I've Had It - The Dumbest MFers on the World Wide Web

Episode Date: July 13, 2023

Jennifer and Pumps are diving into the nefarious world of the Nextdoor app. Nextdoor is an endless scroll of absolutely psychotic neighbors - Self-reporting peeping toms? you betchya. A cat with the b...iggest set of balls you've ever seen? absolutely. A possible Gary Busey cult sighting? no brainer. Join us as we attempt to unpack the utter idiocy of nosy neighbors. The Hot Sh*t Tour is heading to Atlanta, Philly and D.C in August! more info & tickets available at https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast Thank you to our sponsors: JustThrive: Use promo code HADIT for 20% your first 90 day bottle of Just Thrive probiotic or Just Calm at JustThriveHealth.com Healthy Cell: Visit healthycell.com/hadit today and use promo code: HADIT to get 20% off your first order. SimpliSafe: Listeners get a special 20% off any SimpliSafe system when you sign up for Fast Protect Monitoring. This huge offer is for a limited time. So visit SimpliSafe.com/HADIT. Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 So we're supposed to start the podcast. One, two, three. Not my best. I would say C plus. I wouldn't good. You have to start it over. Okay. One, two, three.
Starting point is 00:00:17 It's bad again. A third time. Third time. That's the chart. Okay, ready? One, two, three. Cut. Oh my god, it is faceplant city.
Starting point is 00:00:25 Oh, for three. It is faceplant city. And I think it calls for I will God am sitting. It does. Absolutely does. All right, well, I mean, I don't know. Maybe you're the Camilla Parker Bowls
Starting point is 00:00:40 of podcasting now. I'm gonna be the part of it. All right, welcome to I've had it. We're trying to make this podcast and some things are already falling apart. It seems listeners are the star of our show, as you know, who claps us on failed miserably. It was a trifecta of failure. Yeah. But listen, listen up listener. Today we have to get to the deep bark bottom of a bunch of shit. And this is, I'm telling you guys, there is some shit going on in the neighborhood. Major, major, major shit going on in the neighborhood.
Starting point is 00:01:23 So you know, pumps, there's that app that I've told you about called Next Door. Yes, yes, I've heard of it. So listener, what this app is, is people get on this app called Next Door, put in your address, and then it like syncs you up with your neighbors, and then people start reporting things that are going on in the neighborhood.
Starting point is 00:01:43 For example, my dog ran away, right? Didn't have its collar on. Here's my cell phone number. Pets are found. Happy endings happen. Yes. You know, there's, you know, your house is on fire. I've called the fire department.
Starting point is 00:02:00 Prevention of, you know, catastrophic things can be, can happen with the use of this app. Right. Okay. I don't want to focus on any of the good stories. Of course not. Okay. What we're here to do today is to talk about the fuckery
Starting point is 00:02:15 that is going on on this app, the next door app. And I'm just going to tell you what, listener, this shit is five star high quality content. All right, I'm just going to start right out of the gates. Okay. With a dramatic reading, possible cult activity at Nixon Library. During the entirety of my library visit, which was about an hour. I watched this man stare at photos of Gary Busy and print them off. I do not know what his agenda is, but I have a feeling it could be cult or illuminati related. Good night. And then she posts a photo of the cult like activity onto the neighborhood app. Right, is it in their neighborhood? Why is there a cult if you like Gary B.C.?
Starting point is 00:03:11 I don't personally care about Gary B.C. But I love the possible cult activity at Nixon Library. What do you think, do you think the f**king cult squad's going to break out at the Nixon Library and start going over the Google history and they're going to crack the case and just the Illuminati is gonna be taken down because they were looking at pictures of Gary Busy like, oh my God. That person's a cold. I mean seriously and then I mean she watched him watch Gary Busy.
Starting point is 00:03:43 That's a bigger problem for, let me say here, about an hour. She watching for an hour. What's the worst stalker? Totally. Carly, what did you find on the best of next-door app? So Darcy posted, pegboard for the taking on the corner of 18th and clayborn, eight by four.
Starting point is 00:04:00 Wade responded, hmm, my wife always said she wants to try peggy. Never quite knew what she was talking about. Is the pegboard still available? Do we think that guy like leaned into the humor there? He really didn't know. He had to have leaned into had to lean in the humor. I hope it's true. Although I didn't know what pecking was until maybe two weeks ago. I didn't either. There's a chance. I didn't know what that means.
Starting point is 00:04:34 My precious friend is she wants to stick a deal door in your ass. That's right. So yeah, he wants to get butt fucked by his wife. No, she wants to butt fucking. Same thing. to get butt fucked by his wife. No, she wants to butt fuck in. Same thing. But I'm eating it.
Starting point is 00:04:46 It's the same, same ass. Same ass we're saving the same dildo. I'm just saying, his wife keeps saying she wants to try pegging. Right, right. OK. It was pretty great. OK, here's another one.
Starting point is 00:04:59 Jarrison. So he posts a picture of his truck bed and it has a long submarine sandwich. laying okay in the truck bed cap lock Who left this on my truck? This is not funny. I called the police on you. This is a violation of privacy and the first amendment if I ever see another sandwich on my property again I'm going to report you to the police Which he already said I called the police on you. What is happening with the sandwich? Why is he so mad? I don't know, but it apparently is inviolated his first amendment, which I don't know that that is
Starting point is 00:05:35 a first amendment violation. It's 100% not. Right, you're a counselor, you're a lawyer. I mean, that's not a first amendment violation because nobody was preventing him from expressing anything, correct? Counselor? Correct. I know constitutional law is not your area of expertise, but I can get that far. Right. Right.
Starting point is 00:05:56 I think it's a gift. I did sure. I was thinking I would take it out and eat it. Okay. What'd you find, Kylie? Someone posted, was on a walk tonight and had two separate cars full of teenagers scream, 420 at me.
Starting point is 00:06:09 Does anyone know what this is about? I feel like it's one of those tick-tack challenges or something. Posed on April 20th. You know what that is, don't you, Pops? 420. You know what it is, right? April 20th? You don't know what Pops? Four 20? You know what it is, right? April 20th?
Starting point is 00:06:25 You don't know what four 20 is? What is it? Marijuana, holiday. Ow. That's why they were screaming. It's a big thing, like it, on four 20, at four 20, everybody smokes weed. Now, I didn't know that.
Starting point is 00:06:38 Okay, here's one, suspicious behavior. I saw my next door neighbor drive up to their house, open their garage door from inside the vehicle and drive in. And the door closed behind them. It was last night around 530 pm. Did anyone else see this? Typically they park in the driveway, but last night they parked in the garage. I have made a report, but want to keep others under lookout for this type of behavior. It just makes me nervous for this to be happening
Starting point is 00:07:11 in my neighborhood. Vehicle one type truck. What the fuck? Why is that suspicious? Because typically they park in the driveway. You see Angie? She's cracked the case. Why is she really the person had a body in the car? Well, absolutely. And that's why they drove into the garage. And shut the garage door. And shut the garage door so they could take the body into the house and then dismember it and then take it back out again.
Starting point is 00:07:41 And thanks to this, this report, tenacious neighbor, she cracked the case. And she has made a report about this type of behavior. Which I believe you took that report. I think this apt-in, but she has cracked the case of this horrible, nefarious behavior. Nefarious. Parking your car in your garage at 5.30 PMO less.
Starting point is 00:08:04 Well, that just seals the deal right there. I will say I have had this happen one time. So during COVID, I thought I overheard my crosses street neighbor in his wife like, duking it out like when I was on a walk in the neighborhood. Well, then the next time I came back, the car was parked not vertically into the driveway, but horizontally blocking anything coming
Starting point is 00:08:27 out of the driveway. And I just thought, damn, that motherfucker's blocked her in. He's not letting her go. She's like a hostage in there. Of course, I didn't report it. Right. You didn't get on the next door. I didn't get on the next door app. I didn't do any of that, but I just thought in my head. So the fact that she is thinking about a car going in the garage, I, that's where cars go. Let's see what she says. She says, how long has she been watching these people? She's, she, she's too, she's too familiar with their routines. She's made the report. She wants to, wants others to be on the lookout for this type of behavior. And see, this is something I think all of our listeners need to be on the lookout for people that pull into their garages at 5.30 p.m. and close the door. This is something that
Starting point is 00:09:14 really needs to be brought to the forefront of being a vigilant neighbor. Everyone should get at their neighborhood FBI office. Yes, people that are parked at their cars in the garage at 5.30 p.m. And shutting the garage and shutting the garage door. This type of nefarious activity has got to stop. There could be a meth lab in any one of these houses. There's so many options. And I'm just she has made a report of this type of behavior. And I too am going to start making reports of everybody on my street that pulls their car
Starting point is 00:09:46 into their garage and then closes the door because God only knows what's going on once that door's closed. It's a gateway to crime. It totally is, it totally is. Kylie, what do you have? Someone posted two goats having sex in public. On my way to work today, I witnessed two goats having sex
Starting point is 00:10:04 out in the open on the corner of 86 and new Hope Church Road. If these are your goats, please tell them to be more discreet and teach them better manners. In parentheses, we are in the south. I would hate for them to defile the morals of this wonderful community. I'm telling you, this goat fucking is out of control, listener. These goats are fucking all the time. Thank God she's making a report on the app. Where are the Republicans on this goat issue?
Starting point is 00:10:35 Right. I don't know, but you know what? Yes, I think they do need to step up on this goat legislation going on that. This goat fucking has got to stop. No goat fucking in public. And I don't think- I fuck in public and I don't think even married that might have defied the purity what if they're related what if the goats are cousins it it gets worse it gets worse and worse and I mean I don't know I mean this could lead to people wanting to fuck goats I just don't think it's healthy for two goats to be fucking. It seems unnatural.
Starting point is 00:11:05 It's too sensual. Pumps, you know what I've had it with? What? Pill vitamins. The worst. I mean, having to take all these horse pills like 10 different kinds to get all the nutrients that you want, I am so over it. But thankfully, I have discovered healthy cell. It is a gel, and I've been using healthy cells joint in mobility gel, tastes fantastic. I'm an athlete, so it totally helps my joints, you know, with all of the pickleball athleticism
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Starting point is 00:14:42 Okay, here's a guy in La Jolla that posts in the subject, Bitcoin. If anyone is familiar with Bitcoin and how it works, please contact me. My brother gave me a physical Bitcoin, and I have no idea how to sell it. I just say I probably be the same. I don't, you can't buy anything with a Bitcoin. I think it's digital. I don't even think it's buy anything with a Bitcoin. I think it's digital.
Starting point is 00:15:05 I don't even think it's a physical coin. I was so, I was really, you have to wonder if these people in these neighborhoods, like, if they're looking at him, like, you're the fucking idiot. I mean, I just think it's amazing. It's amazing. I mean, I just think it's amazing. Pure entertainment. It's amazing the ability people have to step onto the internet and publicly humiliate themselves. It never fails. I mean, the ability that our species has, like, you know what I think I'm going to do today.
Starting point is 00:15:40 I'm going to step on the fucking world wide web and show every mother fucker exactly how dumb I am. And I wanted in the permanent record, and I want it to follow me past death. I want that shit scoured into everybody's brains. I am the dumbest mother fucker on the World Wide Web. And I'll tell you what, we here at I've had it are here to help spread that message. We'll take them all day long. Okay, Lee, what you got? that it are here to help spread that message. We'll take them all day long. All right, Kylie, what you got? This one's titled Seeking Corgi for One Hour.
Starting point is 00:16:11 That sounds deferious right off the top. Does anyone have a corgi we could borrow for an hour or two Saturday evening, May 19th? It would be from six to 8 p.m. Or it can be earlier later, shorter or longer. It would be for 6 to 8 p.m. Or it can be earlier later shorter or longer. It would be for a royal wedding viewing. And the corgi would receive much admiration and care. Thanks. What?
Starting point is 00:16:39 Did they try to beat the royals? It borrowed from me. I can't. I really like, I admire that. Like, you know what? And you know, really, it's probably pretty smart, because people are terrible pet owners. So they're probably like, you know what? And you know, really it's probably pretty smart is people are terrible pet owners. So they're probably like, you know what, maybe we could just bar somebody's dog
Starting point is 00:17:08 for a couple of hours. Sure you're shot. Yeah, I mean, I wonder if anybody ever lend them the cord, I kind of want to know too. We got to get to the bottom of that. Oh, that's a great one. Okay, the subject of this one is letting my 12 year old drink. Hi, all.
Starting point is 00:17:25 My son has recently been asking if he can have wine with us at dinner. He's very mature for his age. He says his friends' parents let them drink and says they've even given him beer sometimes when he goes over for supper. He's not circumcised if that helps. Why would that help? Thanks for your help. Wait, what? It's happening.
Starting point is 00:17:54 She just tried it. She's trying to get advice from her neighbors, first of all. Okay, let's just start there. Right. She has put this out from her neighbors first of all. Okay, let's just start there. Right. She has put this out to her neighbors for advice. About boozing up with her 12 year old. If he's mature enough, and then also throws in, he's not circumsides.
Starting point is 00:18:17 Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Why did she put that? I just think she was trying to give her neighbors the full picture. No secrets in their neighbor. Penis included. Four skin has been removed. Oh my God. I hope that kid never sees that.
Starting point is 00:18:35 Oh, but again, he will because this is literally in the permanent record. This kid knows this will follow him everywhere. And I would like to thank the author of that because that's fantastic. Carly, what you got? I've got a letter. Okay. Dear neighbor, you just moved into this neighborhood a year ago. And I wanted to give you time to correct this problem on your own. But you are apparently too inconsiderate to do so. Every day this week, when weather has been nice and windows are open, you proceed to let your small child
Starting point is 00:19:11 run free in your backyard. Lapping and giggling and carrying on without end. This is very disruptive for my two dogs and my bird who sits next to the window and like to look into your yard. Perhaps you could ask the child to tone it down a bit or at least limit their outside time to 15, 20 minutes a day. So my dogs can be outside without having to look at him
Starting point is 00:19:37 running around. If this kind of behavior persists, all caps, I will call the police. I love everybody's threat of calling the police. And it's also the biggest tell that you're white. It's always white people always thought, I'm gonna call the police. I'm gonna call the police. And it's like the biggest go to, and I'm like, cops don't care. Kid playing in backyard.
Starting point is 00:20:05 Kid playing in their own backyard. Not a crime. And it's also like, maybe they should call the police because then the police could be like, we might need to get you admitted. We need you on a 5150 as well. And they can get this woman off the streets and off the fucking internet.
Starting point is 00:20:21 Maybe the cops, I mean, they should call the cops. They can be like, we've got to get you committed so we can get you off the fucking internet. You know, I mean, they should call the cops. I mean, we got to get you committed so we can get you off the fucking internet. You know what the tell for me was though? Two dogs in a bird. The bird. The bird is the tell. Like this little bastard poor baby, he sits there.
Starting point is 00:20:37 He probably has never even popped his cherry. And now who hasn't popped his cherry? The bird. No, not the bird. The writer of the deal. I mean, he is a very lonely person. Oh, you think it's a virgin. Virgin. His dogs have to have it quiet. And then he has to have a bird to talk to because nobody else will because he's so pitiful. I just think he can't have a bird. One of my favorite people on the planet, Linda, has a bird. And I love you. Typically birds are, yeah, especially a single't have a bird. One of my favorite people on the planet, Linda, has a bird and I'd love you. Typically birds are, yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:07 Especially a single person with a bird. That's fishy. All right, here we go. The title of this one is Making Me a Pervert and then like the Red Frown Face emoji. And this is Kaplock. This was posted during COVID. Hey, I am sick and tired of individuals
Starting point is 00:21:22 not having curtains or blinds up on their windows. During this corona, perinthesie, COVID-19, pandemic, the only thing that brings me joy are my evening strolls through the neighborhood. But I have noticed many of you not having blinds or curtains forcing me to peep into your homes like a little pervert. to peep into your home like a little pervert, parentheses, which I am not. Please put up curtains or blinds as it is a courtesy to the community. And I'm not wanting to be a pervert. Thank you in advance, heart emoji. And then he puts it at the bottom.
Starting point is 00:21:57 I have reported this information to the police. Here's the best one. I keep self. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.
Starting point is 00:22:11 I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.
Starting point is 00:22:19 I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. Because you went on the internet, you got busted. Being a little peeping Tom got totally busted. Then he drags the net, the global pandemic into it. And then he victim shames the fucking person
Starting point is 00:22:33 who he saw naked for not having curtains. Right. Yeah. And I guess this guy's just, you know, he wants to be an interior decorator pervert, making everybody get curtains. I just can't imagine the thought process that you go through that like,
Starting point is 00:22:47 someone not lifting their blinds is about me. Is me. And he also, not only did he own himself in this neighborhood app, he also made mention in his post that he has reported this to himself to the police. He's probably sitting in jail. He clearly was looking in a window beaten off. 1 million percent of the bus he rode out about it. Went home was looking in a window beaten off. 1 million percent got busted.
Starting point is 00:23:06 He wrote out about it. Went home and tried to make an alibi. Because the first thing you notice, you know if someone says they're not something, then you're immediately like they are. Yes. Like I'm not a pervert. Okay, pervert.
Starting point is 00:23:20 Immediately. Immediately you know they're a pervert. Okay, this old guy, Leroy, posts the subject upset with my neighbor's Wi-Fi name. Hi, all. Now we all use devices to connect to the internet and whatnot and my grandkids come over to use their phones and iPads too. Well, the other day my grandson went to connect to the Wi-Fi and our neighbor's router name is all cops are bedholes. Now, my wife and I are very upset because he started crying and we had to explain to him that indeed all cops are not bedholes, etc.
Starting point is 00:23:56 And it's just generally a rude thing to broadcast. Is there any way I could possibly block this signal or possibly call the non-emergency police and have them go over and give them a stern warning? I bet they wouldn't like to hear about networks called all cops or buttholes. Any ideas, guys? Where I did for you is to shut the fuck up. My idea for you is to tell your grandson to quit being such a pussy. Right. I mean, that's, that's it starts there. I think the whole thing about he wants the cops to go talk to the neighbors about their Wi-Fi name. Right. And it's like, this is too much.
Starting point is 00:24:36 Yes. And the moral of the story is you have to start telling your grandson, listen. There's a lot of shit that goes on in the world. People name their Wi-Fi all sorts of crazy names and it's meant to be a joke. And this is what we believe, but that person believes that and that's okay. Dry up your eyes, this is not a reason to fucking cry. Right, I can't even believe a kid would give a shit, really. I think this guy, I mean, well, I mean, if this guy's this upset about it, and the grandson shares the same kind of DNA. You've got generational pussyism.
Starting point is 00:25:05 I mean, you do. You've got, I mean, the granddad's a pussy, the son's a pussy who's crying over the Wi-Fi name, all cops or bed holes. I mean, that's not even a cuss word. If I was the cop, I'd show up and I'd say, you need to grow up and you need to tell your grandson to grow up. I'm going to beat ass, and then I'll show you that cops are bad holes. All right, Kali, what you got? Okay, this person said, hi neighbors, at some point yesterday, a person or persons who does not live in my building
Starting point is 00:25:36 removed my uncarved pumpkin from my stoop, carved it, and replaced it with candles and all. They carved the word penis into the side of it. That's, I mean, that's an absolute profile encourage. I'll tell you what right now, it is not easy to carve a pumpkin. It's work. So if somebody took my pumpkin, carved even a penis, I would be proud of it.
Starting point is 00:26:00 I mean, it's impressive. Right, because it's like, that's hard. And I think I really commend the poster of that to share that with the neighborhood. Yeah. I mean, it's really, it's art and motion. Yeah. I have, I'm with the Steelers last. I'm with the Carver. Yeah. I am too. Okay. Here's one. This is posted on the next
Starting point is 00:26:19 store app. And the subject is, we as pediatrician, have the right away. Good evening, all. I have attached photos below of something I believe very few people on James Island know what it is. It's called a crosswalk. I repeat a crosswalk. When a pediatrician also known as any human being steps out on it. You yield to them. No.
Starting point is 00:26:47 If you don't know what yielding means, it stop. When you're driving and see a pediatrician approaching, a crosswalk, you are to slow down and stop. You don't keep driving and you don't speed up. We as pediatrician have the right away. I think it's mind blowing that people yield for geese and ducks, but don't stop for people. Slow the fuck down and pay attention. It's sad that I even have to post this. Oh my gosh. For the permanent record, the poster.
Starting point is 00:27:31 Felt your same meant to say pedestrian. Yeah, I got that. I probably happened. She was trying to spell pedestrian and an auto corrected to pediatric. And she was like, yeah, that looks right. Just went with it over and over and over. Oh, like I'm so embarrassed for her. We, as pediatrician, why not you?
Starting point is 00:27:54 Even pedestrians would have had an S. Yeah. Yeah, that's, that's sad. I can't. And if I've said it once, I'll just have to keep saying it until the conclusion of this podcast, not just this episode, but the entire series, the ability for people to walk onto the worldwide web and publicly humiliate themselves as breathtaking, infinite. Infinite.
Starting point is 00:28:19 Infinite. And that shit is permanent record city. It is where's my fucking buzzer? It is. We need a permanent record city. Okay, here we have another one. The title of this one is found orange male cat huge balls. Anyone missing this boy, he's been hanging out at our house on Mulberry, very loud talker,
Starting point is 00:28:48 clean, largest set of testicles I've ever seen on a cat. There's a picture of the cat with his large testicles. I see. They are impressive cat testicles. I'm telling you that that cat has a pair of balls on him. I'll tell you. The balls on that pussy. All right, Kylie, what you got?
Starting point is 00:29:14 Joshua posted, please stop cooking. I can smell the cooking and it triggers my undiagnosed allergies. Please do not cook your food, but instead opt for foods that do not require cooking, like carrot sticks and grape nut seeds. What? If cooking is absolutely necessary, please consider the following options. One, not cooking. Two, heating food naturally.
Starting point is 00:29:40 You know, I think this is a really reasonable request. He needs to go fuck off. Like go fuck yourself. Can you imagine that somebody, it's like the person that was complaining about the child playing in their very own backyard? Right, it's the exact same thing. This person's complaining about this person cooking
Starting point is 00:29:58 in their house. The other lady was complaining about somebody parking in their very own car. And they're very ungrushed. And all these people are cracking the case on all this shit. Right. I mean, it's unbelievable. This shit is a gold mine. Yeah, no, I mean, that's bad. I mean, and then offer me a carrot stick. Sheve it up your ass. Okay, Sharon posts. The subject is cursing at my dog. Whoever just told my dog to shut the fuck up needs to come over to my house and speak to me
Starting point is 00:30:32 or my husband directly. Sharon's not having it. She's not part of it. Only Sharon tells her dog to shut the fuck up. You don't tell Sharon's dog to shut the fuck up. You know what strikes me in this situation is, why didn't she think, I bet my dog's being obnoxious, I need to rain the dog in. But no, she wants to start a fist fight with the neighbor.
Starting point is 00:30:58 I mean, it's really no different than a power mom. Sharon doesn't want anybody telling her dog to shut the fuck up. She'll tell her dog to shut the fuck up. She wants the person that told her dog to shut the fuck up to come over and tell it to her directly. Don't talk to my dog. Come and talk to me or my husband directly. All right, Kylie, what else do we have? This person posted, do gofers eat marijuana plants? Just trying to figure something out. Thanks. It's very subtle.
Starting point is 00:31:33 Okay, and here's our last one of the day. Suspicious guy in neighborhood, promoting, in quote, voting. All right. Listen up, what's everybody's take away of this? That's our first time to dive into this next door shit. This shit's hilarious. It's so funny. I cannot believe the shit people put on there. It's unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:32:02 I mean, like I'm mad. My suspicious neighbor parks in the garage and shuts the door at 5.30 p.m. And she's made a report of it. She's fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it.
Starting point is 00:32:13 She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. She fucking it. . She fucking it. She fucking it. Or lack there. I mean, you know, I think this person is just trying to tell a full story here.
Starting point is 00:32:28 Like that she's a net. Well, she succeeded. Like, you know, I didn't know that drinking affected, you know, a circumcised or uncircumcised people's picture. She threw that detail in. Maybe she knows something we don't know. Maybe she thinks if at 12, you're drinking wine with your parents, your uncircumcised penis,
Starting point is 00:32:49 we'll circumcise itself. Maybe. I'll tell you what, this next door app is, I mean, I signed up for it at one point because this girlfriend of mine, Julie, she lost her dog, she comes over to my house, she's like, can't find my dog. And so she says, put it up, get on the next door, app and put it on. So I sign up for next door, app, and I put her dog on. And then we're driving around the neighborhood, looking everywhere for
Starting point is 00:33:16 her dog. Her dog's name's Hazel. And so I'm reading the updates to her and she's panic because she knows her daughter is going to freak out. So we're reading the updates. And then finally, somebody wrote, oh my God, I saw a dog that looks exactly like that, walk into the United Methodist Church. So I'm like, Julie, somebody says that they saw a dog that looks just like this, walk in to the United Methodist Church. So this walking to the United Methodist Church. So we go to the United Methodist Church. They're like, Oh, yeah, that dog did come in here. And our pastor took the dog home. Here's the number. So she ends up calling the pastor and he had the dog. And she got the dog back later that night. but somebody reported and I witnessed, I saw the dog going to repent
Starting point is 00:34:06 for it since at the church. And she got the dog back. Dare I say he was repenting for his own or sin, possibly possible. Possibly. Sorry, Jules, but you know, that is a very high probability. I will tell you, I did try to get on the next door app. And because everybody said, you know, when you move into the neighborhood blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:34:27 And I was like, then you have to put your name. And I was like, no, I want to spy on other people in the neighborhood. I don't want them to know my name. Said that I deleted it off my phone. And that's that. Well, great. Okay. Well, listener, we want, we cannot thank you enough for joining us for all of those wonderful posts. And here's how we feel about them.
Starting point is 00:34:47 I roll goddamn city. But I'm here for it. I'm here for all of them. Keep them coming. That shit because that's the kind of shit that we need to know about. Right. That's the kind of shit that I like say. Oh, I've had it with that.
Starting point is 00:35:03 I can't get enough of it. I can't get enough of it. I can't get enough of people on the internet if I can show everybody how dumb they are or paranoid. I can't get over, I can't get enough of cat balls and drunk 12 year olds that aren't circumcised. Ha, ha, ha, ha. What about you forgot about the corgi rental? The corgi rental.
Starting point is 00:35:25 It's just too much. All right, listener, we will see you next Tuesday. I'll tell you what I've had a bit. What's your name? I'm Annette with that. Hi, new friends. I'm Jackie Shimmel, philanthropist, motivational speaker, glowing wife, animal rights activist, and a shoulder to cry on.
Starting point is 00:35:47 Not really, I'm a crazy bitch but a hoot-in-a-half. If you haven't listened to my podcast, The Bitch Bible, Brace Yourself, pour yourself a stiff drink and get ready to laugh your f***ing soft or cry. Make sure you subscribe yourself to the Bitch Bible podcast right now. You're going to F-ing, love it. to the Bitch Bible podcast right now. You're going to F-ing, love it.

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