I've Had It - Sunny With a Chance of Orgasms with Emily Morse

Episode Date: June 13, 2023

Jennifer and Pumps are joined by Dr. Emily Morse to talk about all things SEX. The three discuss the societal shame surrounding sex and Jennifer teaches Pumps a few new moves.   Thank you to our sponsor: Apartments.com - the place to find a place. Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps Special Guest: Dr. Emily Morse: @sexwithemily

So we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready, one, two, three. It's unbelievable. It's, I mean, the highs that I have reached with my clapping, it's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. I mean, you were born to shine. And by 1% talent, it's clapping.

It's unbelievable how successful. Yeah. And just you're at the top, the cremdle of crème of clappers. If there was a clapping Olympics, you'd win. I'd be the gold medalist. Totally. Yes. Gold medalist pumps whatever you had it with.

Oh my god, this is like, I can't even believe it. I've had it with strangers interrupting two people having a conversation. And let me tell you the most egregious example that's ever happened in the history of the world happened to me. So I'm at lunch with my sister-in-law. It's kind of a fancy cute place. Okay.

So this man, Kim's and sits down the table over. He's alone. He's not so old that he's seen aisle, but he's not young enough that he should not have known better. It's probably like 60sish. Okay. So I mean, this is a full-fledged adult. This is a man. Okay. Brown asked me. Okay. So she and I are talking. He starts jumping into the conversation, like adding his two cents about what we're saying. And both of us are like, what the fuck is going on? Like this is weird. So then we both kind of turn our backs

to where he's at the back and start kind of whispering. The nonverbal cues. The nonverbal cues are going out like crazy. Okay. Still doesn't get it. Not picking up what you're putting down. Not picking it up. It got so bad that after we had our appetizer,

we canceled the rest of the order and left. It was so bad. We would've had more peace at a McDonald's with a playground. I mean, this guy shut the fuck up. You know what this is? All roads lead to wet pumps. Yac mouth.

Yac mouth. Yac mouth. Yac mouth. They're everywhere. All the time, lack self-awareness, cannot follow social cues, cannot follow anything. And if you go to a restaurant by yourself, right, be by yourself. Take a book, get on your phone, daydream.

Do you remember that nightmare flight we took when we were going to Mexico? Where you went bananas, yes, I did. Well, there was a drunk couple. Right, sitting in front of us. Yes. And what were they doing? Yacht mouth. Yacht mouth.

What were they doing though? They were budding into our conversation. They were climbing over the seat to butt into the conversation. They were sitting in front of us and her face would appear through the crack and then she'd climb up over. It's like the five AM flight in these feckers for sure, pulled an all nighter in her hammered dog shit drunk. Yes. And they kept on. And they kept on. And they kept on.

And listener, this is the famous line. I think we've talked about this before. We're pumps looked at everybody and she looked at me and she said, Jenny's gonna blow. She's gonna blow. And I blew. I mean, I told them, I was like quit betting into our conversations. I've had it.

I've been saying, I've had it my whole life. I told these people, I've had it. We're on a girls trip. We went to talk to each other. We don't want to talk to you anymore. I just point blank told her. You did. And what was so funny about it is they acted like they were mortally wounded. Like it really hurt their feelings. I was just like, we're not your friend. And you're the one that keeps jumping into our private conversation with your drunk ass. I mean, jumping into our private conversation with your drunk ass. I mean, I still like retroactively have had it with that. It was bad. Do you know something I've also retroactively had it with?

I've been meaning to talk to you about this. Sometimes you've had it with something for like in that era. And then when you think about it, it's like, oh my God, I'd really had it with that. I remember when your kids were really little. My kids were really little. And so I'd load up my kids and would go to your house and it could be a Monday, it could be a Thursday, it could be any day of the week. Walked into your house,

wreaked of bacon and sausage. And then I would go to your kitchen and you had literally these giant plates full of bacon and another one full of sausage. And then usually a box of crispy creams if it was like a Saturday or Sunday. And I was always like incredulous. Like did she not get, she not heard about like the cholesterol and the fat. And the kids, your kids would eat like 10 pieces of bacon

and four pieces of sausage and nobody thought anything about it. Like it was just totally normal. And it wasn't like a Saturday breakfast. It was seven days a week, right? Plates of bacon, plates of sausage. It was unbelievable. I was thinking about that just the other day

because I make for Luke breakfast every morning and it includes either bacon or sausage every morning. It's amazing that these kids haven't had triple bypasses. I mean, seriously, they have had a steady diet of bacon. And so I've never seen people eat that much bacon and sausage is your children. And everybody just serves it and everybody just acts like it's normal. Right. Had it.

I've had it with that. I just wanted to revisit an old grievance of mine. Yeah, no, it's still, it's all going. It's all going. You're still doing it? Yeah, the air dryer has changed my life. I don't drive out to your house that much anymore since you moved out to the suburbs

and because I can't see a goddamn thing when I walk in there. But anyway, let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay. Okay. So, you know, my youngest son Roman plays AAU basketball. Right. So he has two games a couple of Saturdays ago.

Okay. The venue is about a 20 to 25 minute drive from our home. Okay. We go to the first game. I go in, I pay for Josh and I get in, and they give you those little bracelets you have to wear. Yes. Josh parks the car when he walks in, I go, here's your bracelet.

Instead of putting it on his wrist, he sticks it in his front jean pocket. I'm like, okay, whatever, I don't care. So after Roman's first game, we have like an hour, 45 minute window. And Josh is like, I wanna go back to the house, I don't wanna sit in this gym. Right.

So we drive home and then you were sit there for 30 minutes and then we drive back to the venue. Right. As we pull up, Josh goes, oh, I don't have my bracelet. And I go, you stuck it in your front pocket. And he goes, I changed jeans. What?

No, he didn't. He did a costume change. That's ridiculous. And that's ridiculous. I said, Josh, you are a psycho. Like, who does a costume change in between the first game and the second game? And he said, you know that lady when I walk in, she's going to think I went home and

changed my jeans because I shit my pants. Why? Why? He didn't shit his pants, but a psycho did a costume change. I'm sitting there thinking, maybe we need to get Josh a hobby. Something to put more energy in here. Here's the problem. He just started running again. And guess what happens with that? He's obsessed with running. No. Running outfits. Running merch. Yeah. He goes on one run and then I'm like, where are you? And he's like, oh, I came to the running store and I'm like, oh, here we go. So we have to get all the running. When he gets obsessed with tennis, he has 95,000 roughened adult babalot racquets.

I mean, he has to have four because he's like, what if I break a string? And then he's got all the merch and he'll go through like a Roger Federer stage and he's wearing all Roger merch. It's unbelievable. Like he is the perfect candidate for like fucking egregious capitalism.

I mean, he just falls prey to it, like you would not believe. Every marketing person, it would be like, we need to make every single one of our customers as committed to this as Josh Welch's. Yes. Okay, and then immediately assuming that she would think he should his pants.

Well, because you spot it, you got it. He has shit as pants. No, I know, but I just think that's funny. That he immediately assumed she thought he should his pants. Think about how crazy she's thinking I am. Like they raced out. They only have like an hour 30. And then he comes back in a different pair of jeans.

I mean, it's like, was this a shark gone wrong? Yeah, I think that he's giving entirely too much credit to what the admissions lady thought about him and just was just unbelievable. It's just unbelievable listener. It's unbelievable. And I'm so glad that I like, I can just kind of like, oh my God, that is his neuroses.

Right. Like, I just don't pay that much attention to it, but I had to mention it to you because Josh is one of your best friends. Yeah. And you get it on such a level of the intensity that he has about that stuff. Right, it's just, it's nettie.

Yeah, this goes to like inner childhood trauma listeners, what it's from. But that's another podcast on another date. That's right. I would like to welcome everybody to I've had it podcast. I'm Jennifer. I am Angie. We call her pumps. She is the star of the show. She's the hot one. She is the Princess Diana podcasting. Now, I mean, that's just how it's going to be you clap. And this

is how I introduce you. The purpose of pot. You're the hot one, you're the star, let me have this moment to T you up. Alright, let me give you the the proper introduction that you need. The difference. Kylie, let's check in with you. What the hell is going on with our social media? I've got some debauchery. Oh, good. Let's hear it. I'm going to read this comment,

and then I'm going to tell the listener who wrote it after. OK. I feel sorry for Jennifer's cat. She's very ill. Although Jennifer is attentive to her, why does she insult the poor animal on a podcast? What? What?

Jennifer, who wrote that? My mother. What? What? What? I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, to it for tat. She's like, why is Jennifer out trashing her cat on a podcast? And listen to my mother would kind of say it like this. And I don't know why Jennifer is out there trashing her cat on a podcast. Yes. And the older you get, the more you sound like her.

I mean, I think it's just an evidence. My mother is incredibly dry, like very dry humor. She's hilarious. Okay. Who's next? We got a comment on Instagram from Lil Hunt 16. My wife and I love your show, but it has come at a cost. We can't agree on who's the hottest. I think it's Jennifer. My wife thinks it's pumps. It is torn our family apart.

I've been sleeping on the couch for the past week and I'm considering budging and just agreeing with her, but I'm not a bitch. Jennifer is obviously the hottest. Little hot, stand your ground. Little hot, you have to stand your ground. I mean, pumps gets all the accolades. I have very few people that are willing to do this for me.

So, little hot, I love you. And I'm sorry about the family problems. I hope your wife doesn't change clothes in between, you know, an hour window with basketball games, but I love Lil Hunt. I have a feeling he's gonna succumb. At some point, because he's gonna wanna have sex. Happy wife, happy life.

That's right. She's gonna win Lil Hunt at some point. So take your victory lap now. At some point, you're going to be adding old pumps to that spank deck. That's terrifying. Do you fantasize about who you'd be if you lived somewhere different?

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Okay, listener, we have a guest today and she is a sex guru or as pumps would say. Guru. So her name is Emily Morse. She is the author of Smart Sex. Let's welcome Dr. Emily to I've had it. Hi, honey. How are you? Hi, I'm good.

How are you? We are fantastic. We are so happy to have you on. We received copies of your book. Yes. And there is a lot of insightful information in this little sex book of yours, Emily. Thank you. Yes.

I'm so glad you like it. We loved it. Smart sex. Smart sex. Yeah. Because nobody likes dumb sex. No. Exactly.

I thought, who, well, who's gonna say, you know what, I'm good. I'm good with the mediocre to dumb sex. Right. Let's be smarter, right? And I can help be smarter. I think there's a lot of dumb sex out there. Yes.

Oh, yeah. That's how I started my career. That's like, I'm having so much bad dumb sex out there. Yes. Oh, yeah. That's how I started my career. I'm having so much bad dumb sex. Come on, let's make this smarter and better. Well, Emily, we like to talk about what people have had it with. We think there's too much attention on how to make yourself a better person. We feel strongly that one avenue that you can make yourself better is to get stuff off your chest, is to get stuff off your

chest, is to vent with your girlfriends, your guy friends. So tell us what you've had it with. I've had it with shame around sex toys. People not use, I've had it with people not using enough lube. I am. I've had it with stigma around lube. If I have to say to one more person, like, oh, I don't need lube, I'm like, lube is not about needing it. It makes your sex life better.

I have to tell you, Emily, that I heard you on another podcast that I love. And you were talking about the Loub. And I mean, after you, I had never even thought about it, went and got me some Loub. Wait, hold the phone. Yes. So much better. Yes. You are a sexual anorexic. Who are you using the Loub with? I'm just saying if you masturbate with Loub, it's better. Yes. You are a sexual anorexic. Who are you using the loop with? I'm just saying if you masturbate with lubits better, I didn't know that. I know that. Exactly. Thank you.

Dr. Emily, and I both you made my son where you were talking about the porn and how it sets up terrible expectations, blah, blah, blah. Had my child captive in my car like 14 year old son. And I made him listen to it. And I thought he was going to fall out the car. He was down there, but like, you need to know this information. Did you hear what she just said? Yes. That's right.

Yeah. So I'm so glad you did that. That's it. They don't want no. They're not going to want to hear you talk about sex. Your kids are not going to be very excited about it. But that's how change happens. We have to, where else do they get to hear it from?

You know, porn, and porn as we know is not accurate. So I appreciate that you did that. not going to be very excited about it, but that's how change happens. We have to, where else are they going to hear it from? You know, porn, and porn, as we know, is not accurate. So I appreciate that you did that. Just keep having the conversation. And we have teenage kids. And, you know, I think there's two ways that people look at sex. And number one is this abstinence-only culture, which produces a lot of shame around sex. And we live in the buckle of the Bible belt,

and this seems to be a popular method here. And not surprisingly, we have very high teen pregnancy rates. And then they have their church or their parents or peers pressuring them to push this down. And the result of that is people have a lot of sexual disorders and sexual problems later in life. The shame spiral is real and it takes years to deprogram that, to reprogram your mind. And I just think if you think about it, that's your earliest message, it just doesn't go away.

And so I really want encourage parents to talk to their kids about puberty and hormones. And what's happening? Just give it to them straight. Like this is what's going to happen. And I know that that parents like, Oh God, that's awful. But what's the alternative? You know, the alternative, we see the alternative, right? The alternative is a kids grow up and they just feel really, you know, bad about themselves and their bodies and any sexual activities they are taken.

Yeah, I think it's super important. Pumps teller about your okay, this is a a true story when you were talking about you know the shame you don't talk about sex growing up kids are told it's bad blah blah blah okay. So that was me straight down the line. So the very first time I ever had sex I was 150,000 percent convinced when I stepped my foot down that hell would open up, saying would reach, grab me, take me down. So I did the first foot and I was like, okay, I'm good, did the second foot

and then I was like, oh my God, nothing happened. This shit is fun. Now I'm in. I mean, I remember thinking that, it's clear as day. Okay, so let me ask you this. So you are incredibly attractive, darling, and you are sexually smart. So when you date a guy and they get in bed with you, are they intimidated? Do you get a lot of soft serves?

Like how do you handle what your career is with the male ego and how it attaches to their penis? That's a good way to question. Oh God, you know, I've been doing this a long time. I have to say that early on perhaps that was a little bit more, well maybe it is intimidating now. I can see that because it is true that men are raised

to believe or they just, you know, societally believe that they are the masters of the universe. They should be the best in bed. Right. And so when they come into my bedroom, you know, they're like, I'm sure they're a little bit intimidated. However, it's not that I'm sitting there with a bullhorn being like, you know,

to, I'm like, what are you doing? Like, that's not my clitoris. Like, I don't plot my vulva puppet and be like, have you not seen where the, where my nerve endings are? I don't do that vulva pop it and be like, have you not seen where the, I don't do that. My nerve endings are, I don't do that. I'm actually like kind of,

and you know, I'm a nice person. I'm kind of a pleaser in some ways. So I, yeah, but I think that, hopefully here's a thing. You know guys who are, I guess, intimidated who have the confidence. So I don't know. I think they get through it.

I think there's some that afterwards tell me like, oh God, I was really, really nervous. I'm like, you're fine. I mean, I don't know, I think they get through it. I think there's some that afterwards tell me, like, oh God, I was really, really nervous. I'm like, you're fine. I mean, think about being smart, sexually though, is it's not about the moves. It's a really, to be a great lover, you have to pay attention, be present, go slow. You know, care about your partner's needs,

not be all about your own's in like hammering away. So I think it's not that hard to be a great lover if you just really care about the person that you're with and you're curious. It's kind of the same thing we talk about in our podcast when people irritate us, lack of self-awareness, not being intuitive, not taking cues. We say social cues when we're talking about being, but sexual cues. It's kind of the same sort of process that would translate when you're in line waiting to go somewhere, waiting to get something done, you apply that same type

of intuition to the bedroom. And I think that one thing that you just touched on that I think is really important. And I wish more people would pay attention to this is it can be equally satisfying to please another person as it is yourself. And I think a lot of men, it's just men and sex, it's a whole different beast than women and sex. Like their egos are wrapped up into it more than our emotions are kind of more wrapped up into it, just as a default setting. And then after you get, you know, in a relationship with somebody for a while, at least for me as a woman, when I'm more comfortable, I'm a lot more extroverted in the bed than I am

initially. So in that vein, we want to ask you this. So you start dating a guy, okay? And you're having pretty pedestrian sex at first, okay? Because you're just testing the waters. At what time What timeframe do you think it's appropriate to roll out a kink? Oh gosh, I think it's appropriate to roll it out. I don't think you have to wait necessarily. I don't know what's giving me an example. Okay, let's say that a guy is really into anal. And like, if I went out with a guy and like date to he's like, I'm super into anal, I would be like, I'm super out. Like I'm done. And I would appreciate

that he rolled that out initially, you know, some of my gay friends have told me like really weird stories like where they go on a date with somebody. And like, you know, right out of the gate, date one, the guys like, Hey, I'm going to put these socks on and I, you know, right out of the gate, date one, the guys like, hey, I'm gonna put these socks on and I want you to fuck me with my feet with the socks. I'm like, what? Date one, right out of the gates. Yeah, it's a mind filled out there. It really is.

And I think we can learn a lot from the gate community in many ways, that's great because a lot of it is, well, I guess a lot of my gay friends, like, you know, I want to know, I'm just, I'm just, for the sex, I'm not looking for a relationship and we want to like clear it., what are we into the same things? And I think there's a happy medium here. What we see is most people do not talk about sex at all.

I mean, so what I'm proposing here to live a smarter sexier life is for people to have these conversations early and often about sex. And so rather than, I mean, I can't tell you how many people listen to the show, call into sex with Emily and say, I have been together 15 years. We've never talked about sex. How do I get my partner to talk about this? What do we do?

So I think that it's, I mean, I get that more than not. Like more so than not, people are not comfortable talking about it. I do think that the world that I want everyone to live in, we're not there yet. So on the first date being like, hey, like where should we go for dinner? Are you into like Italian food?

I'm really into anal, how about you? Is that, doesn't always roll off the tongue? And it's awkward because we're not there yet. However, I do love the idea of when you're getting into it, you start to know that the sex is gonna happen or you're comfortable with each other to kind of have a conversation with you, you need sort of foreplay even for the conversation being like, oh, so I'm really, you know, what are you into? What are your turn-ons? What do you like in bed? Because then you get to

know if someone has like a growth mindset around sex or if they're completely shut down. But what I realize is that what I offer on my show is that I normalize the conversation around sex. It's like listen to the, how the way I talk about it, I normalize it. I literally want people to talk about sex like they're talking about the weather. It's sunny with a chance of orgasms.

Like let's talk about it. And then it's also having affirmations. And even if it's like in your phone and you're telling your, you write notes and like you're saying like I am a Sexual healthy person deserving of pleasure. I deserve pleasure my body's you know, and that's why I also do that Yes, yes, yes, I'm worried about Pam. She's kind of like a sexual and rex I can tell me tell me more about that well

I can go for years without having sex with the zero issues. Do you remember a time when you were into sex? For sure college law school. Yeah, when I was younger, I think I just had a check mark on the list. Like, what have I got to do today? Go to the grocery store, have that, you know, check. Do you think any of that's from like all the religious and indoctrination? Well, it would have to be, right? It would totally have to be. Yeah. There you go. I mean, I think that that's absolutely of what you were telling me, thinking that you were going to go up and flame after the first time you were like that.

That does it. Right. We just have to move to the bathroom. No, no, but now we know. Now we know. And so that would take, yeah, really, like affirmations, you're deserving of pleasure masturbation.

I love that you bought Lou because, listen, that's the other thing is that self exploration is just really important to understand our own bodies and rebuild our relationships to our bodies and realize, oh, I give myself an orgasm and then you start sex be get sex. So the more sex we have the more sex we want. So, yeah, I think it's a multi-pronged approach. Yeah. that, asking for a friend, wink wink. So how many vibrator options should you have? Like does one have to use it for while get stale? Should you flip over? How does all that work? That's a great question. The great thing is our bodies are covered in nerve endings that feel really great when stimulated. And so I think that there's, oh my god, I have so many

hundreds and hundreds, but I've had every five minutes, but I literally do. That's the one intimidating part, maybe when people date me, I'm like, I've got rows, like my whole broom is just like vibrators. Okay, but I think a great handheld vibrator that like fits in the palm of your hand.

There's so many, if you go to sexwithemily.com, I've got like a lot of guides to or by smart sex. I actually have pictures of all the different kinds of vibrators. I don't think that you need all of them. I love just like a handheld, literal vibe is a great place to start. Just like a wand that's external

because you could also use it as a, you know, as a misoger. Okay, Emily, now we want to play a game with you called Hadit or Hit it. So you can tell us if you had it with these things or if you like it, meaning you would hit it. Oh my god, welcome to Had it or Hit it. I would hit it.

I would have had it. I hit it every day sometimes twice a day. Okay. Had it or hit it, pegging. I've hit it. See that. I've, I did it. See that intimidates me, the thought of that. I just recently found out what this was listener. And so what it is, and you can correct me from wrong,

is a woman will strap on a dildo and then anally penetrate her male partner. And that's pegging. So you're, you're, you're, you'd hit it. I hit it. I mean, hey, I'm not going to yuck anyone's arm. Okay. Had it or hit it glory holes. Um, honestly, I hit it. I'm not going to. Yeah. I'm not saying for me a glory. And let me just. So first off, let's go back to the pegging thing. Is that men of a prostate? And when the prostate is stimulated with a finger,

a toy, another penis, if you're with men, it can feel incredible when symptoms, like the male g spot. So that's what pegging is. And so I can understand that when you're reversing roles, some men are like, oh, I want to know what it feels like. So and the glory hole is became really popular like in the gay community, like our bath houses

where basically men stick their penis through a hole and in a wall. And then someone goes up and asks them or sucks them. And so really they can't see their face. Oh my gosh, I've never heard of such a thing. I have. I have a ton of gay friends. I'm going to save this. Is it still popular?

Oh yeah. Yeah. During the pandemic, it came back too. They did. I went to Aspen a few years ago for gay ski week with one of my gay friends. And so we had so much fun and I'm like totally like I want to be on your grinder. And I really appreciated the Frank talk around sex on this app. So of course I'm totally impersonating my friend.

I'm like, hey, where are you? It tells where the other person is, but they immediately get down to the nitty-gritty. Like how big are you, cut or uncut, are you a top, are you a bottom? That everything is pre-negotiated. Like a menu, you're ordering off of that. It's very transactional.

That each want something off of each other. It's very consensual. And it would be like, are is this gonna be a compatible hookup or is it not? And I was like, first I was kind of shocked. And then I was like, you know what? This is really fantastic. It's pretty efficient.

They're pre-arranging what they want. They both have a sexual need. They both have a sexual drive. They're negotiating the terms, figuring out if they're compatible. And then they would hook up. And then that would be the end of it. And I'm just like, you know, this is really actually

incredibly intelligent. Right. And efficient. Yes. Exactly. Well, this is what going back to the conversation earlier. How great if we get to that point, you know, with straight couples, too, that we could start to talk about sex. It doesn't have to be like a top or bottom cut, somebody a picture of your penis or a breast. We don't have to be like top or bottom cut, somebody a picture of your penis.

We don't have to do that stuff, but there's some version of that that would make our lives so much easier. I have something on my website called the Yes, No Maybe List. And it's a free guide that people can download at sexwithemley.com. And it has like 86 acts on it from like things like kissing, but it has anal and has 30 talk.

And it says, is it a yes? Is it a no or is it a maybe? And then it's like things like kissing but has anal and has dirty talk and says is it a yes? Is it a no or is it a maybe? And then it's like gives people a menu essentially so they can compare with their partner and be like, well, what are we both into? Let's start there. Right. Okay. Had it or hit it, male order brides. Oh God. I don't know about a painting on that. I mean, I probably probably probably probably had it. No, I have had it. I was thinking had it. No, you got to figure out who someone else. Yeah, figure out who someone is ahead of time. That's how you go back. That goes back to having sex for the first time on your wedding night. Exactly. That's the reason. Exactly. Exactly. I mean, imagine waiting your whole life and then the first time you

have it, you're like, are you fucking kidding me? Exactly. This is what all the fuss is about. Right. I mean, horrible. I'm sorry for people. This is what all the fuss is about. Right. I mean, horrible. Sometimes. Sometimes a lot of the foreplay and blow jobs and, you know, if these kids are doing anal versus vaginal, it's, there's a lot more work and process into that when they finally get to vaginal sex.

If that's the thing they waited for, that could feel rather disappointing because you're probably talking, it's going to be a two-pump chump. Two-pump chump. And then it's over, you know, because it works. Some people here, I didn't grow up with religion at all, but some kids here, like you know when you hear

a people that get married when they're 22 or 21, you immediately know their virgins and they're already fucking and they have to get married immediately to acquiesce to the religious stressors. And I'm just saying, we have a lot of international listeners that probably don't know this, but in the South where there's this mega church culture,

it is the shame with sex, with heterosexual sex, sex outside of marriage, gay sex is, I mean, they hammer that shit, like you would not believe. And I see it in my adult friends. And I see it in like pumps. And I see it in my adult friends. And I see it in like pumps. And I see it everywhere. I see it in some of my kids that my teenage sons

that have friends where these kids are just tortured by something that is so natural that we're hardwired to do. Okay, had it or hit it, Kegels. I hit it. Kegels are important. I agree. I have a floor. Yeah, we gotta to build the public floor. I agree.

I mean some people have pain if they do too many kegels and they've But for the many of us men and women kegels are an important part of our those are the muscles responsible for orgasm Strengthen them like you do your biceps of the gym, you know, do your kegels pump. She should start doing some right now How do you know I'm not? Okay, I had it or hit it, faking orgasms. I've had it. It's not a good message.

You're sending someone first off, they're thinking, look, it's a king of the world. Like, oh my god, everyone's orgasming. No, that's not good. No, you got to be real. Prioritize your pleasure. What do you think the percentage of women that have faked orgasms is?

I think it's very high. I think it's majority of women. I think nine out of 10 women have faked it. Yeah, I was going to tell you that I'm 99.9%. Totally. Yeah. I believe that. And I actually started my career. The first line in the book is essentially like I started I fake the orgasm so I was 35. I was like this is done. Like what? So you had had it. You had had it was 35. I was like, this is done. So you had had it. You had had it with that.

I had it. You launched the career like no more. I did. I did. I did. Faking of orgasms. Literally that about sex get out of the shame. I have fucking had it.

That's it. That was my platform. Like no one fake. Oh, like if I was running for office. I like it. I like it. I think your messaging is so important because there is an increase right now currently in 2023.

There seems to be an increase in sexual shaming both in the heterosexual community and in the homosexual community. Like in our state, they just made a total abortion ban, which is further shaming women and taking away their privacy. And so I think conversations like this need to be brought to the forefront because the problem is, is it's typically a fever pitch minority that does this, but they're screaming a so fever pitch,

but the majority of us, us, all of our listeners, all of your listeners, we were not wound up like a cheap clock. We're not just some handmade tellproods that are scared to get laid or scared to talk about orgasms. And I think the majority of us are that. So we need to make our voices heard. Absolutely. Thank you. I'm so glad you're saying all this. It's a good great reminder for all of us that that we really are in 2023. There's a lot going on. It's actually in America, where it is not voting well for women's pleasure and for women's rights. And that's right. Feeling going to the bedroom. So yeah, thank you. I this is we're definitely going backwards in 2023.

We are. Okay. Yeah. Had it or hit it. Pubic here. I hit it. So he like a fine. I'm fine with it too. Like we grew up all of us are 80s girls. Yeah, so we were John Von Jovy here, Ben. Exactly. I mean, there was a time that kiss had nothing on me downstairs. Most of the men that are our age like, cause now the kids, and we have a lot of really young listeners. I mean, it's a full blown and Brazilian.

There's no pubic care down there. Most men that I would say are 40 and over, they have this instinct like, oh no, a woman's got to have a little hair down there. You know, like it is very feminine, like turn on for them to think about a woman having, it doesn't have to be, you know, a full blown 1970s porn bitch, but a little landing strip or some form

of that this person has been through puberty. You know? Exactly. You know? Okay, that this person has been through puberty. Okay, that's has a game for you now. Okay. We have a game that we like to play. I'm sure you've played it before. Fuck Mary Kill. Okay. So we've got army hammer, Hugh Grant, Tiger Woods. Oh my god. Guys, it's too early. Wait, this is hard. Fuck Mary or Kill. Okay. Oh my God. You guys are too early to hear for that. Wait, this is hard. Fuck Mary or Kill. Okay.

Oh my God. I guess I'd marry Hugh Grant. Yeah, he did. I mean, he ever came his six scandal pretty well. He did. Wait, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess I would kill Army Hammer and I would fuck Tiger Woods.

Yeah, I think that's a good one. I think that is you. That's the exactly what I would have done. Five stars. Okay. One more. You're not off the hook. Not yet. Storm. Okay. Stormy Daniels, Pamela Anderson, or Queen Camilla. Okay. I would marry Pamela Anderson. I'm really into her.

You guys hear your book and are done. Yes. Yes. She's working on herself. She's done the work totally. I totally agree. And she's done on herself. She's done the work totally, totally great. And she's hotter than a biscuit. So I know what's going on with that.

Okay, so I would marry her. Wait, who's the other one to say to get me to? Stormy Daniels. Stormy Daniels, I guess I would kill her. And I, oh, God. Wait, what's the other one? Oh, no, no, I guess I would fuck her. I'd fuck her.

I'd fuck her. I think I was going to. Yeah, yeah, I'd fuck serve me. Yeah. This is you guys put a lot of thought into this. We're doing. Gotta have a sex scandal behind it. So you're going to kill queen. Queen. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not going down. Same answers here. Same. Exactly. Same answers here. They're very well-recent. Yeah. They're very well thought out. You get an A plus. We love having you on. This is, I think, such an important conversation and I commend you so much for normalizing this

and to all of our listeners who have grown up, having sexual shame, please find your way to Emily's podcast. She's been doing it a lot longer. Yes. Then we have. She was on the ground floor podcast. Yes, you are. Her book is fantastic. She sent us two copies and Pempsen, I have been studying it. I've been highlighted mine, Emily. She did. Yeah, I've got my highlighter out. Listen or go to sexwithemily.com and find out more because this woman is on to something. She's liberating all of us from the shame, so that we too can enjoy sex just like everybody else

and not be a nut about it. Right, like the Europeans. Like the Europeans. Yeah, right, exactly. I wanna have more pleasure, that's true. And also, yeah, the book is Smart Sex. You can buy it wherever you buy your books, buy podcasts to Sex with Emily,

which I do twice a week on all your podcast platforms and all socialists sex with Emily. Emily, you are dropped at gorgeous. Yes. Sharp is attack. We absolutely love you. Love having you on. Have a fantastic day. Thank you. You guys are fantastic. Thank you for having so much fun. Okay. Bye, bye, Emily. So I bet men are kind of intimidated because they have to. She's so good looking. Beautiful. I mean, completely sexually liberated. Totally. Not a drop of shame. Nope.

Not a drop of guilt. She is like, I am a woman. I have a clitoris. I have nerve endings. I have a vagina. I have tits. And I intend to enjoy them. Right.

This is zero guilt, zero judgment. And I love this because listener, I'm serious, where we live in the whole Southern states. There is so much shame put around sex. We need to all change that form of indoctrination when you're indoctrinating your children, that feeling sexual pleasure is dirty

because the damage from that is lifelong and it's massive. Yeah, I just think the, I can't wait to take the quiz or whatever her recommendations, the 80 sexual positions. I don't think I could think of 80. Like I would bet you out of the 80 that she has on her website, I could probably only identify what they were about five. Well, you're sexually anorexic, so it sounds like the only thing you could do is put Dildo on

Clit is maybe the only thing you might recognize. Okay, but how many do you think you could recognize? I mean, I haven't lived under a rock. I'm sure that you think you could go, I bet you couldn't go more than 10. For sure, I could go more than 10. You think? Okay, we're gonna test that. Yeah, but I wasn't raised with all this religious shame.

I mean, sexual shame, I do. But do you keep up with all the crazy stuff that kids are doing now? Pumps. I didn't know what I keep up with all the crazy stuff that kids are doing now? Pumps. I didn't know what, I hate to bring adults or having sex too. No, no, no, I know, but I didn't know what pegging was. I didn't know what a glory hole is.

So I think I'm probably way on the Puritan list. I think so. I had it. I fucking had it. Listen to that. Send us a voice memo on our Instagram to be featured on our Thursday bonus episodes. Sometimes we surprise you and we roll those in on Tuesday. We think they're particularly funny. Just to

see if you're paying attention. Yeah, yeah we do. And you need to go give us five stars, write reviews, subscribe, all that stuff. We will see you next Tuesday or Thursday. Or Thursday, Tuesday or Thursday. Or both. I think it's not or both. It is both. Yeah, Okay. Bye, Lister. Pick up that class of Pina Grigio, your drink of choice and come have some fun with us on Turtle time. We're gonna do more than just drink and party on this podcast mom. I know. I know. Okay, if you don't know who I am, well, I'll remain a singer, and that's my daughter, Avery. And you probably know us best

from the Real Housewives of New York. And now you'll get to know us even better on our podcast, Turtle Time. Let's make more iconic moments together every Wednesday. It's Turtle Time. Follow Ray and review now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. time. Follow Ray and review now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.