I've Had It - Small Peen Regime

Episode Date: February 3, 2026

Memaw whips out some pen and paper to give us an excruciatingly detailed breakdown of Trump's cabinet...Order our book, join our Substack, shop our merch, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast.Thank you to our sponsors:This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp: BetterHelp makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist. Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/HADITHexClad: Find your forever cookware @hexclad and get 10% off at https://hexclad.com/Hadit! #hexcladpartnerMSI : Go to https://MSIUnitedStates.org for info and to give, or you can just text M-S-I to Five Eleven Five Eleven. Follow Us:I've Had It Podcast: @IvehaditpodcastJennifer Welch: @mizzwelchAngie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumpsKiley Josey: @kileyjoseySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready, one, two, three. Patriots, gay triots, vatriots, black triots, brown triots. Oh, and all of maga can. Fuck on! All right, pups, what have you had it with? Okay, I've had it, had it with up to my eyeballs in shit, with my iPhone being updated, it's not authorized,

and I don't know what's happening after an update. It's hard enough for me to keep up on a regular basis what goes on on that phone, not to mention that then it updates and I wake up and it's like, oh, you've updated. You have to use your passcode. And then I get in there and like I can't find anything. My text messages are all messed up. They say it's time sensitive.

I go in there. I answer. I realize it's like from four months ago. And then on top adding insult to injury, I hate Tim Cook. I think he sucks so bad. So that gives me an extra resentment. And then I pop up today, you're getting an update tonight. I don't know how to stop it.

I don't know how to stop the updates, but I'm sick of it. I've had it no more. No, it's terrible. It's terrible. They never update things for the better. I feel like it is a one of these things where you have a lot of hipsters that work at Apple, who are like, we need to have a meeting and they're on Zoom calls, they're scrambling jets, they're pulling stuff out the parking lot.

They're showing, you know, let me show you. Let me pull up. Here's the hyperface. Here's what you did now. And this is the over complication. Complication. Sorry, guys. We do a lot of podcasts.

This is the over complication of all of this too many meetings. And I think that sometimes people talk too much in community. communicate too much and try to invent shit to do that doesn't need to be done. About four updates ago was the best version of the photo album they've ever had. And since then, the photo album has literally climbed to the top of the highest dive on the planet, taken a huge swan dive into a completely empty pool. And I don't even enjoy my photographs anymore. I can't find them.

I don't understand the ordering. I don't know why the search. engine used to be at the top. Now somebody's like, I got an idea. People were like, what is it? And he goes, let's move the search engine type in to the bottom. And all these sneaky McDwebersons are over. They're going, oh, fucking totally. That is an unbelievable idea. Let's move it to the bottom. That is fucking rad, man. It's just enough. And you know what? I'm just going to say, I kind of miss the button, pushing the button. I totally missed the button. I know that's total. Gen. Gen X moment, but I really liked that button.

I like the feel and the tactile nature of pushing a button. Well, and I felt like I had more control over it with the button. Like I was in charge. Now I feel like my phone's in charge of me. It's like wagging the dog that is me, which wouldn't be hard to do, given my technological stuff. But yeah, getting another update. I'm sure it'll be even more fucked up tomorrow. Yeah, it's the relationship with the phone is it's a.

really tortured one. It's a really tortured relationship for me. All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with podcasters and podcasts. And at the top of my list would be myself. Second on that list would be you because I hate me a little bit more than I hate you. Kylie and Seth, I don't. Like they, they aren't. They're awesome and they have the worst jobs in America. worse but i just feel like i'm just like our podcast our podcast here to stay or is this a phase what's what's going on with the podcasts it's just it's kind of what is it i guess it's the new radio right new talk radio yeah i think it's 100 percent radio back in the day but what's interesting is like nobody's watching like regular tv anymore so it kind of feels like they're here the news is over the news is

over, which I have to say. But not I hit news that we drop every day wherever you get your podcast. Stay with us. But I love that CBS so hard with their new CBS news thing. I mean, that has been delicious. Fucking Barry Weiss. The demon lessee from hell. I mean, what?

Lesbians are so good too. If I was a lesbian, I would be furious. I would be livid. livid about that woman because she is just you can tell she thinks she's hot shit and she doesn't know shit from shinela this broad and it's the equivalent to me of cash patel thinking yeah i'll run the fbi i got it don't it up let's let's do it i'll run the fbi i think barry wise she had this blog that you know the free press and she declared like culture wars or a problem and we're the anti-woke lesbians, let's go, anti-woke lesseys. And then lesies are like, we don't want you anyway.

So she's like, well, fuck that. Then I'm going to go join Trump. And it is such a, this is, this, it's like a, Maga thinks they're so unique and they're so original and they're like a string doll. It's like the same story with every single personal panel. We're anti-D-EI and we're anti-woke. And I think people should get their jobs on the merit. Hey, Barry Weiss was zero experience of running any news organization ever, besides your own blog that you started, why don't you run CBS News? And then you have all these seasoned,

skilled journalists that work hard, like really work hard, work for months and months and months on stories. And this insufferable twat goes in and spikes the story about Seacot. Right. And then here's the thing that gets me so hard about her. So she's this,

big like pro-Israel thumper right i would think if i was a big pro-israel thumper like we need to work on holocaust prevention i would think airing the secot story would be on the top of my fucking list to say hey we have red flags here we have people in masks denying people due process sending them to a concentration camp in el salvador this seems eerily familiar to the 1930s but But what is this fucking twat do? She spikes it and that she wants to have credibility lecturing us on Israel. Fuck off. I mean, that's the thing about evangelicals and about these far right Zionists.

They have to force you to like their opinion because they're so wrong in it and they are in such denial about how wrong they are. So that's like evangelicals, we have to recruit, recruit, recruit, the Zionists. If we control TikTok, if we control CBS, if we control this, if they don't know, that we're committing a genocide, then everybody will love us. It's like, everybody hates you. Not because you're Jewish, because you're fucking war criminals. That's why. We love Jewish people. Your Jewishness has nothing to do with the fact that you support war crimes and more criminals. That's why we don't like you. It's that simple.

Yeah, and I just don't see any difference between Benjamin Netanyahu the way he went behind. I mean, you know, he's funding Hamas on the down low. He wants to stay in office, so he's at war, corruption charges out the gazoo. And then you have Donald Trump. I mean, there are two sides of the same coin, except Netanyahu is, I think, more strategic and probably as Trump would say, higher IQ individual than Trump, not that that's hard. Well, and the problem is Netanyahu has been in and out of power for decades. That MFer has the same line.

He's been lying for years. Iran has a nuclear weapon. Iran's one day away from the like since the 1980s. Like somebody did a hyperclip of it. And the thing that it bugs me about, like the Barry Weiss's and the evangelical Christians. And it surprises me zero. Barry Weiss's first interview was with Erica Kirk. I mean, birds of a dip ship feather flocked together. Right. So both of these people are sitting there. And they have this arrogance of about them, that their worldview is just so correct. And everybody that doesn't go through their mental gymnastics of depravity and debauchery and war crimes and all this shit,

just don't understand it. We're too woke to get it. Right. And I just, I cannot wait for the spectacular fall of Barry Wise, because it's really sad, like 60 minutes was a part, I mean, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, yeah, my parents would watch and then I'd kind of be like, that was a big deal.

Yeah, it was a big deal. And like the expose on the cigarette tobacco companies and all that is big, big stuff. And it's going to fall, it's going to spiral spectacularly. And I hope the Ellisons, I hope they lose billions. I hope they just bought TikTok. And of course, they've hired incompetent people to run TikTok. I hope it loses billions. And I hope that there are new platforms that come out where we have a benevolent billionaire

that says, I hate these fuckers every bit as much as you all do. And I'm going to make a cooler TikTok, a cooler this, a cooler that. And I'm giving, you know, I'm paying more in taxes, whatever, but we're going to fight these people together because Larry Ellison, Barry Weiss, Benjamin Netanyahu, Donald Trump. These are the worst, the worst people among us that stand up for the worst people. Yeah. And they think we're stupid, like that we don't see how shitty. they are. It's like, hey, I know you have an inferiority complex and you think if you run CBS

or if you buy CBS News or if you're the president of the United States, nobody will know. Hate to tell you. Kat's fucking out of the back. Everybody, you're a fucking loser and always has. I did read that TikTok was like, and I don't know how it were 150 percent. Yes, I saw that. Pulling out, not using the app, deleting the app. Maybe that was the term. But I'm like, good. But, you know, here's. the thing. I remember when TikTok was suspended for like four hours. And I mean, I thought my daughter and her friends were going to just, it was like the end of the world as they knew it. I don't know enough about TikTok to enjoy it or have fun with it. So I don't understand why you couldn't just do that

on another platform. But the younger generation is very tied to TikTok. But I'm with you, let's get it started. And I guess here's the thing that drives me crazy. And I just, I love to brag, Seth. So I'm just going to take a moment. In terms of the hubris of these people that I can do it, Cash Patel, I'm a podcaster. Of course, the FBI. Pete Hexeth was a reserve in the National Guard. He is running the Department of Defense, and it has been nothing but shameful. He has demoted people.

He has stripped names of boats because he is such a pathetic asshole. that he feels so threatened by people that have really served and done things for this country, that he feels like he has to strip it, like Harvey Milk, Ruth Bader Ginsburg. He is the absolute worst of the, I'm so cool, I was on Fox News. So naturally, I'll kill people in Venezuela,

you know, on boats in the Caribbean. Like, it just, I don't understand. I really do not understand the people, that I grew up with in their home, my parents, pro-military, back the blue, how they can, it is crap the bed city. Pete Hexseth is so incompetent. He is so unqualified. It just, I do not know how you support that if you say you're pro-military. He has made a travesty of all this. He is the worst of the worst hires. And then he talks about DEI. It makes me want to scream to the top of my lungs. And I just want to say this. You've heard all this shit about him. I just read an article

about him if you can't tell. He does all this shit. He has three baby mamas. He's married to one wife and he knocks up now the current wife and he's got just a horde of children homeschools naturally. Of course. He has the signal group chats where he does war plans. He includes his fucking wife, which tells me she doesn't express him. to make, of course she does. She has to be on there. And then you know what I just noticed? First of all, I was on Katie Miller's disgusting, ridiculous podcast,

and they're draped all over each other, like they're not each other's like third spouse. You know, like, come on. His picture, his official picture on his bio on social media, has her like in the background. I'm like, that screams. I fuck around and my wife doesn't trust me more than anything I've ever seen. We have to have her wife on there because she has to monitor the text.

We have to have a picture. of our wife. And then when we sit by each other, even though we're old as fuck and been married to other a gazillion times, we have to have our arms all over each other in a podcast. He enrages me. Well, I mean, in a normal world, all of this would be considered a national security threat. But in the Trump world, to your point about how can your parents think that he cares about the military is that would require critical thinking to critique his intellect? All he has to do for the Trump people like your family members is tap dance on Fox News and go, I love America and I hate liberals and I hate immigrants and you know what? I don't think our black vets

deserve any recognition because I think the white vets are getting sidelines so that I can prop up black vets. And Fox News just goes, this man, you know, I'll tell you what, honey, he loves America. It's this simpleton, dumbed down, no critical thinking. target the, you know, tribal impulses of the worst traits of humanity. And this shit just rains in middle America. And the cancer pumps and all of that is, I think Fox News has radicalized and radicalized and radicalized people like your parents that should be retired enjoying their retirement. And you tell me story after story about going over there.

and all they do is binge watch, binge watch, free base, Fox News. And what a miserable existence. A lady wrote a book about this. I think it was during the George W. Bush era, maybe the Obama era, about Fox News and how devastating it was to the boomer generation,

how angry they were, and the polling sense Fox News, they think they're about to fall prey to crime. They think that there's a bunch of people running around that hate America, which here's the thing. This was the generation that was like, I will die for your right to believe, say, feel anything you want

because that is the promise of America. And they've been so radicalized that now they want to be the thought police. They want to control everybody's thoughts. And here's what's just the biggest red flag of all. And it's like our friends, the good liars and some of these other people that go into the death star and interview these MAGA people. What do you love about Trump? And I've heard it multiple times and I go, I just love the way he, Mr. Trump loves America.

I mean, he hugged that American flag. You know, it's the dry hopping the flag. That's it. That's it because Fox News serves up that criticism means you're not patriotic. And then, you know, and then all these fucking dick wads are all over Facebook. I haven't been on it a long time. I remember when I was all these fucking schmohawks that I went to high school. with we're all like, hey, Patriot.

Yeah. You know, it's all this fucking juiced up, low tea, you know, gyrating, one pump, chump energy. And you know, you know, you know, all the ladies know, you can take one look at Pete Heggseth. You instantly know. One, he's soft served for number one. Okay, ladies, with Valentine's Day around the corner, a lot of special moments start in the kitchen.

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Xclad.com slash had it support our show and check them out at hexclad.com forward slash had it. Make sure to let them know that we sent you bon appetit. Let's cook with hex clads revolutionary cookware. This episode of I've Had It is sponsored by BetterHelp. All right listener, new year, new you, all of that. I think that's too much and too unrealistic. And I have a therapist through Better Help. And what we talk about is maybe a new year, a less burdened you. I would like to be less burdened. I would like to be able to manage my problems a little bit more effortlessly. I want better coping skills. And I'm able to talk this through on my own terms and my own private place with my therapist from BetterHelp. With over 30,000 therapists, Better

Help is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms, having served over five million people globally and it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of five for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews so listener better help makes it easy to get matched online with a qualified therapist sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash had it that's better help H-E-L-P-D-com slash had it. Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie, H-B-I-C, B-F-E-F-B-E-E-R.

Let's get, there's our Beaver. Let's get, let's check him with the National Lesbians Association. I'm the head one. The head lesbian. The head left, did. Would you please weigh in on how the lesies feel about Barry Weiss? Oh, she sucks. I mean, when you're fighting for your place in the world as a group,

and then one, like that gets the national spotlight. Right. It's just the worst thing that could happen. Yeah. That little bitch, that little evil twat, I bet she has done zero coverage empathetically about Renee Good. I saw that she just had this big meeting where she was like, if y'all don't like it here,

then you just need to quit your jobs to like seasoned real-time journalists. this fucking demons what? Did it escape her notice that one of the thing the Wright was doing was demonizing her because she was a lesbian? I mean, I heard that from Jump. Well, you know she was a lesbian. Like that made a difference that she was murdered. And so it's just unbelievable.

Here's the deal. Barry Wise has internalized homophobia. She hates herself because she's a lesbian. And so she wants to join the lesbian haters. And she thinks somehow that's going to fix her. And that she's just like Clarence Thomas, the black Supreme Court justice. He hates that he's black. He marries this crazy-ass white lady, Jenny Thomas, who was the January 6th ringleader.

Like, that's not a conflict of interest. Like the Republicans would even allow that for a second of some Democratic injustice. You know, it just shows how we play two different games all the time. Wasn't she in a cult before MAGA? Yeah. She was in a cult before. Or MAGA. This is her second cult. This is her second cold.

Can't make this shit out. And her, his best friend, the African American black Supreme Court's justice, Clarence Thomas's best friend and the guy that pays him a shit ton of money all the time. Harlan Crow collects Nazi China, Nazi dishware. And it's like, oh my God. I think some of these people that like live on the coasts, they need to come live in Oklahoma with us for a couple weeks so we can really take them around some of this real hardcore maga culture so they can grasp how serious these people are about this.

No, I agree because I just don't think unless you've been around it, you get it. And here's the thing for Clarence Thomas, for Barry Weiss and pumps can attested this more than I can. How many times growing up would you hear there'd be a black person in the room? And then the black person would leave. You know, I think he's really well spoken for a black man. Right. Or isn't he a really attractive, nicely pulled together black man?

You know, for a black lady, she's this, well, you know, I couldn't really tell he was gay. Well, Kylie sure is pretty. Could you tell that she was a lesbian? Yeah. They try to diminish the person's blackness or diminish the person's gayness. And so then this marginalized person diminishes themselves and then keeps going. to seek approval and a bunch of in a room full of fucking bigots and they're never going to get it. Barry, you're never going to be filled up. No. Ever. Heck Seth, you're never going to be

anything but a soft serve one pump chum. Honestly, I'm glad you're bringing back the penis shaming. I feel like it's been a wild pump. You know, really it has been because I look across the spectrum of all these people in this cabinet when they have those circle jerks and i'm like this is the smallest penis size we're talking like two inch slim penis size on these men because they are so insecure yes jennifer i have a question if you were to list in order from micro penis being the smallest to pinky finger penis uh one two and three starting with no start with pinky okay so that's the big in the cabinet we're out in the cabinet knowing that the largest one is still the size of a pinky on a toddler okay so we're

going to my right pinkie on a toddler yeah got three two one uh three two one we got pinky on a toddler pencil dick and micropine three two one okay you guys hang on we need this I can't keep talking about all the fuckery all the time. We need some community and just making fun of these fucking droops. Pumns go. She shines at penile shaming. And you know, and here's the thing.

I really think about it. Like I've written it down. Okay. So for my, I would have to say that for my, the smallest of the small, I'm going to go Rubio. He's number three. No, he's the smallest of the smallest of the small. Over Stephen Miller? Oh, cabinet.

I wasn't counting Stephen Miller in the cabinet. Okay, re-scratch. Stephen Miller is probably inverted. He probably has it look like a vagina because it's so in his. And I've had an inverted nipple one time, so I know that's true. You can do that. Pete Hex is the ultra slim. He's the pencil.

Penciled. So tiny. Just really thin. No girth. You can make a condom? fit something that small no you know how like every guy wants to buy a magm magnum when it's extra large and it's like bitch you don't need that he goes to the extra small store and extra thin extra we know he didn't wear them

because he's knocked up everybody's had sex with so many kids so many fucking kids okay um stephen miller inverted marco rubio's pinky um pencil pete heck seth i'm gonna this is probably gonna surprise if you you people. I think that this is kind of a dark horse. Howard Lutnik. He is trying to be teeny weeny. Oh, for sure. Too slick. He can't see it when he looks down. He's just he's trying, he's so slick. He's trying to be slick. Yeah. So that's my look. Obviously. What about little smoky, J.D. Vance? Here's my thing with him. Okay, just from just from the view. I think it's probably a fine size.

It's a sport cock or something. No, not a sport cock, but not, not embarrassing either way. It's the way he uses it. Okay. It's bad. Like he doesn't know how to use it. He thinks that if he gets off in less than a minute, cheers. Like great.

He doesn't strike me as like, Usha, you know, was that fun for you? Did you have no, no, no, no. He doesn't care. That never comes into it. I suspect he likes to watch himself jack off. more than he likes sex with women. These are just observation. All right.

What else are we missing in the cabinet? Kylie, Google a picture of Trump's cabinet. We've got that. Oh, my God. Yeah, the evil demon queen Bessent. And then also RFK Jr., which I think that's raisin, a raisin. Yeah. And he's Viagra age-ish.

So, and you can tell he's taken like some steroids with which I think causes shrinkage. I know that's true. How do you know that's true? Well, I dated somebody that took steroids and I could tell. Yeah. Back in the day. Well, I mean, it's welcome to tell all without on I've had a podcast. Pumps has had an inverted nipple and a. Oh my god, you know how I forgot. Duffy. Oh, is he tall Duffy? He looked tall and he looked tall and and like lanky in that new.

See, those are always dark. Tall skinny people. Sometimes it's always a surprise. Yeah. Yeah. So that's cabinet 101 with ANG, penis size cabinet. I mean, you really good. That's really, you know what?

I would like to officially change my grievance where I started that I've had it with podcasts. I will hit podcast because I think this is the type of content that we need. Kylie, do you have any? anything to weigh in. I won't start, I guess it would be wholly inappropriate to talk about vagina size and lesbians. I don't think. Yeah. Yeah, I think it doesn't hit the same. No. Well, and I just don't think men are so tied to their, like their personality is totally. Totally. Totally. It really is. And I just think men really think about their dicks. And I think a lot of

the men in Trump's cabinets particularly think about penis a lot. It's just an observation of mine. I do. I think that there's a lot of, I think Maga men in general think about penises a lot. I think there's just a lot of penile thinking thoughts that go on from time to time all the time. Thinking about each other's penises? We all know Donald Trump has a small penis because Stormy Daniels told us. And she showed us like a comparison. Yes, she showed a little musher. Yeah. She said he was a two pump jump too. All right, Kylie.

What? Don't you have some stories for us to go over? I do. We have some stuff going on that we need to talk about from the last week and this week. Okay. So Melania debuted her documentary. I'm sure that's a banger. Uh-huh.

So far, it's a huge fucking flop. Uh, surprised to no one here. And I've got this article. from The Daily Beast. It says, a shamed Malani a crew members hope

documentary flops. So a lot of her crew has been speaking out and it says several crew members who worked on the first lady's Amazon MGM Doc don't want their names

associated with it. Rolling Stone reports two thirds of her New York crew requested that their names not be added to the film critics. Another source yeah, another source said that they wished they had had

the foresight to remove their name from the film. Another told the publication they're hoping the film, which required really long hours in a highly disorganized and very chaotic environment, flops. Quote, unfortunately, if it does flop, I would feel really great about it. Well, and people that work on any movie, any, it's a lot of work. I mean, it is a lot of work. So they're ashamed to put their name on it. Here's the thing. Did you all see on social media that like there's one ticket that's been sold in like London or something? Oh, where it is?

One ticket was sold at Hoyt's in Australia, which is like an AMC company in America. And I've also got reports that Melania documentary is seeing single figure ticket sales across UK cinemas. And users online, everyone flooded to their own. local theater online to see what the ticket, you know, how many seats were open. Oh, yeah. This is just one of like a hundred tweets. So Donald J. Trump tweets, Melani, the movie is a must watch. Get your tickets today. They're selling out fast. And everyone's responding with not one seat filled in at their local theater. I'll tell you what, Melania, sis, if you ever want to really make a banger, I'll tell you what you do. It's you. One.

camera, one light, one chair, a microphone. And you put that thing up to your lips and you start singing like a goddamn bird. You sing for this country. You sing for all the times you had to fuck that man and you got all that orange shit all over your face. You sing and you sing for freedom, sing for everything. And that bitch would sell out. This isn't cutting it. Nobody's buying to this. Number one, you're not that interesting. That's what I mean you speak seven languages. I've never even heard it ever. These people, the Trumps, are so pathetic. It's like they're so white trash.

I like so breathtakingly white trash. Like all the country club Republicans that are all like being sophisticated. Trump's so garish and she's such a performative, you know, thirst trapper with this documentary. And then let's just talk about who paid for this. I was just going to say. Jeff Bezos, Lauren Sanchez. Like at some point when they first got together, Jeff Bezos and Lauren, he had an affair, that pecker from National Enquirer, he like got the story and all this.

Now listen, a lot of people have affairs, whatever. I don't like it, but I'm sure McKenzie's like taking swing for the fences. I've got $100 billion or however much she's got, right? So I don't really fall. like so many people we know have had affairs. I don't think that's a huge like, you know, I don't like it, but it doesn't mean he's a piece of shit. And when he was first dating Lauren, they were all about the environment.

Like I would see these posts on Instagram and it was like the Bezos Environment Fund and she was like in the jungle and she was doing all this stuff like the Bezos Earth Initiative and they were spending all this money to help like combat climate change. A noble cause. It's a big fucking problem. The climate change stuff, right? And then, like everybody we know, whether it's a billionaire, Jeff and Lauren, or the people you know personally, once you start succumbing and capitulating this shit, you just become the worst version of yourself. Now Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez Bezos look ridiculous. Radic. Act just like Melania does. They don't know how to read the room. I don't know what sort of philanthropy or any type of anything they have going on other than just thirst track. Just pure, unadulterated, we're rich as fuck,

you're poor as fuck, watch Lauren shake her big titties and everybody looks like themselves. I mean, that's just the vibe I get with it. You know, her tits are always up and Adam and- Yeah, wouldn't it the inauguration that it was just like... He looks like he's one breath away from motorboating, you know? It's just, just motorboat. Just do it in public.

We all know you're dying too. You know, you don't have to... You hang out, Donald Trump's your best friend. just go ahead and motorboat Lauren in public. You don't have to pretend like you have to have manners or polite or decorum anymore. Donald Trump's president. Motorboat Lauren. Nobody gives a fuck anymore.

You're about to fire all of your employees and replace them with robots and help Trump's eyes kill Americans. Just go ahead and motorboat Lauren. At least we go, yeah. Now we get it. Now we know why you like her, you short-balled fuck. Yeah, we know what his did. looks like because it looks exactly like him. Real shiny.

Mm-hmm. Okay, so I actually read some unconfirmed reports that Melania, she debuted her documentary with, you know, a handful of billionaires, Tim Cook, everybody's there. It was the same. It's ridiculous. And correct me if I'm wrong, but it was like the same night or the same day as Alex Pretti was murdered, I believe.

And I've heard that she's upset. and blaming that for like the failure of her premiere. And so she goes on Fox the next day, and she puts this interview out. And I think it's to try to, Jen, we were talking about it, to try to get rid of this ice heat and bring it back to her documentary.

I read some reporting that she was furious with Donald that this ice was hijacking the news cycle. And so of course, she runs to her safe place, Fox, and I sent Kylie this earlier, Pumps get a load of this. And they're working together to make it peaceful and without riots. I'm against the violence, so if please, if you protest,

protest in peace. You know, I try to have empathy for her. I really do. She has to fuck him. That sucks. She's a monster. Yes! She's a fucking monster. Yeah.

And it's like, shut up. And here's the thing. The only interesting thing about a documentary about her is how she and Jeffrey Epstein, according to one person familiar with the times, she was his girlfriend first. Like, that's what I want. And there's nothing interesting about her. I cannot believe that she was, I did not know that. I did not know she was throwing a hissy fit and she ran on Fox News.

Boy. Well, and then how dare she? stand there and say if you're going to protest do it peacefully and I want to go bitch it is your husband's Gestapo that is out there pushing women down doing all this hyped up super masculine bullshit that is created in this culture that I guess you raised your son in since he is a huge fan of Andrew Tate and maybe instead of you getting on here lecturing people about people peaceful protests and you don't like violence.

Maybe the calls coming from inside the house. Your husband's is an adjudicated rapist. This is his Gestapo. He said he wanted generals like Hitler's generals. I mean, this is just going to go from bad to worse. You always be a pariah. You know how your documentary would sell well? Be a fucking compassionate person that gives a shit and stands up for marginalized people, Melania.

Right. Oh, I forget. Y'all don't know how to do that because you're both fucking. monsters and that's why you found each other just like Katie an inverted peen micropine vizine stephen miller yeah micropine virgin yeah you know it just yeah yeah i mean it's just you just don't think they can go any lower and they always do they always do like michelle obama had no idea that you go love they got you have no idea how low it can go like honestly i can say i I never thought it would go this low.

I just, it's horrible. You did. You always have. When we were covering the campaign, I knew it was going to be concentration camps, grabbing innocent people, violence towards civilians. I mean, this is, I believe in the depravity of people, and I also believe in the goodness of people. But living in Oklahoma for so many decades and seeing firsthand the lack of empathy that the

most religious people I know had and knowing that that is the bulk of this man's support, it just doesn't surprise me that they're killing people like this and that the Christians are like, not the good Christians, not you know the listeners, y'all know who I'm talking about, the mega-churchers, the Erica Kirk are Christians. They don't give a shit about this kind of stuff. They don't, they didn't care that Charlie Kirk died. I mean, nobody even talks about that anymore. You know, it's just Griffey City. Yeah. All right, listener, I want to take a moment here to talk to you about our sponsor, MSI reproductive choices.

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Okay. So in this article, it spells it out. Ushah Vance, Katie Miller, and Caroline Lovett. They all announced their pregnancy. And right here it says 21 days. Usha announced 21 days after Katie Miller. And then Katie Miller announced 25 days after Caroline Levitt. So it's all within this really short period of time.

People have been doing the math on Usha Vance's timing. And they said if you do the 40 week math from the baby Vance due date. Okay. It's revealed a startling discovery and they've got a photo of the time that Erica Kirk and J.D. Vance on October 29. we're seeing hugging and embracing on stage. Okay, couple theories. Number one, IVF across the board is it, I mean, it seems so synced up. And this is all this, there are all these, we need to breed, we need to have you.

People need to have more kids. People need to get married. And you can see like Katie Miller and her, you know, like how to be a homemaking Nazi podcast. Like, I have a great idea. Let's all get knocked up at the same time. and we'll bring youth and vibrancy and show all of these feminist and woke warriors that you know we are just mothers and all this fucking nauseating bullshit all work all time okay let me ask

you this just going like you know maga podcasters have conspiracy theories all the time who's the father if it's IVF is i saw katie flirted up with elon musk on the podcast Elon Musk loves to jizz in a petri dish. Yeah, he likes it. You think all three babies? Well, here's the thing on the IV up, like Caroline Levitt's has been, is like 30 years older than her. Like he's, it is 60s, like late 60s.

So there's no question there that we have older sperm that we have to upgrade, I would think. Well, but you know, Viagra, you know, they're able to skirt the system. Yeah, but I mean, I think that's, that's possible. You have, I mean, look, you know, how old was Trump when he had Barron? I think he was already like 80 or something, right? Yeah, that's your man. Just kidding. But I don't know.

I just think, I think that whole thing is just creepy. It's weird. It's giving in May, pill. It isn't. I think that's what they want. On Fox News, on Fox and Trends, they were talking about this. They were so excited about these three pregnancies. And they literally say out loud, like, do you think this is the beginning of young people

wanting to bring back the families and the push of J.D. Vance, wanting to have the traditional family back. Like, that's the goal, in my opinion. Yeah, that's what they're selling. This is going to backfire spectacularly because just hearing Katie Miller, Ushavans, Caroline Levitt, I immediately break out into Kegels. Okay. And so 100%. Seeing people like this breed is an advertisement for not breeding. They are like the poster board for do not breed, support plan parenthood, invest in birth control, wrap it before you tap it, do not open up those highways ladies. I mean, there is Kegel the whole time.

There is no fucking way this is going to want to make people breed. I promise you that nobody is going to want to breed because these are the most unlikable people in Magalie. like Katie Miller is so unlikable. Her husband as we as pumps really nailed, I have to say, has an inverted vagina as a cock. He does. So that's a petri dish for sure. Yeah.

Caroline Levitt. There's nothing like the whole like there's nothing virtuous or enviable about somebody who's just a sociopathic liar. Yeah. You know? Do you think I guess they wake up every day and I think we're fucking nailing it. We are crushing life. They have to like sometimes I get so mired down and you always get mad at me but I get so mired down like does Caroline Lovett believe that shit?

Yeah. She knows like it's just like I can't wrap my head around it sometime. Well Ruth our professor friend, she told me they start believing their own propaganda that people inside the cult believe their own propaganda. That's a that's a that's a a part of it. And so they believe the propaganda. They just lie so much that it just becomes, you know, automatic. It's the truth.

Okay. The internet had some fun. Shout out to our friends at the Betches. So Sammy Sage tweet, Vance's fourth child baby names go. And I've got a couple of the replies here. Love her. Sophie writes of Donald, as in the Handmaid's Tale style. Betches themselves respond, Charlie Kirk Vance and Erica Kirk Vance, Jr.

Shepard says, surprise, it's twin boys named Crate and Barrel. And William in the same vein says West Elm Vance. My favorite is Charlie Curf. That wouldn't shock me. I would not be stunned if one of these kids wasn't Charlie Vance. Charlie Kurt Vance. Like, oh, if one of has a boy, somebody's going to name after. Charlie, 100%.

Yes. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Their best friend, Charlie, that they do zero about preventing gun prevention. Mahala or what is it? Mahala. Cash.

I'm surprised. Brow beating him. I am shocked as shit that he, you know why? Because his girlfriend is the smartest of the batch. 100%. She's riding her PJ. Yep. She's riding on the PJ.

She's getting. she's getting Cash Patel's FBI agents to drive her and are all liquored up girlfriends all over the United States of America. The minute he loses his job, she's moving on because she does not, I bet he would love to cement the deal. I bet he would love. I agree with that. Yes, he'd be dying. And she's young too. I mean, like she, here's the deal. And I know I've said it, but I think it's worth saying again. There is no world in which Cash Patel is dating her with. out a private plane. It just doesn't exist. No.

There's no world that Cash Patel would ever be the head of the FBI except we're living in unprecedented times. And Kylie, what's the drag queen that came? Which one, Monet? Monet Exchange. Monet Exchange.

I said, what have you had it with? And Monet Exchange says, I've had it with living in unprecedented times. I wish we were were living in precedented times and I thought that is so fucking spot on I think about that all the time mona exchange we love you shout out to you she's the best the best all right well I think I think that's I think we did okay here's the deal listener we had to take a break interviewing politicians covering depressing news I hope you all laughed and I just think Kylie where's she going it's like she doesn't want her face to be associated with our faces

I just want you guys to have your moment. You're the start. Okay. All right. Bye, Kylie. We love you. Everybody say bye, Kylie. But anyway, here's the deal.

We want to do some more episodes where people can laugh. So will you guys send us some voice memos? We're going to record a lot of episodes next week for I've had it. And what you do is you go to your Instagram and then you go to at I've had it. And then you send a DM to Kylie in the voice memo. And let's try to make them. You know, really funny. I think the nation needs to laugh because for me personally and pumps and I talk about this all the time, scrolling the news going, you know, seeing something so devastating and the terrorizing and the abuse that ICE is doing towards marginalized communities, it's hard to just sit in it all the time and make sure you're amplifying on your social media, the causes that you care about and the stories you want to amplify, but also practice some self-care.

still allowed to have community and laugh and relentlessly make fun of these inverted vizines. Right. We'll see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up, Patriots, Gaytriots, and Natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.

We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe, and reviews so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. What does an eagle say? Caca! A little bit more enthusiasm. Caca!

That's it. That's, that's, that's, caca! That's the patriotism that this country means right there.