I've Had It - That's Some Jeffrey Dahmer Shit

Episode Date: April 13, 2023

Jennifer and Pumps get to hear what you all have absolutely HAD IT with. From rejecting modern medicine by popping out babies in the bathtub to getting dicked over in a drive thru pay-it-forward train, the girls couldn't agree more. Kiley also poses a question that sends Jen and Pumps into a conversation on modern day cannibalism.... Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

So we supposed to start the podcast. Well, Pumps, how are you today? I'm good. How are you, Miss Welch? I'm fantastic. I had a pickleball lesson at 7 a.m. this morning. Outstanding. I did so fucking well at my pickleball lesson. My instructor was so impressed with me.

Antonio Vendera's. Antonio. He was amazing. I was phenomenal. And I have a pickleball match later this afternoon where I plan on rolling out all these new tricks. Right. Just wax the competition.

I mean, I cannot wait. They have no idea what they're getting ready to get in for. That's right. I cannot wait. You know, we have this shot where I'll hit a ball. And if it kind of hits the other girl in her vaginal area, you know, what I call that shot, a crotch shot, a twat shot. We do have twat. We're trying to work in in our conversation more. The twat shot, the twat shot. I like it. The twat shot. It's a good, it's a good, it's a good shot. I like it. It's a great shot. Really throws your opponent off, hitting them right in the twat.

Yeah, I think that would do it. Well, here's the deal. Today is one of our favorite days where we hear from our listener and we are so excited to hear from our listeners about what they've had it with because there are so many things in the world That are so insufferable and annoying. Yes, and we need to know what is going on in the lives of our listener because we hear it I've had it podcast Care about our listeners petty grievances. Absolutely. Kylie. Who's our first contestant? First we've got Emily G. Absolutely. Kylie, who's our first contestant? First, we've got Emily G. Okay. I have had it with women having home births. Take your ass to the hospital. Get out of that pool. Take your ass to the emergency room and have your ass a birth in the hospital.

Get that epidural, girl. Girl, you are not making major moves by having a baby in a pool. I have had it with home births. I could not agree more. There's just nothing grosser than the thought of giving birth in a pool. Because then all that stuff that comes out

is then on your skin. Why would anybody not want an epidural? I know people think it like makes them like, oh, I give natural childbirth. Okay, good for you. I did the drags. It was great. It was easy. Hold on. If you do a home birth, do you have it in a pool or is the pool optional? I'm, what's going on with the pool? I think people have babies in like the bathtub at home, because it's like, you give birth and they're in a warm water area. Then you, so it's supposed to be easier on the child enough.

Yeah. I don't want to hear. I don't, but all that gunk comes out. I don't want to, I do not, I hate labor and delivery war stories. And I don't give a shit if somebody, I don't want to hear about anybody's epidural and I sure as fuck don't want to hear

about anybody's home birth delivery and why somebody would want to be a hero in the days of modern medicine. It does not, it's not gonna make you a better mother to decline an epidural in a hospital. I don't understand. Like I would, it's not even an option. No, I would never even cross my mind

that that was an option, the home birthday. I don't know, you know, there's always like, you know, there's always these people that it's like a skirting in a way. They're kind of trying to skirt the system like we have evolved as a species to where we have better things. Like now we have electricity.

Right. You know, and 150 years ago they didn't have it. And I like it. Right. And I like air conditioning. I'm not gonna be like, you know, it's August and it's 105 degrees, but fuck it. I'm gonna live in my log cabin without AC.

Right. That'd be fucking crazy. I don't understand why people do it. I think it's in the same vein to deny going to a hospital because what if something's wrong with that child? That's what I think. You have a team of doctors right there. Right.

Right now, the infant mortality rate is much lower than it was 150 years ago. Right. It's much lower. I've had it. I've had it with that. That was a good one. That's a really good one. Yeah, that was a good one, Emily. Really good. Let me ask you his question. Okay. Did he either of you eat your placenta? Fuck no. No. No. No. I think that's bananas. I crazy town. I heard about this. I heard about this about 10 years after I had my first kid. And then the people are storing the placenta, eating the placenta.

I think it's fucking cuckoo, right? Coco puffs. And it's cannibalism and nobody's calling it what it is. It's fucking net job sickness. Yeah. If you're seeing Jeffrey Dahmer, this is that same shit and they're trying to dress it up and trotted out like eating a placenta is somehow not that shit

and that's exactly what it is. I'm not buying it and I've had it. I've had it with that too, that's gross. They're crushing them up now and like drying them up, crushing them up and people can like drying them up, crushing them up, and people can swallow their own placenta in a pill. See, that just goes, this is Jeffrey Donner's shit. My thing is like, why would you be thinking

that much about your placenta? It's like you give birth, they throw it away, move on down the road. Like there's no place for a placenta after the baby's born, except in the trash. Period. I've seen people put it in milkshakes. I mean, how fucking gross is that?

It's just, it's too much. I've had it. I've had it with the home deliveries, lack of epidurals, and if you're eating your placenta for God's sakes, don't tell any of it. Right. That is number one.

I don't do it. But number two, if you put that shit on the internet, for God's sakes, don't tell anybody. Right, that is number one. I bet. Don't do it. But number two, if you put that shit on the internet, I think there should be, that's some blocking should go on. That is just an open share. And it's like, it's cannibalism. It's what it is.

It's gross. It's gross. Okay. Okay, next we've got A. Hinson. Okay. I've had it with old men in meetings and old, I mean, over the age of 55, wearing terrible cologne. It's the kind that sits on your grandfather's cabinet when you were small and it's yellow.

Looks like it was pumped some moonshine in the back mountain. And it looks like how Joe pesh moonshine, the back mountain. And it looks like how Joe peshie would smell in the 80s. I've just left a meeting. It's an hour later in my car, and I still smell like him, that it's nostril rape, and I have had it. It's nostril rape.

It's true. I know exactly the smell she's talking about. And you described it perfectly. Joe Pesci in the 80s and just kind of the slick bike here. But no, there is a breed of, I mean, and they're the type, you know, these guys that when they stand up, they kind of, they have a toothpick in the mouth, but they, they kind of like make this big to do with the hike in their pants. Right. They stand up and there's kind of a winks. Right. Yeah, like that. And the toothpicks hanging out. These would be the cheap Cologne abusers.

Yes. Because there is, Josh Welch would be a high-end Cologne abuser. Right. And then when you get to the cheap Cologne, it's exponential. And it is a rare astral rape. It is. It is. And it sits up in there.

Yeah, you can't get rid of it. And how much did he have on if she's in her car an hour later, and her car smells like it? You know what amazes me about men that are probably around 55 and older, is how fuckable they think they are. They have over-implated their wealth, their work. And you know what I'm talking about. Oh yeah.

I mean, they look at you and they just look you up and down and they think, Like, let's go. And I'm thinking, he really thinks he's super fuckable, doesn't he? Right. And it's phenomenal because it seems like the older they get, the more fuckable they think they are. You see it in airports,

you see it in, you know, Target, you see it at the gas station, and the eyes just kind of linger on you and you're thinking, listen up, fuckface. This thing ain't happening. Ever. But you're thinking, listen up, fuckface. This thing ain't happening ever. But they're like trippling down on it. Right.

Unbelievable. You get that with man Kylie, even though you're gay. Yeah. Yeah. Don't you think when they get over 55, it's just a, it's, it's, they really think they're fuckable, don't they? Yeah. Everything that is wrong with like a young man just gets worse

as they age. I agree. Same could be said for women too. Yeah, I'm getting crankier as I get older. There's no doubt about that. Oh God, I'm in sufferable. It's just a people on our Instagram will be like, boy, she sure is mad all the time. And what's so funny listener is like if you if you knew me all the time, I'm not this cranky all the time. Right. It just comes out. Yeah, and I'm actually quite affectionate and sweet and positive to all of my friends.

But when we're doing this podcast, I mean, it is the shit that I've had it with. I mean, accelerator smashed to the floor board, just bubbling over on high totally, but I mean actually I mean moderately pleasant person moderately moderately moderately. I think that's fair. I think that's Sully fair. Yeah. All right. Okay. Up next we've got Anora. I have fucking had it with paying it forward in the Starbucks drive-thru. You know when when they say, oh, the car ahead of you paid for your order, this is not helpful to anyone. I have made the decision to come to Starbucks because I have the means. Instead, pay the baristas, give them a tip.

My husband made the mistake of paying it forward to the car behind him and their order was huge. He had just ordered a coffee. So, stop fucking doing it. Yeah. The last time someone bought my coffee for me, I said, thanks and drove away and broke the chain. That is so true. Fabulous. I mean, I fabulous one. Would this pay it for? So this is why listener, this is why you're so smart. And this is why our Thursday therapy sessions are so important.

And one thing I want to let everybody know is each week we find out that we are all in the same tribe because now these all start with, I have fucking had it with. And you know, I thought you and I were so cynical and kind of alone on Ashole Island. No, I think we're not. Ashole Island is getting big. And I love it. The more Ashole is the better. Fuck, paying it forward.

Yeah. Now I meant that. I'm into that too. Here's the thing about that shit. It sounds good and it sounds positive, but it really isn't, because your husband got dicked over. Right. All he wanted was one coffee and he ends up buying 15. And somebody started, and I commend her for breaking the chain.

I do too. I like it. I admire just that thanks for the free coffee amount. Yes. Yes, because I always, I do always ask, though, how much the other person ordered if I'm going to pay it forward. Right. Like, is it two coffees or is it for the entire office

and all the office workers' kids or something? Right. So I only do the small one, but I do. I think just breaking the chain, I think just balls out. Be done. Yeah. That's good advice. Yeah.

That happened to me in college once someone paid it forward for my one latte and I was like, amazing. I'll, can I get theirs? I feel so good. The dougers are behind me. Oh gosh. Like 12 kids. Each one got a little milkshake. It was like $30, $40. Yeah. Didn't you college? And I did it. You did it. He didn't back out. So let me ask you this. Do you think you can ask the Starbucks, how much is theirs? And if they say it's 30, you can say, fuck that and move on.

Speed off. Yeah, I've done that. I've said, how much is theirs? And if it's like a super-exorbitant amount, I like, how much is the one after them? And then it's like, you shop your pay, you, you shop it, I shop my pay it forward, but I'm done, I'm going straight with her now.

I know, I agree, I think we all should do it. How often does this go on? I've only experienced it once. Were you at Starbucks? I was at a Starbucks, but I don't go, Josh brings me a Starbucks every morning, so I don't go through them, and I kind of oppose, I'm starting to really oppose drive-thru. Really?

Yeah. My pay-it-forward was at Paneer Bread, but I need to know why you're out on drive-thru. I just think everybody's just getting lazy. I just, I think it just is just, I think everybody's getting lazy. Mind you, I went through a drive-thru three or four days ago with Roman. Okay. So I'm a complete hypocrite on it. Right. But while I was through a drive-thru three or four days ago with Roman, okay, so I'm a complete hypocrite on it. But while I was in the drive-thru,

I thought, God damn it, Jennifer, park your car, walk in, order your food, and walk out. Why does every two being there? God damn cars wrapped around the block all the time because we're so fucking lazy, we can't walk in a store anymore. So I'm building towards boycotting drive through. I'm not there yet. Boycott. I'll probably go through a drive through

tomorrow, but I'm trying to build up to commit to that. And then I want to start a movement, but I'm not quite there yet. I'm still in the hip a critical bargaining stage. Gotcha. My drive through boycott. Okay. Kylie, do you like drive-thru? Yeah, I feel like sometimes it's a shame thing. Like, I might want to go somewhere I'm not proud of. I'm not about to get out of my car and walk into a Wendy's. You know?

I just want to like get through with my glasses on. Right. Right. And no one knows. On the down left. So nobody knows you eat at Wendy's. Right. Wendy says, awful. I'll tell you what at Wendy's. Right. Wendy says, awful. I'll tell you what, Wendy's has a great frost. Their frosty is great.

Okay, you ready for the last one? Yes. We're ready. Her username is baked by Becca, and it's kind of a two-parter. Okay. Cumps, Jennifer. Let me just tell you what I have had it with this week. Federal income taxes.

Like, they already know how much we're supposed to pay, yet they won't tell us, and we get in trouble if we don't know. So, cut the shit, tell us how much we owe so we can pay. Thank you. Side note, in college, me and all my roommates used to sit on our back porch and smoke cigarettes with wine, rubber glove on, and we would call it the pump glove. And in retrospect, I don't think any of us

even smoke cigarettes. So there's that. I love that! The pump glove. The pump glove. So she's young if she's just getting out of college. She's young, and I love. She's 100% correct with the government.

Just tell us. They fucking know. Right. They know. Right. They should send us a bill. Right, this is what you owe, pay it by April 15th. Everybody else sends us a bill. Everybody else. They should send out the bills.

No, I know. I guess people would bitch about if they didn't give them the deductions and be a shit show, but yeah. I do think that'd be easier, particularly if you don't have a complicated, like if you're a W2 or 1099 person, it shouldn't be that hard.

Taxes are, I mean, you know that saying death and taxes. Right, I mean, it's just so true. I'm not telling my kids all the time, be a vigilant bill payer. I am like the moment I get a bill, I pay it immediately. I'm vigilant about it. But when it comes moment I get a bill, I pay it immediately. I'm vigilant about it. But when it comes to taxes, be ahead of that shit. Like they will come and they

will take you down. But I love the pump gloves. I do too. That's really sweet. And girls, I don't want you all smoking. I mean, pumps is still, she's quit smoking for years, but she's still over here hacking up along. Right. It's still catching up with me. You don't. You don't. When I quit smoking, I knew like nobody escapes this. And you quit smoking while I was going through divorce, which I really kind of thought was selfish, but that's, you know, I know you're gonna go get a burger.

That's water under the bridge. You will never forgive me for that. I know. I was like, now you're gonna quit? Listen, or so pumps and I would have these long therapeutic sessions where we were smoking cigarettes and chain smoking. Chain smoking. Chain smoking that was so fun. And then I quit and pumps is going through her divorce. And I mean, she was, she's still mad at me. What was that

2015 is when I quit? Yeah. And so she still brings it up how selfish and much she hates me that I quit smoking while she was going to divorce. I mean, just left her main gal hanging. I know. Yeah. I know. Well, listen, her. I so enjoy hearing from you. So much fun. They're always great. They're so good. We agree with everything you all say. And we feel like asshole island could be turning into a continent. Right. Bring it. We're building a nation of petty grievances. We're nation building. Yes.

Come nation build with us that I've had at podcasts where we wholly reject inspirational quotes and home births and manifesting. I have had it. Yeah, all of them done. Listener, here's just one thing you need to know about us. You, we, pumps and I can talk about something for the 20th time that we have had it with, like manifesting.

And the 20th time, we will be just as fed up with it as we were the first time. And enthusiastic. Yes, we don't miss a beat. Like we can drag out a dead horse and beat the ever- Right, over and out of it. And I think our listeners are kind of with us.

I do too. We used to just think that was us. Right. But now we're realizing we got lots. We got lots of people. Feel the exact same way. Nation of assholes is rising up. That's right.

You can figure out what our flag would be. I just think it would be, you know, that like happy face with the ghost busters. What? The happy face with the ghost busters? Is that what you're gonna say? Oh, likes it. Yeah.

Yes. Yeah. Just cross it out. Right. I'm gonna think on that, because I think it should have something to do with laughter Because laughter is the best medicine. I agree. I agree. We're gonna have to go back to the crying laughing emoji is a good one Yeah, that could we do that? Thank you listener for joining us on these Thursdays. Please Follow us subscribe rate Right a review and DM us a voice memo to our Instagram account, Pumps.

See you next Tuesday. There was a little high end at the end. See you next Tuesday. See you next Tuesday. That's my Batman voice. What I'm having with them. Let's hear it. I'm having with them.