James Bonding - Best and Worst of Bond Live

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

It's James Bonding LIVE from LA Podfest! Larry Miller and Nick Wiger join the Matts to go over the best and the worst of the James Bond movies! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Now entering nerdist.com. Unlock it, I'm lock it. Play. No, play. Bad end. Matt and. Mad and. Mad.

Myra. Gourley. Goralie. Man. James Bonding podcast. It's the James Bonding podcast. It's the James Bonding podcast. It's the James Bonding podcast.

It's the James Bonding podcast. It's the James Bonding podcast with Madgey. Matthews Gourley and Myrae in front of people. Matthews Gourley and my raw podcast of James Bond. Matthews Gourley and my Rah podcast of James Bond.

James Bond, Big Podcast. James Bond, Big Podcast. James Bond, Big Podcast. James Bond, Big Podcast. Matt and, Matt and, James Bond and Podcast. There it is. Hello and welcome, everyone.

everybody. Thank you to the Los Angeles podcasting festival for having us out here. Stamps.com slash WTF for all your needs. Bonobos, Warby Parker, you get some glasses, you get five. Just use the code how. And you'll get 10% of Squarespace or something.

Matt Myra, how are you? Great, Matt Gourley. It's good to be here with you for a live podcast where you're not shooting a Volkswagen commercial. Okay, all right. Take it easy. But seriously, the JETA TDI Clean Diesel is a great ride if you want to check it out. It's good to actually do a live podcast slash also do a podcast of this. Yeah.

Hello, listeners. Thanks for getting to unsubscribe. I mean, it's been a while. It was 2011 was the last one, I think. Yeah, yeah, thereabouts. We actually, it was the release of Sky Falls the last time we did a podcast. Oh, my God. That's what started this whole thing, Matt.

We have a long, rich history together. It's good that we perpetuate it because we don't want this to be over. Guys, I just want the people here get to see the video portion of this. So when I'm playing clips, I'm actually playing video. So you'll get to see all the dumb things I see. Do you know what's happening in that still?

No, I'm trying to figure out. Someone's bursting through something. Is this tomorrow never dies? It better not be. Nope. It is octopuses. Oh, octopusy. It says it right there.

I have a master's degree. Well, we'd like to bring out our guests. One of our guests can only stay for short while, so we're going to bring the both out right now. Please welcome to James Bonding. Nick Wager and Mr. Larry Miller, everybody. There's Nick. There's Larry. Let's move our box.

Put this over here. Later, we'll have a little Christmas presents section. Let's not forget. Welcome to the James Bond podcast. Nick, you're not. a huge fan, but I'm going to skip right over you and go to Larry. Larry,

I hear through the grapevine that you enjoy James Bond as much as we do, is that correct? You know how much? How much? That song, you just did it, the theme song? We were just backstage. Couldn't see, I think, maybe

the coolest song in history. Hey! Thank you, Larry. Thank you very much. Paul and Storm made that. teasing. I'm saying that I heard it and I thought, that's great. Thank you for being here.

We like to, what we do and we have a guest is we like to talk about their first experience with James Bond. Your formative experience. What was it? Where were you? Did you see a movie in the theater? If so, which one? Go. Lucky there was a go in there. Oh, I'm awake now.

You know, what? There's, I think it needs to be said in general about James Bond. And the reason that song is cool. And the reason we all love the whole world of James Bond is something we don't see anymore, even as much as I respect Daniel Craig and all the folks doing these things, I think the basic place they started is so cool to show him. And, you know, Yes, I mean, Sean Connery, just to start, that he's, the first scene, as we all knew, would be a giant action scene that built to a giant action scene. He's either in bed with a Russian agent, or he's doing something, and he gets out, but not in a superhuman way, but in a James Bonn way, in a Sean Connery way, that he just gets himself, he can beat up anyone. and he starts on the ski slope

and then he jumps off the slope and he has a parachute that turns into the British flag. Or was it a flag that turned into a parachute? We'll never know. Maybe you're right. But you know what the truth is? I always thought that was so fabulous. I remember as a kid saying,

look at that, the British flag. And even I would start asking myself, well, I have no contact with the British flag. I know. I'm not English. I don't work for any. secret society. Not that I can tell you.

But I mean, really, I thought, look how cool that is, the British flag. Why? I don't know. I just know that it is. And then when he successfully completes that action scene, which is a big action scene, but not a crazy action scene. Again, he may kill a lot of people.

There's no other way to say that, I guess. And there's nothing wrong with that. But remember when he's killing, he's licensed. That's right. Yeah, he is, but also it's, it makes you believe

and makes you think, it is okay that he kills them because you don't really see them or know them, and it just feels all right. You're not sure if one of the guys he killed was supposed to bring dinner home that night. Exactly the point, though.

They don't have any Oh, now you've just wrecked it all for me. Oh, my God. But so the point is that every single thing that occurs to me in the structure of those movies works. I don't need him to be saved by anyone. I don't like that. I like that James Bond could always save himself.

He could always beat up the two or seven guys. And not, again, with some devices from another planet. He could always do it. He didn't have to be saved by, the Russian agent who he was just in bed with anyway. Or the new British age, I'm just saying, you know what I mean. He was in bed with a lot of agents. What's that?

He was in bed with a lot of agents. That's what we're saying. Yeah, there's that too. But I guess I like the resiliency. I like the foundation of that. Is there part of it the formula for you, just that you know you're going to get that every time? Yes, formula makes it sound a little contrived or a little crap. Sure. But yes, there's a formula to it, and I like that.

I like knowing that I'll be leaving the theater feeling a good deed was done, and that this guy is out there protecting me and everyone. Is he? Who knows? Who cares? Well, Larry, I do know. He's not. What?

But you know what? Again, you know what? You don't know that? Because the truth is, it's so much. fun. Dr. Noe, I suppose, was my first movie. I think that was their first movie. Yeah, absolutely. And I'm telling you there's so much great acting in the world, but if you

can ever beat that scene, he's the first time, he sits down at the, not Baccarat. It is, exactly. No, it is Baccarat. And he's sitting in and he's just... I can pull it up, guys. I have so, I have stolen every James Bond movie. I was just going to say, thank God you're doing that. Yeah, I'm afraid of what we're going to see. I like how all these mentions of Dr. No are just in here.

Bloggers love these baby sale looks. The first time he says with a cigarette in his mouth, you haven't seen his face yet, and the woman across the table, the countess, it's always cool that way. Sylvia Trench. Sylvia Trench. The first Bond girl, and the last one for me to catch,

the double entendre of her name. I didn't till just now, right? It happened to us the same way. We've gone years and then just, what was it, four months ago? Yeah, no, when we did our first podcast, it was 17 years ago. 17 years ago.

But remember something, he was the first time, he, or anyone, of course, he was the first James Bond, you haven't seen him yet, and she says she's looking at him, and she's obviously intrigued, and says more or less, who are you, to which you hear

now you cut to Connery for the first time, and you hear him say, with a cigarette in the mouth that he's about to light, those three words, Bond, James Bond. And I really mean it that if you can be cooler than that, I don't think you can.

No, it can't be done. Let's watch that, and then... Sweevi. Say Svi. If anyone could explain Bacra to me. Please. Please. Oh.

Look at that. So classy, guys. We don't see that anymore. See how she looks at them, though? Yeah. And plus you get the first Alibon. I need that.

I admire your courage, Miss. Trench. Sylvia Trench. I admire your luck. Mr. Bond. James Bond. Mr. Bond.

I suppose I was not said to me. Right? Are you kidding? Very nice. Nick. You know, I know Matt teed me up is not a fan. But after Larry's impassioned monologue, I think... James Bond is my favorite character in the history of the cinema.

That was incredible. No, I mean, I wanted... So I'm not a pariah in front of this crowd. It's not that I'm not a fan of James Bond. It's just that I don't have a depth of knowledge about the subject. It's like... I'm like if this was a Star Wars panel... this was a Star Wars podcast.

I'm like the guy who's seen episode two and like the Christmas special. I just don't have a... I don't know a lot about it. You've somehow seen the Christmas special? Yeah, yeah. You watched Attack of the Clones and said, let me check out the Christmas special?

You know why I say that is one of the only James Bond movies I've seen is the original casino royale with Peter Selle. Whoa! A weird like spoof movie where cowboys run into a casino at some point. Yes. Did you like grow up in a house with like a Bazaaro TV that would only play certain things and you had like a strange relative that lived in

the attic, they would go, tonight we only watch this alternate version of things. Yeah, yeah, it was one of those weird kids that had like you know that weird kid who didn't have a TV but just played piano? That was like that kid from elementary school. No, I was actually exposed

to a lot of pop culture and my formative James Bond experience was which was the Timothy Dalton one where a dude gets implosion in like a pressure test. Let's speak no more. Let's just pull that right up over here because I stole them all. I've also paid for them, so don't worry about it.

While you're finding that, we were going to pass out bingo cards to see if we actually, in conversation, name every Bond movie title in here. So we've got Dr. No and License to Kill are the only two we've named checks so far, right? I just love the pastels in Licensed to Kill. Now, Larry, am I right to assume that your favorite James Bond is Sean Conner? But you have to Not exactly because you have to define favorite I think the others are great

I think you get to know them I like Roger Moore far more than I used to You're talking to two Roger Moore fans yeah I mean now I can watch that on a James Bond weekend Sure which seems like every weekend

By the way Yeah and should be But I'm sorry you know you have seen more than you think you do know more than you think you know because I, without harping on it, if you can look at Connery do that, we're just rolling the eyes up like that

and looking and saying that, James Bond, to me that's just in the world of acting. Sure, there are great hamlets, but we've seen that. But I mean, oh God, I want that on a T-shirt.

Sure, they're a great hand with on the back and says, but we've seen that. But we haven't seen enough. I can see again and again just that look, because to act it that way, to shoot it that way, to write it so that you haven't seen his face until he speaks. To me, that's such the essence of saying, holy mackerel, who could do that and the way he looks and speaks and carries himself in that moment? It's not even acting like an agent. it's like a panther. It's like something really, really jungle-like.

You know the only other instance of that I can think of and it was Spielberg who wanted to direct a Bond film and then Lucas said, no, I got something better. And they did Raiders the Lost Ark. And the whole beginning of that opening sequence, they deliberately don't show his face until a small action reveal and then it comes into the light.

And I'm sure it's a direct homage to that probably. Of course it is. Okay, there it's confirmed. Yeah. But Nick, as you were saying, I just wanted to play a little bit of this guy's head blowing up for you. Continuing the long tradition of people blowing up, like rubber balloons. Pressure's going up, guys. We're going to have a lot of fun in a second.

I forgot about that guy knows. Like, they've done this before. Now, when I look to you on the right, get the axe. I just love this down. Nick, is that how you remember it? Yeah, let me... You just finished your piano practice. I wanted to dispensify. that I was too young to have seen this.

I saw this the same age I had seen Turner and Hooch, and the dog dying at Turner and the Hooch, made me cry, and I had to sleep in my mom's bed. So I was like, this was just like another traumatic cinema experience for me was seeing this guy's head explode. It would like my nightmares. So in your mind, in your young mind, outside your doors of your home was just dogs dying

and people's heads getting blown up. And also the It's a Cookbook episode of The Twilight Zone. Oh, jeez. What was wrong with electric company or Sesame Street? You know, I don't know. I mean, like, I wasn't, like, a toddler. My parents weren't that irresponsible. But I was, like, in elementary school.

I was, like, a little too young to process this. And that's, like, that's a pretty vile image. Like, that's crazy. You're in fourth grade, and they sit you down, and we think it's time you watched license to kill. We want you to see this. I think while we're talking about people's, people blowing up, I'm going to pull up live and let die. And show off Cananga blowing up.

Why do they blow up two people? Rubber people. You've got 24 movies, and you're thinking, yeah, out of two of those, we inflate people. We're due to the point of explosion. Bond 24 is due for a person inflating. So have you seen, Nick, have you seen the Daniel Craig movies? They're recent. They're in theaters.

Yeah, I've seen the new Casino Royale, and I've seen Skyfall. I miss the middle one. Well, you know what? You're not wrong. Okay. You're not wrong. I mean, if you had to do it one way, that would be the way to do it. Yeah.

I also say, if you give Quantum Solz a chance and you have four and a half hours, watch it back to back with Casino Royale. Okay. But if you have four and a half hours, what's wrong with you? Where are you getting four and a half hours of time from? Canang is going to blow up here in a second. Now, Larry, where do you fall on the Daniel Craig situation? Do you like what he's doing with it?

Do you... I like him a lot because also, remember, as you all so well know, he's a great actor, a fabulous athlete. He can do astonishing things. Sit-ups. He can do a lot of sit-ups. But really, he does a great job in movies that I think have been very watchable, and that's a compliment.

I mean, to say, all right, that's pretty good. It's a little outside the realm again of what I love. about Bonn. It's right up the middle. If it's Dr. No one, a Bond girl would come out. When Ursula Andrus walks out of the ocean, come on. I mean, how do you beat that? And the answer is you don't.

You can't. You just do it again. It's nuts. It's so good. And then she's got a knife on the hip. Why? Who cares? It's great.

But the same way. The bad guys get killed. Bond saves himself and I just get back to I imagine an adolescent Larry Miller just saying the same things to his parents I don't know why she's got a knife

but who cares by the way that would have been also my father because we were essentially the same and saying who knows why the knife is there it's good but I like

you might as well ask why are there flowers and rainbows I like the basics and I like the fact that I can trust the basics there's always a scene and then when the music would come

which is why I like you song so much where suddenly that pa pa pa pa and it's always a new star singing a song and they always had naked women in silhouette that worked

I don't I don't mean to be harping on this but you know what I mean if you saw that whether you're 10 or 20 or 50 or 80 you can still say holy mackerel Well, that's, she really is naked.

And on Blu-ray, you can see some nips. Seriously. Another vote against Blu-ray, because in those early Bond movies, when you saw a woman in the shower and she was naked, you saw it in the shower, but it was one of those marbled glasses, so you really can't see anything. But again, to know that she really is naked, to not see it and know it is huge.

Yeah. It's the same as the, like, Hitchcock's suspense rule. Like, your imagination does more for you. That's right. Kids, what we're saying is don't look for naked women. Look for clothed women. That you know we're naked at some point. Is that what we're saying?

I don't know. I watched aliens on Blu-ray. Sorry. You're exactly right. That's funny and fun, but that's exactly the truth anyway. When you do see a woman in the street, if you saw a woman in the street and she was next, naked as a joke with friends

as guys who might say boy I'd like to see her naked no you wouldn't because you don't know her if you get to know her if you want to get to know her she's perfectly clothed then at some point that's what builds in you to see her finally naked if you've earned it at any way

this is like you fight a boss at the end of a video game level yeah you know what let's watch cananga blow up because this is your vote for worst moment in the history of the Bond franchise? From a favorite movie of that.

What's happening to acting? You never see that. See? Is that not... That's fantastic. Bring up pigeon double-take now. We have a bit of an argument of the two worst moments. What was the logic behind that? Why did he blow up?

He swallowed a bullet that is intended to kill sharks by blowing up with like a gas. He sort of explained it. So I vote that that that's... That's the worst moment in Bond history. Yep. And Matt has chosen... I've chosen what I refer to as Pigeon Double Takeda. Because there's nothing else you could call it.

Now, I'll just mute it and we can continue talking. But what James Bond here, of course, has is what I think is one of the dumbest gadgets of the history of gadgetry. It's on my list. It's a motorized... What do they call those at the Venetian in Las Vegas? That's where I think they are. At the Venetian in Las Vegas, the gondola. He's stunned.

You're going to have a drunk person also stunned. The whole band gets stunned. And then he stuns the Animal Kingdom. That guy looks at the bottle. Right. Now, this part of okay. That! A pigeon!

A pigeon! Just did a triple take. I still think Kananga Balloon is worse because they were going for... I'm sorry. Let's just one more time around the bend here. Let's just take a look. Again, guys, watch the pigeon. Now everything's pigeons are flying.

That makes sense. A guy, you know, he'd do that, sure. Turning, great. That guy, where's my painting? And then all of a sudden, it was like they had to run the film backwards twice. Do you think on set they, like, had an animal trainer. It was like, no, I can get him to turn it.

It was like doing a thing with like some bird scene. Here's what I think, I think John Glenn, the director, it was probably pretty late. He was walking out the door, and he was like, you know, it would be funny if we could do a pigeon double take, and then this upstart young editor was like, I can make it happen, and that's what he presented him with. That's what I'm decided.

I know that's a rule of threes, but you've got the drunk guy and the painter, and they really think that's how they needed to cap it off. They've got enough comedy in there. Just one more time. Everybody, look again. It blinks! It blinks! Three times.

That, come on. Right? Nowadays, they'd use like a CGI pigeon if they're going to do that these days. And it would still look ridiculous. I think they wouldn't do that these days. I think someone along the line would be like, you want to spend how much to make a pigeon do a double take at a gondola? From my, you know, not having seen, which movie is this?

This is Moonraker. This is Moonraker. Like, I'm just surprised by the broad comedic elements, because that's like not a thing I know from the Daniel Craig Bond. Yes, and that is... This is the height of the comedic. This got like the drunk looking at his... bottle like, oh, you know.

And then the, yeah, the painting thing. This drunk shows up again in another movie. Three of them doing the same. Same bottle. Yeah. He just happens to be where James Bond is. But this is... So like three movies later, he still hasn't quit drinking.

No. He needs something else. He was like, you know, I saw... Well, he's seen some crazy shit. By the way, the Jaws from that movie, Richard Keel, Lake Ray.

From Moonraker, and just passed away a couple of weeks ago. and he was also in something you mentioned before in the Twilight Zone to serve man. That's right. So it's just interesting. And he was great as a great actor who was living alive with this disease that made him that tall and that angular.

But you know what? The fact that they had him going out with the little Swedish blonde and that they fall for each other, I would see that and have seen that many times. and think, that's so sweet. They fall in love with each other. Now, is that going to happen in real life again?

Who cares? It's like the knife on the hip to you. Everything's a knife on a hip. And by the way, I think, unless I'm wrong, the doctor's name in this was Holly Goodhead. That is absolutely correct. Holly Goodhead. Look at their, he's going to open the champagne bottle with his jaws.

Aw. You know what? To jaws, everyone. Are they just killing themselves right now? Richard Kiel, everybody, yes. your cue. But this, to what you're saying about the silly, funny elements, this sort of is what, when you think of

Roger Moore as James Bond, in my head at least, I think of silly James Bond. Okay. So I just want to school you a little bit on the different James Bond. Sure. Sean Connery, who I still think was the most like the book Bond, would you back me up on this, someone who's read the books? No, I think he's great, but I think Dalton and Craig are closer to the

Why do you say that? Because Timothy Dalton sucks? No, I like Timothy Dalton. I don't love him. Well, first of all, I don't know why you're yelling at me. Second of all. Yeah, the Fleming one, he's a lot more sociopathic. And Craig is like that. You know, the way Craig just throws cell phones

and women away and it just doesn't seem to care. Yeah. You know who's the least like it? Roger Moore. Yeah. You know who's the least enjoyed amongst the public, general public, is George Lazyzeby, who I think got stuck with that by being in one of the better James Bond movies.

I think Honor Majesty's Secret Service is, as we've sat on the podcast before, but I'm letting Larry know, Honor Majesty's Secret Service, we enjoy it quite a bit here. Did you like that one, or were you just like, me? Well, no kidding. I'd like to see it again now because I never really like. Let's roll the whole thing. I never really liked it.

Yeah. And I always felt bad for him too because he was a big model. He was a giant star in England in a certain commercial. I can't remember, you know, what was, I think a shaving commercial. And they thought, well, he'd be perfect for this. It didn't work out on a number of levels. But now, since you like it, I'd like to see it again. Yeah, and then now this is something that happens in this.

You don't see his face in the beginning because they're trying to conceal the fact that we forgot to pay Sean Connery enough money to be in this. Look at that chept clen, that cleft chin. But this, is it right after this where he says this never happened to the other fellow? Yeah. Wow. Hey guys.

Wait, are there James Bond fans here today? But this is right up there for one of my least favorite lines in the entire series of movies. So he's just replaced Sean Connery, Nick. I'm going to bring you into the world of us. Gotcha. And he's just replaced.

trying to get with Diana Rig, Tracy, and fights them off, fights off from villains, saves her from killing herself, and when we first see his face here, he has to let the audience know that he's not John Connery, in case they forgot. Good morning. My name's Bond. James Bond. Mr. Bonds. Don't move, Mr. Bond. How did that guy get there without him soon? Now get up. Put your hands behind your head.

I love that guy. That guy is the voice of like the guy in Jamaica on the boat. What's he going to do? How's he going to get out of this, right? Watch. He has a boat. Why we're all watching a movie. This is what we do on the podcast sometimes,

and it really bothers a lot of listeners, and now you're all watching with us, and I feel like you don't mind that. What? Oh my God. Look at the distance that guy comes. Did you see what he? James Bond just jumped.

from 40 feet from the shore to the water. This is like a water dance. There's something beautiful about this. I love that the, their emphasis on big, brassy sections whenever there's a tumble. Yeah. But the director, just like he told him, just go out there and tumble around and throw each other.

Have a good time. I can't do it right out. Let's just skip ahead. So wait, what was your least favorite line in there? Here it is, right here. She goes to the car, gets in it, he takes her shoes, because he's got a foot finish, I think. This never happened to the other fella. Then he looks at the camera.

Then he looks at the camera. That's the way, that's like the cold open of the movie? Yeah, yeah, sure is. This never happened to the other bond? Yeah. That's like if a Christian Bales Batman was like, Val Kilmer, nope. I'm not your daddy's, Clooney. I hope Ben Affleck steps up

I'm next Just starting a movie by just destroying Suspension of Disbelief, such a bizarre choice That's really weird Listen, forgive me I've got to go It is 430 Are you going on a secret mission?

In show business We're talking about this beforehand Whenever these used to happen on the Tonight Show With Johnny Carson, when he'd say to one of the guests Well, I know you've got to go now and before the next guest came on and when I was a kid I used to think oh he's got to go

and then when I started doing that show was lucky enough to get to do it I realized there's no go it's 525 on a Tuesday he's not going anywhere so where the hell are you going he's got to get down to the slossin cutoff the cutoff the cutoff his slosson

I'm going back home my wife and the kids are there and my nephew is flying in for some business tomorrow, but we're going to have dinner. He's coming over our house at 5.30, and now that gives me enough time to get my car and head home. Put in a James Bond movie, maybe? No.

I love podcasting. I love James Bond. I love being with you guys on your show. And you know what? I'm glad we met. Thank you. Thank you very much. I'll let me plug my show.

Please, please. Go ahead. This Week with Larry Miller is my podcast. We did our show in that room earlier, and I do love this stuff. So if you like it to, try my show this week with Larry Miller. And you know what, though? I'm glad you asked me on to this.

This is endless to talk about. Well, we would love to have you back. You should join us on the regular episode, because I'm a huge fan of your work, too, and waiting for Guffman is one of my favorite movies, and your opening scenes in there. I'm a teacher, and I show that every semester, and I feel like I have it down and you're brilliant in that.

$100,000 is the budget for the whole year. And that includes swimming. That's very sweet and thank you. I dig it too. Well, thanks. Thanks. Thank you, Larry Miller. Thank you, everybody.

Go listen to Larry Miller's podcast. Now, let's get to our list. And Nick, you can sort of just give us your perception and thoughts as we go through our list. Sure. Guys, we made our top five and worst five lists. of many varieties of things for the entire James Bond franchise. And the first one I have on here is Henschman.

And because we just played this clip of Jaws, I figured why not talk about Hensman? Henshman was the most difficult for me to winnow down, and I had a real hard time with it, so I got a few honorable mentions. Let me ask you, off the top, Matt Gourley, what was your number five? Let's start at the bottom of best.

We want to go best or worse first? What would you rather hear first? Best. Okay. Well, I just realized I have six. First of all, my... This was seriously, this was the toughest one for me. And Zinia Anatop was my honorable mention. You're wrong, but okay.

And Rosa Kleb was in there, but then we had to discuss it at lunch that maybe she's a villain. I think you're right. Yeah, I think Rosa Kleb's the villain in the movie, but that's okay. I've got to do some thinking right now. Well, I'll tell you, I can tell you right now. Number five for me is Red Grant. Oh, interesting. Robert Shaw, in from Russia with love.

Hot off the heels in my youth of being the guy in Jaws, not in chronological order, of course, but I was like, holy shit, he doesn't talk like that in real life. And then now what I love about, I love sort of like the idea of in from Russia with love. That's where we sort of see for the first time. someone who I feel like is bonds equal.

Yes. I've been keeping tabs on you. I've been your guardian angel. Saved your life at the gypsy camp. Oh yes. I am much obliged. We were keeping you alive until you could get us the lector. So you had me deliver it on a plate.

That's brilliant. Go on and fascinated. Now that we've got it. you and the guard expendable between the head and trieste. He's awesome. He's great. You'll get no argument for me, in fact. He's like you'll hear that name in a little bit.

Okay. Number five for you? It's a tie. Who is it? Odd job and knick-knack. You're tying? Odd job and knick-knack? Yes.

I am... Oh, God. Don't worry. I have it in my head. Don't worry about it. He's already cracked at the corner. I already cracked it. And on the way here, broke the taillight of his girlfriends of Volvo.

Great. Now she'll hear this. She doesn't listen. I was going to get it. She doesn't listen. We were driving, and my car was right there, and I go, do you need me to move my car?

Absolutely not. It was trying to get a Volvo out of the way of two other volvos. And right, the second I said, no, I got plenty of room. Crack, shattered her tail light,

left tail light. Sorry. Fept bad. Yeah. All right. So I had odd job and knick-knack also. Right in that order. Oh, really?

Yes. Okay, but mine are tied. That's just my number five. You can't do that. Now, I know who odd job is. Who's Nicknack? He's a her... Who is Nicknack?

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Are we? Are we... Are they in the same movie? Is that where they're a duo? No. I just like them both, and I didn't know how...

I felt... Here's the honest truth. I felt like I had to have odd job on there, I think I like knick-knack a little better. Sure, sure, sure. If we're in among friends, and I feel like this is a safe environment,

and I could admit that, I think it's blasphemous not to put awjub on there, but he really just kind of grunts. I just have the man with the golden gun on book. Why do I not have it on... He's heard by Villages. Put it up there. Put the PDF up there.

Well, I'll read through it. Okay. You take a part. I want you to be Bond's inner monologue. I'll be when he speaks. But yeah, Nick Nek is the right-hand man of Skarmanga in the man with the Golden Gun. He's a little guy.

He's a little adorable man. I know the actors. He fetches Tabasco. Yeah. The first thing you hear, the first thing you hear Skarmanga say is he's sitting on the beach and he's yelling to Nicknack and he just yells, Nick Nek! Y'nick!

What do I'm here? That's our introduction to our villains. Does that get called back? No, no. Okay. No need. Just a call for Tabasco. So, number one, on my list.

How are you already to number one? Because I didn't give Nick. Oh, I skipped number two. Wait. Oh, gee. Number two. I haven't even done number four yet. Because you're putting two people in the same line.

Go. Okay. Jaws is my number four. Richard Kiel. Richard Kiel, we just saw Jaws. of course, you know what Jaws does before he says anything, right? Well, he's like a big, I know he's a big guy with a metal mouth.

Yeah, boom. That's how you know he's a great henchman. I have to implore you to listen to this BBC special that just came out called Reunion and John Glenn and Roger Moore and Ecclind and Richard Keel's on there. And there are all these bond questions and they finally get to Richard Keel and they go, now, Mr. Keel, what, did you ever do any of your own stunts

or anything like that? And he just goes, well, I had a friend and he was a bartender. and what he would do is fill a shot glass all the way full of scotch. And then I found that praying helped me, and I drank a lot, and that's great because we have a Christian bond. And that was his answer. And I think that's the last public thing Richard Kiel ever did. Oh, boy.

My number two, so I've got Red Grant, Odd Job, Nick Mack. Let me catch up and do number three. Mr. Winton, Mr. Kidd. Oh, I love those guys. That's my number two. Okay. Mr. Witton, Mr. Kidd. All right.

Mr. Kidd, who I had pulled up a clip of them earlier, and I will show you right now what makes them great. Ready, Nick? I love that. I'm like showing, this is how we show Nick what James Bond is. That's Crispin Glover's dad. It is. Really?

Yeah. Dr. Tynan? Good evening. Who are you? And where's Joe? Joe couldn't make it tonight. I'm Mr. Wind. This is Mr. Kid.

Oh, I see. Take your time. Take your time, scene. And music. Everything, just take your time. I like that they have to make up this whole dentistry thing to get him. No one is around. I haven't had him out yet.

Would you mind having to look, doctor? Of course. I'm not going to hurt you. Just open. No, no, no. Open line. That's some acting right there. So these two are lovers.

Wow. That's awesome. They are part-time lovers and full-time fiends. What a confusing ruse. They're in a desert, and he asks him to, he happens to be a desert? Well, I think what's worth is seeing their comeuppance for you, Nick. This is the very end of the movie. Sean Connery has, of course, returned after getting a million dollars.

Okay. That's Tiffany Case. Happy selection, if I may say. I'll be the judge of that. That's rather potent. Not the cork. You're aftershave. strong enough to bury anything

he wears the after shave around his neck did you notice that yes but the wine is quite excellent although for such a grand meal I had rather expected a claret of course unfortunately our cellar is rather poorly stocked with Clarence

Mouton Rothschild is a claret Boom James Bond finds out people by wine choice this is the best here we go now that's not a pie that's a bomb as we see he's gay so he likes that is what they're saying

like he has to like that it's a freak it's one of my favorite bond movies oh god i just are you got to go home watch some of these that was spectacular that was so awesome like the idea that he would need if he's going to stab him with skewers just stab him don't light him on fire and then walk over slowly because you're trying to get your bearings on a boat. They're like performance art killers where it has to have a statement. I'd feel like, I'd feel very awkward if I had to notify his next of kin how he died. You know, he was emulated, holding some flaming skewers he was trying to use to kill a secret agent. He got flipped off a boat.

The whole ordeal. They blew up. So that was my, that was my number two. That was my number two. My number two is one of my favorites from the Bond series, May Day, from A View to a Kill. Grace Jones. Oh, come on. How do you not love her and are not in love with her?

You know what I mean? Well, there's a few ways. I'm listening. First of all, that flat top, not that appealing to me. Oh, you could land a jet on that. You could land a jet on that flat top. Are you familiar with May Day? I think, wait, is this the one with, I haven't seen this movie,

but this is the one with, yes, with Wawkin, right? Walkin's the bad guy. Let's just see half a second of that. About 12, 26 to 30. Roger Moore does the worst kiss in the world. I'm trying to remember where this is. It's before that when he first gets to the horse house. You said horse house, right?

Yes. Okay. Just want to be clear so we know what's happening. So, May Day is your number two. And your number one is whom? Red Grant. Ah, my number five is your number one. Here you go.

Oh, there it is. Yeah. Get ready, everybody. Cover your laps. You're about to get excited. Hey, day, where have you been? I've been waiting for you. That's not even a flat top.

That's like an Ocean Pacific T-shirt wave on her hair. Look at that. Oh, my God. I can't wait for the new Peter Pan. Oh, for God. Forget about it. Forget about it. Tractor beam.

Well, they could edit it. Look at his uncomfortable kiss. God help me if I ever kiss a woman like this. He wants to, like, kiss past her. Yeah. Guys, if you're at home listening to this, just go ahead and find that scene online. All right, worst henchman.

Excuse me. Worst henchman. My number five. tough one. It's hard to find, but my number five is the odd job guy in Skyfall. They're kind of making an homage to him. Patrice? No, no. No, the guy that he fights in the Komoto Dragon Pit. It just felt like an homage, but they didn't

really add anything. It wasn't horrible. But I was just looking for options, you know. My number four and five are a duo that appear in Diamonds or Forever. Oh, Bambi. And Thumper. Now, please, let's Let's just, I just, the audience has to see this, just to see.

Look at that pose, though. Come on. Now, we've seen some poor fighting, right, Nick? Sure, yeah. And some time wasting during a fight scene, right? Let's now enjoy this. Good morning. Bambi.

And I am Thumper. Is there something we can do for you? I can think of several things offhand, but at the moment I'm looking for Willard White. Oh, Willie. Why, he's right out there. And, uh, that's all there is to it. Not quite. First, we're going to have a ball. Oh, boy. I'm in.

Oh. All yours. What's happening? I love it. Ready? This is pointless. Hang on. Hang on.

Hang on. It gets more pointless as the fight goes on. What? There are a quicker ways to move across a room. She's diversionary tactics. Now they're just up there. He's confused too. He's like, what the fuck is happening?

Now, it's her, when she does the split, look back. That's when I quit. No, that's when I start right there. I'm in. And also, it shouldn't be called Bambia Thumbard. It should be, I'm gymnast and I'm actress, and one of us can't do what the other one. but together maybe you won't notice the blend

so yeah that's my answer that's four and five for me is bandy and thumper my fourth is basically his name from diamonds or forever I think it's Mr. Kill the guy that gets shot in the mouth with the laser am I right about that isn't his name Mr. Kiff? It's a name to Dak for yes that's right yeah that's the worst name in bond history

Mr. Kill come on let's get literal next on my list Milton Krest Oh. The guy whose head got blown up in that pressure chamber. I don't think of him as a henchman. I do. I think of him is just like a corollary batty. Just a mixed-up guy who probably had a good heart?

What was the context for Milton Crest, I'm learning his name? What was the contest for his head getting blown up? Bond had put all that money in there on his boat to make it look like to the drug kingpin that Crest was embezzling from him and trying to steal it from him. Yeah, he said that. Go ahead and finish yours out because my last three are related. Okay, number two is Raynard from The World is Not Enough. Really?

Yep, that is my number two. He's a henchman because Sophie Marceau is the villain in that movie, or if we're really honest, the movie is the villain in that movie. You think he's that bad? I think he's pretty good. He does a good job acting. You know what? We'll still be friends after this.

Don't worry about it. Yeah, we have very few bond disagreements. And my number one is Elvis. From Quantum of Solace. From Quantum of Solace. A man who does almost nothing. Yeah. I thought about that.

If you don't know who Elvis is, I don't even, oh, did that not want to download it all the way? I'm bad at stealing movies, guys. He's the one whose toupee falls off when at the party in Quantum where he falls down the stairs. And he has no lines that are memorable. He has no moments that are memorable. He has the one moment where he kind of smiles at someone and you realize he's maybe likes men. Yeah. So that's the only character.

That's why he's kind of on the top of my list is shitty. Because he has that one moment where he smiles kind of. Yeah. Like you just like that. It's airtight. I'm airtight over here. And it's barely a smell. He does this.

Now, let's hear it, Matt Goreley. Your worst henchmen. Three through one is the Aryan guy in, hold on. For your eyes only. For your eyes only. Oh, the guy who he identifies in the computer system? And then the Aryan guy in, you only live twice, and then the Aryan guy in Tomorrow Never Dies.

The big, tall, blonde henchman enforcers that are completely interchangeable. Yeah, absolutely. The Tomorrow Never Dies guy. There's one in living daylights, but he gets a little bit more character development. I like that guy. Neckruss. I believe he has a scene. Jodon Baker?

You can't say Joe Don Baker is the worst. No, I sure can. That's coming later. Oh, I know where you're going. Yeah. Where is the... Yeah, so this is who he's talking about. Maximum amount of pain,

whilst keeping the victim alive for as long as possible. Aligh. Look at that. He looks like the Reverend Ted, Ted Haggard. I'm hoping to break it. I would have thought watching your TV shows was torture enough. Drop the mic, James Bond. Now get a smile from this other agent.

Great. And then he just exhales. That guy got cast when they were like, all right, Dolf Lundgren said no. But we still need someone with the close set eyes of a badger. His death scene is kind of good. Here he is fighting.

Pulls a knife out of his chest, cuts his best off. T minus 10 seconds. We. And as far as I can tell from the missile taking off and killing him, it just looks like his foot would have gotten burned. That's all that would have happened. I don't know if James Bond knows how CPR works, but that's not it.

Oh, my foot! Oh, that's right. He made the whole book. Anyway, James saved. He's still making out with her down there. I love your face, Gourley. The worst Bond movie. I love... I love Tomorrow Never Dies. Have you seen Tomorrow Never Die? No.

Don't. What were you doing in 1997? Were you just at Titanic every weekend? I was. All right, let's move on to, how about gadgets? Gadgets, I got a problem with the gadgets. What's your problem? My list isn't fully complete.

But let's go. Okay. Best gadgets, I got to give honorable mention to the Aston Martin Vantage Volante from Living Daylights. Sure. And the rebreater from Thunderball, that little. That has to be like the best gadget. Well, it's not the best.

No, it's on top of my list. It says so on my list. I think you're reading it wrong. Because here's what makes the rebreather unique in the world of James Bond. I like it. You understand that. Yeah, I understand that you like it. But I'm just trying to make it understand how special and unique it is.

To you. To me. Okay. It's designed for a specific task that makes complete sense with where he's going. I'm with you on that. Which is many of my... Something that his shitty gadgets are not.

Yeah, we'll get to that. Okay, go ahead. Okay, my number five is a tie, but they're related. I'm listening. The crocodile submarine and octopusy and the Manta Ray costume in license to kill. So you don't like Bond escaping places

or sneaking into places dressed as seed dwellers? I don't mind it. I don't mind it. I don't mind it one bit. So I just want to show the scene in this terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible movie. What's next on your list while I'm doing that? It's a tie again, but they're related. The couch trap, the couch that sucks a person in,

in Q's laboratory, and the magnetic force-field levitating tea tray that cuts off the head of the mannequin in Q's little laboratory. Is that in license to kill? I don't remember. Yeah, I don't know. And those are your best gadgets? Oh, no, wait. I'm on worst.

Sorry. I was going to say, that didn't make any sense. My number four is the rocket cigarette from You Only Live Twice. Okay. All right. I'm on board with that. Yeah, I'd like some of that. Yep.

That'd be fun. Okay, how about you? Okay. So for best gadgets, so that was your number four best gadget? Okay, so coming up on that list, I have the Sonic, the only thing I like from this movie that we're watching right now that I have pulled up down the day, the Sonic Agitator Ring that would destroy a glass panel. Speaking of Die another day, I noticed this yesterday, this looks like the chandelier. It does. That is the deadliest piece of lighting I've ever seen.

I don't want to... Boy, thank God we're not in a city prone to earthquakes. How did he die? Impaled by a bunch of giant light bright pegs. Turn on the magic of colored light. All right. My number three is a tie, but they're related as well, in the body horror category of the Die Another Day fake,

I'm sorry, the Diamonds Are Forever fake fingerprint, and the third nipple. So any little piece of prosthetic body thing that you can put on. The fake fingerprint in... Diamonds are Forever. Oh, right. Now, how do you feel about the... fingerprint-scanning cell phone from

Tomorrow and Ever Dies? Shit. Okay. They'll never make a phone that can scan your fingerprints. iPhone 5. Not S. Okay, what's your number three? Which list are we on again?

Best gadgets. Okay. Number three on the best gadgets has to be the the mini-copter, which they call Little Ness. A little Nelly. Nelly. Yes.

All right. It was like a Nelly, but smaller. Yeah. You know, the rapper. Sure. My number two is the Aston Martin D.B.5 from Goldfinger. That's your number two? Yeah.

I can't wait to hear number one. I'll bet. Okay. Okay. Number two for me is it from Russia with Love suitcase. That's my number one. You got your D.B.5 in my suitcase. We mixed it up.

Microphone cheers. Guys, what's this special about? the suitcase. Oh, well, first of all, what do you need? It's in there. It's the first gadget, right? The first real gadget that James Bond comes across here. And I'm going to play, this is the first appearance of Q.

I'm going to go ahead and pull this up right. He goes on his car phone. Sylvia Trench is a trench. Yada, yada, yada. And... You know what I almost put on my list? The double quilted leather door. It's not really a gadget.

It is to me. So, let's see. One quick second here, Major Boothroid. Suppose when she meets me in the flesh. Oh, shit on Matt Myra. Guys, I got it right. Just see what you do.

Miss Money, Penny, ask the equipment officer to come in, please. So you're like, you've never seen this before. What's Q Branch? What's an equipment office? What is an equipment officer? This wall double open us now. Look at that door. Great door.

Oh, there's two of them. An ordinary black leather case with 20 rounds of ammunition here and here. Here and here. How does he get that many syllables? Now, if you take the top off, you'll find the ammunition inside. On the side here, flat throwing knife. Press that button there. Now she comes.

What? Inside the case, you'll find an AR-7 folding sniper's rifle. Not as in-25 caliber. with an infrared telescopic sight. Then if you pull out these straps, inside of 50 gold sovereigns, 25 in either side. Not really a gadget, but okay, Q.

Now, watch very carefully. An ordinary tin of talcum powder. Inside a tear gas cartridge. That goes in the case against the side here like that. It's magnetized, so it won't fall. Shut the case. Now, normally to open a case like that, you move the catches to the side.

If you do, the cartridge will explode in your face. Now, stop the cartridge exploding. Nice pause. Turn the catches horizontally, like that. Then open normally. Now you try it. Turn the catches like that. That's right.

And open ordinarily. You got it? Yes, I think so. Is that all, sir? Yes, thanks. And that's the first time we see a gadget. That's good. I don't get to be honest.

It seems like... I mean, the exploding in your face thing, like that booby trap is cool, but the rest of it seems like a... just a suitcase as it's normally used. Wait, you're saying I could normally store ammunition in a suitcase? Larry Miller does.

I could keep extra money in a suitcase. I don't like where you're going with this. You're saying... You're saying this box. I can put objects inside and carry with me. Boy, I really feel like Nick sort of ruined it for us. No, it's cool, it's cool, guys. It's great. Oh, boy.

And I'm just going to jump in to the worst gadgets, okay? And I'm just going to skip right to number one of my worst gadgets in James Bond history. And it is right here. This is my number two. Number two of worst? Okay. Now, let's, John Cleese was given the role of Q after. Desmond Llewellyn passed and only allowed to keep it for one movie.

Maybe you've been down here too long. The ultimate in British engineering. You must be joking. As I learned for my predecessor Bond, I never joke about my work. Aston Marlin, call it the vanquish. We call it the vanish. What the fuck? Adaptive cameras, tiny cameras on all sides.

Project the image they see onto a light-emitting polymer skin on the opposite side. You see, with a casual eye, it's as good as invisible. Plus all the usual refinement, ejecta, seat, torpedoes, target-seeking shotguns to shoot down mobile objects. Why don't you acquaint yourself the manuals? Be able to shoot through that in a couple of hours. Just took a few seconds, Q. Wish I could make you vanish.

We wish the same for this movie. As your complaint of that is that that's just wildly unrealistic. Is that the idea? Yeah. Whereas a suitcase that contains things very realistic. I don't know if you're seeing our lists here. No, but I get it.

I understand from this perspective. Because, I mean, that is, that's amazing. That's a gadget. That's an amazing gadget. Oh, God. What was your number one? If that was your number two. Well, let me give you my honorable mention was the pocket

snap trap from Diamonds or Forever. Pocket snap trap, sure, yeah. Okay, when he puts his hands in his lapel. All right. Number five was the espresso maker from Live and Let Die. You can't count that as a gadget. M thinks it's a gadget. You cannot.

Number four, my list comes from my heart. That's not a gadget. That's like walking into Brookstone and saying I'm on a secret mission. Get me a coffee maker. That's a gadget. All right.

Number four, I already mentioned, was the couch trap, levitating tea tray. Number three is the gondola hovercraft. Sure. Number two is the invisible Aston Martin. And number one, the most reverse engineered gadget there is,

the inflatable, avalanche-proof, ski parka. That is like, here, we're giving you this in case you come across an avalanche. Oh, did you? Oh, we hadn't read the script. Number one on your list. Let's go, let's just see that happen right now

because, uh... Oh, God. Q, Q, Q, Q, Q, Q, Q, Q, Q. Noticing a strain of contempt for the Brosnan films. It seems to be a thing. And I haven't even said it, yeah. I have a real daddy issues with the Brosnan films. It, it turns out

Pierce Brosnan films. movies weren't great. Not his fault. Okay, maybe a little bit his fault. He obviously farted like a bagpipe. For the listener, I want them to think that's what's happening. Pretty sweet, right, Nick? I suppose we all have to pay the piper sometime. Right, cue? Oh, pipe down,

007. Is it something I said? No. I've aged. Remember when I gave you that suitcase? Something you've destroyed. My fishing boat. For my retirement? And six beverage cup holders. All in all, rather stocked. Fully loaded, I think, is the term. All the Brosman Q sequences seem like Super Bowl commercials,

where they're here to do what I tell you. Now, go and put on the coat and demonstrate it to do a Wesse. Now, here's the most reverse engineered thing in the history of all of James Bond movies. The right arm goes in the right sleeve, thus, and the left arm in the left sleeve. Thus, now, note closely please, pockets, poppers, and zipper. Take the lower part of the zipper and insert it into the appropriate tag. Well suited for the job. Audible groans from the audience.

If you need to know one that would come in handy, it's here when this avalanche happens. All right, we got to blaze through these if we want to do some questions. Okay, let's do cold opens, okay? Let's just go, let's just jump up to the top. Let's just, because we're going to, well, you'll hear it on our next real episode, our full lists, but I want to speed it along for the audience so we can get to some questions and also get to songs. Okay. Number one, worst cold open.

The world is not enough. We're watching it right now. The boat sequence? Oh, that's pretty bad. Because it is a 22-minute cold open. I'm not kidding. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's 14 minutes, but that's too much. I might have to be with you on that.

That's how that ends. I may have to be with you on that. And what's yours? What was yours? I had a Thunderball, but that can't be right. I must have not organized it. No, it can be. Thunderball's pretty terrible.

It is, but I think it's, for your eyes only is pretty bad. The stunts are really cool, but the whole Blowfeld voice thing is weird. Yep. All right. Best one, or should we go through those five? Let's do the five. And I'm going to just just ram run out. You Only Live Twice is pretty cool because you leave with a twist.

Is he dead? Okay. Get this. Golden Eye. I got a Brosnah movie on there. Whoa. I think that opening sequence. Because of the jumping off of the dam really gets you going?

Just the whole thing. It's a good opening sequence. It is. It is. Okay. Then Octopussy. Oh, forget about it. And second is Casino Royale, the new one.

And then The Spy Who Love Me with the big Union Jack parachute. Wow. This is my little one right here in the Goldfinger Because it ends with this I still love you Positively shocking Come on They laughed at his line

They didn't groan at it That's the difference That's right That's the big difference That's what makes James Bond good at things It's a nerd pun It's very Just like he deserved that

Yeah shocking It's not an A to D It's like A to B okay, electricity, shocking, great. We got it. All right. Songs, or do you want to do girls? Songs, let's go, let's go songs.

Worst song. Die another day. You are 100% correct. Yeah. It's not even a song, it's like a tone poem. It is... It is... It is... That is even doing poem

a disservice. If you're not familiar, Nick No, I know this is a Madonna one, right? Yeah. I'm gonna wake up

yes and no I'm gonna kiss Let's just give it a minute to breathe I'm gonna keep This secret I'm gonna She's not singing yet This also has the part

Where in the bridge of the song She goes Sigmund Freud Oh that's right And something about like What's your ego? What is it? Yeah, it's horrible. This is like a song they blasted 180 decibels to break Gitmo detainees.

Or to bring down a dam. This is actually they had started with this and then settled on waterboarding, being nicer. You know what? Let's just do this. But I agree with you. But my number two worst song, so the just under this is not as bad, but I think bad, all time high. That is a smooth, romance, soft rock song that'll just, you know, find yourself a lady flat chop and just get in there. All-time high, for those of you not familiar, for some reason is this. I'm in so strong and so deep.

You're just on a bean bag. You just open a tab and you pour a little. Oh, like you take to the beach and a pop-top thing, and you pour that in there, and maybe you're smoking a Virginia slim, and then just Sheila comes over, you know? And you're just rolling around in front of the fireplace, and that was the whole weekend.

That's this song. Are you there with me now? No. No? So agree to disagree, or just plain disagree? All right, let's jump to Bond Girls. I just want to... Wait, we even.

even done best song. Oh my God. I want to tell you my number two worst was one of your favorites. Your number two worst is Tomorrow Never Dies? Yeah. Oh, sorry, buddy. Don't be a dick. My number two is another way to die from Cuano of Salas. As worst? As number two worst, yeah. Yeah, it sounds like that.

Let's just do you want to jump up? Yeah, all right. Songs, here you go. My number five, man with the golden gun. Forget about it. Number four. That's my number four. Really? Yeah. Number four is you know my name for Casino Royale. That's a little polarizing. That is not anywhere near this list. I like it.

I like what it does. I like its style. It's got moxie. Okay. Number three, Goldfinger. Can't beat it. It's a classic. Number three is also Goldfiger on my list.

Number two, Honor Majesty Secret Service. It's an instrumental. Not on my list. Not on your list? Nope. You just love Satan. Okay.

And number one, when I really thought about it, James Bond fame. It has to be. Oh, you can't put that. on there. Okay, then I'm going to move everything up one and say my number five is live and let die. So your number one is automatic secret service.

This is, my number five is a view to a kill. Yeah, clapping. In my top ten, bro. So good. Number four, Mayor of the Goldegger, then number two is live and let die. And my number one, which did not pop up

Wait, let me guess. On your top five. All time high by Rita Coolidge. Is it tomorrow, the world is not enough? No. It's the best song ever written for James Bond movie, which is the spy who love me. It's a goodie. Guys, it's nobody does it better by Carly Simon.

It's great. Nobody does it better. I love it too. Don't feel it. I'm not going to because they can't do it better. Nobody does it. This is legitimately one of my favorite songs. I love this song so much.

It's so great. I'd say not even in the context of James Bond, just as a song in general. Right there. Oh, I'm in it. It's like they should just be the default song for in-memorium montages. Yes.

So, it's like, yeah. Oh, let's take a look at some of the folks we lost this year. Richard. Oh, Ken Adam. Marvin Hamlish Rest in peace Marvin He'd recently died Oh

Yeah Carley Simon We've missed you Come back to us William P. Cartridge Too young Oh gosh Chris Wood

Oh Richard Maybom The late great Richard Maybom This really does You can just say any name And it sounds like they died Albert R. Cubby Broccoli Oh

He was great I never forget Lewis Gilbert, everybody. Oh, he's a sweet. He's also mad. Gourley. What? But that's my number one.

I'm probably going to die with you driving me home in your Volvo. Gourley, I'm genuinely surprised that that wasn't even on your list. Yeah, I love it. I love it. Take something off that list. You had like the Chris Cornell song on there, right?

You had a Chris Cornell song on there. I won't be persecuted for my... loves and ideals. These are personal songs to me. Where does that happen? Right here? Yeah. I don't love it. See, this could be an in-memorium. So long, Bruce Moriarty.

I'm not even necessarily a Chris Cornell fan, but this... Oh, Gary Powell, you were great at cast. Just this whole movie. Just the fact that it's associated with this movie. See, I feel like you're letting that get in the way. I'm letting that lead the way. Like, I love Octopussy. Love it. Yeah. Eight vaginas.

That's what it means. Right? That's what it means? Oh, dear. Eight kitty cats. All right. Let's do bond villains. Go.

My worst are basically anyone from living daylight because they just don't really work. There's no, like, comeuppance for them at the end. Okay. Brad Whitaker and Georgie. Brad Whitaker, Joe Don Baker, Lake Great. But my number two. is Elliot Carver from Tomorrow Never Dies. He's my number one.

Get out of my face area. What do you mean? No, no, my number one worst. Oh, I thought you liked him. I do. But in retrospect of taking it apart and looking at all the villains, he's my least favorite villain of all the time.

Because his plan is so stupid. Yeah. The man just wants to charge a, just start a war so he can cover it with his news channel. It's the worst. His plan is to start World War III just to cover.

I've been saying this all podcast long. I don't care for this. Okay. All right, go. Top five villains. Number five. Ross Cananga. No, you're right.

Go ahead. All right. You're not going to like this one. Number four is a tie because they're kind of connected, but Elektra and Renard in the world is not enough. You're a stupid person. Okay. I think she's a good, strong character.

I like her character. I hate you right now. I just don't even know what to do with you. That's so, you're so... How would accept me for who I am? You're so wrong. Matt? Renard is he's suddenly acted.

He's the only thing in that movie worth a damn. Matt, no. Look at this. Look at her. She's not even good at acting. Yes, she is. And my families, it runs in my... First of all, she's got a language barrier.

She can even speak English. Yes, she can. She speaks the language of love. She's dumbing it down. All world will know my name. Look at those bangs. My grandfather's name, the glory of my people. Now put on Rita Coulage.

Watch this. an accident. All right. I disagree. Go ahead. Number three, Silva from Skyfall. He's your number three villain? That's what I just said.

Of all time. Okay, go ahead. Yeah, he's really good. Go ahead. I don't think it counts. Number two, Zorin, from a view to a kill. Jesus Christ. Yeah, and number one?

I'm sorry, I drove all this way to get judged. Number one, Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Well, that's kind of got to be... Oh, is that okay? Yeah. All right. Ready for me? Yeah.

So we agree with Cananga. Scaramanga. Yeah, all right. I love him because he just wants to kill James Bond. See how supportive I am even when I don't agree with you? Yeah. Yeah, okay. That was good.

That was a good one. Thank you. That's good. I appreciate your opinions. Goldfinger. Okay, yeah. That's right. I don't like this.

Blowfell. That's your number one? Yeah, I didn't have four. I only had four. Oh, okay. Well, there's a problem right there. I did my work. You didn't do your work.

Listen, we only have 15 minutes left. I want to add, the audience has questions. Okay, let's do the girls really quickly. No, okay. Give me your number one, girl. I'll tell you if you're right. Best Berlin. I'll tell you if you're right.

Best Berlin. You're right. You are. Okay, we agree again. Fesperlid, yep. Okay. You can clap. It's fine.

Okay, that's good. And your worst? Christmas Jones. That was my number two worst. You have Halliberry is the worst? Yeah. She didn't even make my list. I can't believe you're even here with me right now.

She was jinx, right? Yes. I remember, I think I don't know if I, maybe I'm imagining this, but I remember a rumor at the time that they were planning a jinx spin-off movie. Oh, they sure were. They sure were. You know why? Because they hated America.

She played an American spy guys. That's why I said that. Anyway, I can't even deal with that. But we'd like to, if any of the audience has a question, raise your hand. Matt Goreley and I can answer any question you have about us. You, sir. What's your name? Jordan? What's going on?

What publication are you from? Jordan has a question. Jordan, wait for the mic. The stage manager is running a microphone over so you can be heard on our audio podcast. Jordan. Hi. Go for it. I was going to ask you, so if Bond movies keep, if they have the habit of kind of copying whatever is hot at the time. So hot right now.

What would you predict gets copied in the next stage to want them? James Bond has a giant ass. No. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Or he has to, like, fight the Avengers. Or the Anaconda.

Yeah, no, I mean, right now, the big trend right now, as far as action movies are superhero movies. James Bond is already his own superhero. The thing I've been wanting to see for my entire life is Bruce Wayne and James Bond fighting. Oh, yeah. Like, I would like to see Batman versus, you know, full arsenal. Batman's got his full arsenal, and James has Olive Q branch at his disposal. I want to see who wins the Does James Bond have the invisible car?

He might as well. Yeah, sure, he might as well. Visible car versus Batmobile is the showdown we're going to see. Oh, well, the Batmobile would win. Actually, I think Batman destroys James Bond. Probably, right? Yeah, I think so.

Let's not do it. My prediction for the future of the franchise is I'm guessing in the next movie, James Bond kills somebody, and then says, hashtag Yolo. He would say yolt Because you only live twice That's the answer to that question, Jordan

Anyone else have another question from the back Hello, yes Tell us your name Hello, I'm Mindy Hi Mindy Do you recommend reading any of the books And if so, which one should I start with? Oh, definitely

Casseter Royal, I think, is the best one to start with Yeah, yeah, that's the first one of the bunch I would, here's the order I would go in. I'd give you three right off the bat. I would say, read Casino Royale, then read Live and Let Die, and then I would go ahead and jump over to the book Thunderball, which isn't that bad, actually. Because you don't have to watch people underwater.

You can imagine it. That's right. Casino Royale, and the second book is Live and Let Die, and they're good to read back to back because Casino Royale is really strong, and then Live and Let Die is crazy racist and strange. some of his issues start to come out, Fleming's issues in that. And then, so they're kind of interesting to read back to back. And then I think Moon Raker's third, which I really like. It's nothing like the movie.

It's really simple. And It's a good book. And Diamonds of Forever is a really good one, too. It's nothing like the movie. That's a good song, too. Yeah. Damn it. All right.

Thank you. Anyone else have a question? Yes, sir. You have a question, and you're wearing a similar jersey to the stage manager? Is it confusing me? I was just curious. I heard a story once. If you guys have addressed this before, forgive me.

About Quentin Tarantino wanted to do a Bond movie, but wanted to do it in a period style, like in the 60s, what would you guys think if that actually were to occur? A movie released in 2014, 15, 16, but in the 60s, a James Bond movie. I've said before that after Craig, I would love them to reboot it in the 60s because I don't know where you go from Daniel Craig at that point. Well, it started to get so, as we saw with all of Pierce Brosnan, it started to get so crazy that they had to go.

So hang on, because next is a spaceship. Oh, we've done that in Moonwrecker. But I think I would watch it. Here's how I feel about that. I would watch it, but I wouldn't want it to take the place of a Jay's Bond movie. You know what I mean? I would have a parallel J's Bond universe running at the same time. That's what I would do.

I don't want to hear that name anywhere near this. I want a clear shot of his soon. no flares. We have a question up in the front and then we'll pop back there, yes. Hi, do you know when your dead author's Ian Fuming episode is going to be available? I'm not sure. I imagine

it'll come out pretty soon. You may already know this, but I had my girlfriend's sister make a Terry cloth powder blue men's play suit like Bond wears a gold finger. And when she brought it over the day of the show, it was too small to fit a small child.

I couldn't even get in it without hunching over and just eviscerating my crotch. And so I didn't get to wear that, sadly. But it was a very fun show, and I imagine it'll come out pretty soon, I think. So, yeah, subscribe to dead authors on iTunes. And Ian Fleming is on the latest Super Ego podcast, too, if you check that out. And we had a question in the back, all the way in the back. I'd like to say back.

Oh, double the questions. There's a Terry Blue in case you want to know what that looks. like Terry Cloth is a running theme here in our podcast. There it is. Terry Cloth jumpsuit, Nick. Look at that. Get one. That's what people wear by the pool back then. Look, even he's where. Even the windows. It's everywhere.

Yes, sir. Hi, I was just wondering, because Bond seems to have a repeated theme every now and then. We just keep going back to the old stories. We've done Thunderball twice. We've done space lasers a couple of times. Is there any story that you're like, okay, we're due to do this again, and I would love to see them do it? Let's say it together. On Her Majesty's Secret Service. Yes, absolutely. I think that Jay's Bond needs to, in the modern day and age, fall in love, get married.

And deal with allergies. Yeah. I mean, kids are worried about vaccines. You don't want to do that. I don't know what the hell the problem is. It's all vaccines. He's a big anti-vactor. He's a big anti-vacist.

Jenny McCarthy plays Blofeld. Jenny McCarthy is Blofeld. You know who her henchman is? That Wahlberg character she just married. and yeah, no, I'd like to see that. I'd like to see James Bond get married and then have her get shot in the head right next to him at the wedding day. It's a dark, dark way to put it.

The next movie could be revenge, even though I just feel like that's Casino Royale and Connoissell us all over again. Yeah. But yeah, that's what we'd want to see. Honor Magic the Secret Service. And we have five minutes left, so let's go ahead and close it out with our closing thoughts. Nick Weiger, friend to the franchise now.

I feel like we've turned you from a casual James Bond watcher to a full James Bond appreciator. I notice you're wearing powder blue as well. Yeah, I am, yeah, there we go. Well done. Yeah, no, the advocacy all around for the Bond franchise, it's contagious. I mean, it seems, I don't know, everything you've shown is great. I've seen a few of the films, but this seems like a sort of thing of,

would you recommend to someone like me who's kind of a Bond neophyte? Is it go back to the beginning and then just, watch them all in order? Is that the ideal? We just watch it down. We just commit, you know, however long at 50 hours to watching 22 films. You know what? It's going to be a fun two and a half days, because I assume that's when you're doing

it. You're doing it full. But yeah, I would just get yourself a nice tall glass of root beer. Sit down with the doctor now and get ready for 60s pacing. I would get yourself a beanbag and a

fireplace and a nice lady named Sheila and take a weekend up to big bear. We just want you to reach your all-time high, you know? But yeah, I would say watch it in order. Doctor No, is the one I re-watched the most. That's interesting. Yeah.

Me, it's view to a kill for some reason. Because you love that fucking theme song. I do. Which you didn't even put in your... Oh, I love it. Don't get me wrong. We're going to miss you. You know who that is?

That's the woman that does the butterflies, because Papillon means butterfly. I think she really does that as a bit, and her name is like, Butterfly Sousou. And she does the little tweet, tweet, tweet thing, you know. So she's like hanging? Yeah, she's the butterfly lady. Oh, my God.

Papillon Sousou. So in a James Bond movie, if you handle the butterflies on set, your name goes in the opening credits. Cubby Broccoli treated everyone like family. Oh, he's the Olive Garden of producers. Ladies and gentlemen, that's it for James Bonding. Thank you.

Thank you, Nick Weiger. Thank you, Larry Miller. Thank you, L.A. Podcasting Festival. Remember, stamps.com slash WTF or something. Now leavingnerdist.com. Hey, this is Arnie Neacamp from the Improft Fantasy Podcast. Hello from the Magic Tavern. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical land of food,

and I started a podcast. Season three has just begun with a brand new adventure to defeat the Dark Lord. If you're a new listener or you've fallen behind season three is a great jumping on point, and we've got great guests like Justin McElroy. I sat like a fancy college professor. Rachel Bloom. You all see my collection of men corpses and one woman. Felicia Day and Colton Dunn.

You've seen me have it a quote. with a variety of species. It's a bummer. Andy Daly. You have the members of Genesis listed, but Phil Collins has crossed out and then Circle did it cross out again. Yes, I have killed Phil Collins twice.

Thomas Middletch. Jesus, I mean, Jazzos, ruler of the eighth circle. And that's just the beginning. Season 3, A Fellow from the Magic Tavern is out now. Listen in Stitcher, Apple Podcast,

or wherever you get your podcast.