I've Had It - Toddlers are Assholes

Episode Date: October 25, 2022

Toddlers are assholes...what's wrong with saying it? Jennifer and Pumps are gonna say it after they get to the bottom of which fruit is the universal sign for swingers.  Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcastFollow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

As if the McCrispy couldn't get any better, Bacon and Ranch just entered the chat. The Bacon Ranch McCrispy, available at participating with Donald blockade versus the gate. We were right out of the gates. Okay. Clap one. One.

Three. Yeah. So we're supposed to start the podcast. You want to start? Let's start. Okay. So I think the people kind of wanted us to do a podcast. You want to start? Let's start. Okay, so I think the people kind of wanted us to do a podcast.

It's kind of weird, but yeah, I'm excited about it. Especially our children were the biggest pushers of... Yes, that's true, because they all wanted to be on it. They're kind of narcissists. Did we raise narcissists? 100%. Welcome to our podcast. This is I've had it.

I'm Jennifer. I'm E and G, aka Pumps. And we have a couple of producers in here, Jen, Neely, and they're probably going to jump in because they're bossy and have strong opinions. And then we have a really, really sweet sound producer, Richard, with us. Letton for punishment working with all of us. So what have you had it with this week? Oh, yes. My number one thing I've had it with as of the last 24 hours is I bought a watermelon. I did all the little tests like knocking,

flipping, clicking. It was a winner. I was like, this is what all the YouTube videos say to do. So I get at home and not only is it shitty watermelon, it has seeds. Why do they even make watermelons with seeds anymore? So that's gonna wrap our adventure of being a podcast. And we're competing on Instagram with like fucking kittens

and dogs and you've got watermelon with seeds. That's what you've had it with. All right, let me take over. Take over. So a strangest thing happened to me this week. So I go to Walgreens to get some dental floss and some lipstick. The beauty of shopping at Walgreens is there's no sales people, right? And if you want a sales person, you really have to hunt them down,

get one that might be a little bit of a go-getter. So I'm looking at the lipstick color. And then all of a sudden this woman who is not wearing a Walgreens uniform, she's like, well, can I help you pick out the right color? I was so alarmed and thrown off guard. I was sure she was a associate. And then she had the little Walgreens tag. And she was kind of meaning the perfume counter. I do like a good Walgreens perfume. What? Yeah, I do. I get my perfume there.

Used to be at dealership, but it's, she was like Eric, McCain, Susan, Luchy, what, and we know it's called alien. You wear perfume called alien? Yes, I have for 100 years. Is that why you stink all the time? Thank you, no. I started wearing it when I smoked all the time

and it would like bathe me in the fragrance. I think I'm nose blind to alien because I've never smelled perfume on you ever. That can't be right. My laundry's have anewed together all the time so you don't smell it. I was blind. Your nose blind. Yeah.

So anyway, my my virtue of shopping at Walgreens, I think that as a consumer, you have already said, I don't want to help her because I'm going to Walgreens, right? Right. Right. And so then I get ambushed and I mean, I had had it. Where I don't mind. I buy no lipstick. Okay, let me tell you a it. I don't mind. I buy no lipstick. Okay, let me tell you a story that I haven't told you. So I'm driving in my car, mining my own business.

I'm at an intersection stop stop light. I look around as you do at an intersection just to see what the other cars are, whatever. So in a car, there's a sky in it. He smiles real big. And you know, I smile real big. I mean, not like thinking one thing. So you're flirting with a man. No, I'm not flirting with him.

I'm just like, he smiled and I smiled. That was it. So then he starts honking at me. Okay. And I look over. He had a stick out. That's not what I'm saying. Do you see the deck?

Yes, but I didn't like look look because I was so terrified. I just went, I just saw kind of the turtle head. And then that was like, knew what it was. So I was like, I'm out. And then he kept honking at me. And then I'm just like, of course, just like looking away and like floored it when the light changed. Did you call like 911 and say, Hey, there's a flasher? No, it never even occurred to me to call 911. You didn't think like maybe we need to get this person pulled over and off the street since he's...

Well, no, I never thought about it. So the Me Too movement just kind of passed right by you. I'll tell you what I really thought about doing and it was after two lights later. I wanted to, if I had it to do over again, I'd stop my car, I'd well done my window and go, let's go bend me over that fucking car right now. Because I think he was just a flasher, not really.

He was just interested in the shock value. So your biggest takeaway from, is that I should have sexually harassed him, yes. That's it. That was my takeaway. Just kind of like to, like call him out, like to shock him back. Cause I think he was doing it for shock

So to shock him back and I guess you'll let me ask you this. What if he would have been like, okay, let's go Why would it run away Never actually done it. I just wanted to be a big talk right in my mind You know how those conversations happen after I think it would have been more helpful to society at large. Had you called the police and said, there's a guy, I would just want to apologize to the listeners for all the gurgling. It's just super loud. Yes, I think that more appropriate thing would have been to get that tag. Call the police because what if this guy is like a rapist?

What if he would be advertising on? Big on fighting crime. I mean, he was in his car. It's not like he hurt me or touched me or whatever, just plus it would have made me late to my exercise class. So it's not me too, it's me one. I am me one, he first. Well, today I wanna talk about a subject

that I think you and I have felt for a very long time. And I think a lot of people might feel this, but they are scared to say it. Now I'm nervous, what are you going to say? Do you think toddlers are assholes? Of course, toddlers are assholes. I think the parents that say their toddlers aren't assholes are the assholes. Okay, funny, you should say that, people like that. Funny you should say that.

I remember it was probably around 2007. Okay, you found me, I say hello. You immediately say, Emily is such a fucking bitch. I cannot take it anymore. Which was true. Who's Emily? Emily is my daughter, who's now almost 20. I hold was Emily at the time of this phone call.

She would have been five. It started way before that though. She had a mean streak from the job. No, she totally did. The biggest asshole toddler out of all five of our kids. Emily for sure. For sure. I mean, it's not even close. I remember a few things about Emily. So we're, remember we'd drive around, you had that white suburban, which I affectionately referred to as the Petri dish. And it had all of our kids' car seats in it. And we irritated the shit

out of all of our fellow mom friends, they get they go to Target together, they take their kids to gymnastics together, lunch together. Like, why do you give a shit? Why do you give a shit? You don't have to be around us. Right. That's a win-win for them. Yeah, really. They're the only people who can tolerate each other. Everyone hates us so much, really, every time. But we've got Dylan and Emily in the second row and then the babies are in the back-back. Sam was like in kindergarten or something at the time. And we pull up, I go in to get some stamps

at the post office. You went into I Want Cards? Yeah, I get come out. Dylan is bawling crying. Stere, yeah, I show up that. You are dying laughing, cannot breathe your laughing so hard. Dylan had said, what is my mommy? Where'd my mommy go? Emily said, Dylan, your mommy gone and she never coming back any time. Anything didn't go her way. I remember we're in a Mexican restaurant named

Chicas. I think you had told her straighten it up. So then she would start crying. She cried and vomited in that order. Always like she knew she was doing it. Always happened. So we're in this restaurant. It's a very small restaurant. We are the table that everybody fucking has chips flying chips. I mean, an hour or five kids, which we always refer to her kids

and my kids were together as our kids kids because we kind of raised them together. There were some respectable civilized dress cute on a date in there. Yes, yes. And Emily starts in and it builds up to a projectile moment. There she starts the gagging and I go, don't you vomit, I will spink your bottom if you vomit. She's like, you are threatening her, threatening her total restaurant full of people. And of course she did vomit, right in the chip all. No, she vomit right in the chip all

and I'm just sitting there going, I'll mother fuck her. I mean, and I remember the people looking around it as, because I wanted to beat them. I identify as them. I did not identify as the out of control female with toddlers that you couldn't control, that projectile vomit over a dining table. I didn't identify as a person that that could happen. I just want to say for the record and I'm not trying to be a

bitch or maybe I am. When I took my kids out, just the two of us, they didn't vomit on the table. Nobody ever vomited on the table. No, it was always animal. She would get from zero to melt down in about 20 seconds. Glad that's J-thera ever. That's why I like teenagers better than Toddler. But this is why I think that people need to face it. Toddlers are assholes. Every time you're on a plane, and somebody's kicking the back of your seat, who is it?

Who's doing it? I've had it with that. I've had it. Fucking had it. How did it overall with toddlers in general. I found this blogger. Okay. And she puts this blog post under the hashtag

Mathering with Heart and Joy. She has five nanny. Let me just do a slight dramatic reading here to let you know what we're up against. So the main topic I have to talk about again is how we speak to our small children online. This is all caps. Cap-log, Donald Trump 2am, style cap-log. She's mad about it. Stop calling your small children assholes. If you are a parent and call your small child any cruel name, off or online, trust me.

They are not the asshole. You are. Yes, you read that, right? Caps lock. You are. She just, she just getting her toes wet. She says, last night before I went to bed, a friend showed me the latest,

funny viral photo that is making its rounds in the mummy community. Okay, mummy as in British meather, right, not zombies. Okay, got it. Okay. This photo is of a small child, I think, is under two. This little child was asleep with a baby bottle of milk laying beside him. Over the top of him, one of his parents or caretakers had written, I'm an asshole today in wooden little playblocks. I think that's hilarious. I mean, high five to the parents that did it. The baby, first and foremost, can't read or get on the internet.

So how all of a sudden it's a victim of its parents that just had to do all the shit you have to do with a baby all day. And none of this means you don't love your baby. I think they're inventing online. Like what this person needs is a part-time job. Richard, you've got a couple of kids, right? Yeah, I got two.

Have you ever thought like, gathered asshole? Oh yeah, yeah. They're just into everything. It's a constant deal. You never get a break. I mean, for anybody to say that their kids never an asshole just proves to me how blind they are. Here's what I think is a larger point of all of this.

When did this come about that we are supposed to get like bicycle pumps and just pump rainbows and green clovers and fucking uniforms up their ass 24 7365. I know it wasn't like that when we were young. Right. It was nothing like that. The culture that every child winners and losers don't matter. Every child that participates is recognized and afforded a trophy. What did we get?

We got honorable mention. Honorable mention. And that was only if you were. It was like four to fifth place. And sometimes you should do a science project and you wouldn't get anything. Am I not loud enough? Yeah, you didn't get shit, right?

But if you lost something, you just lost. But I recall also like the time that you called me, I called you and I go, she's such a fucking bitch. And you go, who? And I said, Emily, and I think you bested out loud. Did best all of it. Because that's hilarious. But I do remember, and I'm not trying to point fingers here.

I would never. But I remember at time distinctly, when your marriage was falling apart, and I mean, I mean titanic style, fucking sink with an airplane, with like a nuclear power total. I mean, a epic meltdown. But I remember you crying on my front porch,

and audience, this has been like 15 years. I'm not trying to be that hardless because we're way past it. But you were bawling crying, and you said, my kids' lives are supposed to be perfect. You love jabbing that in. I just didn't understand where you thought that somebody's life was supposed to be perfect.

I remember the conversation, I can't deny it, but you at some point had this, I was the ringleader of the My Life Kids Lives have to be perfect movement. Yeah. Right, right. To the point of co-dependent and abler all all the letters. Right. How about at that same time I remember crying to you, oh my gosh, blah, blah, blah, it's so terrible. But at least I have my kids. And if I remember correctly, you said, oh god, you would have had kids

with somebody else. You'd love them just as much. It's kind of true. It's true. So it's like, you know, that's not really the silver lining. You think it is. Empathy is not my strong suit at times. I'm not advocating to the face, it's an asshole, unless they're over the age of 18. Right. I think that at 18, you can say, quit being an asshole.

Some parents are probably cringing right now, but I just think there's a normal flow that you can say, quit being an asshole. Some parents are probably cringing right now, but I just think there's a normal flow that you can do that. Like, I've heard you tell your kids, I've called both my boys a dick before. I remember Dylan, my oldest son had a kid over. You'll remember the story because I called you. He has a friend over.

It's probably second or third grade. They want pizza. I wear dominoes. The kid comes to me the friend, not my kid, but the friend who's spending the night. They're probably like eight. Mrs. Welch, where'd you order the pizza for? And I said dominoes, he has a stage five meltdown

that it's not Maseos. I see. It starts banging my walls, freaking out. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that.

I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that. Well, you take it away, take it away. Watermelon seeds and pumped down in iced tea. You guys shouldn't have come all the way from Los Angeles to do this. Kiss my fat ass. We were like latchkey kids, totally.

And if I would have what had my kids complain about what was being served to them at somebody else's house, I would be livid. I mean, they would be in so much trouble. I think that there is this movement in parenting where I think it started with you on my porch when your divorce is going south. I'm going to blame this whole movement on you

when you said your kids' lives were supposed to be perfect. I infiltrate the rest. You reckon that, right? Well, yeah. Right, basically. I should're recanted that right now. Well, yeah, right. I should recanted it immediately. I think it starts with this generation with these fucking gender reveals.

Oh my God. The greatest, the best girl. Not a counter-eared. Nothing, it's one of two choices. Nobody's popping out of hippo. You're not the first one that's ever had one. There's this praising of normalo. You're not the first one that's ever had one. You know, there's this praising of normal activity being good is praise. And so that's just what you're supposed to try to do. Okay, I have been hanging onto this for dear life. Okay, so why you're

in Italy. I get a bus walking. One of my girlfriends is sitting there. She's got this rope pretty pink top on. Like, oh my gosh, she looks so cute for a best. Well, she goes, well, I'm going to a baby shower after this. And I said, oh, okay, she goes, I had to go buy this shirt. And I said, why? She said, because the invitation set to wear pink, because it's a curl. So now, not only do we have to all praise you for having a boy or a girl, everybody has to go out and buy something new to go with the color. I mean, I think she should have called that person and said, listen to me, you little motherfucker. Nobody gives a flying fuck if it's a boy or a girl.

So why don't we just have cake and give you some presents? Why do we have to make this big for deal? But I mean, just the entitlement to think that anybody else gives a shit, what your kid's going to be outside of the grandparents and the parents. make this big for deal. But I mean, just the entitlement to think that anybody else gives a shit, what your kids going to be outside of the grandparents and the parents. Again, it's not a giraffe. It's not. Which would be a scientific miracle that should be celebrating that. Yes. If there was inner species birthgiving, I mean, I'd be the, I would have an whole episode on that. I would have a scientist in here that we'd interview. We get our guy, Neil. Inside joke audience, I made pops, listen to a podcast the other day in preparation for this.

And I said, which one did you listen to? And she said, oh, with that guest, Neil deGrasse Tyson. She mispronounces everything. She's like, God damn redneck for my uncle, how much? I am a small tanger. You are. You're an Oklahoma city girl. Yeah. Which is a city. Wrepp, it's like a small town.

Right, million people. Yeah. But I mean, I'm a redneck. I'm a redneck. Yeah. Loud and proud. But I, okay, so back, the mother that had the shower where you had to dress cap, that one. Here's the deal with the baby showers.

Number one, they're insufferable. The thinking it's everything about it. Nobody really wants to go. Nobody wants to go. And then the circle jerk where everybody's sitting around in a circle and you pull out a onesie and everybody goes, oh, I mean, put a sock in it. Stop it. Nobody gives a shit. People have been breeding literally since the beginning of our species and other species have done it prior to us. And it's exciting and all exciting. But I think baby showers,

they need to be, I think sometimes you need to take into account the feelings of the guest. It's a very exciting time. and people are like 15 minutes worth of excited. Right. But they don't want to spend two hours on a Saturday being excited about somebody else's wedding or birthday. So 100% you're not taking into the account. It is guest. Particularly a baby shower because I remember I had a baby shower of Josh and me when I was pregnant with Dylan. It was a couple's baby shower, which is better? 100% better. But I'm eight months pregnant,

fatter than a goddamn pig. I have to socialize, and everybody is completely hammered. And the only way that drunk people are tolerable is if you're drunk, you have to be drunk with the drunk people. Otherwise, you don't want to be around drunk people. So, at every turn, I see that probably the biggest gift that a person that's pregnant could give to those that love them is just to say, in lieu of torturing you with a circle jerk of opening up one sea diapers, booties, car seats, we all know what the gifts are going to be. Nobody's lost an eye to hooker in some cocaine. That's not happening at the Bayou show.

It would be really interesting. It would be different. That doesn't happen, right? And so, I think you just say in lieu of, you know, having hosting the Baby Show or Circle Jerk, I'm registered here, send a gift. Send a gift. And I would probably appoint that person

for a Nobel Peace Prize. I mean, truly, I think it could really solve a lot of problems. Well, what you've got is people who, like, we're in the age now where we're going to graduations. But there's a time in your life where all you're doing every weekend is going to a wedding, because that's where you are in your life. And then all you're doing is going to baby showers.

So it's like, if they gave you a wedding shower, you have to give them a wedding shower, baby shower, just the list goes on and on and on. For a cat, it is a t-shirt. Or truss events. But the number one most obnoxious thing about the whole thing is the gender reveal party. We are gonna elaborate on this in another episode

if anybody even listens to this one because I know everybody's glued to their seeds about how pubs had it with watermelons seeds. And a watermelon. Do you guys, or, I mean, would that be something that you would have it with if you bought a watermelon with seeds? And I think it's kind of expected.

I mean, yes. Watermelons have seeds. Apples have seeds. I know, but they now, like that's the first watermelon I bought like two years that had seeds. So once you discovered the watermelon head seeds, what'd you do? I threw it away.

And you ate a pineapple. Tell the listener about what your theory is about pineapples. Okay, I've always heard that pineapples are the universal sign that you want to be a swinger. What did you shelter? You first found out about the swingers. I mean, I was shocked. Yeah, it's shocking.

It's pretty shocking. Yeah. And then, of course, I immediately think, what if the wife's beautiful so your husband's all in and the husband's a complete second dog that you get stuck with? I mean, that would be kind of my one and two. OK, so let me, because this is the first time I had heard this, that the pineapples. I think everybody accepts you one and two. Okay, so let me, because this is the first time I ever heard this, that the pineapple,

I think everybody accepts you, and that. Nilly, nilly, pineapple, international sign of swingers, yes or no. First heard it, or you know that your whole life. First time hearing it. Okay, Jen Morton.

First time hearing it. Rick, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I say it, but I have to go with pumps. You knew? Yes, yes. You a swinger? I'm not. Okay, but. You have to be Larry. Like, did I got pineapple in the zoo? Like in their pals and pictures and all that stuff, you gotta be like, okay, let's not drink too much.

Right. Cause they may be wanting to kick it. Yeah. So, okay. All right, so if you came over to my house, if Josh and I were having a little shindig, and let's say we were serving pineapple drinks, a little pineapple appetizer,

and had maybe some pineapple accessories, you'd immediately go, these two are swingers. Is this an aggressive way of asking? Are you trying to hit on me with your serving pineapple drinks, and pineapple paraphernalia. All right. Stop several questions, several questions. heterosexual and they are swingers.

They are. It is true. Look at you! Help culture that much. Drive down the street, beat off to you. You absolutely are not victimized by it. God damn slut. I'm so shocked, right? Okay, so wait, so these people, are they, are they, boy girl? There's been wife.

Has been wife legally married. Legally married. Pineapples out the wazoo. Pineapples everywhere. The swinging is new. The swinging is new. The pineapples in the house predate. Pineapples everywhere. The swinging is new. The swinging is new. The pineapples in the house pre-date the announcement to you all of the swinging.

Yes, correct. So it was going on behind your back. It was just new to you all. Yeah. If the pineapples were there. No, she would have told me. According to pumps, maybe they were just, I had already outed themselves

to the world. Oh, it's like a secret group. Yeah. You think swingers were assholes when they were toddlers? I know. No, I don't think so. I think they probably get shares. What adults, like a famous adult right now, are you like 100%

was an assholist toddler? Oh, God, Larry David, of course. I mean, tell you thing, he was just an obstinate child. No, I think he was probably perfect. You do? Yeah. I love, I'm not going to tolerate any sort of child, no, I know. Towards Larry David, first and foremost.

All our kids were assholes and we love them and think they're great. They're awesome. I think it would have made him a better toddler if he had that smart ass. Probably not a great teenager though. Yeah. I do remember though, if you don't have kids and somebody wants to talk about their kids all the time, or they bring their kid, that's a huge violation is when you're having an adult might and they bring their kid in the whole complexion of the night change.

It's a huge violation. When somebody walses in, we had a pull party not long ago. Some friends that we invited texted and said, can we bring, oh yeah, I was in such and such and such, which were their kids, because it was like a divorce situation. I just said no. No kid, do not come, do not bring your kids. I am at the stage in my life where if I'm going to be around kids They're going to be my kids Your kids are crit kids that I shared DNA with right Josh and I recently

Over to some friends house. We did not want to stay and I flat out told them like I don't think we're gonna stay for dinner We're already starving you guys eat late. We played tennis for to stay. And I flat out told them, like, I don't think we're gonna stay for dinner. We're already starving. You guys eat late. We played tennis for two hours. I do not think that I can stay at this party. And Josh looked at them and he goes, and we've gotta get home to our dogs. No!

No! No! No! No! I think it's better to say we just don't want to stay. I mean, I'm just, I've decided just to be honest. Yeah. I was invited by these people to go to a dinner. I was going to be in Italy and there's some people I do business with,

the Brazilians, they make these beautiful cabinets and they said, we're going to send a car to pick you and Josh up to come to our dinner and Milan. And I was at Lake Comos, only like 30 minutes away. So I was like, all that sounds great. I told Josh, yeah, we're going to to this bougie, like, you know, dinner and malign. So this gal sends the invitation over. And it says that the dinner starts at nine.

Oh, no, we're asleep at nine. I didn't even try to come up with any excuse. I said, we're up high all. Dear such and such, thank you so, so much for the invitation. However, that has passed my bedtime, and I'll have to get to bed early that night because I have tennis lessons the very next morning. I hope you're of in as a great success. I'm just, I'm not even going to make up shit in the got out. I think we're to the point in our life. I think we can just say thank you so much for

the invite. I simply don't want to come to your party. Right. But I will say, as we both hate group textures and people that abuse it, the reply all was kind of a little bit of an abuse because nobody else on the invitation list gives a fact if you're coming or not. That could have gone straight to the hostess. No, they were all they were a business of people that hosted the event. Oh, okay, so it wasn't just the hostess. Okay, I, so it wasn't just the hostess. Okay, I thought you were making everybody on the invite list,

except for whether or not you were coming or not, which they don't care if you're coming. Right, not. So let me ask you this. Do you think our kids are humiliated by this episode where we say that for sure when our kids were little, they were assholes? Oh no, because my kids already know I've told them.

Because they've asked me, if we went back in time, right? Would you want to do that over again? I'm like, absolutely not. I wouldn't, but I don't ever want to go back to that little bitty baby stage. The toddler we have to do everything for them. Cut it up their food.

And you know, I was that stupid mother that said, everything I said I wouldn't do as a mother I did. So I was the number one, they're going to eat what I fix. Like what if I make it, they're going to eat it by God. And I remember when I had macaroni and she's going, mashed potatoes going and rice going because everybody wanted something else and I thought, who's the fucking problem here? Right. Me. Yeah. I think mostly kids are normal if they're assholes. I think the problem is the parents are really the assholes. Right. I think being a toddler and being an asshole are synonymous. Totally yes. Totally. I think parents pointing it out to other parents or putting the blocks online

is just totally normal because your life has been hijacked totally. And the part of it is beautiful and awesome and amazing. And you feel this love that you've never felt before But this other part is like oh my god. It's a total grind and I think that we have to be able to tell our friends My kid was being an asshole today because there's some come on camaraderie and right misery loves company absolutely Misery loves happening. There's this expectation that's put on parents that it you're supposed to say 24 seven three sixty five. Being a parent is awesome. It's the best thing that ever happened to me.

I think people have forgotten that you can have compound feelings. Right. You can have two feelings. This is the very best thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. But the day that Emily vomited in Chica's Mexican restaurant project dial and everybody looked at us, that was one of the worst days. Right. It was awful. Right. We could not get them to bed quick enough.

That's why I've always like, I'm pretty lax about all the rules except eight o'clock bedtime. I mean eight o'clock bedtime at my house when the kids were little was like militant. It was like military time. And everyone's like, oh my gosh, you do so good with bedtime. And I'm like, that's because I'd go crazy if they were up for two more hours. I mean that their bedtime is for me. I have a question. So Jen and I have a child we can't come over for a full party with our child. If somebody says we're having some other couples over for an adult pull party and you show up with a baby. I not only don't think you should come to my party.

But I don't want you producing the podcast. No, be that. LAUGHTER I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that. I've had it. I've had it.

I've had it. I've had it. All I can say about that is, I've had it. you