I've Had It - We Are SUCH Good People with Nikki Glaser

Episode Date: July 18, 2023

Nikki Glaser joins Jennifer and Pumps to share her many, many grievances. These three believe that people should 'flaunt it if you got it, but especially if you bought it.' J-Lo hates our guts and hopes we all stay ugly. Pumps tells the listener about her unfortunate Ozempic journey thus far & Jennifer pays tribute to the brave men and women of the skies, the only group of people rejecting the "customer is always right' mindset. The Hot Sh*t Tour is heading to Atlanta, Philly and D.C in August! more info & tickets available at https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast Thank you to our sponsors: JustThrive: Use promo code HADIT for 20% your first 90 day bottle of Just Thrive probiotic or Just Calm at JustThriveHealth.com SimpliSafe: Listeners get a special 20% off any SimpliSafe system when you sign up for Fast Protect Monitoring. This huge offer is for a limited time. So visit SimpliSafe.com/HADIT. Babbel: Here's a special limited time offer for our listeners to get you started RIGHT NOW - get 55% off your Babbel subscription - but only for our listeners - at Babbel.com/IVEHADIT Lume: New customers get $5 off a Lume Starter Pack with code HADIT at LumeDeodorant.com. That equates to over 40% off your Starter Pack. Article: Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit ARTICLE.COM/HADIT and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout. Hint: New customers can get Hint for just $1 a bottle with free shipping, when they order 3 cases. That's 36 bottles for $36 and free shipping. Just go to hintwater.com and use code HADIT Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps Special Guest: Nikki Glaser: @nikkiglaser

So we supposed to start the podcast. One, two, three. I did it. That was excellent. It was so good. So I just cannot believe that when you walked into the studio, it's not. I'm wearing white jeans and a lilac blazer.

Yes. And you are wearing lilac jeans with a white plow. It happens all the time. Like, I would say three out of five, maybe even three out of four times, never once in all that umpteen phone calls a day and in the morning. Do we ever discuss what we're wearing?

We don't have that. Ever. I never talk close with you. No, because I don't like to talk close. No, so I never do. And then time after time again, we show up and our colors are in sync because we are soulmates.

The biggest soulmates, I mean, it's 100% now in the permanent record. I mean, it just warms my heart. Mine too. I know. Well, pumps, what have you had it with? Okay. I've had it with the fact that when you go somewhere in public and there's restrooms,

male or female, the men are in and out in two seconds and the women are standing in line. So what that tells me is, A, a man designed the building that we're in. Correct. Any female would put more female toilets in than male toilets. Agreed. But you know what I do sometimes. So like at the place where I exercise, there'll be a line for the women's. Right.

And then a guy will go in, P, and go out, and there's like four women deep. And I'm about to pee my pants. I just go straight in the men's and pee. I do that all the time. Sometimes I even push the door open to see if nobody's in there. I will march myself. That's not very good because it's cutting. But I'm like, there's no men in line.

No, I know. It's a one-hole. You're cutting the women. No, I ask the women. Does anybody want to go in the men's? That's what I say. No, because maybe they have that bathroom fear about genders and whatnot.

I don't have that. No, I don't either. But I always ask the people like anybody want to go. And if they say no, I'm like, okay, I'm out here. I know. What's so interesting, when you use as a woman, if you go into the wrong restroom and you use that restroom, guess what happens?

Fucking nothing. Fucking nothing. Nothing. Nothing nothing. Nothing. Nothing happens. I was in New York with Josh once and we went to a blooming dales and there was like a full blown, like, unisex bathroom. Used it, peed, washed my hands,

staying next to me and washing his hands. Guess what happened? Fucking nothing. Fucking nothing. I will say though, the very first time that ever happened to me, like where I didn't know, I mean, I know it was a unisex bathroom and there were stalls and all that. But when I came out and it was a me and next to me,

I was kind of like, hey, you know, come because I was just not used to it, but now I'm fine with it. I just don't care. No, I don't care either, but it was just like, that's the first time it had ever happened. And I was like, oh my God, we're progressing in this country. Totally. Totally. There are some people that are awfully

butt hurt and concerned about the bathrooms. People are butt hurt about the dumbest fucking things. I mean it's almost like let's get them a real problem so then they'll have something to think about. Exactly. Well let me tell you what I've had it with. What is that? And it is a problem And it is a problem plaguing the country. Okay. And it is the concept that companies have, that the customer is always right. And less than the customer, yes. Because sometimes the customer is just a fucking asshole.

Right. And I notice that this happens a lot. You get just a complete dick. And then you got this manager or, you know, this assistant manager enabling and glad handling this totally toxic, ridiculous, entitled behavior. And you kind of see it all go down. And you think, God, this is really bad.

We are enabling the worst of society with this concept. The customer is always right. It enables people to demean workers. And they just stand there with a smile and take it. And it's enabling like the worst part of us. And one industry doesn't do this. What is it? Flight attendance. Flight attendance. Have the ability to walk up and down the aisle, turn off your phone, put it in airplane. Yeah, you're right.

Put your computer up. I don't want to worry about my mask. You can put your mask on or I'm going to call the police and I'm going to come pick you up at the gate. I'm not putting up with this shit. I like that. It's a real curb to bad behavior because you know in that plane land the feds are waiting for you. Totally. So it really, you're right on that. The flight attendants get to go into beast mode when these people, and I love watching them do it, especially during like the COVID times, you have these

people that literally thought that these people that worked for United Airlines or Delta made this mask mandate on interline. It was personal. Right, that they personally did it to these people. And so they started to pick fights with flight attendants and the men and women of the skies, they fought back and they fought back courageously against these loons. And I loved to see it.

I mean, I absolutely loved to see it. And I would like to see more of this in restaurants and places where people are just complete dicks where the waitress could go, you know, I told you it would be out in five minutes and it's only been two minutes. So it's gonna be three more minutes. Maybe if we could start checking each other, this bad behavior, because I think the customer is always right invites people with extreme entitlement to abuse workers. Oh, you know what would be so great? I just had this idea.

You know how flight attendants during COVID, they were deptaping people to their chairs, restaurants, and other service industries like that. There should just be a dept tape for their mouth. So, like, if you're a complete entitled dick, instead of dept taping you to your seat, they just put a little slop over your mouth. I think, I mean, I don't know that we, and that's kind of handmade tell-ish, I think we should just start kicking people out and just say,

you cannot abuse our staff. And, you know, we believe that we want to facilitate and accommodate you as best we can. But when you start reaching abuse and demeaning and degrading people, get your shit and get the fuck out of our restaurant. Why don't they do that? I wonder.

It's this customer is always right. Capitalism on speed thing. Like you spend many, you can abuse people. And I've just kind of had it with that. And I'm on with the, I like this sheriff's in the sky that just walk up and down the aisle and regulate people. And I mean, they had a rough go at it. God, it was bad. They had, and you see all that shit go viral on Instagram, right? What not? But I like that. That's the one industry where they're kind of like,

I'm not putting up with this shit. I'm not taking your shit anymore. And I think more people in the service industry should adopt that. Right, I agree. Because I've had clients say to me before, well, I've spent a lot of money and they name the dollar value that they spend.

And my thing is, even if you spent a fraction of that price, I would still want to provide you with the service. But what I don't like is the tone in what you're speaking to me. That's unacceptable. I'm not going to sit here and just bend over and take it because you're spending money. If you're going to be kind and nice and we can lean into conflict resolution skills, I'm all for that. Okay. So welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She is the star of our show hotter than hot. Kylie, what's going on on social media? I'd like to read you a one-star review on Apple. Okay. Great. Do you love listening to badly Botox late middle-aged women cackle as their zealist guests babble on about nothing?

Well babes subscribe. I've had enough of anyone who can afford a podcast set being given the platform to lower the IQ of anyone who has the misfortune of accidentally pushing play. You think women their age would have used their many, many decades on this earth to develop a personality and gain intelligence. But they did not. So we, the podcast listener, must suffer. I want my time back.

And even though I paid nothing to listen to this, I'm demanding compensation. I have to say it's very well written, very well written. And I have to say, although she hates us and makes several valid points, she sure did put a lot of energy into that review. Right. And most of the stuff, I don't have any problem with the Botox. I mean, Hayden Bon Botox, that's not a botox. Botox is a wonder drug.

It is. I mean, there's just no doubt about it. No doubt about it. It's the most innovative thing that's happened in middle-aged women. So, but I do appreciate the one star review and how well crafted it was and how bad she, you know, burned us. I mean, it was pretty good. We resemble a lot of the things that she said. They were not unfair in total. There's not that many lies in her one star review you. That is true. Pumps, as you know, I'm an interior designer when I'm not your co-host in this podcast,

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And this has been one of Pumps's dream guests from the jump, from the jump. Because here at I've had it, we make Pumps dreams come true. This does for sure. This guest is the host of F. Boy Island Comedy Central Rost and is on tour with the Good Girl Tour. Let's welcome to I've had it, Nikki Glazer.

Hello. Hi, Nikki, how are you? I'm so good. Thanks for having me, you guys. How are you? We are so excited you were here. Me in particular. I've been dying. Like, I'm kind of getting chills right now.

You have been one of Pumps' dream guests since we started this podcast eight months ago. So this is like a dream come true day for Pumps. So you better deliver. I'm so nervous now. I was already nervous. I see you guys are so funny. And I originally just assembled upon your clips on Reddit, which is just like the place

where they just give no love to women ever on there on Reddit if you know, but they like love you guys so much and they always clip you out and you're so funny. And I just was like immediately like, oh my God, I'm obsessed with these women. So I'm so glad to be with you today. So Nick, you just right out of the gates, we like to just jump straight into shit talking

because life's too short to not bitch about shit. So tell us what you've had it with. I have had it with celebrities mainly, celebrities having face work and body modifications done with a surgeon's scalpel and then pretending like it's all like some topical cream they're using. Or like they're drinking more water. Like, right. I'm tired of chilled, like literally,

like I watch a lot of YouTube videos where people who know what they're talking about examine celebrity spaces and tell us what they're doing. Right. People like in their 20s are having facelifts. Like early 30s, this is like a regular thing in Hollywood. And we're comparing ourselves to these girls. At least I am.

And then I go, God must hate me. I must be not one of the, there's something wrong with me that. But the truth is, she's having surgery, she's going, she has, you know, straws draining blood out of her face in her week while she's posting old pictures she took. Right.

I don't mind that they're doing it. That's not the problem. It's kind of, you know, sad that we feel the need to do it, but I just want more transparency about it because I'm tired of it. I agree. And I mean, we, a lot of things that we get to with this podcast is the general lack of oversight with this type of shit. We have found that there is a massive void in oversight in people that talk too much, people that cut lines. And now you brought something to the table that we can totally get behind.

And this is, if you're gonna fuck with your face, you have to fucking tell us. Right, full disclosure. This is, here's why I know they don't do full disclosure. And I don't blame these women for doing it because when they do do something to their face, and it looks a little different, what do we say? Collectively we go, why did she ruin her face? Because Meg Ryan was trying to stay young so she could

keep working. We punish women who do it, that we can see do it, and then we act like the women who's Facebook we can't tell. I.e. the Jennifer Lawrence's, the Ariana Grande's, the Blake Live Lee's, the girls who just look like they have natural beauty who are going under the knife without question. We act like they are like just born that way and they're a natural beauty. They're not. They're having little things done that are so. Blake Liveley's nose did not erode over time like the great Sphinx in Egypt. It's not like, you know, wind and rain have just like made it slightly go down. Look at it over the years. There's not like, you know, wind and rain have just like made it slightly go down. Look at it over the years. There's been slight operations. No shade to her. But I get why she

didn't do it because Jennifer Gray lost her whole career because she has no job. They put baby in a corner. They put baby in a corner. And now she could fit because her nose was smaller. She her nose was smaller, she could get right in the corner. I had this one friend who I love more than life itself. She got a boob job. Well she has a leg house at the time. So she's on the beach at the lake every single weekend in a bikini. And she's like, tells me, don't tell anybody I got a boob job. I'm like, you runnin' around a bikini.

I don't have to tell anybody. Like it's ridiculous. And on the same way, I want to get my neck lifted. And when I do it, I'm going to be so proud and be like, look at my neck. It's so much better. What gets me is when people get their lips injected. And then they deny it. And then you see them trying to manage taking a sip out of a straw. And they look like fucking stroke victims because they're like, and then it's like the water whatever the beverage is going down

and it's total stroke victim with duck lips. I'm like, oh, did you get your lips injected? Oh, and they're like, no, no. And then you go, whistled a song with me and they're like, no, no. That's like, and then you go, whistle this song with me. And they go. They're like singing Andy Griffith theme song. Let's do it. And they just, there's no, there's,

I get my lips done and there's so many things that I can't do afterwards. It's stroke victim. Yeah, it's total stroke victim. I have a stroke victim affect. I got a lip, I've never had filler put in my lips, but my lady was like, let me do a lip flip. And so they injected lip flip.

So they put Botox here. So it's supposed to kind of keep it up. And then I was a stroke victim. I haven't done since then, because I like them cheeky out of my straw. And I can't do it. And I realize I'm talking, I'm like, I'm a total stroke victim. And I paid money to be a stroke victim. Fuck the lip flip. I'm't do it. And I realize I'm talking, I'm like, I'm a total stroke victim. And I paint money to be a stroke victim.

Fuck the lip flip. I'm not doing this. Now, I am a huge proponent of Botox. And we have a lot of our listeners that find out that we are not what they think we are. And so they get butt hurt. And they go have explosive diarrhea in the comment section. And they're like, these two old ladies

with all their Botox. They're hurting us. They're seeing this thing for them to jump on. Thank you for noticing. I paid a lot of money for a lot of my talks. I am your proud of it. Jealous that you don't have it. That's something that's all though. Don't do my friends.

Don't do that to your face. And I know what the real reason is because I've said that to friends before, what I'm really saying is don't because then all I have to. Right. You know, JLo with her skincare, anyone with a skincare line, I want to see you use it and over and I need to see you like unpackage it and like, I don't want you to put your love mayor into squeeze it into an empty container of yours. I want to see Jennifer Anson use a Vino.

You know, like she's using a right? Getting her skin care at Walgreens. What are you talking about? This saying yet, she's selling that to us. And I bought it. I bought that stuff that's like the, you know, there's the tan packaging. Yeah, exactly.

And at this like moment of, you think she's spending $5.99 on the thing. What am I doing? like moment of, you think she's spending $5.99 on Facebook? What do I do? And, Deilo, with her line of skincare or Kim Kardashian, they don't want you to look better. Like, I have to realize this, like, they only make money if they look better than us. And if they give us their secrets,

and they let us know what they're doing, we'll do it too, and they won't have an edge anymore. I mean, there's no way they would tell us what they really do. J.Lo hates us. She wants us to stay ugly. And just, you know, the women being like, when they lose a bunch of weight and ozempics the new thing, which people are so mad about, like, these women are stealing medication from diabetes patients who need it. All these women who are saying that,

when have you ever given a fuck about a medicine? Exactly. Mindy Kaling got a thigh gap. Now you're so upset about it, because you're like, no, Mindy, you stay fat with me. Don't get skinny. You just like, it's just, I don't blame anyone for doing this shit. The pharmaceutical industry will find a way for sure.

I mean, come on. That is the biggest, for profit, racket on the planet. And all of that bootle baby, titty baby crying, that ozemic isn't available to the people who need it is the biggest jet stream of bullshit. Thank you. I have ever heard in my life. You're so right.

And it like there might be a shortage, but you can't be upset about it now because it's a medicine that you want to keep out of the hands of housewives because you're tired of them looking hotter. Anybody in this country can deliver and make up for shortages. It's big format. Absolutely. The fuck on. I mean, that is insane. I have to say on the ozemic because I've been on ozemic. I'm the only person on planet Earth doesn't lose weight on ozemic. You've been on ozemic? Yeah, she's got it on ozemic and she was on it. It's so rude to me because she keeps telling me about all these people she knows that in 30 days, I just didn't recognize her. I'm like, go fuck yourself. Well, she gets on ozemic, okay? And then she keeps telling me she's on ozampic.

I know other people that are on ozampic, and they're losing like five to six pounds a week. And so we're like six weeks into ozampic. And I'm like, Pumps, how much weight have you lost? And she's like, God dammit, I've actually gained a pound. I'm the only mother fucker on the planet. That's so hilarious. That's way hilarious.

So she had to go to the doctor, and now she's got a pellet in her ass and now it's straightened out and you've lost 10, right? Right. Yeah. Pumps, if an intruder were to break into your home, every second counts. And you are a national treasure. So I have purchased simply safe for you so that you can be monitored and your safety is

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and live your healthiest life yet, you can get 20% off your first 90-day bottle of just calm and just thrive probiotic today. Visit justthrivehealth.com and use promo code, had it. Pups, how's your iced tea and take going? It's going down. It has been greatly reduced by the discovery of hemp water. I absolutely love hemp water.

I love the watermelon flavor because it tastes like watermelon, zero calories, all natural. And I'm drinking a lot more water when I drink hemp water than when I drink plain water because doctors recommend that we drink like 64 ounces of water in a day. I'm exceeding that now. What about you? I'm exceeding it too because hemp water has no artificial sweeteners, no sugars, and no calories, but it's delicious.

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thinking about it because my sons are so incredibly open-minded. And my oldest son goes to Syracuse. And one of the classes he took is like Fox News desk meltdown. And it was called Queer Latina Studies. And he is a straight head. It was heterosexual white male. And I felt immense pride that my son signed up as an elective course to take queer Latina studies.

But I feel like I owe Gen Z some accolades here. And I'm going to tell you guys that a lot of shit that we couldn't fix, you're fixing. Like I'm a career woman and I don't like these traditional gender roles. Like, where people like, what are you going to fix for dinner? I feel like saying, why the fuck do I have to fix dinner? Right. Why is that on me? You know, like, my dad will always say,

oh yeah, the women in this family don't cook. And I'm like, your ass isn't cooking. You know, it was with, yeah. With Ginzy that's over with. I like the whole like that they're blurring the gender roles. I think that is progress for our species, for culture, for humanity. So, Ginzie, I know I pick on you sometimes,

but I love you guys because you're socially doing a lot of things that we didn't get our shit together to do. And you're calling out just complete, unregulated capitalism. And listen, I love capitalism. I'm fucking like to buy nice shit. I'm afraid of the problems. But I see how it victimizes people and how it creates a category of have and have nots. And they are very intellectually looking at this and thinking about this in ways that I didn't when I was their age. And so I have a lot of hope for this generation.

I have a lot of hope for how socially responsible and how much care they take towards other human beings. And this is the iPhone generation. I mean, they grew up thinking, you know, this person is perfect, this person isn't, but one thing that the fucking evil, you know, social media has brought us, is it has delivered information to this generation that has caused them to be more socially aware. She might have some gay kid that lives in Bumpfuck, Oklahoma with crazy Bible-Thumper parents,

and he's able to get on TikTok and realize that he's not alone. I'm not alone. Right. You're so right, and I guess that my gripe was just with when people get upset about their slang or like, what does he that cap me? And it's like, don't you remember being a kid and having weird slang? They're like, it's just because they're younger. Like, I guess that's my gripe is like, let's not pick on them.

We can make fun of it because it's dumb. But like, we're just, we have to admit we we're kind of just jealous that they're yelling at. I totally am. I don't know how hilarious. I like some of their terms. And it too. I like glow up. I think that's a lot of glow up.

That was what did they call us on? They took mothers. They called pumps. I had to ask my kids. I was like, they're calling us mothers. Are they calling us old and my kids were like, no, that's cool. That means you're good.

Oh, it is. I didn't know it's good. No, it's good. No, I'm my kids were like, no, that's cool. That means you're good. I didn't know it. No, it's not. I'm dying to be mother. Like, yeah, that's a, that's a thing that I've heard. Where mothers, Nikki, you can't be mother. Tough titties says we already are the mothers of TikTok. So fuck off. We really are.

I read a really interesting thing about this, just Instagram in general, it kind of ties into what we were talking about before. But it's, um, I was reading an article about envy because I really struggle with it just wanting what someone else has and hating myself for not having it or even, you know, hating myself for not being born that way, you know, just really dumb things. Like, I'll even, my boyfriend always says to me, I've never met someone who wants to like things they don't like.

Like I'm like, I wish I liked hiking. And he's like, but you don't like it. So why don't you want to like something you don't like? I'm like, because it looks like girls, that's like the feminine thing to do is like enjoy hike with your boyfriend or like, I wish I liked home design. And he's always just like, but you don't. And you're rich enough to hire people to do that. It doesn't matter.

And I want to be a girl who likes it. But, but comparing myself, this article I read about envy, it was saying that we are comparing ourselves on Instagram, obviously to all these people that I've, like you were saying, new pictures every day, everyone's on a Paris filter immediately, like you just know actual, everything's filtered now. Even if you try it to not be filtered, it's going to filter you. And, but we used to just compare ourselves to, like you said, the magazines, like Victoria's Secret catalog, like it was a thing that we were holding that's a magazine and we're not in it, right? But when we go on Instagram, we see ourselves and

then it's kind of right next to us. Yeah, exactly right. So we're on the same platform and we're comparing. So subconsciously, we're expecting ourselves because we're in the same thing as this as JLo to have that same glow and to have everything. Whereas we used to compare ourselves to our neighbors, you know, the Joneses keeping up with the Joneses down the street. who live in Malibu and have yachts and stuff. And it's just because we're on that same platform. So my biggest thing that has been helpful to me is just muting a people who trigger me. I use the mute a lot. It's a good thing. I forget they exist.

It's wonderful to mute people. I mute people that are that post too much. Yes. Like I'm just like, why are you posting 15 to 25 stops on your story? That is delusions of grandeur Narcissism on fucking speed. It's boring nor clever I mean there are people that I fucking love like Larry David and if he started posting 20 times a day as much as I love him I think I'd be like, Larry, pull yourself to fucking

gather. Leave some mystery about your life. We don't need to know what you're fucking doing, LD. Okay. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Okay. We want to play a game with you and it's called Had it or Hit it. Okay. You tell us if you've had it with something or if you had hit it. Oh my God. Welcome to Had it or hit it. I would hit it. I hit it every day sometimes twice a day.

Had it or hit it. Fuck boys. Hit it. They'll figure out just know what they are, you know, and they're just wounded and they have, you know, issues with their parents that are in result or a girl hurt them at some point in their life. But just know what they are. Don't try to change one. Are you on the show? The F-boy show? Can you tell before the contestants? No.

They all present as F-boys, and they all have a charm to them that makes them think maybe they could be a nice guy. Right. So it's very hard to tell. So I go back on my advice I just gave. No, I've had it with F boys. In those waters, it's not safe. I take it all back. I love it.

I can't not. This is how I feel about most issues in life. I'm like, I've had it. And then later on in the day, I'm totally hitting it. Total hypocrite. Total. Okay. All right.

I had it or hit it flags on cars and trucks. Oh, God. I mean, we all know what the flag is that is flying most of the time on those trucks. So I'm going to say I've had it. I have it. You're strafting it blocks your traffic view. Right. And it's, this isn't a fucking parade.

You're going like 70 miles an hour down the freeway. It's, it's not, no, had it. You know what I call this. It's, it's not, no, had it. Yeah. You know what I call this? It's vanilla ice-s. I had to have read that somewhere. I'm a voracious reader about like politics. I know. I hate when things absorb and you go back.

I had to. Am I brilliant? I don't think. I'd love to get myself credit, but I had to have read that somewhere. Well, I'll give you credit for at least informing me about it. Yes, so good. Exactly.

Thank you. I'm gonna spread that. Had it or hit it, baby talk. Adults doing baby talk to other adults. In privacy, totally hit it. Because I don't have a kid and I don't plan on having kids and I gotta get that out of me sometimes where I'm like, oh, is someone sweet be like,

I gotta get it out of me. So I do do that to my boyfriend. We do engage it. It is a private thing that you would never admit to publicly. Private. No one wants to hear that. No one no one wants to witness the schmupi talk. Right. But I do. I do hit it. And I would be very sad to lose that like, okay, let me ask you this. You hit it in private. But let's say you're on an airplane, and you see a couple and they're sitting there and they're holding hands on the airplane and Enosy-ating like cuddly snuggly way and she's like oh, honey, will you please get my laptop out for me?

I would that's the day you would see me posting 17 stories on my You know what I want each of these stories because this is repiting I would always own people holding hands, because that's always boggles my mind when couples just, I think I'm jealous of it. Again, I'm hating something I want. But like, when a couple just holds hands, I always want to red rover through them,

and they're like, I'm too much of a fuck. It's like, do you really don't hold? It's just you have to help a clusterstweet. Like, just walk normally. We don't need to know you're coupled up. Like it's sweet, but I'm jealous slash I hate it. I can't.

Okay. Had it or hit it, couples that sit on the same side of a booth today. Oh, I'm hitting that because I know. No, no. You know, we will never do it with me. And I love when they like force us to do it. Whenever we have to like, can you guys sit at the bar with tables not ready?

I'm like, yeah, got us. And I'm the same. And I get to cuddle you. I like having a leg on my hand on his knee. I like to be able to pick it as plate easier. And it is, I understand that it deserves to be mocked. And someone should take a photo of me and make fun of me for doing it.

But I do enjoy it. I do enjoy it. I do. Let me ask you this. Do you not like is eye contact important to you? That's what I think. No, I don't think it is. I think I'm trying maybe to avoid that. Okay, because I'm an eye contact.

Yeah, I have eye contact. And I'm not a snuggler. Like if Josh started cuddling with me too much, I'd be like, okay, that was enough. That was great. That's great. Thank you, you're dismissed. Now my dogs, I'll cuddle with nonstop. But like other people, when my kids were little, of course, I like cuddling with them. But now, I mean, they're teenage boys.

So I'm not a big cuddle. Oh, I that's so weird when you see teenage boys with their moms like cuddled up like they're three. I'm kidding. Did you stop breastfeeding a week ago? What's happening right now? It's total titty babies. You know these kids are going to be fucking monsters.

Their wives are going to hate their mothers. I'm not viscerally hate their mothers. For sure. I mean, they have set up to where the the daughter-in-law is going to be like, I'm going to punish you with these grandchildren. I will punish you to the ends of the earth. You will only have selective visitation because you coddled and babyed my husband. I have to try to fix it. Yeah, I'm fixing all the problems you caused. Thank you so much. Okay. Had it or hit it, shirts with words. You know what? I'm going to say I would hit it because

I think it's a nice way for people to make a connection with strangers. You read someone's shirt and you go, it's hard to comment on a shirt with that's just has nothing on it and go like, I like your shirt and it's just a nice way to, like I wear a lot of Taylor Swift shirts because I love Taylor Swift or Wilco or like whatever I'm into vegan, I like wear shirts that have what I'm into, not to prostilatize and be like, this guy's gonna go vegan because my shirt says vegan AF or whatever. Right.

But to like connect with other vegans, people I have common interest with. Right. So if your shirt has something funny on it or you're attempting to, you know, showcase your personality, I think, um, I think it's a great way for people who don't know how to express themselves fashion wise in other ways, because it's kind of complicated to, you know, like men for instance, don't really care as much about fashion as women do and it's just a way to express yourself that is easy and I'm all for it totally totally. So I'm a lot nicer person than I am about that.

I have had it with shirts with words. I'm trying to talk less to people. I want to draw less idle chit chat to my life. I want to avoid talking to people I don't know with everything in that I will die on that fucking hill. I love to play pickleball. I like to talk about playing pickleball much like vegans like to talk about being vegan. I don't want to connect with pickleball players that aren't inside my pickleball group.

I don't like to connect with other French bulldog owners. And it's very culty like the Vick. It's like the pickleball. I don't want to fucking talk about it. I oppose shirts with words, but I want to remind our listener that we do have merch available on iPatty.com where you can buy.

Make an exception for the i've had it. Yeah, because that's, I mean, how cool is it that someone could be wearing your shirt? And then someone else would go, I like your shirt. What is, and then they turn them on to your podcast or two people who listen to your podcast religiously who have so much in common because they both

would be friends with you guys. So that makes them a type of person. Therefore, then they find a friendship through it. Like, I think it is a great way to unite people and that's beautiful. Therefore, then they find a friendship through it. Like I think it is a great way to unite people. Beautiful. And that's beautiful. Mickey. That is beautiful. But it does not touch nor penetrate this cold black heart of mine nor cause me to move an inch in my stance that I oppose idle chit chat. And I don't want people approaching me to start talking idly and yak, mouthing to me. I love that YouTube bonded over that just now. Stay the fuck away from me.

But merch is available right now. I feel like too much. Yes, okay. And finally, had it or hit it, people. People. I've kind of had it, today I've had it. I just like with the air quality and like just trash everywhere and just over

consumption even like myself included. I'm part of these people and I've had it with myself. I've had it with everything. Right. I dare you. Yeah. We've had it with ourselves about 90% of the time. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I love humanity, but hate human beings. Right. You know, I just I want I want to promote our you know our cause I want to do the best for humans, but I don't want to fuck with human beings leave us the fucking line I don't have a lot of faith and humans. Yeah, they're pretty just some good ones like I met Obviously like guys fun. I mean I know like podcast right here is chock full of Listener the days you're fucking lucky day. You have had a god damn trifecta with the three of us. That's good people. I feel so good now. I feel so much better about myself.

Botox and all of it. Okay, Nikki. So I liked play game called Fuck Mary Kill. Yes, I think I understand. Okay. Blake Griffin, Pedro Pescal, Idris Alba. You got a Mary Idris. Love him. And then who is the first, uh, Blake Griffin? I feel like Griffin. Fuck. I feel like Griffin.

Yeah, because he's like, and I don't trust athletes to not like cheat and like always tell him about her thing. Yeah, that's true. There's no way. And um, and I'd fuck Pedro. I mean, he's just so hot. Yeah, I'm told her about her thing. Yeah, that's true. I just don't, there's no way, and I'd fuck Pedro. I mean, he's just so hot. Yeah, he's got a lot. Oh, Mary Pedro because he'd protect you,

but I'm only basing that off of last of us and how like tender he is. Totally. He's totally our and with his best friend Sarah Paulson. He's like tender and protective. Right. I wanna, yeah, I think I'll stick with that. Mary, Mary Idris, no, fuck Edress, Mary Pedro,

kill Blake. Okay. Okay, fuck Mary kill female edition. Oh great, Taylor Swift. Oh, wait, fuck, fuck Mary. Fuck Mary, Mary, 100%. Kate Blinchette, Anna D. Arma. D. Arna.

Anna D. Arma, see fuck for sure. She's just so poor. Pure liquid sex. Yeah. The hottest girl that's ever been. And by the way, I'll just say I've had it with any man being like, God, she's hot. Oh, oh, man. Like shut up.

We all know. Like you don't have to, like, you're an Anna D. Arma's man. We all are. I'm sorry. Any man commenting like, she's so hot, like, you're an on-a-day-armist man. We all are. You are. I'm sorry. Anyone, any man commenting, like, she's so hot, like, your boyfriend or something, making some kind of, like, fucking, like, grunt when she appears on screen. I don't tell me any woman's hot unless it's, like,

Maggie Jill and Hall. If you're like, I'd be like, really? Okay, tell me, that's what you're saying. I haven't heard that yet, that she's like, you know, because she's a beautiful woman, but there's no guys being like, oh Coming I'm just tired of it with Anna-Darmas. Um, okay, so anyway, Anna-Darmas you fuck her you marry Taylor Swift in a heartbeat And then I don't know Kate lunch that I guess I'd have to kill her even though I fucking love her as well

And um and I would love to be friends with her and and probably go down on her and I would love to be friends with her and probably go down on her. For her. We would probably do that. I respect her so much. I love Tar and she was like a gay icon in that. Total power lesson. It made me, I was like,

I was just texting my friend the whole time I watched it. Like I want a BK so bad. That was so cool. It was power lesbianism, peak power lesbianism. It was amazing. Yes. Nikki Glazer, we cannot thank you enough for fulfilling a middle-aged white moment stream. Totally. So back at list. I mean, a bucket list time for this

wonderful co-host of mine. They call her the Princess Diana a podcasting. Oh my god. I would love to be compared to her in any way. That's so, or like, so I'm jealous of you. That's so nice. It really means a lot to me that too, hilarious women and cool women, smart women, feel that way, or just one of you, even. I'll take. We're a package too.

Yeah, we are. We're a throttle. I don't think you'd like to be a throttle. We're a power lesbian. We're sold are. We're a throttle. I don't think you'd like to. We're a power lesbian. We're sold non-practicing power lesbian, and throttle. There we go. Yes, I would love it.

You guys are so cool. Thank you so much for having me. It was such a joy to let this all out. Fenties. And listener, you can find Nikki and the Nikki Glazer podcast or the Good Girl tour. Look it up. And she's going to be in a city near you very soon.

Thank you, Nick. Thanks, Nicky. Thank you for meeting me. Bye. Bye. You're so fun. Bye. Well, Pam's look at you. I'm so excited. She's amazing. Amazing. It's so great to have such strong, powerful women on our podcast. And I just love how she openly embraced that she likes to get Botox that we need to normalize these things. Absolutely. It gives a fuck. I agree.

I think she really is passionate about building people up and making a better group of women and people in general. Yes, I do too. Well, listen her. We, as you know, the hot shit tour is revved up and ready to go.

Click our link in bio. Please go to Apple or Spotify and rate and review us. It helps us more than you know and we will see you next Thursday. I'm Delta work legendary Emmy award winning drag queen from RuPaul's Drag Race and the host of very Delta the world's premier luxury public access podcast and YouTube talk show where I look gorgeous speak extemporaneously and invite fascinating guests to sit on the couch and get very Delta.

New episodes of very Delta come out every Monday and you can find them by searching very Delta Delta come out every Monday and you can find them by searching very Delta wherever you get your podcasts or watch it on the Mom podcast YouTube channel.