I've Had It - The Slobification of America

Episode Date: February 16, 2023

Jennifer and Pumps have had it with most things, but your listener submissions aren't one of them. From your love/hate relationship with old people and their cellphones to cyclists in spandex hogging the roads. Pumps drops a hot dating tip on how to pick up men - binoculars required.  Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

I would like to welcome everyone to this very special bonus content episode with myself, Jennifer, and I'm Angie. We call our pumps of I've had it podcast. And for those of you that follow us on Instagram, you may have seen several days ago, where pumps reveals to me that she has been feeding her dog grapes. Okay, first of all, back up. I did say he liked grapes. I didn't say I was feeding him to him all the time.

I did get some grapes. I gave him one because he was begging me about it and I thought, well, he's not gonna want this. And then he liked him. It was on one occasion and I gave him probably 10 or something, but that was two weeks ago. His all, he's not dying, he's fine. Thank you for confirming what I just said.

I know, but you make it sound like I feed him that all the time, like, hey, wake up, here's your grapes. Listener, as I was saying, we aired on Instagram that pumps likes to feed her dog grapes. And I knew that the internet would go bananas as the internet always does, especially when it involves the health, safety, and well-being of one of our little furry friends. And those of you that follow us for many years know that I am a faking five star pet owner. I can crush it.

You might even be jacked up to fucking crazy ass pet owner. Like I said, I crush it in the pet owning department. Pumps, struggles. I here, I struggled with one dog. You are a terrible pet owner That's a lie and when I posted this about you feeding the Dog grapes to get the internet and a frenzy at work like a charm And I just want to share with the listener one of the comments

Okay, that came in and it's from one K Davis, okay, and she says I Remember watching her with her dogs on TV and I thought that woman should not have dogs ever. The grapes further confirmed my thoughts, to which I automatically responded, caplock exactly. I could bore you and the listener by going through all several hundred of these comments that confirm through your bad pet owner that you shouldn't feed your dog grapes, but I don't want to belabor, you know, the point.

I know you would hate that, but I just want to go on record. I'm not a terrible pet owner. I walk him every day at least a mile, hopefully too. He gets ice water. He doesn't like tap water. He likes it to be cold. So he gets ice water. He doesn't like tap water. He likes it to be cold. So he gets ice water. He sleeps with me.

We hang out all the time. Okay, so that's not a terrible pet owner. Well, I mean, there's just there are some things that I could point out like the time that your other dog ran away and you celebrated it and then it ran back home and away and you celebrated it and then it ran back home and you were just pissed that it came back home and then you kind of like encouraged it to run away again and then celebrated that. I did not like that dog. He made Blaze Crazy, he made me crazy. I could not be happier that he has found a new home. We don't know that he's found a new home. Yes, we do because he's chipped. The people called me from the vet, but they didn't want to leave. They wanted to do like no caller IDs

to my phone, never rang. And so they have him. He's chipped. He could bring him home if they want. You know, for a fact, true serum and a polygraph that that dog is with a family. Well, no, I don't know exactly what the polygraph, but wouldn't they notify me if he died?

He ran away the second time you didn't know where he went. But anyway, this... I think he went back to the same people ahead of the first time. Operative word there, think. Here's the deal. Everybody's life is easier that scout is out of it. That's just, I'm gonna stand on that.

Okay, all right. Well, if anybody would like to weigh in on, at I've had it Instagram about the orphan that used to be Pumps' dog, please feel free to do so. Until then, let's have Kylie play for us the comments from you, the listener, telling us what you've had it with. The first one is Samantha D.

Okay. I've had it with old people. I love old people. But who the fuck gave them cell phones? They go to restaurants. They turn everything on their speaker phone. They play games. If I hear this bitch in the restaurant pop one more bubble on her game, I'm going to lose my mind. First of all, I love Samantha's accent. Love it.

Rock solid. Is it funny? I mean, these cell phone etiquette is a problem. It's a huge problem. And I think the boomers are some of the biggest offenders. Yeah, I was thinking more of the younger, but it probably is the boomers. I've reached the boomers.

The younger people don't want to ever draw attention to themselves. They're like kind of buried in their rights, but it's not noisy. They've got earpods in. These boomers are awful at technology and at phones. Yeah. The speaker phone anytime you're in public is just, you can't do it. No, it's bad. It's bad. It is terrible. Samantha, I could not agree more. And I love, especially love how you started off the I've had it with I've had it with these old people right comma. I love old people That kind of crazy, you know, contradiction. I get that in with every right because I kind of like have totally had it with boomers I'm sick to death of them, but there are several boomers that I obviously of like have totally had it with boomers. I'm sick to death of them,

but there are several boomers that I obviously love, like pumps. You are the biggest bitch on planet earth and I'm not even lying. When you turn 50, I'm gonna take the next two years, figuring out how I'm gonna torture you. No, actually the next 18 months. Do you know what's going to be so great about when I turn 50?

What? You're still going to be older. I know, but I mean, look how good I look for 60. For those of you that are just tuning in, pumps is actually very much older than me. And four years, it's not very much. Are you 52? I'm 52. Okay. But I'll be 53 at the end of the month. Oh,, it's not very much. Are you 52? I'm 52. OK.

But I'll be 53 at the end of the month. Oh, so it's four and a half years. Only for six months is that four and a half years. It would always be four and a half years. No, but I'm just saying, normally it's just four years. Right now it's four and a half. But once August rolls around, it'll just be four years again. No, but the time frame, the four months,

would always be the same. No, I know. But I'm just saying that you're not that much younger than me. I don't care how the math clicks out. I don't care how the math clicks out. This is a true statement. Jennifer is younger than pumps. That is true. But this is a true statement. Angie is so much nicer and prettier than Jennifer. It's probably true. That probably is true. Samantha, I agree with you. I've had it. I've had it with the speaker phone calls.

I've had it with boomers and how dumb they are on Facebook. They're all juiced up on Fox News and Tucker Carlson, ready to like light the world on fire. I've had it. Agree. You ready for the next one? Ready for the next one. I think you're really going to like light the world on fire. I've had it. Agree. You ready for the next one? Ready for the next one.

I think you're really gonna like this one, Jennifer. Okay. Pumps, I don't think you're gonna like it at all. Okay, okay. This is Ashley H. I have had it with Stanley Cups. I was talking to a mom at drop off, and I asked her what she got for her birthday,

and she said a Stanley Cup. And I didn't know what they were at the time and I asked her, you must really be into hockey then. And she laughed and she showed me an Instagram feed of people with their Stanley Cups. A Cippy Cup is not a fashion accessory. I have had it. Guilty. And I just am going to go on record that the Stanley Cup is the greatest invention of all time over electricity,

automobiles, it is the single greatest invention of our day. Okay, all right, here's what we're going to do. I'm going to go turn off all the breakers at your house. Okay, and then I'm going to take your car keys. But I'm going to leave you inside that house with my Stanley. With your fucking Stanley cap. And I'm also going to have your cell phone, too, since you know, no electricity. We'll see how long you love that Stanley cap.

I just think it's funny that people are so dramatically opposed to the Stanley cap. And for the record, I took two pictures last week at basketball games, both of them I had my Stanley Cup in it. Thanks. Thanks for letting me in the list. Yeah, so I. Yeah, sure. Photographic habits.

I've had it with the Stanley Cups. I've had it with people constantly having to put a beverage in their mouth all the time and take it with them everywhere. What happened where we could sit down, have a drink, have something to eat, then get up like normal people and abstain from drinking or eating for like 30, 45 minutes. It's not that big of an ask. It is just not that big of an ask

to ask people to quit schlepping their goddamn Stanley cups and slurping on them in the lipstick stains. I have had it up to my eyeballs from top to bottom. Fuck you, Stanley. Oh my God, I love Stanley. Love Stanley. Fuck, I think it's just so fantastic. It, I've had it that people cannot go an hour

without consuming something. It disgusts me. You're such a fucking bitch. It's unbelievable. You heard that real good? I was out of my stand like, oh my God, Ashley, I'm with you. I'm with you.

I think on your 50th birthday, I'll try to get you a big ground of standlings. That's nice. Thank you so much. Thank you. You'll still be older. Kylie, who's next? We got Molly P.

Okay. Hello ladies, the things that I have had it with are pajama pants, with the shower shoes and socks in public. No one wants to see that. Obviously you haven't washed your ash for the day. And it's just the slabification of America. So I've had it. Goodbye. That's a great one. Molly, I completely agree. I completely agree with the slabification

of America. We were just talking about that. In the last I've had it, the one prior to you where everybody has to carry a god damn giant beverage around with them all the time in their pajamas Which pumps has no issue going out in public in her pajamas and she wears slippers All the time to the filming of this podcast. She can't even put on normal shoes today You have a normal shoes, but I mean a lot of times you're in your slippers. Yeah, sometimes I wear my slippers out, but I'd like, if I come here, I mean, I'm not like going to the mall

in my slippers and pajama pants. I mean, I'm not saying I've never done it because I'm sure I have at some point. But I do notice when my kids wear pajama bottoms in the slides with socks, I'm always asking him, like why weren't you just get dressed? Yeah, my son, Dylan, he wears, he'll wear like pajama bottoms out.

And I'm just like, what do I do as a parent? How do I end this? Because you know, you have to pick your battles. Cause I'm like, okay, it's really not that big of a deal, he's a good person, he makes good grades. But I mean, sometimes I just wanna be like, pull yourself together. Well, but I think a lot of them that age do that.

I think it's like normal. Like they go somewhere and everybody's in pajamas bottoms. Here's the deal. You're running up to 7-Eleven, I'm gonna give that a pass. Right. The airport? No. And it's, there are people wearing pajamas on airplanes now.

And it all started when the airlines quit dressing the flight attendants' cute. They used to have these cute skirts and little cute hats and they kind of had these little like little scarfs around their necks. It's just gone downhill since they've taken away the cute airline stewardess outfits. Flight attendant. Flight attendant. Yeah. Is that offensive to fly to the next? I think so. I think so. I can't keep up. Yeah. It's just it's bad. It's bad. I do like this. She said this about the bad. That was funny. It's just it's a mental picture. I don't want. Yeah. thanks for reminding us, Poms. Okay, Kylie, who's next?

The last one is from Rachel. Okay. You know what I have had it with? These bicycle possees. There's just a ginormous group of people writing bicycles just in the road. You have a bike lane. Why are you in the middle of the road? I'm pretty sure that the

tight pants and the seat going up, the crack of their ass, is messing with their brain power. Someone help them please. Rachel, I completely agree. And I almost got into a huge fight with a bicyclist. Really? Yeah. So I'm driving to a hair appointment. And listener, I hate being late. Like it stresses me out. I would rather be 30 minutes early than two minutes late. Like it completely stresses me out of my running light because I take into account the person's feelings that I'm meeting. And so unlike other people that co-host the podcast with me, that's neither here nor there. I'm driving down the road,

and there's a bicyclist, there's probably a posse of them. And so nobody's coming in the oncoming lane, so I go around them, right? Hit a red light, and they're kind of, at this point, kind of catching up. And then I'm about to make a right turn. And as I'm turning, the guy that I passed is so mad at me. I guess because I passed him, but I passed him legally. He hits my car. Yeah, with his hand, not the bike,

but he like, as he passes, he slaps my car and he's like, fuck you. And I'm just like, okay, first and foremost, this is what happens when you get on the road motherfucker. Right. You get past. Sometimes you pass people. Sometimes you get past. It's just a part of driving.

And if you enter the road on a bike, sometimes you're going to get past and sometimes you're going to do the passing. It's just a foregone conclusion. Why on earth, this motherfucker was so but hurt that are pasting. I just, I don't understand it. I don't understand that either. And I think the biggest issue in regard to the bicyclers is when men wear those stupid bike shorts and their package, like you can see it from the bike. And I'm just like, disgusting. That should be outlawed. Pump the brakes. You can see it from the bike and I'm just like Disgusting, there should be outlawed pump the brakes

You can see their pack. What would they the bike when they're stopped at a stop sign? They like put their feet on the ground or one foot on the ground and I look back and it's just like a row of like Men and bike shorts, which is just gross. You're not answering my question. I mean, do I see their winners? No, the outline package. You see the outline. The package. You see the outline of the package. Yes, you can see the outline of the package. So the answer to your question is yes. Yes. Okay.

Next question is, when you see men on bikes, you're looking in between their legs. No, I'm looking in my rear view mirror to make sure I'm not going to run over one, and I notice they're standing there, and they have this bulge. And you see the package in the rear view mirror. Right. So I mean, I've never noticed this. Yeah, they at stop signs, they'll like hop off. I think you're probably, maybe there's some well hung cyclists around you.

You know what I should have done when I saw that is ask for his number. I mean, look at Eagle, I ever hear a sniffing out penis sizes of the cyclists. Yeah, I don't know if it was bigger or small. I just thought, why the fuck are you wearing that? Like, it looks terrible. I think they wear those because it's the friction of the seats back and forth. It makes perfect sense why they wear them.

It's like, what is a scuba diver wear the scuba suit? And because your thighs are rubbing back and forth on that seat, so you want the fabric to be taught. That, to me, makes perfect sense. I just think it looks awful. Well, I mean, I just didn't know. I didn't know you were such a packaged girl, but, you know, yeah, I learned stuff about I just ran around all day looking for bicyclists. You learn, you

learn to stuff about people every day. Every day, even people you've been friends with for 25 years. Yeah. You learn new stuff about right. Right, watch the bicyclers at a stop sign. Everyone will notice. Oh, I'm going to. Okay. I'm going to. It's a good tip. Is it, what about the girls?

Can they wear the tight riches? Yeah. Because it's just like short legging. So it's just the penis that offend you. Right, just the package like, ugh, we don't need to see that. Right. I honestly have never seen it.

Okay. We'll have to run around to the like the bike lanes. Yeah. Get your binoculars eagle eye. That's bottom out. Yeah, maybe we can write a report and submit it here on at I've had it podcast. Right.

Yes, good idea. You know what I've started doing? It's kind of a total gene x or mave. Instead of saying, I've had it podcast, I'm saying the Instagram name at I've had it podcast. It's because you're total genexor move. Instead of saying, I've had it podcast, I'm saying the Instagram name, at I've had it podcast. It's because you're so much younger than me. I just call it, I've had it.

At pumps, pumps, pumps. Okay, without further ado, I think this will conclude our bonus content. If you would like to be featured with some petty grievance that you have, please DM us a voice memo to at I've had it podcast on Instagram. And also please take time to go to our Instagram page

and talk to pumps about being a good pet owner. Oh my God, I hate you. I'm extremely happy. I'm extremely happy. Thank you so much. I love you. I hate you. See you next Tuesday. I'm happy with that. I've had it. I've had it. I've had it. I've had it.

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