I've Had It - Who's Your Momma?

Episode Date: November 9, 2023

Jennifer and Pumps are fired up today. They have had it with the new Speaker of the House and his Jill Duggar-esque wife & the girls both go on the permanent record with some very disturbing choices in s*x partners. We also play listener voice memos which end up calling out Jen and Pumps as offenders of a few of your grievances. Come see I've Had It live on the Hot Sh*t Tour! More info & tickets available at https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast and subscribe to I've Had It wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you to our sponsors: I've Had It is brought to you by Cologuard®. Are you 45 or older? Start screening for colon cancer with Cologuard, an effective and noninvasive screening option for adults 45 and older at average risk for colon cancer. Rx only. Learn more at Cologuard.com/hadit. Lume: As a special offer for listeners, new customers get $5 off Lume’s Starter Pack with our exclusive code and link. And for a limited time, returning customers can get $5 off their next purchase of $30 or more, too! Use code [Hadit] at LumeDeodorant.com. BlueLand: Blueland has a special offer for listeners. Right now, get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/HADIT Jenni Kayne: Find your forever pieces @jennikayne and get 15% off with promo code Hadit at jennikayne.com/hadit! #jennikaynepartner Happy Mammoth: Listener, you can get your first bottle of Hormone Harmony for 15% OFF if you use the code HADIT on the checkout page. Go to HappyMammoth.com and enter the promo code HADIT on the checkout page. Valid till November 30th. Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

So we're supposed to start the podcast. Ready, one, two, three. That was good right off the bat. Welcome to I've had it podcast. The star of our show, Pumps, is the clappiest clapper in all of podcasting. I sure am. I sure do enjoy a clap when it comes off the first time.

She's char chas it with us today. She's the cutest little baby girl in the whole wide world. She's my biological daughter. You all look just alike. We do. They shall hair wise, particularly. That's your hilarious, you're absolutely hilarious. Okay, I want to talk to you and the listener about Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson. Fucking nut, net job, net. I mean, just a pitiful excuse for a leader. He and his wife believe that it's biblical that he became Speaker of the House.

I know, it's crazy. It is 20, 23. I think that's not worse than asking what my worldview is. Just read the Bible. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Here's my issue. This guy, he has written in support of the criminalization of gay sex. Yeah. And then a listener sent me a

tick talk where he and his wife were being interviewed on the national news. And she has that voice that talks like this. It's like pure IVLP. It's Jill Dugger. Yeah. It is full blown. Jill Dugger, these people are Kuku for Coco. There's no doubt about it. They're crazy. And this is the speaker of the house. Yeah. A unanimously chosen speaker of the house by all the Republicans. He's just as bad as Jim Jordan.

He's just not as obnoxious. I think it's the deal. Plus, he doesn't have a bank account. What deal. Plus he doesn't have a bank account. What do you mean he doesn't have a bank account? I mean since 2016, he says he has no bank account. What? Yes, although he has a mortgage, but he doesn't have a bank account. So what is he operating cash? I don't know. How can you pay a mortgage and cash? He gets his check. I'm assuming it's electronic deposit from Congress. I mean, I would assume they don't write checks. I don't know. They're investigating it now, but he says he's a man of modest means so he doesn't need a bank account, which I've never heard

anything like that. That's the least issue for me with him. I mean, there's so many. That's the least of which. The most of which is that he and his wife think that it's in the Bible or biblically inspired that he is now the speaker of the house. Sorry, listen, or cha-cha, I got to get her comfortable. There we go. There's, that's her sniffing. Okay, so that really bothers me. But here's my thing about all of these anti-gay,

right wing politicians. This is what really gets in my craw about these people. Is they act like the gay people are a problem. Correct. And here's my point. And this is the point that I think a narrative that needs to be drummed up and needs to be beaten all over the country. Is this drum right here? There is not an issue with homosexual people. There is an issue with religious indoctrination that causes you to believe and shame people that are gay because they're born that way. And you have all of these people that come out of the closet to rejection and shame by their families, by the people who are supposed to love and accept

them. And that is endorsed by their churches. And now it's endorsed by these leaders. The problem is not with the gay community. The problem lies within the religious community. They are the problem. But there is this narrative that you can't ever criticize religion. And that is what is so wrong with it. The problem are the judgmental Christians, not the gay people. Agreed. 100 percent. I've had it. I've had it up to my eyeballs because everybody has to tiptoe around it. Nobody can criticize religion and let me be an equal opportunist. Islam is not friendly to the gays. Christianity is not friendly to

the gays. And it is gay people predate these religions. Homosexuality predates the invention of these religions. And I just, I think that the conversation needs to shift from what is, what are we doing with the gay community and what's wrong with the gay community to everybody pointing and saying, what the fuck's wrong with your religion, psychos? What the fuck's going on there? You psycho that would make you shame your own child.

I don't know. Just makes me so crazy and to see that this guy is in charge of the house of representatives. And wasn't he like a big insurrectionist? Yeah. He wanted, he was the one leading the charge for Texas to sue Wisconsin about their voting. He was in charge of that lawsuit, which immediately was dismissed. But yeah, I mean, he's an, uh, anti, he's an election denier. You know what? So fascinating about these quote, unquote, men of God. Why they like Trump. How immoral they, but get out of the Trump thing. How immoral they are personally. Right.

They're so personally immoral, but they have the hubris in thinking, if I can nail it, God forbid me at the speaker now. I'm doing so great. I'm going to be speaker now. Just nailed this shit. And if you're a religious person, listener of some of you religious, I don't take issue with that. Again, for the permanent record, we take issue with weaponizing your religion for a political agenda and or shaming people in your community that are just trying

to live their lives just like you are, right? Or imposing your beliefs on somebody else. That's right. Do what all you want to do with your religion. Swing for the fences as long as you're not judgmental. And you don't try to make anybody else be in that religious set. I would say the best thing that could happen to the Mike Johnson's of the world

is for him to have gay children. But then I feel sorry for the kid. I just think. Because they're gonna go through all this religious shaming that there's something wrong with them, right? You know, and so it's sad, But then I feel sorry for the kid. I just think they're gonna go through all this religious shaming. Right. That there's something wrong with them. Right. You know, and so it's sad, but anyway, that's just kind of been on my mind a lot lately,

because that guy's been in the news all the time, and it just comes out, I follow up like the Human Rights Campaign on Instagram, and it's just all of the anti-gay horrible shit that he's written. I mean, that is so immoral. Yeah. And just such egregious human rights violations and so judgmental. And then he gets on the news with a psycho fucking wife.

And they both look like sociopaths. Hahaha. It's a fucking psycho. And I don't think there's any question that this is biblical. I'm just like, what the fuck are you talking about? Hahaha. I don't think there's any question that this is biblical. I'm just like, what the fuck are you talking about? I don't think there's any question that you're not under the chapter of Mike Johnson's speaker of the house

right there in the Bible. Yeah, I just, so absurd. I seriously, I can't take it. And maybe because we live in Oklahoma, and I know that all of these people around here vote for people like that, it just really gets in my crawl, but it just sits up there a lot. Yeah, he's gross. It's awful. I mean, it's awful. Yeah. It's awful. Carly, what do you think about the new speaker of the house? I only know what you guys have told me just now. And a little bit before outside of this episode.

So he just sounds exactly like what I assume would get put in that spot though. Right. That's surprising at all. That's the sad thing. You just assumed the worst about. And we got one out. We didn't, what was his name before?

McCarthy. McCarthy, who was a comparatively speaking, a moderate. He is a pussy and he did go to Mar-a-Lago and suck up to Trump while behind his back talking about what a nutty is. Right, wanting to invoke the 25th amendment. Right. That's the thing,

anytime there's a small victory, we're like, okay, we didn't get him elected. It's always someone worse that follows. Right. McCarthy, believe it or not, as bad as he is, was better. Agreed. I mean, that is he was. Yeah, that's how low the bar is.

That's how low the bar is. McCarthy, his being crazy is performative. He performs to the far right wing base. This guy that's in there now, he believes that he's crazy. Every particle of DNA in his body is fucking crazy. I agree. And I also, another thing that begs me, I just want to mention is that we have all the answers to tell you how your life's going to be better. You don't know shit. agree. And I also, another thing that bugs me, I just want to mention is that we have all the answers

to tell you how your life's going to be better. You don't know shit. You don't know what a mother's options are when she's going to have a baby. That's none of your business and you don't know what's better. You don't know what it's like to be a transgender kid. You don't know what's better. That pushing their will on us like it's going to be better for us right is infuriating. And then the whole like everybody so wound up about transgendered people and transgendered kids, which I think it's like less than 1% of the population for starters.

We did the math on it. I think it's less than 3%. I think it's one. Is it one? I think it was like 3000. I don't want to get it wrong, but nonetheless, it's a very small percentage. And the way they make it sound, is that there are transgendered people in children out in the street lined up to kill people and parade.

That is how they make this. But you know, these are also the same people and our international listeners will get a kick out of this. There was this whole conspiracy theory all across the United States last year that high school and junior high children were identifying as cats. And the schools were acquiescing to the students that identified as cats and allowing litter boxes to be in the public restroom. So you turn on Fox News, you turn on, you know, any sort of right wing that's like, Oh, yeah, these kids got these litter

bucks is in the bathroom in the technological age where everybody has a phone nonstop 24 seven to the point that it's annoying. There is not one photograph of one shit that was taken in a litter box, in a school in America. Yet so many people believe this, this guy that Josh placed tennis with, he was like, I'm telling you, I swear to God, it jinxed high school in Oklahoma.

This is like a suburb outside of Tulsa listener. My friend knows a girl who saw a litter box and a kid took a shit in there and I go, and they didn't take a picture of it. That's why. It's a total myth, but that's what these people want to believe that these transgendered cats are taking shits and litter boxes at the school. None of this shit is happening and here's the thing. If you have a transgendered kid or if you are transgendered, they're just looking to try to carve out moments

of good in their life just like the rest of us. Just would be happy. Leave them the fuck alone and take care of your own fucking kid and maybe quit, maybe deprogram them to not be assholes. I agree. I'll tell you what else just bugs the shit. Let's go. You'll scum around that.

Let's go. Fire off. Okay, here's just what I just can't even take it anymore. But it just goes all through me. If I hear one more person sin victims of gun violence, thoughts and prayers, I just want to swan dive off the Empire State building. The problem is not transgender people. The problem is not black people. It's not brown people.

It's not LGBTQIA plus people. It's the fucking guns.. It's not brown people. It's not LGBTQIA plus people. It's the fucking Gens. And it's the Gens. Yes. Those are the problems we should be dealing with, not less than 3% of the population. There's more people. I mean, I'm sorry, there's more Gens than people in the United States. Yes. But we're worried about less than a fraction of a percentage of the population instead of the fucking Gens, and it just makes me crazy. You know what's so funny is right wing Americans think that they have this notion. Everybody in the world is just dying to be America, live in America, worships America. And they don't get it. That like when you go abroad, people that live in like Europe

are scared to come to America because they don't wanna fucking get shot. And how can you blame them? If you were a French woman, would you send your kids to study in America at a high school? No, absolutely not. For a lot of reasons, Gens being one.

Right. The homophobia, the racism, all of it. Yeah. I mean, absolutely not. But the gains, I think there is warnings from other countries about coming to the United States. There's warnings about the homophobia in certain states, particularly Florida. I know off the top of my head is one.

Like Canada warns, if you're LGBTQ, wait, LGBTQIA plus all the letters, all the letters, it's a warning to get a Florida. Who's proud of that? I mean, it's, I'll tell you who is. I'll tell you who is. To Kitten Hill, to Sanis. With his little Kitten Hills, with his little lifts, lying in and saying he's 511. I was at what he says. He, I've never known what he says. He's 511. Okay. But he wears about a, I would say three and a half to four inch kitten hill on his cowboy boot. He's 511. Which means he's probably about 5657. Oh, 100 percent. He puts the kitten hill on it, probably gets him to 5.9 and then he just adds the two inches.

So he's probably my height flat-fitted. Yeah. He's got a big fish. Yeah. And probably teeny weeny. Oh, he can't find it over the fat, but whatever. Yeah. I mean, oh. Pumps, there are so many things in life I wish we could fix. For example, the kids being messy. Yes, I wish we could fix airports. Oh my God, don't even get me started.

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It has been a game changer with my mood and energy. I absolutely love this product. Hormone Harmony is happy mammoths most beloved formula with over 1.2 million bottles sold. A bottle is sold every 24 seconds. Listener, you can get your first bottle of hormone harmony for 15% off. If you use the code, had it on the checkout page, go to happy mammoth.com and enter the promo code had it on the checkout page. This offer is valid until November 30th. Support for today's episode comes from Jenny Kane pumps. You've lost like 40 pounds. You look like a million bucks. You know what I think you need to do?

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Everything is the perfect way from Jenny Kane. It's classic, it's timeless, it's effortless, it's pumps. Listener, find your forever pieces at jennyikane.com. Our listeners get 15% off your first order when you use the code had it a checkout. That's 15% off your first order. J-E-N-I-K-A-Y-N-E.com and be sure to use the promo code had it. Let getting dressed be one less thing you have to worry about. Okay. Would you rather? Okay, fuck Ron DeSantis or the new speaker of the house.

Oh. Ah, do I have to do? You have to pick. Well, obviously I'd have to do a doggy style so I couldn't see any face. Well, I knew you like it from behind so much. I would think both Limp Dicks, I'd go to Sanctus because I think the other guy, DeSantis, I think on some level, kind of knows how fucking maniacal and fucking sinister he is.

Like he plays, I mean, he was Ivy League educated, which makes him super dangerous. But I think on some level, he knows the performative sell out to the right wing that he does. This fucking nut that's a speaker of the house. You think you believe that? This guy thinks the earth is 5,000 years old. Yeah, I just can't, I can't pack. I can't believe you're going in on Dessantis. I, listen, I don't want to fuck Dessantis.

Kiley, I heard she wants to fuck Dessantis, did you? After I edit the words around, it's exactly what it's going to say. That's right. Let me, let's just do one more. That's so fun. Listen, or this is the ship pumps that I like to do when we're traveling all the time. Okay. Would you rather this can be a lesbian one? Okay. Would you rather Marjorie Taylor Greene or Lauren Bobar? I would say on that one. I mean, and this is strictly just a vein. Yeah, who'd you say? So I would have to say her with Lauren Bobar because at least she's I mean with her mouth shut

She's far more attractive. So you want to fuck Lauren Bober? For the permanent record. For the permanent record, I'm fucking around the Santas. She's sitting with Lauren Bober. See, this is what happens, listener. Every time we start to have a serious conversation about religion in America and exploitation and weaponization

of it directed to the LGBTQIA plus community. And then it devolves into this very mature game of would you rather, and this is what happens, doesn't it, Kylie? Every time. Every time. This is what we do. We start serious, we're gonna change the world. The next thing you knew, no, Pumps is scissoring Lauren Bobert.

And you're riding high on Ron DeSantis. And I'm taking it from behind. Big old Ron. I'm taking a play out of Pumps playbook and taking it from behind. Oh God, we think we're really sorry, listener. But you know what, that had just're really sorry listener. But you know what? That had just been on my mind.

And I know that those of you that remain feel the same way because we've wanted to filter out the people that use religion to hurt other people. And we want this to be a space where we can all share in our desire to support people that are marginalized and let them know that you're loved. And it's okay. If you want to wear clothes that don't go with your birth, Jenna, tell you, we don't give

a shit. Who cares? And if these other people do, what the fuck is wrong with them? Like, out of all the egregious things that happen in the world, that's what you're upset about. A guy wearing a skirt. Who cares? Who gives a fuck? The Pope wears one for God's sake. Priest due to the scots. Yeah. All right. Listen, Kylie is here today to share with us grievances from the listener, which is really one of the fun parts. They always have great ones.

It's so fun because you know what? We are always in the market for new things to hate. I mean, I will expand my bitch shit talk about something in a heartbeat. We are so open-minded in the area of shit talking and what other grievance can we add, right, Kylie? That's right. Let's see what we can add. Okay. Up first, we've got Dalya and Iyonte. I'm Dalya. And I'm Iyonte. We're a mother daughter. I'm Dahlia and I'm Eon Thay. We're a mother daughter and we're in California. And we have had it with people complaining about their algorithms. The algorithm, yeah, right? So they say, why do I always see just butts? Well, you created it. It's feeding off of what you like when you

complain about what's on your algorithm or what you see. That's because that's what you're interacting with. And it says 100% about what your eyeballs are actually looking at and spending time on. So if you're seeing nothing but butts, this mom is going to tell you right now, I know what you're staring at. I've listened. I know exactly what you're looking at all day because my feed is full of lovely moms and Like really nice quotes and mine is full of drag queens and fellow lesbians That's because that's what we look at so thank you. We love your pond. I Kylie that was perfect perfect perfect timing. A mother and a daughter. Yeah, and the mother loves her lesbian daughter and they sent in a shared grievance of the dump vux

that cell phone when they complain about their own algorithm. We're in it reveals where they spend the majority of their time on the worldwide web. It's kind of great when people do that. I don't know why all this porn keeps coming up on my Google search history. It's like, because you're obviously watching porn or whatever it is.

I don't know why my algorithm is constantly showing people pegging. Hahaha. Why is mine always bringing up symptoms of STDs? I don't know why pumps algorithm is constantly showing women's scissorsing. I did Google that one time, and I did look at a picture, but it did not come back.

It's not your algorithm yet. It's not my algorithm. Well, but I love the algorithm. That's great. I love it when people like wrap themselves out. Yeah. The only thing I see on TikTok is, did it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it, did it, did it, did it. Well, it's cause you watch it.

Yeah, I like it. Yeah. Cause I've gotten best at a couple of times with like cooking videos cause I'm like, well, that looks really good. And I'm like, you know you're never gonna cook it. You know you're never gonna go storm by it. And now you have no one to blame but yourself

that it keeps popping up. Now I'm so self-aware about the algorithm that sometimes when I'm hate watching something, like maybe it's some like crazy right wing clip and I'm like, this is like a train wreck, I've got to watch it. Then about 10 seconds and I'm like, oh shit, I don't want this shit to start thinking that I'm into it and I'm like swiping out of it because I don't want to start picking that at.

Oh, that's smart. I just, just about to say that. Yeah. That's the one thing I don't like about the algorithm, because sometimes I want to watch this crazy QAnon video that comes up, right, just see how crazy it is. And then I'll watch it, and then it's QAnon videos for like two weeks. You know, that was happening to me, but I fixed it.

One time I had, I watched like a blurb from, it was from Fox News, but it had nothing to do with politics. And then I started getting a bunch of Fox News stuff. And so now I won't watch anything. And if it said Jennifer Welch won the lottery, news is six on Fox News, I would not watch it. Because I would never, I just don't want any of that coming out. This is Pumps teaching a master class in algorithm boundaries, algorithm, maintenance. Algorithm boundaries, she does not have boundaries in real life.

Right. But when it comes to her algorithm, hellhathno fury, like pumps is boundary. I will not do it. I did it one time and I'm like, absolutely not. Because we all know how much you love your left wing echo chamber. Love my left wing echo chamber. Okay, Kylie, who's next?

Okay, next we've got Jared. So, you know what I'm fucking had it with? This is Jared, by the way. I have fucking had it with, and we've touched on this subject a little briefly about engagement photos, but what's even a worse offense is staged proposal photos. Like, you mean to tell me that this bitch showed up to the 9's with six-inch

teledos and that face beat to the gods and she just, oh my god, I had no idea this was happening. Fuck off. Fuck all the way off. Tom or whoever Terry, her boyfriend is. He didn't want to do this shit. She did this shit. The whole thing. I know we've talked about engagement photos, but staged proposal photos. Done. Had it over it. Totally agree with him. The staged proposal. It is such fucking bullshit. It's it's so clearly non-intimate and it's so clearly staged. It's like nobody has a perfect proposal for Instagram. It's just a husband. Nobody has a...

Their nails perfectly manicured. Right. A fantastic outfit. All the makeup. Everything is like you just randomly got that super dolled. It would never happen. To go out with somebody who basically is probably smelled what your shit smells like before.

And you're that dolled. And then it's staged. It's fraudulent. Yeah. And then they feign how surprised they are. I love him how he goes fuck off. Fuck all the way off. And another thing is when people have it, you have somebody recording it and then all the parents are there

and the siblings are there. It's like, you don't think that tipped her off. When she walked in, there's a videographer. I mean, it just makes no sense. The thing is, you know, it's really becoming such an ask of people. Everything is, yes. It's really becoming such an ask of people. Everything is, yes. Cause you have now, when we got engaged,

it was all done on your own. And then you went, and like maybe you went to your parents else afterwards to show them or you went to your friends, but when you got engaged, you were completely alone. Right, which is really the way it should be because that's what your fucking mirror is gonna be like. Right.

But now it's, you know, the proposal, the engagement, the fucking circle jerks of showers, all of this stuff. I mean, it's too much. Have you heard about these couples that take the last names, like say that my last name is, there was somebody who did this locally. I think it was our governor's daughter, the last names, like say that my last name is, there was somebody who did this locally. I think it was our governor's daughter,

former governor's daughter. But her, one of the, the wife's last name was like, Fallon, and then the husband's last name was Bacon, and so they merged them together and it was Falcon. So it was a hyphenated. No, no, no, you take a part of one person's first name and a part of the other person's last name, like, okay, Welch and Sullivan. So if we got married, Welch-Aven.

Yeah, Welch-Aven. Welch-Aven. Welch-Aven. Yeah, that's nice to do, but I think that's just trying too hard That's too cute by half just enough It's just it didn't have to be that hard, but I think they probably thought it was so cute Don't you think oh for sure? I mean we're killing it. We're gonna start a new trend I mean just fast forward to the divorce and the name change. It's easier

Restoration of your main name check. All right Kelly Kelly, his next. Okay, next we've got Mary. I have fucking had it with people who hijacked you until watching a YouTube video. I was at the grocery store the other day and I was checking out and the guy likes my shirt. I'm wearing a smokey the bear shirt and he said, Hey, have you seen that old ad And I was checking out and the guy likes my shirt. I'm wearing a smoky-the-bear shirt. And he said, hey, have you seen that old ad for a smoky-the-bear that was really funny? And I said, no, I have not, sir.

And he said, let me show you what he pulls out his phone. YouTube's this video of a smoky-the-bear ad from like the 80s, enforceably makes me watch it. And there are people in line behind me. So I have had it with people who force you to watch YouTube videos. I agree with her.

I totally, totally agree with her. And how about just what a great storyteller she is. She really is. I had on this Smoky the Bear T-shirt. Right. And then the guy's like, you remember those ads about Smokey the Bear? I do remember the Smokey the Bear ads.

Oh, I totally do. I mean, I can't remember the, that I remember the little bear with the hat. Okay, so I have a confession to make. I'm certain that in my life, if I'm telling, if I'm explaining to somebody a funny scene about curbure enthusiasm, which is my favorite show, Larry David, who is my number one favorite person

in the world. And I'm telling them about it. And they don't get it. I've pulled up YouTube videos to show them. I mean, I would give you a pass because it's Larry David. That it's not a noxious. No, it was a forced watch. I was forced watch. I've done it. I was telling somebody recently about a curb your enthusiasm episode wherein Larry is dating this woman. And she has this son named Greg.

And Greg is clearly gay. He's about 10 or 11. He's, I mean, clearly gay. And so Larry buys Greg a sewing machine for his birthday and gives it to him Greg loves that he's so excited because he's going to make all these costumes, right? And then the mom's mad. She's like, why would you buy a sewing machine? That's not what you buy, little boy.

And he's like, um, uh, so I'm telling somebody the story and they don't get it. And so I'm like, I've got to show you the video. And then I like force them to watch it. I think I've done this with curb your enthusiasm. I've done a forced YouTube watch, at least probably four to five times. I can really think. Yeah, people do it with TikToks too.

They keep watching a bunch of TikToks. Yeah, and they never end up funny. No. No, all the more of your forced watch. Mary, I'm thank you for bringing this to my attention. I'm going to do better. I don't do it all the time. But when I'm really passionate about something much like the guy in the grocery store line was passionate about smoky the bear. I share that same passion regarding Larry David and curb your enthusiasm that smokey the bear enthusiasm.

And I've done a forced watch. Yeah. Fuck. I don't do that because I'm not that proficient at you too. Take you too long to pull the video up. Right. I mean, people have lost interest. Yeah.

I'm really, I'm really thinking about that. I was really wrong. That's a real call. I don't. Yeah. It was, it was, it was a bad choice on my part. It's the TikTok video. It's the force TikTok video watching.

I have another confession to make. I have shown people TikTok videos of tennis and pickable matches. Oh, you have done it with tennis for sure. And French Bulldogs. I'm a problem. You're a problem. Mary. Goddamn it, Mary. Fucking Mary.

I mean, she just I've done it. I've done all this. Yeah, not all the time. I don't traffic in it on the daily, but I've shown you haven't I shown you shots like rough and a lot of taking more than once. And I'm super excited about it. I'm right. I I'm in the phone, about an inch from your face. Yeah. You don't even like tennis. I mean, I like it. But you're not tired about it.

Right. I've done a forced watch. A multiplication. Have I shown you tennis? Actually, an instance of this recently was with a dog. Yeah. You were going to show me this dog. And what I enjoy.

Yeah. But I did get the entire backstory of the dog's life before I was allowed to watch the video as well. Oh, it's Ralphie the Demon Dog. Yes. I want to do a whole episode on this dog. Yeah, I've had that same thing happen with Ralphie. Ralphie the Demon Dog.

Shout out Ralphie the Demon Dog. I'm going to do an intro to an upcoming pod devoted to you and you alone because it is a fabulous story, despite pumps and Kylie poo-pooing it. I think our listeners will get into it, but I, God damn it, Mary, I have to own my shit. I have to say, I think it's more your the problem than Ralphie the dog.

Wouldn't you agree, Kylie? That's probably true. It's probably true, pumps. Every now and then, you can be right. Boy, that hurt probably true. It's probably true, pumps. Every now and then you can be right. Boy, that hurt. It does. It's a burden being right all the time. I'll happily share it with you, Sam. Please don't. Pumps, the holidays are upon us and you know what that means. Making a lot of food, having a lot of friends over, having a lot of family over, which then means you have to clean.

And that means like you're wasting, producing all this waste. And I know what an environmentalist you are. And I have to tell you about Blueland. It is an amazing company that I've discovered and they are on a mission to eliminate single-use plastic by reinventing cleaning essentials to be better for you and for the planet. The idea is simple.

You grab one of the beautiful forever bottles, fill it with warm water, drop in a tablet, and then you just get to cleaning. And the refill start at $2.25. So you basically use the same bottle over and over, put the tab in, and voila, you're not producing so much waste so that you can leave the planet cleaner and better for your children. Listener, Blue Land has a special offer for our listeners right now. Get 15% off your first order by going to BlueLand.com slash had it. You won't want to miss this. Blueland dot com slash had it for 15% off.

That's blueland dot com slash had it to get 15% off. You know, pamps, if there's one thing you're really good at, it is skirting the system on a full shower. I absolutely love to skirt a shower and loomy helps. I absolutely could not get by without their wipes and the all over body deodorant. And you know what, I would think with your poor hygiene prowess that you might stink, but you don't. Thanks to loomy with all of these little

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L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T.com. Thank you, Lumi, for making this holiday season smell a whole lot better. Okay, up next, we've got Haley. Hi, Poms and Jessica. I think it is this. I finally have an eye padded. I've listened to every single episode you have ever, ever made. And now I finally have my own eye padded. I have had it with people that

ask you to remind them to do something that is their responsibility. Like, let me give you an example. Let's just say someone is supposed to cut your grass. It's a service that you are paying someone to do and they ask you to remind them to do that service. So, example, someone's supposed to cut your grass every Tuesday at 5 p.m. Well, let's just say this week I need them to come on Monday instead of Tuesday. So I text them, hey, would you mind coming this week on Monday instead of Tuesday? And they're like, yeah, just remind me. Like, no, this is your reminder. That is your responsibility.

Get a journal, get a planner, use the calendar on your iPhone. I don't fucking know. It's not my problem. I've had it with that. She's right. She's right and I love, I mean, Imagine Pink's so happy that it took you 96 episodes to figure out your one I've had it. I mean, I love that.

She tried, persevered. She got one. Yeah. She got a knife had it. I think that's true and I just did it. I just did it to my kid on Sunday. I just said remind me I I'm guilty yet again yet again yet again. I've done this. I know that there's no question about it that I've been in the situation with a client And they're like, can you swing by my house on Thursday?

client and they're like, can you swing by my house on Thursday to tell me if you think this paint color looks good. And I have responded with sure, text me in the morning and remind me. I've done it too. I mean, I've done this one a lot. I've done it too. And she's spot on. She is 1,000% correct. There are two instances that I'm really going to try to do better. The remind me part, I think, is going to be much easier for me than when I'm overcome

with pure joy and emotion about either Larry David, a French bulldog or tennis. I pitted the full who ends up on the other side of my iPhone. Yeah. This is a big day for us, because two I've had it. I'm guilty of it. And I'm guilty of that one. Yep. Not really. Not really.

Not really. Not really. Not really. Not really. Not really. Not really. Not really. Not really.

Not really. Not really. Not really. Not really. Not really.'t let me forget all day. Yeah. Please remind me. I forgot this morning I woke up and I was like, we have to find voice memos. You didn't remind me. And then that's the first one she played. You did not say you didn't remind me.

You blamed her fauna. You blamed Ana. Oh, that's bad. Or Ana who is not an employee of I've had a fauna test. Got blamed for this episode being the failure that it is in that. Multiple failures. Yeah. Multiple failures.

Multiple failures. But you know what? Anna, you did a good job picking all of these out because let me tell you why. These I've had it's are pointing out the hypocrisy that lives right inside me and right inside pumps that we intend to do absolutely nothing about No, I am gonna try to if somebody says can you do this? I'm gonna try to put it in my counter right then if I'm driving That's what kills me. I probably won't here's the deal. I think we're fine being hypocrites on these two issues Yeah, but it isn't a wing and I do it all the time. It's a no, I as fact, but I guarantee you,

I'm still gonna tell people, text me. Remind me, remind me. A cheese a hundred percent right and we're a hundred percent wrong. I agree. And Kylie was the worst offender of the mob blaming Ana. Blaming Ana is just, that's the worst part of that whole deal, Kyle. She didn't remind me. It's all her fault.

Ana, nothing's my fault. Ana, we'm sorry. Okay, who's next? All right, the last one is from Michelle M. Who you might know from, I wrote Goddamn City. Yay! Michelle! Yay!

Hey ladies, it's me again. Cause, you know, I'm a stay-at-home mom and got nothing better to do than call you guys. I needed to tell you what I've had it with and it's over achieving moms. I'm at the playground with my daughters. I don't know, they're all from the woods, they're scooter in somewhere, maybe one of them fell off a slide, maybe she's bleeding, I'm not sure because I'm trying to get some knee time since I'm home with them. Then I got Karen over here who's sliding down the slide. She's pushing them on the swing. First of all, woman, you gonna break

that slide and never watch yourself. Also, like, okay, we get it. Like your mom of the year. Wait till you have two Karen and then come back to me and let me know how it goes. You'll be sitting right next to me on my phone. I've had it. I don't even know where you start. I love her so much. I love you so much because you get it. You get it. You don't know what the fuck your kids are doing

or if they're bleeding. Right, you're just trying to get some me time at the park. That is so relatable. It's so relatable. It is so true because kids like suck the life out of their emotional section caps. And they're rewarding in all of those things. But with the way Michelle articulates that she's just trying to get some meat time. She just fucking wants to sit

and look at her phone. Right. And just chill the fuck out. If you're bleeding a little bit or something, he's bowing you on the out. If you're bleeding a little bit or somebody's bowing you on the playground, let's just we'll get past it. And deal with it at another point. Give me 30 God damn minutes without saying mom. And then you got Sally, performative Karen over here. Yeah. So you're going to break that slide. So you're gonna break that slide. It's so true though. That tickles me.

It's so true. There's always one. There's always those moms that are out there trying to dunk on all the other ones. There are constantly dunking on everyone. Yes. I've had it with these moms that just want to dunk, dunk, and it's such performative bullshit. Right. It is such bullshit.

The way Michelle explains motherhood is exactly what it is. Exactly what it is. It's exactly, and I think it's so dangerous, these social media clips where it's like, this is what we're doing today, me and my kids, and they and they show this like idealic day that they planned with their kids. It is such fucking bullshit. Now I mean it's just you're never gonna live up to those expectations and it doesn't mean your kids you're a worse method than Karen that's

flying down the slide. It's fine. Actually, I think that kids do better in reality. Right. I think it prepares them better for adulthood. If everything is this veneer of cupcakes, rainbows, unicorns, me and pumped up the ass 24, 7, 365, then you get to adulthood and guess what happens. Ground ups aren't that nice. No, and your fuck gives a shit about your little bitty tiny accomplishment or your little tiny penis. For Jesus' sake, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, teed up. Listener. Yeah. I mean, God, we're about 12 in our minds. Damn it. It's bad. All right. I love Michelle. Michelle. Michelle. I love you. I love you. It's just so great. And you're right. She just nails it.

That's exactly how you feel when you have a little kid. 100% yeah. You're bleeding a little. You'll be fine. We love Michelle. Michelle came to our live show in Philadelphia. Philadelphia. And she had it, she was front row. She had a shirt that said, I real city. And we just, at the airport, discussed that she might be dead

because we hadn't heard from her. There was no we in that. Me and Kylie, not you. You keep trying to pull Kylie into this and Kylie could not kill Michelle. It was Kylie too. We were talking. We were talking about she must have died. Did you say you thought she died too?

I think I brought up the death first. Oh yeah. Yeah. What if she's dead? Michelle, I did not think that you had died. I thought that you were alive and hated the podcast. Hated our guts. Which was more plausible.

But in fact, she was busy at the screenshot, making her own, I've had it merged. Fabulous. Front row tickets. And I just love her. I'm just so glad we have a name with the face. I love her. I follow her on Instagram, do you? No.

Can I just show me who? Michelle. Not only did pumps try to kill you all. She doesn't follow you on Instagram. Okay, I will. It is. I wasn't a forced follow. It's all I'm saying. I wasn't

shamed into following. I don't know how to how to find her. When there's a will, there's a way. When there's love, you you persevere. I'll help you. Thank you, Kyle's. Um, Kyle has to help me. Speaking of seeing us on tour, listener, the hot shit tour has a few stops left in this calendar year. Go to our link in bio to come see us to come see pumps in person. The star of our show. She's rolling her eyes at me. She is the star of our show, even though I like Michelle Moore.

Through actions. Action speak louder than words. You two know through actions. Action speak louder than words. I hate you so much. I know you do. But you, you know what? I'm stuck with you. They'll never quit me. No, I won't.

Never, never quit. Because who fucking always has your back? You always. Who's your mama? Who schedules everything? Who fucks you? Oh, no, you are my travel mom. Who fucking handles shit? I mean everything? Who fucks you? Oh, no, you are my travel mama. Who fucking handles shit?

I mean, you're my travel dad. Who fucks a handle shit? Jay Welch. When you're in a pinch of all pinches, who's your girl? Jay Welch. That's right. That's right. Okay, so anyway, the hot shit too,

or Patreon is fucking fireball. It's really good. We got this documentary club and everybody in the Patreon club are called Titty Babies and all the Titty Babies do their homework and they report to the Patreon and we have these fabulous documentary club sessions as well as bonus content.

And we want you to give us five stars on Apple because we really, for no reason whatsoever, have decided that we want 10,000. We want to look at our bio and Apple and we want the reviews to say 10k. Because we're obsessed with stupid shit. We're obsessed with stupid shit. And I know that more than 10,000 people listen to this because I've seen the numbers, which means a lot of you are lackluster listeners that you don't go ahead and give the review. I have to say, well, I'm just not going to, but I, I listened to a lot of podcasts and I never have you. Have you given the indictment of Donald Trump podcast you listen to every day review? No, I have not. This is our comment. This is our karma. It's your fault. It is your fucking fault that we're

not at 10k yet. I don't even think I would know how. All right, palms tell them we will see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both. I'm gonna tell you what I've had a good. We just want to tell you about a quick podcast study. As you know by now, we all do our very best to align the right sponsors to the podcast. It's a lot of work behind the scenes and we're incredibly grateful for your support. We're currently running a quick survey at podcaststudy.net and we're giving the first 150 people

a $10 digital Amazon gift card as an incentive to complete the survey. The information we hear from you about our sponsors is incredibly important to the show, and we can't thank you enough for taking a few minutes to help us out. Upon completion of the survey, you'll be asked to include your email address, and we will send the first 150 people a $10 gift card from Amazon. Go to podcaststudy.net. That's podcaststudy.net, and thank you again for helping our show and our sponsors. $10 gift card from Amazon. Go to podcaststudy.net.

That's podcaststudy.net. And thank you again for helping our show and our sponsors.