Swiftie. I'm all in. I'm gonna tattoo Swiftie on my arm. Here's the thing. I read this article in all of the coverage and I think she's been at five or six NFL games. They're three and a half hours long. The most coverage she has gotten at any of these NFL games is 25 seconds.

The average is like 17, 18, 19, but on one game, they showed her for a total in three and a half hours of 25 seconds and people are going to eat shit. I honestly, I think it's rampant sexism. Yes. And they're threatened, like they're threatened because she does, uh, wield a big stick as far as like, um, this followers and, uh, mobilizing people to vote and it's very scary. And when it's a woman, it's even that much more threatening and the temptation to tear that woman down is just, it's teed up.

And it's too, it's delicious for them to try to do it. I'm with you on that totally. And I saw there's like TikTok videos of like young boys going to get her records and like smashing them. And I'm like, why are we like, why is everybody such a baby? Why can't everyone just use their big boy voice and say like, stand up for what, what is really bothering you about this? And like talk about it in a way where you're being honest

and you can actually back up your feelings. Don't just pout about it and cry about and smash records and be like, eh, like use your voice. What happened to people using their voice and standing up for what is it that's really upsetting you? Aren't these the same people that were like bashing their bed light Right shooting the bed light can't yes, you know, it's just it's this It's this crazy like

Reaction if they don't get their way, they're gonna have explosive diarrhea and throw feces all over everyone It's just like if you don't like bed light Don't drink drink light, get over it. Don't drink it. If they want to have a trans influencer advertised for them, the majority of us don't care and aren't judgmental about that. But if you want to be, by all means, go ahead.

But the theater of smashing a record and smashing a beer because you don't get your way, you know what we call these people? Titty babies, yeah. Titty babies, like they're still hooked on the mother's titty? That's right, it's a southern thing, they're titty babies. And so I think we're just gonna have to cling on

a little bit longer until all the boomers. I know, I was thinking that, say, I think I'm like eventually, but then I worry about how they're raising their children and if that's just going to keep continuing to be a thing. And it's unfortunate because in like the bachelor fandommonium, whatever you want to call it, the bachelor nation, a lot of them are kind of in that same realm of people. And I see it so much in like going through a public breakup, just like

there wasn't sides at the beginning. It was like a breakup that we both agreed was the right thing, but people want to take sides so badly. And then those teddy babies go into like, oh, I see that I'm getting attention from this me being a cry baby and I'm playing my little violin. Maybe there are sides I'm going to play into that. And then it turns into something

that it never was in the first place. And I feel like that's just like the world we're living in right now. And it's so annoying. Right, everybody has to take a side. Nobody can just see both sides. Yeah, and then we gotta play into the sides because they're working for us.

And then it's just like makes a bigger deal out of something that's nothing. I'm over it. Well, at the end of the day, the whole like Taylor Swift, Travis nothing, I'm over it. Well, at the end of the day, the whole Taylor Swift, Travis Kelsey, it's all entertainment. I mean, all of that is just, it's not like they're going out making massive policy change.

No, they're going to football games. It's a football game and she's a pop singer and it's like, why are you that butt hurt over all of that? But here's something, you had emailed us when we were talking about having you on that you had had it with comparing yourself to people that you don't want to be like, which brings me to a TikTok deep dive that I just did this weekend, which is a couple named Pookie and Jet. Oh, fuck. Have you seen this couple? Oh, yes. I have also done a deep dive and spent an embarrassing amount of time on their

tech talk. Yeah. So listener, let me explain the Pookie and jet. It's this young married couple and her, I don't know what a real name is, but he calls her Pookie. They're white, of course. And, um, jet is always like, Hey pookie, what you wearing tonight? She's like, I got my air mess bag and I got a revolved top.

And then he starts going in what he's wearing. He's like, well, I'm wearing a cashmere sweater and he's like bringing her Chick-fil-A in bed every morning. I went back, I went back six or seven months. I went, I went deep. I went deepn. Wow, nice. I went deep. I went deep and I couldn't stop. I was like, this is insane. Stop watching it and I couldn't stop. I was trying to get to the wedding, which I never found.

Never got to the wedding. Oh, you never got there? No, I never got there. Shoot, I was gonna say, I don't know if I went on that. I was scrolling for quite a while. But have they been doing this for like, how long have they been doing their TikToks? And did they just recently blow up on TikTok or something?

Because my girlfriend sent it to me and I've gone through so many different emotions with them where I'm like, I love this. And then I hate it and then I'm on comfy and then I think it's hilarious. And I don't know where I land right now with these two I don't I don't know if they're entertaining and funny or just like really sad and pathetic. I don't know Okay, so let's let's jump into that

Number one is a rule of thumb. I'm just gonna say when your identity Becomes like, you know the families that have a family account and the husband and wives have a husband and wife account. As a rule of thumb, I'm gonna say there's some fuckery going on behind the camera. I agree. Just right out of the gates, like couples that tweet each other or Facebook each other when they're sitting on the sofa

and they're Instagram commenting. Right out of the gates, I think it's a red flag. Look, I found it wildly entertaining. I don't know why it was mind numbing and gross and interesting and all of the emotions that you just described. But I think that there's something about like that generation where it's like this over wealth and thirst trapping on the internet that can be wildly entertaining but I also hate if you're a Gen Z'er and you see that and you're insecure and I don't I don't know what

the impact of all that stuff is gonna be like long-term. I worry about that too because in this next generation coming up, I mean, they have all of this internet, crazy like content that goes viral for the dumbest things where like that's what they think is what they should be going for or striving for in life is to go viral for like the dumbest content. And I worry because some of TikTok is actually quite educational.

I find I can learn a lot on there. And there's some things where I'm like, oh, this is great. And then you can just get sucked in the suck hole of some pooky shit. And you're like, what am I doing? And you've just numbed your mind for hours on it. And that's what a lot of our, the next generation is doing. And it's terrifying.

Well, you know what's interesting is like for me, we didn't grow up, Pumps and me, with smartphones in our hands. And so we have Kylie, our producer, will make these TikToks and Twitters and all this stuff and it'll go viral. I'm able to put my phone down and none of it is real, none of it matters. I cannot think, I can go a full day, day and a half, two days and not even think about it, not look at a comment because it's not real to me. It's I even get wrapped up in that. Like even sometimes I worry about what people are thinking

or if I'm watching a story, I'm like, like, I get kind of trapped in the, is this real life thing. And, and sometimes it like really bothers me. I wish I could step out and be like you, I wish I could be like, well, that doesn't even bother me because it's not real. Do the do the hate comments. Does it bother you? It depends if I'm on my period or not. I don't want to talk about my ex too much, but like the fact that he can go out and say something and he's promoting something and then I can, I want to be the bigger person, take the higher road and you know, but then I get these hate comments and I'm like, am I not using my voice?

Am I not standing up for myself or am I taking the higher road and I get consumed in that? Then on another day, like let's say it's two weeks after my period, I actually can find it comical and laugh and be like, oh my God, look what this person said to me. That's so ridiculous. So it really depends. Yeah. Are you single now? Have you started dating again?

I've been on a few dates, but I just, I feel like I'm such a relationship girl. Like I went from, you know, I was in a relationship, I took two years to be single and I did like a lot of work from 27 to 30, then I went on on the bachelor then I went on the bachelorette and then I was engaged and then I jumped into another relationship I got engaged there. So now I'm trying to like Take a breath and even though I'm I would love to be in a relationship. I'm 38 I I feel like I'm in a good place for myself. I feel like I'm always ready, but I dating is scary to me. It's a lot of work, isn't it?

Dating is a lot of work. Has your ex, has he started dating? I don't know. That's always hard. That's all, I always want to be the first one that starts dating somebody. The thing is, like, I can, like, it's good, like you can break up and get,

you want to be the first one that dates. You want to be the first one in a new relationship. And you want to be the first one in a new relationship. Cause when you see your ex go on and move on to be happy, it's like a whole re-triggering impact. At least it has been for me in the past. In my experience, it's like you're happy for them. You want the best for them.

You know that it's not right, the two of you together, but there's just still something about seeing what somebody else thinks about it. Think about it now though, Pumps. Think about it. Now you see it online. We had back in the day, in the 90s, you'd say, oh my God, I saw John Doe at a bar or something.

And he had his arm around this girl and then you're driving around trying to figure out who it is. I don't, I mean, that would be a dagger. I think that'd be really hard. A re-empire. Really hard. I'm really good at, I call it shopping for pain. I'm really good at not shopping for pain. I'm really good at, I call it shopping for pain.

I'm really good at not shopping for pain. I'm really good at like not going to look for it and to upset me. So I don't know, but also at the same time, I am in a place where I actually do want him to move on because I feel like he kind of uses the breakup to monetize. So I'm like, can you like, can we move on now? I'm like, I'm kind of ready for him to actually be happy

so it doesn't have to involve, his topics don't have to involve me anymore. I'm really impressed with your restraint and shopping for pain. And I never heard it called that before. I don't know that I share that same discipline and restraint and I know for sure that pumps doesn't because we launched multiple investigations into her ex-husband and my current husband wherein we were in complete disguise and stole a babysitter's car and drove around town

shopping for pure pain and enjoyed every second of it. Hey, if you enjoy it, that's one thing. I just know that I don't find joy. I'm not saying it's healthy. Yeah, it's definitely toxic. It was toxic and the long term, it probably hurt us. We're more evolved now. Right. But I still think we'd go shopping for pain.

Oh, I think you think we're still kind of fucked up. I love a good steak out, though. I do. I love. We love a good stake out though. I do. I love, I love like, okay, where are they? Let's find them like narrowing it down. I love all that shit. I used to always want to be in the FBI. So that's just great.

Well see, there you go. There's some sort of like sick twisted enjoyment from it, but if you have any kind of enjoyment from it, that's one thing. It might not be healthy, but you enjoy it. I actually like will make myself sick if I do that and I don't enjoy it and like I just know and again, I'll still, it doesn't mean I never do it. Like sometimes I'll get stuck in the DMs and be like, Oh my gosh, people really are like hating on me today and I'll continue and then I stopped

myself because I'm like, this doesn't feel good, but I will never like anytime I've ever gone through a breakup, I will, I will unfollow, I will not go look at their stuff, I will, if they show up on my For You page, I click the like, this is not for me, I don't wanna see anything healthy. That is really healthy. Here's the thing for me, and I think, and maybe it's a Gen X thing.

People that I know that I love or have an affection for, they can hurt me. Strangers on the internet, you know, Karen in Toledo, Ohio, that could send me some Barnburner, Ash Chewin, DM or comment. I'm really kind of tickled and flattered that she took the time and care to pay that attention to me. And the meaner the comment, the more I like it.

The more it warms my black heart. Typically I'm not super sensitive about the strangers. I'm just like, who cares what? It's just like, why would anybody care what Jennifer and Pabst and Oklahoma City thought? Like the people that get butt hurt about the stuff we talked about on the podcast, I'm like, why do you care?

Why do you care? Don't listen. It's real easy. Okay. Well, they're the ones shopping for pain as well. Right. Yeah, but I will say, we have not always been this rock solid. And there have been multiple times where we have

gone to great links. I mean, great investigative links to shop for pain. Yeah, I love that. And here's what's so fucked up about it. We kind of enjoyed it. We have fun doing S and M emotional S and M thing to it. Yeah, definitely. I'm jealous. I wish I could find some sort of enjoyment in it. Okay, no, don't. Your whole thing of blocking all that's much healthier. Right, you're way healthier than we are. You know, pumps, all women struggle with hormone imbalance our whole lives from the time we get our first period

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This product is so effective. Get this pumps. They sell a bottle every 24 seconds. Listener, you can get your first bottle of hormone harmony for 15% off if you use the code HADDIT on the checkout page. Go to happymammoth.com and enter the promo code HADIT on the checkout page. Pumps out of all of the people that we partner with, I think Shopify has got to be the one that makes us look so competent and makes our business seem so official and so legit

when it comes to marketing the merch for our podcast. I don't know what we would have done without Shopify. We were so overwhelmed with the idea of merch. How are we going to get it to these places? Where are we going to mail it? How are we going to post it? How about returns? We didn't have to worry about any of that because Shopify did it for us. And you know, Shopify powers 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S. and Shopify is the global force behind Albrids, Rothy's, Brooklyn, and millions of other entrepreneurs of every size

across 175 countries. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash had it, all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash had it now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. That's Shopify.com slash had it now to grow your business. No matter what stage you're in, that's Shopify.com slash had it. Okay, we're going to play a game with you called had it or hit it. Oh my God. Welcome to had it or hit it.

I would hit it. Had it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. All right, had it or hit it, oat milk. Can I be in the middle or is that not really the game? You have to go to the side. We're not doing this yet. We're going to corner you.

OK, OK, OK, OK. I hit it. I don't think I've ever had oat milk. Have you ever had it? No, I've only ordered it for Kylie. I didn't even know it was a thing until Kylie. I'm the youngie in the latte. Yeah, I've never had it. If I'm going milk, I'm just going skim.

Yeah, me too. I don't know how I feel about it. I don't think I've ever had it on my nut. I'm not from a nut. I know I always think milk from a nut, that's all. You can't milk a nut. You can't milk a nut, but you can do a lot of things. Yeah, but that grosses me out less than milking a cow

and putting that white leather. Like the edders and all that. Honestly, you're right. Like the other. No, it's way less gross. You're exactly right. It's really fucked up that we squeeze a cow's boobies, their teeth and get their milk and that we drink it.

But I just have accepted it from the job. It's just how it's always been. And the oat milk seems weird. But I will crush cheese. Like cheese plate. I crush so it doesn't get up. Love it, I love cheese. Okay.

Had it or hid it, Justin Bieber. Oh, I will always hid it. I will hid it from the back. I'll hid it in every way I can with Justin Bieber. I'm Canadian, he's Canadian. I have dreams about him. I love the Biebs always. Oh, I'm a believer for sure.

Yeah, okay. I took my kids when he was 16, when he was like little baby beaver to their concert, to his concert. And I mean, I was just like, because I was just kind of like, yeah, I'm going to drag him. It's going to be fine. I'll do it. And I mean, by the end of the night, I was, baby, baby.

I mean, I was all in. I think he's so talented. He's so adorable. He's very talented. He's been through a lot, man. He started when he was young. I'm all in on him. I think that whole child acting, he's so adorable. He's very talented. He's been through a lot, man. He started when he was young. I'm all in on him. I think that whole child acting, singing, is really precarious

and difficult. And now, I mean, I'm not like a huge, I like him. I mean, I'm not like, I don't have him on playlists or whatnot, but I like him on playlists. And he has that super hot wife. Super hot wife. They sing how he loves one's daughter? No Super hot wife. They see how it goes. Is that Alec Baldwin's daughter?

No, I think it's Steven Baldwin's daughter. Yeah, Steven Baldwin, yeah. Yeah, she's a total babe. Gorgeous, well she's like a super model. Yeah, yeah, she's totally beautiful. Okay, had it or hid it, horoscopes. I am a basic little bitch for horoscopes. I did some research on your Instagram.

Oh, I'm a freak. Prior to this, and I noticed that you seem like the type of gal that probably thinks your life might fall apart during Mercury retrograde. True or false, Caitlin? So true. So, so true. I am like, on one end I'm like, I'm so spiritual

and I'm like the freak that goes outside and talks to the moon and I will like write things down when it's like the new moon and put the crystals on it. But I'm also like, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about or what I'm doing. I just like, I believe in it so hard yet I don't have the research behind it. I just love it.

You just like it. It's fun. Okay. Had it or hid it, you're gonna pick up a theme on this. Drake. Oh, you're hitting me up a theme on this, Drake. Oh, you're hitting me with all the Canadians, got it. I will actually hid it. I love his music.

I think he's super talented and he seems like he's like a bit of a, like kind of got a nerdy side, which I love a nerd. Yeah, I like a nerd too. I'm hitting it. Pumps just found out a few weeks ago who a nerd. Yeah, I like a nerd too. I'm hitting it. Pumps just found out a few weeks ago who Drake was. Right. I knew he set on the sidelines for the Raptors games, but I know I still don't think I could pick out a Drake song.

Really? I promise you would. He's got a very specific sound. Yeah, I feel like he could. I feel like he could. I probably would know, but I just don't know who he is. I mean, I just wouldn't recognize it. Like I probably know all the words, but I don't know who sings it.

Yeah, I would hit Drake. I like him. Did you see a nude just leaked of him, I think, today? No. Anyone can look it up for themselves, but apparently something leaked and like the black box for what they were covering was like. So he's very well endowed at a pair. Well, that's great for Pup.

She's a big size girl. So she likes a rock hard cock. We talked about this a couple of days ago. She can't quit talking about him, Caitlin. It's a whole thing. It's a whole thing. She needs to get laid. She hasn't been laid in quite some time.

She wanted to rename the podcast Rock Hard Cockchats. In a moment of weakness. Yeah. And I don't even remember saying it, but I know I did say it. I don't know why. Drake might be my guy, except that I'm old enough to be his mother. He might like a little cougar love.

I don't think he does. Yeah, I think he does. I think he might like a little cougar love. He might be like, I don't know that I'm equal to the task on Drake. I think you could do it. I mean, his pop star, the rap. Hey, you're a podcasting sensation.

Don't sell yourself short tops. Absolutely. Shut the fuck up. Yes. Okay, last one. Had it or hid it, roses. You know what? I've kind of had it.

I went through phases because I was like, if I never see a rose for the rest of my life, I'll be fine. And then I was like, and then I saw it as like, I got a rose tattooed on me actually, because I was like, you know, that was a really pivotal time for me. I wouldn't have what I have today without going on that show.

And I went through like this gratitude phase of, you know, being happy for all of the roses that I got to either have or hand out. And now I'm just over them again, cause I don't think there's better flowers out there. I would imagine that everything you've gone through out and now I'm just over them again because I don't think I think there's better flowers out there. I would imagine that everything you've gone through with roses that it would lead to a hat-it. That's why I kind of paid that one to be last. I thought you'd probably give props to all the Canadian men. They're all hot, you know, they're all fuckable. Yeah, they are. They're all fuckable.

That's true. You know, they're all talented. We've got some really big Canadian legends that have come out of there and and they're all good looking and talented. Yeah, and apparently well endowed. Apparently. Yeah. I'm gonna have to find that picture. Kylie, we gotta find that picture. I'll send it to you. I'm sure Kylie's already got it. Yeah. We cannot thank you enough for joining us. We're so glad that we were able to have this time with you. And you seem like you're doing great and we wish you the very best. And I would love to be back on your pot again sometime in the future. Thank you, Caitlin. Bye. Bye, guys. I really like that.

Caitlin Bristow, I really like her. I love the shopping for pain. Yeah, we were kind of bad at that. Terrible. Yeah. I like the tagline, shopping for pain. We did it. We did it. Big time.

Emotional masochists. We used to always call ourselves emotional masochists. We've always said that. Yeah. Shopping for pains catchier. Yeah, it is. It is. It's a lot catchier.

We're just so intelligent, we labeled it properly. Ha ha ha ha ha. That's what it is. Uh huh. But God, you know, it's wild when you think about like, she's just this normal gal that lives in Canada and then she gets on the bachelor and the bachelorette and then your life just explodes.

That's crazy. That's crazy. Do you watch that, the bachelor bachelorette? I haven't watched it since the first two seasons. Yeah, which was like 20 years ago, wasn't it? Right, yeah. I mean, Sam was little. I haven't either.

I don't watch it, but I mean, people love it. It's like bachelor Nation, Bachelor Islands, The Golden Bachelor, all kinds of Bachelor. I just really want you to be on the Golden Bachelor. Listen up ABC. No, it's an incredible Golden Bachelorette. No, I would not be. It would be.

I would hate that. I would hate that. I would hate that. Television. I would rather. I would hate that. I would hate that. I would hate that. Television. I would rather. I would love it. Kylie, would you love it? Anna and I have already talked about this.

No, I would love it. That would be the, like, literally, I would have- America would love it. It would be a form of Patriotism. Patriotism, it would be incredible. It would be incredible.

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