I've Had It - WTF America

Episode Date: November 7, 2024

Patriots, Gaytriots, and Theytriots...We will get through this together, one laugh at a time. Let's all CACAW together as the Blue-Tailed/Winged Hawks do. PRE-ORDER OUR NEW BOOK and find live tour dates + more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast Thank you to our sponsors: OSEA: Give the gift of glow this holiday season with clean, clinically tested skincare from OSEA. And right now we have a special discount just for our listeners. Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code HADIT at https://OSEAMalibu.com This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp: Let the gratitude flow, with Betterhelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/HADIT today to get 10% off your first month. Chewy: Chewy is helping take the stress out of the holidays. Take advantage of amazing holiday savings and shop my personal favorites at https://Chewy.com/hadit Branch Basics: Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code Hadit at https://branchbasics.com/Hadit #branchbasicspod Follow Us:  I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? One, two, three. Well, this is normally where we get everybody fired up and, you know, we do eagle stuff and I mean, are you feeling like an eagle today? No, I'm not. I'm feeling like a worm eaten by an eagle. That's so sad.

I know. It is sad. Can you cacaw? Cacaw! Cacaw! Cacaw! Cacaw! It's like a wounded bird. That's what I feel like.

A wounded bird. Well, you feel a lot better than me because I feel like a heaping pile of hammered dog shit is what I feel like. It's like I would take wounded bird because I could go to a bird sanctuary and people would nurse me back to health in a cute little nest and like a little bottle dropper and I'd be like this is like I mean I feel like I need a padded cell and a straight jacket. I actually feel like someone ran over me with a semi-tractor or like a semi-truck. Uh huh. What the fuck, America?

What the fuck? What in the literal fuck is happening? Seriously though, I want to say because we have built a community here of listeners, of open-minded, accepting people, lots of members of the LGBTQIA plus community, and I just want to tell you from the bottom of my heart how sorry I am that so many of you probably have people in your lives that say they love you and they went and voted for that. And I know that hurts. I know that that really, really hurts.

And I had always been a white woman that was pretty much, you know, I experienced sexism, but a lot of really brave women fought before me so that I could be a business woman and be a working mom. And seeing the post-Roe election results, and that really hits, it really hits that. Wow. A lot of men don't want women to have these rights, but a lot of women don't want other women to have these rights. And that's just, it's really hard to reconcile. It's really hard to reconcile.

And just, I echo what you're saying. I'm so sad for women. I'm so sad for the black and brown community. I'm so sad for the LGBTQIA plus community. But my allyship is just as strong as it was yesterday. Yes, mine will be even stronger. Even stronger. And we just did an episode of IHIP News yesterday.

And in that podcast, I told our listeners, encourage on a micro level through this next Trump regime that we're about to live through, because it's going to be hell. We all know it. On a micro level, encourage people to champion for marginalized people. Humanize it. Don't accept it when people just say, oh, I'm just not into it. I just wish gay people would be quiet. It's like they're not wanting more than you. They're wanting the same.

And to minority groups and to members of immigrant populations, I'm horrified for what this has unleashed and how emboldened white supremacy is right now and that terrifies me and this is going to be hard. I mean this is gonna be a hard time to get through if we make it through the four years and are able to vote again, that would be the goal. That's the only thing that I can see as a positive sign through this whole thing is if there are any guardrails that get us to another election, then that could be what could help me persevere through this. But the immediate promise of Donald Trump's to start rounding people up is horrifying.

So I don't know if Biden can do a bunch of executive orders and grant everybody amnesty. And then I don't know if Trump can undo that. A lot of that is completely over my head. But welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Anchi. Kathy and Seth are still here.

Meemaw is still, I mean, she is still America's greatest legal mind despite being a wounded bird. And Kathy, you're still our favorite lesbian. Yep. Still gay. Still gay. Still going to be gay. They didn't vote you out gay. They're trying. They didn't vote the gay away. Yeah, they're trying. I've got a couple of reviews for you guys. Okay. Five stars. This one's titled A Plus Marriage Advice Podcast. And Deanna writes, listening to Jessica over the years has taught me that I can both love my husband and be highly irritated by everything he does, says, and in general, his daily presence in my home.

She just gets me five stars. Listener, listen, these are the things that we can help you with. Right. This is called a compound feeling. And if you don't have a black and white rigid worldview, you're able to have compound feelings. And when it comes to my husband, Josh, I love the shit out of that man. I mean, I just

fucking love him so much. As soon as he gets home from work and I think, God, I love him. He looks great. I hope he had a great day. And then he starts following me around the house and into the closet and narrating things that I do and have be laboring conversations and I think Okay, I'm done. All right. It's time to move along here. Well on that note yesterday My son was late. He was coming up here. He's supposed to be here at 330. He rolls in at 430 and I'm waiting for him and I just hung up the phone with him and I was just like I fucking hate him Kindly just I just hear Kylie go And I told him I was like I love you so much but sometimes I hate you too

Because that is the most relatable feeling in the world, as a parent, as a spouse. I think I would just extend it to people you have to live in close contact with. Sometimes you love me and hate me both at the same time. I mean, I just think that's living, especially in the same house. But I just think that people that say,

I just love everything about my spouse all the time. I just love everything about my spouse all the time. I just love everything about my kids all the time. I just think that's a lie. It's a lie. There's only one person on the planet that never got on my nerves that I loved 100% of the time. And that was Javi. Javi.

Our sweet Javi. And for those of you that missed that episode, one, a guy that we work with here that has worked for me since he was 18 years old, Javier Morales, whom we called Javi, was tragically shot three or four weeks ago. So we're still reeling from that. And then, you know, this election hickey, I mean, God, I don't know if we, Ma, we're going to make her take her, be able to take her to the assisted living center, because this has been a rough few weeks, rough 30 days. Okay, one more five star review. It's titled, Cacaw.

And they write, probably deserves less than five stars. Considering that Memaw keeps perpetuating the lie that bald eagles sound like that. Sorry, it's actually a red-tailed hawk call. Red? You know what? Since they got the eagle, that's what we will be. Right! We will be the red-tailed, can we name it a blue-tailed hawk? Now I have an aversion to red. Like a blue jay, maybe? I don't know what sound a blue jay is.

I just think we make up our own bird. It's a fictional bird. We're gonna have to make up our own bird. A blue tailed hawk. A blue tailed hawk. Okay, we're making up our own bird, a blue tailed hawk. Right now it sounds like cacaw. But we're gonna get the wind back in our sails.

It'll get stronger. It'll get stronger. One day I'm gonna be sitting here and the cacaw's just gonna blow you out of the car. Okay, do you guys want some voice memos? Let's do it. Okay, up first, we've got a voice memo from Jack. I noticed this during the Olympics and now I can't not notice it. Anytime there's some feat in sports, these announcers get so specific with the person to make them the first to do it. They'll be like, oh, this is the first person since 2022 who's born left-handed, who mom's a cunt to do this thing.

And it's like, okay, otherwise known as not the first person. And that's okay. You can be the fourth or fifth person to do something and it still be a really big feat. I've had it. We've had the first person to do it and that's it. We don't get to make this little group for this one person to be first. I've had it. Move on. I couldn't agree more. And you know what? I blame

this on helicopter parents. They are the ones that their little Johnny has to be the best in the first. So it's like my little Johnny wasn't the first person to ever dunk the ball, but my little Johnny was the first person that ever dunked it while wearing green tennis shoes and wearing a yellow vest and being six. What was that guy's name? That was Jack. Jack, I have a first for you. We're the first podcasters to ever adopt the blue-tailed hawk is what we are. And we're still trying to find our voice because we were miss-birding. You know, some people say they're misgendered. We've been miss-birded. And now we're re-birding and we are the blue-tailed hawk. Let's see if you can do it. What does a blue-tailed hawk say, Pumps?

Kikoo! It's better. It's better. See, we're re-birding. We're re-birding. We're re-birding. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pull-together

and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up, wouldn't you say, Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up, wouldn't you say, Pumps? I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of shit sandwiches. In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage

where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. Pumps, I have to tell you about these new cleaning products I've been using. They're called Branch Basics. I got the starter kit. It is a powerful plant and mineral-based solution designed to clean every room in your home from top to bottom without harmful chemicals.

What I really like about this product is it's concentrated so it makes it easier to store and I feel like I don't have to worry about my dogs on the tile because there's no harsh chemicals used. Listener, switching to non-toxic cleaning isn't just a smart choice for the holidays. It's an investment in your family's long-term health. With Branch Basics, it's easy to take the first step towards a cleaner, safer home for you and your loved ones. Get yourself and your loved ones the best gift of all, the gift of clean with Branch Basics. For a limited time only, our listeners get 15% off and free shipping on their premium starter pack when you use code HADDIT at branchbasics.com forward slash HADDIT.

That's 15% off your order at branchbasics.com forward slash HADDIT with promo code HADDIT. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you. Get Branch Basics this holiday season because cleanliness matters. You know, Pumps, the most wonderful time of the year is upon us, but I find it to be sometimes the most stressful time of year. I have all of the shopping I have to do and I also have to keep my house stocked. And a big part of keeping my house stocked are keeping my pet supplies stocked. And that's why I love Chewy so much. I'm even able to buy the dogs some little Christmas stocking stuffers.

That's what I was just going to say. I got Ollie some stocking stuffers to go with the food that he eats, and he is going to be so excited. Chewy has everything I need to keep my pet healthy and happy. You can shop on your schedule. Everything gets shipped right to your

door in one to two days, and it's for all pets. Dogs, cats, birds, fish, reptiles, and more. Chewy is helping to take the stress out of the holidays, take advantage of amazing holiday savings, and shop my personal favorites at chewy.com. Again, that's Chewy.com slash had it. One more time, Chewy.com slash had it. Okay, up next, we've got a voice memo from Fran. Hello to Princess DiAngela and her lesser known podcast co-host, What's your face? Josh Welch's wife. Anyway, what I had it with is these women who have made their husbands or boyfriends jobs and careers, their personality traits. I see this all the time from my little small Kentucky hometown talking about on their trucks,

on their t-shirts, on their Stanley cups. It'll be like lineman wife or lineman girlfriend or coal miners wife or married to the thin blue line. Get your own personality traits. These men are not out here on their trucks talking about nurse husband or husband to a stay at home mom. They're probably not trying to admit that they even have a wife. I fucking had it. I have felt this for the longest time when women make their entire identity an extension of their husband's profession. Totally agree. It is so self-defeating for women. I mean, men never do this. Never.

Ever do this about their wives. But women, their whole identity becomes whatever their husband's career is. Particularly, I noticed this with doctor's wives. I completely agree with that. I mean, it's like the doctor, the God complex that a lot of physicians have. The women just completely take that on too. I remember once I was in a conversation like the doctor, the God complex that a lot of physicians have. The women just completely take that on too. I remember once I was in a conversation with a woman, this is many years ago, her husband was a cardiologist. And he was talking about something

and I can't remember exactly how the conversation got, it was a weave, but anyway. Too soon. Too soon. Anyway, I said, so what did he say? And she said, what he was saying is that he holds a human life in the palm of his hands and it could go either way. He literally is so skilled that he can determine if somebody lives or dies.

She was talking about it. I hate her. As though like this man were on the battlefield and basically he's operating on somebody who'd, you know, had a heart attack due to poor dieting their whole lives. And it was just no disrespect to people that have had heart attacks. My dad has had one instance in his heart. No disrespect there. But I particularly see that with doctors' wives. Yeah, no, I see it with that too. And I just think if women don't have their own career or their own outlet for something that feeds them and their person, I think it just becomes more and more the identity of the husband. Like if they don't feed their own identity, they become more their husband's identity. And they also do it with their kids.

I would almost say it's worse with kids, wouldn't you? I would say it's worse with kids. I mean, people are so eating up with the dumb shits about their kids. And I think it's kind of unhealthy to put that much pressure on the kid that their accolades are your identity. Because kids need to start having separation from their parents. I mean, as an adult, I

have found the most fucked up adults that I know have completely meshed relationships with their parents where there are no boundaries. And it's very difficult for them to get away from it and make a chart, a course for their own life with their own identity. And that like proud this, proud that, or my son's this, my son's that. Of course you should be proud of your kid. I'm not, I'm so proud of my kids, but as my kids are now 18 and 21, I'm very cognizant that they are charting their own course. There are certain things I want them to take from our family of origin, and that's like to have a moral compass to fight for marginalized people. But outside of that, I think they both will

probably end up going to law school, but I want that to all be their choice and something they've accomplished on their own without something me attaching or accrediting myself to. Yeah, I completely agree. It's funny because as a single mom, all my kids are gone. And in so many instances, my kids, I've heard them tell their friends, like, how's your mom doing?

Is she sad? They're like, no, she likes it better with us gone. So I'm glad they don't have to worry because I have friends that have told me that are single moms that are, you know, live in their home alone, that they've told me when my, you know, my kids are worried when they leave that I'm gonna be so lonely and sad.

And so I feel like that be so lonely and sad. And so I feel like that's one really good thing. It is good. Is that my kids never have once, in fact, I heard Emily tell someone, or she told me the other day, how do you like it? And I go, I think I like it better with you all gone. And she was like, that doesn't surprise me at all.

Okay, up next we've got Samantha. Hi Jen, Pumps, Kali, love you all. This is Samantha from Kentucky and I forgot a major I've had it. My I've had it is I am so tired of people giving God the credit for my pregnancy. God's miracle. What a blessing. Oh, is it? God's so great.

What a miracle. No, what's a miracle and what's great is that I found a babysitter to go have time to have sex and get pregnant again unexpectedly. But my first pregnancy was just, oh, God's so amazing. God's so amazing. Yeah, sure, maybe, but I'm sorry. Does God have stretch marks? Does God's nipples hurt? Does God come home wearing dappers for six weeks? I don't think so. I just don't think women get enough credit for actually creating human bodies. And I'm just tired of God getting all the credit. Can somebody agree with me? Thanks. Love you. You know, I agree with this. And I could just go down the exact same rabbit hole with athletes that do the chest pump and the point up God after they make

a basket or a home run or a touchdown. I'm like, put a sock in it. I mean, acting like your athleticism was somehow, you know, your feet move faster because of divine intervention is insulting to everybody's intelligence. And how do you think it makes the other religious people on the opposing team think that maybe like God doesn't like them? Right. There's a lot of narcissism in that.

Yeah. There's a lot of, I mean, I about died when she said, I found time to have a babysitter to have sex. I mean, I babysitter for my kid so that I could go have sex. That's the miracle. Isn't that the truth? I remember those days. I mean, when your kids were little,

you're just in jail kind of. Right. I mean, there's just very little time for other things when you have little kids like that. Yeah. I kind of forgotten about the six weeks in a diaper after a kid. It's been so long. Good luck. Okay, up next, we've got Rob. Hey, bitches. Rob Craig, Charlotte, North Carolina here. Yep, North Carolina. You heard it right, enough said. Fucking had it up to my eyeballs and whatever's above that and needs some justification here. I fucking had it with going on a small group wine tour and finding out that out of the six people, two of them are toddlers and they need all of the back seats of the Mercedes very special van that we

booked. So my husband and I, who are two fully grown 40 year old men, are put in the front seat with the driver for nine hours in the Joro Valley of Portugal. Fucking had it. And to put the icing on the cake, about 15 minutes into this trip where we're stuck in the front, the kids are screaming and then one throws up. The parents do not have a change of clothes. They do not have wipes. But what do the gays have? The gays have wipes. The gays have napkins. The gays are prepared. I have to say nothing can ruin a good time as much as a toddler can. I absolutely agree and here's the deal.

I think there should be a law that toddlers cannot go on adult trips. Like why would somebody take their kid on a wine tasting tour? I think in civilized societies it is an unspoken law, but schlepping a toddler on some wine thing is just, that is a recipe for disaster. I understand the parents wanting to get intoxicated since they have a couple of toddlers, but taking them on a wine tasting tour is just, it's beyond me. I understand that toddlers, there are certain places they have to go. Like they have to go to, sometimes the mom needs to take them to the grocery store and they have to get

on airplanes at times. And I have empathy for the parents. When you're just voluntarily taking these toddlers to places that do not need to be, it's maddening. I'll never forget, I will never forget Roland Garros, the French Open tennis final. I'm sitting there and this woman who was wearing stilettos with a toddler. So that's rule number one. Who the fuck is schlepping around a toddler in a pair of stilettos with a toddler. So that's rule number one. Who the fuck is schlepping around a toddler in a pair of stilettos? That was the biggest red flag. The toddler keeps crying and pitching a fit. And so she's having to go up and down and up and down the exit taking the toddler out, bringing the

toddler in. Finally, like it's Carlos Alcaraz, the Spanish phenomenon. He's like about to serve and this toddler just starts wailing as she's, yes, and he has to stop and looks at her and she's like, I'm sorry. And I'm just like, this toddler doesn't know what tennis is. If you can afford French Open Finals tickets, you can afford a babysitter.

Why the fuck is this baby here, number one? And fundamentally, I still need to know why the fuck you're wearing stilettos to a sporting event. I don't understand that. I don't understand at NBA games when you go and people are sitting courtside, the stilettos. You have to schlep down all these bleachers. I do not understand stilettos at sporting events.

I don't understand stilettos most of the time. I do. You're great at it. I like a sexy shoe and I love stilettos and I understand fashion and the artistry behind it. I love all of that. There's a time and a place for them. I do not understand stilettos at sporting events, at football games, at soccer games.

Why the fuck, when you know you have to schlep around from the parking lot to get in and climb the bleachers stadiums, are you wearing stilettos? Oh, I've walked five miles to an OU game with behind somebody in stilettos and I can't wrap my head around it. Here's the deal. Here's another just huge offender on the get a fucking babysitter train. When you are at a wedding

and a kid screams the entire time and the parents don't take him out, I wanna just stand up and say, why the fuck did you bring this kid? Get a babysitter. What is happening? Like you're ruining everybody trying to be here. And I'm not a huge wedding fan,

but I just think that is so rude and you see it. I can't remember the last time I went to a wedding that a baby wasn't screaming. Here's the thing. If you have to bring a baby for whatever the reasons are that the baby or the toddler has to come, at least have the common decency once the kid starts shrieking.

And inevitably it will, because it's a baby or a toddler and their assholes, as we established on the very first episode of this podcast. Pick the child up and take it out of earshot from the majority of the people. I've been in so many situations recently where somebody is speaking and you cannot hear the speaker because a person has a toddler and the toddler's drowning everything out and it never occurs to the person to think, hey, will you let me know what they say while I'm gone?

I'm going to take my baby outside so it doesn't annoy everyone. Sitting there with a screaming toddler is such a next level entitlement that I can't relate to. When our kids were little, the minute they started acting out, one of us would swoop them up and we were immediately outside. I don't get that. I don't get it either. I remember very distinctly one time, Emily's thing when she was, she would throw up if she was mad and didn't get her way. I know you vividly remember it. And I remember one day we're sitting there and she starts throwing up and you scooped her out. You got her out faster

than I could. I rounded up everybody else because you were right next to her and you're like, we're going to be outside. You have to. You have to. You just, it's just an unspoken rule that you, toddlers are such a temporary thing and they can be so cute and so fun and you fall in love with them, I think, so that can help you get through the teenage years. But they're not cute to others. But the majority of the time when a toddler is amongst the public, they are a ticking time bomb of a grievance that is about to be unleashed and they rain hellfire on the general public. So as the parent, it is your duty

to scoop them up and remove them. I agree. And I'm just gonna go on record. I don't blame the toddler in these situations. I blame the parents. I will say the last two weddings I've been to on the invitation, it says no kids allowed. So I think that's a growing trend.

And I think it should be. Agreed. And I think it's a lack of common courtesy that they have to say it, but good for them for saying it. Now, do And I think it's a lack of common courtesy that they have to say it, but good for them for saying it. Now, do people abide by it? In my experience so far.

Okay, good. Pumps, our ability to suck and then wake up the next day and suck more than the previous day is undefeated. It's unparalleled. We are the champions. If you would like to see how bad we suck, please join us in New York City in November for you know just some world-class shit talking. That's right live, live and in person. That's right. Pumps, the holiday season is just right around the corner and if you're looking for easy gifting options, Osea's limited edition Super Glow Body Set

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It includes three of Osea's best-selling body care products at an incredible value. Packed in a box so beautiful, you can skip the wrapping paper. This is gifting made easy. But hurry before this limited edition set sells out. Give the gift of glow this holiday season with clean, clinically tested skincare from Osea. And right now we have a special discount just for our listeners. Get 10% off your first order site-wide with code HADDED at OseaMalibu.com. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Pumps, the holiday season is all about gratitude.

And sometimes I have a hard time centering myself and realizing I have a lot to be grateful for. And when I experience this lack of reaching gratitude, I schedule a session with my therapist from BetterHelp. It really puts things into perspective and I'm able to relish in the gratitude of the simple everyday gifts that I have around me. I feel like my better help therapist helps me from my mood swings. I feel like I go back and forth and back and forth. And when I feel that way, I know it's time for a therapy session with better help therapists.

And I will tell you, what makes me like it the most is that I can do it in my own home, on my own schedule. Listener, if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Let the gratitude flow with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash had it today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash had it.

OK, this is a Patreon cult member and summer. OK. I wanted to send Anna hit it. You know what I hit? I hit the fact that y'all talk about religion in terms that no one else uses in the South and I so appreciate it. In fact that's what helped me years ago realize I was actually a liberal because I really didn't realize that I was for a lot of years. And part of that was due to watching Religious, which I know Bill Moore, you know, has some

issues for sure. And I have anyone else that talks as openly or as frankly about religion as Jen and Pips and you guys and I just I love it I appreciate it he gives me life living in Arkansas in the Bible Belt is pure torture and I will tell you one thing I've had it with though that's my habit my habit is when people describe someone oh but he's a good Christian or she's just a good Christian woman. I'm like, what? That's a huge red flag for me. That means they're probably a terrible, shitty ass person is what that means. So like, don't ever tell me someone's a good Christian

or I'm going to know immediately that they are a sucky, sucky human. It's true. Everything she says is spot on. I know when I'm dealing with the business, if it has that Christian fish on it, I know immediately not to do business with them. If somebody has to be that broad and that robust with their religiosity, you know they're masking something. And living in the Bible Belt will make you less religious because there is a veneer and it is, oh, hi, how are you? Religious people only love the people that are in their little cult. There's no love for collectivism.

And I shouldn't say that this is not all religious people because I do have some friends that are like Christian light, like maybe Episcopalian or whatever, but evangelicals in particular are some of the cruelest people I've ever met in my life. I mean, right underneath that veneer, there is just racism, homophobia, judgment, cruelty, picking on people's physical appearances, just mean, mean shit that always takes my breath away. I am Summer. I had the exact same experience. Like I thought I was a Republican for all these years until I like lived and grew and did all that. So I completely, I get it, Summer. I get you.

Okay, up next, we've got Rihanna. My thing that I've had it with is people that don't have any spatial awareness, right? So you've been to London and it is busy as hell. There is loads of people not given a shit. They just go about their business. And so this afternoon, right, I decided that I was gonna wear flip-flops. Now that is just a disaster in itself when you're in London, right? But anyway, minding my own business, wearing flip-flops, going down the escalator

to get on the tube. And instead of this guy going around me he decided that he was gonna come right up behind me yeah so anyway so I'm just about to get off the escalator the guy stands on the back of me flip-flop I go flying hopping about I'm left with the tongue bit in the between me toes and the sole of me flip-flop is still on the escalator. I've had to stand there like a right twat and wait for me flip-flop to come off of the escalator. Honestly, I've had it.

Okay, I have to say I would have had it too because the one thing that I admire a lot, like if somebody were to say, Jennifer, list your top five things that you admire about civilization. I would say top three even is the escalator etiquette in London. The escalator etiquette in London should be admired by the entire world. Everybody stands on one side. You can pass. Everybody follows the rules, it's tidy.

So this is a huge, even more of an egregious violation considering they are nothing but exemplary in escalator etiquette. That this guy crowded in and stepped on the back of her flip-flop is a huge stain to the United Kingdom, in my opinion. 20 bucks says he was probably American. No, the efficiency of London is fabulous as a flip-flop wearer. I can't even imagine that, but I'm going to tell you what got me with that. I write twat.

Twat. I mean, there's nothing better than a British accent. And I'm kind of in my Stevie Nicks phase. So the fact that her name's Rihanna, I mean, I'm just, I'm all in. All in. Okay. The last one is from Jill. I've had it with these people that are in states where it is still legal,

protesting at abortion clinics and trying to manipulate women, and convince them not to have an abortion and not have a choice. So I think that we are missing the boat as women and protests and where we should really be protesting, I wanna start protesting at weddings. I'm going to get my son and go to a wedding for some young woman in her twenties and being like, hell no, don't go get married because marrying a man is pain in the ass. And they're

not going to know where anything is the rest of your life. And you're going to have to think for them and do for them. Hell no, don't get married. So wedding protests need to be the new trend. I like her idea, but I think I have one that could top it. I think we stand outside of pharmacies and protest Viagra. Oh my gosh. Yes. I think we just start, and we start playing the long game with this. You know, skirting the system for an erection is defying God's will. God intended for you to not have an erection for this long, and we make signs and we play the long game like the religious right has. And we take down geriatric erections at every turn that we can.

And young people that are trying to do it more in one setting than they probably should. Right. God only intended for your dick to be this hard for this amount of time. Not four hours. On this day only. If you're juicing, you are defying God's will. And so, you know, we stop juicing erections. And I think we do a very decades long game with this. And we start with pharmacies. And then also, I think we could just follow around FedEx trucks and UPS trucks. You just have to drive them. You know that they're going to some old guy's house. You just hop out with your sign. Jerry can't get an erection, so he just

ordered Viagra. We can put yard signs in. We can follow if they get like a four hems delivery. We can put a sign that says, Jerry has a limp dick. Jennifer, I mean, I've thought you've had many brilliant ideas. You know that. In 25 almost years of being friends, this might be the best one. All right. Here's the deal, listener. We have to reorganize and regroup based on what happened on Tuesday, November 5. We've established we have a new mascot, and it is the blue-winged hawk that says, ca-ca. Yes, but we also have a platform. We have a new platform. We have a new platform.

And what we think an issue that America can just address, that we can all address together, is juicing for unnatural erections. Right. We can make it platform. We can have like bylaws. You can be the attorney for the organization. Right. You can be the president. Kylie? She'll run the social media. Yeah, but I mean, I think a lesbian should be in a position of power in this committee. Don't you? Yes, but I think that's just a foregone conclusion. I think that that diminishes our cause because that just-

Okay, so we'll put Seth on there. Yeah. We'll get Seth on there. No offense, Kylie, but I mean, you don't bring any credibility to it. I don't. Because what they're gonna say is, of course that Lesi doesn't want a hard dick,

that's why she's a Lesi. Yeah. You know, would get that kind of pushback. What we need to do is we need to recruit men, Right. specifically gay men, because I think they might juice quite a bit. I was going to say there has to be a gay exception.

I agree, but I think- To start. But the situation with gay men is you find with marginalized people that they fight for marginalized causes the most. And so black women always vote for everybody because they get impacted the most. All of our gay listeners, the LGBTQIA plus listeners, they voted for women and they voted for themselves because all of these things are interconnected. I guarantee you that every gay triate listener, they might not like it, but they would say, I'm sorry, I can't juice anymore, Dave,

But they would say, I'm sorry, I can't juice anymore, Dave, because I'm a part of this cult and we have this blue wing talk and it's trying to find its voice. And this is our opposition. This is our resistance to this anti-woman movement. So it's just not going to be erections left and right anymore. It's just we're going to have to do it God's way. And then Dave might say, I thought God was against gay sex. And then, you know, the other person can say, I thought God was for lifting up marginalized people.

And then, you know, they can just devolve into this whole thing. But here we are, we're fucked, but we do have a bird. We have a new bird. We have a new bird. Kaka! Yep. The blue winged hawk. Is that what it is? You've changed it a few times. What was it originally? Blue tailed hawk. Is that

right? Blue tail. Now you're saying blue winged though. Blue winged hawk. Blue tail. I don't know. We'll work on it. We'll workshop it. We'll work on it. Next episode we'll scramble the jets because listen up, this might sound stupid, but we all need this bird. We just need something to cling onto that has wings that we can just close our eyes and envision. I don't know if this is a real bird or not, but I know that it's trying to find its voice and I'm gonna just ride this fucking bird

to get me through the hellscape that is upon us. Yeah, and I'm gonna work on my caca. I'm gonna really, I'm gonna practice. fucking bird to get me through the hellscape that is upon us. Yeah. And I'm going to work on my caca. I'm going to really, I'm going to practice. Maybe if I can do like low to high, high to low, I'm going to throw something sassy out there. Okay. All right.

Well, listener, make sure you are joining us on Patreon. And we still have a live show next week in New York City where we can all gather together. And it's called the People Suck Tour. And I don't think that has ever been more appropriate than today. Go Pumps, tell them. We will see you podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America always served with a side of petty

grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, Pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Cacaw. A little bit more enthusiasm. Cacaw. That's it. That's an eagle say? Cacaw. A little bit more enthusiasm.

Cacaw. That's it, that's, that's, Cacaw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there. you