Jack - Live at The La Jolla Comedy Store

Episode Date: July 7, 2018

BONUS - In this week's second bonus minisode, we give you the recording from MSW's first live show at The La Jolla Comedy Store on July 3rd! Enjoy!

Season 4 of How We Win Is Here For the past four years, we've been making history in critical elections all over the country. And last year, we made history again by expanding our majority in the Senate, eating election denying Republicans and crucial state house races, and fighting back a non-existent red wave. But the Maga Republicans who plotted and pardoned the attempted overthrow of our government now control the house. Thanks to gerrymandered maps and repressive anti-voter laws. And the chaotic spectacle we've already seen shows us just how far they will go to

seize power, dismantle our government, and take away our freedoms. So, the official podcast of the persistence is back with season four. There's so much more important work ahead of us to fight for equity, justice, and our very democracy itself. We'll take you behind the lines and inside the rooms where it happens, with strategy and inspiration from progressive change makers all over the country. And we'll dig deep into the weekly news that matters most and what you can do about it, with messaging and communications expert,

co-founder of Way to Win, and our new co-host, Jennifer Fernandez-Ancona. So join Steve and I every Wednesday for your weekly dose of inspiration, action and hope. I'm Steve Pearson. And I'm Jennifer Fernandez-Ancona. And this is How We Win. So to be clear, Mr. Trump has no financial relationships with any Russian oligarchs. That's what he said.

That's what I said. That's obviously what our position is. I'm not aware of any of those activities. I have been called a surrogate at a time or two in that campaign And I didn't have not have communications with the Russians. What do I have to get involved with food and for nothing to do with food and I've never spoken to him I don't know anything about a mother than he will respect me Russia if you're listening

I hope you're able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing So it is political you're a communist the 30,000 emails that are missing. So it is political. You're a communist. No, Mr. Green. Communism is just a red herring. Like all members of the oldest profession, I'm a capitalist. Welcome everybody to the world famous LaHoya comedy store for Mollershi Road Live. Yeah, we're going to do some stand up beforehand before we get things kicked off.

Just a couple house rules to lay down for you. Ooh, lights. A couple of things to lay down for you, house rules wise. Please keep the table talk to a minimum. If you need to use the restrooms, they're just right back there where the lights says restroom. Please turn off your phone, silence them. Don't text.

No flash photography. Please keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times. Also, if you parked at Vans, move your car. They will tow your car. Nobody parked at Vans, all right, good on you. Well, should I do it right now? Yes, do it now.

Do it now. Do it now. That brings me to the final house rule. No heckling everybody. Please be respectful of those on stage. There will be times in the show where you can interact. There will be times in the show where you can interact There will be games and quizzes and audience interactions in Q&A. So save those comments for later You got it Guys, I'm gonna be your host for the stand-up portion. My name's Russell. How's everybody doing everybody? Everybody cool Awesome I'm gonna end up portioned. My name's Russell. How's everybody doing? Everybody, everybody cool? Awesome. I know you're thinking like,

oh, that's what it would look like if a young Ethan Hawke made a McCullochalkin Aits baby. With Wesley from the Princess Bride and dressed him up like a Nazi disguised as the coastal elite. Hi. Hey there, I'm Chris Hayes from MSNBC. Thanks for watching MSNBC on YouTube. If you want to keep up to date with all the videos we're putting out, you can click, okay, I'm gonna stop.

I think that's the worst thing the Trump administration has done to me personally. Just that I know Chris Hayes' YouTube sign off by heart. That's where I'm at. Donald Trump, man, what the fuck, how did that happen? That's where I'm at. Donald Trump, man, what the fuck, how did that happen? Everyone's like, oh, Donald Trump, oh, he's the new shocking thing. He said, fuck off, he's not shocking anymore. Shocked while he's done.

Like, I won't even be shocked when he gets on TV one day and goes, the American people deserve the truth. And that's when he reaches the top of his head, and he pulls the zipper down, and his skin suit falls. And there's like five iguanas dressed as Hitler standing on each other's shoulders. Like the little rascals applying for a sketchy bank load from Deutsche Bank.

They just scatter off into the Oble Office. They protest a women's clinic, spit on a gay couple. I don't know what a fucking white nationalist reptiles who hang out on Reddit doing their free time and it's guessing here. It's crazy, man. World doesn't make sense anymore, you know? It just doesn't make any sense.

There's a heroin epidemic in America. You turn on the news. Heroin epidemic in America you turn on the news heroin epidemic in America I don't know why I said that like a 1940s radiocaster heroin epidemic in America make sure you bring your best gal to the ice cream and social lynching later Make sure you buy American war bonds and American turpentine cigarettes made with real American turpentine Perfect for smoking around your asthmatic baby and making his lungs big and strong in American Make sure you show your girlfriend. What's what when she gets emotional with you? Here's the number one hit single What a real humdinger

Heroin epidemic Maybe it's just me, but I think heroin has bad PR Caravan needs a new image consultant, you know, we should focus on the good heroin has done Not the countless lives it's destroyed focus on the positive The opium wars of 2856. Everyone was a junkie. No, man. Hairwind has done some good.

Like, think about this. Hairwind single-handedly got sublime to stop making music for like a good 20 years. If that's not something to celebrate with a ticker tape parade down every Main Street in America. I don't know what is you guys. Hair went up the dynamic. Nothing fucking makes sense, man.

A couple of years ago, British Cruisalign Commission and exact replica of the Titanic be built. This is not like a bad guy damn idea to you guys. So you are not reacting. So I'm just guessing you'd be on board if I was like, hey, young Rippa Snappah hop on board my new dirigible, Hindenburg 2.0. While you're at it, book a window seat on this Malaysian airplane. Harrison Ford will be your pilot.

Yes, sick burn on grandpa Ford. Nothing makes sense man. Five transformers movies. How the fuck did that happen? Five. Transfers, who face? How? You guys understand that's a misappropriation of funding of the highest caliber? Like, each of those movies cost $200 million to make. We made five! You understand if Optimus Prime and Megatron just sat at the fuck out,

we wouldn't have to keep sending Tom shoes to all these third world countries that desperately need food. Oh, you guys all Tom Schoes owners, I love what Gilton Schoes formed, Lil' Candace Slip Hodge, and they disintegrate after two weeks of usage. They got a policy one for one, you buy a pair of Tom's, they donate a pair to Lil' Kid and a third world country it's great. Imagine being a child in a third world country you have to continue with war, famine, death, genocide all the awful things are

happening all the time and then low and behold on the outskirts of your village single wouldn't crate with a parachute to fix to it. Drifts down and lands on a lone sand dune and you're so excited. You got to spring in your step, a song in your heart, you grab your dead brother's femur bone to pry the box open! In your reach inside and it's a pair of canvas slip-on to you throw them at the local gate couple. The one for one policy is cute, but Tom's does not tell you about their return policy. If you return your Tom's within 30 days, Black Hawk helicopters descend on a lone Rwandan village.

Soldiers pile out and they hold little... Down. And they pull off his thoms. They hand him a pop tart and AK-47 and make America great again, Hatten go fuck you and they fly off into the night, blaring the Transformers 12 soundtrack by sublime. Guys, that's going to do it for me. You're going to see a bit of me for a minute.

It is my honor and privilege to bring up this next comic. He's the host of Burn Booth. He's a member of the punchline posse. Everybody, make it out for the very funny, Zach Miller. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Hi. Yo, what's up, party people. He stopped clapping pretty fast. This is the type of crowd that's waiting on some indictments. Not jokes. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- Sorry I've been getting this over with. AG, tell me some shit about Cohen that'll make me sleep at night. Alright, fuck that, I only got eight minutes. Any parents here tonight were the baby makers at,

who made other human beings with your sex parts? Ah, okay. Good to see there's a couple party people, part of the revolution out on a Tuesday enjoying some jokes and some mallars she wrote. I am also a father. I know my general disposition and t-shirt and pants and shoes say otherwise.

But I am a father, I got two beautiful kids at home up in Chino. Yeah, man, I don't know why, okay, thanks. My kids are by-racial. My kids are julepinos. Because their mother is Jewish, and I am Filipino. Ha! Nah, that's the other way around.

Julepinos are good mix in some ways. Other ways, not so much. Like, I think it's a good mix in some ways. Other ways not so much. Like I think it's a good mix for my son Brady because he's going to be eight this month. And I'm hoping he grows up to be a boxer like Manny Pacquiao, who at the same time can do his own taxes. Because Jewish people are good at taxes. It's a terrible combination because with those two ethnicities, there's almost a hundred

percent chance that that same son is going to grow up to have the smallest penis in the history of penis. Those of you guys laughing right now, clearly have no soul. There's nothing funny about that shit. That's my son! My only son! He's supposed to carry on my family name, and he's going to have a baby dick forever,

or until 3D biological matter printing, plastic surgery, and his bar mitzvah collide. Because it's like five years out, and I feel like we're pretty close. Science has been doing some things, y'all. We may be on the precipice as a civilization of fake penite. They've had fake boobs for 40 years. They've had good ones for 20. If you got fake boobs in the 80s or early 90s,

there's a good chance they misplaced the nipple or put a scar in a weird spot. But since like 98, they've been going through the armpit, everything's looking pretty kosher. So 28 years, 20 years later, 2018, It's like 98, they've been going through the armpit, everything's looking pretty kosher. So 28 years, 20 years later, 2018, I feel like we got to be pretty close, man. I feel like it's almost time for fake dongs. And I hope it is.

And I hope it goes down the same way. Where I'm driving home, up the 15 freeway, and I see a billboard. Jump needing upgrade. 89.99 a month with approved credit. Ah, cuz yo, if I get a new penis for a T-Mobile bill, I'm getting too homie. One for my son and dad is in fact getting an upgrade. That's right. And I'm not half-stepin' either, dude. Some women go, uh, get fake boobs, they're like, eh, I just went from a beat cup to a see cup.

Not me, dude. I'm going from a egg cup to a, oh my. It's gonna be stupid, dude. They're gonna have to bring my new shit into the operating room in a wheelbarrow. The last thing I wanna hear when I'm passing out from the anesthesia is, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Yup, that's the sound of the truck, backing up with my shit.

It's gonna be stupid, man. They're gonna have to reinvent pants All right some of you guys came to party some of you guys are still letting that Moscow mule set in cuz Millennials like to drink fucking expensive as drinks at a fucking World War one cups like that school Yeah, let me get a $25 World War One cup too. Make that happen, Pimpin. I think I'm a good dad. I keep it touch with my kids' teachers. I think that's important.

I got one going in the first, one going in the third. You got to communicate, man. My kids' teacher, Brady, my son, his second grade teacher, Miss Cordham called me a couple months ago. And she said, hey, man, my kid's teacher, Brady, my son, his second grade teacher, Miss Cordham, called me a couple months ago, and she said, hey, Zach, something happened in class, I don't want you to freak out, it's not a big deal. Like, well, what happened? She said, listen, I was teaching the class

about Eleanor Roosevelt, and I asked the class, does anybody know who the first lady is currently? And your son raised his hand like you knew the answer. So I said, Brady, do you know who the first lady is today? And he said, I think I know. She goes, well, who do you think it is? And he goes, stormy Daniels? This happened.

This actually happened. And this is a pretty, you know, bias crowd. So I'm sure there's some people that would hear that and be like, oh, well, that's the president's fault. Maybe. But it's definitely my fault. Because I leave cable news on through dinner or as my kids call it, the snooze. And I can see how they can confuse the information and he can make that informational piece happen in second grade. It's also my fault because every father in here and every father on the planet knows a good father

teaches his son about side bitches in first grade. It's really my fault. Crazy demon. It's shit as dude. Crazy D, man. It's shit as dude. What are we like, 550 days in? Shit as nuts, bro. Crazy D, that's what I call him. Crazy D, because whether you love him or hate him, we can all agree.

That dude is fucking nuts. He gives no fuck, stug. Dude, Poon could clap him any day and he's just over there eating McDonald's like an idiot. Ah, crazy D, man. Crazy D. Crazy D is the most famous human being in the history of civilization. That's stupid. Donald Trump is so famous, he makes Michael Jordan look like a bench player on the globe drivers.

Crazy D dude. His television show is the hottest show in the history of television. Two networks, simulcast it 24 hours a day. MSNBC and CNN. He's made them mad fucking money. Crazy D show, season one, bananas. Crazy D-Show season one, bananas. Season two, killing it North Korea any day, dog. Talk about drama. Season three, we'll see. There's that new dude, you guys have heard of him. Mueller, yeah man. His TV show, his TV show is getting really high ratings.

It may take a chunk out of the crazy D-market. It's called Squill or no squeal. Uh, and motherfuckers are squealing. All right, man, we had some fun, guys. Enjoy the rest of the show. See you a little bit. Have a good night. Thank you.

Yeah, yay. Guys, give it up for Zach one more time. Alright, guys, I'm super happy to bring up this next comic. He's the host of Tonight in San Diego. Everyone, make it loud for Jesse Egan! Thank you. Thank you so much. Let's give it up for Zach one more time. I was really funny, man. I enjoyed that. Thank you guys so much for coming out to the Moller Sheer

Road Live podcast show. Really appreciate you being here. My name is Jesse Egan, or is you guys know me, A.G. huh? What do you think about that? Crazy. Not what you pictured. Is it? No. No. I changed my voice for the podcast.

Incredible, right? And I'm a chick. Did you know that? No. OK. No, you'll meet her later. I'm actually Jolissa Johnson. So,

Annie Hoops. Good to see you guys. I'm really excited to be here. I'm glad to be here in real life with you guys. I'm just glad to be off Facebook to be honest with you. It's too goddamn angry now. I hate Facebook. As soon as you log in,

it's just like hatred, anger, racism, disaster. I'm like, I do as soon as you log in it's just like hatred anger racism disaster I'm like, I'll just log back off I think you know like Facebook is turning into like that angry relative that we avoid You know like like oh here comes Uncle Frank. Oh shit nice day, huh Frank is like My borders inflamed the government stealing the coupons out of my mail Don't get me started on the Mexicans like what I'm not I'm not going to Frank. I'm not I was just gonna invite you to Thanksgiving again my girlfriend's Mexican. I think she'll want to meet you really that's what I Facebook's too angry the opposite by the way is Instagram, which is like totally stoked to be alive totally stoked to be alive. Right?

I think in Facebook's like, the world is burning and then Instagram's like, here's my feet by the beach by a corona. Okay. Honestly, Instagram is like your cousin that's doing better than you, that everybody brags to you about like, well, I can't be more like your cousin Francis.

He's always on the beach or the corona by his feet. He just bought a fucking boat. I'm like, shit, well I would. Then I turn into Uncle Frank, I'm just pissed off. I would, but the government stealing the coupons out of my mouth. Fuck you Francis. Anyway, but everything's online.

I'm glad to be here in real life. I'm trying to meet a real woman in real life. That's not going too great. Most of the things I've been on, on Bumble. I've been trying to do a real woman in real life. That's not going too great. Mostly because I've been on Bumble. I've been trying to do it on Bumble. Anybody here on Bumble? You guys know? Bumble, OK, just me and you, man.

I feel like we should have better fucking odds, you know? Where's the matches you're getting them all? You son of a bitch. Yeah, well, you look good. I don't know. The thing about Bumble is, so I'm trying to figure out, like, what do women want? But on Bumble, the difference is they have to talk to you first. They have to message you first.

So what I've learned is what women are looking for is to be left alone. That is just total radio silence. That's what we're going for. So good to know. Didn't realize all those dumb pickup lines were wasted. I guess. I don't know. Yeah, trying to go out with girls like that are younger than me, which is stupid too. I went out with this one girl told me she was straight edge and I And I was like, ah, what is that? Like those jeans? Is that, are you one of those flatterthers?

Are you, is this Mormon only in the butt stuff to find straight-edge? Please. She's like, no, means I can't smoke or drink. Or like, do any drugs. I'm like, oh, this might not work out. That gray. I don't think.

I went on another date, the girl immediately told me, I love cocaine! I was like, fuck, I need something in the middle here, honestly. I'm looking for like the porridge of ladies. That's what I'm looking for. Like this porridge is kind of hot. This one's full of fucking cocaine. It's some good porridge.

That with that porridge. Stuff being single, man. I went out with this one girl who was like 22. I might the way to old for that. I didn't understand any of what she was saying, you know? She's like using all the news slang, you know. She's like, we should have like a kick back. I'm like, is that a new drug?

Cause fuck yeah, let's kick back. I'm like, I'm just like, I got your old. I'm like, yeah. I'm so old I fuck yeah, let's kick back. I'm like, I'm just like, God, you're old. I'm like, yeah. I'm so old I just realized how to say the phrase grown ass man. You know, like when you say, don't mess with me cause I'm a grown ass man. When saying it wrong, you're telling people, don't mess with me, I'm a grown ass man.

They're like, what get away from me? Watch out, honey, he's an ass man. He looks to be fully grown. I'm like, whatever, just trying to slide into those DMs. Is that a dungeon master? I don't know, but I'm sliding. I'm just trying to stay taint up. Is it taint or turnt?

I don't, my whole squad gets taint. That's all I know. I mean, don't be throwing shade at my taint, either. My taint is on fleek. So, my taint is lit. You ever lit your tain, sir? It's not a good idea, sir.

Turns out, don't like that bumble, brother. He's... Oh, I just know you got to stay woke. That's what I know. Am I right? Come on, Mullerites. You got to stay woke. That's what they say.

And not going to have to just be woke. You had to be woke, AF, whatever that is. You have to be woke. That's what they say. And not gonna have to used to be woke. You had to be woke AF, whatever that is. You have to be woke as Alfredo sauce. You just, woke as a joke. You know what I mean? I tell women, I'm from Woke LaHoma. You know, they don't woke, don't fix it. That's what I say.

I don't even have a snooze button on my alarm clock. I just have a stay woke button. I hit that shit all day long. I gotta stay woke AF baby And these streets I don't know what any of that shit meant by the way, but I'm just I'm learning I need a youth Translator I talked to my mom. She still uses old slang like dungaries Anybody know that where's like are you wearing your dungaries? I'm like, no, we've switched the jeans now. Mother, we, like our pants without dungin' them.

That's all, you know, you, are you wearing your brown dungaries? I'm like, yes, I shit my pants. I'm going out, are you happy, mother? She calls guacamole, guacamole. I don't really have a full joke about that, but she's just like, who are you gonna have? Do you want some more guacamole on your tacos?

I'm like, we're going to Chipotle, not the fucking Dave and Buster's mother. What? That's my mom. Anyway, I gotta get off here, but I'm really happy to be here with you guys. I'm stoked. I recently got to fly for comedy, so it's going well.

Thank you. Yeah, that's a little premature. It was spirit airlines, have soon. airlines, which is my price range. It's $9 to fucking anywhere. That's a good deal. I know it's the cheapest airline because there was graffiti on the plane, you guys. And I was like, did you get tagged or is that your logo?

I don't know. They only have one employee, which is cool, that's spirit. You know, it's nice woman. I got one to check my bag at the gate as a woman, a merna, and then I had to run up to make my flight. I give the ticket at the, it's fucking merna again. I was like, holy shit. Did you spread merna?

You were fast AF. Goddamn, I got on the plane. Merna's the flight attendant too. She's like, sit down, buckle up. I gotta go fly this air bus thingy. There's only one of us. I was like, guys, cutting corners on spirit, man. And the seats don't recline either, which I didn't know.

Did you guys know that shit? But the seats don't recline on spirit, you know? I was like, excuse me, Merna. Is my seat broke? Or she's like, no, no, no, no. You're broke. You're flying on spirit. That's the way our seats function.

On this particular airlock. Just get all sit up right for six hours. She's like, that's the spirit. Enjoy your flight. Stay woke, by the way. Yeah, I was like, fuck you, Merna. All right, that's my time. My name's Jesse Egan.

I love you guys. I hope Cohen flips. Jesse Egan, everybody. Let him hear it. Give it up for all the comics you've seen on the standup portion, Zach. Jesse, now I have a question for everybody. Give it up for all the comics you've seen on the stand-up portion, Zach. Jesse. Now, I have a question for everybody.

Who is ready for Mueller? She wrote, lie! So to be clear, Mr. Trump has no financial relationships with any Russian oligarchs. That's what he said. That's what I said. That's obviously what our position is. I'm not aware of any of those activities. I have been called a surrogate at a time or two in that campaign, and I didn't have, not have communications with the Russians.

What do I have to get involved with Putin for having nothing to do with Putin? I've never spoken to him. I don't know anything about a mother than he will respect me. Russia, if you're listening, I hope you're able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing. So, it is political. You're a communist! No, Mr. Green. Communism is just a red herring. Like all members of the oldest professional capitalist. Ladies and gentlemen,

make it loud for the executive producer and host of Muller She Road, A.G. How are you guys? I just want to clarify the Hatch Act does not apply to faces. So you may gaze upon it without worry as long as I just A.G. And I don't tell you what I do for a living. We fine outside of this which is my new favorite thing. So okay you guys ready for the Civil War tomorrow? I got to notice a late right so I don't know if I'm dressed I got the boots I guess it'll work I don't know. I think it'll be like a really nice you know kind of we're all like adults I think it'll work. I don't know. I think it'll be like a real nice, you know, kind of. We're all like adults. I think it'll be a nice civil war.

I think it'll be civil. It'll be a civil, yeah, it's a civility war, exactly. We want civility. Punch that guy in the face. Fuck you. That doesn't make any fucking sense. Yeah, no, I'm super excited about that., here's what I need you guys to do, because we are at like $8,600 Twitter followers. OK? Now, if you know PlayStation 4, we're so close.

So if you pop your phone out, follow Mueller, she wrote, you will be automatically entered to win a PlayStation 4. Now, let me tell you how that got started. I Not a year ago. I was posting something. I don't know minor like I don't know. Man of Fort was indicted And I put it up on my Facebook page and I went holy fuck everybody look at this man of Fort some died Duh And I got like six likes

I'm gonna forge and die, and duh! And I got like six likes. So then the next day I was drinking and doing Amazon because I do that. And I ended up got a PlayStation 4. Help me. What games should I play? 176 likes. This is indicative of what's going on in this country.

How many people don't even know that the investigation is still going on, let alone that there's been over 80 felony charges filed. Five guilty pleas, 22 indictments. So I decided that every political post I would make from that on, which is going to have a hashtag PlayStation 4 in it. So that I could fucking, you know, win the algorithm game, whatever it is. Because I don't know how that shit works. I don't understand. Too old for fireball, that's how.

No, I'm not. You're right, yeah. No, not. It's the new Yeager. It is. Yeah, so now I'm giving away a PlayStation 4. I'm gonna buy, it might be my PlayStation 4, I don't know, yeah. I'll sign it, I don't know. I'm gonna give away a PlayStation 4 when I hit 10,000 followers on Twitter. One random lucky, Twitter followers is gonna get a PlayStation 4. So take your

phones out now, follow me on Twitter if you're not already We're gonna get there and tell your friends too because if we get to 10,000 It's one in 10,000. You're not lowering your chances But you can't get it until we're at 10,000. It's a maths thing people are weird You guys are good though You guys we didn't vote for Trump we can count You guys are good though. You guys, we didn't vote for Trump, we can count. All right, so we got a birthday.

Bart Marina, where are you? Bart, you did. Oh, oh, sorry, you didn't tell me. Oh my God. Hi, I thought he took your name when he married you. Bart, you should. See, I'm telling, yeah, it's been Bart Marina. Let's hear it for you, Bart.

Happy birthday. Congratulations. So I'm really happy with that. Now with me is always on my two co-hosts. Are you guys ready to bring them up? All right, let's welcome to the stage. Jalisa Johnson and Jordan Coburn. All right. All right, that's cool. Boobin' slavery. I didn't get the blazer memo.

Yeah, you know, sorry about that. You guys look great. You got the Civil War memo though, right? I did. We don't address better for it anyway. Thank you, thank you. The blazer is gonna get messed up. Hey, sorry about that. You guys look great. You got the Civil War memo though, right? I did. All right, well you're dressed better for it anyway. Thank you, thank you. The place we're going to get messed up. Hey, I'm here.

All right, yeah. She's here. You guys, I'm going to hand it over to you right now. She's going to tell us about Irraffle that's going on. Oh, yeah. All right. We got a raffle, guys. It's pretty straightforward.

And the back by the merch, our lovely friend Sarah is helping us out there. You'll see her with the fast-dack tickets. I'm guessing it costs money Until this works. All right cool Capitalism yeah, she's really friendly. Look for her by the merch table and prizes. We have plenty of prizes Yeah T shirts sexy justice calendars tote bags and the the tickets are five bucks and as we know proceeds are gonna go to swing left

Which Jordan's gonna tell us about here in his second rule. Yes, you guys are Swing Left. Yeah, so, uh, Swing Left is an organization. It's a bunch of individuals that got together. They're not owned by any corporation at all. Their sole goal is just to flip the house in 2018 so we can impeach Donald Trump. Round of applause for impeaching that fucking asshole. He...

Oh! Oh! Oh! Thank you. Thank you. Fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. Fuck that guy.

Fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. I know who we're gonna pick for. It's become an anti-Trump rally really quick. Holy, but Julie, is this one it sounds like when we are just recording and you're at home? Because we don't know. This is our first live experience. Yeah. This is one throw.

Yes, yes. This is heckling. I'm okay with this one. Yeah, but swing left just a little bit about it. So it's a super awesome platform where basically they're keeping track of all of the swing districts. And if you sign up, they'll send you information that's directly about your district specifically. So if you want to donate, if you want to get involved on the ground, if you're not in the district, they'll send you info on how you can get involved from afar. It's a really incredible cause.

Podsave America is all about it. So we thought we'd jump on the bandwagon and also donate to them because, yeah, it's nice. It's a good one, they can't get it. Nice. All right, you guys, we're also gonna do a drinking game tonight. Yeah. Oh, wow.

If you hear the word, and I'm gonna say it a few times here, Trump. Oh, wow. So we need to come up with, you know, 45, Orangan Führer, Asshole Cheeto, Whatever you want to call him. I'm sorry. Doe Tard, good one, good one.

Then, you know, that's fine. But if you say the T word, I need you guys to be paying attention. And if you hear it, I need you to yell drink. So I want to hear you yell drink on the count of three. Ready? One, two, three. DREAM! Yeah, I think we got it.

Whoo, big pipes down here. Nice. I think that's going to pick up really nice on the recording. It's going to be like, yeah. All right, now Jordan, we have something special today, right? Yes. Yes, we do. So first off, can we get a red of a plus for everyone that came out tonight?

Please, this is so awesome. Thank you so, so, so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We know folks came in here from out of town. There are people that are not from San Diego. That came here just for this. Special thank you to everyone that traveled and we want to do Yeah, yeah, yeah, if you're out of town make some noise

There's so many states I'm here anyone from Russia we got any right. Oh, yeah, just second. We do have nine listeners in Russia, we do. 20, we're up to 20! It's poo! And it's, uh, it's pronies, yeah, yeah, basically. All right, well something special happened. Yeah, so, uh, but we appreciate all of you. There's a group of people that are here in particular though

that we wanted to highlight because they, we get to correspond with all of our fans on a daily basis pretty much and it really touches our hearts and it's really amazing. And we had a correspondence with one of our fans the other day that really touched us and we wanted to share it with you all. And they gave us permission to speak about it and they spoke with us intimately

and they were okay with us talking about it. So if you think it's like oversharing, it's okay. You're okay. This is the email, yeah, TMI. This is the email. They said, Mola Shiro, not gonna lie. Sometimes, and feel free to clap, because this is gonna resonate with you, definitely.

I'm sure, two degree. Mola Shiro, not gonna lie. Sometimes, it just feels like I'm drowning. I'm drowning in this dumpster fire of an administration. And what they're doing to our families and every fucking thing else. I feel like I'm drowning in helplessness in regards to what I personally have the ability to do

to help in any way whatsoever. I'm constantly flabbergasted by the coldness, the lack of empathy that seems to have swallowed this beautiful country, particularly at the top. Literally, just yesterday, I was in hysterics wondering, racking my brain even, trying to come up with any one way that I could help. In my hysteria, I somehow convinced myself

that I could go to law school. Full disclosure, our family is broke as fuck, which is something we can all rest in, maybe not all, a decent amount. And then they continue to go on and talk about how they struggle with PTSD and chronic pain and their queer family living in a small town that I imagine is not very friendly to their lifestyle sometimes. And they saved up what they had left of their tax money to come here and be here today

and celebrate their first anniversary in San Diego. So... And they're sitting right here in the front row. It's Sage and Dietrich. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. And our fans give us so much. The only reason we're able to do this podcast is because of everything that you all give to us. And today we wanted to give back to you folks. So for your anniversary gift today, we're selling our Polonium T in the back.

It's a play on Putin poisoning everyone. Polarious. Polarious. Something you'll always treasure. Yeah, really that. But we have a bunch of the T we got, especially made for us by AG's friends at JoyceTeeSpoon.com. Yes, so 100% of the proceeds from any of the T that you folks buy tonight is going to go to their anniversary present.

Yes, so please Hit that shit up and thank you so much. Thank you so much. It is a delicious Earl Grey I love to make London Fox and put a little vodka in it. It'll be really Russia Yes, and the half-life of Polonium is only 167,000 years, so you're fine. You're fine. You'll be fine. All right, you guys, are you ready to get this shit started?

I mean, I guess we already did get this shit started. Oh, man, man. I'm sorry, go ahead, Jelisa. I just want to get a drink. I forgot. No, I have a tab. If I may get a Malibu Bay Breeze, send to the front, please. Thank you.

The Malibu Bay Breeze. Is that an LLC that you're not I'm starting it tonight Yes, yes, I'm gonna drunk order an LLC So if I may thank you. All right you guys tell you what we're gonna bring the rest of the panel back up here and get some games Go on Jesse even from episodes eight and twelve Zach Miller from episode six come up And join us please 12s, Ac Miller from episode six. Come up. And join us, please. They're their generous, right?

I think they're the most them and kiss. They're super nice about sharing their stuff. All right, so this is game one. This is panel trivia. Round one, I'm going to ask each of you a question. You get it right, you get a point. You don't get it right, you don't get a point, how does? Oh wait, don't we have to wear?

Not yet. Oh, sorry, sorry. No, you don't know about that shit. I fucked up. We were going to do a pointy dance camp, but it looked too much like a KKK hood. I know. So we decided against it. It's a surprise.

All right, Jesse Egan. There are a lot of rumors this week that Cone is going to flip. Can you give me any of the three big hints that indicate Cone could be cooperating? He said that he would like to look out for his family. Yes. Yay. And the country, believe it or not?

Good job. I think he said Kant and then his lawyer went, re-country. I think that's how that worked. I like to think my feckless country. Yeah, and so, yeah. So he said he came out for his family, right? That was very nice. And then he also changed legal teams, right?

And he hired the guy from the Southern District of New York, former prosecutor. That's a big hint. Third big hint is as soon as he takes over, they're cutting all communications ties with the Trump's legal team. Hi, Dre. Oh, yeah.

Dre. Oh. Hey. Hey. Hey. Oh, yeah, three. Oh! Yay! Oh, dang. Oh, dang. You're in trouble.

Hell, you're in trouble. All right, moving on to Zach. What major event in the United Kingdom was tied to Russia this week? Oh. Man, do my knee was tied to Russia this week. Uh. Oh, wait. Man, do my knee was really hurt me this week. I took a lot of medicine.

Oh. He took a lot of medicine. I'm kind of burnt out on cable news and reading. Oh, you'll be perfect for this quiz. I British this week. No, it didn't happen this week, but it came out this week that it's tied to Russia. Oh. Um. it didn't happen this week, but it came out this week that it's tied to Russia. Oh, um, I don't know. All right, and you're out of time. What is it guys?

Brexit! Brexit! I'm sorry sir. I'm sorry shoot, boy. Magna never looked this fucking good, dog. Behold the real dance cap. All right, you ready, Jalisa? Yeah, yeah. I like how it's like fashionable fascism. It's like actually really cute. It is really poorly made.

I don't have to tell you that. Which grody rich former finance chair of the Republican National Committee stopped payments to a Playboy Playmate this week for an alleged hush money payment and an abortion cover up? Oh, come on. That's give her the hat. No.

My boyfriend, LA Breit. It is. It's your boyfriend. That's give her the hat! No. My boyfriend, L.A. Brite. It is, that's your boyfriend. That's right, broit, he stopped making his fucking payments this week, you guys. He decided, let's see, he halted payments this week to former playmate, Shira Bashard. Shira. The Princess of Power?

Yeah, the Princess of Power. Ah! That's pretty dope. That's who it is. It's who it is. And thank God for that abortion. We wouldn't have had all those great cartoons in the 80s. Brody says he will not pay because Keith Davidson, Bershards lawyer, breached the nondesclosure agreement by talking to Avonati.

He's going to lose his ass, not Avonati Broady, he's fucking toast. And we all know that was 45s. Okay, conjecture, but... Beans. We want it Dallas wanted to be here, but a friend of ours is getting married, so he's putting beans on it from a fire for you guys All right, are you ready Jordan? Yes, yes Hello This week it was reported that Robert Mueller's team is now likely in possession of the tax documents of a 501c3 that allegedly accepted millions of dollars in donations To 45's campaign which nonprofit is it? An NRA.

Yes. Yay! Fuck you. Yes, this week it's been said the NRA's taxes and their dark donor list are likely Aurea and Muller's hands because you can get those without asking the NRA or notifying them. You can go straight to the IRS. We haul. Thought thoughts and prayers.

All right, now we're going to play the ring buzz in the ring, the bells. That was Jerry Lewis, the bells and the things. I don't know. All right, so I'm going to ask questions whoever rings in first. I don't know. All right, so I'm going to ask questions whoever rings in first. So we've got point point, maga. Ah! Ah!

Get him on here because his laugh is amazing. All right, you guys ready? And what month was Michael Flynn fired? November. Incorrect. January. No. December. No. December.ber. Incorrect. January.

No. December. No. February. Yes! Yes! So many! You got the hat!

You get the hat! You get the hat! You was going to keep guessing until you got to take the hat off. Who was the third of this the way? Maybe. You started it, Julie, so sorry. Yeah. She just still makes it look cool.

I know, I don't like it. Yeah, you know what? You can't even read it. Well, you can't even read it. You could just be a Red Sox fan. We don't even know. Yeah, I like it. I like it.

I still talk about it right there. Yes, she was fired in February right after Valentine's Day. Remember Sad Face? Oh, that's right, yeah. All right, speaking of Valentine's Day, why are young Trump staffers in DC? Yay! Yay!

Okay. Oh, okay. I know how. So, Sad these days, Jesse. I didn't, She buzzed in. Oh, yeah. Because they can't find a date. Mm-hmm.

Oh. Oh. World's smallest violin. Sounds familiar. You can take the hat off now. Just put it on the table. We'll get there. We'll find somebody else.

All right. Ready, guys? Yes. What is the name of the plan? Divised by Bud McFar... Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Is it the fart act? Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

It is not, but that is worth it. And I know that you knew that. I just wanted to say that. You look like Josh Lawson. Marshall. Sorry? Marshall. It is the Marshall plant. Thank you, Jordan.

Yay. The question, planned by Mud McFarland. Katie McFarland, Flynn, Cops, and Incessions, and others to build nuclear reactors in Saudi Arabia to recolonize the Middle East. Yep, weird. Alright, who did Manifort promise free campaign briefings to in exchange for millions of dollars in debt? A Russian oligarch.

I don't know which one, but definitely a Russian oligarch. That is correct. I remember. No, fuck that. That was right. It was not specific, but it was correct. Anybody for an additional point, want to guess which restaurant, Oleg Ark? Deraposcis.

In, yes, somewhere from Lohia. Oleg Deraposcis, you got it, George. Thank you. Yay. All right, guys, what change did Manifort make to the Republican Party platform during the National Convention? He eased the stance on Ukraine.

There you go, Jelisa. Now. APPLAUSE Kind of not fair, is it, really? It's almost like there are experts on this subject Hey, that's how I got in life. I become an expert and then I go to trivia It's big money and trivia I'm gonna go do trivia. I'm gonna go do trivia.

It's a big money in trivia. All right, I would like to give away a raffle prize right now. If we could have the raffle tickets come up here. Oh, and I just got some amazing news you guys. Coming up in the next couple weeks, we got the liberal red neck tray, crowner who's gonna be coming on our pod. We got Scott Dorkin, who's gonna come on the pond.

And we got Greg Proop, one of my heroes who's gonna come on the pond. And she's like, you got him! We've been trying to snare him for years. We started the whole pod just to meet him. I'm gonna take, we'll do two. We've been a snaring for years. We started the whole pod just to meet him. I'm going to take, we'll do two. All right, well, the chances are good if anybody wants to, you know, hold your five-per-up and then.

There's like four tickets. All right, for a sexy justice calendar. Ow! 6234062. All right! Don't get you calendar. Right here. Wait, can you showcase the calendar? I've never seen this kind of thing.

If anyone doesn't know, I don't know. Maybe people don't know about it. It's pretty sexy. Yeah. I don't know if you're going to be able to see my picture book but for Jill and I we have Diane Feinstein. For August we have a swallwell. Looking very sexy with the beach ball for July. Oh, here we go, September, the mole. There he is.

I like the mole. He's cute. Oh, this is a good one. October, Saloyate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why I was from Minnesota just then. Yeah.

Then, uh, We identify as girls girls is fine. We'll find the girls. Uh, then, uh, December, Mr. Muller. So sexy. Robert Swan III. Three sticks. Then January, we got Adam Schiff. Right?

I call him Schiffle Dust. I don't know why then of course we have McCabe I don't care what you say he's a hero you're like yeah maybe and then of course then we have yeah Chris the Versteel yeah almost done here Alexander No. Christopher Steele, yeah. Woo! Almost done here. Alexander Downer, the Australian that turned in Papadopolis, I felt like he deserved a spot. Of course, Michael Schmidt from The New York Times.

He's the guy who broke this first story. Yeah. And then, of course, James Bryan, Comey, Jr. Ow! My homey. I know he destroyed our lives kind of, but I mean, hmm, OK. Your calendar? You want to come get it, 06, too to did I have that oh six nine hold my bed

Hey, thank you I want to give away a shirt to Oh six to That's weird Who's oh six to or did I say oh six two and that was you oh six nine oh six nine oh 6.9. Do I have it right? 6234069? No one?

It's got to be somebody. They're in the restroom. Oh, they're going potty. We'll call out to 69 again when they hit that. All right, you guys ready to do some audience participation? Yay! Hey, but how was your week, you guys? Chill, yeah.

Well, these like... The answer to the voice and the whole crowd right there. Well, these like... We had to put some beans on it at the house show last night. He did great. Oh, Dallas. Yeah, Dallas, McClown. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. McClown was at the house show. That's cool. Lisa runs a really cool comedy show in her literal living room. Yeah, if you guys are in San Diego. Yeah. If you heard this week's episode of All, that's what we used to call a party.

Ha-ha-ha. Except everyone has to listen to you tell your stories. Exactly. Yeah. I'm not in the corner with my guitar going, come on, listen to this song, you guys. It's genius. All right, we're going to play three lies in a 45.

We're going to read you four quotes, and you have to guess which one is a real quote from 45 so I'm gonna need A couple of volunteers from the audience. All right come on up Uh, yeah, we probably want to oh all right How's it going sir? All right, and I need one more. All right, come on up. Woo! Yeah, it's right.

I know. What's your name, darling? Robin. Robin, everybody welcome, Robin. And this is Mike. Mike. Mike. The Mike.

So now here's how this works. Each person is going to read one of their quote, don't read the last line because that gives away who said it. I don't know why I didn't. 20th throw. So we'll start. Now one of them is something he really said and you're going to have to pick which one it is. So Jordan go ahead. They're all in cohere. He has like

weird moments of coherence. It's very strange. Yeah, it's confusing. Okay, ready? Turkey is a sovereign state, just like the United States. We might go in different directions in terms of our impressions and ideas but we'll always remain friends. All right. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Trump. Oh, super. What a shame. People thought I sucked at corners. They were just enjoying drinking. I'm drinking alcohol.

I'm screwed. All right, Julie, say hit us with your quote. Oh yeah. Sorry, I'm a buts in your face. If I were to run, I'd run as a Republican. They're the dumbest group of voters in the country. They believe anything on Fox News, I could like, I could like, I could like and

they'd still eat it up. I bet my numbers would be terrific. All right. That's a quote of a tip. Zach, you want to hit it? All right. Look, having nuclear, my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer Dr. John Trump at MIT. Great, great. Good genes. Very good genes, okay? I'm going to have to drink.

Very smart. The Wharton School of Finance. Very good, very smart. You know? If you are conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if like, okay, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say, I'm one of the smartest people anywhere in the world. All right. Well interpreted. Is that a secret? A GSC? Okay. The Senate is not in favor of impeachment by the law, and Congress in the next few days will have said that the investigation is not going to warrant the evidence.

What about Hillary and the nasty jams? We should get together and do a thing for the law. There is no evidence and I can get them for the rest of the year with you. All right, holy majole. Thank you. All right, Mike, which one do you think is the real quote? Okay Says Jalises, all right incorrect. It's a wait wait. Oh, I'm sorry. We got another player Oh, I'm so tired. Oh, I'm so tired.

Yeah, all right. I'll wear the hat, whatever. Oh, you're fired. Okay, yeah, that one is a... You've watched your video. Robin, you have an easier time. It's George. It's George.

Do you think it's George? All right, you guys are both incorrect. I know. Holy mo-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c So, yeah. Oh! Oh! Hmm. Mine came from the mouth of Crazy D. himself. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Mine came from the mouth of Crazy D. himself. That's insane. That's a good match. Trump. Thank you. Oh! That was great! Guys, you all have to drink, by the way.

Just letting you know, I, just, you know, paused. May I get one more Malibu, baby? And a jack-and-cow like this, I'm sorry. We get another offshore shell company of here immediately. Malibu, baby, is LLC. Jesse, where did yours come from? Mine came from predictive text.

I creed. I creed. I took a note from John Oliver, and I created that quote come from mine came from predictive text I Took a note from John Oliver and I created that quote with predictive text on my phone And you were like it's a little too coherent It was Which is frightening hang on don't go anywhere I gotta even though you guys didn't get it right I'm not a jerk Toot It's muller shitoes For the store

I do agree though we should get together and do a thing for the law. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That ain't good. It came out good, right? It came out good.

Thanks. I thought so, too. I really liked that one. All right. How are we looking at it? We're good on time. You guys, we'll be all night. It's going to be great. All right. We're going to time, you guys. We'll be all night. It's gonna be great. All right.

We're gonna play a game now called Which Dictator Set It? Yeah. This is my specialty. Just gets high in studies, a dictator quotes all day. So I'm gonna hand these to you guys. I'm gonna have you read them two at a time, right?

So basically what I'm going to do is I'm going to read two quotes. And in this first two quotes, one of them is Du Terté and one of them is 45. And you got to guess which one it is. So go ahead and read the, but don't say which is which. Okay. The first two, right? The first two in any order. All right. Any order? Wow. First somebody. All right. You get two permutations. Okay. The first quote. in the end, you're measured not by how much you undertake,

but what you finally accomplish. All right, and what's the other quote? Other quote. I was separated from my wife. I'm not impotent. What am I supposed to do? Let this hang forever? When I take Viagra it stands up. That's it. Amazing. So which one is Duterte? One, two, two. Who says that's the second one?

I do. Meganois. Woo! Who thinks that's the first one? It's about even Steven. Duterte is the one who talked about his Viagra. It was actually 45 that said in the end, you're measured not by how much you undertake,

but what you finally accomplish. It's like the most prophetic, sounding thing. Was it 1978? Yeah, it was great. I know. It was crazy. That's me. Let's parse it out, shall we?

It sounds good, right? In the end, you're not measured by how much you undertake, but by what you finally accomplish. He's basically saying, fuck the journey. It's the end that matters. Oh, yeah. Like the opposite of the Miley Cyrus song. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. I was going to say, lout say, dung, but sure, Miley Cyrus is the same thing. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft same thing. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. So now we're going to choose between Kim Jong-un and 45. Okay. All right. So it's these two here and here. And you can read them in any order that you want, but don't say the name. Okay.

Why can't we use nuclear weapons? That's fine. Why can't we use nuclear weapons? Let's speak to you. They should accurately be aware that this is not a threat but a reality. Second book. Alright, so which one's un? We should use nuclear weapons, you think it's that one?

No. No, you think it's the first one. Second one, you guys, you got it right. Woo! It was 45, he said, why can't we use nuclear weapons? I can't do Alec Baldwin. All right, so you got the, now it's going to be between Erdogan and Trump. Freedom in either order. Alright, quote one. Alright, quote one. The media is not my enemy. It is the enemy of the people. Quote 2, Know your place. They gave you a pen and you were writing a column in a newspaper.

Related? I grouped them. So which one is 45? A or B? A, you guys got it. It's A, good job. They know their shit. They know it, man. No, you're place. Okay. Alright, who are the last two? We've got, aha! Oh, Putin or Trump. And Jesse will be doing both lines in a Russian accent. I always do lines in a Russian accent. Oh, here we go, much fun! Dazvidanya Koken.

I'm gonna play, I'm gonna play. I don't know, my Russian is rusty. Our society, including the liberals must understand that there must be order. Period. Oh! Oh! There's a period at the end of it. So you know I've done with that. Here's the other, this is the other quote. There can be no prosperity without law and order a similar yeah i think i grouped them together and the purpose uh...

i'm not sure not transselvin i want to suck your blood even the liberals our society includes our society including the liberals must understand that there must be order who said that drink and you're wrong it's Putin 45 said there can be no prosperity without a law in order that's how he said it oh there you go you got it it. You got a nice one too. You got you got a little bit you drink at an LLC as well That was fun that we're the rest of my oh

I had a whole plan and I've started going to shit that's fine though Because this is fun Much fun All right, finally. Sit this up. All right. Why don't you guys come up and ask these questions. Not, okay. Yeah.

Yeah. You okay? Chulisa and Jordan. Don't yell out the answers. Raise your hand, and the first hand you see pop up, so you got to do it like, welcome back, coder style. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! hand you see pop up so you got to do it like welcome back cauter style. Oh, oh, oh.

She doesn't know what the fuck we're talking about right now. I'm having a mild hot flash and she's like what is welcome back hunter. Up your nose with a rubber hose. You're exactly right. All right, so why don't you guys go back and forth, ask these questions. Don't yell out the answers. Pop your hand up, and I got a prize.

It's got prizes. All right, first question. Who is Jordan's boyfriend on the show? And what is his nickname? Okay, okay. I wasn't looking at it. I think she was for the first and there's a second part to the question. Yeah, yeah. So who is Jordan's boyfriend and what is his nickname? Jordan's boyfriend is Devon Nunez and his nickname.

Okay, all right. That's one point. Yeah. Anyone know his nickname? Yes. No, Tilda Luna. She's got it. She's got it.

I want to say there's a second nickname, but I can't remember. Come up, get a press. It's definitely one of them. I just like to explain how. How you got the time you get Mueller she wrote ice cube trays I don't know how for your rosé yes yeah right thank you thank you yeah you say it guys attractive kind of one time.

And you just never let it go. My real boyfriend is here in real life. So yeah, it's not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm lost. Thank you.

He also has no tilde in his name. Coincidence? Very white person. Very white person. Don't talk. OK. All right. Is that the law in order, Sam? Yeah, we might or might not have stolen that too.

We'll probably get sued as well. I don't know. Okay. All right, the next question. Who is a G's boyfriend? This is a little bit tougher. I saw her as going. Oh, wait, oh hold on. I saw her as going. Oh, wait.

Oh, hold on. Oh, I don't know. I haven't been. OK. Oh, also, oh, man, I'm not looking over here. Yeah, Kevin. Yes, Mikaim. Andrew Mikaim. There you go.

Mikaim, yeah. All right. There you go. That's Mr. Lowell. All right, and this should be me. Call me Andy. Even for non-pockets, listeners, name three non-commediate guests from the show.

Actually, no, I wouldn't be good for non-lessers. Sorry. The opposite of what I said. There you go. Yeah, I skewed trays. Or soap. You can make soap out. I don't know what you're into.

Pop circles. So you can make edibles. Yeah, I ask you, Trace. Or soap. You can make soap out. I don't know what you're into. Pop circles. So you can make edibles. Yeah. Ooh. Very nice. Yellow shots. This yellow shots. Very good to go.

Oh, yeah. I think it's very well. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. I have to think of the answer myself. So it's not going to be anyone you see tonight because these are guys are comedians. But yeah, name three non-comedyant guests from the show.

Any three we've had? Anyone? Hopefully we're in. Let's see. Scott's dead man. Yes. Yeah, name three non-commediate guests from the show any three we've had anyone Yes every That lead give me the head Yes, Robby O's shadowing from the serial You guys did it together. We can do both. Good job guys. You did it together I'd give you a thing, but I think you have all the things. That was the last ice cube tray.

We're going to make you one. It's happening. Guys, let's say, Anne, she's one of Marb. Yeah, Anne. Coolest supporters. Yes. Would you like a paper bag for your head? No. YouTube can be anonymous. Yes. Would you like a paper bag for your head? Yeah.

YouTube can be anonymous. Yeah. Look at the hat. Did anyone get the reference, by the way, we're old, right? OK, just check it. It's a comedian. I'll tell you later. Okay. I'm fine Thank you. Yeah, I need ear muffs. Okay

All right, oh I was like I can I can hold the weight All right, okay, our next question. What do we call it when someone does something in exchange for a political favor? I'm a little bit responsible. She got a squid bro. Squid bro.

Squid bro, quo. Yes, hell yeah, that's a good question. Yeah, congrats. Give it up for her guys. Yeah. Yeah,. It'll become a shirt. All right. This is from the very beginning of pretty much every episode. Fill in the blank here, guys. Warning, this podcast contains blank. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought it was, I heard a female's voice.

It's so dark. I'm so high, guys. What am I going to do? Why did you smoke? God damn it. All right. One Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. one. Yes. All right. Nicely done. All right, we'll donate it. Thank you. That was good though.

You're the band is one. Heck yeah. All right. Now, we've got a few more minutes here, and I've been dying to do something. We tried to get a couple of local choruses. They didn't want to be involved politically. We called them up and we said, yeah.

Can you help us out? We want to record something. Sure, what is it? We want the word fucked in three-part harmony. No, no, no, no. Yeah. You're a scuffer. And they go, no, no, no, no.

And I'm like, money goes to that. No, no. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to divide the room up. Yeah. Yeah. So you guys over here are the altos. Sorry, it's a female choir. I'm sorry.

Get your pronouns together. You guys in the middle, soprano, twos, you guys in the sopranos. And I want to record a three-part harmony, fucked, fucked, fucked. Can we do that? So let's practice our fucked. Is that too low? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Keep it going.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Woo! That was amazing! You guys seriously are my heroes. We couldn't do this without you. Please remember if you go out to Biobagotty,

Buy a T-bag, do a T-bag, Anniversary present for the first anniversary of Sage and Daddric. Buy a tea bag. Do a tea bag. And aversory present. For the first anniversary of Sage and Daddric. Hell yeah. Yeah, tea bags, Sage and Tation. All of the proceeds from the tea bags go to them. The rest of some of the proceeds are going to go to swing left.

Yes. Swing left. Just kidding. Yeah, you look confused on the, you're like swing left. No, it's not dress left. It's swing And Honestly, we do this just for the sheer joy of doing it for the sheer joy of bringing awareness for educating everyone if we're having fun and to try to keep Our heads above water a little bit as we make it through these weird ass fucking times.

So I love you guys. Thank you so much for coming out. The post cocktail meet and greet will be in the back. Please stop buying wraps and merch. All the money goes to Swinglift. I am A.G. with me as always is. Oh, God. Oh, wait. I'm sorry. I'm just stopping.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a Jordan Colbert. You're a Jordan Cobra. Thank you, Russell Rock. Thank you, Zach Miller. Thank you, God. Oh, shit. I'm sorry. I'm just stopping. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've enjoyed him, Colbert. You're enjoying him, Colbert. Thank you, Russell Brock. Thank you, Zach Miller. Thank you, Jesse. You're going to thank you to the comedy store. I love you guys. We'll see you next week. Oh. Is there an alpha?

What's going on? From behind, A.G. looks like Stephanie Clifford. I know. Oh, no. All right. It's just been brought to my attention And A.G. looks like Stephanie Clifford. Oh. All right. It's just been brought to my attention that I completely forgot the make you ask questions. Can we cuddle?

We make me a sandwich. I've got some pre-written ones, but I wanted to give you guys an opportunity to ask the panel some questions before we let you out of here. We do have ten minutes left. What do you guys say? Would you want to answer some questions before we let you out of here. We do have 10 minutes left. What do you guys say? Would you want to answer some questions? Hi. We'll start over here.

OK. So I don't care about the guys. Come on up. Come on. Come on the mic. I can't remember what the guy's name is, but the guy who just stepped down today from DOJ. How is that going to impact?

Because he was above Mueller. What was that going to impact? Because he was like above Mueller. What do you think about that? All right. What do you guys say? It's gonna be great. I've been high since 6.45 this morning. Yeah. Well, I didn't catch that one. I'm just wondering why I haven't seen any sort of like credible explanation come out for why because it's very sketchy right? It's like this is a super important time to protect Rosenstein and the DOJ is it like that the forefront of everything right now So I'm with you. I read that headline and I don't I don't know I don't know what the connection is at all. Yeah kind of like it's reminiscent of

Kennedy stepping down right now. It's like what is going on. It seems like. Can you clarify who we're talking? Who stepped down? It's like the K's boss, is that what we're saying? He's like a head council member. Can you give him a title? Let's get a little book English speaking here.

I'm gonna fact check myself in real time. Rosenstein didn't say who's fucking Mueller's boss besides Rosenstein. It's not Mueller's boss. No one's Mueller's boss But he's high up in the DOG. Yeah, the general council I think one of the one of the well the secretary of state is above Mueller, but he's a fucktard A lot of people are above them Legal councils from inside the DOG DOG

Yeah, like a really top justice department lawyer resigns latest to step down. Oh, thank you. Yes, God's cools. Yeah. Almost like Slip-in Chuck, but not quite. Slip-in Chuck. Slip-in Chuck.

That was a great name for you. And that's an excellent question, because I don't think that any of the reporting right now. So he works with the paydag. He's the A-dag. I'll see what happens there. Right now, it's just a big question mark. And honestly, we would just be guessing at this point. He's the one that recommended that a

McCabe fired for lack of candor Yeah, and and honestly what I would I think this could be is that this might have something to do with the FBI leagues from the New York field office investigation It because Well because if you think about it, why McCabe was fired, right? And his lack of candor and the whole thing and all that shit leading up with the emails too,

that, you know, in the Hillary Clinton email investigation, which is so fresh and new. But I think it's, because last week's truck was removed from the building FBI, and this is DOJ, but I think that this might have something to do with that. And that is full conjecture. You can put some beans on it if you want to, fully guessing. But I think it has to do with the investigation open and ongoing investigation into the New

York Field Office leaks from Trump, Landia. I'll drink. Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Just drinking ice. Alright, next question, yes sir. My bumble brother. Yes sir. I'm just curious for the three ladies, what has been your

favorite, if not, some of your most favorite points of your show so far? Thank you, Eric. Hello. That's his opening line of Bumble, too. Can you believe it? Also, just... Yeah. Yes.

Also, he is an amazing community organizer that works super hard and advocates for progressive causes like all around San Diego and yeah. You're incredible. Good for you. My personal favorite part of the show. I'll go last you guys go first. Okay. I'm going to show it in general or like moments on the show.

Moments. Okay. I have one. I think the moment I realized that we had like fans. I was like, is anybody listening? Yeah. And I think, yeah, a couple of weeks in, thank you so much. I love you too.

I really was like blown away. Like I've been all been doing comedy for a while. This is the first time I think we've had people that are so engaged and just so like real and human and talk to us. That's amazing. So just that moment about I think a month then when I was like, Oh, people are they're tuning in, we don't have to quit. We can keep going. So yeah, that was it. For sure. Thank you. Thank you guys. Jordan. Yes, I think my favorite moment so far and similarly to what you said along the lines of just validation and what happens when people come together and really support something and advocate for something is we hit top 50 and

And that's that was so exciting because it's like we we fucking be Alex Jones And Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh. Yeah. Yeah. So thank you everybody for listening and for, yeah, just like we seriously could absolutely not be here unless you all were supporting us and and dead it to you all. So thank you. I miss missed. Yes. Jordan.

You blew your load soon, and then like I did with the whole show. I think the most important thing to me, the most meaningful thing to me, is that people have been holding me up for a while after I got out of the military, after I experienced a MST, military sexual trauma, after I experienced PTSD. And I got all sorts of support. I got help going to college. I got, I can help you do the bill if you need help. I got help going

to college. I got free health care. I'm standing on the shoulders of my mother and my mother's mother. I'm standing on the shoulders of journalists like Rachel Maddow and comedians like Ellen DeGeneres and Joan Rivers and they've made this path easy for me and I've been held up and to hear from you guys that you come and turn to me to hold you up is the biggest pay it forward I can ever possibly imagine. So thank you for allowing me that. Thank you for allowing me that. I don't know if we can... I love you guys so hard. All right, we got time for one more question. Better be good. Hit me. The Senate report that came out, I guess the updated report that came out are the i guess the updated report that came out today how do you got i'm sure you didn't do it uh... episode on it but how do you feel about what it says and you think new nasa shitting his fans

right now how do i feel about what it says i feel fucking off you guys read that shit the senate intel Committee came out today and said every fucking thing in that IC report was true. The Russians interfered. They did it to help Donald Trump.

They did it to fuck off Hillary Clinton. And everything is correct. Oh, and by the way, we never said that it didn't have anything to do with whether or not you won. You fucking piece of shit. So I love that report. Yeah. Yeah.

You guys, any feelings? Yeah, yeah. Do you want to dance? It's bittersweet because it's like the end of democracy, but also, yeah, there are no- Hey, hey, come on. Hey, hey, hey. Good day.

I can't say that with that hat on. Who are you? I'm sorry, I told you that. You can leave your hat on. Yeah. Sorry, continue. Oh, Dunez has been shitting his pants for a while. No-till to Dunez is in a lot of trouble along with Rorobocker.

Jim Jordan is going fucking down. Yeah. I don't care if it wasn't for the right reason. But apparently, did you guys hear about this? There was a child molestation going on when he was just in coach of wrestling at Ohio and he didn't tell anyone. He is supposed to be a reporter. What do they call that? A mandated reporter. He's supposed to fucking say something and he didn't and everyone's been trying to contact him and he's not talking. Well weird Jim Jordan's not talking. Yeah Can't fucking shut that guy off. Yeah, so he is going down and I'm super excited about that

Jordan I think I think my favorite part about it is that it has bipartisan support Whereas the House Intelligence Committee has just been so entirely biased and partisan and really fucking horrible. And so Richard Burr, who's from fucking North Carolina has come out, just fully in support of the intelligence community. And how long have we been saying that the House is bullshit in the Senate? Yeah, like a bullshit, but legit, right? And especially after watching what Christopher Ray and Rose and Stein had to go through the other day. You can't subpoena phone calls.

I am the boss. Yeah, yeah, that was sexy. Oh god, yeah, so sexy. Jalizo is having dreams. Yeah. About your boyfriend. I don't know how it's going to work out for you. Rosa's side isn't not my boyfriend.

Oh, you're not owning an old. You're right, McCabe. The old one. Okay, why can't I? I'm so sorry. They're all sexy. They do all look the same, don't they? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. This is a came sandwich. Oh my god. Oh. Oh. But it's like two, five foot sevens and a six, eight. That's a weird. You'd have to be in the middle and then it's not Then there's no buff. I'm there's no AG buffer. I don't know. You know what? I don't know I'm thinking too much about it. I'm gonna go home and think about it some more

But let's try to end this again. I don't know. I've been a AG. I've been Joseph Johnson. Wait, wait. I've been doing. Is it the fart act? It's shit. Ah!

Shit. Jesse has a question. It is the fart act. It is the fair and reciprocal trade act. Nope. You know what? I know. I know this happened.

I know John Kelly and Mattis were in there because they do all the, we name things in the military and the Department of Defense based on what the acronym is going to be. And they knew it and they just didn't fucking say anything. Like, really, you're going to end run around me? You're going to do that to me? You fucking bitch. It's the fart act and I'm letting you have it. Again, you guys are awesome, I'm A.G.

With me is Julie Sajas in the Jordan Co. And we are Mollarshi R.A. Thank you! Mollarshi wrote is produced and engineered by A.G. with editing and logo design by Jalisa Johnson, market consulting by Amanda Rita at Unicorn Creative. Our digital media director and subscriber managers are Jordan Coburn and Sarah Hirschberger Valencia. Our partners are fastgrass.org and Joyce Teespoon.com.

Fact checking and research by AG with support from Jalisa Johnson and Jordan Coburn. Muller She wrote staff includes AG from Jolissa Johnson and Jordan Coburn. Muller She Wrote Staff includes A.G., Jolissa Johnson, Jordan Coburn, Sarah Hershberger Valencia, Jesse Egan, and Sarah Listeiner. Our web design and branding are by Joel Reader with Moxie Design Studios, and our website is MullerShe Wrote.com. Hi, I'm Dan Dunn, host of What We're Drinking With Dan Dunn, the most wildly entertaining adult beverage-themed podcast in the history of the medium. That's right, the boozy best of the best, baby! And we have the cool celebrity promos to prove it. Check this out.

Hi, I'm Allison Janney and you're here with me on What We're Drinking with Dan Dunn. And that's my sexy voice. Boom. Boom is right Academy Award winner, Allison Janney. As you can see, celebrities just love this show. How cool is that? Hey, this is Scottie Pippin, and you're listening to the Dan Dunn Show. And wait, hold on. The name of the show is what? Alright, sure. Scottie Pippin momentarily forgot the show's name, but there's a first time for everything.

Hey everyone, this is Scoot McNary. I'm here with Dan Dunn on What Are You Drinking? What's it called again? Fine, twice. But famous people really do love this show. Hi, this is Will Forte and you're, for some reason, listening to What We're Drinking with Dan Dunn. Now, what do you mean for some reason, Will Forte?

What's going on? Hi, this is Kurt Russell. Listen, I escaped from New York, but I couldn't get the hell out of Dan Dunn's happy hour. Please send help. Send help? Oh, come on, Kurt Russell, listen, I escaped from New York, but I couldn't get the hell out of Dan Dunn's happy hour. Please send help. Send help. Oh, come on Kurt Russell. Can somebody out there please help me.

I'm Deed of Antease and you're listening to What We're Drinking with Dan Dunn. Let me try one more time. Come on. Is it right? It's amazing. Is it amazing? Is it right? Ah, that's better.

So be like Deed of Antease friends and listen listen to what we're drinking with Dan Dunn, available wherever you get your podcasts. M-S-W-Media. you