I've Had It - You’re Not a #GirlBoss

Episode Date: March 30, 2023

Jennifer and Pumps let the listeners in on their weekly therapy sessions, airing out the many grievances. From angry adult women attempting to recruit you into their multi-level marketing scheme to the overzealous grocery store clerk. However, the real highlight of the episode goes to the brave listener that declared they've 'had it' with one of our beloved hosts..... Subscribe to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IveHadItPodcast Follow Us:I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps

So we're supposed to start the podcast. Welcome to your Thursday therapy session and a place to dump all of your petty grievances with myself, Jennifer, and the star of our show, our shining bright little diamond pops. I almost think you might be just a little bit twerked about that. I think it's so fun to say in the star of our show. Stop our bright shiny little diamond. Zip it.

Zip it. But you are the star of our show. And my very best friend and one of my favorite people on the planet. Oh, that's nice. You know, that's true. That is true. I know.

That's very, very, very, very true. So, listener, this is one of our favorite things to do is to get these voice memos from you because there is a lot of material out there and we only have those Tuesday episodes to dive into with a guest. But there is a lot of stuff that needs to be addressed in these therapy sessions that we have, a lot.

So without further ado, let's have Kylie start us off with our first contestant. Okay, the first one just goes by Aunt Baby. Aunt Baby, okay. Oh God, this is a good one. I have two, but I'll make them quick and do what you will. First one is when you pay for your God damn fucking plane ticket, you pay for your goddamn fucking plane ticket, you pay for the seat

by the window, you pay for the extra leg room, you pay just to have that little tiny, itty bitty, shitty bit of luxury that is left when flying through our friendly skies. And some chowed or some dickhead comes up to you and says, excuse me, can we switch seats because my little Braxton, Jackson, and Kayleigh Kinsey, fucker, child wants to sit and watch the clouds. No, no, Sharon or Karen, you're child, you're a precious little snowflake, has to sit or ask down. And the seat that you bought for her.

Because you weren't savvy enough to book your fucking ticket earlier, like I did. So there, my name is Julia. Love Julia. Okay, Aunt Baby Julia, that is some high quality. Five goals. I love that. That is excellent.

I'm gonna tell you a story that's very similar the kids and Josh and I were flying to Europe and We have Roman and I have seats next to each other and at the time Roman was probably nine years old and so we have these two middle seats and then there is a couple that And then there is a couple that they're probably in their late 40s, early 50s. And they ask Roman if he can move somewhere so that they can sit by each other. Yes. And I literally look at them. I'm like, well, you know, it's like a 10 hour flight. And he's my child. He's nine. So I think I'm gonna sit with him. And like Josh was sitting with Dylan. Well then they start, they keep asking the people.

Because they want to sit by each other? They finally get together. Oh my God, I hate them. They're total dicks, total dicks. And they end up, they are the hand holders, the entire flights. Which means they immediately broke up the minute they landed. Yes, I mean, it was over the top.

So they're like pdang all the way to Europe. Pdang the whole way. Every time I'd get up the restroom, I would look at them and they are like literally like twister the game where they're just all twisted up together. And I'm just thinking, why do you have to cuddle like this on an airplane? Right. Well, if they love each other so much, why didn't they buy seats together? Like Julia says, buy your tickets, assign your seats. Right.

Now, I don't like all of the feckery that goes on after you have gone onto the World Wide Web and selected your very own seat. And you almost like visually can picture it. Okay, I'm gonna be by the window on the left side of the plane. I'm gonna lean my head over. And then somebody comes, there's always some skunk at the garden party. It has to come shit on your parade.

And then they drag the kid into it. Right, now I am happy to move though for two kids to sit, I mean, a mom and a kid to sit together. Like if I'm flying somewhere about myself. Yeah. And somebody I'm happy to do that. But I could never in a million, imagine someone asking a child to move so they could sit by their significant other.

I was so shocked that they asked. I was fond of it. And I kind of lived in there like, we're together and I was like, this is my child. Who gives a shit if you're together? Right. Fuck and grow up and go sit in your fucking seat. Oh, I hate them. No, they were awful.

Good one, Julia. That's so true. Lots of fuckery going on. Lots in this, friendly skies. Okay, the next one is H. Briggs 13 on Instagram. Okay. Hi, I'm Heather and I have had it with random people from high school using social media to sell their pyramid scheme products. I don't want to buy your shakes, your oils, your shampoo, your magic coffee, or your meal plan, where ground beef on bell peppers counts as nachos.

I definitely don't want to join your boot camp challenge. These people never come out and say what they're selling. They like to be vague and brag about how they used to be bald, overweight and constipated. But now, thanks to the nameless miracle, they have thick hair, toned bodies, and take large satisfying shifts every day. Guess what? You're not a hashtag, girlboss,

you're taking advantage of your friends and family to sell shit and I've had it. Okay, Heather, this is something that we are 100% on board with you and it's called forced capitalism. We're gonna do a whole episode about it because it is so rampant and ridiculous. Forced capitalism is a huge fucking problem. Huge. It is a huge problem where people force the capitalism upon you. And that is what your high school friends are doing to you.

This is similar to the kiosks in the mall. You're just walking down the mall. And next thing you know, people are spraying shit on you, rubbing lotion on your hands, and you didn't choose to go in that store because the kiosk is out in the public part of the mall. And so like if you go into banana republic and there's an overzealous saleswoman, you can just, you know, I tell it right on out of there. It is awful. The worst is in your home. We're like a friend invites you to a party and they're selling shit at the party. So you feel like you can't leave unless you buy something. Do you remember that time when our kids,

remember when we sent our kids to that Jewish preschool because it had great hours? We loved that little school. Anyway, this mom called me and she's like, Hey Jennifer, this is blank and I have this great opportunity for you. And I was like, oh okay what is it? I'm thinking she's gonna say I have a great babysitter for you. Right. I want to share or whatever. She's like, I sell Arbonne and I think that you would be phenomenal at selling Arbonne.

And I'm like, I don't I don't want to sell it. I don't want to have any part of it. She gets so mad at me and she keeps going on. You would be so good at it. You need to do this. And I was like, I don't want to do it. Right, I don't care how good at it I would be. I don't want to buy it.

Right, no part of it. I don't want to use it. I don't want to sell it. And I want to cease talking to part of it. I don't wanna use it. I don't wanna sell it. And I wanna cease talking to you about it. That's how over the whole thing, to this day when I see her, she is still super icy to me. Because I did not want to sell Arbonne

and she needs to be stopped. This is why Heather sent a voice memo to a podcast DM because what happened to me did not happen in a vacuum. Anyway, I agree with you, Heather. It's a problem and Congress needs to act. There's a long list of things that need to be taken care of. That's probably in the top 10, for sure. Maybe we can start a super pack. Say no to force capitalism. Okay, Kylie, what's next?

Up next we've got Demi W. Okay, Demi. I've had it with, listening to Jennifer talk about pickleball, so I was curious and put it in my search bar on TikTok now every other video is about pickleball. Fuckin' at it. Fucking love Demi. She is speaking my language. Like you have a rare talent that any subject,

I could say my dog died and you say, well, at pickleball, I mean, there's no pickleball reference that you won't bring in unnecessarily. So Demi, thank you, thank you, thank you, lever. And I also love that she Googled it on TikTok, and now it's every other video. That just fucking sucks. Your phone is just not your friend sometimes. So, Demi, I would apologize to you, but that would take a big person. We all know how petty you are.

And I am a very small little person. And I love pickleball. And I'm secretly so happy that in your ugly thoughts towards me, that you're now being tormented and stalked by the algorithm. So anyway, don't hate the player, Jimmy. Don't hate the player. OK, she hates the player in the game.

OK. OK. It's true. I can see why people will have had it with me over pickleball, but I'm going to tell everybody this. Pickleball has been something that brought out something better in me. I cough. Fuck you or such a fucking bitch. We don't have to have a manifesto. We're all clear you love pickleball. Oh, listen, I'm gonna say something really sweet. God, okay. Listen.

Okay. Why are you being such a bitch? Kylie and I caught eyes when you started in on your pickleball. And I'm just like, here we go. Okay, I'm just gonna tell you this. I had a no-new friend policy for many years. Right. You know that.

I know that. A very stern, very strict, no-new friend policy for many years. You know that. I know that. A very stern, very strict no-new friend policy. I mean, and I actually was trying to shed friends and make my world even smaller. And I have met the most wonderful, awesome people that I now play pickleball with. And I think it's making me a kinder, gentler person that has more friends. And they're like, I mean, don't think I'm going crazy. I'm going to start crying a kinder, gentler person

that has more friends and they're like, I mean, don't think I'm going crazy. I'm gonna start crying all the time right away like that. I mean, that's not gonna happen. I'm not gonna cry and post it on the internet. Don't think I'm gonna, you know, no, I'm not gonna cry and post it on the fucking internet. People do. Anyway, fuck you to me.

Fuck you, Pops, and fuck you, Kylie, who's next? I went to him to know that that also has happened to me since I started working here. Yeah. And my phone's near you at all times. Yeah. I scroll and it's like by this pickleball racket. Uh-huh.

I'm getting pickleball accessories, clothes. Yeah. It's happening. Yeah. It's pickleball by proxy. Pickleball adjacent. Yeah. Pickleball adjacent.

Uh-huh. OK, the next one and the last one is Allison M. Okay. I've had it with these Yak mouth grocery store clerks making a comment on every fucking thing on the conveyor belt. Oh, have you tried these? Oh, I've been wanting these. These sound good. These are my favorite. Oh, someone's having a party. I'm coming in with you. Just keep it moving and put the shit in the bag. I got things to do. Could not agree more.

Could not agree more. Completely agree. I don't like that is, it's like judgment. And they do it. Like I, maybe I am having some people over. Maybe I just feel like eating a bunch of shit today. Right. Now, I totally get the judgment thing. If you have a bunch of snacks, like little kid snacks or sweets, or, oh, well, you're not worried about gluten or something. And you're like, shit the fuck up. Yeah. Nobody asked you to comment on my grocery order. Yeah.

No, I completely agree. Or like when you're buying a bunch of alcohol, I've heard that, you know, now they have in Oklahoma, it's very new that they sell liquor in grocery stores. And I've heard somebody be like, oh, well, this is a lot of liquor. You're sure you can handle all this. Like, why are you making a comment? Yeah. About how much wine she's buying. Yeah. It's none of your fucking business. business. She wants to sit in the parking lot and drink till she passes out and call a neighbor. That's her business. Shut up.

No, it's, I can't, I don't like all of the extra yak melting. I hate it. I absolutely despise it. It's bad enough when they say, did you find everything okay? Because you're not gonna go, you know, I really was looking for these cotton balls, but I didn't have, I always say, yep, I did.

Even if I've spent 30 minutes working for something, I'm like, yep. No, it is at waiters that talk too much. It's, I don't. Nothing can ruin a nice dinner more than a waiter that thinks they're part of the party. It's just too much. Too party. It's just too much. Much, it's way too much.

Josh and I were in London once in this waiter. Just, I mean, he just yacked. And yeah, you completely ruined our lunch. It will ruin your whole thing. We were dining al fresco. It was a beautiful sunny September day in London. And yeah, well, it's fucking yak mouth waiter. Just starts in.

He starts in. He's an expert on everything. Then he starts telling, he's an expert on the United States of America, even though he's not American. I'm like, here's the deal, buddy. Shut up. I don't want to hear this. I want to eat lunch with my husband, not with you.

Right. And it was never ending. We liked the food so much. We thought about going back the next day because Josh and I will do that. But we like a rush. No, because of him. Yeah. No, it's bad. I think the grocery store is what we're learning on this podcast is just a minefield. The grocery store is a huge, huge problem. You've got cart abusers, people that whip out their vacation about how you something that happened to me at the grocery store. This was about three years ago. So I was really into the,

or am into those, you know, the reusable bags. So you don't have it in plastic bags. You know, you have your own little grocery bags. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bring your own grocery bags. Yeah. And I had a set of about five that were fantastic and they were kind of big.

Everything could fit in them perfectly. So I get my grocery cart and I put my bags that I brought from my groceries to be bagged in underneath my cart, like on the lower shelf of the cart. So I go to check out at the checkout counter and I get down to get my bags and they're not there. And I was like, I swear to God, I had my bags here, hang on one second, keep

check, you know, keep scanning all this stuff. I'm going to go scan the aisles it must have fallen out. Right. So as I go to start scanning the aisles, two rows down, there is a woman who has every all five of my bags. And so I say to her, Hey, those are my bags. They fell out of my cart. I need them back. And she goes, no, they're not. And I go, her, hey, those are my bags. They fell out of my cart. I need them back. And she goes, no, they're not. And I go, yes, they are. And she goes, I brought these. And I go, you realize there's about 9,500 video cameras above us, right?

So do you want to go down this road with me? You're going to give me my fucking bags back. And she was like, well, I, and I was in the guy, the manager, like, sees the whole thing go down because there's nothing worse than a liar Dumbled down on the stolen bag if she just would have said oh my god I saw them so sorry here. They go but she lied and said that she brought them and you know Gershie stores have all the video camera right so the manager sees that like it's escalating might have a little Death step here and he's like I'm gonna give you bags. And I was like, I kind of want those bags. I want those bags. And now you're being just a touch petulant because I took the high road always was gracious. So you let her keep the bags. I just, I

mean, I didn't want people again, I took into account the people waiting in line by me. They don't want to go into the whole deal. I didn't want to be the problem. At the grocery store, like this fucking lying liar was, she stole my bags and then lied about it. That's, I mean, that's bad. Awful. I mean, stealing and doubling down. On the, on the, on the, I'm trying to be a good ambassador to the planet with my bags and I get dicked over by the lying liar.

He lies a lot. Yes, he stole my grocery bags. That's bad. What a bitch. What a bitch. We hate her. Tough had it with her. Yeah. Alice in the grocery stores are a problem.

They are from fellow consumers. And I'll tell you something. It really, really, really, really bugs the shit out of me. I mean, from top to bottom Couples that grocery shop together and hold hands while it's so In the shopping. I don't get it. I don't understand it. I'm like there are a lot of romantic places on the grocery store Is not one. No, it's go in get your shit pay for your shit get the fuck out. Right. I don't know if it's a browsing thing I mean, I I could not imagine why you would take your spouse. Josh, should I have gone to the grocery store together?

Like, I would say divide and conquer. We divide and conquer. Right. One hand is on a cart, the other hand, there's no-one's- There's no-one's- I don't care what the venue is. And it's an aisle.

It could be a fucking wall grain. People have to pass. I've still had it. Yeah, no, I don't. Too much. Okay, well, listen, thank you for joint. We've, I, do you feel better? I feel better. Yeah, I feel better. We got a lot of our chest and listener, we hope you have to, and don't get it twisted. Okay, don't, don't get anything twisted for a second, because we have had it with a lot of things, and we have it out in these therapy sessions. Then we go out in the world and feign happiness and grace, dignity and respect for others.

We encourage you to do the same, but join us when, Pumps. Tuesdays and Thursdays, we will see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both. DMS some more, uh, voicememos. Pumps you nailed that closing. Did I miss it out? No, no, you nailed it a hard time. The entry clap, you're getting really good at. But I'm fading at the end.

You're fading at the end. The sorority voice comes out. What was that? Or both? Or both? Yeah. Both? Yeah, just follow us like us.

Like me more than her. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha