I've Had It - The Foreskin Files

Episode Date: May 7, 2026

Boys are 3D printing new p*nises and priests are performing HOA exorcisms..Pre-order Jennifer’s new book Not Today, Fascists, join our Substack, shop our merch, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast.Thank you to our sponsors:Chime: Join the millions who are already banking fee free today.It just takes a few minutes to sign up. Head to https://Chime.com/HADIT.Branch Basics: Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code hadit at https://branchbasics.com/ hadit #branchbasicspodFlamingo: Our listeners get the Flamingo Starter Set for just $7 at https://www.shopflamingo.com/hadit.Biologica: Head to https://Biologica.com/HADIT to get started. Take their Quick Hormonal Life StageQuiz to find the formula that’s right for you. And right now, subscribers can receive up to32% off their purchase.IQ Bar: Text HADIT to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply.Follow Us:I've Had It Podcast: @IvehaditpodcastJennifer Welch: @mizzwelchAngie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumpsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready, one, two, three. Patriots, gay, triots, they triots, black triots, brown triots, we love you, and all of the triple Trumpers, all of the fascists, all of the fascist, all of the fascist collaborators, everybody that went to the Met Gala can do what pumps? Suck-old! Double bird fuck off, that's right. The double bird. Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, well, what I've had it with is one Kylie and Josie.

That is what I've had it with. It's juicy. So, Kylie graciously, and I appreciate her for this, set me up a new dummy email account to get all my orders in when my other one got hacked. And I appreciate that. But what she did, and it was a real knee-slapper at the time, she made my new account, blah, blah, 69. which I'm like, oh, it's fine. I'm just going to type it into places. Who gives a shit?

He, he. Had to go to the Apple store this weekend. And I'm like, oh, all my Apple stuff goes to an email account that is no longer viable. So I need to change it to a new email account. Of course, it's wall-to-wall people. This guy's mid-20s. Right. And he said, what's your new email account?

I can do that for you? And I go, blah, blah. and then I was like, 69. And he kind of looked at me and I was like, I didn't do it. I don't even know how to set up an email account. This millennial I work with,

she did it for me. I didn't know, making it one million times worse, but you know how I get diarrhea at the mouth in those situations. So yeah, here I am, middle 50-year-old woman

running around with an email that says 69. And it's fine until you have, have to tell people. Right. Right. Considering how fond you are of oral sex, I think this really is appropriate. Do you know, I was thinking about this after I left.

Okay. I really tried to think, and I want to say it was over 20 years, maybe 23 years. Wow. Because as a reminder to the audience, my sex addict has been that was fucking hookers told me I was bad at blowjobs very early. on. I did not know I was competing with professionals. Professionals. Yeah. So I was like, everybody wins in this case. That's it. And it's been that long. Like 23, four, five years could have been. Definitely before Luke was born. I mean, 100, maybe even before Emily was born.

She's 23. Wow. Well, first of all, thank you for sharing all of that. And, uh, Kylie, thank you for doing that because we film so much content. It's difficult to come up with really good stuff. So that was a really good assist to the podcast. You're welcome. And anytime we can show the world how sex obsessed pumps is, I think it's a win. Yeah. All right.

So I'm going to just tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with stinky Uber's. Ew. Like just what kind of smell? Food. like agree totally agree there's a guy i got an uber the other day and he was eating some sort of like it was like a dried fish chip or something something that really shouldn't be a chip something that shouldn't be in a closed car and you immediately get in and you sit down and ubers are not cheap

ubers are expensive and it's just an immediate like i'm not a big survey taker stargiver i gave him a one star And I've never done that. Yeah, because, yeah, stinky. I mean, you just can't, you can't do that in charge a premium price for transferring people if you're going to eat fish chips. And they're like little dry, dead fish type thing. Like sardine looking deals? Yeah, it was really, it was, it overwhelmed my senses.

It was the worst Uber right I've ever had. And I understand, and this is a fine line, because I understand that, you know, like wages are and I'm sure Uber doesn't pay their drivers well. So they're working around the clock. You've got to eat sometimes in the car. I get that. No problem. How about something that doesn't stink?

Right. How about taking, take into account the feelings of the person sitting in the back smelling and breathing. Because you can't, you have to get an Uber and you have to breathe. And by virtue of breathing, you're smelling. And so I just, I can't put into words how wrong I think this is. And I think that you should be able to request on Uber a food-free ride. I agree. I do not want to smell.

I oppose microwaves and work offices because then you're forcing the smell of your lunch onto everybody else without taking into account. their feelings and how they feel when they have, they have to smell your lunch. And they didn't go choose to go to a restaurant that might be a, you know, fish and chips place or a Mexican place or an Indian place, something that has, you know, strong scent. So a seafood restaurant, you know, I don't want to smell all that. No, I don't either. And I'll tell you what else.

I've gotten so, like such an aversion to food smells and cars. I will now, versus like driving through somewhere and picking it up, I will go sit in a shitty, nasty place and eat it because I don't want my car to smell like it. I'm trying to think of the last time I did that. But I just, I do not like food smell in my car. Like I don't like to get out and then get back in and it smells like food. So I don't like it either. I think your car is your workplace if you're Uber. Just stand, just grab it, stand right next to your car, eat it and be done.

How about an apple? How about a protein bar? how about something that doesn't have a very strong scent? But I agree with you. If you had to go in somewhere to get it, just go ahead and eat it right there. And then if you need to snack, you need a little snack. There's multiple things that don't smell that you can snack on that are not going to stink up the entire thing. And I'm just not a big believer in ratings and surveys and all of that.

I think it's all a racket. I think it's all bullshit. But I gave him a one star because it was that bad. And I don't have nose reflex. I'm not one of those weird people that gets gagged. It was so. Pulsive, I hated it. Welcome to I've had it.

I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. This is America's Top DEI podcast. And I want to remind everybody that might be new here. This is I've had it. And this podcast drops every Tuesday and Thursday. Just for digestible political hits, we have another podcast you need to make sure you're subscribed to.

and it's called iHIP news. And that drops multiple times a day because the news, let's face it, writes itself. And so this one's a little bit more lighthearted. Of course, you can't help but be political because everything is political right now. Everything is.

Politics impact every single thing when you're in the throes of a fascist takeover. So make sure you're subscribed to both of our podcast. Kylie is our producer. She is here. Kylie, have you been in any stinky ubers? I haven't. It's so bad because you can't escape.

like you're trapped in there and I don't want to look like a douchebag and plug my nose in front of them. I mean, there's bio problems. There's food problems. It's a rampant issue and you're stuck. You're really stuck. And then, yeah, I can't, I just think that this needs to be addressed. Uber needs to address this. If they're going to be oligarch, fascist ass kissers, you know, they're just not even good at it.

That's not even like they're providing that grade of a source. service. You know what I mean? Like, Jeff Bezos isn't even that great of a person. Like, these people fucking suck. And leadership starts at the top. Right? We're in big trouble then. Yeah. And so it's like, send out video messages, pay your people a livable wage. Say, listen, we know that you need to eat and we think our cars shouldn't be stinky. So here's what we recommend. And we're giving you a food allowance. It was never, Google, somebody Google, how much the guy that owns Uber, what is net worth is. because I get a big MAGA guy.

I know that. And he's a MAGA. Yeah, exactly. And, you know, he doesn't care about the product he's putting out. And these people are probably, you know, they're not paid well enough. And I'd rather beat up on the owner of Uber than the driver because he probably has no choice but to eat and drive at the same time. It's in order to make ends me. It's within his control.

The food selection is a problem. But see, again, leadership starts at the top. Trump probably has a quarter pound in cheese. The Big Mac sauce all over him. I can see it. All right. I wanted to review a few things before you do reviews, Kylie. I wanted to update everybody on Josh's body fat obsession.

Oh, thank God. Oh, God. I've been wondering. So, you know, I told him I thought the body fat scale at the gym was not accurate. So he went home to Oklahoma. And he ordered a, he chat GPDed and clawed. He has competing relationships with AI. He gets in a fight with chat GPT the other day.

He got chat GBT to admit that it was gaslighting him. And so then he was like, I knew it. I'm going back to Claude. So then he, Claude recommends some body fat scale. And he gets this body fat scale in. And his body fat comes back at 9.5%. Oh. The meltdown that ensue.

What was it that he told us? Three to four. Yeah. So it comes back at 9.5% and here's the worst part. It's hooked up to an app on the phone, the new scale. And he weighs every morning and he just, he sends me now a screenshot. I'm roped into this thing. So I'm getting a screenshot of his body fight every morning.

And this morning I got an image and it says that he's gained 1.4 pounds. and then it says the body fat has increased by 0.4 percentage. And then the attached to this, he writes, I've gained weight and my body fat is up. Not good warning, just that screenshot, and I've gained weight, my body fat is up. And I just respond, oh, no. This is going to be how you wake up every single day for the rest of you.

This is your life. Let me see what else he sent me about this. Yesterday morning, body fat went down. Was yesterday's post. If I changed that, is that, wouldn't that be water or something? I'm surprised he didn't rope you in to where you get the alerts every time he gets on the scales. That's where you dodged the bullet. I was just thinking, you're only getting screenshots.

Yeah, I think we could hook that up if we wanted to. Yeah. I would love that so much. By the way, I'm promoting Joy Reid's show. She's phenomenal. I'm going to be promoting other people. So I'm drinking I have a Joy Reed Show Cup because I love Joy Reid and everybody should subscribe to her channel. She's so smart.

We're also lucky to have her. Yes. And she's funny and smart. I just love her. I could sit with Joy Reid till my head fell off. Okay. Okay, we've got a couple reviews. This first one is Gen Z loves you.

Five stars and Wizard Slay writes, Gen Z blue dot and a red family listener here. Hearing two women who are the same age as my mother berate canks warms my heart. My family thinks I'm a blue. blue-haired liberals, so I refuse to discuss politics with them. Even though I have a degree and I'm a licensed social worker, keep up the good work. I've gotten many of my friends to listen to you all. You ladies have a whole generation backing you.

Love you guys and maybe you'll see me in politics one day. Oh, that's nice. Good for them trying to maybe make a change, start the change with them. I think that's fantastic. I think that's why a lot, we often have a lot of younger listeners. And I think it's like they see in us what they wanted their parents to believe politically. Like, oh my God, it exists. You know, like if you've got these maga parents and you're a critical thinker, that would be horrible.

And you still love your parents, of course, but it would feel like, you know, I can't really completely mesh with them very well. I can't completely bond because they vote for a pedophile and defend a pedophile. Yeah. And that would be, that would create a lot of distance in a, in a family. Support of pedophilia. Yeah. You would hope. Yeah. All right, Kylie. Okay, this one is five stars titled fellow Oklahomaan and Thai car 93 says, Hello, Ladies, I was born in Tulsa, raised in Broken Arrow and lived in OKC and the area around. Thank you for making me proud to be in Oklahoma. Oklahoma. I am an openly gay male and disgusted with the current administration. It's very refreshing to have two educated white women be so respectful.

and straight shooters come from Oklahoma. Your quote, is giving open casket comment had me dying. That was about Marcia, right? No, no, it was about New Gingrich's life. Yeah, Gingrich, yeah. Thank you for showing the world that Oklahoma isn't as racist or uneducated as people think it is.

I'm so happy. I accidentally stumbled across you ladies. That is so nice. And I will say this about Oklahoma. When you have a liberal or a progressive person, a blue dot in that red state. Those are the best progressive fighters the Democratic Party has. And Oklahoma City is really cool.

Like it's a purple city. And I found the most progressive, amazing friends that I've been friends with for a very long time. And an incredible, really supportive gay community. But you just get a notch outside of the epicenter of Oklahoma City. And it is a MAGA Trump dump. I mean, an absolute Trump dump. It is just abhorrent. And then there's layers of Trumpism.

You have like the rule people that are completely indoctrinated in the cult. But my work, the worst ones, the worst ones are the ones that know better. They know enough not to openly praise Trump in public. And they'll have a gay hairdresser and they try to be cool and they try to act like their hip. And then they secretly go and feast on all that. cruelty and they like it. And there's so many white people like that, at least my experience in Oklahoma, and I know yours was, Poms. Oh, yeah, for sure. It's in my family. All right. When you think about it, who's really happy with their bank? It always feels like there's all these hidden

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Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. Head to chime.com slash had it. That is chime.com slash had it. It only takes a few minutes to sign up. Chime is a fintech, not a bank. baking services for My Pay and Chime card provided by Chimes Bank partners. Optional products and services may have fees or changes, stated annual percentage yield and cashback for Chime Prime only. No minimum balance required. Checking account ranking based on a JD Power Survey published October 20, 2025. For more information on APY rates, My Pay, Spot Me, and Travel Perks, go to chime.com slash disclosures. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, our exclusive snack, hydration, and coffee sponsor.

IQ Bar Protein Bars, IQ Mix, Hydration Mixes, and IQ Joe, mushroom coffees are delicious. Low and sugar, brain and body fuel you need to win your day. Listener, the best way to introduce yourself to these products is the ultimate sampler pack. It is a great way to try all of them. There are plenty of flavor combinations to choose from all across all IQ bar products from mint chocolate chip protein bars to blueberry pomegranate hydration mixes to vanilla spice coffees and even limited edition and seasonal flavors too. With over 20,000 five star reviews in counting more people than ever are fueling their busy lifestyles with IQ bars, brain and body boosting bars, hydration mixes, and Kylie's favorite, the mushroom coffees. Their ultimate sampler pack includes all three. And right now, IQ Bar is offering our special podcast listeners 20% off all IQ bar products,

including the ultimate sampler pack plus free shipping. To get your 20% off, text had it to 64,000. Text had it to 64,000. That's had it to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply C terms for details. Okay, let's discuss. I have an update from Wayne with the Beagle rescues, and we have incredible news, because we've been following this very closely, these Beagles in Wisconsin that have been tortured. Let's pop up the headline. 1,500 Beagles have been rescued from Ridgeland Farms testing facility and sent to rescue groups after months of activism. We'd like to shout out our friend Wayne Shung in his work with the Simple Heart Initiative in direct action everywhere.

This would not have happened without their advocacy. Two of three convictions against Wayne for his rescue efforts have been overturned by a court, including the sole felony charge. Big Dog Ranch Rescue in the Center for a Humane Economy formally announced the deal with about 300 dogs, going to Big Dog Ranch in Florida, 500-staged Dane County Humane Society in Wisconsin, and the rest distributed through a network of 50-plus partner rescues nationwide. And we have some videos of the Beagles. After being rescued, let's pop this up. So here we have the Beagles and all of these brave people that have conviction,

that believe in something, rescuing these Beagles, making sure they find homes. And what's so crazy, you guys, these sweet beagles, Wayne explained to us, he was on the podcast a few episodes ago, that beagles are so docile and they're so agreeable with being with their owners that that's why they're chosen to be bred because they can be exploited easily. And so all of these wonderful people have rescued these beagles. And for the first time in their lives, they're climbing upstairs. They had no idea how to do that. They're touching grass. They're feeling the wind. They're filling the sun.

And this is described as one of the largest transfers of dogs from a research breeding facility ever taken and the result of years of advocacy and public pressure. 700 plus adoption applications have already been received. That will take time to screen families and ensure the dogs are housebroken. And while this is all amazing news, there is still so much work to be done. Let's pop this up. the Center for Humane Economy statement is, Ridgeland Farms houses 2,000 dogs at any one time, meaning hundreds have been left behind.

The Center for a Humane Economy says they are continuing efforts to try and release the remaining dogs. Of course, we pushed to secure the release of as many dogs as possible, while we share the public's concern for every animal still at the facility, the reality is that these agreements require compromise. Without this negotiated outcome, it is very possible that none of these dogs would have been released at all. So I just want to shout out Wayne and all of the people. I did a Zoom with them on a Sunday probably about three weeks ago. And the Zoom was just full of people that are organizing and standing up to

corporations standing up for the ethical treatment of dogs. And this shows you what the power of organizing and believing in something and being honest, rigorously honest about shit, groups of people can implement and make change. Ridgeland farms where the beagles were being held will be surrendering its license this summer. Part of a deal to avoid felony animal mistreatment charges after a court found. It was a... violating state veterinary standards. It is unclear what will happen to the 500 dogs remaining at the Rigglin Farms facility. Keep up the pressure campaign, Wayne, and everybody in that organization, I see this all over my

Instagram feed. I see that it's been picked up by mainstream media. It's incredible. You guys are absolute heroes. And your conviction is so aspirational and inspirational. in a time where you think nobody believes in anything and just lies through their teeth, your honesty, your compassion, and your conviction is so motivating. And I think it can go beyond even animal welfare. Yeah, I got the, when I saw this, I was like, people really do have power

because sometimes I feel like overwhelmed. And I was like, they fucking stayed on it. And the power of the people ended up winning. So, you know, I took that. It heartened me a little bit. And I'm so proud of all of them. They work so hard and organized so hard and they care so much. And those beagles are so sweet. So cute. The next story is a growing number of men are jumping on board a new trend. Let's pop this up.

The men who want their four skins back. Some try to manually stretch their skin into place. Others are turning to experimental surgery. Motivations include bodily autonomy, aesthetics, discomfort, and perceived sensitivity loss. Surgical options are emerging. One California surgeon now does about one foreskin reconstruction per week. Circumcision rates in the U.S. have dropped from 80% in the 1960s to 49% of male infants now in 2022. and there is a growing online foreskin restoration community,

including one Reddit group that has more than 28,000 members. Let's pop this up. The online restore community is populated by Dick Connoisseurs who parse the anatomy and aesthetics of the male sexual organ with the exactitude of Westminster Kennel Club, dog show judges. They have developed a scorecard to measure their progress called the coverage index, which ranges from CI1, no loose skin on the shaft, to CI10, skin that droops over the glands like loose panty hose affectionately referred to by some as a wizard's sleeve,

skeptical of a medical establishment that took away what they now hope to regrow, these men who post under monikers like Going Hooded and Mr. Anteater have long relied on peer-to-peer advice to achieve their goals, sharing work-in-progress photos of their penises, and exchanging tips on using cut-off baby bottle nipples to regain their own. lost sleeve of skin, there are few limits on how far restores will go. If I could grow a foreskin that hung down to my knees, I totally do it. Wrote one restorer in his blog. Pumps. Okay, here's my thought on this. When I read this article, I thought, you want autonomy. I'm so sad for you that you don't have autonomy. Women are facing laws where they have zero autonomy and are told they'll go to prison if they try to exercise bodily autonomy. And it just made me, it confirmed my belief more and more. There's no end to a man's obsession with his penis, A.

B, if men were charged with caring and giving birth, the abortion law would never come up. It would never be on the horizon because nobody's going to say what can be can be done to their dick. And I just thought it's un, I just, I was totally shocked at the lengths these people would go to about foreskin, which I've never seen it in person, but one of my dearest friends was married to an anteater and that's what we always refer to them as. And it's just, I just don't understand the amount of time that people, men, are sitting around talking about their penis foreskin, like you clearly cannot get laid, is what my thought was immediately.

So I think two things can be true. I think I differ from you a little bit here. I think that the women and bodily autonomy is a completely separate issue and has nothing to do with this. I do think it's kind of barbaric that we send our infants off and have their penises without their consent, circumcised. I think it's really weird. I think I'm glad the trend is dropping here from 80% to 49 because when I first had both of my boys, I remember they came and they took them off and then the baby came back and I thought, this seems really barbaric. I mean, but it was just kind of

like what we were supposed to do. And I felt I had this feeling like this isn't right. Like there's something not right with it, but then went on about the life. So I have a little bit of sympathy and empathy for these men. I think maybe they're taking it to the extreme, but we live in extreme times. But I do think it's not only that, the fact that we're so barbaric and practice this circumcision, because it should be the baby boy's choice, and he'll have to wait until he's an adult. I think we are completely wrong in doing that. I also think a lot of parents that this is in the same vein of people think they own their kids. People think that their kids are, they completely own them. They own their life. They own their vision. They set out what their

kids are supposed to do. And I think it kind of starts with this idea that we can just mutilate their genitalia. And I think that it's just been so normal. We don't think anything of it. But when you really step back from it and think about it, it's fucked up that we're sending our kids that are a day old to have their penises cut up. I don't know. I just, if I had it to do over again, I don't think I would circumcise my kids. I know ever remember being given a choice. Do you? Yeah. I mean, they just, I do think I was given a choice. I think they came in and it was like, it's time to circumcise. Are you okay with this? That based on personal stories that I've heard from people, that it kind of gets smelly under the

foreskin. So, but I didn't know that at the time that I started. circumcise my kids, but I just, I'm just not, I wouldn't go to all the trouble of putting it back on. I would think that would have all kinds of different issues, infection. I just, I don't know. I just think it's over the fucking top. I think it's over the top too, but I don't think that we should be doing that. I think it's weird. I think it's odd that we do it.

I think it's odd that we just kind of accepted it. when I really step back and think about it, I'm like, that's kind of fucked up. Like, I didn't give my child the choice in that. It's kind of like people that just throw their kids online or this has to be your life. You have to follow this exact script. It's like people think they own their kids. And the truth of the matter is the best parents know they borrow their children and teach them autonomy and groom them. And then the kids go out and they make their own choices and they make their own life.

But there's this real ownership of kids in the United States. And, you know, Europe doesn't do this. They don't. Yeah. They think it's really barbaric. And I kind of do too. That's just my opinion. And, you know, these type of things, I mean, I don't relate.

I hate what's happening to women, but men are just always going to be obsessed with their penises. Foreskin, no foreskin. You know, that it's just, Freud wrote about this. You know, this is just something that we have to accept. It's just something that they're going to be fixated on. You would think I would be more sympathetic given that I was truly like the perfect, open up the dictionary, perfect example of your parents make all your choices. You are following their script definition. You would think I'd be more sympathetic with these guys, but I'm just really not.

All right. Okay. The next story is from BuzzFeed. And I thought these were great. So petty people who got revenge in literally the best way humanly possible. And we're going to share a bunch of our favorites of these. So somebody posts online. Someone let their dog shit on our drive.

We had a security camera. I trawled through hours of footage, found the incident. Bloke stood and watched his dog take a lengthy crowd. looked around and then walked off. I took a screen grab, posted on the street WhatsApp group, found the culprit and his address, printed the screen grab, laminated it, picked up the shit, and stapled the bag to the laminated picture, then left it on his doorstep,

proudest and pettiest moment of my life. Oh my, I love this so much. I am so proud of that person. It reminds me of a story, if we might digress for just one moment. So in college, one of my girlfriends was dating a guy and he cheated on her, but she had his beer cooler in her car. So what we did is we went and scooped up dog shit all over the place, put it in the cooler, took it back to him and with a note that said, you cheated on me, I'm shitting on

you. And it was fucking gross as fuck, because it was like two or three days before he opened the beer cooler. I just found out two years ago this whole time he and his friends thought we had shit in the beer cooler for the last three years.

They were like, remember when you shit in that beer cooler? I was like oh yeah, we got the dog. He was like, no, you guys shit in the beer cooler. I was like, we didn't shit in it. We've got dog shit. But yeah, so I'm really proud of moment. Obviously, that was my idea back in college and I went to take full credit.

That was good, Pumps. Really good. I like for all of these years, people think that you shouldn't it. Shouldn't a beer cooler. Yeah. All right. The next one. To my neighbor whose Tesla is covered in craft singles. This was posted on Reddit. Number one, I am the one who keeps doing this. Number two, this is not because you're on a Tesla, but because of who you are as a person and the choices you have made. Number three, every time you veer out of your way to splash people while we are waiting for the bus, I will do it again. Number four, you are never going to catch me.

That is all. It's fantastic. I love that. It's so good. All right. What's next, Kylie? I have been waking up at 3 a.m. to move my neighbor's trash cans slightly every week.

And he hired a priest last month. This started two years ago. My neighbor Gary reported me to the HOA because my trash cans were, quote, visible from the street on a non-trash day. I got a $50 fine. I said, okay, Gary. Okay. Every Wednesday night, I set an alarm for 3 a.m. I go outside in dark clothes. I move his trash cans about six inches to the left. That's it. Just six inches. Then I go back to bed. The first few months, he didn't notice. Then one morning, I saw him standing in his driveway just staring at them. He moved them back. Next Wednesday, six inches. He started putting a rock in front of them to mark.

the spot. I moved the rock too. He installed a ring camera. I approached from the blind spot behind his bushes. I know his yard better than he does at this point. Last summer, his wife came over to ask my wife if we, quote, noticed anything strange in the neighborhood. My wife said no. I was standing right there. I ate a granola bar and nodded. In October, he had the house blessed. I watched a priest walk through his front door. I saw him standing in the driveway, praying over the trash cans. I almost felt that. Almost. He started bringing them inside his garage. So I've pivoted to moving his welcome mat two inches every week instead. I will never stop. I don't even remember what being normal.

feels like the HOA created me. My gosh, the dedication. I admire this kind of dedication. I love this. I love it. It's psychological warfare in its purest form. The HOA does do that shit to people. And tattletails do that shit to people because Gary tattled first.

Yeah. And, you know, to the HOA. And then, and this, this is what I talk to you all about, about suburban culture. There is no culture and there's nothing to do in the suburbs. So they get riled up about this HOA shit and trash cans because there's nothing else to do. You either go to church, you go to maga shit or you go to church maga shit, which oftentimes are the same thing. Or you're tormenting your fucking neighbor because you're bored to fucking tears because every house in the neighborhood looks exactly the same. It's where curiosity and critical thinking go and jump off of a fucking Empire State building head first and die.

And this is what this person is having to do to create some sort of something going on in their brain. I love this. I love your description of it. I love it. At first. We had, you know, I've had just a fraught relationship with my HOA. And the other day, first of all, there's nobody in. in there that's not a hundred years old. And they had this big banner printed. Like the HOA meeting

is this day, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I just thought, nobody wants to fucking come to that. Oh, yeah, they do. Oh, yeah, they do. Yeah, I don't know. That's where you're wrong. People live for that shit. People fucking live for that shit. They've got alarm set one day before the AOA meeting, three hours before the HOA meeting. One hour, 15 minutes. Ding, ding, ding, ding. And I mean, it is just like cortisol spiked, adrenaline, dopamine, serotonin, all in one. People fucking live for that shit. They live for it because they have nothing else to do except for go. Bible thump and Trump thump and then HOA monitor.

Be big dogs with their HOA. I told you about the time that Luke and his buddies were trying to break into the club thing after hour. I mean, they weren't breaking in. They were going in with the code after the close. sign and this guy posted it like it was happening in real time and they're posting it on the neighborhood group me whatever app because my neighbor texted me and i just thought are you sitting at home on a weekend night yes and you're watching the fucking deal at the pool because there's nothing to fucking do to do to your point yeah so this is what this is what

happens with this HOA and i appreciate because i I think I'd rather go crazy fucking with somebody like that. So much that they get a priest coming. That to me is far better than sitting around watching Jesse Waters and Greg Gutfield. Agree. One million percent. You kind of feel good about it. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Here's the next one. My neighbor received a letter from HOA saying his tree needed to be cut down. So this is what he did with the trunk. And for those of you listening, he carved it into a pencil where it looks like a pencil.

He painted it, he put it to a point, and he made a yard art. I love that. That's really impressive. Okay, and then the next one. My kid got invited to a birthday party and I don't like that kid's mom. So I bought a musical instrument set

that includes a drum, a recorder, and a harmonica. I'll see you in hell, Beth. You did this to me once. I did. It's because you know why? Because you kept inviting me to Bible study. I said no, and then you did it again.

I said no, and then you did it again. So I thought, I'm going to buy her a loud. His magic sand? Yeah, and then I think you re-gifted it to me the next year. Yeah, I think we, it was like, really fun. Uh-huh. Imagine this listener. There is a version of you that sleeps through the night.

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Longtime listener, I got to go leave that five star. haven't done it yet. I know. I know. Judge me later. Judge me later. Okay. But I have had it. And maybe it's just because this just happened to me, but I have fucking had it when people take a phone call in the washroom. I know we've talked a lot about washrooms, you know. There's a lot going on there. There's a lot of fuckery. You got to wipe it down. You got to make sure that everything flushes, all the good stuff, you know, wash your hands, all those good things. but we need to talk about the phone calls. Like, what are you doing taking a phone call in the washroom? Like, it's one thing to pick up and be like, oh, you know, like, hey, sorry, I'm, I'll call you back.

I'll call you back. Sorry, like, you know, I get it. I've had those important calls. Everyone's had that. But you know what I don't have it with? You're taking a phone call and you just kind of walk in and you just keep talking. You can hear toilets flushing in the background. You can hear the hand drawers.

You can hear the sinks. I'm sure all of this is audible to the person on the other end. And you just keep talking. It's absolutely ridiculous. In the words of Jessica, where is the oversight? Where is it? It's rampant. It's rampant.

And it's always somebody who not only do they have to take a phone call in person. They don't take into account the feelings of the people around them with the volume in which they take the phone call. It's like, oh my God, okay. So then I told him that I was going to do this and then we'll meet up at two. And they're screaming. And I want to say, not only why are you on a phone call, why the fuck are you yelling? Why are you yelling into the phone in public? In the bathroom.

Here's my gripe with all these people. Nothing that you're saying, like you're on a tram from an airplane or the plane lands and you're on the phone, or you're at the gym, or you're in the bathroom. None of these conversations are emergent. Like if it's an emergency, I get it. But why? I hear your side of it. there's nothing newsworthy that you're talking about. It's just, it's unbelievable how

important people think these stupid conversations are. Yeah, it's, and he's on to something. There is a phone call abuse that's going on with zero oversight. The public restroom situation, I think we need monitors. I think here's the thing. These HOA people, Gary, if Gary were to monitor public restrooms, Gary wouldn't be so worried about what his neighbor is doing. The trash cans were out one day that it wasn't trash. Who gives a shit? Gary? Right. The real crimes being committed here are in these public shared spaces. And that's a much better way to spend your time than monitoring your neighbor. And do the neighbor that was fucking with Gary, think about how excellent of a bathroom oversight person, they would be. They would be. They would be.

like, excuse me, what do you think you're doing coming here? You get out of this room right now and you finish your call outside and then you may come in. And I just think if we had people at the entrance and exit of these places jumping in people's asses and shaming them with phones where it's on camera, I think people would start acting a lot better. I think you were on to something. I think that is brilliant. All these busy bodies, let them go out and do public service instead of just fucking being annoying. Yeah, and the public service is getting rid of the public fuckery. The unnecessary public fuckery that we all have to endure. I mean, it's just, it's rare that you go into a public restroom and it's, you receive it the way you want to. It's just a very rare thing. Nobody is taking

anything over the finish line in these places at all. All right, Kylie, who's next? Okay, up next we've got Nick. Morning ladies. So I've had it lately is stroller culture in America. I have a four-year-old and we recently got back from Disney. And of course we took a stroller, but it was like one of those compact foldy, we call them umbrella strollers. But the amount of people in these gigantic like double stroller situations, I saw one family

that had two double strollers. And I'm not talking like the one in front of another in line kind of deal. It was like the ones that are as wide as like a grown humans like wingspan. And they like bump into your legs and knock you over. And they're like, oh, I'm so sorry. But the reality is you need like learners permit at a minimum to drive those things. And also like how in the hell is everybody in America affording these? In this economy, those are like 500 bucks just for something you're going to use maybe three times a year.

I mean, essentially Disney World and to run over some poor runner in a, you know, turkey trot on Thanksgiving morning. They're just obnoxious. The people driving them are obnoxious and they just have no concept of like how to be decent human beings with those things. I completely agree with her. I completely agree with her. Stroller culture is out of control. And it gets worse with each generation of new moms. And when I had my first child, I got a cool stroller.

and I like to walk. I'll walk my, when my kids were little, I'd walk them in the neighborhood, like at least once, sometimes twice a day. And then when it got time to the second kid, I was like, well, I'm not getting a new stroller. I'm just using this stroller. But they were so difficult to schlep around. And mine, you could punch one thing down and flatten it.

But if I was going to a place like the mall where they had rent a strollers, I would always rent the stroller. I was just like, I'm not schlepping this in when I can, and the mall had cool strollers. Like, they're like little cars where they're driving in. Right. They liked those better anyway. Yeah. here's the thing I had the exact same experience like it was so much of a bigger hassle to take it was the same with the car seat like the first child like wrenched it out carried the thing by the time I had Luke I just grabbed him I mean I put a minute while I was driving but took him out I never used the stroll it was just easier to carry him or rent the stroller

Stroller's suck. Yeah, they really suck. And there is this big stroller culture and like new mom culture that is and then that moms are out momming each other. It's just exhausting. And TikTok and social media has made all of that even worse.

I kind of feel sorry for the people that have like new moms that look to that and think that's what normal is. They know it's not. I mean, you know, here's the thing. We have to quit assuming people are stupid. At the end of the day, people know that's not normal because they were kids once. They've seen other people's lives before. We just always assume that people can't deduce and come to the right conclusion on their own. And this is an offshoot of Trumpism.

Oh my God, people are going to think that Instagram is real world. Well, they fucking won't. If you give them the permission structure to think that, yes, they will. Listen, well, I thought all moms were that way. That's why I didn't do X, Y, Z. Everybody fucking knows. You know what I mean? It's just, we're giving people permission structure to be dumber all the time. And I'm not on board with that. And I've had it with that.

People have been kids. People have been to different kid parties. People, you know, it's just, I've had it with all of that. And the power mom culture is just too much. And I know that they know better because I know two young mothers right now. One is 100% into power mom culture. And she knows it. she's aware of it. The other mom is like, I'm not into any of that shit. And people know,

they're a lot smarter than we think. Just MAGA is giving everyone a permission structure to play stupid. Well, you know what that makes up time for? The plug of your book. That's right. Okay. I do want to tell you guys to make sure that you are subscribed to our substack. Josh Welch is going to be doing a legal segment on the substack and I have been writing with Julia Sun and Shine and you all may notice we have really ticked up the last three weeks in substack posting. A lot of analysis there. It is a love project that I've been working on now that I have concluded writing my book and Josh is going to be chiming in on there. And the book, you can help us by pre-ordering. Not Today, Fascist.

Here it is. Anywhere you get your books. And we will see you guys tomorrow on IHIP News or any other time on Tuesdays and Thursdays.