I've Had It - Survival of the Dumbest

Episode Date: February 29, 2024

Hey Patriots! Today, Jennifer and Pumps share their petty grievances and listen to a hilarious line-up of voice memos. From birth plans to nut sacks on trucks you all have had it with everything. The girls also discuss doomsday preppers and how they would rather die in the apocalypse than survive with all of them.NEW MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE at https://ivehadit.store Come see I've Had It live on the Hot Sh*t Tour! More info & tickets available at https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast and subscribe to I've Had It wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you to our sponsors: Shopify: Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/hadit now to grow your business – no matter what stage you’re in. Happy Mammoth: Listener, you can get your first bottle of Hormone Harmony for 15% OFF if you use the code HADIT on the checkout page. Go to HappyMammoth.com and enter the promo code HADIT on the checkout page. Stitch Fix: Style that makes you feel as good as you look — get started today at Stitchfix.com/HADIT Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

So we supposed to start the podcast. Ready? One, two, three. That was a terrible class. Those of you on YouTube will be able to see her facial expression after she delivered that. Pumps are so cute. I just, I'm disappointed. Even when you're disappointed in yourself, me, ma, you're still cute.

Okay. Listen up listener. You may notice that pumps has on a shirt that says mother with the, um, pride rainbow coloring on it. Me, ma is modeling this today because at our merch store, there's no question I am. At our merch store, we have new merch. I know, and it's really cute.

What's the website address? Our new website and our merch is at ivehadit.store. I've had it.store. Lots of cute stuff. I've had it.store. And again, for the permanent record, the mother pride shirt is being modeled by me, Ma, today. Okay, all right.

Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with, and we've talked about the baby on board and the stick figures, but the bumper stickers have gotten out of control. Yeah. It's fucking ridiculous and I fucking had it. Yeah.

So I'm at Trader Joe's the other day and someone has on their back windshield, I mean, not just a bumper sticker, she went even bigger and it said, mom of three bad asses. Ha ha ha ha. Mom of three bad asses? Yes. How large was the font, each letter? Like what are we talking?

How many? Six inches? Easily. Mom of three bad asses. It took over the whole back windshield of like a Chevy Tahoe. And I'm just like, what kind of pussies and assholes are her kids that she's running around describing her children

as badasses? See, you know, here's the thing. I think parental bragging is such a red flag. Huge. You know, it is this whole that their kids are superior to other kids and it's this constant bragging by the helicopter power mom culture. And here's the thing and I'm just going to point this out. There's some shit going on with this mother and these kids. If that's on the back of her car, because typically overt advertisements like that are to mask profound dysfunction. Well, immediately when I saw it,

I thought her kids are probably bullies. They are probably disrespectful. I mean, just anybody who forgot one, they're probably pussies. Pussies, because if she's saying they're badasses. Means they're pussies. They probably are titty baby, bootle baby criers when they don't get their way at school

and then she probably goes up and she was everybody out of the school for not accommodating her quote unquote badasses. I mean, who would put that on there? Who would call their kid a bad ass? That's what I'm saying. Like I hear people say, you know, my kids really kind or sweet or good at sports, but I have never

in all of my Mima years heard of my kid. I'm the mom of three badasses. It's just the, it's gross, the parent culture that where there is the over bragging about their kids, it's too much. Nobody cares. And to put six inch sized font on your back windshield is a level of, I'm just going to go ahead and say it. I think it's narcissism and I think it's somewhat abusive.

I think it's hysteria. It's hysteria. It's hysteria and it's like, how is that even remotely healthy for your kids? I mean, it's toxic. Well, who thought it was a good idea in the first place? You know, I mean, if I walked in somewhere and I had a shirt on that said, proud mom of two badasses, Dylan and Roman would just be like, what is wrong with you?

Right, get that off immediately. What is wrong with you? Like seriously. And I know we've talked about this before, and I know that this is not gonna be the most popular opinion, but I'm gonna go ahead and say it. If your kid's an honor student,

don't put the sticker on your car if you had it. Because guess what? Nobody on planet Earth gives a flying fuck if your kid is an honor student, except you. You know what it does, it promotes road rage. It keeps drivers less safe and promotes road rage. Because I'm gonna say, when I see this stuff, I'm somewhat irritated.

I'm just like, what the fuck? It's toxic, bragging about your kids. Nobody gives a shit. There are some exceptions. If your kid's that little climate activist, Greta, Oh, absolutely. Go ahead and brag. Absolutely.

If your kid is- Amanda Gorman, the poet. 100%, I'm super proud of her. I'm super proud of her. And Coco Goff. 100%. You know, I say to my kids all the time when we're watching tennis and I see like Carlos Alcaraz

or Coco Goff that's like 18 years old and winning Grand Slam. I say, see kids, look at what they're doing with their life. What are you doing with your life? What are you doing? And my kids roll their eyes and walk off for me. Right. But I'm dead serious. I'm like, what are y'all doing with your lives? Right, you know, it's just a lot of, it's just a lot of grandstanding for no fucking reason. And I think a lot of this keeps society at large, especially the roadways less safe. Right, it just perpetuates stupidity. Exactly what it does.

Congratulations Debbie, you bred, you had a kid that did the higher end of average on things, shut the fuck up. All right, we have had it. Had it. It's just not that unique. When your kid goes out and does something outstanding and spectacular, we'll book her on the pod.

Until then, shut the fuck up and get all the stickers off your car and had it. Okay, let me tell you what I've had it with. What's that? I've had it with. What's that? I've had it with thinking about what to eat or trying to decide where to eat. Oh, I hate it. I know it's a first world problem,

but it really is a problem in our family. It's just a constant and it happens, you know, we constantly, it's like going to the bathroom, you have to do it and you get tired of doing it. Right. And then the food thing comes up. You and I go to lunch four or five times a week and we have like three or four restaurants in rotation. And it's like, it's just what are we gonna eat? And then if you're with your family, then there's a lot of deliberations always.

There's a lot of conflict conflicting taste buds. There's just always this Roman wants a burger. I don't really want a burger because then I'm going to feel heavy before I go to bed. Like, you know, a heavy feeling in my stomach. Josh, you know, depending on where he is in his man cycle, we have to go through either he's starving and he needs protein or he is on a diet and he food is not important to him. Right. So it's like everybody has these overtly strong opinions about food. And I'm like, you know what, I could do whatever. I'll just make a grilled cheese at home. It's no big deal.

I'm tired of talking about it. I'm tired of arguing with people about it. I'm kind of tired of sharing meals in general. I agree. I just want to eat alone in solitude. And it's constant. It's day after day after day after day. And I've had it. No, I agree. I'm a simple eater. I'll eat anything. And you don't eat at the same places because we don't have to decide. No, and I'm just, I don't put like this big, I don't fantasize about having like this particular type of meal. It's like,

we're going to this restaurant, regardless of what restaurant it is, I will find something on the menu. It might not be great, I'll eat it and I'll shut the fuck up about it. I'm just not going to, just tired of all the food issues, the restaurant issues. I'm just sick of it. Had it.

Had it with it. Welcome to I've Had It. This is a podcast about positivity and not celebrating honor students. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She's the star of our show and she is the United States of America's Memaul,

the most beloved grandmother in all of podcasting. Kylie. Hi. Kylie, do you and Anna have issues with food? We do. She can't pick anywhere. I'll say, what do you want? She can't food? We do. She can't pick anywhere. I'll say, what do you want? She can't think of a thing.

She can't decide. I figured out a hack to get around it. So I'll say, guess where we're going? And she's like, oh, this Chinese restaurant. I'm like, yes. Oh, that's smart. I get her to spin out. So consciously what she wants.

That's really smart. Yeah. That's the bait and switch, Kylie. I like it. I learnedait and switch, Kylie. I like it. I learned that on TikTok, actually. Oh, you do? I did.

TikTok has been a wealth of information for the youth. It really is. Wealth of information and disinformation, both, I should say. I would be remiss if I didn't include misinformation. All right, well, Kylie, do we have any, what do people say about us on the World Wide Web? Well, if you recall how bad pumps started the show today, I have a comment pertaining to the clap. The failed clap. The failed clap. We have a listener on YouTube

who comments this often. Okay. This first one was two days ago and it says, the clap is demeaning. Is she your dog or a really dumb blonde? Okay. She had previously already commented this. Here's her. Here's the second comment. The clap is silly. Get rid of it. You are not dumb blonde, are you? One, two, three clap. Is she your dog doing a trick? It's demeaning. I'm going to let pumps because, you know, nobody's the boss of pumps, but pumps. And this is, this is her clap. And I'm going to let you defend your clap because this is, you need to defend it. Well, I just really, I like starting the show with the clap. It's a definite start. Let me ask you this is anybody forcing you to do the clap No one's forcing me to do the clap

I think even it was my idea to do the clap it what it in fact was I thought it would be a great way to start off Get us in the mood. It was it was a creative leadership for me. Maus. What that was The fact that half the time I can't do it just makes it more, I strive more about it, I think more about it, I want it more. The more I fuck it up, the more I want it. So I appreciate our input. I had never thought about it being demeaning or a trick,

but I'm gonna stick with it being demeaning or a trick, but I'm going to stick with it because sometimes I'm grayed out at sometimes I'm bad makes me strive to do better. You know what's amazing is that some people are such micro managers on the internet that now they're perceiving clapping as demeaning a grown grandmother that chooses to clap on her own volition. Right. Somebody now it's like it's demeaning the micro managing of what other people do online if you have an opinion. I like your podcast better when you don't express your opinion. Oh, okay. How do you navigate the internet? Right. How do you

navigate social media? Cause it's all opinions. And I don't feel like she's giving any credit to the fact that I am clapping over these humongous boobs, the sagging dragon. I mean, it is harder than you think. Right. I mean, just from the angles and stuff,

it's kind of an accomplishment every time it works. I feel good about that. Good. So I want a little crud it for, I'm just keeping it going. I like it. I'm proud of you. I get tickled by it,

but I want you to know for the permanent record, should you ever not want to do the clap anymore? I'll just say, I'm not doing it. It's demeaning. It's demeaning. It's demeaning. I'm not your dog doing a trick. I'm not your dog doing a trick and it's demeaning. And so instead I'm going

to do a jig to start the show. Alright. Break dance. That's hilarious though that out of all the stuff that we say that the most innocuous thing is the most demeaning to her out of all the fucking garbage that we have expressed. That's what gets her. That's what sits in our craw. It's eating her alive. It is. I mean, how many, were four comments deep on that? Yeah.

That's great. And it was just about the same one every time. Yeah. Yeah, but she's consistent. That's true. I mean, you know, she's consistent. She doesn't like it. She doesn't like it.

She keeps talking about it. Okay, I've got another hate comment. Okay. On YouTube. And they write, this is by far the most horrible, boring, cringe podcast I've ever laid my eyes on. Jesus. Then they comment again. They respond to themselves. Okay. Oh, good. What the fuck are they even talking about? A toast and people joining along with them? Like bruh, what kind of gay podcast is this? Oh.

Oh. I mean, you know what they were right about the gay podcast. That's right. Yeah. Proud. Proudly gay. Mothers wearing her gay pride mother. Sorry.

Mother. We need a rainbow Mimo shirt. We do need a rainbow Mimo. Oh, I hope it's not too late for that to get printed. Okay. Listener, we love to hear from you. So let's hear some voice memos. Kylie, have you selected some voice memos?

I have. And for those of you that want to join us for our after show, please sign up for Patreon. Click devoted follower or fully enlightened and you can get on your Patreon every single post show wherein we play more voice memos than what you hear on the episode. more voice memos than what you hear on the episode. Do you suffer from having a parasocial relationship with two barely competent middle-aged women? If so, please go to ivehatatpodcast.com or to any social media site I'm talking ex,

formerly Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, et cetera, and click the link in bio. And come see us at the Hot Shit Tour. Make your parasocial relationship real at the Hot Shit Tour. Right, Pumps? Tell them. It's so fun. We hope to see you there. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Pumps, you know that hormonal imbalance feeling where you feel like your body doesn't belong to you and you're like a ticking time bomb? Yes, like you're observing your life from upstairs. Well, thankfully, our friends at Happy Mammoth have the most amazing product, which I know you and I have both really seen the benefits from taking. It's called hormone harmony. Hormone harmony relieves PMS symptoms, helps reduce cravings and irritability before your period, and it helps to keep your skin nice and clear. It relieves mood swings and boosts energy. It even can help reduce occasional bloating and gas. I love hormone

harmony because I feel I get a better, more restful sleep when I take it. You know, hormone harmony sells one bottle every 24 seconds. It's good stuff. That's how good this product is. Listener, you can get your first bottle of hormone harmony for 15% off if you use code HADDIT on the checkout page. Go to happymameth.com and enter the promo code HADDIT on the checkout page, go to happymammoth.com and enter the promo

code HADDIT on the checkout page. All right, up first, we've got Jillian C. Okay. Hi, Jennifer and Pums. This is Jillian from Ohio. I have had it with people photoshopping dead people into their wedding photos. Now forgive me if I am being insensitive, but why and why is it always so bad? It's like poorly done by themselves on one of their iPhone

apps and not like professionally done by a photographer who has editing skills. I've had it with that. And also this really ties into my last I've had it that I sent you. I realized after listening back to it about tagging dead people in Facebook posts that they won't see. So there's a theme there. Maybe I should go to therapy.

Thank you all for your podcast. I love it. Maybe I should go to therapy. Got a dead person thing. Jillian, I don't think you need to go to therapy. And I, here's the thing. I've just got to say about tagging, I mean, not tagging, about photoshopping a dead person in your wedding photo is weird.

It's fucking weird. But I further want to say that if marriage had a 95% success rate or higher, I would say that marriage was a fantastic accomplishment. I think the success rate of marriage is now below 50%. So basically every faking asshole gets married and Right. And more than half fail. Right. At the marriage. So I think we're putting too much emphasis on a failed institution.

Couldn't agree more. And then adding a dead person via Photoshop to your wedding photo isn't anything other than a pitiful project. It doesn't mean anything. No, and I'm wondering like, if you're so intent on adding a dead person to one of your photos, let somebody professionally do it,

because it's gonna be obvious, they're dead, everybody who went to the wedding knows they're dead, but I mean, just having him in the wedding party like they've been there the whole time, that's just fucked up. I was just gonna say for the permanent record, I don't want any Photoshop dead people in my photographs because I like to live in reality.

And if the reality when the photograph was taken was that that person wasn't alive, I don't want to be a part of revisionist history. Right. Whoever was dead when I got married was dead then, they're dead now, photograph doesn't change that. Death is a horrible thing, grief is horrible and Photoshopping somebody in the wedding,

it doesn't make anybody undead and I think it's creepy and I think it's weird. If I see this, I'm going to unfriend that person. Immediately. Both on social media and in real life. I think it's a red flag. And I think it's a service to just show people, I'm crazy. I engage in revisionist history. I like to Photoshop dead people in places where they weren't.

And I want it noted this, when I'm dead, don't Photoshop me at a wedding. No, I didn't have the choice, don't make that choice upon my death to send me to a wedding, because more than likely I would have regretted going. That's what I was gonna say. I mean, it's hard enough to go in real life. Certainly I don't wanna do it from the grave.

Exactly. All right, Kylie, who's next? All right, up next we've got Miko. Hi, Jennifer and Pumps. This is Miko from London. And before you ask why I don't sound like Mary Poppins, I'm originally from Texas. But anyway, what I have had it with

is TV sports interviews with the loser. What a fucking waste of time. They all say the exact same thing. Oh, well, you know, it didn't quite go as planned. No shit, you lost. Nowhere else in life does this ever happen. I mean, you don't go to school and the teacher says, hey, Amelia, you failed that math test.

Why don't you come up to the front and tell everybody what went wrong? Or I can't imagine going someplace like a church. And the preacher says, Edward, your marriage is failing. Why don't you come up and tell everybody what went wrong. Or I can't imagine going someplace like a church and the preacher says, Edward, your marriage is failing. Why don't you come up and tell everybody why your wife's cheating on you? It's just stupid. It's so pointless and I've had it.

Okay, Miko, you bring up a great point. Great point. I do not attend church. However, if the preacher or pastor said, Hey, get up here and tell me why your marriage is failing. I might attend just for that. Right. That would be juicy. I might attend just for that tea. That'd be the best part of the whole thing.

You watch a lot of sports. What do you think about the interview? That's what I was going to say. She's 100% right on your interviewing the loser. They all say the same thing. They're miserable. It's probably like a very bad time for them emotionally. So it's like, why are you interviewing them and like rubbing salt in a way? The only time it's kind of fun, the only time I've ever seen it that it's good is NBA players because they'll just fucking go off and they don't care. They'll just remount the other side, remount the refs, like they'll just get down and dirty. So I like that, but typically,

anytime somebody loses, they're pretty proficient at, you know, this is why we lost, I feel bad, I made mistakes, you know, self-deprecation, all that. I mean, obviously I've had media training, but I do love it when those NBA players just go, that guy fucking fouled me the whole time. That roughs a piece of shit. My coach sucks.

I dig that. The NBA is just, in my opinion, one of the best sporting organizations in the world. They treat their players well. Right, and they let them be who they are. The players have a level of swag. I think it's like peak black culture. When you go to NBA games, it's just amazing.

The league like stood by the players during Black Lives Matter. And I just, I like Adam Silver. I like the NBA. I like the Oklahoma City Thunder. I like NBA players side note. I think they're pretty hot. They are pretty hot.

I'll tell you what, the tennis players though have the corner on hot players. There's no question that that is the sport that I love the most. And I will say like if one of my favorite players is beaten and they have to give a speech as much as I hate it for them, I still want to hear what they have to say. So part of the problem and had it. Yeah, yeah, exactly. All right, up next, we've got Maddie. Hey, you guys, I love your show. And I just wanted to share my I've had it with you guys. So I fucking had it with people who just think it's acceptable

to suck on their fingers after eating something in public. Like, usually it's a bag of chips or, you know, a bakery item or some shit. But hell, I've seen people do this after eating with a DM fucking fork, eating that two day old leftover spaghetti in the fucking break room. I mean, that shit is nasty.

And the noise it makes when they suck on each one, and then I never see these people wash their hands ever. What the fuck is up with that? It makes me sick to my fucking stomach. Anyways, I really thought that I needed to just share this with you guys. I just can't handle it anymore, and I don't know who else to talk to.

Maddie, the finger slurping is it is disgusting. It especially when you're out in public with other people and they start slurping their fingers. I also hate like people that make a lot of head noises like big inhale snot, and you can hear the snot rattling around, and it just, I always just am like, stop it, stop it, I can't take it. Yeah, the worst defender is those nacho cheese flavored

Doritos, I've seen people suck that dust. Or a Cheeto. Or a Cheeto. The Cheetos. And she's so right about the hand washing, it's like I've never seen any of these people wash their hands that are just sucking. And you know, like, we're strangers.

I don't need to be somewhere like in a department store and you're sucking your fingers because then you touch shit. It's gross. People are eating Cheetos at the department store? I've seen it before, well, at the mall. It's been at the mall, like walking and then they're like, and it does make the grossest noise. She's so at the mall. It's been at the mall, like walking and then they're like, and it does make the grossest noise.

She's so right about that. Yeah, I don't like it and I don't like big snot pushers. It grosses me out. I don't like any sounds. It's disgusting. And it's like, I don't know. It's like there's a lack of awareness. Both, I always just kind of like cringe inside.

Like I tighten my abdominal muscles. It makes you uncomfortable. Yeah. It's just a very uncomfortable feeling. All right, up next we've got Danielle L. So you guys have had it with the baby on board stickers. Here's what I've had it with. I fucking had it with men who are overcompensating

for their micro penises by doing everything they possibly can to make their pickup trucks look super hyper masculine. And here's what I'm talking about. Fucking truck nuts, I've ever seen those things. Literal ball sacks you can attach to the hitch of a pickup truck or Like the guy in my neighborhood who drives around with instead of a stick figure family Decal on the back of his truck. He has literal guns lined up that says you have your family and I have mine

So We've got our stick figure families while he is holding his numerous guns tight at night. Fucking had it with these losers. She's so right. She's so right. The bigger the truck, the smaller the penis. I mean, it's just undefeated. The big truck with the ball sack. Oh, it ball sack, little ball sacks hanging from them.

I just, I wonder what the psychology and the entire process of all of that is. Like who thought, you know what I'm going to put on a hitch of my pickup today? A ball sack. Testicles. That's what we're going to put that on my truck and I'm going to drive around town and get out and get in and look people. I just, I don't understand it. And then the gun, the sticker gun family, like the gun culture is so weird to me. It's, it's, it's an overcompensation again. The gun nuts are just, it's wild. How, like these are the doomsday preppers. 100%. They somehow think they're gonna take on the federal government.

Right. They, their ass in nose out, ball hanging truck drivers. And I'm not talking about semi-truck drivers. Right. I'm talking about the, you know, Joe Boy with the big belt buckle and no disrespect to cowboys,

but if this were a population of people that seem to be empathetic and think outside of their color, their ethnicity, I might be more prone to have an affection towards them, but the majority of people that I see in this community, and we live around it in Oklahoma, are all racist homophobes. Always.

They are. I mean, they're just racist, homophobic Christian. We're Christian. With tiny, teeny, weeny, peenies. They are. They are. They are. I have such an aversion to this community because most of them that I've met are overt Trumpers, right, engage in religious theater

that when I hear country songs, I kind of cringe. Like now kind of when I see the American flag on somebody's shirt, I kind of cringe. I'm like, Oh God, they're probably gun toting. Trumper where it used to be cool. Like Ralph Lauren had the design with the American flag on it. And I think we have a super cool flag, like it's red and white striped and it has the 50 stars. It's like a very aesthetically pleasing, unique flag. They've stained it. Yes. And I, I really dislike that. And you know what else?

I fucking had it with this, had it up to my eyeballs. Yes, and I really dislike that. You know what else? I fucking had it with this. Had it up to my eyeballs. Hey, Patriot. That's always a red flag for me. When somebody says Patriot, I know immediately. The fuck up. They're a maga prepper, for sure. Civil war monger.

It's just, shut up with calling each other Patriots when y'all fucking attempted a coup d'etat. You cannot both be pro-American and anti-democracy. I wanna go dry hump Donald Trump, crash in the Capitol. You fucking freak show, nut jobs, I've had it, take their guns, ban assault weapons immediately. Immediately. Congress act and all of you fucking psychos that run around

saying how pro-life you are, you are lying liars cause you don't give a fuck about kids dying in schools. So go fuck yourself and take your faux religion and your truck with your ball sacks and get the fuck out. Had it. Had it. You ate and left no crumbs.

I did. That's right. She ate and left no crumbs. Had it with those people. Had it. You brought up do no crumbs. I did. That's right. She ate and left no crumbs. Had it with those people. Had it. You brought up doomsday preppers. Yeah. We've never talked about that.

Every doomsday prepper I've ever seen is like one red bull away from having a heart attack. And they think they're gonna survive. Right. And also like when a civil war if it happens. Right, and that they're so uniquely prepared to take the cause to the others and rule a nation. I'm like, you all are not smart enough

to alphabetize library books. So if the fate of the world is dependent on you and your logic and your intellect, we're all fucked. You and your two teeth. You and your two teeth. You and your two teeth. Well, but have you heard about these billionaire bunkers? No. Oh no. Okay, so there's like billionaires

that have made these like bunkers where like if there's a, you know, a nuclear war or whatever. My thing is, do you wanna live? That's what I think. If it's the end of the world and it's nuclear and all that, I'm ready to go. Please kill me.

Just, I mean, I don't wanna have to. Because here's the problem with it, okay? Here is the fundamental problem with doomsday prepping. Let's say that it was a for sure, if you were a doomsday prepper, you were gonna survive. You're surviving with the other preppers. It's like going to heaven. Do you wanna be with all those judgmental Bible thumpers?

Fuck no. Do you wanna live on earth with all those fucking Psycho, Red Bull, AR-15, Toten, truck driving sackball people? No, either way, neither one of those hell is far more attractive than heaven, simply by the people that I've had to live around in the city of Oklahoma City. I don't want to be with those people in the afterlife for the permanent record. I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm just like, y'all are the biggest walking advertisement

for number one against doomsday prepping because I don't want to survive with you. Right. And for heaven, because I don't want to be for eternity with you as well. With your judgment alas. Right. Yeah. And let's just face it, I can't even go camping.

There's no way I could survive in the post. I mean, the billionaire bunker does sound kind of appealing. You could have a mention of DVDs, you know, or a lot of digitally recorded whatever whatever the kids do these days, they wouldn't be able to stream. So then maybe you'd kick it around there for a while. But then, I mean, it's just like, what's-

But then if you come out of your bunker, you're around all the fucking psycho preppers. Right, so it's just like- And nobody wants to be around those people. No. That's why they all hang out with each other and call each other patriots. Ha ha ha.

It's a red flag. Up next we've got Danielle C. Hi ladies. I have had it with people who put thank you in advance at the bottom of their emails. Your presumption that I'm going to drop what I'm doing to do whatever bullshit thing you're asking me to do is pretty much a guarantee that your email is going to the bottom of the pile. Yeah. In fact, don't be surprised if you get a response that says, got your email.

And I just like to say, fuck you in advance. Thanks ladies. Love the pod. I think she's right. That's great. The thank you in advance is also like passive aggressive, aggressive. Agree. And sometimes I do it on purpose. I'll admit when I'm if you're doing it to intentionally be a bitch I support it. Right

that's when I do it. If you're doing it to be like a hall monitor, uh sanctimonious type situation I oppose it. But oftentimes when I see that like thank you in advance for addressing this matter. I'm like how do you even know I'm gonna address it? Right it makes me not want to address it. But oftentimes when I see that, like thank you in advance for addressing this matter. I'm like, how do you even know I'm gonna address it? Right, it makes me not wanna address it. I'm with her. You go to the bottom of the email stack. That task that you wanted me to do goes to the bottom of the task list.

Fuck you in advance, Patriots. And guess what? Fuck you in advance, Patriots. I don't want to live if living means living with your ass. Right, like I'll pass. I don't want to. It'd be worse, it'd be better to die. Than have to live around all those fucking MAGA people.

Like if it's just, let's applaud of people and you come out of your bunker and it's only you and all the MAGA people, I mean, I would just have to like. Okay, here's one thing that we have to discuss. I've never met like a doomsday prepper or seen one in a documentary that appears to be physically fit. That's what I'm dealing with. I mean, they're not, you all the ones you see

are not going to survive anything. And so I think that it makes sense that these people did not study Charles Darwin, which as we all know is survival of the fittest. And what Darwin was talking about was not having a walkie-talkie and an AR-15, he's talking about, you know, genetically able to survive in conditions on the planet. And so, yeah, the Doomsday Preppers, I've really had it with them.

We could do a deep dive on that. We should get some pictures. Thank you in advance for doing an episode on Doomsday Preppers. Patriot. Welcome, Patriots. Okay, listen up. Listen up, Patriots.

Go leave us a five star review and go check out our merch that our beautiful Mima mother is modeling for us. Pumps, I could not help but notice your outfits of late are Uber pulled together and you look like a million bucks. What on earth is going on? I have my very own stylist with Stitch Fix. They send me outfits every month that they think that I'll like and that will look good on my body.

Funny, you should say that because I too have a stylist at Stitch Fix. My stylist helps take my wardrobe to the next level, Pumps. She knows what works for me, sometimes even better than I know myself. She helps me discover new things about my style. It's like my stylish best friend is shopping with me. You know what else I like about Stitch Fix Pumps? What? It works within your budget.

And that is always key. Listener, you need to check out Stitch Fix. It is style that makes you feel as good as you look. Get started today at stitchfix.com slash had it. That's stitchfix.com slash had it. And one last time, that is stitchfix.com slash had it. Perhaps I don't know where we would be in life without Shopify. It is the absolute easiest thing to do when you're trying to sell merch.

There's no way we could have ever launched a merch line had it not been for Shopify and how easy they make it for sellers and buyers. Exactly, when we first started podcasting, the idea of having an online store was so far from our minds and so outside of our skill set to even start it. Thankfully, we were immediately referred to Shopify and it is so user friendly no matter what size your business is.

If you find yourself with Shopify, you're headed straight for success. Listener, sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash had it all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash had it now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. That's Shopify.com slash had it. Kylie, do we have anything else? Up next, we've got Delina. I have had it with people asking me what my birth plan is. I'm sorry, is the birth plan not to just have the baby?

Like, why do people think I need a playlist and certain positions I want to know? Fuck that. When you are in labor, all you want is the baby out. And whatever you tell me is the best way to get that baby out. That's what I'm doing. So I've just had it. I've had it with all these women and their dumb ass birth plans and I'm just, I'm over it.

I was in a birthing class for my first child. I went to the class and somebody walked in with a notebook binder full of their quote unquote birth plan. And I just thought my birth plan is to get this baby out with the least amount of pain possible. That's it. That's the list. I'm going to listen to the medical professionals. I don't need to make 47 documents related to a birth plan. When there's medical

professionals to help me do it. Yeah. My birth plan was this. I scheduled the birth with my OBGYN because I opposed going into labor naturally because I didn't want to feel that. So I would like the epidural first. Absolutely, get the epidural first. So I had my epidural, then we induced labor, then I had the kid. That was the plan. That was the plan. And then I had my epidural, and I had my epidural,

and I had my epidural, and I had my epidural, and I had my epidural, and I had my epidural, and I had my epidural, and I had my epidural, So I had my epidural, then we induced labor, then I had the kid. That was the plan. That was the plan.

And why, first of all, I had no playlist. No. I had no other plan other than to reduce pain as much as possible and have medical doctors take this baby out of my body. Get the baby out. And it's really nobody's business. And if I ever asked the question,

which I don't think I would, what's your birth plan? I would think, I don't give a fuck what the birth plan is. So are these people, are they genuinely interested in the birth plan? Or are they just trying to make conversation? Because to me that sounds like a ridiculous question. Is that a new thing? No, the birth plan, it was in my, it's 23 years ago,

almost 24, people were bringing the birth plan, it was in my, it's 23 years ago, almost 24. People were bringing the birth plan notebooks. But even asking about it? Like I didn't have it written down anywhere. I just went to the doctor up until the point, she said, okay, so do you want to go in labor naturally? Do you want to go ahead and pick a date to induce? And I was like, I can pick. She said, yeah. So that was like a week before had him, both of them. I'm looking at a template for your birth plan right now. Yeah, what is it?

It is insane, all the things you can select. You select for labor. Check, I would like to be able to move around as I wish. I would like to be able to drink fluids during labor. Would you like a birthing ball, a birthing stool, a birthing chair, a squat bar? Who do you want in the room? What kind of anesthesia?

How would you like to deliver if it's vaginal? Would you like to use a mirror to see the baby's birth? No. It goes on and on and on. I think that's just get in, have the baby move on down the road. People are trying to act like it's a new thing, like they're the first people that ever invented having a child. It's just not that, it's just not that, it's just not that, it's just like get it out of your body, full stop. Yeah, you know, I just, these people are the people

that end up with bumper stickers. Let's say badass. My three badasses are honor students, AKA the biggest pussies on the planet, on the planet are my kids. Yeah, that's what, you know, that's badass. If you're saying that, then everybody knows your kids are pussies. Right. And then your badass birth plan means that you're a fucking pussy.

You're gonna have fucking pussies. It's just, it's shut up. All right. Well, Patriots, thank you for joining us for today's Uber Uplifting right episode. I sure enjoyed it. I did. I had fun. Give us five stars Patriots. You can even throw in an American flag emoji and go to our store and buy a Meemaw Mother shirt and come see us on the hot shit tour. Super fun. Join Patreon. If you join Patreon, your voice memos go directly to Kylie's ears

and not in the abyss that is the Instagram DMs. You get your preferred, your preferred cult member. Anyway, that's all we have, Pumps. Tell them we will see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that.