I've Had It - The Gay Exceptions

Episode Date: October 22, 2024

A Twink and a Redhead show respect to their elders. PRE-ORDER OUR NEW BOOK and find live tour dates + more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast Thank you to our sponsors: SKIMS: Shop SKIMS Bras at https://SKIMS.com. Now available in 62 sizes (30A - 46H). If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you! After you place your order, select "podcast" in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp: Take off the mask, with BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/HADIT today to get 10% off your first month. Follow Us:  I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps Special guests: A Twink and a Redhead (Grant and Ash) @a_twink_and_a_redhead

Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gaytriots, they-triots. All right. Listen up, listener. We spent a week in New York City and I just have to tell you, America's greatest legal mind shines in the city. It is sexless in the city. The way she parades around the subway. She had purchased this darling little tracksuit from Amazon. And she felt so cute about it. So sassy. I put on my Instagram story a video of her doing pelvic thrusts on the subway platform waiting for the train. Yeah, no, I did. I was like, fucking killing this tracksuit. And I'm just going to say,

could have been a lie because they're trying to sell me something, but we go into a department store and two people, two, came up to me and said, I love your tracksuit. And I was just beaming. I couldn't have been more proud. All right. So here's what we did. Listener, when we were at the DNC, we made a lot of friends and two of my favorite friends are these Gen Z TikTok sensations called Twink and a Redhead. And their names are Grant and Ash. And so Kylie messaged them and said, Hey, Grant and Ash, can you meet Jen and Pumps? We're gonna have a studio in New York to film the podcast. And they were excited to do it.

But I wanna give y'all some tea on Grant and Ash. So they are like a twink, obviously. Or twinks. Depending on how you say it. No, depending on not how they say it, only on the way Pump says it, and the redhead. And they make, they have a single, I Got Fucked in Panera, which is an absolute overnight sensation.

They troll the right wing relentlessly. And they're incredibly talented. Like Grant does all of the editing, and Ashley contributes to all of the writing. And I never thought as a middle-aged woman that's much younger than my mother, Memaw, that I would enjoy following these two Gen Zers so much. But listener, I'm telling you,

Twink and a redhead is a total sensation. Kylie, do you like them? I love them. They're one of my favorite follows. They're so funny. And here's the deal. You can tell instantly when you meet them.

They're big thinkers and they're smart. You couldn't be as funny as they are and write their own lyrics. They're songwriters without being pretty smart. Didn't you think they were smart? Pumps, I thought they were smart. I've really, I like that. I thought, you know what? You gave me hope for Gen Z.

That twink and that redhead, they are as sharp as a tack. They are. They are. And they're super cute and they have a great friendship. You know what I mean? They've been friends since high school. And I love that, that they have a huge amount of chemistry, I felt like. Oh, and I like their dry, cynical, fight the good fight.

And so without further ado, let's get to our in-person interview. Sexless in the City for Pimp. New York City with Grant and Ash of Twink and a Redhead. Oh my gosh. Patriots, gay triots, and they triots. Cacaw! Cacaw! Gay ass eagle. A real gay eagle. Cacaw! That's right. Okay, listen up listener. We are here with Twink and a Redhead, or as Pumps likes to call them, twinks and a redhead. I was just saying the last three, twinks.

Oh, you've been just saying twink. I was like twinks and a redhead. Yeah. I kinda like that. Twink. Oh, like T-W-I-N-X? T-W-I-N-K-S. K-S, I would say X, but I'm not that cool.

So, listener, we met Grant and Ash, AKA twink and a redhead at the DNC, and it was instant Bondarama BFFs. Totally. And we came up here to New York. We just got off a flight, so we don't look our best. We had to immediately come to record this episode with the two of you. It's such an honor.

You guys look gorge, by the way. Thank you. I was freaking out when I met you guys. I was scared of pumps, I can't lie. I was scared of pumps a bit. We were intimidated by you. You guys looked so chic at the DNC. Oh my gosh.

And so official. We're quite a bit older too. So it was the respect your elders. Totally. I knew you guys from the pod. So I'm like, they're nice. They're approachable ladies, but I still was just like nerve.

Like I was scared. Were you starstruck by pumps? Yes. Yes, everyone was. I was like Kamala nerve, like I was scared. Were you starstruck by pumps? Yes. Yes, everyone was. I was like, Kamala Hu, that's pumps. I know, in that suite, I wasn't looking down at the stage. I was looking at pumps. Right, you're just watching me.

Literally. That's so funny. Yes. Okay, so you know, we like to talk about what we've had it with. I mean, we have to start shit talking right out of the gates. So what have you guys had it with? Do you want to start? I could start.

This is kind of a broad thing. Me and Ashley have talked about this for a long time. But we do a lot of satirical content on our social media. And I think I've had it with the lack of media literacy and critical thinking skills out there. And if you want to see an example of it, you just go to our page and read some of the comments Most recently we had a video where we were singing at the DNC and it was an original song

We made we found out real quick that we weren't gonna be allowed near any politicians Let me play that song. Let me play that song for the listener real quick Yeah Let's play that song for the listener real quick. Please do. Absolutely. Much more happy things at the DNC than what people think. And I just can't believe this happened to me at the DNC. Oh, oh, I got dick down at the DNC.

Dick down at the DNC. Yeah, yeah. Thank you for having us. Thank you guys. It's been a real pleasure. at the DNC. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you for having us. Thank you guys. It's been a real pleasure. So you got dick down at the DNC. Right. Like that was the goal of us attending the DNC. God forbid. God forbid. A lot of hot men in the room. Right. We weren't allowed near any politicians. Rightfully so. Going into the week, we kind of had the idea we're like, we're probably gonna meet

Secretary Pete Buttigieg, you know what I mean? Like that was our dream. Everyone's dream. And they would like bring creators, they'd be like, guys, it's time to go meet Pete. You two stay here. You two stay away, specifically. Right, so then we were like, okay, well,

we're just gonna take advantage of like the environment and just do the content we would normally do but at the DNC. And so Ash came up with this lovely tune, Dick Down at the DNC, and it went viral on conservative Twitter. Tommy Lauren tweeted it. That's when you know we've made it.

It was an honor that Tommy took us seriously to post it. We were like, we trolled Tommy, that's the goal. And didn't took us seriously to post it. We were like, we trolled Tommy, that's the goal. And didn't Libs of TikTok post it? Yeah. Okay, now what's so hilarious about this, listener, is you guys then trolled them right back and made a statement that said,

we were there as operatives and we are a straight heter heterosexual couple saving ourselves. We're modest spies. Saving yourselves until marriage. Yeah. And you just stayed straight on the course. But then the Daily Show drops it and accuses you guys of being virgins.

Absolutely not. That was the last straw for us. That was the last straw. Right, how offensive. You didn't say anything about us. But virgins. But they call us virgins. Really, a virgin would not use terminology like for us. Right. How offensive. You didn't say anything about us. But the callings virgin. Really? A virgin would not use terminology like dick down.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Not near the capacity. Like seriously. But I mean, at least they used it like on a comedy platform. You know, like Tommy Lahr and these people, they were dead ass. They're like, people are literally getting

dick down at the DNC. This is what they're paying. First of all, we had to pay to play. We weren't paid to be there. Right. That was my favorite part. So, listener, the DNC, there was a lot of creators there and then right wing media was like,

oh, they're paying all of these creators all of this money and you guys go onto our posts and start trolling these people. And you're like, we got paid 500K. Right? Like, yeah, no, it was a million dollars. They put Kamala personally paid us a million dollars for the Dick Down. For sure.

And specifically wanted the Dick Down video. Yeah, she asked for it. But no, but I'm like, why are you so mad? Like, it just shows some sort of, I think, like, maybe sexual frustration or jealousy from these people. Like, they've never been Dick Down, gone for good. Never. Never been Dick Down. You know what happened at the RNC, right? You know what happened with Grindr. Frustration or jealousy from these people like they've never been dick down Happened at the RNC right, you know what happened grinder

Yeah, there's some dick down going on on the DL But they don't talk about it or he holds at the RNC. I think there's way more a lot of glory He'll totally so many great way more glory Posted up at the glory hole. That childless cat lady was probably just all perched up there. Dare I say, I forget his name, the man in the wheelchair, kind of attractive. Greg Abbott. Greg Abbott. No, no, no, no.

No, the younger one who's weird. Oh, Madison Cossorn. Yes, he's crazy psycho. I'm pretty sure, well, let me not say, but I think he's gay. Isn't there some gay footage of him grabbing panties? I think there was a scandal. He was wearing lingerie. Years ago.

He was wearing some lingerie. Lingerie, which you know, but here's the thing, as liberals, we fight for their rights to be in glory holes, to wear panties. I want you in a glory hole. That's where you want to be. Good for you. Hell yeah.

We're fighting for them when they can't even fight for themselves. Totally. Yeah. That's where you want to be. Good for you. Hell yeah. We're fighting for them when they can't even fight for themselves. Totally. Yeah. That's kind of beautiful. And yet here they are shitting on us for trying to normalize something. Okay, so let's just go behind the scenes.

So you see that when Tommy Lauren trolls you guys and lives of TikTok, are y'all like, fuck yes? Are you dying with excitement? Some of the comments, like I was getting scared. I was like, oh my God, like they are, they're very violent. Very violent. Very violent, so I didn't love that. But I do feel, cause when we were at the DNC,

our goal was to also get on Fox News. We just really wanted to be interviewed by Fox and just troll them. So this was like the next best thing. Yeah. There is like, oh, I'm sorry. I have a flex for you guys. So we interviewed Kamala in March. Yeah, March.

And then Jesse Waters does a 10 minute take down of us on Fox News, top of the hour, right out of the gates. It's us. And he goes on for 10 minutes. And here's the thing, we loved it, but then you're right. It's like these demons from hell get released, and these people are violent. Yeah, it makes no sense.

It's just so hypocritical. They get so mad. Yeah, and we were getting death threats for sure, and crazy things. Isn't that crazy? Do you hate something bad enough you'd make a death threat? No.

No, there you go. It's just like relax over a podcast or over a get dick down at the DNC. Like God forbid, also even if it was true, oh God forbid, God forbid we got lucky at the DNC. Is that the worst thing in the world? We're just trying to make people laugh like at the end of the day.

Okay, let's move on to this grievance about gyms. Oh, that was also mine. Yeah, let's hear it. Well, I, unfortunately, or fortunately, I go to a budget gym. So I go to a blank, my local blank. It's fine, like it's relatively, well, it's not clean all the time.

But the clientele is kind of hit or miss. And in the stretching room, you'll just find someone doing literally like handstand, cartwheel, sometimes a round off, rebound. We're on the second floor, the floor shaking. And you're doing all that at a gym. And then on top of that, it's like, OK, let me take my shoes off and be barefoot or in my socks in the gym

Okay, let me I've had it with this Have you seen the men? They're middle-aged and they go to the gym and they have their little kind of dorky outfit on and they're you know They're elastic shorts. You're gonna have over their Gut and they're standing in the mirror and you can tell they're wanting to check out the women, right? But they start doing these like aerobic exercises and they're doing in the mirror, and you can tell they're wanting to check out the women, right? But they start doing these aerobic exercises, and they're doing their arm like this over and over and over. They're not lifting a weight.

They're not really doing any sort of exercise, and they're just kind of like, have you seen that? Yes. I mean, this is epidemic where we live. It's horrible. And it's like, is it a lack of knowledge? Were they never taught how to work out? I just, I don't know.

What do you think about the people? We need to talk about this. We need to really, really talk about the people that document every workout, every day, and can't stand this. And for a single day that they've exercised. Have you seen it in the flesh? Like, the behind the scenes of it all?

Yeah, I have, sadly. I have. I've federal yoga studio once. If I'm in the background, like, I don't need to be. Yeah, I have, sadly. I have. I've said yoga studio once. If I'm in the background, I don't need to be sweating, no makeup on, on the treadmill. Where's my release?

I haven't signed my release. And a gym's like a place where it's like, that's my kind of me time. I don't wanna be checked out or looked at or whatever. I'll wear a hat. And then I'm in the background of someone's influencer workout video. I'm not looking my best when I go to the gym

and I don't want to be part of that. No shade, but. Right. I just, okay, here's what I want to know. The person that's doing the roundoffs and the cartwheels, what's their age group? It could be, it's probably like 20 to 30. They're old.

Not like teenagers. But we live in Brooklyn. You know, the free spirits are there. So do old. And is there? Not like teenagers. But we live in Brooklyn. You know, the free spirits are there. So do you think this is free? So do you think this is like a frustrated cheerleader breaking out? What's going on here?

Well, okay, so I used to do gymnastics and cheer growing up. We were former cheerleaders. Yeah, we were. Oh my God, period. Of course you guys are. Yeah, no. All right, me too. Did you guys cheer in college?

No. No. Oh, so not that good. No, that's not. No, that's not. Not that good is right. That's exactly right. But y'all had to look though.

Hashtag almost. Almost. In the 80s with the big hair. Hashtag almost. Hashtag almost, okay, so when I was younger, I would go out with all of my gay friends and I would put on like a really cute outfit and this gay friend of mine named Dale,

he was a hairdresser and he was just the biggest bitch on the planet, and I love this man. And I'd walk out and I'd go, Dale, what do you think? And I sought his fashion approval so badly, and he'd go, oh, honey, almost. That's cutting. I love that. I'm gonna adopt that.

Almost. So now we've said it's good. Almost. Y'all are cheerleaders, almost. So close. Almost. Just close. Almost. Almost. What were we saying?

We were talking about the people doing the deal. The gymnastics. The gymnastics. Okay, so when I was growing up and I went to the gym in high school, I can't lie, I would do a standing tuck. You were that person. You were in high school.

And also, I was a competing gymnast, cheerleader at that time. You were an athlete. I was doing standing tuck burpees, which is like a real. Out of Planet Fitness though. Oh my gosh, that's impressive. Out of Planet Fitness in Hillsborough, New Jersey. This is not exercise.

That was a full-blown exhibition. Everybody here knows it. You're doing standing back tuck burpees? Yes, it's helpful. That is hard. That is showboating. That was kind of a workout. I'm gonna give you a little credit, Ash.

Hey, I really like it, but you know that you thought I'm fucking nailing this. Yeah, no I was. But I would do it when no one was around. Okay, but you love to go in public. Like whenever we go to the beach, the city, anywhere, he'd be like, can you film me? And then he would just do like a round off backhand

spring back flip. How's your toe touch? I was always in the back row for jumps. What about your herky? I could do a good like. What about pike? Well, okay, first of all, herky's like out of style. No, no one does herky.

Nobody does herky? They're called like right hurdler or left hurdler and they're kind of different. What? The herky is out? The herky's like gone. It's been out. Well, I knew that because of Emily.

She shared and I knew that. The herky was like my best jump. Obviously mine was a toe touch. Yes. Oh really? Were you like center jumps? Yes, center jumps. Wow.

Back in the day, but not good enough for college. Homecoming queen. Oh wow. Oh wow, we lost prom king and queen. Wait, I was runner up for FSU's homecoming. You know what they call that? Really? Hashtag almost.

My dad, literally. My dad, I get off the stage, my dad was like, you know what second place is? First to lose. Oh my gosh, Abby Lee Miller. Did you all watch that? Dance Moms? I did, but even at the time when I was watching, I was like, this is abuse. Yeah, it was fucked up.

Yeah, I was like, I can't stand for this. Meanwhile, I'm like 12. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up, wouldn't you say, Pumps? I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose.

One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is, "'Life is Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.'" In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Pumps, lately I feel like we've been going through so much and life just hits and hits and hits. And sometimes I just don't feel like myself and when I take the time to pause and schedule a session with my therapist from BetterHelp I always feel so much better afterwards. I feel like adulting is so hard and what helps me through the hard times and the hard decisions is the comfort of my own home therapy session with my BetterHelp therapist. Listener, if you're thinking of starting therapy,

give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Take off the mask with BetterHelp.

Visit betterhelp.com slash had it today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash had it. Ash, what are your grievances? Okay, so my main one is something I just discovered. Have you guys heard about fridge scaping? Yes It's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever get real like can we have one place in our house that doesn't need to be like Aesthetically pleasing these women are putting like and men and people are putting vases of flowers in their fridge

They're taking things out of the plastic and putting it in these like gorgeous glass Containers to make their fridge beautiful like that's a little ridiculous to me They're taking things out of the plastic and putting it in these gorgeous glass containers to make their fridge beautiful. That's a little ridiculous to me. They're like chipping Joanna in their fridge. And I just, I can't help but yarn for the days where you could just have three Kraft singles and a Brita filter, you know?

Yeah, right, those were the days. Get real. It's just, it's horrible. And it's becoming an epidemic. Is it? I mean, I just think, I saw that and I thought, these people are too stupid to live. It's just, it's horrible. And it's becoming an epidemic. Is it? I mean, I just think, I saw that and I thought these people are too stupid to live. Nobody's gonna do this.

And now they're doing it. I was literally on TikTok because I saw it the other day and then I went on the hashtag FridgeScaping. It's like, people are FridgeScaping. They're Fridge for Halloween. They're decorating, they're putting twinkle lights in their fridge.

What do we think this is? I mean, because I have a theory about a lot of this. I think that a lot of places in the United States lack culture. And so then these people get iPhones, and then they get a social media account. And then all of a sudden, they think they're creative and cute.

And then they start putting Christmas lights in their fridge and throw in a little vase in there and I think that this all leads basically as a straight line to a Trump rally. Yeah. Oh wow. You think that there's a pipeline from FridgeScaping to like QAnon Trump rally. I do, I do.

You know what? I agree. I agree as well. I don't think, I feel like social media does have an aspect to it because like there's that whole like how can I get more and More creative how can I be more and more different and so like it probably started with organizing your house and now it's like well How can I be different? Let me organize my fucking fridge I also think have you ever seen how like Chloe Kardashian has her kitchen set up like the Oreo? Every Oreo placed perfectly like get real like as

if you're not just taking a handful and eating seven Oreos at once it's ridiculous I've had it what about have you what was the one you told me about the other day when you go through TSA people are organizing and posting their eyes it's your generation is the Gen Z ears let me tell you what they're no show me a picture so they get their tray and they put their shoes and then their purse and then their phone and their AirPods and they arrange it.

You have a job to do to get through TSA. I mean, my goal is I want the TSA agents to think she's fucking awesome. Yeah, totally efficient. She was fast. She did everything she was told. I want to be invisible.

They're doing a photo shoot of the stuff they put in the tray before it goes to the x-ray machine and then posting it on social media. For what? I have no idea. If someone was doing that in front of me, I would be detained. I would be pissed off. I would be detained immediately. You wouldn't make it to your flight. I would be on a no fly list. That's insane. I feel like that's just a list. Yeah. That's insane. I feel like that's just a whole new level. It's also like this whole thing with like, I guess, tying in to media literacy again. It's like you have to rely on social media for everything, even to the point of like how you should organize your security bin in TSA.

Right. Like for yourself. Yeah, like who's, what's the target audience? Like are you making it for people who like don't know how to go through TSA? Like for yourself. Yeah, like who's, what's the target audience? Like are you making it for people who like don't know how to go through TSA? Here's the thing that's happened with social media. When it comes to like acting, we all know that there are certain people that are good at it. And they're on stages and on TV and in movies. Right. And then everybody else is eliminated because you don't see them in those places.

With social media, people get think, start to think, oh, I can do that. I can do that too. And it throws them into this false sense of creativity and talent. And then we're all celebrating this very mundane, boring thing. Like somebody picked up a vase and stuck it in their fridge

and then took a picture of it. They did the same with their TSA tray. And I fucking had it. It's boring. It's unoriginal. did the same with their TSA tray. And I fucking had it. It's boring, it's unoriginal. Leave the creativity up to the creative types. Be a consumer of social media. Little known fact here,

we don't run the I've had it social media. We have a millennial that does that. Of course we don't know how to do it. You guys are very good content creators. I couldn't even dream of, I wouldn't know how to do any of that. In the trolling is A plus. Christian Mingle, A plus.

That was my favorite. Christian Mingle. That was my favorite. Excellent, is excellent. We love doing like fake brand deals. We do a ton with like Disney too, cause they will never work with us. Unfortunately, I feel like that's a dream,

but we're too raunchy. We did a brand deal, a fake brand deal with Disney where Ash got flown out to Pandora to promote Avatar 2, and she comes back, her mouth is all blue, like, stained blue. And she talks about how she got real close with the locals, like, the Navi. I was sucking cock. Yeah.

Like, the blue people's cock. OK, I want to talk about your single. Oh, Panera. Panera, you got fucked at Panera. Yeah. And so I want to play a little bit of that for our listener. Panera, Panera, got fucked in Panera, Panera, Panera, found love in Panera,

Panera, Panera, gave birth in Panera. You pick two, but I pick you. So who wrote that? Both of us. We did it on a live, like a TikTok live, like maybe over a year ago. Was it on TikTok? Two years ago.

Yeah. Let me ask you this. Do you think Panera has seen it? Oh, they hate it. Trust me, we've had direct contact with them. They ghosted us. Like cease and desist or? They haven't gotten that far, but just like, I think they're like, pretend it's not happening.

And we're not giving up. Yeah. We'll be relentless. Because the song originated as just like a TikTok video of me and Ashley sitting there and singing it. And it was just like acapella. And we have like a bunch of songs like that. There's one like about us getting fucked in a TJ Maxx

that we're also maybe recording and producing into a real song. But they expressed interest back when that video came out, like when it was acapella, same lyrics and everything. And they potentially wanted to work with us on it, but then fell through. Months later, I let them know, hey, we're actually professionally recording it.

We have a clean version too. Like, let's do something. It says, eight down in Panera. Instead of. But we still give birth. Yeah, we still give birth. It just gets rid of the got fucked part. But yeah, it just feels like they edged us a bit

and then ghosted us. Do you love Panera? Yes, we do. Panera, we would go like three times a week in high school. That's where like some of our best ideas were born in a booth at Panera. So it felt like the perfect full circle. Absolutely, yeah.

And the food is of course glorified hospital food. It's not good. I don't think that's gonna do well for your sponsorship. All right, yeah. Sorry Panera. I love your mac and cheese in a bread bowl. We do. No, I would go to Panera and get two different soups.

I've done that before. Then you released, then you made a video. So you write the song, and then y'all sing it, and you do all the work on this, and then you do a music video. That I saw drop, and it was incredible. Thank you. I mean, really, it's wildly creative, it's hilarious, it's a good little jam. I think it's super fun.

What else do you have on the horizon? Ooh. Well we're coming out with an EP. Yeah. Ooh, that's exciting. Oh my god, this is kind of like the first time we're talking about it. Oh my god, we're like dropping the iPad in.

We're dropping news on the iPad in. Oh good, give us the tea. Ooh, we're coming out with an EP sometime in the fall. It's six songs. Some of our diehard fans, similar to Panera, might know some of the songs that are becoming real songs. And yeah, we're doing live shows in November as well. Yay, where are you going to be?

BCC, Brooklyn Comedy Collective. We're doing two shows there for, are you guys doing New York Comedy Festival? Yes. Yes, it's part doing New York Comedy Festival? Yes. Yes, it's part of New York Comedy Festival as well. You're coming to our show. Yes, ours is November 12th or 9th. Listen, ours is November 16th, come to all.

Yeah, come to all. It's matinee. And Twink and a Redhead will be at ours. Yes, oh I love a matinee. We are gonna normalize matinees. Totally. We just did a show in Seattle recently, started at 4 p.m., we were in bed,

eating room service at 7.30 p.m. It was great. Heaven. That's gorgeous. Isn't that great? Yes, we had the guy, he came in, he said, let's order room service, it sounds like a great idea,

so we had a double room, because we share a room, because we're girlfriends. Not lezzies, but like girlfriend, girlfriend. Well, sometimes a finger slips in. After a couple glasses of wine or two. Right, you never know. It'll work in a patch. So the guy comes in, of course he's gay,

and he goes, oh, do you want me to push the table right in between your beds? And we were like, yes. That's so fun. He was like opening up the ketchup. He took such beautiful care of us. He did, he did great care of us. We loved him.

We gave him a huge tip because we just loved him Shout-out the gay man at the whatever hotel. Yes four seasons Seattle. Okay Listen we're older. Yeah, we're we've worked hard Sometimes when we travel we go we have to stay at other hotels That aren't as nice and we accept it, But we'll walk in and Pumps goes, this is what I call a two seasons. We're headshots, Pumps. We're good, if we know it's gonna be.

Listen up, listener, we've worked a long time and Pumps is fucking old. She's earned her way to the four seasons. Good for you, Pumps. I want you guys to do a lesson plan. Oh my God, yes. Yes, okay, because we're pretty cool. Yeah.

I think there's room for us to be cooler. Yeah, a lot of room for me. I think there's room for us to be hipper, and we want the Gen Zs to educate the Gen Xs. Okay. Okay. Pumps could, I mean, she's kind of on the cusp, Gen X boomer.

I'm not on the cusp of being a boomer. I am a full blown Gen X. Okay. I can hate you. Seriously? Wait, so you're on the cusp Gen X boomer. I'm not on the cusp of being a boomer. I am a full blown Gen X. Oh, okay. I can hate you. Seriously? Wait, so you're on the cusp of being a boomer. No, I'm not, that is a lie. I'm just a lot younger than she is.

She's four years younger. I'm not that much younger. Yeah, it's a lot more significant. Oh my gosh. What's the age difference between y'all? A year. Yeah, about a year. But we've been in the same school,

I was like a half back. I'm younger, you can tell. Yeah. I still have my 25 back. I'm younger, you can tell. Yeah. I still have my 25 glow. Kindergarten. So you hashtag almost made it to first grade. Literally.

And then, yeah, there was like an extra grade in my town. Yeah, our town has a grade between kindergarten and first grade. That's where the summer birthdays go, where the people that just aren't ready. All my kids wear red shirts like that. Well, we prepared a list of terms that me and Ashley use pretty commonly.

Yeah, I wouldn't say these are widespread amongst Gen Z, but this is our lingo. And it's spread. Why don't you tell us what it is and we'll guess what we think it is, and then you can enlighten us as to what it really is. All right, you do the first one. OK.

We could use it in a sentence too, if you need. So the term is so click Okay, so I'm gonna say Using a sentence. Okay, so you don't have to my god Ashley like your hair looks so good today. Oh my god. Thanks So sexy, I'm gonna say really really good. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like it's... It's like fierce. You know how like, c**t became a thing? Like that's so c**t. I feel like it's kind of an evolution and we just moved to c**t.

But it's something that's very chic, fierce, kind of a little feminine, but like it's a compliment. It's good. And it sounds very female empowering. Yeah. Yeah. It also sounds like it could really upset the right wing. Absolutely. Like if I was like, Tommy Lauren, like serving today,

like she would be like, kill yourself. Yeah. She would die a thousand deaths. Yeah. Okay, so we did pretty good on that. All right, so next one. These next few were kind of tampering into almost like drag lingo, like a pretty LGBTQ.

Okay. This is the term boots. So it's like, oh my God, you are serving, I need to think of a word. You're serving like mother boots in a lot of ways. Is boots bad? I'm thinking it's bad. No.

It's good. Like you're serving like chic, rich boots. Okay, so like, like good. Yeah. Okay, so like if Pumps and I are gonna go shopping later today on Fifth Avenue and if she buys herself a new ensemble and she comes out the dressing room, I can go, oh my God, you are serving boots.

Or does that sound terrible? It's almost like you need something before that. You're like, you're serving? Like what's the outfit giving yeah, you're serving like grandma boots Like it would be good. I guess it could I guess it's kind of like it's an emphasis verse I think it's similar to Pete like oh period like like it's an emphasis like you're serving whatever it is boots Okay Like it's an emphasis, like you're serving, whatever it is, boots. Like full stop almost. Like full stop, like that's what it is,

like boots over kind of like. Yeah, boots. No more questions. Boots. That's final. Boots. Yeah. And you can even like in conversation,

like if I just said something that you really resonate with, you could be like boots, like yeah. But like there's not anything else to say. Your lips look great when you say that. They're very like, yes. Oh my God, thank you. What's our next lesson? Next one's crazy.

Okay, NHL. This comes from a friend of ours. Yeah, this comes from a friend of ours. But so like, oh my God, I just saw Senator John Assa from Georgia, NHL. Okay, not. It sounded like I wanna fuck him. Not humping. I don't know if y'all ever get this.

Okay, all right, tell us. It's so great. Limp dicks. Never, never humping limp dicks. It starts with the word need. Need his. Is it L? Yeah.

It's pretty vulgar. It's pretty vulgar. Need his. Laebi is not right, cause that's a- Need his. Ready? Need his load. Oh!

I think that's great! She hasn't been laid as our listener knows. And I mean, we're up to like 12,000 days. Oh, God. Oh, God. Yeah, the last time she got laid, it was with a married woman. She didn't know it was married. You could be at a bar, like, need his load. She will be such... She loves a good acronym.

I like an acronym. I like a naughty acronym, too. We like potty talk. Yeah. Follow up to naughty acronym. Yeah. Yeah, we'll get like potty talk. Yeah follow up to NHL SOS Mmm, you see someone hot president Barack Obama on sex. Oh, you're so close suck on Sperm no suck on sight Like it's going down like immediately like love at first sight, suck on sight, like yeah. So like if you're walking in, you'd be like,

oh my God, SOS now. Yeah, it's like SOS boots. That's so close. SOS boots. Yeah, so use all of them together in one sentence for us. Oh my God. Well, okay, so oh my God, that man is serving hung boots. Do y'all know hung? It's like a big cock, right?

I know that. We've been saying for years. If they're over six foot four, they're hung to the floor. Oh wow. Pretty much checks out. Yeah, it does. I've done some field research and that's right. 12,000 days ago. Back in my young days. 12,000 days ago. Now back in my young days, my your age days.

No, yeah, I agree. I believe you. Your studies are accurate. Pumps, our ability to suck and then wake up the next day and suck more than the previous day is undefeated. It's unparalleled. We are the champions. If you would like to see how bad we suck, please join us in New York City in November

for just some world-class shit talking. That's right. Live. Live and in person. That's right. Pumps, I have hated underwire bras for years. It would be the first thing I would take off the second I got home.

But these new Skims bras have totally changed my mind. Not only are they so comfortable, but they keep the dragons from sagging. They push them right up. I have the wireless push-up bra. It's fabulous. I love the Fits Everybody Plunge Bra. It is my new favorite bra. I'm telling you this is so incredibly comfortable. It looks great

under all of my tanks. Skims has completely transformed my undergarment world. Listener, shop Skims bras at skims.com now now available in 62 sizes, from 30A to 46H. And if you haven't yet, be sure to let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. All right, let's play had it or hit it. Okay.

Oh my God. Welcome to had it or hit it. I. Oh my God. Welcome to had it or hit it. I would hit it. Had it. Had it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Had it or hit it, moo, dang. Hit it.

I'm obsessed. I'm too. You hate her? No, I love her. I'm an animal lover. Yeah. She's cute and she's like comfy. And she's super cute. She's click it. No, I love her. I'm an animal lover. Oh, she's cute. And she's like comfy. She's super cute.

She's clipped. She's so clipped. I like that she's got like some sass to her. She's definitely sassy. Don't you want to touch her? Yes. What does that texture feel like? Slimy.

Yeah, but is it like- Do you think slimy? Yes. Or is it rubbery? She's always got a glisten to her. I know, but is it like lubed up or is it like dry? You think Mudang's lubed up? She always looks like she's got a fresh coat of like baby oil on her.

Yeah, just straight out of the shower. Yeah. Okay, had it or hit it, matching family outfits. Had it. Had it. That's embarrassing. Oh, you don't want your kid to have individualism? I do like a Christmas PJ.

Oh, I like a Christmas PJ. Okay, well if we're getting like PJ. But at least let's get like a Christmas PJ. Oh, I like a Christmas PJ. But at least let's get like different colors maybe. I agree with you. It's like, I think there's a, our generation started it where they have claimed the child's individuality and then it's, and they're making the child

the center of the parent's life. And I think, and you see like a lot of people in your generation have debilitating anxiety. And I'm like, well, yes, because the moms are power mom psychos that won't let the kids do anything. Yeah. Why don't you have family pictures and you say, hey, how about you pick out your outfit?

I agree. I feel like it'd be you too. I just like not one color if there's a bad character. And something that they feel most comfortable with in a probably uncomfortable situation, like being in front of like a fancy camera or something Yeah, you'll get a better photo out of that. Yeah, I agree And it's a better memory like look at what like when my youngest son when he was like three to five years old

He was obsessed with tie-dye And he wanted to wear five tie-dye t-shirts at a time layered on top of each other And so I always remember it, and we have some pictures of him in it, and I'm so glad we do that I didn't make him change. Okay, had it or hid it, true crime before bedtime. Like a homicide before bed. Uh-uh, uh-uh.

Really? But I'll be doing it. I don't like true crime. Really, at all? No, I literally can't watch, things like that stay with me. I don't really like horror, like I watched Halloween Town when I was a kid and it stuck with me for years.

Trauma. Yeah, so like true crime, I remember reading about the kidnapping of Elizabeth Smart when I was younger. It ruined my life. Seriously ruined my life. I thought I was gonna be kidnapped. I love a homicide before bedtime. I love to take in.

And they've done a study recently and they say if somebody admits that they like a little homicide before bedtime that it's a red flag, which is probably right. It might be. Listen, here's the thing. We have not always been this pulled together. You guys are really meeting the best versions of ourselves. Other than the straight from the airport. You guys are really meeting the best versions of ourselves, other than the straight from the airport right now. And y'all look good.

Had it or hit it, impossible burgers. Oh, I have a controversial opinion. No, I don't. Well, I was gonna say I'm vegan-phobic, but- Oh, wow. Yeah, that's a really harsh claim. I'm not vegan-phobic. I think I'm- I can get on board with that.

Right? I can get on board with vegan-phobic. I just don't wanna hear about it. I don't wanna hear about it. I don't want board with a little bit. I just don't want to hear about it. I don't want to hear about it. I don't want you to make like ruin everyone else's dinner. Yeah, exactly. No shade. No shade.

So Impossible Burger, I'm glad that a restaurant might have that option for those people. But if it's Impossible Burgers for everyone, no thanks. Right. Yeah, I kind of hit it though, because I went through a phase. I was a vegan in college and I found, well, I kind of hit it though. I've never had it. I went through a phase, I was a vegan in college, and I found, well, I don't really like burgers. I've only had a burger once in my life. What?

Yeah, of two years ago. I tried a burger for the first time. You got the shits. Yeah, like it did not agree with me. How is that possible? I don't know, I just, my mom was a vegetarian growing up, so I just never had like red meat. And then I had a Shake Shack burger two years ago.

It ran through me. Yeah, that would be hard. It was not okay. Yeah, no, that's not good at all. Yeah. Okay, had it or hit it, country music. Oh, that's hard. I'm verse.

Yeah. You know what verse means? No. Come on, you know what verse means? And y'all are a couple of hags. We are a couple of hags that you can do verse. Yeah. So I've just been using verse in everyday language. So I'm like verse with that.

Because it's like you're a top and a bottom. Yeah. It depends on the situation. Yeah, it depends who's the country artist. Yeah. And we may or may not have a song on our EP that's country. That's country. Oh. OK. Yeah. So on our EP that's country. That's country.

Oh, okay. So hit it with that. Okay, had it or hit it, Laura Loomer. Who the hell's that? That's Trump's new girl. New boo. Oh. Super racist.

Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. All right, had it or hit it, Disney World. Hit it. Hit it, hit it, hit it, Disney World. Hit it. Hit it. Hit it, hit it, hit it. Hit it in a literal way. Are you Disney adulted? Are you Disney adults?

I am. I think Grant more so than me, but I can respect and appreciate a Disney adult. I am, but it's kind of a bit. I really can. I'm like aware. I'm a self-aware Disney adult. I'm fascinated by the psychology

because there's clearly something like nostalgic and you're kind of like're trying to reclaim from childhood and being a Disney adult. So I feel that's beautiful. I love the immersion of it all. I love an immersive experience. I'm not a Disney adult in the way that I'm tuning into this movie all the time.

I'm going to the parks. I'm a Disney adult park-goer. OK, let me ask you this. What's your favorite ride? Oof. I think I went in June and I think there's a new there's a new Guardians of the Galaxy ride in Epcot. It's stunning. Lovely. Lovely roller coaster. I think that's right.

I've been on. I took my kids to Disney twice. Uh huh. And here's the thing. I don't like group activities. Mm hmm. I don't particularly like waiting in lines. And I think I'm really cynical borderlining on a sociopath

when it comes to stuff like that because I get angry. And I think that adults go there. But I like you so much. I think we have to give him a pass. Everyone gets, there's a gay exception for everything. And everyone makes mistakes. We do, like couples that sit on the same side of the room, but it's like, but if they're gay, that's so cute.

Oh yeah, that's fine, let them have it. Yeah, I've had to go to Disney three times, and every time as I'm driving, I'm thinking, this is the most miserable fucking place on earth. Wow, I just wish it wasn't in Orland. It gets too hot. Do you guys go to the LA one? Yes, I've done the LA.

Oh, that one's so much worse, no shade. See, I just can't ever't in or only it gets too hot. You guys go to the LA one. Yes, I've done LA. Oh, that was so much worse. No shade. See, I just can't ever go back to Florida. No. Period. I, yeah. And you'll find every part of America at Disney World Park.

Yeah. Every genre of person. Got a lot of America. Studying abroad a little bit. Yeah. In your own country. Yeah, crazy. Studying abroad at Epcot.

We did a Disney swingers video. What? Yes, I saw that. It prompted a Rolling Stone article because people believed it. The alt right, believed it. They believe everything. And we're like, these people are around children.

Like, these are pedophiles. Yeah, they're pedophiles. We needed to go on. Have you been on Space Mountain? Yeah, yeah. Space Mountain's a roller coaster in the dark and like it looks very close, like the bars are gonna hit you or something.

Someone told us that we needed to go on Space Mountain and stand up. Telling us about a creative death threat. Creative death threat, telling us to get decapitated on Space Mountain. Just cause we were swinging at Disney, God forbid. I guarantee there's a lot of swingers at Disney. For sure, I think there are more swingers

than we know about just in general. I agree. Oh, well she's a divorce attorney. She's a divorce attorney and she's had lots of swingers. Lots of swingers, wow. Because what happens is that they're supposed to be rules with the swingers. And they never follow them.

They never follow the rules. There's always a separate hookup. There's a motion. Yeah, they get tied up with one. And then they're separate. Well, and swingers are super jealous, which seems like it would not compute, that that would be the opposite.

But they're very, very jealous with their rules. I've heard that if your children do competitive sports, a lot of times the parents are swinging. You know you're going to all these tournaments. What else is there to do? And you're in hotels, know you're going to all these tournaments. What else is there to do? Right, and you're in hotels and you're drunk. No, I, my son plays AAU basketball, which is, and hers did too,

and there's definitely been some slap and tickles with parties that she's been slapping. Some rub and tug. More cheating in my experience. I had some one to two season hotels. Oh. Yeah. Oh, maybe zero seasons. Oh my God.

Those travel hotels are zero seasons. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Last one. Had it or hit it mega churches. Had it. Had it.

Oh God. You're just like, like it's fraud, it's embezzlement. Like please. Yes, they gotta be just taking your money and you're eating it up. Like the shows, have you seen the TikToks of like the Christmas shows? It's crazy.

And it's like on mobile and productions. They have private planes. I know. Like it's crazy. Stylish. It's horrible. I don't get how these people going to these churches aren't realizing they're part of some sort of mass scam, but I don't know.

We just read an article where some church is selling plots in heaven to people. I saw that. They're buying their death plots in heaven to people. I saw that. They're buying their death plots in heaven. Yes. Where do I get mine for hell? It's reserved in hell for free. As we've started our podcast and kind of ventured on through this the last couple of years,

we've come to the conclusion that half of the country is just stupid. And it's just we can try to the conclusion that half of the country is just stupid. Yeah. And it's just, we can try to say, how do we connect to middle America? How do we reach these people? You can't reach stupid. No. Can't figure it.

Can't, you know. It's sad. It's really sad. I used to think it was sad, but I really don't anymore. But now you're just like, you're over, you've had it. I've had it. You've had it. Exactly. All right, Grant and Ash, thank you so much.'re over. You've had it. I've had it All right grant and ash

Thank you Come true literally you guys are so iconic We're gonna make some tic-tac yes One oh we're doing it y'all are gonna get... Down with it. I'm a terrible dancer for the record. You don't have to be good. Listener, make sure you go follow. I'm serious, this is such a great follow.

Twink and a redhead. I started following them after the DNC, after we dick down together at the DNC. Dick downed at the DNC. And we had so much fun. Y'all remember how Pumps wasn't working and we were? I was just like... Pumps was in her own zone. So many people, it makes me overwhelmed.

All right, Pumps, tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Bye, Ellie. Bye, Ellie. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that. Listen up, patriots, gay tririots, and natriots.

We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever, you can get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe, and review

so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, Pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Cacaw! A little bit more enthusiasm. Cacaw! That's it, that's, that's, Cacaw! That's the patriot that's, that's... Cacaw!

That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.