I've Had It - Sound the Sirens

Episode Date: November 5, 2024

RaeShanda Lias is here to read you to filth if you do not vote today.If you want to vote and are unsure where to go, visit https://iwillvote.com to make a voting plan.PRE-ORDER OUR NEW BOOK and find l...ive tour dates + more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcastThank you to our sponsors:LolaVie: Get 15% off LolaVie with the code Hadit15 at https://www.lolavie.com/Hadit15 #lolaviepodRoBody: Go to https://ro.co/HADIT | Memberships start at just $99 for your first month. Medication costs are separate. Uncommon Goods: To get 15% off your next gift, go to https://UNCOMMONGOODS.com/HADIT. Don’t miss out on this limited-time offer! Uncommon Goods. We’re all out of the ordinary. ZocDoc: Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to https://Zocdoc.com/IVEHADIT to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @IvehaditpodcastJennifer Welch: @mizzwelchAngie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumpsSpecial guests: RaeShanda Lias @shopaif

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 So we're supposed to start the podcast. One, two, three. There she is. The best clapper in podcasting. So good. Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, so I've had it with electronic coupons. Did you even know those existed?
Starting point is 00:00:21 Yeah, I did. I had no idea. So here's what happened. I go up to the CVS by me. I have on no makeup, my hair's in a ponytail, glasses in my pajamas, no bra. I'm going to run in, take two seconds, do the self checkout, boom, in and out. So this woman in front of me at the self checkout, she's going through all her coupons with somebody that works for the store.
Starting point is 00:00:44 And in my head, I am screaming and like banging my head against the wall. I'm like, I fucking hate everybody. Hate that person explaining it. I hate this person for asking, but I'm just like, act like a normal human. Just for one minute, you can sit here and act normal. So then the person still dealing with her coupons, the lady says, do you want me to check you out? I said, yeah, that'd be great.
Starting point is 00:01:06 So she checks me out. She asked me for my birthday, which I don't have a club card, but I gave it to her and she looked at me and she goes, oh my gosh, I would never have believed you're in your 50s. So you can imagine the turn. I mean, I basically like put her in my lap and started talking to her. We were best friends by the time we left.
Starting point is 00:01:28 I was so happy. I never thought my emotions could change so fast that she told me she thought there's no way I could be in my 50s. I mean, thanks for looking up. I mean. For America's oldest podcast. Yes.
Starting point is 00:01:41 I mean, thanks for really, really looking up. If we could just get you laid. I mean, you might be a complete person. Close. Probably not all the way. Well, that's great news from. So do you still hate? Yeah, I still hate electric coupons because there was a lot of yak about this one's 20%. This is 10%. But you come on in this day, it's and I was like, nobody fucking cares. It's self checkout. We shouldn't have all these questions at self-checkout. But thank goodness I just I sat there and I kept telling myself act like a normal person. Don't be a freak. Act like a normal person. And then I got like the biggest compliment of the entire decade. See that's what happens. When you're nice. Yeah. Good
Starting point is 00:02:18 things happen when you're nice. Yeah. Yeah exactly. All right let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay. People that forego deodorant. What? Yeah. Have you not ever smelled people that... I just thought they needed more, or they were extra sweaty. People just don't wear it as a matter of course? I'm just assuming,
Starting point is 00:02:36 because some people that you pass, or that you are around when you're at an exercise class, stink so bad, I assume that they have to have foregone deodorant. Oh, that's repulsive. I just always assume they needed more. So it's, ugh, that's gross.
Starting point is 00:02:55 I think it's a whole like crunchy thing where people are like, I don't wanna put the chemicals that are in the deodorant on my armpit because then it absorbs in the body. And then you've got this smelly person that gets completely nose blind. They have no idea that they stink to high heaven. And it's just, for example, I used to take this exercise class and one of the instructors of the class for sure didn't wear deodorant
Starting point is 00:03:27 because there's no way there was just a little bit on. And it was so bad that when he walked by, I thought, okay, and I'm not a like huge gag reflex type person, but I definitely had the gag reflex. And I quit signing up for the class on the days that he taught because I couldn't stomach the smell. I would absolutely think that was a rational thing to do. So the teacher didn't have on deodorant. And it happened more than once. Multiple times. And we would talk about it. I would be in the waiting room before we're in the class. It was like, I hope he's wearing
Starting point is 00:04:06 deodorant today. And the other class members would say, yeah, no, that's rough. And I was like, what's the deal? Why would you not wear deodorant? Well, it's like, it's a crunchy anti-chemical, you know, along the same lines of veganism. Vegans don't go bananas in the comment section, okay? Right. But yeah, anti-deodorant people,
Starting point is 00:04:28 don't go bananas in the comment section. I don't want to hear about carcinogens. I don't want to hear it. Let me have it. I'm tired, people, stinking. Here's the deal, though. It's inconsiderate. It's selfish.
Starting point is 00:04:40 It's something that other people... If we're all getting cancer so that nobody has to smell our BO, then you're fucking getting cancer too. Well, that's what I was going to say. I mean, everybody acts like if they don't put chemicals in their body, they only eat certain foods. If they do all this, they're going to live forever.
Starting point is 00:04:54 I mean, like, everybody lives to be about the same. It's not like they're like, oh, no deodorant. You live 50 years longer and you look great. You don't even look like you're in your 50s. That's my secret. No deodorant. No, I mean, that's gross. I think if it affects other people, like you can't do it, especially a teacher. And there's a couple of other people I know that forego deodorant. I'm not going to get into the specifics, but it is so horrible. Have you not ever been on an airplane
Starting point is 00:05:25 where somebody walks by down the aisle? Oh, yeah. And you just, it is like stinky city. And you just think to yourself, not only do we need referees at the TSA clearance platform, we also need people sniffing people as they walk into airports. And you don't have to sniff that hard on a lot of people. Maybe just those dogs, people sniffing people as they walk into airports. And you don't have to sniff that hard a lot.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Maybe just those dogs, drug sniffing dogs, also dog, BO sniffing dogs. And they could sniff out the BO on a potential traveler and say, sorry, you don't smell good enough. You need to go back home and freshen up and put on some deodorant before you get in that bird and it's up 30,000 feet in the air and you're making everybody's gag reflex go bananas. That's what I think. Have you noticed that on early morning flights, people have a grado or odor sometimes?
Starting point is 00:06:14 A what? Like a grado odor. What's a grado? Just like kind of dirty, like a sleep smell. I've noticed on the early flights we've taken, I get more of an odor. It's not like B.O. it's just like, maybe they didn't brush their teeth very good
Starting point is 00:06:29 or they slept in their clothes kind of thing. I just noticed it on early, early morning flights. There's just a little bit more of a stench. I haven't noticed that, but I wanna know dive more into this graudoo. Just like graudoo. What is graudoo? Kelly, can you hit the Google?
Starting point is 00:06:44 Graudoo, I've always said it's like toe jam. What is grado? Kelly, can you hit the Google? Grado, I've always said it. It's like toe jam or Femunda cheese. What's grado? Miscellaneous, cruft or garbage. Colorful Southern term for schmutz. So it's kind of there. She's teaching us colorful Southern slang. Yeah, grado, gross.
Starting point is 00:07:03 We always like, what gets underneath your toenails, that kind of stuff. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She's teaching us about grado here on today's episode. All right, listen up, listener. It is November 5th. And if you have not voted yet, make sure you go and vote and vote for the most marginalized people in our communities.
Starting point is 00:07:29 Vote for women. Vote to end gun violence. Vote for your friends that are members of the LGBTQ plus community. Vote for a competent woman. Vote for Kamala Harris. Please, for the love of God, go vote. Take your friends, text everybody. I hope the next time we're chatting, we're in great spirits because this is it. This is what we've been building up for.
Starting point is 00:07:59 Yeah. All right. In that regard, I want to share some news from the news today. And I want to point out for the permanent record and for the listener that rat birth control is soon going to roll out in New York City. Okay. So what I think about this is we are addressing birth control of rats. Donald Trump and Project 2025 are trying to take away our birth control in the Supreme Court, but the rats can have it. Guns already have more rights than women. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:08:44 And I guess these rats are going to have more rights than women. Yeah. I mean, that's a sad state of affairs, isn't it? Yeah. Guns and rats have more rights than women. Yeah. It's just unbelievable. Kathy, do you have, we're still trying to get 11,000 reviews. We're not there yet. Slowly, slowly growing. But I'll read you a few of the new ones. This is five stars titled The Best Podcast and she writes, as the head of the Childless Cat Lady club in my family of right-wingers, I finally feel publicly represented. Thank you for your show. Women with intelligence and humor? Who could believe it? Most of all, we can't. and humor who could believe it. Most of all we can't.
Starting point is 00:09:34 I love the head of the childless cat lady in the right wing family. Been there done that girl. Yeah it's a tough spot. All right what's next Kathy? All right we got five stars titled I've Had It and Steph writes I started listening to this podcast because I saw these two lovely women on TikTok. I started listening at 2x speed from the very first episode. I listen when I mow the grass, grocery shop, drive, work out, and even in conversation with my children and husband. But I've had it. I only have eight episodes left. And then all caps. What am I going to do when I have to be a see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both type of listener and not an every single hour of the day type of listener?
Starting point is 00:10:09 Well, listen, I have a solution for you. As a lot of other listeners know, we have a daily podcast called IHIP News and it rolls out every single day where Pumps and I, we come to the recording studio every morning at eight and we record about 15 to 20 minutes of what's going on in the news. Kylie and Seth edit it up and post it by 11, 12 Central. So you can get little daily doses of political red meat injected into your veins every single day. And Patreon.
Starting point is 00:10:45 That's another thing you can do. You can join, sign up to our Patreon, take it to the next level where we've started a cult. Yep, we've started a cult. FYI, don't vote for MagaCult today at the election. This is the only cult you can be in. And also, if you really wanted to be ambitious, November 16th, we have a live show in New York. That's right. The New York Comedy Festival.
Starting point is 00:11:09 And most importantly, it's a matinee. Didn't get any better than a matinee. All right, today we have a fantastic guest. I'm like so excited. We are obsessed with her, and I think probably a lot of you all are too. She is a social media sensation, and her name is
Starting point is 00:11:26 Rashonda Leis Lockhart. She is a serial entrepreneur and content creator and before we have her on, before we introduce Rashonda, I want Kylie to play a clip so everybody can be attuned as to what they're in store for. Play the clip. Hello and welcome back. A lot of you all have said, Roshonda, you're not a defibrillator, but you stay saving lives. And to that I say, thank you. Today we're here to discuss something that has a lot of you all confused, but I'm here to help. It's really very simple. Let's check the board. This is you. This is your car. This is your home. This is your pet.
Starting point is 00:12:06 Okay. These are the things that you own Dennis. Okay. This is a woman. You do not own women. Women are not property and you cannot control our bodies. If she wants to take her jumbo slip and slide to Reginald's house and let him ride.
Starting point is 00:12:22 That's her business. Okay. If six weeks later she needs to go somewhere to let him ride. That's her business. Okay, if six weeks later she needs to go somewhere to get something done. That's her business. She don't want Reginald's big-headed baby. That's her business. Do you understand? And then you want to bring Sky Daddy's son, Jesus Devante Christ into this. I don't care what you believe. Okay, this is not your business. If you believe that there's a heaven, then you should know on Judgment Day, everybody will be accountable
Starting point is 00:12:50 for their own doing. Jesus is not going to ask you about me. Okay, I need you all to understand that mind your own business. My doctor should not have to decide between their livelihood and saving my life. They're human. They're going to choose their livelihood. And then I will go see JC. Okay. You all need to get it together. The stuff's getting weird. Thanks. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid.
Starting point is 00:13:24 In fact, we used to be rather screwed up, wouldn't you say, Pumps? I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwich sandwiches. In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. All right, Pumps, I have to tell you about Uncommon Goods. You know, I'm always on that
Starting point is 00:14:08 hunt for that unique gift that I give to somebody and they're like, wow, that was an amazing gift. A gift that sparks joy in the receiver. Uncommon Goods is the one-stop shop for all of your gifting needs. I got a darling custom dog sweat shirt. Oh, I'm so jealous. I love Uncommon Goods because no matter who you're buying for, they have the perfect gift and their candles are incredible. Listener, Uncommon Goods looks for products that are high quality, unique, and often handmade or made in the U.S. They have the most meaningful out of the ordinary gifts anywhere. They even have gifts you can personalize. And with every purchase you make at Uncommon Goods, they
Starting point is 00:14:49 get back $1 to a nonprofit partner of your choice. They've donated more than $3 million to date. To get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com slash had it. That's uncommon goods.com slash had it for 15% off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer. Uncommon goods were all out of the ordinary. Pumps, I know that you're frequently making doctor's appointments for yourself and for your children. Your son recently had the flu. How are you able to get in to see the specialist that you need to see so quickly? It's real simple. ZocDoc. ZocDoc
Starting point is 00:15:32 makes getting a doctor's appointment so easy, especially in different cities like my kids are because it shows which doctor to go to, whether they take your insurance, and it's convenient. And normally I can get an appointment within the first 24 hours. Listeners, ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors, choose the right one for your needs, and click to instantly book an appointment. We're talking about in-network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty, from mental health to dental health, eye care to skin care, and much more.
Starting point is 00:16:12 Plus, ZocDoc appointments happen fast. Typically, within just 24 to 72 hours of booking, you can even score same-day appointments. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com slash I've had it to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's z-o-c-d-o-c dot com slash I've had it. Zocdoc.com slash I've had it. Let's welcome to I've Had It my number one internet obsession, my queen, Rashonda. How are you Rashonda? Hi, I'm so excited to be here. We got to talk about what we've had it with.
Starting point is 00:16:57 For sure. I just have to tell you, we are obsessed with your Instagram and we will just be giggling. And I send it to my daughter, I made her follow you a long time ago. And she's like, mom, why do you always send me her videos? You know I follow her. And I'm like, because it's so fucking funny. I want you to be in the moment with me.
Starting point is 00:17:14 Oh, and I get that often. I really do. And I really am just, this is just who I am. Just foolish, but also dead-ass serious. We are the exact same way. And so I think that we're going to be an amazing podcasting throuple here for the next 20 minutes or so. But Rashonda, today is election day.
Starting point is 00:17:37 And before we get in to what you've had it with, can you please read everybody out there that hasn't voted yet for us? I don't understand what the problem is. Like I really don't. I need everybody to get out and vote. This is not an election to sit out on. If you are not voting, then you have nothing to complain about. It's really only two options. I don't care what everybody is telling you. You have two options. You need to really get out and vote. Right. I'm not going back to wearing no ugly ass handmaid's tail robe. I'm just, I'm not doing it. So I need everybody
Starting point is 00:18:15 to get out and vote today. I don't understand the hesitation. I don't understand the problem. It needs to be done today. Yes, and I hope that the next time we see each other, it's Madame Vice President, because I am tired. I've had it. I mean, had it with these men. And I can only imagine that as a Black woman, you are beyond exhausted with all these crusty ass white men running around acting like they are OBGYNs for God's sakes. I have had it. I cannot for the life of me understand what my uterus has to do with your business. And I tell people all the time, I don't care what you believe. I don't care if you believe that Jesus jumped rope with the Easter bunny. What does that have to do with my right?
Starting point is 00:19:07 When when you get down to it and you try to explain to people, it's none of your business. It's simply it's simple is that it's none of your business when it comes to my body and what I do and a lot of people like we're Shonda. You're not even having children anymore. I have daughters and sons. I have a niece and a nephew. All of it matters to me, whether I'm procreating or not. It matters to me.
Starting point is 00:19:33 Well, and that's none of their business too, to tell you that, you know, it's like, we can do this all day, but it's, you know, I've had some therapy and the therapist talks a lot about being codependent. And what codependency is, is meddling in things that are not your business. And I just think that this idea that a bunch of people that have never been to medical school have some interpretation of their religion, and these are also the same churches that are out there grifting the shit out of everyone all the time, trying to build bigger branches and all this stuff.
Starting point is 00:20:10 Telling doctors what they can do with women, it's just obscene, it's 2024, this is supposed to be a modern country. I keep thinking about that. And I keep thinking about, you know, just the beginning of gynecology and how black women, black slaves were worked on with no anesthesia to get to where we are now. And you still want to tell us what to do with our bodies.
Starting point is 00:20:32 It's absolutely, it's just, it's crazy. It's crazy. People are not doing research. They don't know their history and the fact that they don't understand that it's really none of your business. It really is. No, I totally agree. Let's get, let's get on to just thank you for sharing that. Listen up, motherfuckers. Get out and vote. Oprah Shonda will read you the filth on her billboard. She will go to her board. And that's it for you. Tell us what you've had it with. Oh my God. You already know. Well, at the top of my list is, again, I say this over and over again. Why are you standing as soon as the plane land? Why are you standing?
Starting point is 00:21:12 If you are at road 38, the plane is going to deboard the sign. It doesn't matter. It doesn't like you can't get out. You're going to stand there until they get to your road every time. The only time I've been on the plane, which was just recently, when somebody we were, we had to circle in the air for like 40 minutes, something totally out of, what was the name of that? Die Hard. When they had to circle the place. So I'm freaking out. I'm like, somebody's down here in DC doing something and we go on we're just circling.
Starting point is 00:21:45 But when we did land and find a gate to get to, he said, hey, some people have a connecting flight. They need to get off first. Now, I was up front, so I didn't have to. But they were letting people get off the plane before. Other than that, you're going to have to stand there, Susan, until they get to your... Like, I'm confused. Hovering over me for why? Now, to have to stand there, Susan, until they get to your, like, I'm confused hovering over me for why. Now, the tall people will say, well, I need to stand up. This flight had to be every bit of 48 minutes other than us circling for another 40 minutes.
Starting point is 00:22:23 But come on, you could have went to the bathroom and walked back and forth before now. You don't have to stand over me. and a lot of people don't practice, you know hygiene. So we were just talking about that I was just talking about before you came on my I've had it for the day or people that don't wear deodorant I just I don't understand it is a fit. And you know what we need to bring back shame. We need to bring back shame. Where did it go?
Starting point is 00:22:48 Where is the lady with the bill from Game of Thrones? Where? Bring it back. Because nobody, not only are people oversharing, sharing things that you wouldn't get out of me if I was tortured. If you were pulling my nails out, I would never get on here and say, you know, I use one pad. What does she say? I use one pad all week. Oh, that's disgusting.
Starting point is 00:23:21 I don't. I don't. I want people to stop with the TMI. That's another thing I've had with the TMI is the come on and wrap it up. Cause some stuff is just really too much. Do not get on here and say, well, you know, I just brushed my teeth with my fingers and I'm fine. Get out of my face. Get out of my face immediately. I don't understand why you would want anyone. Things I'm telling you right now, they couldn't waterboard out of me.
Starting point is 00:23:52 People will get on here freely and share and we are all left with the what? The lady that said I don't wash my hands when I'm at home. When I go to the bathroom at home. What? What? Because I'm at home. When I go to the bathroom at home. What? Because I'm at home. So, shit is different in different places. No, I agree with you. And I think it's so funny, like all the time I'm like, why would someone say that and not feel shame? Like I'm with you, shame needs to come back. I don't want to shame people for stuff they can't help. But when you do it to yourself, you should feel the humiliation of being a complete moron. You should feel that,
Starting point is 00:24:32 because then that way you don't do it again. Here's the problem, Rashonda and Pumps, here's the problem. We have become completely desensitized because we get on this podcast every fucking day and overshare it is TMI deluxe. We recently shared on a recent episode that when we go to the bathroom at home sometimes we skip the hand washing. We are guilty. We are stark raving hypocrites on this issue because on the one hand I'm with you and I
Starting point is 00:25:03 want to bring back shame but on the other hand when I get in front of this microphone I'm a fucking problem. Sound the sirens. I mean come over here take us straight to jail. Listen I am aware that there are some things well I don't first of all I don't have anything that I do at home disgustingly that I feel like. I'm not going to share that there has to be something in you that's like, now that's too far. You can share things and it still be TMI, but some people, they just they walk off the bridge. Like we're at the we're we're on the edge, right? We're looking down like, OK, I'm I'm gonna say this but I'm not jumping
Starting point is 00:25:48 Some people just jump and be like, you know, and then when people reply they're like Devastated I'm like you should not have told them that you've been cheated on four times and one time he did it with your mom Alright, let me ask you this. Let me ask you guys this. Would you rather you're at a restaurant and somebody comes up to your table you haven't seen in two years and they just start this nonstop drone, well, the kids are doing this, you know, Becky started college and Billy's graduating from high school, went on for 25 minutes.
Starting point is 00:26:23 You didn't even get to take a breath and they just gave you the most mundane shit. That's option one. Option two, she comes over and she's like, I'll tell you what, I caught my husband in a threesome with these girls. They were all scissored up. It was the biggest mess you'd ever seen. They were just, I mean, it was baby oil scissoring.
Starting point is 00:26:44 Which would you rather have, the tea or the boredom? I would rather you let me eat my food. Now, if it's coming down, if it's coming down to whether I need to listen to you or eat my food, honey, it's going to be food every time. I don't give a damn if you caught the devil. I don't say, but I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I just drinking, okay? The moment you start, like maybe like the second sentence
Starting point is 00:27:26 when I'm like, oh, this is really gonna be boring. This wrapping it up. See for me, I don't even have anything in me to not tell people we can go ahead and wrap this up. Is that what you say? We go ahead and wrap it up. Yeah. I will.
Starting point is 00:27:41 To my best friend. My best friend will call me and don't, she will say long story short and it'll still be long. So what I have decided to do, best friend, I need you to get to the meet and you won't have to shut the fuck up. Like, and she's like, oh, mom, sorry, friend. Right, because you're, I am 43 now.
Starting point is 00:28:03 I know I get it from my mom, but I just saw somebody do a story on this. Look, when you get past a certain age, like you get irritated quicker. Like, that's true. It is so true. So growing up, we used to be like, oh, mama, just say anything. Oh, grandma, just say anything.
Starting point is 00:28:22 No, they they, first of all, they don't want to talk to you. But secondly, they need you to go ahead and rap. Come on. Cause they got enough stuff going on in their life. So for me, I definitely, I wish I had the music from the aux Oscars or the Emmys that they played, like the little box that I can press, but I will definitely tell my friends whether we've been friends a month or two years, wrap that shit up, wrap it up. That's a great idea to get the music on. You can have it on your phone and just hit play. Say okay that will conclude your speech today. All right I want you to talk about this. We emailed with you beforehand. I want you to talk about people that don't
Starting point is 00:29:01 use their turn signals. Let me tell you something. Research needs to be done. Research needs to be done. I don't know the numbers per se, but I'm going to tell you right now, 99.9% of the people that have pulled out in front of me and cut me off only went up a block. They, they took the first, like you did all that. You almost killed me to go up the block. They are in the same box with the people that don't use their signal. You put on your signal, you don't put on your signal, try to kill me getting over just to
Starting point is 00:29:35 go a block or you have your signal on. I'm waiting because I think you're turning here. No, it's just on. You ain't turn it off. So I'm like, no, somebody got to tell you that your signal's still on and you don't hear it ticking. Like I'm confused. So either something's broken, but for me, I'm talking about the road rage is deep, deep, deep,
Starting point is 00:30:00 deep, deep down. Because again, we are sitting in this, what? I don't know how much they are, three, four, deep down. Because again, we are sitting in this, what? I don't know how much they are, three, four, five ton. It's metal wrapped around us. And you out here playing games back and forth in the lanes, I don't have time. I really don't. I tell my children all the time,
Starting point is 00:30:20 listen, at any moment I will go in and edit my will. Right. So maybe this day I'm like, I'm not I'm not messing with my brother. Take him out. He made me upset. Whole time. I still love him. Now I didn't die because you use your signal and he thinks I hate him. When that's not the case, I was just pissed that day and I took him out. So I think people see people to understand what they're playing with when they going, they messing up my whole family.
Starting point is 00:30:48 When they're just playing with the fentanyl. You're up in there changing your will. Great. Yes, I will. I'm like, you told me you was gonna give my $20 back on Friday. I ain't got it. I delete it. And then, you know, he cashed on Friday. I delete them.
Starting point is 00:31:05 And then, you know, he cash out me and I put them back in. It just depends on how I feel. Oh my gosh. Okay, Roshonda, why don't you talk to us about people that call you when it could have been textable. Oh my God. I just had a conversation yesterday with someone that says, do you know, the horrid question, do you have time to jump on a quick call?
Starting point is 00:31:39 That's the worst. That is the worst. Number one, that's a lie. It's never quick. It's never quick. And if you send me a Zoom link, I know it's not quick. Yeah. Because you could have texted me this. So for me, it's always, it's this text. Now my phone, if you all don't know, my phone has been on silent since we put Barack in office.
Starting point is 00:32:02 My phone has not run. If I miss a call, I'll see it when I look at my phone, but it don't ding, chirp, vibrate, nothing. And that's okay with me because I get easily overstimulated. But when you text me and say, number one, are you awake? Number two, can you talk real quick? No, I cannot. Is this textable? I want to, even if you,
Starting point is 00:32:30 oh, it's too much to text, send me a voice note, send me a voice note and I'll get it. But I'm not getting on the phone with you for you to tell me that your cat had kittens today, ma'am. And absolutely not. I just wanted you to, uh-uh, you could have sent me a picture and you could have texted me. That's, I don't understand. But again, some people are,
Starting point is 00:32:55 they wanna hear your voice. They wanna talk on the phone with you. And that is fitting for people that I am sleeping with. And that's it. I'm gonna take this. This is great advice. When somebody, yeah, when they send out a Zoom invite, I'm gonna respond, is this emailable? Yeah, but the problem is people email you and then they want to have a face-to-face about what's in the email and it's like, motherfucker, assume I can
Starting point is 00:33:19 read. Like this is what I'm talking about. It's the worst. Oh my Lord. Pumps, our ability to suck and then wake up the next day and suck more than the previous day is undefeated. It's unparalleled. We are the champions. If you would like to see how bad we suck, please join us in New York City in November for just some world-class shit talking. That's right. Live. Live and in talking. That's right. Live. Live and in person.
Starting point is 00:33:46 That's right. Hey, I've had it listeners. This episode is proudly brought to you by Lola V, an award-winning hair care line founded by the ever fabulous, ever iconic Jennifer Aniston. A lot of you have been talking about Pumps hair in the comment section. Pumps, what's your secret? Okay, I'm telling you these products, the shampoo and conditioner, are fabulous. The conditioner is maybe the best conditioner I've ever used in my entire life. It makes my hair feel great. I absolutely recommend it. Also, listener, new this season and perfectly giftable is
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Starting point is 00:36:36 Okay, now we're gonna play a game with you called Hat It or Hit It. Oh my God, welcome to Hat It or Hit It. I would hit it. I would. Hat it. I hit it every day. Sometimes twice a day. Had it or hit it. Facebook. Oh, I've had it. Let me tell you. You all need to get your pap paws. Y'all me malls. Y'all great. Un Sally's your great uncle. Rufus get them. Listen, they be on Facebook just, I mean, they believe anything that's posted there.
Starting point is 00:37:09 Yeah. Anything that's posted there. Did you know that monkeys jump rope, Roshanda? For the Russians? What? Like, I'm done. I'm done with Facebook. No.
Starting point is 00:37:30 Okay. Had it or hit it couples that sit on the same side of the booth. Oh, hit it. I just, I just, listen, I am, I love love, you know, even though I am totally in the streets. I love people that are in love. So I love to see them sitting on the same side or with their hands in each other's pocket walking. It's very gay. And I am here for all things gay. Oh my gosh, you're just such a romantic. See, we hate that, but we make an exception for gay people because their relationship is just harder in general. So they get to sit on the same side. their relationships just harder in general so they get to sit on the same side of the way that is true now that i think about it it's only gay people that i've seen do it it works out much harder to get there okay had it or hit it family tiktok influencers influencers. I'm gonna say I, I, I, who? I don't know. Let me define it for you. Okay. You got Shelby, she's about 35, blonde hair, she's got on a little flowered
Starting point is 00:38:34 boho chic dress. Uh-huh. I'm already over it. I'm already over it. Listen here, ever since my dear beloved, because I love her, but ever since Nara made homemade hot dogs. The bar is too high for family. I don't even know how that is made. She said after a 10 hour flight, her husband wanted hot dogs and she set the bar, but I can't. Okay. So I've had it. I've had it. Okay. Had it or hit it and y'all just share with our listeners and with us what this means. Our producer prepared this. Had it or hit it, hobo, sexuals.
Starting point is 00:39:22 Now, you know, I've had it with the hobo sexual. I did a whole announcement. I did a whole announcement about the hobos. They are out here. They are out here and they will scam and scheme. And some of them have great sex and they use it to get into your dwelling and you can't get them out. It's like herpes. It's like the ones they're there, once it's there, it's you just have it. Okay. You're going to have to get a court order to get them up out of there. Once they get one piece of mail at your residence, they now live there. The people that you are shacking up with and cuffing this season,
Starting point is 00:40:00 I need you to verify that they have a job, a vehicle and their own residence outside of your, they cannot, they cannot seek asylum in your home. Let the hobos go. I don't care what they do with their mouth. I don't care what, if they had you upside down, let them go. Use their bodies and put them out. That's what I said.
Starting point is 00:40:27 I had it. Okay. Had it or hit it. JD Vance's eyeliner. Who cleared it? What makeup artist said this is going to eat Vance? Like when you get out there, you're going to be a rock star for real. Whoever did, they need their license suspended and they need to be put out to pasture. Because he looks a mess and the same people, and I believe, I don't know if it's correct, but I believe that the people that
Starting point is 00:41:02 are giving him this eyeliner, it's the same people that keeps telling Donald to put this, this concealer. It's not concealed. Jail jail immediately. Somebody needs to pay for their crimes. Okay. Okay. Last one. Had it or hit it, Kamala Harris and Tim Walz? Hit it. Listen, I don't have an option.
Starting point is 00:41:36 I just don't. I'm not playing around with my Inside Out corn purse or nobody else's. I don't understand. I don't understand. I don't understand. I think this is the most one of the most progressive tickets that I've known about and it's going to have to there's no other option, right? If there were other options, maybe but I love coach and I love Kamala. So I'm like who else was going to step up right? We were out here. I'm talking about the
Starting point is 00:42:04 first part of July was a boring a snooze fest galore. OK, I was like, OK, I'm going to do what I got to do. But I know that Joseph, you're tired. I know you're exhausted. And for me, I tell people, I said, I am not agist at all. Right. I want people to get out and enjoy their life. But if you all don't know, being a president is the most stressful.
Starting point is 00:42:30 Like you all saw how Barack hair went from black to gray. Please, that man aged. And black don't even age, like for real. I know. It's stressful. Yeah. So at Joe's age, I want him to lay down. I want him to watch Price is Right, eat his Jell-O, rub his knees with some WD-40, and
Starting point is 00:42:48 sit down. And who better than the vice president of the United States to take over? It was just, it's the best option for us right now. You know what I'm so proud of Joseph Robinette Biden for doing? When he pulled out of the race, he didn't pass over the black woman. And to me, that was one of the more inspirational things that he did throughout his entire political career, because there was all this chatter, all this chatter, we got to get a white guy in there, we got to get the da da da da da da. And he was so principled
Starting point is 00:43:25 that he said, this is who I'm endorsing. And everybody fell in line and everybody has rallied behind her. And listen up motherfuckers, if you're still driving around and you're still listening to us and you haven't voted, Roshonda is going to come after you with her blackboard. Today, I need you to vote. I don't care what you're doing. I don't care if you're vacuuming your roof. I need you to get down and go vote. I don't know what kind of medicine people be taking. Maybe just whatever you're doing right now, stop and go vote. Roshonda, I cannot tell you how much we love you.
Starting point is 00:44:07 And we want to tell our listeners again, go follow Roshonda at shop underscore A-I-F. You will not regret it. You will thank us nonstop, 24-7. Get out there and vote. Roshonda, we want to have you back on again. You're too fine. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:44:23 Absolutely. Thank you all so much for having me. Thanks for coming on. See you later. Bye. All right. Bye. Sometimes when you see somebody on Instagram or TikTok,
Starting point is 00:44:33 you think, did they rehearse this? Or are they funny extemporaneously outside of this? She is. She totally is. And what's so funny about it is I hear her voice now when she goes up to the board saying stuff and I mean, so I loved, I mean, how excited were we? We kept talking about, oh my gosh, we have two weeks. I would ask Kylie, how many more weeks?
Starting point is 00:44:55 How many more? I just love her. And I hear her voice in my head from all of her stuff on Instagram. No, she's great. I mean, when we're traveling together, that's all we watch. We just go through her entire page and this poor Uber driver is listening to us and we're just cackling going bananas. Let's watch it again. She's so funny. All right, listener, make sure you've secured your tickets for our show on November 16th in New York
Starting point is 00:45:18 City. The link is in the bio. And I just want to say we'll never forget you, Javi, we love you very much. Pumps, tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up, patriots, gay triads, and natriads. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe, and review
Starting point is 00:46:06 so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, Pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Cacaw. A little bit more enthusiasm. Cacaw. That's it. That's, that's, cacaw.
Starting point is 00:46:19 That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.

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