James Bonding - Bonus: Live From The London Podcast Festival!

Episode Date: July 3, 2024

It’s James Bonding, live from where it all began, England! Join Matt and Matt at the London Podcast Festival as they discuss all things 007 in front of an audience of adoring Bond enthusiasts and engage in a sporting match of ‘who’s the most British.’ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mad End, Matt and, Matt and, James Bonding Podcast. Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Matthew, Madh, Matthew, Madh, James Bonding Podcast, it's the James Bonding Podcast, it's the James Bonding podcast, it's the James Bonding podcast, it's the James Bonding podcast, with Matthews Myra and Gourley, Matthews Gourley and Myra podcast of James Bondi. This is, I don't know what to do with not holding a microphone. So if I start to fidget and look like, Hey Matt. How's it going? It's going great.

Matt Goreley, everybody. Thank you for allowing us to come to your country, two American guys to tell you about your most popular, popular franchise character. Thank you. Stay tuned for later. We'll talk about Top Gear and Doctor Who. Yes. Why have you allowed us to do this?

I think because we wore suits. We can do whatever we feel like doing. For those of you who might recognize this tie, it is from Phil Nobiel Jr. It is the Tomorrow Never Dies tie. I am ready to go knock over a satellite. Find some heroin in a safe that's never talked about. Stop somebody from getting...

exclusive broadcast rights in China. For those of you that recognize this time, it is decidedly not from Tomorrow Never Dies. Yes. Oh. What? Hey, round of applause. Who here actually likes Tomorrow Never Dies?

Round of applause. Who has a realistic sense of the world? Not as many. Yeah, you're right. All right. It's not as many people. Well, you know, we talked about what do we want to do here in London, England, the home of James Bond. The literal home.

Yeah. He has an apartment where he keeps Sylvia Trench constantly. She just seems to be there. Yeah, that's right. We thought tonight, we're going to talk about some things. We're going to talk a bit about Bond 25. There seems to be only tidbits of fact and some speculation. We're then going to do a segment on the double-o-s.

greatest moments of the American influence on the James Bond franchise. Yeah. I think you'll see we've compiled two separate lists and every moment is not good. No. It may be some of the worst moments of the franchise, but we like to celebrate those as well. And then we're going to do another segment where we discover who can, in fact, in this room, maybe one of you included, be the most British. Yeah.

It's a running segment on our show. We find the most British person in the James Bond movie. Usually it's the expert explaining gold or diamonds or satellites to James Bond, who is actually just listening to James Bond explain it. Yes. And then tightens up. James Bond is like not just a mansplanner, but like an expert spainer. He even interrupts experts and sprains over there.

He in so many ways has all of the worst qualities, yet all of the best qualities. He's an amazing character that somehow is still relevant to me. Only me. No. Look it. We're not alone. What is your favorite moment of him over explaining something when he shouldn't know what the fuck he's talking about? I think it has to be that moment.

I'm blanking. Is it Goldfinger or Diamonds Are Forever where they talk about the original vintage that the sherry was made? Oh, sure. The guy corrects him and thinks he has bond. It's like with a hint of bonbois. Yeah. You know, what about you? For me, it's when he goes to Em's house in Honor Majesty's Secret Service

and starts explaining the butterflies to him. Yeah. Because that is like literally, that's literally where Em has had enough. And like gives a look to his butler like, you should have shot him on site. He's in a room surrounded by butterflies. Yeah. And it's like, clearly the man's been doing this for 50s. 50 years, yet Bond shows up with some knowledge.

Why does he know so much? And a follow-up question. Why then when he's in the Eiffel Tower and of Udo A Kill did he not know that was a fake butterton? Good question. I also don't understand why he doesn't know more. Like, when I was flying in, we flew over the Millennium Dome, which gave us the greatest hurt acting of Pierce Brosnan's career.

And the world is not enough when he braces himself and finally has a reason to make that face, which I believe you didn't enjoy that moment, but it made the face finally, you're like, oh, that's what he's feeling. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then, like, the little silhouette of him. Yeah.

I love that, because the silhouette of him is also hurt. Because it drops, and then you just see the silhouette hold his shoulder. That's right. But he still manages to have sex with that doctor. Oh, James. Oh, James. So, I mean, let's talk about this Bond 25 situation. Let's get into it.

We are almost, we're close to one year from the release date of a movie that has no script, no director, and one guy confirmed to be in it. And just barely. And just barely. We're hearing every possible rumor that there is up to and including Daniel Craig will come back if they kill him off. Or won't. Or won't come back if they, why would they kill him? Well, wasn't that what Danny Boyle wanted to do? That'd be like going to see a Star Wars movie

where at the end, the war is actually over. You can't, there's no Star Wars without a war. Think about it. I certainly haven't. Here's what we know. And I can count it on one finger. I would watch a new Bond movie called One Finger. One Finger.

It's just this. maniacal man who lost all of his fingers. Mr. Bond. Mr. Bond, I don't think you know about the digits. I killed a man three times. Now, is Jop Gerd from Birth, Movies' Death here today? Jop, how are you? If you wouldn't mind, you can just have a seat on the edge of the stage here.

You're going to be kind of our fact checker. We have this microphone here. you. Matt, it's pleasure. Jop, how are you? Jop? Your might will work without that. I know, but I want to hold it for the minute because it projects sound

and I feel comfortable finally. We were emailing back with Phil today who has gone on to the Fangoria's of the world. This is Phil Nobiel Jr. our man in the East. He's the guy we go to for the facts. He's the only one who actually has facts. Matt and I, of course, lovers, not experts.

But at birth movies, that you have you're taking over the bond beat correct okay now I'm gonna give you the microphone because I apparently have one on my tomorrow never dies tie I'm gonna join you doing here okay I think I'll yeah can I just say this is the first podcast I've ever done oh well welcome really wow trial by fire look at it down here no yeah I don't know about that Okay, so we're going to run through some facts. That's a great Zorin Blimp shirt you got there, fella. Yeah.

One of the greatest movies ever made. That's true. That's true. Okay, so here's, here, Matt and I will sort of spout off some things that we've heard. Now I'm sitting at the edge of the stage. You can, foolishly, we have a third chair back there and could actually, we could actually make this a show. But this is fine. How about you buzz us or ding us if it's right or wrong or?

Okay. Okay. All right. To begin with, there was at least a treatment or a draft by Purvis and Wade. There was a treatment, apparently, which we're hearing from Bazbanic boy of the Daily Mail, who is usually very good, very accurate. He says that treatment was signed off either going to Eon and the executives somewhere. He's not naming sources, presumably that's MGM and Eon. Sure. Okay. That's a D.

Okay. So at some point, they had agreed on a story. But that's the question, because we've heard rumors of... of a type of reboot of On Her Majesty Secret Service and something called Shatterhand that may or may not follow the Only Live Twice novel story of Blofeld hiding out in Japan with a castle and a garden of poison flowers. Yeah. This is really hard to pick this stuff apart. Yeah. It's generally a cluster fuck.

Yeah. That's a good title. James, what do you know about cluster fuck? name, I'm going to go and do that later. Okay. Okay, so now the Purvis and Wade treatment and or script, we're hearing two different things. We'll just, for right now we'll call it the Purvis and Wade outline. Was that before Danny Boyle signed on? Apparently, yes.

That was signed off from what we understand at some point either last year or beginning of this year before John... Hodge. Hodge, thank you. My boss is making my head. John Hodge and that will revolve subsequently with some pitch. Okay. They came on board with and the lovely Bobbrook, he said, yes. But was that pitch different than the treatment or on top of that? This is so confusing.

I don't know if you... I believe it's a completely different story. Okay, it takes a while to make a movie. And we are nearly... They have to, like, they're rolling in December, right? They've had 14 months to get something together, and right now they have... Dibble. It is truly Operation Concerify.

If that little work in 14 months, I would kind of be said. If, look, okay, so here, let's look at all the ways it could go horribly wrong. Well, it seems to be hitting all of them. But, you know, the last version of this was sort of Spectre, where they never really were satisfied with the third act until they were deciding, well, we have to go shoot the third act now, so we're okay. Yeah, let's have this guy put up, have his henchman print up shitty photos of everyone James has loved and lost. Bill, you go staple them up in this room.

It'll be great. It's going to be fabulous. I'm going to go upstairs, and I'm going to stand there behind, he's not going to know him behind stuff, and he'll try to shoot me. Should we wire it for explosives? Oh, yeah, yeah, whatever you feel like. It's one of the great things about the James Bond franchise. If they put that thing together, that final act, right to the end, they're right to the end, they still managed to shut down

a huge chunk of London and stick helicopters up in the air on the Sunday night I went down to the shoots and they had lights all the way down by the tape bit of the Column gallery the helicopter was there

I think was loud but didn't my understanding was actually that was part of the reason the ending was what it was because that set piece was locked in and they had to build around it

yeah how long movies had traditionally sort of worked yeah figured out okay here's a bunch of set pieces we're going to put together so I believe

tomorrow never dies is one of those and And Shatterhand slash cluster fuck because I think they're already writing around three possible set pieces that they've invested in. And also, presumably

okay, we're hearing that the second unit has been around doing stuff. So they're looking at set pieces they can create, whatever, slot some CGI Danny Craig in. It really seems like, do you guys have Madlibs out here where you just choose a noun or a verb?

That's what they're doing at this point. So I guess my question is, do you think there's any chance of them pushing it just to make it a little better? Okay, so the other side of this is we now know that Daniel Craig is going to be working on a quickie film with Ryan Johnson, Save Your Boos, Star Wars Haters. Look, I like The Last Jedi, I'm sorry. The press release for that said that they had a window open in Daniel Craig's schedule, which they can slot this quick shoot into. I know Ryan Johnson is able to knock out a movie really quick. My suspicion is they're going to push the shoot, which was supposed to start December 9th.

Yes. Hence we've got this slightly larger window for Mr. Johnson to get into, but they're still going to hit the release date. Is that quite, whether or not that actually happens, your guess is as good as mine. Fucking a dumb idea. Is it who, who, okay, let's ask you guys, because you've dealt with purpose and ways.

longer than us. Are they... Are they good? Well, that's been the question, right? Sometimes. That's what we don't, we still don't know. But for me, it feels like the only one that they have slapped their names on together

and you didn't hear about any rewrites or other writers coming in to fix anything was die another day. Classic Bond film. What's the problem? Well, you know, mad, I just felt like it had a, if they're unchecked, we end up with, you know, the Ashton Martin vanish.

But let's break this down for a second. Okay. We hear reports are that what we all thought might have been Paul Haggis on Casino Royale was actually possibly more purpose in wait and that Haggis was more responsible for that Venetian house ending. And... The second ending of the movie, yeah. They were purportedly out of Skyfall, then brought back.

No, they were brought back on for Spector, right? To save Spector. Well, they did not. And now they're being brought back after John Hodge and Danny Boyle have left for this, even though they were there in the beginning, and they're now working on their own treatment. But we still... I've also heard reports that that is partially still the Danny Boyle version.

So this episode tonight is pointless. What are we to believe? Does anyone, round of, here's, I love this, because we have an audience here now. We never have an audience. We just have your cat. Round of applause, if you think that Purvis and Wade coming back is a good thing. That's Wade. That is Robert Wade.

Crazy his Purvis is here. Also, sitting right now doesn't agree that it's a good idea. Okay, that tells me everything I need to know. I'm also terrified. But do we have facts? You know, I'm not ready to give up on these guys. I honestly, I was ready to give up on them in 1999. But they give me that Pierce Brousen heard acting.

I guess I was on board. I just don't know. If they end up, it's such a... Cluster fuck is ripe. That's what we're going to call Bond 25 Cluster Fuck until it comes out. Thank you. I think my contribution. I'm from Hayvonne.

Yes. Jopgard from Birth Movies. ladies gentlemen. Thank you. Appreciate it, John. Thank you. Thank you, Jeff. Thank you, sir. Well, all I can say is I'm not feeling great about it. I thought I'd come here and they'd be like,

it's gonna be fine, we love Purvis and Wade. Turns out they agree with us. Yeah, it's, the clock is ticking. Look at, this guy's in a goldfinger jacket. Well, sir. It doesn't excuse you being light. You know, unless you were wearing a wetsuit here and then pulled down. He just got up on a houseboat, unzipped, came up.

That's fantastic, sir. So, look, I don't, since they seemingly have no ideas for Bond 25, I figure why don't you and I just run through what we think might happen. Okay. All right. So here's what we're going to need, guys. We're going to need because of the post, you know, we're in an era, post-me-2. So we'll hop on the Danny Boyle post-Me-2 train, right?

We're going to see that concept out. We're going to see that concept out, so we're going to have to, I'm saying let's get a female bond villain in there. Okay. Yeah, that sounds great. I mean, that has proved successful in the past. I think Carmen Electra. Carmen Electra was never.

But I like where your head's at, an older woman. Yeah, so. Carmen Electra King, yes, from the world is not enough. Cindy Crawford. And, yeah. Sidney Crosby? Electric King. Okay, yes, Electric King.

Sophie Marsau was very good, a good part of a movie that overall is not the worst. I'd put her as one of the highest points of the Brosnan era. That's very confusing to me. Why would you do that when you have Michelle Yeo? I'd put her up there, too. Elliot Carver. You're losing me.

He was ahead of his time. I'm going to say it again. I think the villain, Tomorrow never dies villain, right? This media mogul, it's like, you know, it's a very now thing. Whoever controls the news controls everything. That's why you got dumb dumb back home

saying fake news all the time. We don't like them. Speak for yourself. He's a great American. I've been tipping everybody out here and they all look confused and I go, it's an American thing, please allow us to have the only good thing about us.

I think the key is you say you're from California and not America. Oh, is that what I say? Should I do that? That's what I'm told. Is that true? Yeah. Would you, if someone said, I'm from California, would you breathe a little easier? Okay. Well, I mean, Zorin was from California.

Yeah, I think technically he was from Nazi Germany. Tomato. Tomato. These days? Okay. He tries to sink Silicon Valley. Again, I don't understand that plot. We've talked about it before.

James Bond plots are not for understanding. Okay? They're for enjoyment. What's the simplest ABCD James Bond movie plot? I don't know that there is one. Is it something as simple as like license to kill? Because no, then they start turning Coke to gasoline. Yeah.

Like you're always like, It's always like you're just decorating a house, and all of a sudden someone decides that a giant old wrench is great for the wall. And you're like, what? What is that? What is this analogy here? Well, it's about throwing wrenches into things,

which is I feel like what they often do. There is no... Yeah. I think the simpler, the better. Maybe Dr. No for that reason. Yeah. Yeah? Well, Dr. No is great.

From Russia with Love, I think, is also spectacularly simple. But it's got some... But not crazy twists, just good twists. Yes, but logical linear twists. It's not like twists where this guy's hot air balloon has a death slide. Bon 25. Well, what if it accidentally turns into slide mode? And then you have to worry about your dismount.

Let me ask you this about Bon 25. What do you think about this rumored title, Shatterhand? I like a Shatterhand. It seems very... There was an old Nintendo game called Shatterhand. A Bond movie, right? A game, wasn't it? No, it was just a game with a guy punching the screen.

Oh, yes, that's right. When I googled that right before the show, that came up. Sure. It did. I like the name... I like these one-word bond titles, like a gold finger and a skyfall. I like the name Spector. I thought that was a great name.

Yeah. The end. We were so... excited about that movie when it came out. We were... We had just, like, taken the biggest rip from the James Bond Bong of all time.

The James Bong. The James Bond. Yeah. Bong, James Bong. Listen, Shatterhand is interesting because if... It possibly provides some clues. Because in the novel, you only live twice, that is the alias of Blofeld

who's gone into hiding in Japan. Dr. Guntram Shatterhand. And he... No joke. He's living in a... with poison flowers in the garden where Japanese people go to kill themselves. All right. I didn't write it. A little someone named Ion Flimel.

And that sort of says to me that maybe they're going to continue with the Blofelds, which we now know that Christoph Waltz is not doing that, so... But it's also okay because they always would recast a Blofeld anyway, so I don't mind. Plus, I've grown to be very... I'm waltzing away from Christoph at this point. I feel like he does one thing very well, and that is act like Christoph Waltz. Yes.

Milk. I'm back on board, actually. Can I have a glass of your delicious milk? He was the least waltzy inspector when I wanted him the most waltzy. Yeah, I wanted a little more quirk rather than... He was four-four time when he should have been three-four-fork.

four-time. Yes. Or 7-5. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Dave Matthews band, they'll sometimes throw a 7-6-time signature at you. Come on. Do you guys have a Dave Matthews band out here? Would you like one? We'll give you ours.

It's so sad. They're called the Matthew Davies band. No. No? No. All right. Let's, let's, so we've got a female villain. That sounds good. We've got a title, shatter-hand. Look, I'm loving this. whole castle full of poisonous flowers.

It's exotic. I'm into it for a minute. Should we, what should the bad person's plan be? Gardening. Okay. Green thumb is what it's called. Let's just, what if we took this a whole other way, and they were really into baking, okay?

And they decided the quickest way to win money was to win the Great British Bake Off. That's their villains plan? Well, it's just as doable as anything. Is anything, that's why I'm sad. It's on tonight, isn't it? When is the Great British Bake-up on? Tuesdays.

All right, I wasn't going to see it anyway. I was, like, sad. We're a season behind in the States where they have to call it the baking show because Pillsbury owns the term bake-off in the U.S. What? So, when they win, they can never show the plate. I'm not kidding. Like, you watch it at home, and it's like, you've won the Great British,

and then you'll hear Noel say, baking show. And the plate's always hidden from view. That's so stupid. Yeah, it's one of the stupid things that I love about this whole relationship we have with the UK. Our special relationship. Yeah. That's right. You guys send us your wonderful things and we ruin them somehow.

We do. You know, they don't even show... Here's another thing they don't show. I'm going to tell you the differences. Tonight's podcast is about the differences between the bake-off in the U.S. and here. they don't show the historical context for whatever they're baking. Like, you know the thing where they wander off and they all of a sudden are making waffles in Germany? Wait.

Yeah, it's devastating, right? That's why America's fucking stupid. Even on Netflix, they're like, oh, they won't have the patience to watch how a strupe waffles made. They get it. They know what I'm talking about. I do too. They remember that season. in the interest of shitting on our own country

let's talk about the most American moments in James Paul oh Matt that is a wonderful segue I wrote them down on my telephone I wrote them down on a pub napkin he did I had a Guinness he ordered a Coke yeah well I had to wake up that's what Guinness does for me

so we thought that we would think through the franchise and whenever the American style or just tone of American filmmaking or culture entered into bond almost exclusively in a negative way, when you can just really feel it the most. And you guys may think of some others, so maybe we can take the temperature of that after. But do you have any honorable mentions before we start with number seven? Yeah, I do have the most honorable of mentions. I think it's the casting of Terry Hatcher. Yeah, that's pretty good. It was,

At the time, our most American asset, and we sent it to do some damage in England. So, yeah, Paris Carver, aka Terry Hatcher, because there's so many things I don't buy about this casting of Terry Hatcher. First of all, her name being Paris, second of all, that she went to school with James Bond. Right. Yeah, I didn't buy that. I guess then I have two quick honorable mentions because I didn't think of that. I knew there were going to be things I didn't think of.

So Denise Richards would be in that vein for me. Oh, God. What? We export the finest material to the people. I left her off the list. Yeah, I did too until you said that. And then my other honorable mention would be when Bond escapes in that moon buggy through the desert. That's just both the American desert and like stale space race at that point.

It's like 1971. Yeah, we had been to the moon like seven times and weren't riding anything as stupid-looking. is that. Yes. All right. The moon buggy's a great one. Okay, so we're going from worst to best? Yeah, well, like, well, least offensive to most offensive. To whom? Us? As Americans? Well, maybe least significant to

the most American. I have it. I have it. Okay. Thing we are most apologetic for. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So now that that's how the list is ordered, here we go. Okay. I would like to take this opportunity United Kingdom to apologize for the gator bar

and license to kill. You know, Roadhouse was popular at the time. We just thought, wow, everyone's gonna love a bar fight with a shotgun involved, and no. The only thing I do like about that is it is such a set that it makes me feel like a stunt show's about to happen.

It just feels artificial in a good way. Like a stunt spectacular. Like an old West where there's a... sheriff that rolls in. Or like the Miami Vice one. They used to have at Universal Studios. Now that is an American export. Yeah. I'll put my name on. Guys. If you're not

familiar with the Miami Vice stunt spectacular. It's on YouTube. Check it out. It's like on YouTube in three parts because someone filmed it in like 1994 with a standard definition video camera. And he went back three times with new tapes each time. Okay, so Matt,

you're number seven? My number seven is the CGI in Die Another Day. That just feels like the first time that Bond stops being practical and tries to compete with Hollywood-level CGI

and then just fails miserably. Well, I think the reason it failed so miserably because the time frame they make these movies in. It seems like they don't even get a script ready until it's four months from release. There's no time for post-production. And you're referring specifically to

Pierce Brosnan kite surfing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Off an iceberg. That's the one. Yeah. They do post-production the evening before the premiere.

Are you dressed, honey? Yes. All right, let's do some quick punch-up. Here we go. Okay, so then I will now apologize. Sixth, the least offensive thing, until most offensive. I would like to apologize for diamonds or forever, particularly Plenty O'Toole. You're going to find this film comes in a lot.

Yeah, I mean, look, you guys, no one talks like that. No one says, hi, I'm plenty. Plenty O'Toole. If her name was Plenty O'Toole, she probably wouldn't lead with it. She'd probably just call herself Pam at some point after being mocked mercilessly through school. But yeah, yeah, so I apologize for Lana Wood as Plenty O'Toole. Number six for me is also from Diamonds or Forever.

Interesting. What I would like to apologize for is blow up your pants. Because it somehow comes across as incredibly American, and yet no one's ever heard that before. That's not an American saying. We don't go around telling people to blow up their pants. It's literally, it has been said once, and it was during that take. Yeah.

That's like there, there is a. phrase in an Ian Fleming James Bond book where they're either talking about a woman is heavily in love with a man or a man is head over heels for a woman and he uses the term cow simple she was cow simple for him and I have

Googled that through time immemorial and I've never seen it used anywhere else but I love that term has anyone heard that term before? No, is anyone cow simple for anyone? Has Neil Purvis heard that? No Okay, cow simple. Okay, I like it. All right.

The next thing I'd like to apologize for is the, seemingly, I would describe them as inept CIA agents sent to watch Bond drink mint juleps. It's happened in Kentucky, dead center of America, and I just, I apologize. I apologize for even having James Bond have to drink a mint julep. I forgot one now that you mention it.

It's that Kentucky Fried Chicken is in a James Bond movie. In Goldfinger, you see the Kentucky Fried Chicken behind them. Well, they're in Kentucky. I know, but there's nothing more American than Kentucky Fried Chicken. I know, but they were probably like, let's get value for money

here, let them know we're in Kentucky. What could we drive by? Yeah. Sir, there's the fried chicken joint. Cubby then says, great job. Okay. My number five that I'd like to apologize for is when, In Casino Royale, when Bond is driving a little Ford rent-a-car

in the Bahamas. What is it, a fiesta? No, it's a Ford Mondeo, which probably isn't even an American version of a Ford car. But it just feels... No, the Mondeo is out here. Yeah. Yeah, we don't have those. It's still, I apologize.

We apologize for the Ford Mondeo. I apologize for you. There's a number of other Fords. We would also like to apologize. But you guys have to tell you. some responsibility for some of your previous cars. Okay, now, oh, here's another thing I'd like to apologize for. Jimmy Dean is Walter White.

Willard White, Willard White, not Walter White. That'd be a different thing altogether. As we do when we're doing these, we can't talk about that yet. We're going to not talk about, I believe, Jimmy Dean might come up on Matt's list. And then we'll apologize together. What's your next one, bud? My number four, though I like this moment, is the, Diamonds or Forever car tilt

because it feels so pandering to the Bert Reynolds audience that that was just such a... But the Bert Reynolds audience had... That was first. I know it was before smoking the bandit, but there still was like when was Gator? Yep. Okay. I think

also I think after. Okay, well... It feels like Bert, I stole a lot from diamonds or her, but I also here's why we should apologize for it. It's a foolish effect because an entire crew, and on a movie, I'm talking to 300 people are watching this thing happen.

The car goes in one way, comes out the other, no one noticed, until they cut it together and had to put the scene in where they go. Then I apologize for that. Yeah, we apologize. Okay. Now, here's a, here's the one I'm going to apologize for. You must have, Sheriff, J.W. Pepper.

He's my number three as well. He's your number three as well? Well, let's talk about him. Clifton James. I love him. Yeah. And there are times in Live and Lud Die where I'm like, okay. But most of the time it's pretty jarring.

And this is pre-Burt Reynolds and Smoking the Bandit, too. I think we're learning a lot about where Smoky and the band it came from. Yeah, yeah. It came from the James Bond franchise. Thanks. But we talked about this. Was this also a riff on Cool Hand Luke in a way? Because there's that sheriff in Cool Hand Luke that...

Well, it's usually a riff on whatever the most popular movie was the year before. Yeah. Which in The Man with the Golden Guns case was Living or Die. And that's what they put him in the map. Yeah, but I mean, look, he's so bombastically... You know, that's also how we view Southerners. Weirdly. It's like, oh, there's a sheriff whose gut is huge,

who thinks he's better than everyone. Yeah, it's a stereotype that is real. I mean, that exists. Look, Matt, all great stereotypes come from real things. My wife's Jewish, so. No, my mind. Whole thing. His performance is so strange because it's all recorded later in ADR,

but it still has the same energy, but it somehow doesn't match up. So his body's physical, but his voice is still very... I mean, think of the irony of his cousin having the fastest boat, and somehow that boat being taken for the chase. It's just, it's amazing that that is... He's terrible, and we apologize. I don't think he's terrible. I think he's just out of place.

I like some of clap your hands if you like J.W. Pepper. Sir, in the front row, had to put his drink down. To be sure to register his opinion for J.W. Pepper. Now that's democracy. Thank you. That's your civic duty. Thank you.

So, okay, look, J.W. Pepper, I just think it's so cartoonish that it is akin to, like... A kind of snoo of name, majeet. Feels like he's here. He is. Boy. Boy. And then for him to like, for them to go, he was so great.

We have to have him on vacation in the Philippines. Secret. Also, not only is he on vacation in the Philippines, but during this vacation, he decides to stop into the AMC dealership to check out the new pacer. And have it shipped home? It doesn't make any sense. but I do know that it can go around in a circle in the air to a slide whistle

it's the stupidest moment in movies like there's no reason for a slide with you're right those are both stupid or of course pigeons I was talking to someone who was writing a James Bond book and he had interviewed Yafat Koto who lives in the Philippines and told me that he was 100% serious he had a treatment for another Bond film where Cananga lives and has pitched it to Barbara Broccoli, and he's dead serious about it,

and I would love to see that. I would be just stunned if he ever leaves his house again. Yafin Koto also is very fearful that the aliens are coming back for him. If you don't know this, he truly believes he was abducted by aliens at a younger age.

This got real serious. Are you guys okay? Have you? Raise your hand if you've seen an alien. No hands went up. Oh, there's one. He's an alien? He pointed to his friend.

I would watch, I guess I would watch him be Yaffa. I would watch Yafikoto be Kananga again. But again, I'm going to need a balloon explanation at some point. Why he survived that? Well, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's pretty clear. If you look at the, if you look at the, if you look at really even the third image,

I mean, it's just like there's no coming back from that. And then I'm just going to go ahead and point to the fourth one. There's a lot of him around. I think you're making my case, friend. Again, a pigeon would not care about a gondola on the land. So much so that the pigeon would not have. have to consider what he saw to look back one more time. Also, a man wouldn't inflate with a shark bullet.

Well, shark bullets are fake and pigeons are real, so I have science to back me up. Matt, what's your number two? My number two is cocaine. Specifically licensed to kill and everything that surrounds that. The Michael Kamen's score, just the feel. even the like cinematography, everything about that movie feels like it's from the lethal weapon franchise in a way.

You know, something like... Yeah, look, I think it's very 80s. You know, it's very late 80s actiony where you're, every villain was a drug dealer of some sort. And then, of course, they throw... Not only do they... They're like, how do we make this a James Bond movie about a drug dealer?

Let's add Wayne Newton. As a... I still don't know. What is he doing? Is he funding? this operation? He's the front. He's like the long money.

But why do they need a front? They're already selling gasoline cocaine. Shouldn't it be a gas station? Yes. It should be a gas station, not a televangelist. Sorry, petrol. Were you going to say something about Wayne Newton? Oh, no.

I was going to say, there's something unbond about cocaine. Heroin works. It seems. And believe me, it works. Cocaine just feels, I don't know, it feels cheap. Well, it's not classy enough, you know? I feel like when you're watching... Not the heroin is classy, but it's at least more sinister.

Look at the street price. You're going to spend more on some heroin, right? So, you know, Bond always should have the best. I agree. Yeah, it just... Cocaine just doesn't work, but it's very 80s, so I see why it's in there. Yeah. Yeah.

So we apologize for that. We're sorry about the cocaine thing. I would like to personally take this opportunity to apologize for Joe Don Baker as Wade. I don't know if they just didn't feel like bringing Felix Leiter back or if they were just like, let's put this guy in again. Felix Lider, though. Jeffrey Wright, that's probably the best thing America has contributed to the franchise. Yes, you're welcome. Yeah.

Jack Lord with his lady sunglasses, you know, very iconic. Yeah. Throwing, getting people thrown into boxes of red stripe. I mean, it's just, it's the Jamaican beer. But Joe Don Baker, as Wade, I don't understand the character. And is Brad Whitaker in Living Daylights? Who was, what did he have on the Broccoli? I know.

That's a good question. Was he like, be ashamed if this got out, Cubby? There's a few people like that, even J.W. Pepper, and we can now, if we want, segue to my number one, which is Jimmy Dean, the sausage king. Well, you can segue to your number one. We'll talk about it, but I'm just going to very briefly mention my number one. I'm sorry about Wolf Blitzer's cameo in Skyfall. Oh, yeah. That's good. I honestly don't know if that was just on the American release. Is he at the bar watching CNN? Yeah. He is, and it's Wolf Blitzer. I'm sorry.

Yeah. What a weird thing. Yeah. That took me out of it. But now, let's discuss Jimmy Dean the Sausage King. Okay, so I don't know how much of Jimmy Dean you had over here, but we had him in different phases in the United States. He was originally a country singer.

Then he released a line of breakfast sausages. Jimmy Dean's breakfast sausages. Then he played a part in the James Bond movie. But there is a song worth looking up, and it's called Dear Ivan. and it is a spoken word country song where he talks to what would be his counterpart in the Soviet Union saying, I know our countries are at war.

But when I go to bed at night, I sit there and think that even though they tell us you are godless heathens, somewhere down deep you know like I do that there is a god. We pray to that same God and that if we were to meet together on the street, one day we would meet as friends and not as enemies like our governments would have us be. And underscoring music is America the Beautiful.

And that is Jimmy Dean. And then in the 80s, there were all these TV commercials of like a family eating sausage in the morning. And it would cut to him going like, have your sausage. And then here he is in Diamonds or Forever. And yet I still somehow like him in this movie. Oh, I think he's very good in the movie as, whatever he's supposed to be. I guess he's like Howard Hughes, right?

Yeah, he's supposed to be like Howard Hughes. He's a magnate who hasn't been seen in a long time. But why Jimmy Dean? Why would you put him in that role? Other people might have been busy, or they were looking for a break on the breakfast catering. But they were obviously taking major turns

specifically with Diamonds or Forever because that was the one that was rumored to have almost starred Bert Reynolds. It's the one that's got Mr. Winton, Mr. Kid, to two odd Americans. Well, we didn't apologize for them. They're great. There's no apology needed. Yeah. Yeah.

But that would be for me, Jimmy Dean is the strangest American moment. Well, it is just so odd. Jimmy Dean is still around today, not the person, but the sausage. It's fun to say. It's a fun sentence to say. It's free sausage night tonight. You're going to get one on your way out. No, but it's, you know, they've expanded to a line of breakfast sandwiches. You know, so if you just, if you're ever in America and you're like, boy, I should. should grab something for the hotel.

Tell them Jimmy Dean's, yeah. Tonight when you go home, go to your computer. Yeah. Uh-huh. Go to google.com. Or dot.com.

Or dot,k.org. Whatever. Yeah. I prefer you use our version of it. We get hits. Okay? Google needs hits. Uh,

and then Google Jimmy Dean sausage commercials and Jimmy Dean, Dear Ivan. And then thank me never. Okay. The sausage commercials are genuinely, I mean, he's quite a guitar player, so they'll do some picking, and then start

talking about what goes into a Jimmy Dean breakfast sausage. Yeah. God, I love him. Yeah. I'm sorry. That's all right. Okay, this brings us to our third segment, and what we need to do to begin is to find the person in this room who is the most British. Now, you could be nominated by the person sitting next to you, or you could just feel like you are the most British person here. Truly the most British person would already be standing. Yeah. So already... We're using the British term as a catch-all.

We know, you know... Look, what we're looking for is either a cognac expert or an expert in F1 racing. Things you guys like. Oh. I didn't know if you were raising your hand. Oh, you fixed your hair, not British. You're a what?

You're a what? You're a Dr. Hoo fan. That's pretty British. pretty good. We've got a nomination here. What do you feel like your Bonifides? But not bourbon. Okay, oh, and well responded. Oh, he's a contender. Yeah, we've got a hand up back here in the third to last row. Which town? We don't understand this local comedy you're doing. Yes, sir. No shit. Oh, you See, I don't even know what you just said.

Should we bring him in the whiskey for a final? But we don't. Should we have two microphones? Should we have, I, we only have one. Yeah. But I think there's an extra microphone in the house that we can use as well. Is that right?

Yeah. Okay. There we go. Great. Let's bring those two up. Yeah. And then I want you guys also to start thinking of questions, because we're going to do a little bit of a Q&A with you guys.

If you have any questions for us regarding the James Bonfranes. and or Matt's personal life, whatever. What? That's weird. I'm a Gemina. All right. Okay, so, sir, let's go. Whiskey lover, come on up.

All right, here. And should we use both of them or a... Okay, so guys, you are welcome to... Come on up, come on stage. First of all, the Shingon thing I didn't know was real. Very excited. Yes, we're doing on. should verify this.

No, no, I want to see this. We're going to need both of your driver's licenses. Yet he's wearing, you're wearing an Amity Police Department. That's Jaws. That's very Boston-y. And he's got a polo. Oh, guys, stop wearing American clothing. All right.

Timothy St. John. Yeah, we would read that as St. John, and we'd be wrong. Fucking belowing my mind. Well, that's perfect. Timothy Singeon, Iardale. I'm very nearly Rupert. Oh.

Oh, my God. Rupert Sinjan, Iardale has stars. I'm rather grateful to some friends and my parents. Do you know my second runner-up name was literally going to be Ian? My mom told me. Oh, well, Ian's pretty good, but it's not Rupert's Shingon, Irelandale. Nothing is. All right.

Iardale feels like a place I want to get lost in and find fair. I'm trying to hand these down. Okay. And what's your name? Hugo Francis Lodge Hugo Francis Lodge. Hugo Francis Lodge. Singenobly Blahable.

No, no, no. Francis Lodge are the middle names. My surname is Burtle. Hugo, Francis Lodge, Berville. Okay. This is ridiculous. Wow. This is, like, if I was like,

if I'm, like, say I'm at work and I'm writing an episode of the Goldberg's and we're like a British character comes in, and I were to say, I have the perfect name. What is it? Well, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, not gonna work, not believable, too well, no. It's like, I can't have come up with a better, well done gentlemen, so,

you're through the first hurdle. Yes, you two get to stay. Yeah. And we actually have a third competitor, but strangely I have to run, okay? Walter P.P. Yeah, okay. Matt, do you miss anything? Okay, guys, he has a mental break with reality.

He doesn't know he's Matt Gourley. But, so he's going to come. I believe we have here to participate in the Who's the Most British? Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to welcome from the Great Beyond. What we assume is probably from below. Ian, are you ready? The apple. How'd you all you?

Oh, look at these fine young boys. Any chance called Rupert or something like that? Feel free to communicate with his ghost. He can hear you. I can hear you in... What now, say again? Good evening, Mr. Fleming. Good evening, tut-tut, cheerio, chip-chip, wishy was and all that, don't you see?

Could I pour a little bit of this vodka gin mix in here? Yes. Just a little gordon. It is. You know what? Yeah, vodka gin it is. Now, gentlemen, I do... Are you both...

Are you both familiar with the works of Sir Ian Fleming? He was never a sir. Yes. Do you have any questions about the James Bond franchise you'd like to get from the man who created it? Do you have anything you'd like to ask him? I'm all ears and a lot of cirrhosis. Why so anti the gays?

I thought I was fairly kind to them. empty the gaze. You know, I never thought about it because it just simply isn't done. I mean, it's done. I've done it, but it isn't done. It isn't talked about. It isn't worn on one sleeve

like the phlegm coming out of your mouth after a hundred cigarettes a day. I don't know, you know, I suppose. It's just sort of, how should I put it, wronger? And I'm forward thinking, don't you know? I have people of all kinds in my books, and I always elevate them to the highest status.

Never looking down on any subset of culture whatsoever. That's me, old boy. Next question. Well, that's... Thank you for the answer, Mr. Fleming. Now, I'm just here because I think you consider yourself to be quite British, right? Well, you know, I'm dyed in the wool and all that sort of thing.

I was given a bottle for... full of vodka's the moment I was born. I was put in a basionette and rocked to the tune of Rule Britannia. Well, we found two people who may, in fact, be more British than yourself, sir. Can't be done. Go ahead and try.

Better men than you have tried and better men than you have perished. I am ready. I will take all comers. I've gone there, before. Let's just start with some basics. Are you both, do you enjoy, do you have

a particular football club that you're rude for? You're here at the James Bonding podcast, there's a good chance you don't. No. I'm a Formula One man, actually. You're a Formula One man, okay, and you, sir? Chelsea, but I don't really follow football. Answer, first of all, because everyone knows it's cricket. The three-day kind.

There's a three-day kind of cricket? That's the only kind old boy. Three days. You put on your big V-neck sweater that droops down to your navel so people can see everything. Nothing underneath except your wispy, gray, tan chest hair,

flapping in the wind like the flags over St. Paul's Cathedral. He's been dead for a while. Have I now? Okay, so you're a cricket man. Cricketing, yes. Favorite beverage to order in a pub. Oh. Oh, I mean, you can have a real answer.

You don't have to have like the most British answer. Before or after dinner. Oh, it's a, it's... Wrong. Get rid of dinner and now we're talking. So, let's go ahead and say post-dinner. Oh, that much. whiskey.

Whiskey. Yes. A particular brand of whiskey you like. Bowmore is always reliable. It's reliable. Bone Morris? I'd like it to be called

Bone Morris. Actually, Bone Earthmore is where I'm at. Thank you, Mr. Fleming. Yes, I'm ready to answer whenever you'll have it. So what would you preferred beverage. I'd probably just have a pint.

Yeah. Of what? Maybe cider. Yeah. Okay, I had a cider this morning. I appreciate you. I drink a cider drink. I drink a logger drink.

I do get, in fact, get knocked down, but there is a coda. Yeah, but like, I'm asking, do you sing songs that remind you of both good and bad times? Oh, dear boy. I, here's what I do. I take a tumbler of Gordon's gin, mix it with Hendricks gin.

Then I have some gin that Grandmama used to have and her gin addict. I mix that in with a bathtub of vodka. I take a little lemon peel and shave some zest on that, and I go put that outside so as to not taint what I'm having inside. Then I pour in some verrimuth,

some Kino lily, some regular lily. Uh-huh. Then I play Kino, the gambling game, for a while, and then I put some just straight up aviation fuel in there. Mix in a couple of Chesterfield cigarettes.

And then ring, I do an Indian burn on my, arm to wring out some of the alcohol sweat that I have because you've heard of like a twice baked potato. If you can, in fact, imbibe your own alcoholic sweats, it is distilled down to its greatest potency. Very much like, have you ever heard how rabbits eat their own defecation? All right.

And that's a true story. That is... That is... Mr. Fleming, that is a great drink. And then that's what I have. Okay, so let's just, we'll go real simple. What's your ideal Sunday morning? Let's just hear that.

You know, because back in the States, we're big into the NFL. I don't know if you've seen these banners that we've stuck in Piccadilly. We're trying to get the NFL over here for some reason. So we like a good morning of like, you know, you get up, you drink a coffee, you watch some sports, you just, you know, you just sort of really. Make sure no one is kneeling for the national anthem. That's what we do as Americans. So, like, what's your ideal Sunday morning like, guys? Let's start with you, sir.

I like him. I like him. That's already very British. Do you think when you're older, you'll actually go, ha-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-d. It does happen. Get up, get dressed for church, Go to church.

Look at this. Get back. Wrong. Mr. Fleming, you'll have your turn. Sorry, sorry. I've just come from the afterlife and I can tell you it doesn't do a damn thing. And then a nice bit of breakfast.

Yeah, yeah. What's in this breakfast? Do you have a blood sausage? Do you have a... Do you have a... Until today, I had never heard of Jimmy Dean. What's different about a breakfast sausage? breakfast sausage from a normal sausage.

The time you eat it. First of all, yes. Second of all, in the United States, we have a rainbow of sausage, okay? Now, there are your morning, you know, you get your morning sausage, usually like a maple, you know? Maybe a little rosemary in the sausage. We're big on shoving things into intestines in the United States. Your evening

sausage is more like your German sausage, you know, like a, or a kibasa, or, you know, we just have a variety of sausages. But in the morning we tend to go maple, like a turkey, or we do turkey sausage out there too. Guys, come on over. I'll take you to Sausage Town. What's a breakfast sandwich?

Hang on, he had another question about besides Sausage Town. A breakfast sandwich? Is this not a thing out here? No. Are you serious? What the fuck does McDonald's cook in the morning for you guys? Is there not an egg McMuffin out here? There we go.

That is a breakfast sandwich. It is a traditional American dish of laziness. And go-getemness. We need to have our breakfast able to have in one hand so that we may drive to pray to the flag. When can I get? What's your ideal Sunday, Mr. Fleming? Well, I wake up sometime around Sunday evening at 7 p.m.

I make myself a breakfast of yoghurt. Green figs, coffee black. I pour myself a giant tumbler of gin. And then I pour myself a giant bathtub of gin, but there's time to drink but to bathe in. You know, nothing cleans you so well as alcohol, you see, because it kills everything, including yourself. And then I go,

to bed with a wo man. Do you know the kind? They're like men, but daintier and more petite. They are more fragile. They are certainly to be condescended to it all times. Now, Mr. Fleming, we don't, we don't talk like that anymore.

It's just not, it's not, it's not appropriate. Are we more brash and open about it? Well, no, we've just come as a society. We've just come to realize that we should all be treated the same. Oh, what? Yes, I'm mean women, and even lesbians, gay, every, every shade of... Is he having a laugh? No, it's, we're very into this now.

It's a whole, it's a whole thing we're trying. What do you mean we? I mean, like society. Me too? Yes. Well, I say good for them. Everybody deserves a fighting chance. That's the British way, as long as you do it our way.

Specifically my way. Yes. Now, what do you think of the character of James Bond that you created? Jammin' Bonn. Let's see. Well, I guess my question for you is how do you think, How do you think he will exist in this world where we're treating people a bit more equally than, say?

Well, you know, white straight males have always headed tough. And if it's not getting any easier, that only creates more conflict, which is good for the business of storytelling, you see. You have to have a conflict to have an ending, and you can't have an ending without a beginning, and if you don't have a beginning, you don't have a middle, and if you don't have a beginning, a middle, and an end, you don't

have a breakfast sandwich, you know. You have to have a bun, a meat, and a bun. And so it's a bun and a bun, you're beginning and end. Two buns. Now see, we're getting somewhere. Anyway, that's where I come down on that. Thank you. Okay, so I guess let's, the most, if you had to now, Ian, you're going to go last on this, and this is sort of going to be my final question. Right. Now, besides your names, you all have very British-sounding names.

What would you say is the most British thing about you? Think about it. Do you have, do you really get into the royal family? Do you, do you, do you have a commemorative plate from the birth of a George or a, do you watch bargain hunt? Maybe cash in the attic, Dickerson's Rod deal. I watch them all. I'm really sad about Tim Wanacott

and being no longer on Bargain Hunt. We'll get into that later. If anyone wants to talk to me about Bargain Hunt, seriously, I'd be delighted. Okay. My favorite antiques expert is Jontie Herndon. Thank you. Now, anyway, what do you think?

That's the most British thing about me is my love of antiquing shows. I do stand for the nationalized. anthem. Yes. And I did queue on my own for about three hours to file past the Queen Mum when she was lying in state. That's very British. Very British, very British. Really now? I'll tell her you said hello. Yes, we've been having a right good time. Now there's a woman who knows what she wants. And it isn't me. Though I've tried.

Same question. I'm not sure I can top the Queen Mother. Yeah. I couldn't either. Say on stage. Yeah. I have a painting of the Battle of Waterloo hanging over there. Very much respects the royal family, I think.

Yeah. Well, yeah, yeah. Well, we still have to hear Mr. Fleming. It's between the three of you. Well, yeah. No, no, no. Guys, faces. This is the most British thing I've ever seen.

You're arguing about whether seeing the Queen Mother in state or having a Battle of Waterloo painting. Anyway, okay, Mr. Fleming, what would you say is the most British thing about yourself? Well, aside from having myself walked by the Queen lying in state and walking by her every day in the afterlife, and having not just the painting of Waterloo in my loo, I have a full diorama recreation of the Battle of Waterloo. which I fight in a recreation in heaven almost weekly. Do you ever invite Trafalgar over there? I'm just saying I've already got that beat. Okay, all right.

I always, and without fail, have undergarments made of Harris Tweed no matter how the chafe, no matter how they scrub up against my turn balls in asser. I'm so British, I can't even explain it to you regular Brits. Do you know what I mean? Do you know that there is a so British club that you wouldn't know about unless you're in it?

And only I can tell you about it because I've passed on, you know? Does anybody here know of it? Does it fears not, Mr. Fleming? Damn. Look, I have to say, Mr. Fleming, you've lost to these two. How dare you? You're about to win

just by showing how indignant I can be as a British person. If you need to get out, I understand. Demand respect. If I had a glove, I'd slap you with it. I'm leaving, and if there isn't anything more British than that, I don't know what...

So long, Mr. Fleming! Gentlemen, I'm going to call it, I'm going to call it a tie between the two of you, and, uh, let's see, here. Hang on, hang on. That's, no, that's American. That's not going to do you any good. Split this five pound now.

Hang on. There might be, there might be something else in here. Oh, whoa, who, who, who, who, who, no need to split. There you go. Thank you, gentlemen, so much. I'll take those back. A pleasure. Have a drink on the James Bonding podcast.

Okay. Finally feel comfortable. Hey, Matt, hey, welcome back. You're not going to believe this. What? Ian Fleming was here. Come on. No, seriously, he was sitting right here, and he lost.

He was not nearly as, we had a British off while you were gone. You would have really liked it. Oh, man, that's too bad. But Ian Fleming, we taught him a lot about how to treat people. Yeah. And I think he took away nothing. from it. That was super fun. I do, we do have time for a Q&A, a little section here. If anyone has any questions for us regarding my love of everything, there's a bunch of people's hands going up, and we have a microphone that can be passed to you guys. We'll start with you because it's

wait, no, wait. She's, we have already. You go second. Hello. Hello. Hi, what's your name? Name's Graham. Graham, welcome to the show. We have already. I'm welcome to the show. Thank you for coming and seeing the stupidity unfold in front of you. Hashty can't hang a blue. Nice. Oh, yeah. I see how it goes. You bought the wrong shirt, but yeah.

I've got both. So my question is, with the inevitable Bond reboot, how do you feel about going back to the 60s treating it as period so we can actually do some spy work? Love it. I wish they'd do it. Well, you know, I always have a lot of fun where they're trying to solve problems in a world where cell phones exist.

You know? And what I don't like now, and why I think that might be the way to go, is at this point, there's so much surveillance around, and now Bond has someone in his ear constantly. So I do like the idea of getting back to basics, but I also wonder how will that movie do? Will people watch it? That's fair.

So that's how we feel. We'd like to see it, but we'd also like it to make a lot of money, so they make more. Is that another Cananga Balloon T-shirt in the house? Oh, that's two. Fucking A. The people have spoken three. Or! Is anyone here in a Pigeon Double Tens shirt?

I'm convinced you bought all those versions of Pigeon Dishol. Wow. All right. Next, yeah, yes. Hi there. Can we hear Irving Kershan's pitch for the next Daniel Craig Bonfell? Say again. Irving Kersen-Curchner's pitch. Can we hear Irving Kerson's pitch? We hear Irving Kirshner's pitch. All right, but I have to go to the restroom.

Matt will be back shortly. Here's Irvin Kirshner, everybody. Are you doing? Great to be here. I wanted to stop in just for a second to give you. It's an elevator pitch. No, stay with me. We open in Bermuda.

Jam's Bond is on the beach covered in sand and sweat and he looks like a mud man. Then a beautiful girl comes out of the surf. It's Ursula Andrus all over again. Literally, we've recast Ursula Andrus and Sean Conry. They're in their 70s, almost 80s. On a retirement vacation. I'm pushing 90.

Everybody's doing this for a paycheck. We can't go in the sun too long for fear of squamous melanoma skin cancer. Yeah. And we just basically eat pistachios and play cards all day. I'm Irvin Kershner, I've got to run. Thank you, Irving. Matt, you're not going to believe it. Huh?

What? Irving Kershner was out here. Come on, these people are dead. No, no, no. I think it's just, you know, you know how if you all believe in tink enough, you'll fly? It's the same thing in here. We just see, we believe in these people enough. We have so many hands going up, left and right.

Let's go right next to you. Right on your right. Oh, okay. Well, she's going. She's choosing. I love it. Hey guys. Just quick Bond 25 speculation,

which our resident guru might be able to answer. Saeed Tagmori, I'm butchering his name of Three Kings and Wonder Woman fame, said that he was cast as a villain in the Danny Boyle one, and it would have been a Middle Eastern villain, but if they go with a Russian villain,

he's out, so are we saying that they don't even know who the villain is and where he's from and what the hell's going on and it's not even Blowfeld. Yeah, I don't know how to answer that statement. You're right. I think you're just pointing to all the holes in the sinking ship. Yeah.

You're not helping the Titanic. You're just pointing at the iceberg, not saying a word. Right. Anyone you'd like to give it to, it's your choice. Yeah, just go. You see that guy right next to the gray shirt? He's got his hand up. Hi, guys.

Matt Gawley, you would have actually missed this because Ian was on stage at the time but Matt was asking about how James Bond will survive in the Me Too era I just want to ask you guys if you actually think it is time to put the character to bed if he

actually works in the modern era or does that character if you're going to retain the kind of misogynistic old so and so that James Bond is does it actually play if we're not going to go into period kind of era if we're just going to carry on

well I do think that the character can continue on because the character has already had to go through fairly hefty transformations. You could make a case that certainly Ian Fleming had some real tingees of racism in his writing, but so does Bond and he has misogyny and all that stuff. And you don't find those present as much in the later iterations of Bond and nobody misses them, you know? There's a way to do it that Bond isn't. I think Bond is best to as a flawed character, but not a reprehensible character, which in the early days he really isn't.

He's not written as a hero in those Fleming books. He really isn't. He's written as a real, broken, kind of ugly inside man. I think that's why they're interesting books to read, but to make them palatable for a modern audience, they had to make him, I think, passable. And there's no reason they couldn't do that. Yeah, and I agree.

That's my take. I think as long as you have a guy who, for some reason, reason is good at more things than everybody else, but also is dead inside and has a liver in need of a replacement. I think that James Bond can go on. He doesn't have to be an asshole to women. He just has to be an asshole. So that's just what I think of James Bond. To himself more than any of. Yeah, mostly. In the fact that he just continues to drink and drink and drink. Yes. Yes, sir. Hello. Hi, Matt. Thank you for the podcast. Wonderful. We greatly enjoy it. I like to think about the life unlived.

I think it's important. And I was just wondering, of all of the people in the past who have been rumored to be playing Bond, who would you think would have been wonderful in that role? My favorite is Sam Neal. Sam Neal would have been your, like, what could have been.

Yeah, the life one. Yeah. Clive Owen, I think, would have been good. Yeah, he's very skinny now. What is going on with Clive Owen? I saw him recently in a commercial. We have those in the States. we don't pay a TV license.

I also would have loved to have seen a Carrie Grant James Bond back in the day. Honestly, weirdly, my big regret in all of the James Bond casting has gone throughout the years is that NBC wouldn't let Pierce Brosnan out in the 80s for fucking don't laugh.

I want to know what that would have been. Maybe you could have had better movies. Who knows? We still maybe would have. gotten the greatest of all time. Tomorrow never dies. But I do wonder, like, had he gotten... Because if you hadn't have had that break,

if you had gone 87, 89, you know, 92 or whatever, like, what would those movies have been? We talked a little bit before on the podcast about that one they had written when Hong Kong was being handed back over. Yeah. But I just would have liked to have seen

some continuity and no legal battle. And also, I also would have liked to have seen Laysenby, do one more. At least one more. So that's, that's sort of my answer. Yeah. Yeah. One or two more and then we'll say it. There's so many people. I love it. He's standing. What's up, sir? Hello, how you doing? I'm actually here with a guy I went to school with. Haven't seen him for 20 years. You son of a bitch. Where have you been? Well, I know. But we bonded over bond at school, and actually, we went on a school trip to see tomorrow never dies in the cinema. Oh. Oh. So in many inaccurate ways, this is a surprise. You're still friends.

But the question is, if you're having the dinner party, which Bond villain or henchman would you invite, or maybe which Bond actual actor would you invite to come along? Those are two very different questions, but also very good questions. You know, I do always love the brief glimpse of humanity we get out of the Bond villains when they're, like, delightedly talking about their underwater layer

and how they've designed it, or when they're talking about horses and how great they are, Mr. Sinjian. Smyth. This is a tough one. It is really... How many can I serve? Like, how many can I have over?

Three bond villains? A villain, a henchman, and a bond? A villain, a henchman, and a bond? Walk into a bar. Okay. So, look, I'm going to... Any bond you put there is going to be fine because he's going to protect you

from the... Yeah, I'm just thinking of, like, the night's... Table dynamics? Yeah, just fun atmosphere. Okay, so if you want to have the most fun... All right, so it's going to be the most fun dinner we can muster here. Well, it's got to be Roger Moore. For dinner?

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and he's made the keesh. Well, as a real man should. Yeah, so I'm into that. I'll have a Roger Moore at dinner. Henschman-wise, you've got to be careful. Because, you know, you put an odd job in there.

He's not going to say anything. Yeah. Or Jaws. Or Jaws. Or Hinks. All right. Here's what I'm going. I'm going to two for one, Mr. Kid and Mr. Winter at the table.

I kind of want, I want a little wild card in there because I feel like I'm going to choose a refined villain. I may be going to go with knick-knack. I like it. I would actually, I'm going to both of these dinners, so I'm okay with that. Yeah, that sounds good. We're invited to each other's dinners. Yes.

Okay. Well done. And then villain. You can come to, sir. Oh, boy. I'd be intimidated to have someone as refined as Dr. No or something there. Well, guys, come on. We all know. It's media mogul Elliot Carver.

Come on, the guy's got so much. Newspapers, magazines, television. He watches it all 24-7. No. And I, in fact, have had dinner with a Bond villain, Robert Davy, and it was the scariest night of my life. I think I would go, I might go Scaramonga and knick-knack, just to view that.

Well, I'm having the whole cast of Man with a Golden Gun. Yeah, it appears that you are. And can Mod Adams come, too? I'm very excited about both of these days. But yeah, mine is going to be Elliot Carver, Mr. Kintz, Mr. Kint and Roger Moore.

It's going to be great. That is a hell of it. All right, last question. Oh, whoa, he stood up. I mean, what are you going to do? Hello. Wait, I know. Both ask your question, and we'll decide

which one will you want to answer. One of us will take each. Okay. So my name's Greg. I'm Dave. Matt Meyer, you've answered some emails of mine from your other podcast, Excellent Adventure. Oh, yeah. I actually just want to take this moment to say congratulations.

Oh, thank you very much. Yeah, yeah. We haven't podcasted since. This guy's going to be a father. It's true. Thank you, Greg. I appreciate it. This guy's going to ruin it.

Free quickly. I'm going to stack the deck against this baby. No, but yeah, my wife and I, we do a podcast about that, trying to have a child and it's been three, we did a hundred, we got to announce that my wife was pregnant on the 99th episode of the show.

That's how fucking long we've been doing IVF. We don't have a national health service, so it's all coming out of my pocket. Five rounds, three transfers, and now she's nauseous and hates me for it. I don't know if there's a win here.

Anyway, thank you for listening. No hassle. I also a quick shout out to my two friends at home who are not here, Eamon and Scott, who are big Bond fans as well, massive fans of year work as well. Not enough to come tonight, though. Exactly, yeah. I know. I invite him, but no.

My question is very simple. We've had three actresses or actors that have pled Moneypenny, Lois Maxwell, Samantha Bond, and Naomi Harris. If we are going to have a new money penny, if,

whom, quote, to be, whom do you think would be a very good fit for that role? A good fit for a Moneypenny. Yeah. Well, you see, here's the thing with Money Penny. I like what they've done with Naomi Harris being in there because they've given her more than just being at the desk. You know, I find that, you know, the Lois Maxwell Moneypenny was very much...

A secretary. Yeah. Also, I think very much like, don't forget, he's got to throw the hat on the rack and say hello to MoneyPenny and then walk off. Yeah. But I do, I did like that they had her out in the field and then that and then she seems to be more of like a bond ally than just the secretary. So I did like that and I don't see why we'd have to not have Naomi back. But if they're going to recast, I don't know, surprise me. Okay. I'll let you handle that one and I'll take this last question. Okay, so congratulations. Thank you. I brought my pregnant wife as well. Nice.

I hope you're not nauseous, because this would be a terrible thing to sit through. I told her the show is fantastic, so she decided to... He's a liar and a father. So I came from New York to get this answered. We could have... It's much closer. I know. I know. Okay.

So, when I saw a die another day in theaters, I was probably 8th grade, 9th grade. I thought it was the greatest fucking movie I've ever seen. I get you. Not only loved the Aston Martin, I went and did. bought the soundtrack and listened to Madonna say Sigmund Freud over and over. Sigmund Freud. I want to know, am I still allowed to be a Bond fan

after loving that movie? I'm glad you lasted. Not any longer, but I just wanted to know. This is the perfect question to end on, and this is something that I always say, so forgive me if you've already heard it. But you will never meet your perfect bond soulmate, because you will always have, there will always be something

you like that other people don't like in the Bond franchise, and there will always be something you don't like that people like. And that's what's beautiful about it, and you celebrate those differences just like we do in life. And that's James Bonding. And before we run off, the show, we're coming back. We'll be back in November for James Bonding. Oh, I thought you may hear.

No, we're not here. No one wants that. But if they'll have us next year, we'll come. But we're back with season three in November. That's right. We'll also be out in the lobby after this for a signing of merchandise. nice and meeting and greeting. And if you feel like buying a pigeon double take,

let me know, all right, guys? Just use it for a rag. Just want to say, when Matt and I, when we started this podcast, Matt and I really didn't know each other and it really literally was bonding through James Bond. And there's no one else I'd rather go through his franchise with. We didn't.

So, I feel the same way not to get sappy. But I love this guy. This guy. And I'm so happy. I really am. Well, I guess we shall say, James Bonding will return. Thank you. It's the Jim Bonding Podcast.

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