I've Had It - The Secret Lives of MAGA Men

Episode Date: April 16, 2026

Get in loser, we're hypocrisy shaming MAGA Men!Order our book, join our Substack, shop our merch, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast.Thank you to our sponsors:Article: Thanks to Article for sponsoring this podcast! Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit https://www.article.com/discount/hadit and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout.Jones Road Beauty: Use code Hadit at https://jonesroadbeauty.com to get a Free Shimmer Face Oil with your first purchase! #JonesRoadBeauty #adChime: Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. It just takes a few minutes to sign up. Head to https://Chime.com/HADIT.ZipRecruiter: Cut through the standard, and get to the standOUTS — with ZipRecruiter. And now, you can try it FOR FREE at https://ZipRecruiter.com/HADIT.Boll and Branch: Upgrade your sleep with Boll & Branch. Get 15% off your first order plus free shipping at https://BollAndBranch.com/hadit with code hadit. Exclusions apply.Follow Us:I've Had It Podcast: @IvehaditpodcastJennifer Welch: @mizzwelchAngie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumpsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready, one, two, three. Patriots, gay, triots, they triots, black triots, brown triots, we love you, and all of the triple Trumpers can do what pumps? Fuck off! Pumps, what have you had it with? What I've had it with is when you run into somebody you haven't seen for like 20, 30 years, and they name drop. It's like, number one, I don't know the same people you do. I don't care.

But just name droppers in general strike me as insecure, trying to prove they're cool. And it just makes me think they're not cool. If you drop like two names, whether I know them or not, I'm immediately thinking, this person's really insecure. If they're having to tell me all these cool people they know. So that happened. And I was just like, I'm so glad that I don't see a lot of people. I don't get out in the wild that much and run into people I went to college with.

Were the people that were name dropped? Were they quality people? Did you know who they were? I didn't know who they were, but I could tell it was meant to impress me. But I was just like, even if I did know who they were, I wouldn't care because why do you have to bring them up to be cool? I thought it was weird. Yeah. Yeah, the name dropping situation can be so incredibly annoying.

I think it has to be an insecurity. And so it's like I'm important by proxy. Yeah, you know, my proximity to these people make me super duper important. Okay, let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with my dogs, Chau Chah and Tebby. We're going through a phase in their upbringing where they have absolutely 100% decided that they are not canines and that they need to do what people do. with people and I'll give you all some examples. So when I'm here recording,

they have to go to a doggy daycare because they snort, they make a lot of noise, I can't have them here. And is that a bird, Kylie? We have a bird listener right outside the window of our New York studio. Ryan's trying to get it. It's trying to nest right outside. Is it going?

Is it a bunch? Are they making a nest? Are they mating? I think they're gonna make a home. home there. Anyway, so my dogs, pumps, at the doggie daycare, they have cameras and you can log in and watch what the dogs are doing. So I log in and they are sitting up on this little like caught away from all of the other dogs, staring at all of the other dogs in complete judgment. It's unbelievable. And so then I get their report cards at the end of the day. And it's like,

Tubby and Chau-Chi sure do like spending time with each other. And now it's been discovered. They only play with other Frenchies. So on top of them thinking they're better than everybody else, they're straight up fucking racist against all other breeds of dogs. They only want to play with Frenchies. So this weekend, I thought, you know, I'm going to really spend a lot of time with them. We're going to get back to our roots. I'm really going to mother them. We're going to find out what's going on. So I take them to the dog park. These little twasel little twats. I sit on the bench. They sit right under me on the bench, right under the and just watch the other dogs play as they, though like, oh, this is what we do. Then the lady

that was sitting next to me stood up and laughed and then they hopped their asses up next to me and there's just the three of us sitting on the bench inside the dog park and they're watching all of the other dogs as though they are human beings watching them. And then so I thought, I'm going to switch it up or go to a different dog park on Sunday. So we go to a different dog And it's the same bullshit. However, there was a Frenchie there. And they did play with this Frenchie. And then all of the other dogs just snotty is all get out.

I just, I've created monsters is what I've done with these dogs. Yeah. Well, you've created monsters. And to be fair, to Tebbing Chacha, in New York City, they get to go to grocery store. They get to get a restaurant. I mean, they get to do a lot of human stuff. So they probably are a little bit insulted when they have to do dog stuff. Here's the thing.

Like 18 months, no, two years ago, if you would have talked about, you know, watching the dogs on the camera at the doggy daycare, I would have been like, it's fucking crazy. I don't know why people do that. Now that I have dogs, like Frenchies that I just love and take to daycare, I say something to the owner like every two or three weeks about, When are you going to get cameras? Like I really think that I would be the person that sat on their camera and just had their phone propped up and watch what their dogs were doing all day. Yeah, I watch. I haven't checked on them today.

But the first week that they went and I checked on them. And it's just, it's really kind of embarrassing. Like all the other dogs are so excited to be there and they're running around and they're enthusiastic and they're playing with each other. And they're like, it's this huge treat. And then my dogs are just, you know, it's like I've just marched them to the penitentiary or something. And then here's where it gets worse.

So then Chauta will escalate it. She'll hop off the little cot and then she just sits right by the door just staring at it. I'm talking for hours. I'll go back and she's just like, like, when is she going to get me? When is she going to get me? And then so I don't know, from dog parks to the doggy daycare, the situation with my dogs is bad. An elitist. Racist.

I mean, straight up. I will not play with any other species of dog, any other color of dog, unless it is, in fact, a French bulldog. And Chachot particularly hates German shepherds. I don't know what's going on with that. I thought French, German, and that goes back, obviously, a long time. But we'll be walking down the streets, and she's completely fine, walking on the streets in Manhattan, and then there's a German shepherd.

And I know, like, I have to completely, she goes at the German shepherd. And I look at the owner, and I'm just like, I'm sorry. And the German Shepherd's always like, bitch, what's wrong with you? Yeah, it's nuts. All right, welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. All right.

We have next up, we have some reviews from Kylie. Hi. I've got a five-star review title, do not drink anything while listening. And that mom 85 says, I cannot tell you how many times. I've almost choked laughing at these perfect women after a poorly timed drink of water. They're exactly what our country needs right now, and I could not be more grateful that I found I've had it. I can't refer to any politician without nicknames anymore. And Titty Baby is my favorite, is my new favorite everything.

Thank you for being my light and the dark part of U.S. history. How nice is that? It's really nice. Very, very nice. All right, who's next? Okay, this one is five stars. Caller Go Ahead said, Love These Ladies, and they write, I love how real these ladies are. It's like the worst, most inept person you know became self-aware and owns their fault

while realizing the system they live in is totally fucked and also won't tolerate fascism. That sounds underhanded, but I mean it sincerely. Like the plot of, quote, I keep deleting my texts and voicemail apps, but I'm self-aware about it, not being entirely my fault, and I am mad at the tech companies for even making it possible and for constantly changing things for no reason except profit. So legit. In real life, we would be BFFs. That's so nice. I love it. Pumps and all of her phone problems. Oh, my pet problems. Kylie, you did fix my stuff, though.

I do have a little issue that I'm going to talk to you about after work hours. Sure. Is Kylie your genius bar? He's my genius bar. Yeah. Absolutely. Okay. All right. Pumps, I have a new story I want to share with you. Kylie pop this up. A tech company launched an AI Jesus that you can talk to for $1.99 a minute. And there is a video that explains this, which we are going to play for you now. I hear your request for prayer. Dot break, Father God, I lift my dear friend, Krista, before you dot breaking.

For $1.99 per minute, the tech. company just like me is taking having a personal relationship with Jesus to new levels. The Psalm says, the Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. Users of the platform can join video calls with an AI-generated Jesus that remembers previous conversations. This is not a replacement for human connection. At the same time, we're, you know, people are spending so much time in social world just

scrolling. It's part of a larger boom of AI tools designed with religion in mind, from AI Jesus's to Buddhist priests like this one. It's a source. Emmy is supposed to be a Zen friend, someone who helps human beings in their Zen practice. I tried just like me as AI Jesus, first asking it a simple question. How many books of the Bible are in the New Testament? The New Testament contains 27 books.

Then I made it a little more complicated. Is AI going to take our jobs? The scriptures remind us that every skill is a gift from God. He calls us to be faithful stewards of those gifts. Seek wisdom and prayers as you navigate changing seasons. But when I asked it to pray for me, things didn't go quite as smoothly. May you give her peace that passes all understanding dot break. Guide her steps with your loving light dot break.

Deep breath, may she feel hope surrounding her dot breaks. May the Holy Spirit gently calm, her mind now, dot brace. Here's the thing. They're going to make a gazillion dollars because people are going to call in there and just think that they take their personal relationship to a whole new level. But it goes back to people, I mean, it's bad enough, the isolation, especially young people that are so addicted to their phones. Now they're going to have AI Jesus to talk to.

I mean, the whole thing is depressing. Yeah, I just, just any sort of technology that will continue the grift of this death cult, which are white evangelical Christians. I just fundamentally oppose. These people are really the root of this MAGA movement. That's where all of the support is. These are the people that won't stand up for marginalized people. And so now they're going to have a robot.

And it's just more than I can take. Everybody knows I've had it with religion, particularly white Christian nationalists. Can't stand them. All right. Moving along, speaking of white Christian nationalists, you know that I do quite love. of a Republican scandal involving sex, gay sex, or cross-dressing or anything of that nature. So everybody knows about Big Titty Brian,

the husband of Christy Noe. And I don't have a problem with Big Titty Brian. I just have a problem with he and his wife's hypocrisy and gaslighting the American public saying, we have a godly marriage while she's fucking Corrie Lewandowski, and he, He's running around taking selfies on only fans with his big tits. And so I think it's really interesting that the number one scapegoat the last few years has been trans people, which everybody knows is like less than 1% of the population.

Yet there is this massive, massive, massive, disproportionate response to this. You always hear everybody, you know, on the in the right wing media spaces, what's a woman? You know, like that one's a woman. Is it birthing people? And they're just fucking lose their minds about shit that they will never encounter nor will ever affect their lives. Right. So this is a video by Lucas Bean and his Instagram handle is Luke 360. Okay.

Why conservatives are obsessed with trans people. There's a psychological reason for that. And I have a feeling you know what it is. In 1996, psychologist Henry Adams at the University of Georgia put men in a lab and measured their physical response while watching different types of adult content. And the results are wild. Over 50% of the men with the highest scores on the homophobia scale showed a physical response to gay content.

The men that were not homophobic? Less than one in four responded at all to gay content. Psychologists call this reaction formation. When people feel shame about something inside themselves, they don't deal with it. They attack others for what they see in themselves. The louder the outrage, the deeper the shame. This is why the most anti-gay politicians keep getting caught in airport bathrooms. This is why grinder crashes every time the Republican convention comes to town. This is why the men screaming the loudest about trans people can't stop thinking about trans people. They're not protecting their

values. They're scared you'll see their search history. So, well, well, well, we had long suspected. such a scenario took place. And I would say that if I were a dictator, I would for a day, what I would do is I would line up all the penises of every member of Congress and the Senate. And I would hook their penises up to this testing that Lucas here talks about. And I would play various different types of porn. Of course, I would have it live stream so everybody in the whole country could enjoy who is getting an erection, Lady Graham, when they watch certain types of porn. And so the point of this is that nobody gives a shit if somebody's gay. Nobody gives a shit if somebody's trans. Nobody gives a shit if big titty Brian wants to have big tities. What we care

about is the hypocrisy, ostracizing people during the day that you're fetishizing at night. And now the science backs it all up. All of these homophobic men probably like to watch gay porn. And here's the thing. There's nothing fucking wrong with it. Who gives a shit? They do. They're embarrassed that they like penis. And so I just want to put up this next one. And this is important. Brian Nome reportedly told his Dom, he has this Dom on Onlyfans. He wants to be a trans, bimbo slut named Crystal. And here's the thing. I want to live in a world where Big Titty Brian gets to be a trans bimbo slut named Crystal. Because I think if that's what he wants to do, swing for the fences.

It's a free country. But Christy Nome wants to live in a world where she kidnaps kids and sends people off to concentration camps and dehumanizes them and has a police force that shoots innocent protesters. And so, I mean, these fucking fascist pumps are just more than I can take. But it was before Trump, all of these sanctimonious Bible thumping Christians. I always know when they're wound up about gays. And now you know the ones that are wound up about trans issues. These are the people that pull an all-nighter, Yankin off to transport.

That's just what's happening. I will just say this for the listener. You, the science has finally caught up with this theory that you, I mean, you have been on this for 20 years. Like if the louder the screamer, the louder about the faith, the louder about the sex, how pure they are, the worse it is in private. And every single time, correct, correct, correct. Because if you don't give a shit, you're not talking about it all the time. Which is why if I was dictator for a day, I would out every single one of these motherfuckers, starting with Lindsay Graham. Little Moses Mike Grindr, Johnson.

I want Ted Cruz's cock. If we can find it, if it's not inverted, I want that thing hooked up. I want to see what it reacts to. I think we know because Ted being the patriot that he is, on the anniversary of 9-11 a few years ago, he liked a porn tweet. Then he blamed, you know, some poor intern that had nothing to do with it. When everybody knows it's spankaholic Ted Cruz in there hitting the pounding this. like button for sure okay i have a funny story you know how i penis shame everyone and i am a firm believer my theory is you can always tell when a man has poor sexual performance or a small penis

because they have big trucks with big tires or big motorcycles or you know they tell you how big they are okay so i ran into a girl different girl than the name dropper we're talking and i was like are you dating, blah, blah. She's like, oh my God, you're not going to believe this. So I got out on a state with this guy. He takes me to the lake. He's like, let's drive around on my boat, which I'm like, okay, cool. She said it's one of those big cigarette boats, like the biggest boat on the lake. It's so loud, you can't hear anything. I mean, she's like, it is so big and ridiculous and so loud, I'm embarrassed to be on it. And of course, I had sex with him. And his penis was so small. Like, I could not believe how small.

His penis was, I could have told you that from jump. The minute. So it's a micropine. Let me ask you this. It's a micropine we're dealing with you. Micropeen. Okay. So let me ask you this.

Did you have the respect for me and the listener to ask the follow-up questions such as these? Was he at all a quick shot in addition to being a micro penis? Did you ask, did you have the decency for myself and the listener for us to know those details? Okay, I took a victory lap so quick about, I knew it. No follow-up questions. No fault. But I do know, it couldn't have been that fast because it was so small, like it had trouble staying on the mark if you get my draft.

So it was a teeny teeny one. I kept flopping out. Oh, really? No. That's bad. Wow. But the biggest boat on the lake, the loudest. I mean, I did take my victory lap too soon.

I did. Smallest penis on the lake as well. So, Kylie, do we know about, so here's the porn tweet and you'll see the date is 9-11. Yeah. I kind of remember doggy style in that picture from the, I don't know. You have always liked it from behind. I do like it from behind, I will say. Oh, you're right.

I see it. There is a doggy style situation here. See? Well, look at. Look at the still traps on time. I just remember what we're talking about it. Look at that still trap memory. She remembers the important.

Yeah, you can see she's watching a couple do do doggie style. Yeah. Uh-huh. Ted probably likes to watch too. I could see him totally being like a Jerry Falwell type that likes to sit in the corner and jack off where people have sex. That would not surprise me. Poor Heidi. which is why. Oh my God.

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For a limited time, our listeners are getting a free shimmer face oil on their first purchase when they use code had it at checkout. Just head to jones roadbeautcom and use code had it at checkout. after you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Speaking of quickshod's jackrabbits and all of this, I've been remiss in sharing with you that at my gym where I work out, I work out with this trainer. She's darling.

You've met her before. So there's a guy who's always there around the same time we are. And I've nicknamed him the Jack Rabbit because he works out solo, but his exercise techniques are very like in dance you have like double count you know that you have one two three four and they have one end two and three and four in so he like every time i everywhere i go he's always there and it's the gym is like four stories but he's always kind of around and every exercise he does is a jackrabbit gyration in double count so he and it all seems to be centered around the abs and i just saw him before we came here and she goes oh there's jack rabbit and there's

There's one where he's like on the mat and he's on like his side on his forearm and he has one arm up and he's just hip thrusting in the middle of the gym. And it's just it's so alarming to see it. And then he goes to the machines and everything's just like he had the cable things. You look at him. He's just like this. It's so bizarre. Then on Sunday I was in there working out and there was this guy. He had to have been like six foot six, right?

big guy. He was pretty cute too. I couldn't, I didn't really get a gay d'ar peeing, but you know, sometimes in New York it's kind of hard to tell. But he was a good, good looking guy. And so he's doing these exercises and then all of a sudden he just pops up into a handstand, which is really impressive considering his hype. And then he started like just clapping his feet like a goddamn seal in the handstand. And he was walking around and doing all of these like maneuvers. So I've decided, I believe that I'm on to forming a new scientific theory here that I wanted to share with you and the listener. I think that some of these showboaters at the gym, like the aforementioned Jack Rabbit Jirator and the 6'5-inch clap your feet in a handstand

like a seal man. I think that this is some foreplay. like they're trying to be as sexual as they can at the gym. So then they see everybody's reaction and then they're going home and beating off to it later. They're going to the steam room and beating off. Because in both instances, their exercises are so bizarre and both very sexual. Like the jackrabbit gyrator, everything he does looks like he's fucking somebody in fast forward speed. like every single exercise is like it's it's like oh my god you know this guy's a quick shot yeah and then the handstand guy is when he claps his feet like this then he brings them down

like this and then he starts like doing his knees out like this in the handstand like it i i don't know i i'm still developing this this theory um okay question do you think the gyraider is hitting on you like being around doing the stuff while you are Do you think it's kind of like a signal? He would probably be hitting on. He'd probably be more attracted to my trainer than me. She's 24. I mean, just a smoke show to end all smoke shows.

I don't know because everywhere we go. And I mean, she goes, there's the Jack Rabbit. And he walked. And then we go over to the mat to do like apps. And then he's over there. And the exercising is just, I ask. I said, have you ever seen this before? Is this like maybe something in the bowels of TikTok? Is this some new work? She was, I have never in my life seen this. And she's been a fitness

trainer for like five years. And she's like, I've never seen anything like this. He's going to injure himself. So I don't. How old is? How old the guy is? Okay. So here's the thing. Let me paint the visual of the guy. So he looks like he just came. from a hike in Colorado. He has that kind of granola affect, not full-blown hippie, but like a mountain man style affect. He's clean-shaven and all of that, but he wears like, I would say, mountain-style workout clothes, like what a hiker would wear. And he has on like hiking-style tennis shoes. And I mean, it looks like he just came from like, yeah, I was just on a hike in Aspen, you know? It kind of has that kind of like, yep,

be hiker, but still a mountain guy. So I can't really wrap my head around what's all going on at this gym. Other than I do think that, I think it was our friend Renee Stubbs said there should be a reality show about gym drama. Yeah. And I think there really should be because there's every single time I work out, there's somebody that I could just hyper fixate on and just study their entire everything. that they're doing and particularly the jack rabbit gyraider and um the handstand guy i'm i mean i will

tell you i think it's creepy as fuck and all that but i'm really impressed that a guy can stand on his hands it was so impressive and do the feet and then pull him down like and he did it's multiple but it's impressive he did it multiple times at one point i watched him do it and it was probably about a minute, minute and a half presentation in the middle of the gym. And he stopped and I was like, I like kind of clapped. And then I realized he just kept doing it over and over and over again. Like he'd do some squats and then to go back to the handstand. Like he had put it into his program. It's pretty fascinating stuff, which brings me to like, I'm such a boring worker out of right. Yeah.

Same. All right. Let's listen to voice. memos. Okay, the first one, Jen, there's going to be some really interesting tidbits in here for you. Okay. This is Cindy. Okay. Hey, Jennifer. Hi, Pumps. Hey, Kylie. Cindy here. I've been meaning to send you this. I've had it for a while, but Melania's quote unquote press conference finally pushed me over the edge. To go back a little, my best friend and I, both New Yorkers, both single women of a certain age, meaning we're about as ancient as pumps are really big travelers. And last fall, we went to Slovenia of all places,

which is the birthplace of you know who. It's a beautiful country. And in our own personal protest, we dubbed it our Take Back Melania tour. We drove throughout the country blasting, I've had it, and IHIPP news, and asking people if they would take her back. Here's the thing. No one there wants her back. Not a single person would claim her. And in fact, they were nicer to us when they realized we didn't want her either. So here's what I've had it with. Her stupid, fake-ass accent. Not one person that we spoke to there

sounded remotely like her. She's making that shit up, and I have had it. There used to be a statue in her hometown to honor her that was made of wood. Someone burnt it down. They made another one out of bronze, and last year, someone chopped it off at the feet and stole it. It was not us.

That was before we went. Anyhow, Kylie should pop up those statues at some point so you can see how ugly they are. Anyhow, keep up the good fight. Jennifer, now that you're in New Yorker, I hope to run into you at the next Antifa meeting or in line to pick up our text from George Soros. And Kylie, speaking of picking up, please pick up after your dog. Thanks. Yeah, that is so good.

Did you find these articles, Kylie? Yeah, okay. So I looked into the statue. Okay. This is the first one that went up. What? This is wood. No.

It's the ugliest fucking... No. Ever seen. And she probably lit that on fire herself. No. Here's what's interesting. And she alluded to this. This isn't an article from 2020.

Wooden Melania Trump statue was replaced with bronze after an arson attack. So someone burned it down. So then they make this bronze one. Ugly as shit as well. And this is 2025. Melania Trump statue goes missing. So they just keep stealing these statues. So they fucking hate her.

Hate. Oh my God. You know, here's the thing. We know that Melania, I don't know if she was a victim initially in this whole Epstein thing. And I think that we could deduce that potentially she was, that she was recruited at a very young age by these model type predatory. men that worked for Epstein that brought over these young Eastern European people. In the Epstein files, there are suggestions that, you know, Trump is banging her on Jeffrey Epstein's plane coming out to everybody. She's a hot piece of ass. There's also a video

that I think is pretty interesting online, if you guys will find it. It is of Donald Trump and Melania at horse race. And he introduced. produces her as Melania now and says she's from Austria. And she's not from Austria. And so I thought that was just really interesting. I've seen this floating around online. And let's see if they can find it pumps. Because whatever she was initially, she certainly morphed into a hardcore, you know,

sociopath, whack job, Melania. Did you find it, Kylie? Good afternoon to you. Well, thank you very much. How are you? I'm fine. This lady right here next year. This Malania canouse from New York, from Austria.

Hello, the Melania. Nice to meet you too. Are you here to buy Churchill down by chance? Well, I'm serious. Okay. Interesting that she's from Austria there because she's fucking not from Austria. And so I just think that is pretty fascinating. I mean, was she lying to Donald Trump about where she was from?

Did she come over with her? this crop, and I'm just pontificating here, and she come over with this crop of Eastern European models that Amanda Ungaro, who Trump had deported, did she come over with all of them? I just, I think that Melania's entrance into the United States is shrouded in some form of controversy. The whole Einstein visa is totally bullshit. She doesn't speak. She does not speak five languages. She speaks to, which is better than me. Okay. I, I, I only speak one language. But I agree that the accent is put on.

And I think that whatever the initial story was, she is so far gone. She is such a monster. I think Melania Trump is an absolute fucking monster right there with Gilein Maxwell. I don't think she gives a fuck about humanity, people, any of it. None of it. What was shocking to me in that video, she hardly had an accent at all. And now it's such a heavy accent.

So it has never occurred to me that the accent was fake. But after hearing that from the caller, I wouldn't be surprised. She's obviously not fake. She is from Slovenia. Her parents are here. There's no question about that. I think that she probably has that accent because I don't think she ever fucking speaks English because nobody wants to talk to her.

You know, I think she probably talks to her parents and Barron who speaks Slovenian. And that's the end of it. That's the end of her day. So then she gets drug out to do these humiliating press conferences, wherein she defends her pussy grabbing husband. And she's saying shit like, Donald is only fire. I'm just like, shut the fuck up. All of you, I can't take it.

But I think what's more interesting about the accent is why we're. were they saying that she's from Austria? Who knows? I mean, there's a lie at the bottom of it somewhere, at least one, because these people live online. I get straight to Jeffrey Epstein. I do. I agree.

I just, that's my gut. I just think she was from the Jeffrey Epstein crop. Why on, why else would she walk out and do that bat shit crazy press conference? Why? No reason. If you did not meet Donald Trump through Jeffrey Epstein, you, no, that's not how we met here's how we met and you'd never repeat it again, ever. And it'd be like if all of a sudden I started saying, no, I really,

Angie didn't hire me to decorate her house. She really hired me to put on a baby shower for her. She hired me to be a party planner, not an interior designer. You know, just some bullshit lie. And I did a press conference about it and all this shit, which tells me 100% Jeffrey Epstein introduced him. The rumor is that she slept with Epstein before she slept with Trump. Yeah.

Which there's a part of me, listener. I fucking hate Melania Trump, but these young girls that are 1920 passed around with all these sleazy, disgusting old men. I have empathy for all of that. But I don't have empathy for Melania. I just don't. She's had multiple ample opportunity to stand up for people, for justice. She's in a position where she could write a tell-all. and end this presidency once and for all.

And she fucking chooses to do nothing but her bat shit press conferences. Yeah. And you know, I guess in the documentary, she made a big deal about how they met. So I think there's a lot of smoke around totally met. Totally. And I think Gailene and all these other people like, yeah. Jeffrey used to bang her and then he gave her to Trump. I mean, that's probably what's going on.

And here's the deal. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter. what matters more is not Melania's involvement in that. It's the president's involvement in that. I mean, initially at that point, Melania was a victim. Right. That's hard to think about now, but initially, if that theory is true. Okay, Kylie, who's next? Okay, up next, we've got Molly. Hi, Kylie. Hi, Jennifer. Hi, Angie. My name's Molly. I work in healthcare. I work specifically with oncology and blood disorder patients. And I just, you know, first to say, wanted to say that I am a huge fan of both the

podcast, but I wanted to share it and I've had it. I have had it with male patients in my clinic and really, I guess, in the world. I have had it that they don't know how to schedule their own appointments, that they don't know how to talk on the phone with people, that they don't, they need to like check in with their wives when I ask simple questions like, you know, what are your symptoms? I've had it that they'll show up to their doctor's appointments and not know what the appointment is even for. I've had it with these women enabling like this man-baby behavior. I, it's like, I just want to ask, like, hey, like, when is this guy going to care about his own health concerns? Like, I mean, he's here not with a

small thing. So I've had it. I've had it with the women, you know, enabling these men. And I've had it with the men like, you know, basically using their, you know, their sisters, their mothers, their wives, their girlfriends, their whoever is doing it. I've had it with them using them as, like, personal assistance and care managers. That's a great one. PEMS, you care to weigh in about women enabling their men in their life? Well, as we all know, I mean, first of all, I enabled my children to a degree that is criminal. I'll start there. You really did.

I mean, I just. You still do. I feel like I'm better now. Oh my God. Luke, I'm the worst at. And I don't know if it's just he's the baby or he manipulates me the best. But when I was married, thank you God, I'm not anymore. whatever the Catholic thing. I just can't I even tell you all the shit every single thing like I had to

be drug into it. Well, I'm going to go to the doctor. Well, do you want to make the point all that shit. Like I hate it. I can't believe I did it. I fielded a thousand phone calls a day over stupid shit. So I mean been there done that spot it got it saying. I'll tell you listener this is a story I forgot about, but everybody knows my husband, Josh, is a hypochondriac. And Angie's ex-father-in-law now deceased, also a hypochondriac, clinical psychological case study of hypochondria. It makes Josh look like. It's fake. Yeah.

So we were at this, I believe it was a t-ball after party. When you have young children, you're tortured to sign them up for things like teabal. Angie's ex-husband was the t-ball coach of my son and her daughter's team. They were the pirates. Her husband was nauseating, insufferable TMI, overcomplicator of a coach. They were like four, right? I mean, like nobody is athletic. They sit down and are digging for ladybugs and the grass while the ball's in play, right?

And we're talking, these are not, these are four-year-olds. These are not the smartest people among us, nor the most athletic. So he's acting like they're playing in the World Series, right? So we end up going afterwards to this burger joint. And Angie and I knew, she's like, whatever you do, avoid Larry. Avoid Larry, avoid Larry. Larry was father-in-law. So I'm like, I knew because he's always like calling 911 and the ER, blah, blah, blah,

false alarm, false alarm. And all of a sudden, Angie and I look over and Larry has Josh Welch fucking cornered. And he is going through a complete. medical ailment from start to finish. This goes on for like 45 minutes. Angie and I are sitting over there eating our French fries and our cheeseburgers. I mean, literally cackling. And Josh keeps looking like for us to, you know, come save him and we're like, no, no asshole,

you're on your own. And I remember we left and he was like, God damn it, you and fucking pops saw me over there. I'm in there just in the trenches taking grenades and y'all didn't fucking do anything. Do you know how many elements I had to hear from? this guy, I went through like six or seven. It's unbelievable. Unbelievable. I think the story was in the book, but this is a true stride. It's worth retelling. Like everybody knew he was a hypochondriac. Literally like three or four nights a week, he went to the emergency room for shits and giggles. Like nothing was wrong. He would just go and say something was wrong. It was the same symptoms.

Okay, so we're at my mom's house for some kind of family function. We're all sitting around a big table. There's probably like 15 people around the table. And he stands up in the middle of eating and walks out the front door. Not a word, nothing, just stands up, walks out the front door. And I can't remember who said it, but somebody was like, what's going on with him? And I can't remember who said it. By this time, of course, Kirk's running after him. My brother says, probably headed off to the emergency room.

And then Kurt walks in a few minutes later. So what's going on with your dad? He's going to go to the emergency room. It was like you could set your watch by it on Thanksgiving and Christmas. I remember like decorating cookies or something with the kids when they were little. And it was like, what are you doing on Thanksgiving? I was like, well, there'll be an emergency room run at some point. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

And one of my friends was like, what? I was like, oh, no, no, no. It's like every holiday. There's an emergency room visit. And she was like, whatever. And my other phone was like, no, that's true. It happens every time. So then like, that was like in the afternoon.

That night I texted and say, hey, just got the emergency room call. And she was like, are you fucking kidding me? I was like, no. It's right there right now. Yeah. Yeah. I remember it. It was nonstop.

It was. And I think finally, like when he did get sick and did ultimately kick the back at, everybody was just like, okay, I feel like you've been. doing this right like I mean it was like he's going to the emergency room was like okay let me go shopping and you know wash my hair nobody you know you cry wolf enough time it's a great way to soften the blow to the actual death though that's you know just feigning death a near death experiences for like a decade and then when it finally happens you're like well I feel like we've been kind of going he just finally took it over the finish line finally he was successful

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Yes. Yes. Yeah. So I'll never forget where I was. I was in the bookstore. And this was before Instagram and all of this. And I was buying a travel book on Italy. It would have been the year 2005-ish, 2006.

Yeah. And pumps call, I'm bent down. Like, okay, I'm offy coast. I think I went this book. I'm bent down. I like down. My phone says, incoming call pumps. And it would have been one of those like flip phones, right?

Like a Motorola flip phone. And I open it up and I say hello. And she says, she's dead. And I go, who? And she goes, my mother-in-law, I'll talk to you later. Click. That was it. She's dead.

She's dead. She's dead. That was it. That was the end of it. It was informative yet effective. Here's what I like. Here's what I like about us. We are so fucking sanctimonious on this little podcast of ours talking about Melania being a sociopath. And here we are making light of your deceased in-laws, ex-in-laws. Yeah. And their deaths. The hypocrisy is really rich with us, isn't it?

Yeah. No, I'm a terrible person. I don't think I'm as bad as Melania, but I am not. I mean, I mean, I can be really shitty. Here's the thing I want to say in your defense. Your ex-husband put you through unimaginable, unimaginable things. The gaslighting, the lying, the infidelity, all of it wrapped up in this. Godly marriage. Well, that, the godly marriage was such fucking bullshit. knew that from the jump. But what fucking grossed me out about you and Kirk was this constant,

well, you know, she's princess. Whatever princess wants, we're going to give it to princess. It's like princess enabling syndrome. It's always just like he'd come home and I'd be at your house. He goes, what are you and Jennifer doing, princess? What's my princess doing? I just want to go, Kirk, put a sock in it. But call on our fucking princess. And maybe that's just something tangible. I could, because I was so mad at him for how much he hurt you. And maybe that was just something, I was just like, fucking shut up. Does it make you feel like you're not a prick and a cheater and a cheater and a liar and a gaslighter? Probably did.

Yeah. But I will say this. It's not that you're a bad person. It's that when you are married to somebody and you realize, oh, fuck, I fucked up. This is a bad choice. And I'm three kids to chart into it. Right. This is not like I can.

just take it back or I can just eat it, you know, and say, okay, that take it as a loss. I mean, you're in this thing. It's difficult to get angry at the person with whom you have to share the house, share the mortgage, share the kids with because you have to live with them. So then you jump to who made them? Right. Oh, yeah. Who is responsible for this motherfucker.

And I know with Josh, like I went through a solid 10 years where I was just like, who fucking invented this person, who made this person? I did take it. And it's easier to live with that. And I think it's probably going to have so many listeners commenting in the comment section because, you know, it's all high times and, you know, great sex and all this shit. And then you get down to this horrible mistake you made, you know, in partnering with people. Fortunately, Josh and I did the therapy and got through it all, and we're a better couple for it.

But there was a time where it was fucking rough where I was like, I really did screw the pooch on this thing. And if I can hate everybody who had anything to do with the night that he and that his mother and his father had sex. I want to go to the inception of it. That's how pissed I am. That's how bad this was. Yeah. I want to rewind the clock all the way. Or I'd be like, how did these parents allow this?

And I'm like, they're crazier than he is. But I go in the emergency room. Right. We're at the emergency room and we're doing all this crazy shit. And at the end of the day, when you realize you made a terrible mistake, like, I'm, I've never been divorced without kids, but I think that, like, I've had clients where it's like you're divorced without kids. It's like, okay, we're going to move on.

It's not that big of a deal. But when you fucking realize that you have fucked your life up, like so far beyond repair, like it is so fucked up, like stage five, DefCon fucked up. And you have three kids, little kids. Then you're like, I hate him. I hate his parents. I hate my parents. The person I hate the most in all this is fucking me.

Like I fucked it up so bad. That is a realization that's just like three kids, three. I remember, I remember smoking six with you on my front porch. And you had so few coping skills. I was so shocked at some of the stuff you would say. He would say, I wish I would have never had my kids. And I was like, that's not even an option. Like you fucking have your kids.

You can't just wish that they didn't exist. But in your mind, if it wasn't picket fence, Jesus, you know, curated this life for me. You didn't want any of it. And then also, I will say I was shocked that you would always say that you just wished that he would die all the time. Yeah. I mean, to be fair, I put myself back. in that situation. I feel like it solves more problems. You know what I mean? Like I'm not saying it's a good solution, but I'm just saying it was to the point that I just, I wish you would

just have a wreck on the way home from work. And like that it would. I remember. See, and I, this is where you and I disagree. I, I don't, I don't think that's helpful to anybody. No, I'm not saying it's rational. But I mean, obviously. But I just- You're a cold-blooded killer pumps. Right. No, but I mean, there were, that's how bad the despair was. No, I get it.

I get it. Like an answer. Not like that. Well, I think that it's not, it's not the despair. The way I interpreted it at the time and still do interpret it is that you were sold this bill of goods from your mom, from your church. This is what good girls get. And then you got the crack smoker hooker fucking.

fucking husband. That's who you got whose license plate said spanky. And so then you're sitting on my front porch going, this was not the contract nor the information that was presented to me when I signed up for this. Therefore, I would like for him to be dead. And I wish these kids out of existence because I do not know how to deal with this other than us being the perfect family. And I think that in that regard, you're what some people could think sociopathic or homicidal feelings, make perfect sense because you either had to be all perfect or non-existent. That was my interpretation at the time. I think that's exactly, exactly how it was.

Exactly. One million percent. Poor pump. She really went through it. I did. We did. I remember you were hurting so bad. Look how sane and wonderful I am now.

I know. You're one of America's top podcasters. which says a lot about America. None of it good. Me as your co-host. This is really a damning indictment on the United States of America and where we are now. Yeah. Yeah.

But now you're, I mean, now I have to say you're so regarding him, you're very healthy about like, that's his world. I mean, it's, it's listener to update you. Do you don't want him dead any longer, do you? I want I hope for his success. His health and success is the best thing for my kids and I want that for him. I truly do. I know. I know you do. And you're glad that your kids exist. Most days. Most days. Yeah. Yes. I do. I am. Yeah. I know. I think you're a great mom and I think you've been you've you've you've been for him a place of I mean you've you've finally put up boundaries and you know you've been a place that he knows he

he can't take his crazy to. And in many ways, that's the best way to help somebody that has all of those issues. Yeah. But it took a long fucking time and a lot of. Should we do one more callers at the end? I think that's a good place to end it. Okay. That's the end.

That's all everybody gets. Does that I want you of Janet Jackson? That's the end? No. Wasn't that a video? Yes. It was in the 80s, right? Yeah.

Where is Jan. Where is? Rhythm Nation. I think she just had a, you know, she was pro trunt. So I kind of, are you still in denial that Michael Jackson was a pedophile? No, I just had this big conversation about this. Like, I can call out everybody, but Michael Jackson, it's just shows just like my ability to have cognitive. To be MAGA.

Yeah. I mean, it's a real indictment. I thought about it the other day because you would just defend Michael Jackson all the time. And I was just like, one minute. Then I saw it leaving Neverland. And I was just like, do you believe it now? 100% 100%. It's so sad. Yeah. It's really bad. Really. It's so fucked up too because like I love his music. You know, did you ever see Michael Jackson the musical? Yes. Love so good. Yeah. And I probably am going to go see the movie. What is it based on the musical? Well, it's April 24th. His nephew's playing Michael Jackson. and it's right around like the bad tour, like a biodoc or what, the same people that made

Queen or Bohemian Rhapsody are doing it. So I probably will see it. But I just, every time I listen to his music, I'm like, he is a fucking pedophile. You're choosing to listen to a pedophile. I scold myself, but I don't change it. I mean, you know, anything from like the Jackson Vive all the way up to Thriller and, you know, beyond. I was going to note that when I watched the Melania documentary. She, a handful of times, said Michael Jackson is her favorite artist. So I just think that goes hand in hand. Really? There's a whole scene in the car where she sings. She does car karaoke singing Billy Jean. What? Well, you place you and you just sit there and you just watch it. Okay. Tell me what I'm supposed to say. Billy Jean, not my lover. No, I'm not going to sing.

in the accent right but what was the statement when we said what did she say in the she sings she sings with her accent she's singing belies she sound not good i want you to do it well i'm not no i'm not going to sing i'm a bad singer but i will say michael jackson is my favorite artist i believe he's innocent of all charges much like my husband donald As a student of palatirater, history, my husband being an on an unifier, she's such a fucking kind. Can you believe she got $40 million for that? Jen, I think you can close out the show in Melania's accent. Listener, please subscribe, subscribe wherever you get, wherever you get your podcasts and you get your podcasts and

We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up, Patriots, Gaytriots, and Natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast, and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe, and reviews so that we will chart upwards with America's

greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Cicaw! A little bit more enthusiasm. Caca! That's it. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's the patriotism that this country means right there.