I've Had It - Straight Panic, Gay Excellence

Episode Date: December 23, 2025

Ashlyn Harris has had it with MAGA's 'traditional family values' bullsh*t.Get tickets to see I've Had It LIVE in Atlanta, Georgia, on February 1st at: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast.Thank you to our sponsors:Apretude by Viiv Healthcare: Learn more at https://APRETUDE.com or call 1-888-240-0340.Pretty Litter: Right now try your first bag for just $14.99 and get a free cat toy at https://PrettyLitter.com/hadit.Quince: Find gifts so good you'll want to keep them with Quince. Go to https://Quince.com/hadit for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.Follow Us:I've Had It Podcast: @IvehaditpodcastJennifer Welch: @mizzwelchAngie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumpsSpecial Guest: Ashlyn Harris @ashlynharris24See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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triots black triots brown triots everybody else can all all right welcome to america's top dei podcast we are in new york city in my apartment we're actually sitting side by side because we're so tech savvy those of you on youtube we have two different cameras our producer is not here with us so our lighting temperature is not exactly the same because we're gen xers that don't know how to do that properly hey but we're trying and um I think I'm just going to go and ask pumps. What have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with, and I've had it.

When I tell people, you move to Oklahoma City, or if I say, I'm going to New York City, oh, are you scared? Are you scared to be there? Are you scared to be on the subway? No, I'm not fucking scared. I'm not scared even a little bit. I feel so safe. I feel safer in New York City with the more restrictive gun laws that I do in Oklahoma.

So tell me, you watch Fox News without telling me, because they're all about making people scared of big cities. And I've had it. Well, it's because the remedy to obvious white supremacy is multiculturalism. And so they have to demean large cities where people live in multicultural societies and thrive and engage in arts and music. and all sorts of things and they just have to scare the rubs into thinking if you go to New York City, you're going to fall prey to crime

when in all actuality, the red state crimes are far more per capita than the blue state crimes because the Christian nationalist politicians that run the red states act like they're so Christ-like and act like they're so pro-life. Meanwhile, they take their Christmas photos

with their kids with AR-15s. It's just, it's so backwards, it's so insane. But here's to segue on what you just said, here's something that cracks me at. People in like Oklahoma or a red state, they think they're freer, that they have more freedom. And the thing about being in New York City is somebody can walk down the street in underwear and boots and no coat. Nobody would think one thing of it. There's no judgment because people don't have time.

And in these red states where the only culture is being. a patriot and going to your church, it provides a very codependent, toxic, noisy, nosy culture where people are all up into everybody's business. In a large city, you don't have time to be up in everybody's business. You've got shit to do. You've got to play. You're going to go see. You're going to a cool restaurant.

You're going to go eat multicultural food. You don't have time to worry about what's your piece of shit, hypocritical, gun totin, Jesus freak, neighbor is doing and you don't give a fuck what they're doing. If you live in New York, you just don't care because you are, you have to cooperate with everybody as a means of survival. Well, and it's so refreshing to be around different cultures, different languages being spoken, different colors of people. I don't think people on the coast realize how homogenous a state like Oklahoma is. And it just, that just drives to be crazy when I appreciate and that's what I love about New York City. And to your comment about freer, when somebody is trying to tell you what should be

in your underwear and in your bedroom and in your OBGYN appointment, that is not freedom. That is not freedom. When the government gets in everybody's business, that's the opposite of freedom. I completely agree. And I just think that there is this, you have a bunch of dipshits running these states that are religious hypocrites that weaponize their Christianity against the electorate. And I think the biggest message that the Democrat should be promoting moving forward is look at how much the Republican Party has taken advantage of your vote. Look at how little they've delivered for you. Look at how rural America has no choice but to be a parasite tax-wise off of these blue economic hubs in order to survive

because your politicians have failed you so much by lying to you. They've lied to you and told you wealth will trickle down. They've lied to you and told you that if you unionize to be treated with dignity by your bosses, that somehow you're a communist, they've lied to you and told you that the immigrants are coming to take your jobs and taking your health care when the truth is Elon Musk and all of the AI dipshits are the ones

They're going to take all your jobs and replace it with robots. And they don't want you to have health care because they don't give a shit. But they're going to do all of this depravity in the name of Jesus. And it's just so gross. And I think the gig is up. I think a lot of people in red states are starting to see the Republican Party is the party of crime. These people, all Trump does is pardon criminals. That's it.

And commit crimes. He commits crimes every day. Every day. This is not the party of patriotism. This is not the party of the Constitution. the party of the rule of law this is not the party of family values these are a bunch of misfit psychopaths that have lied to you starting from ronald reagan and the cherry on top this guy that a lot of you just had to go out and triple trump for and you're realizing oh shit he

really and i know sometimes it takes three times to get shit sometimes it takes me three times to get shit but he really fucked you guys so hard he doesn't give a shit about red states he only cares what the polling number is for him that's the only interest he has in any red state all right my grievance is not political surprisingly and I might get a lot of pushback from this but I think that a lot of you might understand I've had it with grand standing toddlers and here's the here's the example so I was home over Thanksgiving And my sons were home as well.

And my husband and my two sons and I, we went to an Oklahoma City Thunder game, which we love NBA basketball. We go to the game. And seated in front of us is a mother and a father, and they have four children. And the children are all boys and they're aged like maybe 10 months or one year old to probably about six.

I mean, she really popped him out, which, you know, kudos to her. It's ambitious. You want to take them all to a game, et cetera. Not my business. What became my business was the one-year-old sitting in front of me and he gets up and he turns around and he raises up and the seats are pretty close together. So I'm about 10 inches from the toddler. And he's smiling and so I smile.

And then he's kind of like making a face. So I kind of make a face. And you know, you can do this for a couple of minutes and you feel affection like, oh, he's a cute little toddler and he's so cute. and you're trying to be nice because he's a little guy and you're a big gal and you've got to be mature and all of these things right well the problem with toddlers is you it's like feeding a stray cat once you're kind to them and you smile and you give them a pleasantry the show's on and then they're going to grandstand for all four quarters of that basketball game and this little one-year-old uh sitting there i mean it was just non-stop and i just thought okay don't make eye contact

Don't look at him because he, you know, and the mom's just, she's as deep in alligators because she's got all these other kids. And I will say her kids were very well behaved. Like at first I was like, oh boy, this is going to be bad. But all the kids were very well behaved. But the toddler, and I know you've probably witnessed this on like airplanes, once you give them an inch, then they think, oh, it's showtime. And then they just perform for you for the remainder of the flight, the game, whatever it is, wherever you are in a restaurant. your meal. And I've just decided I'm going to cease making eye contact with toddlers. I think that's a good plan. How did you end it? How did you end it? Or did it go on the whole game?

I quit making eye contact with him. That like really tried. And then of course, I had a hard time enjoying the game so much because of my mind. I'm like, don't look at the kid. Don't look at the kid. You're encouraging him to, to grandstand. And I had empathy for the mom because I would have never taken a one-year-old to an NBA game. I just wouldn't have. But she's trying to wrangle all of these kids that she had in rapid-fire succession. And, you know, they wanted to go to the game, whatever, free country. But I didn't want to be the babysitter and the entertainer. So I ceased making eye contact with him completely. And that worked for about a quarter. And then he went down to his dad, which was a few seats down. And then he ultimately came back. And then, you know,

it's nighttime of course he started getting tired tired he started getting cranky and kudos to the mom she she high tucked it high tiled it out with him and the dad stayed with the other three kids and the mom and the toddler never came back so i got the fourth quarter of peace here's the thing i appreciate the mom has four kids she's got a fire drill going on at all times but this falls under my you shouldn't take that little of a kid to such an adult invite you're Like I get the three, four year old, but when you've got a 10-month-old or one-year-old, they don't have the attention span. Invariably, they're going to bug people around them, spill shit.

So my advice, get a babysitter. Get a fucking babysitter. I think it's this new thing. So there's like, for our listeners that are raising kids right now, I think they're super, they get into like mom talk. And when you're raising children, I want to. give a shout out to anybody who has a small toddler or small child at home. It's very isolating and lonely and you want to make sure you're doing everything right

because it's such an important role and you feel it immediately when they put when the doctor puts that baby in your hand, you feel the severity and how important this role is and how in charge you are of this person. And so you can find yourself, I'm sure, down like TikTok and all this. So I think it's this new thing where it's like take the baby everywhere. And in this woman's, like, defense, her baby was pretty good. I've seen some really asshole toddlers that have no business being in public. But I think it's kind of a new trend that people are taking their kids everywhere. So I think it's going to get worse.

Here's the thing. The mother, I have all the sympathy in the world for her. I've had the child that was the asshole that did all that shit. It's just there are certain places you just shouldn't take a kid. I mean, a baby like that. My thing is, like, the kid's not going to remember the game. This kid doesn't know what Oklahoma City Thunder is. This kid doesn't know what a three-point-it, three-point, you know,

the mom would have a better time without the kid, too. That's what I thought. I mean, it's totally what I thought, because I think if you can afford the tickets, six Thunder tickets in the lower bowl, you can 100% afford a babysitter. And even my 19-year-old son said, like, he's cute and everything, but why did they bring him here? Why did they bring him? remember it. So a 19-year-old kind of deduce because I was more like I'm not, I didn't want to

burden other people with the alcoholic nature behavior of a toddler. And what I mean is not that toddlers are alcoholics, obviously, but they act like alcoholics. They bite you, they throw up, they spit on you, they tell you they love you, they tell you, they hate you all within four or five minutes. The only thing I can even closely relate to that is being around a drunk person who does the exact same thing. So you have these little drunk toddlers, and I was very, like, I didn't want my toddlers to impose on public spaces.

So I would either go to super family-friendly restaurants. I sure as hell, just because maybe I'm too selfish. If I'm going to a basketball game, I cannot watch the game and watch a one-year-old because one-year-olds are just disasters. Anyway, the kid was grandstanding, and he was cute and he was moderately well-behaved. I just, I don't, I want to be nice to a toddler,

but I've noticed once you are once, then it's showtime. They're like, it's show time, I'm going to put on a show. And then you start feeling like an asshole because you're not entertaining somebody else's kid who should be home with a babysitter

because I didn't come to the NBA to watch the Oklahoma City Thunder to watch a one-year-old. I came to watch this. great fucking team in my home city and instead I got this grandstanding toddler and just just went all through me now it would go all through me does sound like an asshole no I but I agree with you so I'm an asshole too all right welcome to I've had it I'm Jennifer I'm Angie HBIC that's for Beaver she's the star of the show we're in New York City we are not color temperature wise coordinated with our lighting but we can

we're sitting right next to each other see look let me pull her over here look at that. God, your light is a lot. Yeah. Look at how much. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Your lights. I like it in both lights. Oh, my God. I'm just kidding. So yesterday we're on the subway and just had a real yakker, super nice, sat across from us. And we were looking at Jennifer's phone. And he goes, are you guys twins? And I go, no, she's a lot older. And it took her like a beat to get it. She's like, she's a lot older than me. Yeah. That was so funny. Because it took you, you were just a little bit behind on it. Well, I was just thinking, like, again, like, am I going to feed the cat? Like, do, do what I want to start talking. He was chatting. He was super chatty. And I could tell

and I knew it wasn't just going to in the conversation went on. And he was as friendly as I'll get out, almost bizarrely a little too friendly. But he was, it was a nice guy. And then he started asking a lot of questions. Where are you from? How long have you known each other? And I just, so my hesitation to defend my being significantly younger than pumps was I was willing to let him, let her bask in the glory of a pathological life that she's younger than me for the for the trade-off that I might not have to have a belabored conversation with a man on the subway but my decency prevailed and I defended my youth and engaged in a conversation with a man thank God we only had like one one stop yeah you say decency I think it's vanity but that's just

I'll take that. Okay. I totally, yeah, I totally agree with that. That's a great correction. Okay, I think we have a producer in Oklahoma City. There she is. Hello. Kylie, how are you?

Good. I'm sitting in Angie's seat where she should be. It's nice. Oh, in the studio. Yeah. Are you on my little cushion? No, I'm not on the cushion. I'm way too tall for that.

Yeah. Okay, I have a couple reviews for you. This one is titled, Check This Fellow One Stars, and this is a trend because Jen made a little call to action to the Gay Trots. The sadness of taking time to hate on these women, just because you can't stand yourself or your own choices is bonkers. They're holding a mirror up to your ragged, hateful face, and you know you hate what you see, so you lash out, making yourself that much worse. What about your life isn't deeply embarrassing? Be honest. People are kind of trying to fight back to these one-star reviews.

What I found funny about this one is it's a one-star review. One-star, like they almost got the assignment. What's the name? Week. Weekend. Weekend a day. Weekend a day? Yeah.

Okay. So check this fellow one-stars with the one-star. Is this hashtag almost? Yeah. It's like so close. okay here's another one patriot assembled this is from same jacob tbh just leaving my five-star review as jessica just deployed listener me to combat maga one-star bond review see i like it yeah understood the assignment patron assembled we need more gay treats assembled black triot brown

triots they triots all of the triads we have to we are we have been under assault by magabots Yeah. I recently got to kind of a fight with Katie Miller. So they're going to be coming out even more. So it's going to get bad. So I need all of the Patriots and Gayatriates, everybody assembled because they're going to be gunning big time. Because here's the thing. Katie Miller got her panties in a lot that I called her husband a white nationalist Nazi.

And I just want to state for the permanent record that we hear it. I've had it podcast firmly. believe with everything in us that Stephen and Katie Miller are white nationalist Nazis. Yep. Well, and I just, I had some empathy for Katie Miller before she became a public figure thinking, number one, this is her husband. She has to fuck him. And then like all of his rhetoric and how mean and hatefully is, I was like, God, I kind

feel sorry for it. Now I'm like, she might be crazier than him and that's a low bar. Here's the thing about the Katie Millers and a lot of the women in the MAGA movement that just I can, I'll never be able to relate to. When you have children and you feel this, like I talked about this, just massive responsibility, but also a love that you've never felt before ever. Like I don't think there's a word in the English language that can describe the feeling you have as a mother to your child.

And when I was in that state with young babies, I felt isolated and violent. vulnerable, but I also felt like my most empathetic. Like I felt a connectedness to all of the other women that had ever held babies. And I would think sometimes like, you know, like somebody would ring the doorbell. And I'd be like, oh my God, the baby's going to wake up. And then I would think, God, what about women living in war zones, right, that are trying to protect their children? And I was able to transfer so much empathy that, you know, I had my love for my baby,

knowing that I wasn't a special mother, I wasn't unique, that this is a human experience. So all the other mothers and parents feel the same intensity that I feel, and that connects us all as human beings. And there's a connected, shared humanity in that. And I just can't imagine that you have that feeling towards your child, and you can't transfer that towards immigrant families in the United States. But then I realize they must not have that for their child, because maybe they didn't receive that from their parents. So it's like generational psychopathy. Because anytime I see a woman of color in the United States with their baby,

I know that the system is more stacked against her being a mother than it was against me. And I just feel empathy for that. And I think it's important to say it. So the fact that she can't transfer any of that love, tells me she must not have it yeah I don't I mean it would you can make that case for sure because how can you look at your kids that you love more than anything and say because you're brown and from another country you should not get an education you should not get healthy food medication all of that shit or that you're less of a

family or you're less of a human you know like that they that they're quantifying families And the Republican Party has done this for a long time. They quantify families. They quantified immigrant families are not important, and they should be separated from one another. Families that have LGBTQ plus members in them are not traditional families. And so they quantify the family. And you even have instances where, like Kylie, for example,

from rural Oklahoma, her parents, traditional families, traditional church, then all of a sudden they have this gorgeous, fabulous, wildly successful lesbian daughter, and the people whom they've spent all of their adult lives with now no longer see them as a traditional family. So it causes some reorganizing in people. And then you think, wait a minute, we're just as important of a family right as they are. And actually, we've actually had to go through some evolution and some reconciling of maybe be some black and white thinking that we had that was not helpful to other families. And so I just, when it comes to those people, the lack of empathy, especially when you've bred and

you've had kids, like, God, Kylie, what do you think about all that? I agree. And I think that is something that these families like mine, for sure, I can speak on. they really struggle with how people perceive them as that traditional family. I think that was something they had to wrestle with really strongly is worrying about what other people thought in their communities, their church, because now they're not this traditional family. And so I think that they almost cared more about that

than they did meet the actual logistics of me being gay. I think it's what will my community of these traditional families think of mine now, which is the judgment. The judgment, because judgment is so prevalent. Yeah. When really we should strive to be a society. Like I strive like when I know somebody is gay and they live in Oklahoma and they have, you know, traditional family parents. I feel the need to love them more. When, you know, when I know that my really close girlfriend of mine and her husband have a trans daughter and I know that the trans agenda is so weaponized against her well-being, I really do. triple check in on her and triple check in on her daughter and her husband. And when I have this microphone in front of me, I really want to advocate for trans people more because I realize they need more love, not less, and that people like all of us have

to share our stories and have to raise the humanity level. And we have to value everybody, it could be a single mother with one child. That is a family. And it's not any less than any other family. And it's just it's or it can be, you know, two people that are in a relationship that live together that choose not to have children. And they have a cat. That is a family. And that is valuable.

And that is that whole household's world. And my, because I have two children, doesn't mean that my family is more valuable or that my family is white doesn't mean that we're more valuable. That we were born in America doesn't mean we're more valuable. And that's just the most. insidious thing that the Republican Party has done long before Trump has devalued families while saying they're pro-family. And it's just such horseshit. It makes me so goddamn mad. All right, we have a guest. I bet she'll have a lot to say about this. Kylie, thank you for sharing that. We love you. All right. Our guest today, she's my friend. She has been here to this very

apartment for dinner. I loved her. We bonduramed. She has the host of Wide Open podcast. She is a creative consultant, entrepreneur, and the coolest thing on the planet, two-time women's World Cup champion. Pumps and I are cool as shit. We have athlete World Cup champion friends. I'm not as cool as you because she hasn't been to my apartment. Yeah, but she loves you. She does love you. And she has our merch. She wears Kangles McTockers. Oh, that's right. I've seen her in that. She's super cool. She has a smoking hot girlfriend, Sophia Bush, partner, I should say. Let's welcome my BFF. Ashlyn Harris.

Patriots, Gay-Treats, they-Triots, Black-Triots, brown-triots, and all of the MAGA assholes can do what pops? Fuck off! I'm Jennifer. I'm in New York City right now.

I'm Angie. I'm in Oklahoma City right now, but coming very soon, we're going to be together in none other than Atlanta, Georgia, our very first live show within Atlanta. So, January 31st,

we reunite on stage at Center stage in Atlanta, please come join us. We are going to have a matinee because we've had it with things starting too late at night. So this will start at 2 p.m. You can get all liquored up, go home and pass out. Guess what? You'll get so much sleep you won't even be hung over the next day and you're fighting for democracy. Please join us. It's going to be so much fun. And as much as we're excited to see each other, we're excited to see you guys. Hope to see you there. Click the link below and the show notes to get your tickets. We hope they sell out fast. All right, listener, if your cat

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1499 and get a free cat toy at pretty litter.com slash had it. That's pretty litter.com slash had it to get your first bag for just $14.99.0.99. Pretty litter.com slash had it. Pretty litter cannot detect every feline health issue or prevent or diagnose diseases. A diagnosis can only come from a licensed veterinarian. Terms and conditions apply. See site for details. Hi. Mama, how are you? Well, I am just so fine and dandy. Who is that?

That was... Cha-cha. Cha. She's trying hooky from doggy daycare because it's going to snow today in New York. And I decided to keep her all bundled up. Well, let me just tell you, I... My kids came home from Scotland yesterday with my ex-wife. So last night, you can only imagine was a roller gun.

was a roller coaster. Oh, it's awful. It's awful. I woke up to a child poking my cheek at 4 o'clock in the morning, being like, Mama, wake up. I can't sleep. It's dark out. So that was my fun night last night.

So Mama is here. She is alive. She has a coffee in one hand and a protein shake in the other. So let's go. This is what Hamson is. This is what Pumps and I would refer to as kid jail. And so you need to know. And a lot of our listeners know, but new listeners need to know where Pumps and I really bonded.

It was long before the podcast. We were raising kids together. And it's such a bonding experience. Now, we weren't lessees like losing kids together that way. Right. We were married and questioning our life choices, the time in which we chose to breed choices, but loved each other, loved our kids, and we would all throw them in a car. taken to gymnastics.

All you can eat pizza buffets, nutrition was paramount. Right. Yeah. But it's very, we were just talking for this. Sometimes raising kids, it's obviously more than anything, uber rewarding, but can also be very isolating. You feel very isolated from the world that you used to be a part of pre-children. Well, I mean, you know my chic lessee friends in New York City.

All they do is hang out, go to social clubs, have dinners. and I'm like, I'm mommy with a three and four-year-old. Like, I am lucky to get out once a week. And if I can get out once a week, it's a success for me. Yeah, your kids are little. You are in the weeks. It's fun, though. I love it.

It's a type of suffering I'm kind of used to being a professional athlete. Oh, my good. It really, it just like, it triggers my, like, back in the day. where I'm like, I just, this is about suffering and being better and working hard at things and testing my fucking patience. So I just, I just yuck it up to here we go. We're just rolling our sleeves up. We're going to suffer a little more. All right. So Ashlyn Harris, what have you had it with? Oh, gosh. We're going to just get right into it. I love this. Okay. Can I list a few? Because I live in Trump's America, so I've had it clearly with a lot. Yeah. First and foremost,

I'm really, I've really had it with straight people trying to tell me how to live. I just have had it. No more. Stop enough. Can't we just, can't we just shorten that to, I've had it with straight people? Well, I didn't want to like, because I love you both. Of course. Of course.

I can only imagine how exhausting it would be to be queer, gay, lesi, all of the letters in Trump's America and the sanctimony of the straits in the administration acting like they're better than everybody else. It's just so important. Yeah. And nothing irks me more than they're like, well, let's not be political here. And I go, oh, fuck, it must be nice. That everything you do doesn't revolve around your like literal human rights. Okay. Cance. It's a privilege. And my thing, Ashland, is when they say, I think the response, the collective response that we need to say to triple Trumpers and to MAGA at large, if they say, I don't want to talk about politics or we're not political, we need to say, oh, you're mistaken. This isn't a political disagreement that I'm having with you. This is a moral and ethical disagreement that I have with you. So this is not even remotely about politics, morally and ethically.

I have a problem with you. If we were disagreeing about tax policy, I would agree. That's a boring subject. Let's not talk about that. But we're talking about human rights right now. Exactly. Yeah. Sophia and I just last Friday went to the Out 100 event.

And people, you know, media was there asking questions. And I'm like, girl, you know how we feel. Let me just be gay and at this party. I don't need to talk to you about how awful it is out there. Like we all know. Like, let this moment of queerness and excellence and everyone actually being able to blend their makeup and dress nicely. Like, let me have my moment. Yeah, yeah.

I have a question for you. And this is based on my own anecdotal research. I have a hypothesis that lesbians are better athletes than straight women. And I have developed this by playing pickleball with a bunch of lesbians. Okay. And they are just a little different on the court. There's a little bit more intensity. There's a little bit more athleticism.

The cat-like reactions are a little bit more fine-tuned. And so on your soccer team, I would imagine you had straight women plus lesbians. And my question for you is, on your team, were the lesbians more talented than the straights? I think it's a mixed bag. Okay. Yeah, I think it's a mixed bag. I do think there's more queer people in women's sports, period. But I do think it's a mixed bag because if you think about some of the greatest players of all time, whether it's Mia Ham, you know, Alex Morgan, people like this, they're straight, straight women.

In the tennis world, Serena Williams. Yeah. So, yeah. Renee Stabs. Yes, exactly. She's a lesbian. Oh, that's right. That's right. A very big lesbian.

I'm sorry, Renee. I'm straight about her. But then you have like, you know, you're Abby. and like you're Megan Rapino's and it's funny because when we won the World Cup I think in it was 2015 or 2019 Megan Rapino says you can't win championships without lesbians, gay people and it went everywhere and it's the truth like you just you can't win championships without gay people I really like that I really like I live by it all right another grievance you need to another grievance that you had

were self-checkouts and I just want to talk about that we no no no pumps I know you don't know me but hear me out okay my patients go to my children not to self-checkout lines during the holidays everyone is going to buy things period I went to my goals because sophia and I were decorating you know our tree we needed the garland and all the things the trinkets and trash there were four checkout lines there were 400 people and not one employee and every time you like you do the beep beep and then it goes please see an employee well now what am I supposed to do no one works anymore so it took so long to just like we had 100 items because they're little trinkets there's you got to do ornament by or I it I've lost my mind with it enough I don't like the

robots. I don't like the technology. Give me back to a normal human that slides and scans and we can talk. We can BS all we want about whatever it is going on in both of our lives at the moment. Like, give me a human. It's, it just, I've had it with it. I've had it with the self-check. Like, am I going to be making the food next in checkout lines? Like, they have all of us doing everything nowadays. And I'm over it. I don't have time of patience. I agree. I hate. the self-checkout for the reason that you mentioned hate it when it says you need to see an associate find me one yeah i'd be happy to see an associate but you can't find me one i think jennifer makes fun of me but i think it's harder to do the scan and quick and bag i mean

it's kind of an art a little bit it's not just the easiest thing for me so i'm slow but yeah i think self-checkout is pumps god forbid you forget your bags too nowadays you can't even get bags here yeah yeah it's always out they were like sorry we have we don't have bags and i'm like oh okay so i have a hundred items i'm checking out myself and now what am i and and michael's told me i couldn't bring the cart outside because people were you know we're stealing the car yeah right we're in new jersey so now we're really getting somewhere they're like no you can't take the cart outside people steal them you have to keep but isn't this all lead back to the big lie of the election. The election was immigrants are taking your jobs. Right. And the truth of the matter is,

AI, meet up the entire workforce. So in essence, the people who donated to Donald Trump's campaign to be bigots towards brown-skinned workers in this country, we're actually going to gobble up all the jobs that white people are doing. Americans, quote, they call, I do not support this phrase, but heritage Americans. They're replacing all of those jobs with AI jobs. So the job thieves the whole time have been Donald Trump's donors. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, the misinformation out there and everything he ran on has been, it's just been such a fucking nightmare. Everything has been, it's doomsday. And it's like so hard to compartmentalize everything because it's like, I want to find joy and like raising my children and it's a beautiful time

to be alive when you have everything you ever wanted. And then it's like the reality hits of this is really Trump. I like, if I could get two minutes with him, God bless. Ooh. I would start by blending his. Also, I'm like, honey, you need more gay people in your life. Yeah, for sure. You wouldn't look like an orange banana, or orange peel.

You wouldn't look unbelievable, like all of his clothing and, like, it's disgusting. I'm like, you act, get a gay person to do your hair, please. Yeah. Get a gay person to do your makeup because it's, it's showing very straight and white. Well, except for Bubba. Who's Bubba? Yeah. I think he probably, I think he probably wouldn't put up too much of a fight to be surrounded by a bunch of gay men.

I mean, every time I hear him, he's talking about how hot men are, the size of our, Arnold Palmer's cock, giving a microphone a blow job. Jeffrey Epstein's brother revealed he sucked off some guy named Bubba. Putin's got the information on that. But I want to, before you came on, we're talking about something. And we're talking about family, okay? And how the Republican Party has tried to define long before Trump, traditional family, traditional family values, which excludes so many people.

And in your family, you have, you and your ex-wife are raising your black children together. So two lesbian mothers, two black children, your partner, Sophia, co-parent, you know, with this situation. I don't know what the ex-wife, if there's a co-parent there. But there is this desire from these, quote, Christian people that value children. now they value surprise surprise they say they value women's sports and they value family but in their mind and in the mind of a lot of the electorate they would see your family as not good as an abomination and a lot of people and I just have to be blunt with you a lot of people in the Bible boat would say it was demonic and really horrible cruel mean things

about your family. And I think the Democratic Party needs to take action to reclaim what family means. Yes, I agree. I agree 100%. I think, you know, we've, we're trying to move so far backwards that we don't even know what mission we're on at this point. We don't know, like, I think it's just got all so jaded and so lost in the weeds. But yeah, I checked every box. I live. in Florida, adopted both of the children through adoption law in Florida and was playing there professionally with my ex-wife and they started doing the don't say gay bill. Then it was like book bans. And I was like, okay, we're checking every box here and actually we're just not safe. I think of what it comes down to is I don't like, I don't know what goes on in you

guys' homes. You don't know, you know, you know what goes on in mine. And I'm like, you know, Like, let's keep our shit. Like, we don't have to agree, but we can respect. Like, I, yes, I have a black and brown child. I love women. I'm checking every box in Florida. I picked my shit up and I moved out. But also, like, that's so sad.

Like, that was my village. That's, like, where my mom is. And that's, like, where our family was. And I have my brother, my cousins, and my best friends. And it's just not safe. And what do you do as a mama bear? And I think that's something that's really underreported right now is the safety of LGBTQ plus people in red states. And if you get to the children of, you know, a gay parent all the way to a trans child that is trying to go to maybe, you know, a therapy session.

and you see that there's going to be a need for sanctuary cities for LGBTQ plus people. And the safety issue and the judgment that I see from having lived in Oklahoma for 50 years towards gay people with an assist from the megachurches, they drive so much of this homophobia. it's so devastating because this is anecdotal again of course but humps and i when we were on two or four of the podcast multiple times we would be flying and there would be two gay dads with their toddlers and i'd just sit down to think oh fuck here we go by the toddlers i'm going to tell you what these toddlers those dads ran a tight ship yeah they were the best flying toddlers i had ever seen. They weren't dirty. They had great outfits. They had great behavior. They'd cute

backpacks. Everything about it was a 12 out of 10. And it always just strikes me at how I know from living in a white patriarchal Christian nationalist state. I know the lens that the judgmental Christians sitting two rows back, I know how they're going to judge those dads and judge those kids and dehumanize and demoralize them. And it just, it makes me so angry that these people, and I guarantee you, Pumps and Ashland, if we looked at the Google search history of these people that are real judgmental about you and your lifestyle, I guarantee you it's not good. I bet there's a lot of fuckery going on in the Google search history. I completely agree. And I think you're a product of what you choose to see. I think it shows.

was in lack of education for me. Like if I were to tell, you know, you guys to look around your room and look for something blue, I mean, you're just, your POV is blue. You're not opening your eyes to other things and other colors and other things that belong. You're just looking through the lens of one thing. And I think too often, especially now with this political landscape, people only see like we're in such this like fight or flight mode and people handle it so differently. The problem is, is we're not opening. our eyes and our hearts we're closing them because we're all scared and we're only seeing the things that are catering to our wants and needs not necessarily our community and other people

who don't look like us so i think until we take the fucking blinders off and wake up and realize we're really harming a lot of people because we're not choosing to do the work and like doing read fucking books i don't know read real truthful things about what's going on and how it's really affecting and harming people in their families, people are only going to see blue. They're not going to see the reds. They're not going to see the purples. And I see the browns, the blacks.

They're just seeing the blue. And I think that is my biggest issue. And the way I move in life is how can I see all of it? And if I can't, how am I holding myself accountable being like, ooh, in this situation, how would someone like this feel? And I don't know if we necessarily do enough of that. that. Well, I would say that they're banning a lot of the books that are probably recommending

that people read. I did read recently. The majority of banned books are by black and brown authors. As a surprise to absolutely know why. But, Ashland, I grew up in Oklahoma, super evangelical society. And when you say that, you're taught, look for blue. My worldview was black and white. That's how it was. That's how my mother's was. That's what I thought was right. And you're so right. you open up like it changes you have to evolve because you see things you've never seen and other people's perspective is something i had no idea about it was my perspective it was what i liked i'm special but yeah so the blue example but that really hits with yeah and i i think you know i think we're really really harming people by diving in and take like peeling back the layers of their

peace and what goes on and like i know there's plenty of fucking weird wonky straight people out there doing weird ass shit in their home right yeah go on don't hurt people don't judge people do your thing get your kink make sure it's age appropriate blah blah blah not my fucking problem so i'm like i'm so confused why people care so deeply about the hot chick i'm fucking every night like what do we like why is at the core of evangelical christianity in my opinion is control over sex and it starts when people are very young and so i was raised by atheists in the bible belt so when i would be hanging out with my peers their number one thing that they talked about all of the time was remaining a virgin i have to be a virgin i have to keep my virginity

it's this they are indoctrinated and brainwashed you know you go to church be a good girl keep your virginity virgin virgin virgin virgin of course these girls lost their virginity far sooner than the atheist did because they're just dying to go do it. Then it was like all this guilt and then they're going to be born again virgins. And then it moves on to when they can't control their own sexual urges because we're genetically hardwired to fuck. Yeah. Then they start trying to control the sexual urges of other people. An evangelical Christianity, which is at the epicenter of Christian nationalism, is all about controlling sex.

Yes. So it gets really, really, really bad for the evangelical. When they see that somebody is completely liberated into their sexuality and are, you know, two women having sex or two men having sex and what you had to go through to be able to get through the societal constraints and the expectation that that's not what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to find opposite sex and you breed and you live happily ever after. That's thrust upon all of us through capitalism, through education, through living at home, through toys we play with. Everything drives us to that narrative. So for a gay person to jump out of that narrative,

you have to dig deep and you had to dig a lot deeper than the Christian who's just focusing on being a virgin and then, oh, sorry, we, you know, now we're gonna start soaking and I'm gonna be a born again version. All the shit, four kids have to go through instead of just fucking and buying condoms like normal people.

And so then it's just, it's such a threat to them. And I think it's such a threat, to MAGA because they want to have shame-free sex. They desperately want to, but they're so into their faith. And I think, honestly, you guys, I think the whole abortion thing, my opinion, is they don't, it's not about pro-life because we know they don't give a finger about it. It's about labeling the woman as a, she's not a virgin anymore. And she had sex outside of marriage so that she will be.

deemed less fuckable and I think it's a punitive thing because the whole epicenter of the whole evangelical white national thing is controlling sex right yeah and controlling women yeah at that part and I think the other thing is yeah well controlling women is we're getting we're gaining too much traction and control and that is like literally exactly what they don't want and my thing is what I love so much about, you know, when you talk about they are fearful of this, that, or the other, what I think is so also what people don't talk about enough is the queer community knows themselves so, like, true, and they're so authentic, and they live a life full of color because they don't give a fuck because they know themselves that well. When you think about drag and you think about

trans and you think about just beautiful gay men wearing a full face of makeup, or, you know, really chic lesbians these people know exactly who they are and they don't fit in line they don't follow the rules the way society tells us to do because we live our fucking truth and i think that is what this you know maga and straight white men it it's a feeling inside them that was like if i had fucking follow the rules and i had to you know follow in line and do this and go to school and be a lawyer and, you know, whatever the bullshit they tell themselves. The fact that we live a life that's so abundant and so colorful and live our truth and do whatever the fuck we want because we don't care what people think about us because we already live

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non-fiction, your next favorite listen awaits. Discover why there's more to imagine when you listen at audible.com slash best of the year. Ashland, we're going to play our game with you called Had It or Hit It. Oh, my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It. I would hit it. had it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Had it or hit it. People who chew with their mouth open. I've had it. Had it. It's like claws on a chalkboard for me. I completely agree. Sometimes my husband does this and we'll be like, and I'm just, I like hyper-focused and stare at his mouth and I make a face like, so he knows that I'm disgusted by it. And then sometimes, And I'm like, Josh, you care so much about your hair, your physique, and your outfits.

Why are you talking to people while you're chewing food? It's fucking gross. Take it over the finish line. You can't cherry pick. If you're going to be vain, be all the way vain. Don't just cherry pick a few things to be vain about. Just fucking go. Go for it.

Can I tell you what I do? Wait, before we move to the next one, I film Sophia. And I zoom in so uncomfortably close. And I don't say anything. and i send it to her that's the level right stop right so that's the level of i've had it with her mouth open that gorgeous creature sophia push she is a creature and company yeah he now he's gonna be proud of it yep wait till we have dinner again that's at your place full open mouth oh josh sophia'll just be down at the end of the table she was kind of a child star so maybe she missed

that parenting lesson i mean and she's got this these these like jaws and it's like i can't even believe the sound coming out of it i'm like this can't be real you're too cute to chew like this no that is hilarious yeah that's yeah i've had it with it okay had it or hit it the fifa world cup 2026 yeah hit it i love fita okay kiley put a note here that Iran just announced they're boycotting the World Cup draw ceremony due to denied visas by the Trump administration. Oh, I love that. See, I loved that. I loved the World Cup. When you guys, I was in every minute, which I want to say, thank you for using your platform for equal pay. That was, it was so important. So I appreciate you using, because you were in all this

glory and then have this fight on your hands. But I kind of think FIFA should be like, we're not coming to the United States because of the human rights violations. In fact, Christy now I'm sitting there going, we're going to deport people from the arena at the Super Bowl. We're going to deport people at the World Cup. I'm just like, don't come. Like, if you value your brown skin countrymen, don't come. Well, the president and Trump are like in bed together. So that's the issue.

FIFA is so corrupt. The things that they do, the way they handle things, they just like have no, no moral compass, in my opinion. I'm going to get in trouble for saying this. But it's just like, you guys, it's just, it's so in your face, too. Like, at least try to hide it a little bit and deny it and then fuck off behind closed doors. But, like, Trump gave him an office and Trump Tower and doing all these things. Like, they're in bed together.

It's weird. White men are weird. I don't know how you all date them and married. You got to. They're just, like, Josh, I had to shine the shit out of that. Oh, she was a rough time. I mean, it was a two-decade-long project. Now, he's great, but it was a big investment.

All right. How did it or hit it? Renee Stubbs. Hit it, baby. Hot. She had dinner. We had dinner with Renee last night. Renee's just cool.

You know, she's just, she's, so listener, Renee Stubbs, she's been on the podcast wise. She's Grand Slam, tennis, champion, doubles player, Australian, and a great mutual friend. of my and Ashland's and pumps and she's just the best. She's hilarious. Wait, can I tell you a really sweet story really quick because you both love this? So when I went through my divorce a few years ago and it was my first Thanksgiving, my first holiday without my children, I was like so upset.

I was just like not good. She rented a car. She picked me up and she was like, I'm taking you to my friend's house. We're like a bunch of gay guys. we're going to have a great time. And it was Carson Cressley. They, like, knew what I was going through. Like, he put me in his master bedroom.

Like, the sweet, like, held me in a way. We went on these therapeutic walks to the horses. Guess who we were listening to the whole time? And she introduced me to. I've had it podcast. She was like, you have to watch this, listen to it. They're my, like, friends. I'm obsessed with them.

We listen to it the whole weekend on all. the drives on the walks and it was so sweet because she was like it's it's like it's like it was a really really sweet time for us to connect but you guys were there too and you didn't even know it i love that and i love that the one thing that i love about the gay community is that family is such a movable evolutionary thing and that for that Thanksgiving break you made a family Carson Cressley and Renee Stubbs and you in the absence of your children so they could be with their other mother. And I have always had an abundance of gay friends and that warmth and that ability to open up arms and welcome people because so many in the gay community have been shunned by their very own parents.

And so the acceptability, especially around big moments like that, is undefeated in the gay community. Yeah, the empathy, the welcoming, the sense of family, and the sense of humanity. So I just love that story. And that Pumps and I were there. You were there. You didn't even know it, but you were there. Yeah. You have better life.

Oh, look at you. You're together? Yeah, we're together. But we should be over there. Why am I not? I know. I know. I should have had you come over.

Except that you have kids that just got home from Scotland. That's okay. They're at school. I was like, no, no. You're not too tired to go to school. Bye. Mom's got to work. I would take my kids.

I would, no sacrifice was too large. to get my kids to school. Oh, never. Absolutely. No. Yeah. Okay. Moving along, had it or hit it, posting thirst traps with Sophia Bush.

Did it, baby. Did it. She just posted one last night late. I woke up this morning. I said, okay, girl, go on. All right. Had it or hit it, U-Hauling? Hit it, hit it.

I feel like Sophia, you. hauled her way right in she was like what i'm from jersey too she picked up and moved her right away i was like are you sure i love it she the hinges from the closet just turned right into the u-hall straight into new jersey she's like i'm here i'm queer here's my fucking u-hall yeah let's post the thirst trap and she's so proud of it literally has a u-hall hat like she's nice she is she she is playing right in She's adorable. She really is. One great thing about you and your partner, the fight for human rights.

Yes. Never doles and your voices just get louder and louder. And it can feel so you being from a marginalized group has not diminished you, both of you using your platforms to let other young, LGBTQ plus people, young, old, whatever. We're still here. we're still queer we're still fighting for you and we will not be silenced by that administration and it's just so admirable because you see so many chicken shit cowards in the united states right

now that that want to be pick me and they want to be popular to everyone it just i just i really like how vocal you guys are so hit it yeah hit it hit it hit it hit it okay all right uh had it or hit it j d vance i have had it with all of those fucking straight white men Bye. Bye. Send them off to an island. Okay. Last one. Had it or hit it, the United States of America? I would say, I don't, that's really hard because I don't recognize this America. This is not the America I recognize. I will say that. And we have a long way to go to come back. So I'm going to say I've had it with this, in this moment, what America looks like and feels like.

I've had it. Yeah. I think it's very, it's very fair. Like, honestly, we should all have it, have had it with what they're doing right now and the way they're treating people. Yeah, and I read. I think the other thing is, Jennifer, is like, you can, you can, I can say, you know, as someone who represented their country for a very long time, who like putting your hand

over your heart and singing the national anthem and representing your country meant everything in the world to you. but like I have to be clear when I say this even though we've had it with this current climate and political landscape let me be very clear like we do the work we show up we're not sitting here and we're like someone else will do it we'll just keep staying hopeful oh fuck that no no no I'm rolling my sleeves up and no matter how big or small my community community is this microphone or platform like I go for it and I need more people like ruffling feathers and going for it and building within their community, like truth and care and empathy and connection.

Like, we have to get back. Yeah. But like so many people are isolated and like it's almost like they're frozen. I'm like, no, no, no, thought out, honey, go to Florida, go on a quick vacation. I don't know. Figure it out. But you need to come back fighting because it's going to take everyone. I agree.

I agree with that. And I think it's so important that all of us continue without fear. and we exercise every right that we have every single day, which is why I always call Stephen Miller and Katie Miller white nationalist Nazis without hesitation, without fear of anything, because that is my right. And that's why I love you. And I want you to never change. Ashland Harris, I love you.

I want our double date. Please. We need to have a five person. I know. I need to come. I'm supposed to be involved. Thomas. How long are you here?

Just move here. What are you doing? she's white more day she's got an old dog husky to die oh oh jesus okay well we'll bless up bless up to that lesbian god we'll send we'll send that doggy to the good place the queer place bounce from rainbow to rainbow yes all right ashen we love you tell sophia hello thank you for coming on our pot yes thank you it was a blast love you both hi darling thanks for having me All right, listener, that she's cool. She's cool.

We're cool. She's an athlete. Some people could say I'm an athlete. You say you're an athlete. I don't think anybody else does. I think she's right. Nobody says I'm an athlete except for me, which means that I'm an athlete. All right.

Buy our book, it is called Life is a Lazy Susan and Shit Sandwiches. It's right here. Hang on. And here's something I can show you. You can, it's the It's Stocking Stuffer. but like we can move it over to we're having so much fun today without a producer

we did our own studio set up which is why the lights suck which is why we look like idiots but hey you know what the show goes on the show goes on subscribe to our podcast and we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday

I'll tell you what I've had it with I've had it with that Listen up, patriots, gaitriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe, and reviews.

so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. And pumps, what does an eagle say? Cicaw! A little bit more enthusiasm. Caca! That's it. That's, that's, that's, that's, cacaw! That's the patriotism that this country means right there.