James Bonding - Bond, James Bond: Ranked

Episode Date: February 28, 2024

This week, Matt and Matt discuss every time an actor has said Bond James Bond in a Bond film. Then they pick their favorites. Because of course they do. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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offering a special deal to all our listeners. You can get 25% off your first purchase when you head to Viori. That's V-U-O-R-I-Cloathing.com, and you use the promo code bonding at checkout. Here's a show. Matt and, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, James Bonding Podcast. Myra, James Bonding Podcast, it's the James Bonding Podcast, it's the James Bonding Podcast, it's a James Bonding podcast, it's a James Bonding podcast, it's a Jims Bonding It's the James Bonding podcast. It's a James Bonding podcast. It's the James Bonding podcast with Matthews Myra and Gourley. Matthews Gourley and Myra podcast. Hey, everybody. Welcome to James Bonding. I'm Matt. And I'm Matt as well. Good morning, everybody.

Oh, good morning. It's that special time a year when Matt and I like to record this podcast from separate rooms. Sunday morning. We should be in church, but we're not. we're in the church of James Bond and thank you for worshipping with us everyone i am a devout believer i believe in uh in cold drink and warm love that's right is that what he does i don't think might be misinterpreting warm love warm love is both a pleasant and appalling term yeah warm love warm love um this is an episode that we've been talking about doing for a long time time, Matt, we made reference. I think we got really into it in about a month back when we did The World is Not Enough, and we were discussing the ridiculousness of the Bond followed by him

shooting the hydraulic whatever for the elevator as the place with the nuclear bomb was on fire. Is it the only Bond James Bond where there's a task in between the name? Well, I, 100%. Sorry, a task completion. Yeah, because, you know, he's always doing a task while he's saying it, but, oh, you know what? It's not. The doctor, no one. He completes the task of lighting a cigarette. Yeah, okay.

Yeah. The scale is a bit different, but okay. Yeah, it's, so, you know, he makes the pause in the world is not enough where he fires the gun and then finishes his line. So that was such a ridiculous moment. We're talking about these Bond to James Bond moments, and we were wondering, hey, what are the best ones? How many are there? So many questions. Yeah, I was surprised to find there were a fair amount of films that don't include it.

Yeah, and I think from now on, those films should not be canon. I know. They are hereby expelled, but that means, of course, we're losing one of your favorites and mine from Russia with love. Oh, gone. Sorry, guys. Not canon anymore. Thunderball I'm okay losing that

Quantum of Solis Oh no And that's gonna be good I can't wait to rewatch that one License to Kill's on the On the cutting room On the edge there Because he gets cut off during his bond

James Bond So I guess you know A for effort The intent is there He's gonna do it But no dice Oh and you only live twice as well He says it

And you only live twice He does He says it to the sumo wrestler. But I think that's edited in that video we watched. Same with Quantum of Solace. There's a couple where they're just putting dubs in to make it seem like they're in that movie. It's actually... Wait, you're saying it's not in that scene?

You're saying that my brain inceptioned that into being real? No, that clip that you just watched? Yeah. Puts it in. But I don't think it's actually in the film. Is that blow your mind? You're like making me feel like I'm crazy. I'm going to go to it right now and check that out.

Do you have a digital copy of that on your... I sure do. Oh, thank God. Yeah, but we'll keep talking while I'm checking it out. Oh, okay. Yeah, so Matt's going to go look up, You Only Live Twice, because in the video, the YouTube video, we're going to direct everyone to.

No, not the one you sent me. That one's solid, but the one I sent you has some... It seems like they're trying to do one for every film, even though it doesn't exist. Like, they're kind of... Oh. But the one you sent me doesn't have... You only live twice.

It doesn't? No. Guys, you know, when you watch these James Bond YouTube videos together too closely, it really does all blend together into one thing that's real. Forgive us. Matt, I don't have video on you right now, but it's okay because I have audio and that's what's really important for a podcast. I think it's because I've got my You Only Live Twice Up right now and I'm standing in. Oh, okay. Oh, no problem then.

I'm trying to remember when he goes to the sumo part. Doesn't he? Well, I'll look. I'll pull it up right now as far as I have it in this video. I will say that seeing Sean Connery through the years, it's fascinating because the video that we are going to show everybody has never say never again in it as well as Diamonds or Forever. Right. And if you told me that those movies were 50 years apart, I'd believe you. Yeah.

because quite frankly the aging that happens is remarkable and I gotta say his wig in in Never Say Never Again I feel like they really pulled back on the wig budget yeah it seems like that era alone just wig tech somehow took a turn for the worse in the 70s I don't quite know why I think it's because hair was so big you know yeah you're right maybe that's true and it was a little harder to pull it off convincingly

The bigger the wig, the faker it looks and the harder to fall. It's so true. That's one of the oldest sayings. That's actually on Matt Gourley's family crest. The Gourley family crest is the bigger the hair, the bigger the wig, the heart of the fall. Okay, I'm going to listen. Here's this scene right now. Okay.

Matt's going to check out the first video we watched. Big thanks to Emily Schmemmeli, who tweeted yesterday asking for this video and people responded in mind. That was me. Oh my God. You dust it off the... account? I sure did. That's amazing, Matt.

I can't believe you still have access to such a thing. Hell yeah. Why can't I get my thing to play? Maybe because you're FaceTiming and you're not allowed to do that? It might be. Oh, wait. Be quiet for a second. I'm being quiet.

Okay. Here it is. I know you can't hear it, but I can. Okay, this is going to be worth it because he doesn't say it. He just shakes the sumo wrestler's hand. Oh, well. Okay, so that's the official, if we have it now officially. There might be some films that do it more than once, but we're going to be talking about the primary one.

Yeah. So this is, the video that we're going to watch to go along with this is going to be called Best of Bond James Bond. And this is by a YouTube user by the name of James Bond. Jolly. Jolly Rager. Jolly Rager. that's a great fucking YouTube name. Yeah.

Way to go Jolly Rager. J.R. He has 515 subscribers. Not bad. So maybe we can kick him up a notch. Let me see what else he's making here. A lot of things in Spanish, which I'm sure are great.

Okay. So the Bonjave Bond, when you listen to them all together, they sound very, inorganic, but spaced out, we're going to talk about each actor and their attempts at it. Matt, would you like to, how should we do this? Should we play them and then pause and talk about each one, or what would you like to do? Yeah, that makes sense.

Why not? All right. So let's take a quick step in here. We're going to visit first Dr. No, I believe. I admire your courage, Mr. Trench. So, dear Trench. I admire your luck Mr.

Bond James Bond Okay All right I'm not even a lot Like that's the winner of them all Spoiler I mean that is the best one

It's one of the greatest moments In cinema history It's the I mean everything about it is correct You have a tuxedo James Bond You're in a casino He's just lit a cigarette And then

the music comes in. You have never seen his face to this point either. That's so true. What an introduction of a character. Yeah. And it's teed off by Sylvia Trench who raises that one arch eyebrow. That's incredible. I cannot get over how iconic that moment is and how wonderfully shot it is.

Yeah. It's amazing. It never gets old. And no matter what we do, that's just my number one. Bon James Bond by a mile. And I even, the second one for me is even amazing, but that one's just incredible. I don't think that we will ever, as human beings feel as cool as that moment. Yeah, like what are other of the coolest moments in film that do they come close?

Like, what can you think of that's that cool? Well, you know, I always have been partial to when Keanu Reeves says, I know Kung Fu. Oh, boy. In The Matrix? No, just me? Just me? I mean, there's Indiana Jones shooting the Cairo Swordsman. That's a pretty cool moment.

But it's not as suave. Yeah, no. It's not a suave. It's purposefully reckless. Yeah, what is as cool and suave as that? I don't know. Well, I mean, think of iconic actors. So you got your, you're, think of Harrison Ford.

Han Solo's introduction as we know pretty soon by the time this podcast comes out maybe everyone will have seen a solo story a solo, a Star Wars story

so maybe there's something in there that does it his I know moment in Empire Strikes Back is pretty good yeah yeah but that's not an introduction

you need an introduction to a character right although you know what is the in the Raiders yeah it pans down down from the Paramount Mountain.

It's pretty, it's kind of similar because you don't see his face for a while. And after that his guy betrays him and he shoots the gun out of his hand, he steps into the light. And that's pretty good. Yeah. That is very cool. And they were going, you know, they were both such fans of Bond at that point anyway. Right.

Maybe they were like, we need to do something here to one up it. Yeah. And they did not. They did not. They missed guys. They failed. Because it's untopable. in my opinion.

Yeah. It's intoppable. Also, it's the first time he's playing the role and his delivery is so confident but not oversold. It is just, it just exists as a fact.

Like, this is my name. And like, why embellish it? It's already amazing. That's the problem. Some of them will suffer, especially in each actor's first one. You can feel the self-consciousness

sometimes. Well, I can't imagine having to deliver that line. I know. Connor, you had the benefit of never, like, it wasn't a catchphrase. It was just a line in a script. It's interesting to find out that some of these are very inorganic where no one's A, asking his name or B. It's, have you ever introduced yourself to someone and then asked for their introduction and just started it by going, Mr. like no but now i think i may start doing that that's pretty right i think you know it's such a

yeah it's such a pimp to get that line out the setups firm are sometimes pretty unwieldy but it's also interesting that it doesn't happen in fromush with love and then it happens in goldfinger which you get the sense like oh let's do that again but then they kind of drop it for a while and with more, they really bring it back as a trademark because it's in every film. The trope,

the trope, it must be very, you must, that's a great question for Daniel Craig. Or for even for Dalton and, and I guess,

who's left Laysenby? Just to sort of go, like, what, how are you selling that in your head? How, how are you, not is it the hardest line you've ever done.

Brosnan talks about it and everything or nothing, that documentary, and he talks about the way, and I really feel for him when he's saying, like there is so much to live up to and you can't oversell it, how do you do it, you just have to go,

doesn't he say something like, okay, here I go, kind of like you're diving into a cold pool. I mean, how else do you handle it? And I wonder how many takes they give each actor the first time, Because I would imagine each actors be like, I need like 10 just to warm up.

20 to get it right and 30 to oversell it so we can walk it back, you know. Do you think, I wonder of all the actors who have taken the mantle, who had the most takes? Who fucked the lines up the most? And I want to see the strangest ticks. Because you know they try variations on it. My name is Bon James Bond. My name is Bon James Bond.

James. My name's Bon James Bond. You know what? An honorable mention is in the Allie G show when he's as Allie G trying to make a spy movie. And he's talking about James Bond or I think he's playing him in the movie, but he does the quote and he goes, my name is James. James Bond. And it's really funny. I can't wait till we're doing that. Imagine we have to get to that. We have to get to the Ali G sketch where he's making a spy movie. I love it.

We've done so many of these episodes. Yeah. We've done Johnny English too twice. All right, Matt. All right. Next is Goldfinger. Correct. Let's hear it, shall we?

Yeah. Who are you? Bond. James Bond. I mean, it's very quick. The music's coming in a little bit. It's on the balcony. He's in his powder blue play suit.

They did the right thing in this and that they kind of toss it off a little. He's walking when he does it too. He's not looking at her. He's kind of like occupied with what's going on with Goldfinger down on the pool deck. Well, wouldn't you be? You got to know what's going on with this guy. How was he always winning at these cards? My luck's got to change.

And he's just, he still has such a smooth delivery bond. James Bond. He's going to be tough to beat in a lot of these. We should have mentioned when we did our... What was the podcast we did about actors, odd casting choices? Yeah. I feel like we should have mentioned the guy, the guy playing cards with Goldfinger, because he's got a very memorable sort of like...

Oh, yeah. He's just kind of like a dentist. Yeah, he's a very memorable Miami. dentist, if that makes any sense to anyone, which I bet it doesn't. Does it? It does. It does for me. Sure. Matt, thank you so much for being in this journey with me. You're certainly welcome. Oh, dear. Let's hear now. This is going to be from a little film called, this is kind of out of order, right? Well, they're going in order of the films. So chronologically, so now we go to Laysenby, but do you want to skip ahead to Diamonds or Forever? So we just do all of Connerys.

Okay, let's get Connery in the way. All right, here we go. See, here's the problem with scrubbing through on a... Oh, I got it. Guys, I'm on my eye. Here's this, just let me explain this situation, everybody at home. Yeah. I'm on my iPad playing this whilst recording this over the computer.

And trying to get like the audio and everything all synced up together, it's a bear. Here we go. Diamonds are forever. Who are you? My name is Bond. James Bond. As we all know, that one is not enjoyable. Yeah, it's a little phoned in.

The jazz music is interesting underneath the kind of jazzy score. There's a jazzy. What is that? It's like a trumpet with a mute on it? Yeah, I think so. And he's, where does he wearing, like, a Terry cloth again? He's wearing a, he's wearing a Terry. cloth safari shirt.

Like beige, right? Yeah, like a beige terry cloth safari shirt with very pointy chest pockets. Yeah. And this is the debut of the wig. What do you think? This is a wig you purport to enjoy, right? You think this one's good? I do think this one's good because I think it works in the salt and pepper, so it looks a little

more real than you only live twice in Thunderball, which are just real shells, brown, like steady brown shells. that don't really work. Because as you know, there's hard to find evidence for this either way, but I'm pretty convinced that in Dr. Noe and from Russia with love, he's maybe just wearing something on the back,

that that's his natural hairline in front. But when you get to Goldfinger, it starts going full wig. And then by the time you get to this one, at least it's a little curlier and grayer, so it looks a little more real to me. So you're thinking he has. has the Ted Danson going on. Yeah, I believe so. Yeah, the Sam Malone. Yeah, that's right. Do you remember that? Do you remember

the reveal when he, I think he reveals it to Carla that he's wearing a piece? Yeah, I remember that was big talk around town, you know, and that was pre-internet, and that was going around junior high. Yeah, come on. And then he finally reveals it to Carla in season 11 of Cheers. And what a moment it is for everybody. Let's ask, what do you think is going on with Ted Danson's hair now? Do you think he got plugs eventually? I think so, because it looks amazing. It looks great. There's just a silver fox. You can get plugs in the back and have it look natural if your front naturally looks good. But plugs in the front, you can tell because there's more hairs coming out of one follicle. You know what I mean? Like they're little fountain follicles of hair in a fountain. Is that how it works? Yeah. I mean, they probably have more

expensive ways to do it now, but traditionally the plug thing is they put more than one hair in every follicle. Oh, that's interesting. And they're very regularly spaced, so it's almost like a grid. Oh, well, everyone is just too perfect. For the record, everyone, I want to say it every time. On every podcast you've ever done, I've said it at least once, but when I can afford them, I'm getting hair plugs. Are you really? Oh, fuck yeah. I think your hair looks great. No, my hair's fine now. I'm from the front it's good but like it's very thin up there i don't know i do have a head i have a decent head of hair now but i'm just trying to get to it matt before it becomes a real problem oh really i'm going gracefully because my hair's thin and you know what i'm doing my hair's going to write it out

your hair's thin but long and and and silky you know you've got great hair you've got great hair thank you i don't think so but some silky hair buddy well we also got one of the best beards in the business and you you shaved it and now you're growing it back somehow? I'm very confused, Matt. What's your beard? What is your beard strategy? I don't have one. I have a lack of strategy. You've got a great beard. Are you kidding? Listen, this beard is just, it's sculpted. I went with the Riker, and I've gone with it now. I've had it for, I've had it for a bunch of years. Although, you know, every so often in the summer, I'll take the whole thing off. You should do a drax. Oh, now we're talking. Yeah. Oh, maybe I should do a drax.

you know, we've been talking about doing a 35th birthday for Matt Myra that is James Bond themed. We should. That would be the summer. And, you know, if we're cosplaying, maybe I'd do a drags. Yeah. I'm going to go as, as it's in Specter, Blofeld's little right-hand man. With the glasses. Oh, my God.

Should I put out a thing? If I do, if we have this party, I'm wondering if I should just be. like, please know James Bond's or super villains. I want peripheral only. Yeah, third level. If you're curious about whether or not this person counts, please send us, send me an email and I will get back to you. That's good. Okay. So if we're doing all the Conneries, we're going to have to now skip ahead. I am going to allow the never say never again, bond James Bond in. Fair enough. Do you think, do you think, do you think that's allowed? I think that's right, because he is missing three of his films don't have them anyway, so he needs the assist. Okay, so here we go, everybody. This is Kim Basinger, if you remember

correctly, is playing an arcade game, so let's dive in. Oh, wait, I have the volume down a little bit, so I'm just going to pop back over here, and then I'm going to put the volume up. Oh, this, it could go better if I had more skill at running multiple things with my hands. It's Sunday morning. I think the people are with us and we appreciate your patience and Matt, we appreciate your service. I think that these people get what they pay for. That's right. That's right. Hello again. I do owe you an explanation. My name is Bond, James Bond. It's very like I'm applying for a job. I'm from the waterboard. My name is Bond, James Bond, and I'd like to be your chauffeur.

Yeah. Boy, I mean, if we're ranking by actor, obviously Dr. Knows first, for me, Goldfinger, second. And I'm torn between diamonds of forever and never say never again because they're both pretty unremarkable. But I think I'd put this one last. It's also the sound of the arcade behind it does not do any favors. I think they should have honestly, I think they should have made more of it. a fanfare about the diamonds or forever Bond James Bond.

You know, because it was like to have him back after that, after Honor Majesty's Secret Service, I think is like, it's a get, you know? It's a big, it's a big deal. So I think when you bring him back in for this Bond James Bond, I think, I don't want jazz trumpet. Yeah, I'm with you. I want like, throw him in a tuxedo.

Don't put him in like the worst shirt. And same thing for Never Say Never Again. he's in a tux. He's in a tuxedo. But it's just so tossed off. Like there's a good way to toss these off and a bad way to toss these off. And these last two were badly tossed off. Do you think that he...

How many... I wonder how many takes of that he did. Oh, I think we're looking at the only take of each. So you think it never said never again. He was like, I'm doing one take of everything. Yeah, Kirsner's just brilliant. That's it. Don't do it again. You'll spoil it.

You have a great Kirshner impersonation there. Thank you very much. I've been working on drama. You've got to put drama, show them, don't tell them. What, what, what, what, what, could you tell me a little bit about your disagreements with George Lucas? Absolutely. Now, we were filming in, in London, England, and all of the actors were. high. Carrie comes in. She's been hanging out with the rolling stones all night. She's high as the Rocky Mountains, right? Then Harrison comes in. Harry, we called him. He was high himself. He was always high.

Carrie would come in after a bender and be high, but Ford was always high. Now, Mark, he was a good kid, but he was always at my heels nipping at me about something to do with the character. And I just, let's get it done. Look at the big picture. I've got to get these wampers in here and shoot this scene where the wampas take over. So you were going to do a whole scene? Hang on. You were going to do a whole scene, sir, where the wampas took over? Oh, there's footage of it. It exists. They take over Echo Base on Hoth. And, uh, but we had to cut it because they just didn't look right. They were all bad, long arms played by men. So we says, let's get to the chase. Get Luke to the swamp planet.

And he can meet the goblin boy. Now you famously, of course, had John Ratsonberger in there. That's right. I was a huge fan. of cheers. And I had to get that in there. He's my, he's sort of my Clint Howard, if you will. So John Ratzberger is your Clint Howard. And John Ratsberger also functions as that for Pixar movies. So really... That's right. He's a treasure. He's a conservative treasure. He's a Trump supporting treasure. Absolutely. That's right. That's right. All right, Irving. Thanks so much for stopping by the James Bonding podcast. You bet I'll be at WonderCon in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and they've convinced me to dress up in a bober-fet costume, and I'm going to have Yoder, the goblin man, and on stage to do a Q&A, all right?

So check me out there. I'll be there next week, and even though I have since past, I will be there as a force ghost. How much will it cost for an autograph and a photo? I'm doing them in trade. And so I get your autograph and you get mine. And my thinking is there's bound to be some future celebrity in the crowd. Okay. So then you'll return.

They'll go on to make things. In a few decades, you'll then return as a force goes to sell your wares. That's right. I'll open up a little booth at Comic-Con in San Diego. Oh, Mr. Kirshner. Thank you so much. You're more than welcome. Yep. You bet. Bye now. I'm sorry, I didn't mention it, but I had to go pee. Yeah, Matt, you missed Irvin Kirchner. He stopped by.

What? Yeah, he's actually, hold on to your butt here. He's going to be appearing at a convention in Tulsa. Oh, my God. I thought he was dead. No, no, he's, he is, but he's going to be there as a force ghost. Oh, that seems like an appointment convention. A. Big Q&A. Big Q&A with the Green Goblin Man. And also, anytime you want his autograph, all you have to do is sign something for him. Great. Okay. I love it. So, lots of fun. We're just about to hit Roger Moore. This is from the movie where his skin looked the best. This is living lit tie. Solitaire. My name is Bonn. James Bond. I mean, there you go. That's pretty good.

Right. That's good. He's so friendly. Where Connerys are smooth, his are affable and truly like, like I'm happy to meet you. It is an actual introduction. How can you not be happy to meet Jane Seymour? Yeah, come on. That's true. Come on. And that music placed in there is really good. That's a good place, but of the music. That's sort of, I think, of it, what the Diamonds are Forever, Bond, James Bond lacked. Right. Yeah, you may be right. Here's how I feel right now, man. I feel bad. We skipped over George Lasonby.

Oh, geez, you're right. So I'm going to pump this. I'm going to pump the brakes. And I'm going to go back and we're going to see Mr. George Lasonby, who you got one shot. Let's hear it. Good morning. My name's Bond. James Bond.

He says, good morning. I know. This one has never really worked for me. And I think part of it is in his fault. I don't sense that he. believes it. I'm feeling like as an actor, he's very aware of what he's doing. But I also think because this was shot on the beach, everything had to be ADR'd. So there's a natural disconnect. It's also, he's the wettest person ever to deliver that dialogue.

There's just, you just, you don't want ADR on these moments. You want it to be the actual delivery because the subtlety really matters and there's not a lot of subtlety in this one, even though it's a casual delivery. Oh, and then like the whole idea. of like going in and having to dub that like I know it's it's the nervousness times four right right you gotta sit there and like try to match your own fucking mouth and yeah it's just more opportunity to get it wrong that's that's right they set him up for failure have we decided that maybe they didn't set him up for failure they gave him the best script with the great director yeah they gave him the movie came up great chance they gave him a chance to move on and he didn't take he uh he set

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Here's the show. I think. No, I know it is actually. The show's coming back. Here it is. All right. All right. Roger Moore.

Let's pop back in there. That was the end of the solitaire one again. But just so we can go back to talking about that. But he, for someone to come in now and truly fill in for Sean Connery, while still delivering it, in a different way, but a believable way, in a way that you recognize. There's a lot of nuance that goes into Roger Moore's performance.

That's true. That I think we don't give enough credit to. And I think, having watched these a few times this morning, with the exception of a view to a kill, all of them are truly friendly introductions. Like he's your new insurance representative and how can I help you? Like, he's paid to be there or something. And that's a smart move on his part. because he really does go to charm. Well, it's also like, where does it come in?

Yeah. Where does it come in in the script, too, with him? He, he gets to do it before the stakes are really there. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Do you think it helps in some of these that they're moving? Like, in this one, it works because he's kind of walking through the room. Same with Goldfinger, though.

I would say it doesn't really work in diamonds forever. But there's something about him moving in this one. I don't know. Because I think once he's moving, once you're moving, you sort of buy it more because there's an absent-mindedness to the introduction. Yeah. You know, because you're like looking around and you're like, Bond, James Bond. Yeah, and it does do that.

It does, it's a less sort of believable situation when you're sitting there delivering that dialogue straight on in a, in a quiet room. Yeah. You know what I mean? I don't think enough is said about Moore's, like, elegance, even as a mover. He's, you know, he's not always the most believable action fighter, but when he's moving through this room, it's enchanting. I don't know what it is.

Well, I mean, it's a beautiful set. And, you know, he is, he's yet to take the mantle of Roger Moore action fighter. That's right. That's true. By the way, I would, I would write that comic book in a second. I would. Up till this point, he was only Roger Moore ladder dropper in Harlem. Right.

Okay, so this is now the man with the golden gun where he's introducing himself to the belly dancer, who has the golden bullet in her belly button. Good evening. My name is Bond. James Bond. Now, this one, the audio does not do it justice. It's the look on his face. Oh, he's so thrilled to be there.

He's so happy. I got to watch that one. please do if you're at home and you'd like to watch it again that video is called best of colon my name is bond james bond exclamation points he comes up with this big smile that it's just he looks great in this one too i mean he looks like a kennedy I think the idea of him being the friendliest one is so right is so succinctly descriptive of Roger Moore as James Bond. Yeah. I think you've done yourself, you've done a great job there, man.

Yeah. I'm really proud of me for figuring that out. Yeah. This next one is from spy, the spy who loved me. Now, this is his first time doing it in a tuxedo, everybody. So think about that when you're hearing his performance. And seated and stationary. Yeah.

So this is not walking, looking at things. This is, here we go. So ready? My name is Bonn. James Bond. Pretty standard. Yeah, this is at the bottom of all of the list for all the mores because it's just so unremarkable in every way.

It's not bad. It's just very uneventful. I don't know. There's nothing special about it. But at least he already knows that guy's name. That's true. That's true. So that's, he's one step ahead of the game there. You're right.

Now, this is from Moon Raker. And this is, this is, for me, this is very close to the top for, for Roger Moore. Yeah. I like this one. Here we go. Good afternoon. Can I help you? Yes. My name is Bond.

James Bond. And I'll tell you why, Matt. If you go back and you watch that, it's like he's got a little secret for her, and he's delighted to reveal his first name. Because of the way that it's shot. The way it's shot, it's over the shoulder, so you don't see him when he says, my name is Bond.

And then he leans into James Bond in a way that's like, would you believe it? My name's James Bond. Yeah, yeah. That one throws me a little, because I feel like she's very self-conscious. It almost seems like maybe this is one of the first scenes they shot. Well, she's got a lot to, she's got a lot to think about because she's not only is she a scientist,

but she's also working for the CIA, and she has to conceal that. I guess, but as an actress, she's just awkwardly holding her clipboard, and I feel the tension as, as an actress that takes me out of it a little bit. No, I think she's, I think she's being, she's pretending to be a CIA agent who is acting. Okay. I like to give people so much credit. That's fair. That's fair.

For unintentional things. Did you watch it? Yeah. Yeah. It's so funny. Lean in is almost imperceptible, but it is really important. It is the perfect punctuation. There's a little boop.

He might as well, like, put his hand on the tip of her nose and go boop. Yeah. Also, like, we might as well get like a little dimple and a tiny chime hit. Yes. Yes. That's how charming that is. That's true. The for your eyes only is next.

And this one happens. This is the first one we see in a car. I like this one. Okay, here we go. Hey, we haven't been properly introduced, Melina. My name is Bond. James Bond. Now, here's what I don't like about this.

The car is clearly shifting. You're hearing the car changed gears up. And yet his hand is out to shake her hand. He's not changing gears. I never. So if that Citrian is an automatic transmission, please let me know, but I have a great feeling that it is not an automatic transmission. You're probably right. However, he is so affable and he puts me at ease. Like, they have just

gone through a lot of drama and he's so, the way he's looking at her is priceless. I just feel like it's comforting and who would not fall in love with this man? He's a charm ball. He's genuinely, I just, I wish, I wish I got to know him. You know, I wish I, I wish I knew him in, in that. I wish I was around in 1971 to become friends with Roger Moore and by friends I mean

to have him be like my big brother Yeah and play cards and bad gammon with him Yeah By like pool side That would be amazing I would love it

Like I would love it if he was charged With entertaining me for a weekend And played mini golf with me Oh god That'd be amazing Amazing Who would be the worst James Bond To play miniature golf with

Well my default would be to say Connery, but I don't think that's the case because he loves golf, so at least he'd feel like maybe he's having a good time. I think he'd enjoy himself. I mean, it might be Daniel Craig. I agree. I don't think he'd want to be there. I agree.

I don't think he'd want to be there at all. I mean, I would love it, but I don't think he would. Do you have an answer as to who everyone at home would be the worst James Bond to play mini golf with? If you do, and you have a great reason for that, please email us. What is our email address? I'd like to plug that because we're not getting a ton of emails lately. Probably because they know we don't answer.

I think S does. She gives us updates. Yes. Is it Bond James Bonding at Gmail.com? I don't know. Matt, I'm going to find out right now. I am too. It is Bond James Bonding at Gmail.com.

You can email us right there. And we are going. to be doing it. We've got to do another mailbag episode. Yeah. I like them and quite frankly, I hope you do too. So, that being said, we will now move

on to Octopus. Octopussy. Here we go. This one also takes place in a casino. Then why don't you take over the major's position? Mr. Bonn.

James, Ma. I like this one. He's so good at these. I like that one too because he's moving to sit down. And he's been asked his name. Yeah. He's not forcing his name on anyone. I think we're going to find at the end of this that Connery has the best one,

but Roe Moore has the most consistent. Roar. Rory Moore has the most consistency of them all. He's great. I am excited to. reveal the next one to you, Matt, because it involves, uh, quite frankly, the largest prop ever in the history of James Bond movies.

That's, uh, of course, a fire truck. Oh, yeah. Yes. Wait a minute. This is James Stock of the London Financial Times. Well, actually, Captain, I'm with the British Secret Service. The name is Bond. James Bond.

Is he? Are you? Yes. Hmm. Is he? Are you? Yes. This one's interesting because it's not like a one to one line.

It's actually part of a plot point, which you don't often get. Apparently never. We have yet to get it. That's right. But, you know, it's, it's, the movie is great. And by great, I mean, it's a James Bonding podcast, a Hall of Famer. Yeah. But this is the first time there are three people exchanging dialogue.

Usually he delivers it to one human being. Right. Right. So that's interesting. Yeah. And also, like, I love how ridiculous that. I like the way that scene is played for its ridiculousness. Mm-hmm.

This is so and so. The London actually has a British Secret Service. Like, I love the cost reaction to go, is he? Do you have a ranking of these Moors? well you know here's here's how i feel about it i think that his best is his first i agree i think the living let die is the best of those that's great yeah and the the way that i would tumble that down uh i would go the live and let die one i would then put the for your eyes only one is number two i would then slide moonracker in there for the uh for the dimpley funness of that one

Mm-hmm. And then you're going to have your man with a golden gun, your octopusy, your view to a kill, and your spy who love me. That's not too far off from mine. I'm going to go live and let die as your number one. It's top. Man with a golden gun, because I just love the way he comes through that door. Four your eyes only, drive me around anytime, Rory Moore.

Number four would be octopusy. I just like that the stakes are a little high. He's meeting the villain there. It's pretty good. Moon Raker, a view to a kill. And yeah, the spy who loved me is pretty unremarkable as these things go. Yeah. Well, the next one involves another prop.

We're into prop comedy time here. And this is a 1980s cordless telephone on a yacht. So everyone, get ready. I should call you back. Who are you? Bond, James Bond. Thank you. Let me say, I really appreciate what they're doing here.

And I know, because I've heard Dalton say this in interviews, that he actively wanted to throw this away and make it a not big deal. And, like, the opposite of what it's been. that being said it is so obviously done that way it's almost jarring you know like it's just right i think he might also be a d r there possibly too because it's hard to get good sound at sea but he looks so good that that uniform he's in whatever that is his s as a uniform yeah his s as so good oh do you know what's funny slash not fun i don't know uh there's a there's a there's a call of duty um map uh you know, where you play, you know, your team death match or whatever. Gibraltar.

And it's kind of great because, like, some of it is like, oh, yeah, that's totally in license to kill. Oh, nice. I mean, what do you think of it? I like it for the... Because there's... Okay, so not only do you have him taking this woman's phone. Right. But you have him choosing to lay down to make the call. I know, that is interesting. Yeah, wait a minute. That's the layer of this.

Yeah, that's interesting. Where I'm just like, wait a second, why are we allowing this to happen? And so for that, I think it's, uh, it's all right. But he's, he is like really just, he's, I don't, I don't know. Yeah, I appreciate what they're doing, but the execution, I think, is a little, yeah. lacking or something. I do like the phone, though. Yeah. So, there's that. We don't have licenses to kill on here, do we?

Because he gets cut off on that. It's when he's meeting Sanchez in his office in Isma City, but it's not quite a full James Bond, Bond, James Bond. So we'll just let that be what it is. And so it is written. We let it be what it is. That's right.

To the Church of James Bonding. Here we go. This is now, we're heading into Pierce, Brosnan, Territory, everybody. Thank you, Mr. My phone dinged at the same time that that happened, which actually, I think, helped the moment.

Yeah. Will you play that one again? Of course, I will. Who are we kidding? Yeah. Oh, let's see. I like, this is good because he's in a casino. He's in a tuxedo.

He gets, like, I think they really, I feel like Dalton got short shrift. Dalton and Laysenby get short shrift here with this whole like introductory Bond James Bond. Do you know what I'm saying? Because they didn't set it up well enough, you mean? Or what?

They didn't they didn't like have the they didn't have all the parts in place. Like they didn't Like they didn't have a tie on They didn't have the suavness Because Lazy's Bees soaking wet in a white shirt And Dalton has parachuted in

And stolen a telephone So they're not like set up with like You're in a tuxedo You're in a very nice suit You're walking in Trying to own the place I mean Oh right

It's like everyone one is a direct opposite response to the one before it, the bond before it. So Connery's smooth, but a little dangerous. Moore is friendly. Although Lazyzeby is very friendly, but it's very casual. Like it's wet at the beach. Dalton is, you know what? My theory has got no grounding in reality.

Let's hear Brasen's first one again. This is Golden Eye Fomke-Yonson, followed by Pierce Brosson. Don't. Thank you, Mr. The name's Bond. James Bond. Oh, come on. You know, this one's pretty good because he's, he actually doesn't play this up.

It is as straightforward as any of them get. And that's rare for a Brosnan movie as we're going to find as we go on. This one is just real right down the middle, but pretty solid. Yeah. He's also in a tuxedo. So points already. They're in a casino. more points.

So, so far, I do like these, I do like the first one of everybody. Let's, let's hear what happens, Matt, when you go meet someone named Elliot Carver, who might have a plan to have exclusive broadcast rights in all of China for 100 years. Here we go. This is a new banker, Mr. Bond. James Bond. Now, come on. I'm going to surprise you a little bit.

I think this one's really good. What? This is the only thing you like from this movie. Yeah, I mean, the Dolly Inn is nice. Yes. His delivery's nice. I feel he's a little more confident in this one than Gold and I, because he knows he's got the job.

He survived a movie. And he just underplays it. I'm surprised to see that. Brazen kind of underplays these first too a little bit. It's a refreshing thing for him, I think. Well, you said, I mean, you heard him. He put a lot of thought into the whole thing. Yeah.

Like, maybe too much thought? Maybe, but it seems to be playing well. Okay, so this now is going to be, from the world is not enough. And this is happening at the church that was just saved by Electra King, by them rerouting the pipeline. Boy, you know, sometimes I have it muted, sometimes I don't have it muted, and that was one of the times when I had it muted. Now I'm turning up the volume, and here we go.

Bond. James Bond. It's, again, pretty straightforward, but don't let that fool you because what's coming next in the same film is really something. Okay, so, you know, sometimes there's two. There's two in a movie, and this is one of those times. So buckle up everybody. That was him opposite Sophie Marceau.

And now here he is opposite Denise Richards. Here we go. James Bond. Well, I don't know what more we can say about that, but I guess if you're going to do it, you know what I mean? They go for it. You're in the Brosnan era. He's earned a little credit because he's underplayed them to this point. So it's like he's got a little room to play.

I think for the Brosnan films, and this film especially, I'm a fan of this. You are. Yeah, I think it's just so dumb, so dumb that I love it. Like this is view to a kill level self-awareness, you know, that I like. It's inherently the stupidest thing we've ever seen. Yeah, I like it. The whole idea. I mean, we went over this in the World's Not Enough episode, so I won't go into it too much.

But just the whole idea that that's the moment she would ask his name. Just crazy to me. It's crazy to me. I know. It's bonkers. It's so forced in. It's so ridiculous. Oh, it's insane.

So now let's talk about Die Another Day. Here we are. Guess what, everybody? I had it muted one more time. This one, this is a three people in a scene situation. Yeah. So that's something. What is his name? Graves, Gustav Graves.

And Mr. Bond. James Bond. I like the quietness of it. No music, just a little fencing. You just hear a little fencing. Yeah. This is sign language for fencing now. That's good.

You're doing a little up and down shame fingers. I watch this every time you play it, I watch it with the volume off. And that was the only one I've been able to do where the sound was perfectly synced. yes yes it's crazy that Dalton has I mean sorry

Brosnan has five four of them are nicely underplayed and one it just goes out of the stratosphere one he is playing

to Mars yeah he's projecting that's so funny all right rank him so so funny so wonderfully perfect you know what

honestly here's here's here, here's my ranking of these. I'm going to give the die another day, Bond James Bond, number one, the number one spot. Wow. Really? Yeah, I like, I like that one.

Yeah. I, you know, I also like the way, I liked, I like how Brosnan has aged. Yeah, I do too. I think he really aged into it. And I, you know, I, I think he earned himself at least one more movie. And I'm sad he didn't get it, but, you know, if it gave us Casino Royale, so be it.

Yeah. And then my number two for him is going to actually have to be the golden eye one because it's so classic. Number three is Tamara never dies. Number four is the first world is not enough. And number five is the last world is not enough. The flying away. Now, the flying away one. Now, if I'm entirely honest with myself and the, the listener.

of this podcast, number one is flying away. So why not make it that way? I don't know. I just, it just is so, like, the whole situation is so ridiculous. But I think in many ways, it's so, um, representative of the Pierce Brosnan era. Mm-hmm. So I'm going to fly.

You would, you would find you are in good company. I'm going to bump it. I'm going to bump it up. My number one is the stratosphere flying the world. world is not enough. I mean, they went for it. Boy, did they go for it. You got to give them some credit for that.

Number two is tomorrow never dies. I like that dolly in. It's a low angle. It looks pretty cool. Number three, golden eye. Just solid. Number four, die another day, underplayed. And then I think that second, the world is not enough, is pretty, just a little boring, maybe.

The one with Electra. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, guys, now we're going to. going to get into a little bit of the fun zone here. Wait a minute. Do you think that they underplayed the one with Electra because they know that like the audience is like, wow, they kind of underplayed that. And it was a trick to go like, wait till you see what you get in about 20 minutes.

It's, it's so of that movie. It's so like of the 20 minute boat chase, you know? It's like, just like it's over the top, but not as over the top as die another day. Yeah. Yeah. Somehow it's not cartoony. It's just crazy. Yeah. Oh, man. It's so many problematic moments in his movies. I know. So now we're going to jump into Daniel Craig era. And it looks like the first one we're going to see is from Skyfall here, Matt. Yeah, because this video is saving the casino, what Ray Al won from the end. But just before you play it, I'm on this as well. And the shot of him at the casino table in Skyfall is so beautiful. The colors. Man, that looks good. Red and gold, buddy. Red and gold. The luckiest colors there are.

Who doesn't appreciate the occasional twists, Mr. Bond. James Bond. I mean, come on. You're delivering that with like a real, just a smoothness. That's the smoothest one. Yeah.

Like I'm really thinking about it right now. It's very smooth. You never think about what the other person is going through. like that actress Bernice Lim, I think is her name or Marlowe she must see the script at some point and go, holy shit, I'm the person that he

says Bon James Bond to. There's some pressure on the receiving end as well. Oh, for sure. You also have to make it you know, like I was saying earlier where you have to introduce yourself to someone and just go, mister? You have to tee up the most memorable line in film history. Yeah, it's almost, it's almost,

It's almost like being the person that says to Arnold Schwarzenegger, where are you going? And then he says, I'll be back. Yeah. Or it's a tumor. Kindergarten cop, Detective John Kimball. Boy, oh boy. Don't wait too long for our podcast Schwarzeneggering. I would make that podcast.

and copping. The cop, you with the earth. Okay. Here we go, everybody. This is it. This is the, this is, should I, should I play, I'll play this one because it's first anyway, but this is the, this is the Cassina Royal.

Here we go. Who is this? Love that. And then you get him struggling on a, on a gravely, beautiful Italian, the waterfront property. I'm always thrown that you can see his knee pads on his pants. I got knee-dar.

Pad-dar. The name's Bond. James Bond. I mean. Oh, God. I mean. That tiny little smirk he gives out to the delivery. It's all we wanted in the movie.

And like they give it to us at the end. I think next to Connery, that is the most confident one. There is. It's so... Connery had the benefit of not having to live up to anything. He had the most to live up to because of all that went before him and all the pressure he was feeling about people revolting that he can't be bond. And yet he delivers that...

Good God. All right, now let's hear the Specter with Monica Balucci. Here we go. I can tell you that I don't trust you. Well, then you have impeccable instincts. If you don't leave now, will die together I can think of worse ways to go

you're obviously crazy mister born James mr she does it she says mister an inquisitive mister

that's the sexiest one there's ever been right I mean there's never even been one that's been like you talk about completing a task what You talk about completing a task in between saying Bond James Bond. There you go. But boy, that writing before that is a little well written, isn't it? I mean, when I wasn't watching it, I was just listening, and it does feel overwritten,

a little too clever or something. Yeah, but that goes away when you're watching their performances. Because it's Monica Balucci and Daniel Craig staring at each other. Yeah, his delivery on that line is solid, though. His three, he's maybe the most consistent, even though, he's had less. But isn't there two, Inspector? Didn't we remember that? That there's one somewhere else, I forget.

Oh, we were talking about there being one at the... At the... The clinic or whatever? Something like that. The clinic you're going to? I've thought so. Maybe not. I don't know.

I think there is, because I think we talked about it with Amanda Maria. Hmm. I could be wrong. Did you ever watch the Daniel Craig sketch? John Colbert? I think so, yeah. I don't know that I have. I was wondering if it's any good.

Anyway, let's rank these Craigs. Let's rank the Craigs. Great. Here, easy. This is an easy ranking, Matt. Uh-huh. I have to say, and I hope you're okay with this, but Casino Royale, number one. Number two, Monica Balucci.

Number three, Skyfall. Number four, the one we can't quite remember. Right, right. I think I go Casino Royale, Skyfall, Specter. But they're all good. Oh. Oh. Yeah, the Skyfall one is fucking gorgeous.

Okay. It's beautifully shot. Why don't we pick our top three and our bottom three? Okay. This is pretty easy. Okay. The top three for me are... are Sean Connery in Dr. Now.

Do I have to go one from each, or can I pick multiple from one person? Well, we've, oh yeah, just the three best overall. I think Sean, yeah, Connery from Dr. No. Live and Let Die, Roger Moore, and Casino Royale.

Daniel Craig. I think that's mine too. I was considering the world is not enough instead of live and let die because it's so bonkers, but I think you're right, I gotta go, Casino,

yeah, Dr. No, Casino Royale, live and let die. Those are solid. Look at that. Yeah. I think we did it. I think we somehow agreed with each other on everything.

Yeah, and there's no need to pick out the worst ones because there are no bad ones. Well, listen, there are some wooden ones. There are some,

okay, here you go. Here are the worst ones. You ready? Yeah. Diamonds are forever. Yeah. Spy who love me. Yeah, Diamonds are Forever Spy Who Love Me and Tim Dalton.

Sorry, Timmy. Yeah, they're just... Well, that one's awkward, but the other... I don't love Lazy's either. They're either boring or awkward is the reason, but they're not horrible. They're just not quite as effective as those other ones. But, man, watching those

makes me fall in love with this series all over again. And it's a series that keeps on going, everybody. we are going to be What is our next movie, Matt? I forget again. It's for your eyes only. Oh my God. We're going to see that moment in the car.

We're going to figure out, is this Citrian a stick shift? Is it an automatic transmission? What's going on in there? How beautiful can you be underwater? We're going to find out all these things. And more. When James Bonding will return. Z.

Does return? when James Bonding does return Hey, bye Bye James Bonding podcast, James Bond King podcast, James Bondi podcast, Matt and, Matt and, James Bonding Podcast

Hey, this is Arnie Kemp from the Improft Fantasy podcast Hello from the Magic Tavern. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical land of food and I started a podcast. Season three has just begun

with a brand new adventure to defeat the Dark Lord. If you're a new listener or you've fallen behind season three is a great jumping on point. And we've got great guests like Justin McElroy. I sat like a fancy college professor. Fake Nats. Rachel Bloom. You all see my collection of men corpses and one woman. Felicia Day and Colton Dunn.

You've seen me have intercourse with a variety of species. It's a bummer. Andy Daly. You have the members of Genesis listed, but Phil Collins has crossed out and then circled it crossed out again. Uh, yes. I have killed Phil Collins' truce. twice. Thomas Middle Ditch.

Jesus, I mean Jarzos, ruler of the eighth circle. And that's just the beginning. Season three of a low from the magic tavern is out now. Listen in Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.