I've Had It - Spider Homicide

Episode Date: December 21, 2023

Jennifer and Pumps are joined by the amazing comedian/actress Sasheer Zamata today. Sasheer goes to bat for a cause that's not getting enough attention... spider homicide. The three of them also bring to light many false claims and rumors committed on children and adults alike such as, Drowning turkeys and the Tooth Fairy. Pumps details a recent encounter with a public baby-talker and Jennifer has had it with the over-abundance of forced surveys. Come see I've Had It live on the Hot Sh*t Tour! More info & tickets available at https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast and subscribe to I've Had It wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you to our sponsors: JustThrive: This episode of I’ve Had It is brought to you by Just Thrive, use promo code: HADIT for 20% your first 90 day bottle of Just Thrive probiotic or Just Calm at JustThriveHealth.com Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps Special Guest: Sasheer Zamata @thesheertruth

So we're supposed to start the podcast. One, two, three. Just back in action. I think for fun, from time to time, you should do it. Five, six, seven, eight. And then clap. You know I have no musicality there. One, two, three is probably a star. I can do the five, six, seven, eight.

Okay. Five, six, seven, eight. And then, yeah. Okay, we can do that. I think it would be good. Pumps, what have you had it with? What I've had it with, you know, I have a real problem with baby talkers. So when I was in the airport recently, this woman who had sunglasses on inside,

which goes all through me, and huge, huge, huge lips, like, I know mine are big, but I mean hers are like really big. Okay. She's behind me, FaceTiming her husband, and she starts baby talking in Spanish.

And I'm just like, it's bad enough that you're in a line baby talking, but you're on FaceTim in a line, baby talking. And the worst part is, I can't understand what you're saying, because I really want to. Right. So I just, I've had it with baby talkers in any language. So it sounds like there were multiple violations before you even get to the, so many, before

you even get to the baby talking, bilingual,ual baby talking. By lingual baby talking. Which normally is an asset for you. I'm totally turned on by anybody that can speak another language. Like two languages, I'm your girl. But she had on sunglasses. Inside, which is my number one biggest bugger I've had at ever. FaceTime call, hate FaceTime in public, in a line, and then baby talking. Like, she was the trifecta of I've had it.

Yeah, you know, the airports really bring out the worst in people, especially me. It reminds me, I remember one time the kids were pretty little and we were coming back from Mexico. And Josh and I, I mean, I think we had flight delays and we finally make it and we're in like customs and immigration, right? And we're like, you know, you're snaking through the lines. Right. You know how they wind you through. And so there was like, I'm like, let's just go under this. Right. So I go under it. The kids go under it. Josh goes and unwraps the fabric thing, pulls it back. And then like 20 people, like I think he thinks that he works there and they start charging through. And I look at him and I go, Josh, you can't, like,

you can't let all of these people pass you. This is eat what you kill. We're in customs. Like you have to jockey for your position. So he gets mad at me and the kids are standing there staring at me. I mean, I'm there probably like six and nine. And he was like, what do you want me to do? And I go, you are such a fucking dick. Like everybody heard me.

Right. The kids heard me. And then we just kind of storm through customs and are just kind of pissy to each other. But now that Josh and I are so much more evolved, beacons of mental health, multiple rehab stents, and you know hours of therapy later, we chuggle now when we're at the airport looking for the couples that are getting mad at each other, like we used to. Yeah. And so we'll be in line and you'll see the mom like, watching, what's what he's doing right now?

Look, look, he's pulling up. And it's so hilarious and hopefully like, she's really giving him the business, isn't she? Well, I mean, when you have little kids, it makes it worse. But sometimes you see people that don't have little kids that are fighting, that are bickering with one another at the airport,

and I'm telling you, listener, this is peak entertainment. Yes. I used to be a part of the problem. Oh, I did too, but I'm a much better person now. I just am much more relaxed because I'm not married anymore. I think that's why I go through customs.

I used to, like, if we had a plane change, like coming through customs particularly particularly I would run out smoke a cigarette and come back. So I would braid that line twice. I've done that with you. I mean what the fact? Multiple times. I mean how bad do we hate security lines and I just volunteer to double it all. Yeah. I mean I would basically run off the jet bridge. Yeah. Run out there, smoke, smoke, smoke, run back, wait and security line again. Yep. Yeah, run out there, smoke, smoke, smoke, run back, wait and security line again. Yep. You couldn't be not addicted.

I couldn't be not addicted. Now, but I'm just telling you, listen, keep an eye out. When you're at the airport, you're bored starting to get frustrated. Look at the couples and look at the teeth grinding and the whispering and the low voice like this. Like get up there, get your idea. Oh, damn it. Where's the boarding pass? this, like get up there, get your idea, god damn it.

We're just rewarding tasks. Yeah, it's really good because everybody like collectively is sharing this irritability and frustration. And obviously there's nothing more satisfying than taking out said frustration on your life partner. Oh, there's nothing better than that. But I no longer do that anymore because I'm just all cupcakes and roses over here. You're so evolved.

It's unbelievable. In like, Met City over here, baby. Yes. I'm only petting in little on this podcast. Right. I mean, I just look up on the high road and I only see the souls of your shoes. You know, it's cold up here on the moral high ground. You need to bring me a blanket so I can just curl up on the moral high ground.

Yeah. All right, so let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with the over abundance of surveys. Oh yeah. Everything that I do, I go to get a blowout. Please write your blowout, did you like your blowout? You stayed at a hotel. How was your experience? And it goes on and on.

And then I've noticed something new. So it's like 25 emails after an event is over with it. Right. I don't want to relive. Now I've noticed something new when I'm using an app in the midst of using the app. A little alert pops up. Are you enjoying your experience?

Oh, I hate that. On this app. Hate that. And then you, it's your forced. And then you have to pay. You can't go forward unless you fill it out. You have to put yes. And then it will prompt you again.

Please give us a star rating and you have to do it. Yeah. And so like, I'm being forced into a Yelp review that I didn't opt into. Like I can go and give this thing a review later on my own terms, should you want to, but they're engineering this app to where you're forced, you're locked and loaded. And then it's, and then I'm like, I didn't want to do this. I didn't want any part of this. This is ruining the entire app experience for me.

Too bad there's no comment right there where you could say, I love the app and tell you something in the survey and you fucking suck. That's right. That that would be good. But I'll tell you, speaking of five stars in reviews, I would be remiss if I didn't remind our listener to go to Apple and leave us a five star review. Right. Because we do not practice what we preach, and neither should you.

Or if you're gonna leave it one star review, make it a great comment. Exactly. Because we enjoyed it too. I saw somebody the other day on Apple left like a four star review and explained why it was a four star review. And then I was just like, you know, honestly,

that's fair. I'd say we're about a four star podcast. You don't even have to leave an explanation for such a mediocre rating, you know, like, like I'm fine with four stars. Right. I mean, honestly, in my opinion, that's exceeding the expectations that we had upon ourselves. Right.

We're about a 2.5 and we're three on a good day. Right. Right. Yeah, exactly. Welcome everyone to I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm ENG. We just want to thank everybody for listening to us on Tuesdays and Thursdays because we have a lot we have to say.

Don't we, pumps? We do. Not all of it's meaningful, but we have a lot to say. Yeah, it's a lot of rhetoric. It's a jet stream of bullshit. Right. But we have a lot to say. Yeah, it's a lot of rhetoric to judge stream of bullshit. Right. But we stand by it until we do it. Nothing we ever say is that deep,

unless we're talking about social justice issues. So everyone that loses their fucking mind in the comment sections, check yourself. Take a chill pill. Getting mad about apps and fucking airports is not that deep people. No, just petty grievances Lots of them. Yep Kylie's here Kylie. What's going on in the in the complaining world of the internet? You brought up five service. I've got one for you. Oh good

This one's titled I Roll God damn city. I like that and they write These two AARP members can make me laugh like no other. I'm so glad there are two people in this world that see how stupid the general public is. Love you Jessica and PIMPS. PS, when Pumps is put into a home in a few years due to her age, please continue the pod.

That won't be a problem. I mean, Kylie and I will just continue right on. I think she said these two AARP. I think you got lumped in. She rectified later when she said when pumps is put into a home, I was going to attack that. I think she rectified it later when she said draw distinction where there really isn't one.

She rectified it later when she said when pumps is getting put into a home due to her age. No mention of me or that girl Jessica. You think Jessica's quite a bit younger than you? Yes, but that's not. I've also got a one star review. Oh, good. Titled the worst. Who gave these two care into microphone? Does anyone want to hear privileged white women complain about the mundane bitter,

boring, and vanilla are the nicest things I can say about this podcast? All I own a lot of that, but I will not own vanilla. I don't think either one of us are vanilla. We're like Rocky Road ice cream, not vanilla. I disagree. You don't think we're totally vanilla. I don't think we're super vanilla. I mean, I'm sorry, Pam's, we're white. We have blonde hair. We, yeah, but we're, we like think outside the box. We, not, we do in Oklahoma for the rest of the fucking world. That's really true. I stand by it. I'm Rocky Road. I'm not vanilla.

You're Rocky Road to me. Thank you, Kyle. That's sweet. Let's sweet. You want one more? Yes. K-5 stars titled Keeping It Tight. Jennifer and her middle-aged lesbian friend are just fabulous five stars. And so it continues. That's good shit, right there. Oh, listener, before we proceed, I have to tell y'all a little something. The plot is thickening on all of us gaslighting pumps into the lesbian arc. So we all know about the erotic dream, right? So we were on tour a couple of weeks ago, and we're on stage and we're talking in New York and we're talking about pumps as erotic dream, which I always knew was

with the basketball player and pumps. That was a twin. You knew there was a twin. I know she was a twin, but I thought you only had the erotic dream with one of them, right? Come to find out, All right, come to find out. It is a incestuous, manage a tuo. It was with an orgasm via the star of our show. Pumps with two twin sisters. And we need to remind the listener and the public at large. This is the singular wet dream this woman

has ever had in her life. Is that, is one not very many, I mean, I know it's not very many. I know boys have them more than girls. How many of you had? I don't even think I could count them. Oh, really? So over 10. Oh my God, Pops. Yes. Pops, can I ask you a question about this dream? Yes. I mean, it's been 20 years, so I mean, I don't know how many details I'll have. We talk about you being a pillow princess. Right.

Did you do anything to them or did you just get? That's a great question, Kylie. And I can honestly say I don't remember. I would assume, I know we kissed, but I know that still qualifies as pillow princess. They did something to make you orgasm. Yeah, totally, but I don't know what that was. I'm just wondering if it was mutually beneficial for the twins as well.

I'm guessing, I mean, if I had to like put a gun to my head, I'd say probably not beneficial to them. You're not a giver. Not a giver in the lesbian dream. I don't think I mean, I could have been, I could have been a rock star. I could have just been unbelievable in the sack, but I don't think. I mean, I could have been a rock star. I could have just been unbelievable in the sack, but I don't remember. Let's dive into this making out with people

and your dreams, who else have you made out with? I don't know. You know, like somebody run into the Super Marguerite, I'm a scene for while I end up kissing when your dream or something like that. I mean, nothing like, it wasn't like Brad Pitt or anybody. Do you think the girl in the dream would say you're a good kisser?

These other people? Oh, I would think that I'm a great kisser in my dreams. You think the girls would say that? Yes. Both girls. Okay. I'll just, I ask Kylie this all the time. Kylie, what do you think about all this?

I think it sounds pretty gay. It's just becoming my tagline because of you, poems. What else has been going on, Pops? You were in court today. I had mediation today. I liked my client, so that's always good. Oh, okay, so the mediator today told me that we had a case together like when I was a baby lawyer. And the only thing she remembers about the case

was that when the judge went off the bench during the recess, I went in the corner and took my panty has often threw him in the trash can. I was like, I don't remember that, but it sounds exactly like me. I haven't worn panty has since then. And I also remember before there were cameras in the halls, I used to go through like going from floor to floor

and I'd like spike up my spanks in the hall, like pull my dress up in the stairwell. Pull my dress up, put it down, and then probably like 10 years ago, I was doing that and I looked up their cameras, I was like, well, that. We have reached the new life that you can't pull up your spanks in the stairwell. What do you mean pull up your spanks?

Like if you're wearing spanks and they like start falling or something, you pull them up. So I would like flip my skirt up, hike them up, like hike them up. They were arch up, but just read just that. Okay, so you're lifting the skirt all the way up and then grabbing both sides of the spanks and adjusting them up. You kind of like an old chubby man, you know, that always would have like the toothpick in his mouth and gets up and he's like, yeah, with suspenders kind of, and kind of like pulling it up over his gut. So you were kind of doing the old white man, let's do it. Yeah, 15, like 15 years in that stairwell. Then I got best at on the CCTV or whatever you call it. So now I don't do that anymore. I wonder who was watching it. Probably no one.

Oh, I don't know. I think that maybe the twins were watching it. Ha ha ha ha. All right. Richard. Yes, ma'am. Do you have anything for us? Oh, you guys sound great. I just love y'all voices.

Oh, thank you. Thank you, Richard. All right, so listen up, listener. We have a great guest today. A really great guest. Mm-hmm. She is a comedian and actress. And let's welcome to, I've had it, Sashir Zamada.

Pumps, when I think about you now, I think not constipated. I mean, it's unbelievable what these just thrive probiotics have done for the star of our show. There are no spoons being crammed up your dairy year. You are on the just thrive probiotic and our dogs are on the just thrive probiotic. And I'll say what, they are thriving.

And I am on the just calm psychobiotic and I'll say what? They are thriving and I am on the just calm psychobiotic. It's unbelievable how much less psycho I am. I can completely tell a difference in your psycho level. No question. Listener, if you're ready to take control of constipation, bloat, and stress and live your healthiest life yet, you can get 20% off your first 90-day bottle of just calm and just thrive probiotic today. Visit justthrivehealth.com and use the promo code hadit. That's justthrivehealth.com and be sure to use the promo code hadit.

So, share how are you today? Welcome to I've had it. I'm good. Thank you for having me. I love your set. Oh, thank you. Well, we like to meet here every Tuesdays and Thursdays to discuss little petty grievances that we've had. And we consider it therapeutic to get these things off of our chest with friends. You know, we have found being positive all the time.

It doesn't work for us. And we've tried it. And we ended up in hours upon hours of therapy sessions. And that's a different podcast on a different day. But we consider ourselves more enlightened now. We consider ourselves beacons of mental health. We do play as positivity and got to a new realm of cynicism. Positive cynicism.

Positive cynicism is our brand. So in that vein, Sashir, tell us what you've had it with. I've had it with people telling me to stop killing spiders in my own home. It's my space. And I get to decipher who stays alive and not in my own home, I think. I can't stand the people that Escher bugs out of their house instead of just killing it. I'm like, fuck and get over it. Kill it, move on. It's Darwinism.

Truly. I mean, it's like, this is, there's plenty outside, outside of my house. And somehow you chose to go inside. And now that's just the rules. This is my domain. And I've seen all the articles that are like, don't kill the bugs because they kill other bugs, which feels like they wrote it. Feels like a spider with the article. Totally.

Also just that like, yeah, if a spider's gonna decrease the, the bug count in my house, they're adding to it. They are the bugs. I can just give it to them myself. I don't need the actual spiders. I'll get rid of all the bugs. I don't need to. Right, I've had it with all the bugs.

I totally agree. I was once bitten by a black widow. Yes. And it like, I had the bite mark and then it showed through my veins where the poison traveled through and you could like see where it went. So I'm really big into a spider homicide. I mean, I think it's something that three of us could band together to promote because there's look, it's a giant globe. They probably outnumber us for sure, you know? Absolutely.

And I think that once you come on the enemy territory like my house, your house, it's war at that point. Yeah. It's the death penalty. I agree. There's also this awful rumor that you swallow like eight spiders a year or something. Yes. I actually thought. Yes. I could tell.

Exactly. Yes. I googled it too. Yeah. That was like a, I think it was a test to see how faster rumor could spread or something like that. It was like a fake tidbit that was given to the people and the people ran with it and they're like, yeah, we swallowed them in our sleep.

But it's like, we have a soft kisses. They would close. This is not like our mouth is just open and like a hallway for bugs to go down. And tell you just love that like so many people are so goalable that they buy into that, that like, oh yeah, as a species, we're swallowing dozens of spiders every night. Nobody wakes up, nobody goes,

what is this on my tongue? Cause you know the likelihood that one would get stuck on somebody's nasty ass plaque filled tongue. You know, that one would get stuck on somebody's nasty ass black-filled tongue You know that that legs could get stuck in there and they'd wake up and people'd be pulling spiders out of the mouth And I haven't heard of one I haven't heard of one documented case of this yet We have all of these people that love to believe bullshit. Yes. I mean, I I a pretty crazy story. My mom told me that turkeys were so dumb that they would drown in the rain. Like it would be raining, right? And they would look up at the sky because they'd be like, whoa, what's that?

And then they'd swallow the rain and drown. And I was, I lived my whole life into adulthood thinking this was truth. And I said it out loud to a friend, and they're like, you can't possibly think that's real. And I was like, well, my mom said it when I was 12. So why would I question that? And then we looked it up, and it's absolutely not true. Same kind of science with this fighters.

Of course, Turkey's would just open up their throat and then swallow rain and die. And they know what rain is. It's not like they're confused. But I think what actually happened is, it was like a southern old wives tale because there were a bunch of turkeys that were dying in the rain.

And I think what happened was it would rain, they'd try to run away from the water and they would like try to climb over each other at the fence and claw each other to death, which is a more horrible story to tell your kids on the farm. So I think a lot of kids just got told, oh, they're just drowning. Which is the thing. I was told that same thing as a child.

I'm not the turkey. I'm about the turkeys. Yeah. Really? I missed out on that. Yeah, the drowning turkeys because they were so dumb. That talking about the turkeys. Yeah. Really? I missed out on that. Yeah, the drowning turkeys, they were so dumb. That's exactly what I heard. Yeah.

Kids get lied to quite a bit. Oh yeah. You know, starting with Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, and tooth fairy. My mother would tell me this elaborate story. And she would be like, I'd lose a tooth. And she said, Oh, Jennifer, you just put it under your pillow. And I remember when I was just your age, I put my pillow, I put my tooth under the pillow, and I heard something in my room,

and I looked up and I saw this blonde hair and this white gown exiting the room, and it was, in fact, the tooth fairy. And I believed her, like I totally believed it. And then you know what, my mother forgot one time? She forgot to if I can do it. My mother would forget to pick me up at school. So of course she forgot about the lost tooth, right?

She would leave me at grocery stores sometimes. She totally forgot she had a kid. And so I wake up and I look under my pillow and I'm like, there's no money. So I go into my mom and she goes, oh, she must have been really busy darling. Go back to bed. So I go back to bed. She comes in, gives me this giant hag, slips like a five dollar bill under the pillowcase. And of course then she leaves. And I, you know, I cracked the entire case because the tooth was under there and the five dollar bill.

And that jet stream of bull shit about her saying the tooth fairies gown. It was just a, I mean, she totally whistle blew on herself. Yeah. You know, it's a lie when there's like too many details. Come on, a white gown. Why is this important? Yeah, exactly. That is so true. Exactly. Well, what else have you had it with this year? I had these chairs, these outdoor chairs that I had, like, these thoughts of grandeur that I was going to like wrap them up in twine because I was like, it'll look kitschy and farm housey. And I bought so much fucking twine. And then I started it and I was like, oh, this is going to take me my entire like, why did I ever think I could do this?

And so I stopped. It looks so pathetic. I'm just like one row of like twine on the top of this chair and I gave up. And the other day I took the twine back to the A's Hardware and the cash person in the cash register was like, oh, what were you doing with all this? And I was like, oh, I was doing a project with these chairs I gave up.

And she was like, I would have loved to have seen that. And I was like, I gave up. Why? Just take the twine away from me. And that this project will never happen. And in fact, I'll probably throw the chairs away. I just like, don't ask me about it anymore. And so, do you do a lot of home improvement stuff all the time?

I was like, obviously not. You know what the biggest racket in the DIY world is? And it is the gingerbread houses around Christmas time. So my kids are now 17 and 20, but when I was this young, you know, just aspiring mother and I wanted everything to be magical for my children before I realized how doomed we all were.

And so I would go to Target and I'd buy, oh, this looks so great. It looks just like what you see on TV. I'm gonna build this gingerbread house. I've never, I've tried probably seven different times. They're impossible to build, right? They fall apart, the walls fall apart. You are set up for failure.

And then the kids are upset. Have you ever tried to do these? I tried to do it once and it was the disaster within the first 30 minutes and I said, fuck it. I don't know how you do it. Christmas time also just seems like a crafting nightmare for parents. I can't imagine. I don't have kids so I haven't been asked to do this. But like I've seen videos of people doing the the elf on the

shelf stuff where you had to move the elf in every night. I always forgot. I always forgot about the wall. More lies. More lies. And then I forgot about it. It's just one more thing you have to do at Christmas, which is already overrun with shit. It's also very funny that we like, one our kids to believe in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, as if those are good options. Like some old man is breaking into your home when you're asleep and has also been watching you sleep the entire year

to make sure you've been good. Right. And then they give you stuff, or if you're bad, they give you cold. Like, there's like, why is this a good story? I don't wanna. Yeah, now with all the breaking into houses and sex offenders, the Santa Claus is a whole new light as an adult for sure.

Truly, don't trust strangers, but we do want this guy to. I'm sure our homes. While we're sleeping. So I did some deep dive into you and I noticed that you were a celebrity ambassador to the ACLU, which is amazing. The ACLU does amazing work. And specifically for the Women's Rights Project. So we use share with us and our listener because we're either trying to enlighten our listeners that are on the middle of the road

or get rid of the far right listeners. So, do your parts this year. Yeah, I've been working with the ACLU since 2014, and they approached me because the things I would talk about in my standup or videos I would make kind of aligned with what they were working with with the Women's Ripes project. And so with them, I would make sketches or do speeches. And I basically try to like break down what they do in layman's terms because they're lawyers.

And everything they're doing is very law-speak and get a funny lens on it. So talking about like racial bias or privilege or forced pregnancy and the right, the reproductive rights I've been stripped from us recently. Those are big issues that the ACLU is working on right now. But I think that what they do is really important, and I think the work they do is important, and I think really what they want when they work with like celebrity ambassadors is more amplifications,

and I'm happy to do that whenever I can. So what is the, what can you tell our listeners about the Women's Rights Project? Because I think that, you know, obviously as a woman, you feel sexism and agender disparity throughout your whole life. But I think it's, I think if you're a woman of color, I think that feeling is even more intense than Angie and I could ever imagine. And so can you please share with our listener the challenges that you faced

as a black comedian, you know, forging that very successful career in your life? I face a more disparity in my life than as a comedian honestly, but you get surprised where you see it. I actually talk about this in my, my stand-in special that just came out about the medical industry and how they don't necessarily listen to black women when we talk about pain. And this is a issue that really happens to most women in general. There's just like a long history of medical professionals not understanding the difference between female bodies and male bodies because a lot of the research has been done on the human body is based on male bodies and not a lot of literature has been updated.

And then when it comes to African Americans or people pain here, or this is intense heat here, or something like that, but then they're in their medical books. They have things literally say things like, black people have thicker skin, or our veins are bigger, or like, things that are just are not true, but they're still being taught those things. So I think talking about it and getting more vocal about it, people are like,

oh, wait, maybe we should actually like change some of this stuff or or or or amend some of these things. But it's like, it happens to people I know currently, like my friends, my family, me, I got hit by a car in college and went to the hospital and they wouldn't give me pain killers because that is something that a lot of people experience where they don't get pain killers because they are assumed that they can tolerate more pain. Whereas if you are probably white, you will get pain killers immediately. Yeah, it's a disparity that I don't think a lot people think about, but it's a bias, it's very prevalent. Yes, we had, so we've had the podcast now for about 11 months.

And our first black guest that we had on, Kylie, our producer, makes, you know, reels to put on social media. And she spoke against Candace Owens. It was a really funny clip. And we lost, from our first black guest, we lost 5,000 Instagram followers. And here's the disgusting part, this year, in the comment section on Instagram, they were flexing about it.

The racists were like, oh yeah, they lost followers, and they're celebrating this. And as a woman, it really made me sick. And then as a white woman, it really made me like, wow, you know, the experience that my friends that are of color have to go through so much more than I've had to. It just, it really like made me sad for humanity.

It makes me want to platform and lift up all black voices because this happened two or three months ago. Right. Our first black guest and we lose five thousand followers and they're celebrating in the comment section. They want us to shut up because we're white Southern women, you know, we're supposed to be a certain way. We're not shutting the fuck up. It's not going to go away if you ignore it. It's not like, oh, we don't talk about it. If I don't think about race or think about injustice or anything like that, it'll just go away. It's prevalent. And these are also human issues.

It's not like these black issue or this is a woman issue or this is a Indian issue. It's like these are issues that affect all of us. And I think as a human, you should be concerned with these things because you want your community to be safe. You want your community to be safe for your children and safe for your neighbors.

It shouldn't just be like, well, I don't see it. So as long as it doesn't bother me, I'm fine. Because that's not, like that's not even, I feel like a lot of like conservative or people touting like religion or something like that would be like, well, you know, I don't want to be bothered with that. I just praise God and go to school or whatever. Go to work.

But it's like, there's not Christian link. That's not what I feel like America was built on. Like, there's a lot of things that people are saying they believe in, but they're not putting it in practice. I mean, had it, had it, had it with it. You and me both. All right, let's lighten it up. Let's play a game. Thank you for sharing that. It's something that I think, I think that people have to get comfortable talking about and platforming so that we have empathy, you know, reciprocal

empathy for one another and for everybody's experiences. And we like to do a lot of shit talking on here, but any chance we can, you we can try to make a little bit of a difference that's a hill we'll die on. Yeah, I mean, I appreciate it. I'm glad you asked, because yeah, I do want your listeners to think outside the box, think outside their community, because that is important.

And that's what I like doing comedy for that reason, because I do feel like comedy can break down people's defenses and help them listen more to someone else's perspective. Like, in my standup, I pretty much just talk about myself and talk about my life from a personal perspective, but that does include being a black woman in America. So if you are not that, you will probably learn something. Right.

I did a show in DC a couple of years ago ago and this man came up to me after the show. He was like, I want to tell you something. First off, I voted for Trump and I was like, bad start. I didn't ask. Okay. He's like, I voted for Trump, but I loved your show. I had no idea. I didn't know anything about your work. I didn't know who you were. I just came to a comedy show, but I did feel like I could connect to what you were saying on a human level. And like even though I didn't go through these experiences, I didn't feel alienated. I didn't feel like I was broken down to. I just felt like, you know, this was just purely funny. And you were talking from your experience as you experience it in the world. And I love that because it's not like I'm trying to like get everyone to like hold hands and could I in my show or anything.

I'm just speaking my truth, but I love that people are still able to understand it just because there's something in there that you can relate to. And I think that's what I want people to get when they see art. It's like, this is a human experience. We're all going through this. Even if you had an experience in your life specifically, hopefully you can understand it a little bit more and have more empathy for the people that it is affecting.

Agree, totally agree. I love that. This isn't a good start. I don't know what it's like at all. OK, we're going to play a game with you called Hadit or Hidden. Oh my god. Welcome to Had it or Hit it. I would hit it. Had it.

Had it. I hit it every day sometimes twice a day. So sheer, Had it or Hit it, going on dates for free meals. Ooh, hit it. I've definitely really. I know, it's like, it is I'm definitely really. I know it's like, it is a waste of time.

You probably will be bored, but for a free meal, I was broken New York for a long time. And I was like, if you wanna take me out and wine and dine me and I'll just laugh at your dumb jokes for a little bit, there's no guarantee after. I could, maybe I did think I like this person. I did want to go on a date. It's a risk either way. So yes, I'll take your food. See, I've had some bad dates. So I mean, I would like rather like cement, I think.

So sure. Had it or hit it eyelashes on cars. Had it. They're ridiculous. They are ridiculous. Who is it for? Like, is it for the viewer? Like, is it for all the other drivers on the road? Or are we supposed to like look at our rearview mirror and be like, am I in the movie cars? Is this car flirting with me? I always think the person that put that on there thinks they are so cute and clever. And I'm like, you're not cute nor clever. You look stupid. Do you think they're Disney adults? There might be a strong correlation. Because it's a very like Pixar thing to do. You're right. Yeah. It really is. It really is. I've had it as well. Had it or hit it, femurizing.

Had it. What is it? I've had it. Femurizing is advertising with a feminist lean to it. And so many products and companies do it where they'll put like feminist values or all these like women, you go girl, rob, rob, Rah, Rah, for you imagery in their ads for to trick women basically and being like, I guess I need that thing. And it like happens with like body wash shampoo, a lot of period stuff for women are just

like, they're like climbing the corporate ladder. They're riding horses, they're golfing, they're playing soccer all on their periods. I'm not doing any of that. I just want to lay down. You show me that commercial where I just want to lay down. Right. Pillow in my lap. I have a heater on my back.

Like stop making me go outside. I don't want to do that. Yeah. It's like the whole they do and they do it with rainbow capitalism too. You know, it's absolutely. They try to reach out to targeted groups, but we did it. We read Amazon reviews sometimes on our episodes and one of them was for big pins that were made for women in pastel colors. I mean, how gross. Wow. And the reviewer was real tongue in cheek. Like, I use this to prepare my recipe card for my husband's dinner, you know? Yeah. It's just, but I

agree. It's either it's one of the two. It's either like, here's the gender role you're supposed to be in or look what a boss bitch you can be while you're bleeding on day two of your period. And you want to literally kill spiders in your house. Right. Yes. It's my being my house, spider-free. And not to do anything else. Yeah, it's very, it really is tricky. And it's like, they think they're doing something good,

but they're really like pandering. And it sucks when feminism gets trendy. Right. Yeah, obviously, feminism is good, but it just sucks when it's being used for corporate use. Totally. And you know what I've noticed? I never thought about this until some other country

started doing this, and they're giving all of their citizens free sanitary, period tampons and pads. Really? Yes. Scandinavian countries free, and you think about it, if you're broke and you're working minimum wage,

you're barely making ends meet. And you have, you know, sometimes listener, these periods can be incredibly heavy and you feel terrible. And they're expensive. They are expensive. And I really have had it with America for not giving away free, you know,

women's sanitary supplies that we need for a period. It should be free. I think I saw somewhere at some state at least took the taxes off of sanitary products. I saw that. Yeah. I'm sure it's probably. It's probably Massachusetts. It's not Oklahoma. It's certainly not Oklahoma. They get all the stuff in you and California. Okay. Yeah. All right. Had it or hit it, purity culture. Oh, had it. Oh, yeah. That's such a weaponized tactic of to control women's sexuality. Yes. And our bodies to be like your impure, if you sleep with too many men, or your impure, even if you lose your virginity, the idea of like virginity as a social construct is so wild because it's like,

like someone took it from you. Someone has to take your virginity as opposed to you having a choice and whether or not you want to have sex whenever you want to have sex. It's just like, there's so many ways that you can shame a woman through owning up to their own body.

And it's so unfortunate. I agree. So misogynistic, too. Tell her about the people you know that are given their, about the rings. Oh, yeah. So they give their daughters like on their 14th, 15th, 16th birthday, something like that.

A ring to wear on their finger like a wedding ring, but it's a purity ring. And you promise not to have sex before marriage and you get to keep the ring. Now, how fucked up is that? It's disgusting. It's gross. It's gross.

It's gross. For a parent, a dad, to have that conversation with a hormone pumping teenager and put that shame on them. It's so, it's so cringey. And where we live, you get out into the suburbs where pumps live. And it's full of people. No, and they like, they were listening to this.

They'd be like, God, those girls are crazy. They're going straight to hell. And they're serious. Like, they believe that. That's how indoctrinated this culture is. It's nice. Yeah. Your daughter is going to have sex. She doesn't want to tell you. Right.

You rather have the information on how to do it safely. Right. And like how do I get pregnant or not how do I get a disease? Then for you to slumber ring on her and just lie to you. Now it's like now she has to lie to you. You have created a culture where she does not feel safe to talk to you. Now, it's like, now she has to lie to you. You have created a culture where you, she does not feel safe to talk to you. Right. And or she's going to talk to her friends and get a litany of wild information because the kids don't know anything. Right. And it's just like,

why are we having the cycle go? Just like give her information. Like, here's how to do it safely. I'd appreciate it if you wait till you're married or until you're an adult, but like, if you're gonna do it, like I wanna be in the loop. Right, right. That's a much healthier way to talk to your kid about it. So, share, had it or hit it. This is the last one, Drake.

Mm. I think I'd say, hit it. I mean, his music's very fun. I've never been to a live show, but he's pumping out jams. It's unfortunate he released an album recently that was like very gay club, like, it's kind of music,

and people were like, no, Drake, what do you do? You have to, that's not what we want from you. But then Beyonce did it and everyone was like, yes, we love this. Yes, we. And I feel bad that he didn't, that he somehow missed the boat on that train, but whoops. Yeah, I don't know that I'd know a Drake song from any other song you would. I would. You would.

You would. Everywhere. And he's collabed with everybody. You would, you would 1 million percent know a ton of Drake songs. There's no way you could be alive living in on the planet and not know a Drake song. I mean, it's just a mega star. Okay. Yeah. When you go to your WNBA games, they'll be playing. That's funny that you said that because the only time I ever remember being acquainted with him was when the raptors were in the NBA finals and he was such a vocal fan and so fired up.

And they were like, that's Drake and I'm like, who the fuck is Drake? But so now I know he's a big music guy. I totally well, this year, I hope you feel better. I hope you feel like you've gotten, I hope you're able to go commit homicidal rage to these arachnids in your house was zero guilt because we support you whole heartedly. I do feel better. I feel cleansed from the inside out. It's kind of like a giant rage out.

Yes. Yes. Thank you so much for having me. This is fun. It was so fun to meet you. You are so gorgeous. You have the most gorgeous smile. Oh, thank you. Thank you. I love it. All right. Thank you so much this year. I like that she likes to kill spiders because I hate little pussies about spiders. Nobody likes it. You know, somebody who's...

I just... I don't think I could save a spider. I know. There are savable bugs. Like a ladybug I'm not going to kill. No, I'm not going to kill a ladybug. A roly-poly. I'm not going to kill a roly-poly. But a spider's going down. A Rolly Polly. I'm not going to kill a Rolly Polly. But a spider's going down. A spider's going down.

A mosquito. A roach. All that shit. A fly. Can't quit. Kill him quick enough. Yeah. All of those are its capital punishment.

Right. It's the death penalty. Come in my house. There's one penalty. Yeah, I can make exceptions for cute bugs. Yeah. Unless irritating. All those bugs that we mentioned are just fucking irritating.

Yeah, they are irritating bugs. I'll tell you what, we'll just not surprise you at all. My daughter, when she sees the spider, you would think that she has been hijacked on a plane. She is so panic, screams bloody murder. I'll run into her room and she's, it's a spider like less than a dime size. And she's screaming hysterically. I'm like, you're a big fucking pussy. Nice.

Jump on it, pick it up, throw it in the toilet. Do you flush your spiders? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think I got to flush it to make sure if the murder wasn't 100% successful that the drowning will be. Yes, it's a twofold. Yes.

When any coming back, No coming back to life. That's right. We have to make sure it completely goes all the way down. All the way. Yes. So I'm sorry if there are any Buddhist listeners that are upset, but we believe in homicide for annoying bugs.

Right. If it's not like other bugs, because they bug you. They bug. Yeah, ladybugs, butterflies, really polys are exempt. Right. But not like their correct bugs because they bug you. They bug. Yeah, lady bugs, butterflies, really, really, really polies are exempt. Correct. For sure. All right, listen, I've listened our go to our Lincoln bio hot shit tour is going to be at a city near you. If your city hasn't been picked yet, quit being a pussy in the comment section. We're coming to you. We're going to get to you. It's happening. We're only two women.

All right. And so we're gonna make it to you. Go to Patreon. We're dropping a couple of videos there a week. We have our documentary club. Follow us on all socials, five star reviews. Yak Yak, blah blah, pumps. We will see you next Tuesday, or Thursday, or both. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪