James Bonding - A View To A Kill LIVE with How Did This Get Made

Episode Date: March 29, 2023

In a very special podcast cross-over event, Bond experts Matt Gourley and Matt Mira join Paul, June, and Jason of How Did This Get Made? to figure out if A View To a Kill is the worst Bond movie of all time. Recorded LIVE at Largo in Los Angeles, they cover how Bond invents snowboarding, the most French man in the world, Tanya Roberts’ stunt double being a grizzly old man, the multiple blimps, race horses, the robot dog, and of course, the butterflies. Plus, Gourley & June's wigdar shines during audience Q&A and we hear from the person who reviews A View To a Kill every year in another edition of 2nd Opinions! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, everybody. Today is a live episode of how did this get made, which means there might be some things in it that are visual. There might be some things that, uh, you know, sound quality issues, uh, whatever. And what I say to you is, deal with it. It's a free fucking podcast. Okay. And also want to let you guys know that my new adult swim infomercial is up online. Just type into YouTube. Frank Pierre presents. Frank Pierre's resort and casino hotel. Anything like that. Frank Pierre presents. I hope you enjoy it. It stars the amazing Ray Wise. Enjoy the live episode. Enjoy that. Let's do it. He's armed.

He's dangerous. He's geriatric. In a movie that makes as much sense as its title, we saw a view to a kill. So you know what that means. Hello, it's going to win the mediocrity of subpar art. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question, how did this get paid? Hello, our Los Angeles home, Largo at the Coronet Theater, one of my favorite best theaters in Los Angeles.

Thank you guys. Give it up. Very excited for tonight. We are getting into the canon of James Bond. So many movies. So, well, a lot of them are good, but a lot of them are bad. Let me introduce my co-host. Please welcome June Diane Raphiel.

Please welcome. How are you, June? I'm doing well, thanks. Please welcome Jason Manzukas. A very special. Do you want me to start it? Yeah, you want to. Hold on.

And a very special podcasting crossover event, very similar to the night when everyone had a blackout, like on Friends in Seinfeld and Caroline. in the city, we have our two, two guests today. From the James Bond. For those of you who cannot see this, which is a lot of you, they are in full tuxedos.

And honestly, for those of you who can't see it, so are Jason June enough. And Gurley has a James Bond of you to a kill mug. No, I'm like glass. That is like a glass that was given out at Arby's, I imagine, right? So Arby's was handing out licensed highball glasses If there's a God in heaven. Guys, I'm very excited to have you here

As you are fans of James Bond, ultimately. I would go so far as to say experts. Well, this is very good. Would you say, and your expert opinion, because this is a question that I had about picking this movie, is this the worst James Bond movie? By the worst do you mean the best? Well look, this is honestly the movie that I...

Like, this is my first James Bond movie. We were talking about this backstage. Like, I remember the first one I saw as a child. So, sorry, like, watch the anger. What? Were people just indignant? Had missed 15 previous movies? This just turned into judgment at Nuremberg.

Somebody was basically like, fuck you, Paul. There was a period of time when I remember telling my dad, like, oh, I don't want to watch a Sean Connery, James Bond. Roger Moore is the best. Like, I didn't understand. I didn't get it. This movie is ingrained to me. Every scene was great. And I know that a lot of people go, this may be the weakest.

And other people believe that, like, license to kill is the weakest. Where do you guys fall in? Thunderball? Oh. Yeah. Yeah. That's a two hours of being underwater. and fighting slowly.

That's a good call. Personally, I'm in the same boat as you. I was, this is in my DNA of this movie. I was raised on this movie. I saw it so many times in the theaters, and then it was on cable for what seemed like years on constant loop. And so much so, like the Duran Duran music,

that was associated with me liking girls in middle school, which then I associated with Tanya Roberts and Grace Jones, and so like, now I only like mulattoes that fight Jiu-Jitsu. and it's just... Wait, so in your mind, Tanya Roberts and... The same woman.

They turn it to your ideal female partner. Absolutely. Everything about me... They could not act at all. This movie is my origin story. You are going to be alone forever. Because the woman you are looking for is impossible to find.

Unless I actually land Tanya Roberts and Grace Jones, which isn't entirely impossible, I think. They're both on Tinder. Imagine them sadly swiping right. Just waiting. Waiting. Oh, look at this.

Who's this? Grace? No thanks. Now, June, I want to, June comes from a different perspective on James Bond. Where to, like, now how many James Bond movies have you seen? Oh. Including this one, I've seen three. Okay.

And I showed you the other two in the last six months. That's correct. That's correct. No, in the last two years. Two years. Okay. So you've seen Casino Royale and Skyfall. And the Daniel Craig Casino Royale.

Yes, not the Woody Allen one. Or the CBS Made for TV, black and white movie. Well, yeah. This is obviously the first time I've seen this movie, so I'm coming at it from a real different perspective. The proper perspective. probably. Well, I think I'm just watching it. Like, I have no kind of emotional

historical connection to it. I'm just watching it as a movie. And that was interesting. I didn't hold up against that criteria. Is this a movie? On paper. It's on film. Being younger, I don't think it occurs to you how old Roger

Moore is. Fifty-seven. He celebrated his 57th birthday during the filming of this movie. He doesn't look at day over 56, though. It's incredible. He's looking good. He seems older than 57. If that, if you, because here's the deal,

the reality is, if you had been like, isn't it crazy, he's 68 in this movie? I would have been like, yeah. And if you had then been like, isn't it weird, he's 73 in this movie? I'd be like, I believe that as well. That's how bad he. He looks for his 57 years.

If you think about Tom Cruise hanging off of a skyscraper and he's 50 years old. Yeah, Liam Neeson is like kicking ass all over the place. And he's, I don't know what, like a very old age at this point. He's like fighting wolves and he's in it well into his 60s, I believe. Well, and the fights are slow. Oh, yeah. Like they're so slow that like you're like. They're age appropriate.

Yeah. That taken should look like. this, by all intents and purposes. Taken to, there are some pretty slow fights. If that movie's taken, this movie's just given. Where do you follow, I'm sorry, just to get us all on

the same page, where do you follow into James Bond? Were you a James Bond fan? I was a medium James Bond fan, not super into James Bond, but I certainly watched, like my first James Bond, I'm older, I believe was Moon Raker. That was the first one that I remember being like, oh yeah,

I'm into this, this is cool. He's only 54. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Moon record, in case he don't know is James Bond in outer space.

Yep. I was like, I'm on board for this. And then I watched some of the Sean Connery ones because they were always on TV. I thought they were fine. I hated Timothy Dalton.

I agree. I was the kid who was the nerdy kid who was like, well, if they had let him out of his Remington Steel contract, Pierce Brosden would be the perfect James. I was also on board.

Me too. I'll go on, right. I'm not a person. his James Bond then eventually though is terrible yeah thank you yeah because by the time he got there he was almost 57 years off

too old by the time they let him out of that Remington Steel contract yep just think of what we could have had we could have had young Pierce Brosnan as Bond and we could have had young Tom Selick as Indiana Jones if television executives had been smart

well the thing the beautiful thing about Pierce Brosnan is that he was walking out the door to the press conference to announce that he was James Bond because NBC had until that day to renew Remington Steel and his phone rang

and NBC was like oh we're going to pick it up we got good news Pierce so he hangs up the phone and just puts his keys down that would be like if McGiver was heading to set

and they're like hey Indiana Jones is in the bag don't worry wait what how is that like that because Brosnan's Remington Steel was like like if McGiver was Indiana Jones.

This is the poor man's James Bond. You know what I mean? I don't see that. I've never seen Indiana Jones do anything with gum. Will you have a point there? All right, let's get into this movie. The first thing that strikes me is

I've seen every Bond film. This is the first one that, like, the title card comes up and goes, the name Zorin is not associated with anyone that's the number. not happened, which makes me go, did it? Do you know why? I can tell you

why. Oh, yeah. Zoran, I think it was spelled like Z-O-A-Z-O-A-N, was a cosmetics manufacturer in there like, well, we can't get sued by a cosmetics manufacturer, so we have to label this. I like knowing that Christopher Walken could have been misconstitutional cosmetics manufacturer. In this movie, he could

have been. Yeah, he could have been, by the way. His business portfolio is so varied As to include microchips, horses. Oil pipelines. Blimps. Obviously blimps. Obviously airships. And by the way, there are multiple blimps in this movie.

There's not one blimp. This movie is drowning in blimps. To the point where Paul and I watched the movie together, and I feel like about 45 minutes in, we had about a 15-minute discussion just about blimps. While the movie was playing, like, so how do blooms work exactly?

It's really a giant balloon. I was like, I would be scared to going up blimp. I'm glad to hear that you guys watch together, this is a movie for lovers. Like that Matthew McConae quote from Days and Confused, the girls keep on getting younger,

but he stays the same age, and I feel like, or something, I know it bastardized. By the way, fucking total McConae. Thank you. Nailed it. Fucking I need to buy a

Lincoln. People on the podcast were just like, holy shit, McConnell is there? All right, all right. All right.

All right. They make no attempt to make the girls age appropriate in this movie even by like going they're in their 30s. Like they are all

young and he looks like he can the father. Well, this is the one where... His story is why he hung it up after this one is because he was literally older than Tanya Roberts' mother at this point.

And they talked about it on set, and I think that's when he finally went, I'm done. But now they just announced one of the new bond girls is Monica Balucci, and she's 50 years old, and it's fantastic. She's, I think,

three years older than Daniel Craig, and the oldest Bond Girl by far, and so it just shows you how times have changed. It's great. Gross, won't see. All right, guys, did you know, Oh, so, Moses. According to this movie,

James Bond and Vince. Menna, pause. Right? What? So the opening... Hot, hot flash. That's her character name. Yeah, these are all character names.

Menna, pause, and hot flash. By the way, this movie has the laziest name of, like, all the Bond girls have, like, like these kind of like punny names. And this, the girl's name is Jenny Flex. What does that mean? It's like they were literally out of names, so they were like, fuck, uh, May Day?

She's flexible in bed. Pussy galore to Jenny Flex. That's coming off the heels of Octopus. Yeah. So, yeah, they really were hitting the bottom. So James Bond opened up. a snow scene and where he invents snowboarding. Yep, he sure does.

These people know. These people understand and they appreciate. I felt like this opening scene is like as if they were like, well, let's just let let Warren Miller direct this. Because it's all like half-ass shredding guitar to like terrible ski footage.

But it's also right, not shredding guitar, they put the fucking beach boy there. No, but it's not they could like a re-recorded. version of that. But it's not even David Lee Roth's cover. No. It's some other shittier version. They paid for the cheap rights to a Beach

Boy song. Here, I'm going to play you what it sounds like exactly. The reveal is when it changes, because first he's skiing, and that's when it's electric guitar. Well, then he blows up a snowmobile with a flare. And one of the one of the

tracks, or skis off the snowmobile lands next to him. And he invests the X games. Here we go. He looks at it like, huh. Dink. The future of youth. Here we go. Up, there you go, snowboarding.

Those KGB guys are like, what is he doing? The transition into the score is really awkward, too. Watch this. I really want it to be like a ski movie, like, look, who decided to drop me. Here's what's weird about it, too.

It's as though his snowboarding makes them forget how to ski. Across the water, he's fucking Jesus. And then, right back. And he runs. Right back. But it's important to note that this entire cold open is filmed in Iceland, set in Siberia, and Roger Moore never set foot in snow.

All of his scenes were filmed at Pinewood Studios in England. So everything Green Street. Anytime you see a man doing something, it's not him. Well, all the... When he even walks across the room, it's a stuntman. That's what his wife wrote in his divorce papers. This movie has aggressively recognizable stunt men in it.

Oh, yeah. It's like that's just another man. Visibly, much shorter and stalkier? This is, we'll put this up on the website, but that's Tanya Roberts' stunt double. A grizzled man. It looks like the killer Bob from Twin Peas.

He's wearing a blonde wig. I've never seen. I have never seen a more disturbing image. It is rare that we get a James Bond surprise, and that was really something. And you can see if you can, this is the clip that we have from the movie. You can actually see Tanya Roberts. Oh, hey, gorgeous. What's going on?

And here's a reveal. That's that mix of Grace Jones and Tanya Roberts that I was looking for. I found it. And the first scene is He You know, he You know Escapes

This is like when James Bond Is like past cheeky Like it's like an iceberg submarine He jumps into an iceberg submarine With a British flag Yeah That looks is in the shape of a straight up dick And it is not

Does not seem to me like a military vessel It just seems like a fuck ship No it is Absolutely a fuck ship There is no need for the plush like comforter on the bed that comes up. Yeah. On one side it's like full on submarine like I'm looking at dials, I'm looking at cameras. Boop Boop Boop Boop. Super hot girl in there, of course. And then he just like presses a button, the bed comes up.

But oddly all the remote for the submarine are also on his side. It's like a guy like, rocker out of their seat. I'm sad there wasn't a scene where Q explained to him like the fuckship. potential of it, where he was like, Now pay attention, 007. I'm giving you this sub-O-O-7, so you can be massed within the iceberg, but also it's a fuck-ship, here you go.

This button here raises the bed, and this is a vibrating fuck-ship button. This is, this digs doodles out of everything. Click this three times, it'll sterilize her. Yes. And then Bond is like, are there condoms in here somewhere? And he's like,

Ha-ha-ha-ha. Of course not. You never use condoms. You're James Bond. You're giving AIDS to everyone. Well, also, when he makes the move for the ship to sort of tussle a bit and she falls on top of him, it's a strange moment because I was more worried for him. I really like, oh, his bones, and like he's not... Oh, that's so true.

He's not well. It's so weird. Also, revealed... Did that just hit my heart in a major way right now? I was. I was like, oh, no. No, but there's an old man in there. Be careful.

Please be careful. Seriously. Young woman, don't crush the brittle man. Yeah, be careful. Really. I would have actually liked to see that sex scene play out because it would have been so awkward. A lot of just like, I'm so sorry.

This never happened. You can keep trying, but it's not going to work. He also, like, when he lands in the ship, like, you know, he's flirting with the girl, of course. and he knew all along James Bond was on this mission he had the tiniest of backpacks kind of like Indiana Jones's satchel like about that on his back

and he uses it to pack a giant thing of beluga caviar now as an adult I know that that was like thousands of dollars like the smallest ones are hundreds like this is like a cheese wheel of caviar and a bottle of vodka was in his backpack the entire time

it doesn't seem appealing to me like a giant like what I think he's going to do like shit. All the way Patrick. He's going to straight vodka and eat caviar and he's going to fuck that girl. Because it's a fuck shit.

That's what Bond does as a near 60 year old man. But I just picture them like scooping out caviar with their hands fucking. They're like did you pack utensils? No. Put it on my dick. It sterilizes it. You won't get

pregnant. I want to eat eggs tonight. Well, and I do think that's sort of the overall vibe that I walked away from the movie with, which wasn't like, oh, yeah, I'm rooting for this guy and, and I want to see him go on, like, all these crazy journeys. It was more like, oh, he has a problem. And, like, he really has to be careful because this could totally get out of hand. Like, it's a subtle thing, but it's like, yeah, like with the vodka and stuff, when he pulled the vodka out, I felt like, oh, Oh, that's a really big bottle of vodka.

For example, were you worried that he might not be able to sustain, like, the temperatures of the hot tub that he found himself in? Did that concern you at all? Like, ooh, no. In his age, his body temperature should not be up where it is at this point. Hey, everybody. Do you want to read, but you don't have the time? Yeah, me too.

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You guys are the best. So get Audible today. You'll love it. I'll love you for loving them. And we'll get smarter together. Well, this brings us to, now that's the opening sequence, of course. And then the main plot begins. And I was watching plot as that.

Well, at first, it's a Duran Duran song. Do you got anyone have any comments? It's the best. It's awesome. The best song. I mean, that and Live and Let Die are my two favorite bonds song. It's the only Bond song to ever because. a number one hit.

Oh, really? Yeah. Even after Skyfall? Yeah. Fucking experts. Yeah, you guys really brought the heat. Tuxedos. We get to the main plot, and June, you asked me this question numerous times, which was, what's happening, what's going on?

I don't understand what's happening. What's going on? We replayed multiple scenes. I mean, I still spend four hours. watch it again. It was at a million times. It's tough because this movie is fucking long. So to even imagine watching scenes

more than once, it breaks my heart. I did it a number of times. I said to June last night at the end of the movie I said, actually, I said for a long movie, it's paste really good. Oh, God. To what you I'm with you. I'm afraid to admit this. This is the James Bond movie I've seen the most times. I think me too. Because I have this thing where it's, I like my James Bond movies really good. or really bad. And this movie is as bad as the best

Bond movies are good. I agree with that way. The movie opens and there's a scene after the Duran Duran song plays. We go back to MI6 and I would like to have been in the room for God knows how long while the senile guy from Q Branch drove his little creature around. Like there's a fucking... In front of the fucking Prime Minister of England. There's a robot dog in this movie.

That has no reason to be in there except for the end of the movie joke. Well, it comes back, but it's also like, this is an advanced fine technique. No, it's a cumbersome weird-looking robot dog that anyone would be like, what the fuck is that robot dog doing here? He's not like, it was not subtle, it was not sneaky. It could not have looked like a more unnatural object. It was a cumbersome children's toy at best. It was something that as a kid, as a whatever, a 13-year-old,

I'm certain I was like, ooh, I want that. But not for spying. For friendship. Yeah, I want a little buddy. No reason for that. And it wasn't like, you know, like a bomb-stiffing robot, like they also are cumbersome, but they also have like arms that come out

and disconnect bombs. This seemingly had no arms. All this is acted like a dog. All this does is record pornography for Q. This is the little astromatic. Droid for your fuck ship. It's like the little droid in the Death Star that's a black box that just

rolls around. That robot, whatever, eight years earlier, is way more interesting than this robot is in this movie. That's all that robot did. Yeah, but it was black. So it's blended in.

Now, the scene in Paris, they're all the, oh, well, they go to the race track, I guess, first. I didn't even write down any notes about it. Oh, right. How could you not? Because the first hour of this movie is about racehorses. Oh, does that figure into the main plot of the movie? No. Not all, Paul. Not at all. I still fail to see a problem.

Yeah, uh, this, this is where we have our, I think, the closest we can get to a British off in this movie. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so this is something you guys do on your podcast. On our podcast, we like to determine the scene, which has the most British person in it. In a sea of British people. Yeah. So I'm going to have to give it to McClory. I mean, not McClory. Uh, what's his, name.

Tibbet? Oh, Patrick McGee. Patrick McGee. Right? Patrick McNee. From the Avengers. You're saying no, he's not

the most British person? Who do you think is more British than him? I somehow think the French guy in the Eiffel Tower is somehow more British. The French guy in the Eiffel Tower is such a caricature. I'm like, what is he?

I don't even know what he does. I don't know if he's getting what information that got out of Texas. We're skipping over the part where Bond presupposes he lays out plot for you and says, well, it could be the Zoran. And the Prime Minister of England goes, that's impossible.

He's a French industrialist. Yeah, and they've never been associated with communism, the French, or anything. He's staunchly anti-communist, he says. Yes. But yeah, nobody's like, it's Christopher Walken.

He's definitely going to be the bad guy. And M says to Bond that he has no accent. what the fuck are you talking about well he doesn't have a French accent he's supposed to be German I thought isn't he supposed to be German

but wouldn't he say he's got a weird American accent James figure that out he's got a weird way of talking almost as if he's taking the punctuation punctuation I'm okay

I'm okay you've been walking you know what I'm talking about I do want to get to the French scene because obviously the most French man in the world who looks like he was drawn out of like the triplets of Belleville and like shoveling

I feel like he should have been like his sweat should have been Escargo he ends every sentence with and he's like since you're paying the bill and they're meeting they're meeting in the Eiffel Tower in a restaurant that does not exist.

We need to figure out how to make this guy more French. What do we do? What do we put him? It's like the fanciest restaurant in the world in the middle of the Eiffel Tower. Fuck. Yes.

But this guy, we should get him have a real French stinky mustache, right? Oh, and then he's killed by butterflies. Oh, I can't wait to talk about the butterflies. This sequence. June, take it away, because this is one of my favorite. Take it away, because it's my favorite sequence.

No. Well, I have so much to say about the butterflies. Oh, yeah. Well, I first wanted, I don't know, and so this is a genuine query. Is that like a cultural or some sort of, is the butterfly dance a thing? I'm going to answer this. Yeah. Okay.

That woman had an act where she would do this like, pepillon, flight of the pepillon, no. And that she was somehow known for that. And like, the way Bond movies work is the. the producers will just be out in weird places and go, oh, that's strange. Let's put that in our next movie. Let's build our movie around that. Because here's what's interesting about the act.

The butterflies aren't real. No. So it would be interesting if her act was like, oh, she's actually summoning butterflies, like some sort of strange snake. How would you do that? I don't know. That's Tony.

No, no, no. Animal woman. That's right, June. I don't know. It would be interesting, though. That would be sort of this weird, like, vaudeville. watch that.

Trained butterflies? I'd wager to say everyone would watch that. The way it's portrayed in this film, the butterflies are just fake butterflies that she's pretending to call in

with no, I mean, there's no dance moves. I think she does turn on a fan with her foot. No, she just whistles. I guess what I'm saying is there's no act. There's just, here's a bunch of butterflies floating around the audience.

She's standing up there just opening her arms. It's the equivalent of that part of Blue Man Group where the toilet paper goes over the audience. You're like, blow it away. But they're just throwing shit at you. And that's the whole act. You summed up this entire movie. It was just very strange.

When May Day is trying to take the place of the other butterfly wrangler, the other butterfly wrangler is fighting it so hard. Like, no, I have to stand here. This is my butterfly. Pargo, do not fuck with that! So what we're describing is, when the woman is whistling and doing her butterfly conjuring,

there are people in, like, ninja suits. Which just consists of her opening her arms. Yes, and like... Yeah. As if she's conducting a symphony of butterflies. And it is then someone's job to stand in the wings with a fishing pole where a fake butterfly is attached

and swung past diners. How would you otherwise do it, you assholes? That's how you do it. Well, June has you like. You would get butterflies in a caterpillar stage. You would train them.

You would train them. Get them early. You would train them. They would go into a cocoon. They would emerge glorious. Already trusting you so they do not fly away. Rehears. And then the real work starts.

Let me just say something. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. let me just say something about that. Those butterflies have no choice in performing that act.

You know what? And that is ammo cruelty. And they do not belong as June, are you with me on this? As long as the butterflies are credited correctly. You don't, you just don't want a butterfly shine on your hands.

June, I would think that this butterfly puppetry would appeal to you on the level of the animal cruelty. By the way, you gotta tell, well, we'll get to the worst stuff.

This woman, you can rest assured is the temple grand end of butterfly puppy. She takes the best steps. Here's my issue also with Grace Jones in this movie. What?

She is the most recognizable person in the world. She is a giant woman with a bizarre hairstyle. And you send her out to be like your clutch guy. Your undercover assassin?

Yeah, there's a part where James Bond goes, like, I wanted to get my eyes on her so I could, like, I wanted to identify her. He's like, what did you see your face? You're like, yeah, I could pick her out of any lineup. Yeah, any lineup. She's the poor man's Wesley Snipes. Well, I think

Wesley Snipes is once again the poor man's Wesley Snipes. You have a fair point. He's rich. He didn't pay taxes. He's the Rich man's Wesley Snakes. Here's what's interesting, though, about how May Day, how she assassinates that guy.

So the... She really swings that thing. She comes in with a fishing pole. No, does she come in with a fishing pole? Yes. She brought her up. But I guess my question is, why not already set yourself there?

Okay. And then you wouldn't have the fight with the other... And then you don't have to... Like, what she... The karate fight that... Because what must happen is the guy has his fishing pole full of butterflies over the audience,

the minute she knocks him up, all those butterflies must just fall to the ground. But yet nobody seems to notice that. No, and the butterflies start going erratically around, and no one's like, what the fuck? Well, I think she's just trying to draw enough centrifugal force to lodge the hook into the guy's name. Everything about this plan is terrible.

Okay, can I just say one more thing about the butterfly show? The people are watching it as those. they're real butterflies. No. I don't. I'm real. I do every time. People are watching the show and enjoying it as though...

No, I don't. I'm just saying it's very confusing because the show is not a show. I mean, nothing's happening. And they're watching it with such awe and delight. As though she's really calling in butterflies. You could do a full... How did this get made about the butterfly show?

We are going to... We just did. We're not on the third scene yet. Of the main part. Of a movie that isn't seven hours long. We haven't met 11. We haven't even met the villain yet. We haven't even jumped off the Eiffel Tower.

The female lead of the movie doesn't arrive until one hour and 11 minutes. I just want to quickly just hit two things about this butterfly thing. This is a terrible plan. If they want to kill this guy, shoot him. Stab him. By the way, even shoot him from the same stance you're at. Where's the butterfly party? Where's the art?

Where's the beauty? Where's the butterfly dance of death? And by the way, like the butterfly, I'm guessing, because we're not told this by anyone. You have to infer. Was there poison on the hook? Yeah. Because the minute it hits him, it's like, go.

He dies. There's a fly in his soup. That's what he says. The guy dies instantly into his plate, like a fucking asshole. And Bond is like, there's a fly in his soup. And then like takes off running after Grace Jones. And the problem is it would seem artful if they were like in the wings somewhere. If the butterfly puppeteer was like in the dark behind the box.

So you also don't like how the butterfly, the fake butterflies are presented. The fake butterflies, the guy who is in all the fire. Is this a review of the butterfly show? The guy who's an all-black is a stage man puppeteering the butterfly regardless of its content in the movie? He is in full view of the audience.

This reviewer found this show to be preposterous. I think you guys are missing the Kubrickian levels of interpretation that you need to bring to this movie. We're going to room 237 this shit. This podcast will be longer than the movie. I believe you're right.

The butterflies are the answer, though. Yeah. I will say that Oh my gosh The butterfly is the same color as her parachute Oh She So her plan

But here's the thing She stabs him Her plan was always to run up to the top Of the Eiffel Tower And jump off Because that's the only reason why she'd be wearing a parachute She didn't ever think that this plan was going to go over smoothly

She was like fuck I got to run up And do the most audacious exit Of all time Jumping off the Eiffel Tower with a parachute where everyone go, oh yeah, that's her. That's the murderer. That's the one. And your plan is to land in an open top

speedboat with the most famous French industrialists in Paris. Who? Like, why would you drive the fucking boat? Send your guy with the scar on his face. There's so many people who could have done that job.

And then the fucking, and then they won up their own most French guy with the drunk taxi. driver who's just sitting drinking wine and all he says after his car is stolen is my car my car! My car!

The plan! The plan! The best thing ever, I believe in any James Bond movie is what happens here, which is James Bond while he is driving this car, it's getting cut in various cars. The tops off, the back's off. But then a car just kind of like... Taps it.

Taps it. Taps it. And it splits in half like. a yogi bear cartoon. Like I was expecting James Bond's feet to come out like Flint's does that br-r-r-r-r-r-r-I can't imagine whatever car company that was was happy with that. Also, that's

to presume that it's a front-wheel drive car. Because once the back is off the car, you shouldn't be able to drive that car anymore. And he doesn't just drive it for a couple feet. Seems like he drives it for like another half a mile. Oh yeah, at least. And he parks it. Yeah, he literally just almost parallel parks

the thing. Yep. Then runs on to a boat, ruins a wedding, where chefs are going to murder him with a giant butcher knife. And we find out that he cost 6 million francs. 6 million francs. And that is still not before

main plot has introduced. June, can I ask you a question? Sure. I feel like you're not done talking about the butterflies. No, I'm not. I think you know I'm not. I guess I'm trying to imagine

like I'm in this restaurant. Put yourself there. Yeah, I see a woman. I see a woman come on stage. Have you come for her, or is this a surprise show to you? I think I've heard about it. You've heard about it, yeah. Now, what did you, June, what did you hear,

did you hear, go see this amazing butterfly show? Honestly, I think I did. I think I heard that it was this crazy butterfly act. And I was like, I can go see it. And you're, and so you're under the impression you're going to see some live butterflies because you're a fan. Like going to the center of the movie.

Park Zoo or something. I assume it's going to be something crazy with butterflies. I'm shocked to realize. All the butterflies are fake. They're on fishing wire. Some are. Some are... No, Paul. No, the ones that come out of the front look like they were

coming out of like an air vent. Yeah, it's a mix. It's... Okay. It is. It is. If it's a mix, you're saying that some are just being fanned up. And then where do they fall? They fall all over, June. They just fall in front of the stage.

Okay, I guess my problem is, as an audience member, I'm also, what I'm also seeing is I'm seeing a man up there dressed in all black and stage and-hand. How can I ignore him? You're seeing him. How can I ignore him? You should ignore him. Participate in the, in the, the, the ephemeral nature of disown.

I'm trying to. I'm game. I want us to suspend my disbelief. But I see a man in all black. We're in Paris. You're wearing this shirt. Okay, fine. It makes sense.

Are you, do you ask for your money back? Here's what I expect. If the butterflies aren't going to be real, and I think this is what I've been trying to get out. Wait, you are expecting that? If the butterflies are not going to be real, then I would expect the butterfly dance to be the thing that I'm here to see. Thank you. I expect if the butterflies are all fake, okay, I get it. It's not, I'm not going to watch like a crazy trick.

What I am going to see is an art form. Yeah, come for the butterfly, stay for the dance, but there's no dance. There's no dance, and there's no song. And then I have a problem with. So June on Yelp, what are you giving it? Zero star. Whoa. Wow.

You don't even like the food? Yeah. I'm just looking to see if... Have you found the papillon, Paul? I'm looking. I have not seen much research on this butterfly lady. I mean, here's an image of it. the movie, you know, but they don't really have much information on this butterfly act.

I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry. You guys are going to have to do your own work at home later. To find out more about the butterfly act. I think, you know, this is one of those things I'm not surprised to hear it was real. I feel like I'm disappointed that in that instance there wasn't like a scene in a bond film where like Moomin Shons were part of it. Or Shields in Yarnel.

It seems akin to like a mime act, this butterfly thing, you know? I think just because it was foreign, that was enough for them. You know, it felt global or something. I also like how it's announced with a guitar and then there's no guitar on stage. That's right. Like a flamenco guitar. Guys, you know what's good? Free snacks.

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all that's not a good stuff. Listen into the frame. Do you know, now this is interesting. We're going to talk, you know, James Bond eventually meets up with the villain. Eventually. It's not just the butterfly movie. I can... This podcast might make you believe this movie takes primarily place in the third scene in the movie.

It does not. Apparently, it was announced that David Bowie was going to be playing Max Zoran. And then, like, after it was announced, he turned it down because he didn't want to spend five months watching his... stunt double fall off cliffs. And then the role was offered to Sting. It was written with Sting in mind. Oh, really?

Offered to David Bowie. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Then went to Rucker Hauer. That's right. Yeah. And then finally Christopher Warnold. But this plot is basically Goldfinger revisited,

but the original version of the script was, instead of the Silicon Valley earthquake, he was going to redirect Halley's Comet down into Silicon Valley. Which was deemed too unbelievable. Can you believe? that. What? That's awesome.

Can we just start at the horses and can you take me through the plot? No, I can't. The horses... I would rather if you took us through the plot. I can't. I really can't. You're being forced. A gun is to your head.

Someone's like, I need to know the plot. A sharp butterfly is to your neck. I need to know. Right now, just go, I need to explain the plot in a paragraph or less. So here we go. go. Just the evil plan. Just the evil plan. Well, I know the evil plan is to blow up Silicon Valley to get a monopoly over the microchip industry.

That's right. That's right. Yeah. So the horses... It just sounds insane. Especially because of how much time is... By the way, what I don't understand still is what the sort of global, why there was that summit of all the leaders. I really don't...

Oh, were they bad guys? Well, industrialists. I think they're the people that are going to profit from the lack of microchip competition. Why are there so many of them? I think why are there so few of them? Okay, where I get lost,

where I get lost is in the horses of it all. Because a lot of this movie is about horses. I'm just going to, I'm going to... Oh. All right, so the plot of this movie is that he wants to flood Silicon Valley to disrupt the microchip production so he could own all the microchips.

I'd like to show you what Roger Ebert's problem was with this film. Oh, this is delightful. Amazing research here. They are amazing. She pulls all these amazing clips. Avril Halley, she does it all. Here you go. Here we go. Good job, Avery.

How stupid can you get? Anyway, Walton's plan is the corner of the market on computer chips by destroying all the computer firms in California, Silicon Valley. But Unfortunately, he has overlooked one basic fact. The computer manufacturers in Silicon Valley are the purchasers of computer chips, which they put into their computers. They are not the manufacturers who are basically in Japan,

so he isn't killing the competition. He's killing his own customers. A real bond villain would never make a mistake like that. Roger Ebert, laying down the law. That's hilarious. Matt Myra, Alfredus, Salix, to Roger Ebert. Well, done, Roger Ebert. The most nerdy response to why this movie doesn't work.

Why I saluted him was because I was going to say that. It does not. There's no manufacturing in there. You're just killing all the companies that make the shit that needs the chips. Right. So the genius, the engineered by horse steroids in his mother's stomach genius, that is Max Zoren. is just destroying all of the people

that would be buying his bullshit. Do you think that they know that? Do you think that that's just how crazy he is? And his whole plan, he doesn't even see the folly in it. It's just an exercise for him. That is true. He did. His big thing, there's a line I'm going to jump

all the way to almost the end of the movie just for this line. He does say to his, crazy German doctor father monical guy that may be the most British guy even not from the British

crazy German doctor father imagine the largest cataclysm ever to occur on the earth and then the other guy goes and everyone will think it was natural and then they're just so happy with that they're just so happy

they flooded a valley by the way Like, Halley's comet, redirecting that to hit Silicon Valley, makes so much more sense than what they're doing. It's like, okay, so there's horse tranquilizers that give horses super speed. We don't need to really worry about that. Then there's...

No, here's... No, we do need to worry about it, only for about 45 minutes. Then we're going to completely not need to do it. That is in there just to show that they do genetic experiments, which somehow justifies why Max Zorin is hyper-intelligent, hyper-crazy. There's a...

But by the way... There's a German doctor, so for sure there are genetic experts. We know that. He's not like hyper-intelligent. Like he doesn't seem smart to me. He doesn't seem like, he doesn't seem smarter than literally anyone in the movie. Smart people don't own blimps. Number one.

It's a t-shirt right there. But yeah, he's not like, he's not super smart, he's not super strong. because even when he's fighting Grace Jones she's kicking his ass. But it's Grace Jones. But as Q says, Grace is taking her vitamins. Because she can wrangle a horse.

How much training has the KGB given him? Because they're like, we built you, we engineered you, we and if that's the case, they've done a shit job. Because he's not that strong. He's not that smart.

He's just kind of like, he's the kind of blondy good looks of a really evil guy. He only took the business classes at the KGB. Like how to get a lot, how to diversify your portfolio, how to pilot a blimp. Every semester, he dropped world domination class. Well, I thought it was also weird that. I mean, I feel like in any other movie you'd have,

as an audience member, you'd be with your two main characters as they were figuring out this evil plan. in this film you find out about half an hour earlier what his evil plan is and then you just watch them try to figure it out which is annoying

because we already know and so it's not interesting at all and we're smarter than them and they basically show you like when Christopher Walkin reveals his plan he has a big map and everyone's looking at it and then later on in the movie

there's a different map that they're looking at and then that also What I would love is a movie that follows the one guy that makes models and maps for supervillains. What do you need? Fort Knox? I got it. I have to do a Holy Eastern Seaboard for Zorn. Meanwhile, this guy's up my ass for an iceberg.

Now, wait a second. You want this thing to come up from a table? I can do that. It's going to take six more weeks. And I only really need to use it once or twice. I'm never going to really talk about it again. Green lights to symbolize oil wells and red dots to symbolize fault lines. Done. My cousin Jimmy does the dots. Hey, Jimmy!

How often are you going to use this? Are you going to have it on all the time? Or you're going to keep it closed shut down with a sheet over it, hidden in a side room that maybe they'll come across eventually. But not in like the big room where you put out of the bed. If you want us to build like a table that goes down, that's going to cost you a little bit extra. and I got to talk to my other cousin, Paul.

Hey! We need another table that comes up. Are you still working on that death star for that time from outer space? I only finish half of it. There's only one problem. If you get to this one hole, you can blow up the entire thing.

I'm sure it's fine. All right. We have no more time. He's very strict. By the way, they do have the big map, this big expensive map, in, like, the construction room. They've really set up for a lot of construction there

you guys were having a good time but I still fail to see a flaw with this movie here's something that's interesting again that was found out for me by Nate he is a for an unknown reason

there are several inside jokes in the film that refer to the JFK assassination yeah this this I think is some internet guy that just made these things oh really okay they're stretches Zorin's main strike is scheduled for the 22nd the same day as the Kennedy the assassination. Interesting. Patrick McNeese

characters murdered and named Sir Godfrey Tippett, a Dallas police officer, J.D. Tippett, was killed the same day as J.F.K. And the Texan who's named Connolly, governor John Connolly, was also shot in the assassination. So, all right, maybe you're right. All right. So we are still barely into this movie. Now, Grace Jones, main nemesis, so far in this movie,

three times, has been James Bond. Yep. she's like when he shows up at her house huh I think I saw this guy I don't know what it just in was it when I parachuted off the Evel Tower landed in that thing we stared each other through the mirror

for a second yeah the glass window hmm I don't know that was only yesterday I don't know if that's the same guy huh alright I'm gonna go back in here and do some more evil shit like she does not fully recognize him was she also a steroid baby No, it seems to me... She's a steroid adult.

Yeah. It seemed to me she was just getting shots on the side. Gotcha. Wait, she's that... Yeah, she's strong too because she wrangles a horse, she picks a man up over her head.

Yeah, yeah. And that's a weird show of force. Yeah. Like, just punch him. You don't have to lift someone over your head like a baby. That is true... That is asserting true dominance.

Then, do you know who's in the background of that scene? indeed. Her boyfriend, Dolf Lundgren. Dolf Lundgren. A boyfriend at the time. Guy in the front row got excited. There he is. A young, attractive Dalf Lundgren right there.

All right, everybody, relax. Everybody just got wet. June, I want to talk to you about the fight-love scene between Christopher Walkin and Grace Jones. Because as a child, I was disturbed by this, and as an adult, I'm disturbed by it. What's going to be? What's going to be?

on when she goes, she chumps her teeth like Ice Man and Top Gun and like a wild animal like and like, is that a game that they play or does she not want to be mounted by the successful Max Zoren? Good question, Paul. June? Well, I think there is something going on. I can't

remember if it's in this scene or an earlier scene with her. There's a moment where she gets super excited about something and she slaps herself in the face. Yeah. Is that that scene or that's a separate? That's earlier. That's earlier. Yeah, she's strange.

Well, I mean... I mean, I don't know what's going on with her. Is she a horse that has been shaved down to be a human? Like the way they turn... The way they turn big carrots into baby carrots? Yeah, because it would be described, it would really explain a lot as she was a whore. That's the genetic test thing he's now doing.

He has made a horse baby, a human. It would explain the ornate hair. I hated the animal noises. I wanted to distance myself from this theory at first. You know how the geiger alien, if it's in a human, it comes out more humanoid. If it's in a dog, it comes out more like a dog. She's like a geiger horse alien. I think this is, guys, I'm just going to go out of a limb here and say this is,

erotic foreplay. They are just wrestling around until they get their juices flowing and then because he's like, remember the phone rings and he's like, I told you not to disturb us because they're clearly going to be like bone zoning all over the place

once they get out of those geese. Oh yeah, they're just in their they're in their larval stage right now and they're ready to pop. They're going to be beautiful butterflies. Four minutes from dipping his dick and some caviore. You had a euphemous... That's how they have sex in this movie, right?

But in the next scene, in the very next scene, like, James Bond's plan because he's figuring out the thing about the horses, which makes no difference in the movie, who cares? Oh, but James Bond immediately knows exactly what the steroid is and how it's delivered just by looking at it. I guess fucking makes you smart.

There's a presumption and James Bonding Matt's, I'm going to put this to you because you are the experts. There's a presumption in this movie, and I believe all of these movies, that an enormous part of spying is just sport-fucking the enemy. Well, I mean, this movie, that is the most sex he ever has, right? He fucks everybody, and everybody fucks him, and all of it is in service of spying.

Well, he does. Welcome to the real life of Cold War espionage. That's how the wall came down in Berlin. It was fucked. They fucked it down? Yeah, they fucked it down. He does fuck it down. He does fuck this wall down.

He does, he fucks four different females. This is the most. This is, yeah, the most Roger Moore had ever. At almost the height of the AIDS crisis? Yeah. Hot tub girl, submarine girl. Grace Jones. And that's about it.

Yeah, that's four. That's a lot of ladies. Does he have sex with Johnny Roberts, though? What? Well, they're in the shower, and then they go down. They're in the shower. They're not showering together to get each other clean. That's what I thought.

Or maybe they are. Well, then, but he also is like her father. He acts like her father the entire time. She may just be bathing him to, like, take care of him. You know. He's got in a shower to hop them out of the shower. She's a cat. shower chairs.

That's what that little droid is. Scrubbing his tank. The saddest thing, it's really a strange... Scrubing his tank. Come on, man. Disgusting.

It would need to be done, Jason. There's a really disturbing scene where I know we're jumping ahead, but where Tanya Roberts is in like this very childlike bed. It's like the room kind of has a pink tube. It's like a twin bed.

Oh, you mean, it's a small bed. Childhood bedroom. Oh, okay. her childhood bedroom. There's a dollhouse in there. Which has been preserved. And she has had this horrible thing happened that day where there's...

You mean a home invasion? Her life. A full home invasion by the wippiest guys. Four guys. One of them with the worst toupee you've ever seen in your life. By the way, all the guys that James Bond fights in this movie are also equally old.

Yeah. Like, there always are any old guys out there. Because it's the stunt crew that had been working with him since he started. But immediately after these men, attempt to home invade her. She decides... They don't attempt, June.

They invade her home. No. They make it upstairs and downstairs. Fine. Immediately after it happens, she says she has to go feed the cat. Right. That's the first thing that's on her mind. After she smacked her grandfather's ashes on one of the guys' heads. By the way, I hate to break it to her.

That urn was empty. Yes. I would have loved it if there was ashes everywhere. Nothing in there. But then later on that night, he goes to the bathroom. him. She falls asleep immediately. Wait, she first, in between, changes into nightwear.

Super sexy nightwear. Oh, by the way, are we talking about that after he makes her a full-on kish? He got nothing in the kitchen. Do you know about this? Do you guys remember in the 80s, there was this book called Real Men Don't Eat Kish. And it was a joke. It was like a cultural joke of,

and this book was a satire book about like, you know, men don't bake and they don't make fine food. man who just wants a burger and stuff like this. So this was like their response. James Bond needed to answer that cultural question of, does a real man eat Kish? No, he makes it himself.

And then he really undersells it. He's like, it's Kish. She's like, what's that? What's that? He's like, scramble legs. Yeah. Also, I hate to believe that this girl who is the heiress to an oil manufacturing

company does not know what a fucking Kish is. Good point. And also I love that we're supposed to... What the fuck is that? It's egg pie? We're supposed to feel so much sympathy for this... I mean, and maybe, again, I didn't understand a lot of the movie,

so maybe I'm just completely off. But it seems like we're supposed to care about this very wealthy family that was digging for oil. I mean, they were not philanthropists. Right. And they were not... You know what I mean? We're supposed to care so deeply that they've lost their company.

Well, I think the fact is that they lost it to Max Zoren. Fair enough. Fair enough. Who cares? But there's a scene later on where she falls asleep. But why is she standing on, like, why won't you take the $5 million, which she said is six times more than it's worth? Like, what is she holding on to?

Hang on. Her oil company is only worth $500,000. Hang on. She's working a day job at, like, City Hall. Yeah. And it's a vegetable oil company. It's not even crude oil. Oh, it's vegetable oil.

Then we can support her. Oh, it's vegetable oil. No, I'm joking. Oh. Oh. And I agreed to it really quickly. I was on board. I was like, oh, that's very nice.

No, it's canola. Girlie just established dominance very quickly. By the way, doesn't that home invasion? Those guys seem so intimidating. And then when James Bond beats them all up slowly, one guy runs away and is like, hey! Because the car is speeding out.

He's like, hey, wait for me! And here's the thing that I couldn't figure out is like, so they, home invade, they come to kill her, I think. and James Bond chases them off, at which point they stay in her house for days. They sleep there that night. The CIA guy comes and visits the American.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. I need to talk about the CIA guy. Wuhan. Okay, so James Bond meets his CIA counterpart in a fish market. He's like, do you have any soft-shell crab? And he's like, yeah, we got some out back. And they go, and all I could think of is,

why is this guy undercover at a fish market? Like he is... Is he on another assignment? Or is he working in this? And also, the code word is only... You walk up to a fish market

in San Francisco. And all you have to do is get this asshole and say to him, do you have any soft shell crab? I have some in the back. There's no other fucking thing you have to say to him

and then he whips out his CIA credential and then calls you 007. He was doing that all morning. Yes. You keep having to call the main office and be like I did it again. We need to have this man killed, this woman killed.

I want to see the other side of this scene. A bunch of people are having to crab party where you have to have them killed. It's a popular recipe. I want to see like they walk out back and he's like here they give my card and he's like, yeah, what is that? We just want the soft shell crab Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Oh, I like to imagine he has to keep killing them. God, I still fail to see a flaw. Next scene. But here's my theory on this. Like, Donnie Brascoe, like Johnny Depp is undercover. They don't go, hey, by the way, Johnny Depp's character in Johnny Brasco,

Donny Brasco, like, hey, also, you might get another guy coming by, just deal with him, do you? Like, he's, is he undercover as a fishmonger and then also doing, like, a side job? Or is he working with Max Roth? I think that that was his sort of his post. I think that's his cover. Yeah. Because he has just the fishmonger?

Well, he has his fisherman buddy. Yeah. Does a terrible quint impression, then it disappears. Yeah. That's right. And then... Okay, I would conjecture that this guy's beat for the CIA

is the fish beat. Yeah. He's like the Aquaman and the CIA? Fish crime. You don't want people selling a sea bass like a Chilean sea. sea bass. You can't mislabel that shit. What are you talking about? We're the CIA.

Of course we have someone in the fish market. We are the fish market. The guy with the boat is probably who disposes of all the people who ask for soft shell crab. And he keeps calling the office, can we get a different code thing? Because this isn't working for me. All of this, all

of this, the CIA guy, they're in San Francisco, the plot to flood, all of it. And I don't want to send us backwards too much. It takes place after one hour plus spent at Christopher Watkins' palatial estate where horses are being

auctioned and Bond is undercover as a horse buyer named James Sin John Smyth Sin John Smyth Sinjon Smyth which I had close captioning on

which is the only reason I understand it was St. John. St. John Smyth. Yeah. Not Singen Smyth. No. Wait, wait, no, really? Wait, no, hold on. St. John. It is.

He writes the check with that name. But that's how you say it. It's how he's... Oh. Wait, wait, wait. They say the name 1,000 times, Sinjin Smyth. And what about Mr. Shingen Smyth?

Have you checked on Mr. Singen Smyth? And I was like, what fucking kind of name is this? What is this? And I turned it on, St. John Smyth. Fuck you, movie. We've also glossed. over the most important scene in this movie, nay, cinema history,

and that is when Roger Moore beds Grace Jones. And kisses her in what, may what be the most uncomfortable moment I've ever experienced in my life. He does this, like, purse lips, his cheeks, like, suck in, like, a bellows, and it just feels like he's taking the life from her, but she somehow has more to spare.

That's how you kiss a horse. It's like a mouth eater's kiss. But do you know, have you heard the story behind this? Yes, this is amazing. Please tell it. Okay, well, apparently, Roger Moore and Grace Jones did not get along during this movie. Go figure. You know, two pieces of pod.

Grace Jones known for beating up a reporter on a live, like, interview show. Yeah, slapping him. Yeah. She apparently had a big black dildo under the covers and tried to just have her way with Roger Moore is as a joke, but Roger Moore used to do something. Roger Moore would always like, Goose the Girls that he would bed. And they're like,

you've got to do something to him. So she got a big black Dildo. Wait, what are you saying, goose the girls? I have also confused by this. You guys don't know that term? It's like, cinginjew The girls. It's spelled differently, but it's... Does he like pinch them or does he like

squeeze a part of the... What is this? You must have That's a dog's a melody. So you're just pinching. So he pinching. Yeah. So he pinched the little soft shell crap. Hang on. So.

No one third the term goose when you goof somebody? No, but like I wonder like, so someone says this to Grace Jones and a little pinch. And her response to this is I will fuck him with a black dildo. No, her response is, let me go to my briefcase full of black dildos cut in cutout foam and bring out, oh, let's say Charlie number 12 and put it under the bed. Charlie number 12 was also undercover for the CIA. And a terrible perfume.

Did you find... Well, also, like, Matt Zoran's like, yeah, yeah, go fuck him. Like, he's like... Oh, that's what I mean. That's part of what's up, I guess. Everybody's just up for like, okay, fuck him. Yeah, good. Yeah, you have to fuck him.

Well, it's interesting, though, because she has an emotional connection to Zorin. Right. She thinks he loves her. But wait, wait, wait, wait. They know that he's the guy who chased her down. They stared at each other. They saw each other's faces. They know he's bad.

They know that he escaped through the thing. She's going to fuck him instead of just kill him? Also, also, break his dick off. What the fuck is Zoran doing not just fucking punching his name into his magical license to kill computer? that he has at his desk. Like, at any point,

I bet he could go down to that office and punch this in. Something tells me that when you're so deep undercover in MI6, there's not like a file that comes up as like, undercover. It's really armed. But that's the problem with these movies is they have it both ways.

When he wants to be secret to secret and then most of the time it's James Bond, famous super spy in our hotel. Yeah, what's amazing about it is that this movie gives the impression that no one in the KGB except for the smartest guy on the planet doesn't know who fucking James Bond is.

And he's the only guy. And he told him said multiple times to these people as different people. But even the blonde girl who he beds in a hot tub knows him immediately. Okay, here's a question, right? Yeah. Great move.

Walking sends Grace Jones to kill the French detective with the Papillon. Yeah. who is sitting at a table with James Bond. Grace Jones, for another 90 minutes, does not recognize James Bond. She just saw him. They were face-to-face on the boat.

Yeah, she was lining up her butterfly target right by him. Yes. I mean, and arguably because he was talking to Bond, right? Right. Well, he was giving out information. I feel like he was just, she was just going to kill him. But my point being, like, he is, you're right, they always want it both ways. He is capable of being so, you know, like, he convinces Tanya Roberts.

He's a reporter for the, whatever, whatever. James Stok. Yes, exactly. And it's always James Blank. James Stott. Well, except for the times where he really. He can't remember a different first name. He really is unrecognizable when he puts on a tiny hat.

A smart equestrian cap. Yeah. By the way, there's always. His face and hair feel like something was going on in that hair. Trump-wise, you mean? They had to thicken it every day. For sure. Really?

Yeah. They had to thicken it every day in this movie. Your body language is just, we're destroying your childhood movie. They had to thicken it like with flour. But his hair is so weird. I would have less problem saying my hair was thinning. Like, it's harder for me to admit that Roger Moore's hair. hairs that it's somehow breaking

it's okay Sean Connery wore a two pay through all of them I know that It's just Get to when they break into City Hall And this Oh I still got my car Let's go to City Hall at night

Do you have any clips of Tiny Roberts Acting? Oh yeah 100% Bring up because I have not seen A delivery like this James In my I was wondering

Okay this is also something I wanted to bring up James Bond is asleep on a chair with a shotgun to protect her. She leaves the room, prepares breakfast, comes back. This old motherfucker does not wake up unless there's an earthquake. An earthquake, which she has an apple to see. That is hooked up to the earthquake, Matt. Yep.

It's with a push of the button. She can read the seismic reaction to that earthquake. Well, this is the scene. This is not since January. January, what was it? No, not January, what was her name? Christmas. Christmas Jones.

Christmas Jones. When Denise Richards played a geologist of some kind too. Yeah, she was a nuclear physicist. Okay, yeah, here we go. Big difference. Oh, sorry, let's protect you. Oh, you're not even, oh. I don't want to say.

Breakfast, all the bed. What's wrong with your pets? His suit is made of skin, by the way. They're extremely sensitive to seismic activity. She's wearing A Will Arnette style robe from 30 Rock She's a minor job

Has your 2.5 million She is a full face of makeup First thing in the morning She's a full body of it The epicentress near Zorn's oil field I told him Zorin was pumping seawater Look at him though, he's amazing

Come on Is that a connection Seawater Like June, let me ask you a question Those Wells are in the Hayward fault Are you sure Check took myself that's incredibly dangerous

I'll have to stop Zoran now I gotta say that okay maybe this wasn't her best scene but I enjoyed her wait wait what about Paul you probably don't have it but the scene where they are talking to the CIA agent around the dinner table don't have that and she

remembers I still have my security badge and then the way she delivers and it's summer so City Hall's open late it's not blackout days. Well, and then the way she delivers the line, I have to get it upstairs. There's no reason for that.

There's no reason for that. And then the CIA agent goes out, he apparently pulls up to all of his jobs with fucking death metal playing. So loud. Like he drives out, there's such a loud music coming from his car. Can I ask a question?

Why do they kill the CIA agent in his car and then drive away in his car? Why not to that? Why not just kill the rest of them? Do they only come to get him? When are you guys going to realize? He had the end on the fish market. No. Was that a hit?

That wasn't even Grace Jones. That was somebody else entirely. You're looking for plot continuity. These are performance art killers and they're making a statement. Grace Jones's move is this great move. This one, which is just this like, hey, just a normal car.

Just sneaking up the old Sneaker up her. I will say it did get me the first time. Me too. See? The first time and she disappeared. I was like, oh, that's funny that they made her kind of magic.

She kind of just disappeared. They made her kind of magic. And then she was in the car the whole time, and I was like, oh boy, I'm dumb. I really got too stone to watch this movie. See? I should have seen that a mile away. It's art.

They break into City Hall, and, well, this sequence, I mean, the fact that Zorin catches them who gives us shit. Because they are in there 100%. But the thing that I'm amazed at is this next sequence where they light City Hall on fire. And then all of a sudden the movie is like,

well, let's see what a homeless person's perspective of this scene might be. And they cut to a homeless person. Socially conscious. And again, to June's point before, like, you, us, the audience know the plan, so it's not really fun for us to watch them discover the plan.

This, you're watching a homeless man really, like, like watch this rescuing of James Bond and the girl, but we're also on the inside seeing James Bond rescue the girl. There's no, like, James Bond pops, yes. Paul, this is the audience surrogate. We're seeing this through his eyes, because we are garbage people.

This is, this movie is. I would love to be garbage people, but here's the thing. We see him save her, and then they cut to the outside, and everyone's like, oh, will he save her? And then, yeah, we saw it already. This is the director of John Glenn, realizing Spielberg would become hugely popular, and this is the same reason that Camper Shell gets the top ripped off,

so you see that couple go, what? Yeah. It's all about those little Spielberg cameos. They steal everything in James Bond movies. So that's a Spielberg thing? I don't remember ET being told to the point of views of a drunk, except for Drew Barrymore. She was drunk at the time.

She's fine now. But here's the weird thing. I sort of accepted it way too soon. I sort of get it from the point of view of the naked people in the car when the top of the top of us up. Yeah, because they're just trying to get their groove on in the back of a pickup truck.

And it's surprising and different that this should happen in the middle of their... Like, what the? Yes, but for the homeless man, it's so weird. Because you always had sex with Paul lying next to him half covered. Of course. They're just next to each other.

Yeah, of course. But when... But for the homeless person's point of view, he's just outside being homeless and then this... Well, he's not going to be inside being homeless. He's just outside being homeless. Because that's how he do.

Don't know. I'm just outside being homeless. Now, what's going on here? If you invite me in. I guess what I'm saying is it's not like it's not like he's slipping on a banana peel. It's not like, whoa, this is crazy. It's like he just happens to look up

and this thing is happening pretty far away from him. So to your point It's not really that Like that cameo where he's doing something I'm not saying it worked Again I just feel like you But the music is like triumphant Like Chayas Bond saved

They're like Everyone's like watching Dance into the fire And then we get into a 15 minute long Fire truck chase So this is one thing I want to talk about From a Chicago cop in San Francisco This is what I want to talk about

because their, Zorn lights all of City Hall on fire. A blaze. A blaze. And what does James Bond fucking do but steal a working fire truck? And drive

it away from the scene of a fire. What a piece of shit. It is so weird to see this movie because I saw it so young that I've never questioned it. It's like I never doubt that the inwarks are brilliant. Into the fire truck. We'll get away in this.

Wait a second. I want to challenge one more theory of this. He also hits a lever on the fire truck that shoots out water as if it's hooked up to a fire hydrant. But that's not how fire trucks were, right? Like, fire

trucks are not full of water. Some tank trucks are. Okay, that's not a tank truck. That's the ladder truck. That is a ladder truck. You're right. Some way. Some fire trucks do have water in this? Then this movie is restored back to good. Wait a second. I do want to know just because I feel like we are conjecturing about it. June, do you know anything about fire trucks? I know a little bit. You do? Yeah. I'd love to hear about it. You live down the bar from a

firehouse. I did. Yeah, for a long time. I don't know. I mean, I felt like the hose situation I also had an issue with because I didn't know what it was attached to. Sure. I understand what you're saying, like, it seemed crazy that he was taking the fire truck away from a fire. Seems irresponsible. There are still, I believe, other people in City Hall. And it really did seem like that was the only fire truck on the scene. It was that one in the one, was that one in the ladder truck that he climbed down the ladder of.

He climbed down that. That's the same one. No, that ladder was up. Oh, okay. And he gets on this truck and drives away. So there's two trucks. He drives away in one of them. You're also forgetting the fact that the San Francisco Police Department has already found a body process

and decided who killed him. And this guy is 100% familiar. While the building's on fire. He's 100% familiar with James Bond. Like, yeah, yeah, I heard about you. Okay, I get it. How? You guys, the minus column is

almost where the plus column is for this movie. Okay. Well, I have to say, too, Tanya Roberts, she seems fine when she starts her descent on that ladder, and then halfway, he's carrying dead weight down that ladder. That seemed wrong.

She's not. She's fine. She seems healthy to me. Is it that she's wearing heels and it would be hard to walk down the ladder and heels? Of course it would be hard, but she never takes off at any point to run out of the burning building? She leaves her six-inch heels on? You got to look good. James.

Oh, she... She says James so many times. James, don't leave me. James, help me so much that I was like, ooh, I want you to leave her. I know. She just had abandonment issues, I think. She's very codependent. Yep.

I will say that. She was very codependent. Grandpa! Yeah, she had a very unnatural... Grandfather! Very unnatural relationship with the portrait of her grandfather. I didn't like the scene

where he plays peekaboo with her for like five minutes. Grandpa, where did you go? I'm right here. And he pulls a quarter out of her. She has a lack of object permanence. James Singean Smyd

James Stalk James Sindgen Smyth I couldn't fucking deal with that June how would you How did you I mean I will ask you this As a

As a romance expert I guess I'll ask you this Did you find that there was Like a chemistry between the two of them? No You guys are cold and dead No I mean it did feel

Especially that scene where he's bedside, it felt like, oh, this is just, I felt the whole situation was very vulnerable, like, oh, there's a little baby girl lying on the bed, and there's a really old man sitting in the chair. It's kind of like the beginning scene in

Princess Bride. Oh, no. This is a May-December romance, but it's December of the next year. It's, their relationship is... Baby New Year and Old New Year. Their relationship is, because he really, he fucks, like,

at the drop of a hat. Like, he fucks... He fucks four women in the movie, as we said, three of whom he just fucks like Willie, almost accidentally. Like, Grace Joan? There's not even flirting going on.

There's nothing. But with Tanya Roberts, he does. He acts like a daddy to her. Like, he's got to... He tucks her into bed. He tucks her into her childhood bed. It's disturbing.

She's wearing, like, almost nothing. And he tucks her into like a twin canopy bed. with the comforter, and I was like, this is fucking gross as shit. After he had provided a meal for her. Yes.

And then he watches over her with her cat in his lap. There was a lot of shots of that cat, and there was a lot of shots of the KGB agent's white panties. Oh, yeah. I didn't see this. There were like three close-ups when they're in the hot tub of like panties. I was like, I feel like this is just supposed to be, like, salacious.

Like, guess what? She's not wearing bottoms. Because guess what? They're right there. Panties, clean. And you also be, like, James Bond naked. Not period panties. You see James Bond from knee down,

and I didn't want that camera to go up. I didn't want any more. And then, like, it cuts outside to her boss, the head of the KGB, who for some reason is in San Francisco waiting for an agent to blow James Bond. They're in a bathout. They're in a bath mouth.

He doesn't even know the guy, she has no, she's just there doing something else. She's just doing her own mission. Well, yeah. She's unrelate. So they don't even know James Bond is there. She's like, oh my gosh, James Bond. So the stuff she's doing when she's in scubing?

With the Sony Walkman? Yeah. The very high tech device known as a Sony fucking Walkman. But when she meets him under the docks, yeah. Well, she's on another mission there? She's on her own mission. But it's a similar mission.

She was on a mission. They're trying to take down Zorin, too, because they don't know each other. I mean, they don't know each other are doing this. No. They're not in conjunction. This part was originally supposed to be played by Barbara Bach, who was the lead in The Spy Who Love Me, so it was supposed to be a recurring character.

But she, I think my only explanation is she read the script and I'm not touching this movie. And was she also, wasn't she also married to Ringo stars? Yes, she still is. I am married to Ringo star, so I do not need to do this movie. I'm doing movies like caveman, thank you, no. That's where they met. Yeah. And they fell in love.

Yeah. And now, who knows? All right, so, yeah, that's a mess. That whole sequence is a mess. But we'll agree, it's just that sequence, right? Everything else is we're good on? Which says the bubbles are tickling Mike. Tchaikoski. I know that these guys have questions.

I want to get to their questions as well, but I want to just, before we do, just talk about the most anti- climactic end scene of any James Bond movie like the villain death is so like blah. I may seriously fight you on this. Really? What I do like about his death is the laugh

he lets up. Yes, I love that. Before he falls. He's like, ha ha! I'm gonna tell him. I thought it was a great choice. But I also felt like it's two men that aren't really good fighters and who aren't the most precarious place. And then sort of like and then one fell off.

Like, it's like it's like, you know, here's a story behind that, too. They said you can go up on the bridge as long as you don't fight up there. You can only struggle. That's the only way we're going to legally allow you to do it. So that's why when you see them up there, they're just kind of doing the twist. Wait, really? Yeah. Why?

Because they were afraid people would go up there and fight? No, they were afraid that. We can't encourage it. They were afraid someone would actually get hurt. Yeah, they were afraid the stuntmen themselves if they were too physical would, like, slip up and fall. or something. Because it is, like, that's, I mean, I don't mind him grabbing on and falling,

but it's like, you want something, you want something more. Yeah, yeah. Even just a whole, like, grab onto James Bond's leg and James Bond's leg and James Bond's like, oh, you know, they're all hanging off the bridge.

It does, as soon as Christopher Walken falls off the bridge, it makes me realize the movie I wanted to see was the crazy German guy in an airship. Oh, yeah. An airship that has a safe with dynamite in it. I would argue with a refrigerator. Oh, it's a refrigerator.

I never put that together. Why does a blimp need a safe? Oh, my God. What does that have died of it? Why is a blimp? It's like a mad bomber. Oh, the humanity. It's like, let's go fishing.

Why does a blimp need a safe? I love that hands are up. I feel like, at a certain point, anybody could just be like, wait, who is at the beginning of the movie, they could have been like, somebody is a villain, somebody's a bad guy, something bad is happening, they might as well just be like, we'll round up all the blimp

owners, and it's one of them. Because only bad guys... So you mean it's either Goodyear or this Max Zoran character? Yeah. It's Fughey Goodier or Zorin. Who's purchased dirigible this year? As I mentioned before, there are two

blimps in this movie, two Zorn, but also, at one point in the movie... That are labeled. Zorin. And he throws a man out of one. Yeah. And wouldn't that come back to Jack? No. All you do is you get the three blimp owners and you go, which one of you some bitch has got a safe in your blimp? Well, what's funny

about the guy that gets thrown out of the blimp in the first place is that all of a sudden they drop, the dummy they drop out of it. They don't even bother to make its legs not flip the completely wrong way. So you're to think that this man fell from the sky and when he hit terminal velocity, his knees broke in half.

June, you had a thought about that. Well, no, I'm just curious. Why blimps for Zoran? Because he's German, and he's a Nazi, and the Hindenburg. Gotcha. I think it's more that they're like, well, we haven't done blimps, and we are out of ideas. Also, the blimp is the most shoehorned in title of this movie. Because of the Golden Gate Bridge was like, ooh, what a view to a kill.

No, no, it's split. It's split by May Day and... So, Wakan. Jason, you be May Day. Honor the text. Honor the text. Jason will be May Day. Matt Gourley, I'll let you be Chris Walking.

Okay. What of you? To a kill. All right, here we go. We got some question. The titular line of that movie. We got some questions. Comes from a poem.

Okay, good. Your question. I was wondering if any of you noticed that when the bomb was counting down at the end, it was reading 19 minutes and 94 seconds. I took a picture. Oh, that says everything. Wait. Wait.

Wait, was it? Yeah, I see it. This movie's terrible, Matt Gourley. Terribly wonderful. All right, your question... It's simply the best. Your question, you're James Bond. Female name and...

Seals, James Seals. Female name would be Misty Slick. Ooh, I like that. Messy Sled? What? Misty Slick. Oh, not bad. Misty Slip.

Misty Slip. Misty slip. How long have you been thinking about that? Too well thought out and gross. Yeah. You're either like a premeditated creep or a genius. And by the way, so the slip is this thing.

I love this. Slit. Right? Slut? Misty, Slit. Slit. Slit. Slit.

Slit. S-L-T. S-L-E-S-L-E-K. Like a, like a... Slit. Like a... O-L-L-S-E. Slick.

Slick. Oh, no, we like the other one. Misty Slick. No, Misty and Slick are two of the same thing. Misty is the adjective for the Slick. Is that right?

Yeah. All right, your question. Now, in the movie, Misty Slick. Is he actually used a gun to kill anyone? Is that because the movie came out two years

after the Ronald Reagan assassination attempt? What's that? James Bond doesn't use a gun in this movie to kill anyone. He also, there's no Q gadgets either in this movie. There is one Q gadget. It is a sharper image credit card.

Yes. Which is on the level of the Batman in there. He has three gadgets. He has three gadgets. He has a window lock. Plus he has the polarized sunglasses and the carbon copy check thing. Oh, yeah. Wait, but you bring up a very good point,

which is was the fact that he didn't use a gun because Ronald Reagan was just almost assassinated with a gun? Not that I'm aware of. Yeah, he was shooting at the other hand of. He didn't kill anybody. But then there is about 35 minutes of Max Zorn mowing down his whole workforce. They don't seem to worry about that.

They're already dying. Just giggling. There are definitely gun deaths in this movie. You, June, you threatened to shut off the movie at that point. I was actually, I was really upset by that part. For his lack of loyalty? These people were dying horrible deaths

already and then he gunned them I would argue I would argue June at least where I fall on this is I would rather get shot to death than drown to death and maybe he's doing a nice thing for them wow

all right your name you're James Bond girl and your and your question all right my name is Cody my Bond girl is Monica Rusty Trombone a little cumbersome it's how Monica I know why Monica

My question is, was the PG-13 rating invented after this movie was made? Because, first of all, there was these slaughtings. The movie was invented for Temple of Doom. Red Dawn. It's Red Dawn. And then Temple of Doom was the second one. 84. Just because there's the slaughtering scene where Max Vorren just wantonly kills dozens of people.

Then there's just like a ton of nipples in the... Dereight. Nipples have been with us in the James Bond movie. Yes, Jake. I barely saw nips. I didn't really see nipples. And I was looking for nips. If you want nipples, check out the spy who loved me, and that's a Matt Gourley moment.

All right, here we go. You, sir. An MGM? That's the one. That's the one. Name James Bond and your question. The more you know. My name is actually Zoran.

What? Paul, get away from him. Check his license. Laws license. He's with a giant African American. American woman. Lawsuit. I guess my James Bond girl name would be

Carolingus. I like it. I like it. Best one yet. And I guess it's not so much question as kind of creep in the back corner.

Yeah, there is. I just wanted to make sure we didn't go an episode without knowing the exact moment in the movie where Jason came. So... I imagine it was the moment. That is an excellent question. Jason, at one point of the movie,

did you come? Great question, Jason. What's this now? He wants to know, when in the movie did you come? Oh. Oh, interesting. Well, it was definitely during the horses.

It's a beautiful animal. It's a beautiful, beautiful animal. All right. Your name, your James Bond Girl, and your question? My name is... This is deeply upsetting. My name's Maria. The Bond Girl name, I think just a good...

I just came. I feel like Vajajay could make a good Bond Girl name. Vajajay. And I would like to ask June, our resident Whig, expert, what he thought of Christopher Walkins' wiggie, wiggy-wig. Hang on, hang on. Because on our podcast, we are always talking. I've always wanted to see you guys be in the same room.

Because Matt Goreley... Because you thought they were the same person? Yes. And you were like, until I see them in a room together, I refuse to believe. Matt Goorley claims to have the best wig d'ar in the business. Well, that's interesting you asked that question because I did not think it was a wig.

It's not a wig. Microphone cheers. Yeah. The wing at all. It's a diet. It's a diet. job, but it's not a wig. It's not, but it's not, I didn't see any hairlines

I wasn't comfortable with. Does this reinforce both of our wig, like, confidence? Yeah. I didn't know for sure it wasn't a wig, but I was, I'm with you, I didn't feel it was. Great job on woodtop. Wait, so with June, it's more of a feeling.

Yeah, no, I never do any research. I think June is always operating on intuition primarily. Let me see here. I want to go, who here has come from a far distance because I want to make sure, if you have a good question from far distance, where are you from? I'm from where the movie is in San Francisco.

That's not that far enough. Anyone further? Anyone further? Do you have a good question? That's in the same state. All come back to you. Is there anybody from that weird restaurant in the Eiffel Tower? Actually, in the audience tonight, we have

Miss Rose, who did the Papillon Butterfly President. That'd be amazing. Yes, all right. Where are your name, your James Bond villain, and your question? Name is Scott from Chicago. The James Bond girl or villain? Oh, uh, girl.

Uh, girl, uh, we'll go doggy style. All right. You can't name a person doggy. Like, it says there's... How about like Dorothy style? Dorothy style? Dorothy style? Christmas is okay.

Because you can see like, oh, we got drunk, we fucked, it was Christmas. I get it. Like, we're not going to go like, oh, we consume, what about this? Pussy galore is just cat and dog. You can do it. There's a precedent.

We fucked. We were listening to the Snoop Dogg record Doggy Style. So, we named her doggy style. Doggy style, Sindjuns smite. What is your question? My question is,

I'm not quite sure on the timeline, but did this movie actually invent snowboarding? Because if it existed before, it's very clear. know that the Beach Boys is inappropriate music. Yeah. It's credited

with popularizing it and putting it into mainstream, I think. Oh, wow. But I'm sure it existed previously. Yeah, I'm sure it did. Because somebody had to do it. That is clearly a snowboard that that guy is using. Now, you would think you have a really good question. Let's see if you have it. Is it good?

All right, what's your name, your James Bond girl, and your question? My name is Aaron and I think like Jugs Eam alone. I like it. What I'm on board? Chexie Malone. What's her cup size?

Triple D. Triple D? Triple D? I mean, it might suffocate you. Let's go back. Double D? Yeah. My question is, towards the beginning of the film

when they're in like the fuck boat. Fuck ship. The fuck sub? I apologize. Fuck sub. Getting a lady on my fuck sub. He says like put it on autopilot. And they're clearly, like, surrounded by large icebergs.

And apparently we learned nothing from the Titanic because he's like, yeah, just put the boat on autopilot. And they're, like, in the middle of a circle of large pieces of ice. Well, I think he was primarily concerned about dipping his dick and some caviar. And here's the thing. The fuck sub can get around. I mean, Titanic was, like, 60 years previously. They've learned from that.

I don't know if you know. The autopilot and the fuck sub is able to avoid icebergs. A fuck sub is powered by fucking. And so they are only in better shape. James, they're running out of steam. We must fuck. All right, here we go. We're almost done with our questions.

Here you go. Your name, you're James Bond Girl, and your question. My name is Nikki. My James Bond Girl would be a duet to me. Duet. One more time. Stand up. Stand up.

That's perfect. Stand up and take that, take a bow. Take a bow. She did it. Here we go. And I think my question is for June because we're in the same boat where Daniel Craig is all.

I know, and then this. Were you really creeped out by the sexual thing? I mean, at one time he says... Oh, dear, she has evidence. You are like a reporter like interviewing James Bond. I had trouble sleeping,

but I got off eventually, and that's because he had just slept with Grace Jones, which I was really creeped out by the... But he was throwing it in Zorin's face that he blasted his lady. Also, what I didn't like is in that scene when Zoran and Grace Jones

opened the door and he's lying in the bed he presents himself as though he's a gift to the people and your point is he's not you know I'm sorry and it's fine it's fine the way he looks

it's just he's not a gift when he does that and he opens the covers like essentially unwrapping himself and she gets in bed they cut like 40 frames out of her getting into bed because she clearly was sharing it. They had to cut all that dildo action out.

All right, well, clearly we had an opinion about this movie, but there are other people who had a different opinion. It is now time for second opinions. These are five-star reviews called from Amazon. The most interesting one before we get into them is this guy, Go Birds 2. He reviews a view to a kill every single year. I can't believe you found my screen name.

And he writes pretty much the same thing. I'm going to just show the audience. Like, this is pages. Pages. Two, three, four, five, six. The reviews get longer. Seven pages of Judeo Kill reviews every single year. He is from New England and he's a top 1,000 reviewer.

Okay. go read that. There's no way I wasn't get into that. This one is from Matt. Maybe one of you guys. Five stars. I love collecting and watching

James Bond movies. So far it's us. But here's a... I love collecting and watching James Bond movies during the winter when there's nothing on nor anywhere to go. Because I pilot a fuck sub.

Because it passes the time. It passes the time. That is why. He likes it. Five stars. Considering suicide. Do you think that he lives in the part of Alaska that gets, is dark for nine months? Doubt it. Patricia Applequist writes, wow.

I forgot how silly we were back then. And better yet, it's a great throwback to what computers used to look like. Honestly, James Bond kisses must be fabulous because there isn't anything risque about them, except for the neon. I don't know what that means. What? Five stars. This person is reviewing this movie

for five stars saying that she likes looking at old computers and imagining sexy Roger Moore kisses. That's... Wait, so if I came across this woman and somehow in life, I was like, you know, I like sometimes seeing old computers in movies. What?

The first thing she'd say is view to a kill. There's two computers in this movie. Don't forget she also likes non-sexualized kissing When she watches war games she just vibrates She functions on a higher play Do you want to play a game This one

This one has so many You guys are gross No you guys are gross for laughing at that Think about that Misty Slit This is pretty great. I own all 21 007 movies. So now we can say

this was written in like 19... This is written after Casino Royale 2005. Well, technically it was written November 23rd 2013. I own all 21 007 movies. If I didn't like them, I wouldn't have bought them.

Oh, that is just sound logic. I think what I like more than anything is when Bond gets in over his head, the scriptwriter always gets him out of it. Wait, so this guy appreciates movies on only the level of, I know eventually

the guy that was writing this is going to figure out how to get out of it. Five stars. I appreciate this for its dramatic challenges and its narrative flow. And finally, this one. I'm a sucker for 80s movies and James Bond. So naturally, I love this movie.

Sure, Roger Moore is old and the plot is mediocre and the acting is too but I don't care the stunts are cool the chicks are hot except for Grace Jones she is

too androgynous for any heterosexual man's taste and it's James Bond for God's sakes James Bond is just the best I don't see why so many people dislike this movie I really don't and I'm I the only one who likes this song by Duran Duran

The number one hit of its time? No one has ever mentioned it. It's definitely one of the movie's strong points. Anyway, it's cool movie, buy it. Cool movie, buy it. Wow, he really took off on Grace Jones there. Guys, I think we did... I love Grace Jones in this movie, actually.

I think she's very great. She's great in this movie. For her horse. I love that... She's great. I thought... And she sold all of the action she did. 100%.

For us, I feel like, fall. into a Brigitte Nielsen by Ling kind of scenario like a very funny like compelling like weird psych and there's something about her on screen where she's like a little dangerous

and she slaps herself and it's exciting I would almost her foreplay is violent why couldn't Mayday have just been the villain? No because no we can't do that A, Paul, she owns zero blimps. True.

True. How many blimps do you own? Oh, none. Oh, you can't be the villain, then. I have a safe. Do you have a blimp? No, I'm sorry. Do you guys recommend watching this?

You got my blimp and you're safe. Hey, wait a minute. Do you guys recommend this movie? I'm standing up for a reason, but go ahead. Recommend it? I say no. I really But I you know

It's very long You could watch some of the scenes If you wanted Yeah I just wouldn't watch them in any sort of an order But I wouldn't watch the whole movie is what I'm saying It's yeah Like especially you can fast forward Anything with horses in it

Because it's not relevant to the rest of the movie Whatsoever You could start watching the movie And then skip the entire Yeah the entire horse auction is Completely unnecessary Yep, and it's very long. I would say watch it over and over and over.

I recommend this movie with every drop of blood that pumps through my heart. If you have a loved one, hold them close, turn down the lights, cuddle up on your couch or Devon, put on the movie, preferably Blu-ray. Don't stream it because the compression rates won't do it justice. Turn off your phones. No second screen? No second screen? This is a one-screen experience.

going to do like an Oculus Rift, just virtual reality thing. Where you feel like you're falling off the Golden Gate Bridge. You know, in fact... Which would be preferable to watching the movie. No. Get one of those little things you put on your iPhone that projects a movie on the ceiling and just lie back in bed

on a bare skin rug on the bed. Just... Eating caviar by the handful. Yeah, but you're also in a bath. Hang on. You just thought they get a Blu-ray of it, and now you're saying projected off your phone? Well, I just want you to get the Blu-ray to support it financially, but don't watch that.

Just projected on the ceiling. You're in a big bed. You're in a fuck ship, and you just, you're going to town. Yeah. Getting these ladies on my fuck serve. All right, well, thank you, the men of James Bonding. Very excited for our costover episode. Very, very exciting.

Thank you so much for listening to our first ever crossover episode. Give it up to Matt Myra. Give it up to Matt Goreley. all those amazing guys. Just some things to plug. We have a Twitter at HDTGM. You can always find all the up-to-date info there. If you thought we missed anything, and I know that we did,

all you have to do is simply go to our Earwolf board. Just go to Earwolf, go to the forum, and leave a comment, a correction and omission, and we'll read that on the mini episode. That's how much fun it is. This is an interactive podcast. I also want to give a big, huge shout-out. to Avril Halley, who pulls all of our clips, she went deep to get some great clips in this episode.

Also, Nate Kylie, our researcher, although he could not best Matt and Matt. Those guys knew a lot of shit. And you can follow me on Twitter. You can follow June on Twitter. Follow us on Instagram as well. You can do whatever you want and make sure you check out. Frank Pierre presents the Pierre Resort and Casino Hotel on YouTube, my new adult swim infomercial. And also, if you're feeling like, I want more Paul Shear and more.

podcast in my life, then check out the Sylvester Salome podcast over there on the Wolf Pop, which I really love, the Wolf Pop, doing good stuff. All right. That is all for us right now. I want to give a thanks to July Diaz, who recorded the episode, Leanna Waldron, who does all of our artwork. Everybody over at Earwolf, thank you so much, and we'll see you next time. This has been an Earwolf media production. Executive producers, Jeff Ulrich and Scott Ackerman. For more information, visit Earwolf.com. Earwolf Radio. Boom.com The wolf dead.

Hey, this is Arnie Neckamp from the Improft Fantasy Podcast. Hello from the Magic Tavern. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical land of food, and I started a podcast. Season three has just begun with a brand new adventure to defeat the Dark Lord. If you're a new listener or you've fallen behind season three is a great jumping on point.

And we've got great guests like Justin Macon. I sat like a fancy college professor. Fake Nats. Rachel Bloom. You all see my collection of men, corpses, and one woman. Felicia Day and Colton Dunn. You've seen me have intercourse with a variety of species. It's a bummer.

Andy Daly. You have the members of Genesis listed, but Phil Collins has crossed out and then circledly crossed out again. Yes, I have killed Phil Collins twice. Thomas Middletch. Jesus, I mean, Jarzos. Ruler of the eighth. And that's just the beginning. Season 3, a hello from the magic tavern, is out now.

Listen in Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.