James Bonding - Diamonds Are Forever with Doug Benson

Episode Date: January 4, 2023

The Matts are joined by Doug Benson to discuss Diamonds Are Forever! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Now entering nerdist.com. Oh, that's good. That's real good. That's just, that's boudoir music, I think. It's, uh... It's a very sexy song. Doug is doing a interpretive dance for an audio podcast. It's like the opening titles.

How much of it do you listen to? We'd let it play. Or do you just play the whole movie? Well, lately. Well, he's just playing the song out of him there, and then we'll throw the movie on. Yeah, usually after the hook, oh, listen to that. If you guys aren't making love to your loves while listening to this right now. Ladies, if you aren't shoving diamonds in your vagina.

Well, now that went farther than I had originally intended. Gentlemen, may I? Please. Please, please. Why not come on and describe the cold open as, James Bond always has one, describe it and then go to this song. Oh. That's kind of a better way to do it.

Yeah. Yeah, that's not a bad idea. Get it in the right order because I just, now I'm excited to talk about the song. Right. We're not even going to have to go back. Yeah. Oh, boy. We fucked up, Matt Gourley.

No, it's a learning process, at least. And the fun part about this show is not only a zero learning process, there's also a finite number of episodes. Yes. You've got to pull it together. We're going to hit our stride at 23. It's going to be great. Doug Benson, ladies and gentlemen.

Oh, there's a good thing. Welcome to the program, Doug Benson. Introduce this interruptor. Doug is joining us. Doug had his pick of the litter. I really, what had already been, because of course I would have gone after Goldfinger. I'm sure that was popular.

Right. I think people are going to want you to come back for Goldfinger. Oh, really? do it again, yeah. Oh, that's what you're going to do is just repeat? Sure. That's not a bad idea. We're going to reboot the whole franchise.

Just a different guest and a different, you'll have a different perspective because it'll be three years from now when you get back to the top of the lineup. Doug is like a podcast of Bond. He really is because you gave us the name too. You did. That's right. Yeah, he just said we want to do a thing about James Bond. I'm like, James Bonding. You're the patron saint of our podcast.

It's about time we had you on here. It wasn't my idea to replicate, uh, Bond and scaramanga on the beach. I think that's pretty sweet. That was Mac Orley's ideas. Really, I've contributed nothing to this podcast. Are you kidding? It's too bad you couldn't get knick-knack in there.

Oh. God, season two. Well, here's my plan for that. Do you guys know Chris Tallman? Yes. He does an impeccable Hervey Villages. And maybe we have him on as... You are playing the worst song ever.

Just an audio show, that'd be fine. We don't need to hear any of them. Are there any other... Other than the theme song, there's no other contemporary hits. in the movie. Right. They hadn't reached that stage yet. Right.

And I still think they're not at that stage, right? They don't really do that. They did for a while because remember they put the clash in to die another day. Oh, God. And the Beach Boys into View to a Kill. As they went along, they just more and more, the credit at the beginning became more about the song. Like in this one, it just says title song by Shirley Bassi. It doesn't say what the song is called.

I mean, it's obvious. Yeah. But they don't. But then later, it starts to really. become like they were really just gunning for hit singles. Yeah, I think they got the taste of Duran Duran and they were hungry. They needed it bad. Like the wolf.

Oh, I like what you did. I like what you did there. Welcome to, uh, we're talking about Diamonds are Forever, obviously, from the theme song and Doug, we like to start off each James Bonding, where we talk to our guests about their experience with James Bond in life. Were you a fan of the movies? What was the first movie you saw these kinds of questions? So, Doug, I will ask you right now.

Were you a fan of the James Bond movies? Been a fan from like it's a kind of weirdo family entertainment. Yeah, me too. You know, they're all rated PG or whatever, and they do a good job of, you know, you don't get a really good look at the girl's nipples when James Bond is strangling a girl with her own bikini top. You're almost doing this one. That's what you're saying. You get her really quick.

Yeah. And then I'm glad that's not a move that he did all the time anytime. Because there's a lot of scenes by pools. Whenever there's trouble. They're always by a pool or something. That'd be weird if he's just always strangling. But that's also the weird thing about James Bond is he just has, he, but from beginning the end of the series, like maybe this is something you guys could do is start keeping track.

How many talents does he have? Oh, yeah. You know, because, like, Liam Neeson has a certain set of skills. Yeah, a particular set. But James Bond can do a thousand fucking things. Yes, he can. Every situation, like watching it, this new, not this new one, but watching Diamonds are Forever from the new perspective of probably not having seen it.

at least not chopped up on in the background on uh spike yep you know i haven't really watched it and it's uh i was kind of stunned by how uh how uh how uh dull parts of it were sure but i think that that more than anything i think is a product of movies from the 70s the pacing of movies but he had like every situation he knew he could you know talk about thing when a subject would come up he'd know all about it like he knows all about diamonds. Remember in Honor Magic's Secret Service he's like a practiced lepidopterist? He knows everything about butterflies, and that's getting ridiculous.

Yeah, and he really, throughout this one, he just was very much on top of everything, but then also operated so many different types of machinery the second he jumped into the moon buggy. Him turning on the moon buggy. All that's given to the audience is a subtle look of like, I don't know quite how to do this. Yeah. But then, no problem. Let's give it a little. Blaine's here?

I'd have trouble operating. That's my vein. It's just Sean Connery talking through a paper towel. You're not wrong. So do you have a favorite James Bond movie from the 23 movies? Well, that's the thing is I kind of, this one was certainly maybe top five. And, you know, now I'd have to, you know, reassess by watching them all again to figure out where it would land because I was just sort of, I was really quite, stunned by how, you know, how slow the pacing was on certain things.

And it's interesting, too, watching this one right after Honor Majesty's Secret Service in the order in which they're going. It's just, I think Honor Majesty's Secret Service is such a better film than Diamonds or Forever. But for some reason, this was one of the Bond movies I watched the most growing up. It's bonkers. It's bonkers, and this is what I'm talking about. It was young. I liked it because there was just something about it was more fish out of water than ever to see Bond running around in Vegas.

Yeah. It's dusty. You know, and that stupid moon stuff and the, and then out on the oil tanker. And it was, I mean, I'm sure you guys just basically soup to nuts this thing, right? Yeah, we're going to hop in right now. Yeah. I don't know if I answered all of your questions there at the top, but. Do you remember your first Bond movie? First Bond theater experience. I saw, my parents took me to, intentionally, and I think we watched all of it.

They used to have, sometimes they'd have triple bills of movies. And so we saw, we went one time, and we'd seen them in their original theatrical release, I think. But then we saw Dr. No from Russia with Love and Goldfinger in a triple bill in the right order. Oh, wow. Wow. That's like a million years before now they, now every new sequel movie that comes. out. There's some theater where you can go and sit through all of them in a row.

Yeah. Like they were doing Anchorman, Anchorman 2. They do the Marvel ones now. Hobbit 2. With all the Marvel ones. I did that to Star Trek ones. It gets longer every year. I went to Star Trek 1 and 2. I think they did that.

Oh, that's a brutal double billing. Yeah, I slept through the first one. And then I was refreshed and ready to go. That first one is kind of, the first Star Trek movie. We'll talk about that on Star Treking. Yeah. Star bonding. Star bonding, because then we can do Star Wars, too.

Love it. I love it. Guys, we're doing it. You could do Star 80. Oh, that could be on there. That's perfect. Last Starfighter. Last Starfighter will that qualify?

Starman. Starman's overlooked jam. That's probably really boring. Did we just create a new game for the Douglass movie? Rockstar, the Mark Wahlberg movie? Oh, that's awful. Yeah, we'll do that. Rock Star is awful.

Star Is there a start Start? Start me up Rolling Stone song Yeah You could branch out to songs The The

So this is Diamers are Forever It's the Let's set the scene again As we like to do This is two years after Honor Majesty's Secret Service The George Lays and Bees

Only tenure As James Bond Whereas we've discussed Many times over he did a very serviceable job. How did it go though? They wanted him out or they wanted Sean back in or like what was the pecking? He was slated to come back and then he was convinced that these movies were done for like hippie counterculture, easy writer stuff was coming back.

So he goes, nope, not going to do it. Yeah, there's not shaving my beard. Literally, right? Yep, he didn't want to shave his beard. And so then they, this is basically the story. Then before they had Connery, they thought Bert Reynolds because they wanted it in a moment. American-style bond, because that was kind of big, gritty 70s American films. They considered Adam West, and then they signed John Gavin.

Correct. And then they got Connery back, and John Gavin graciously stepped out, but they paid him his entire contract fee. Oh, I would have stepped out, too. So the original plot of this movie was a Goldfinger, Goldfinger's twin brother, played by Gert Frope, comes back and wants revenge. That was the original plot for this movie. Oh, so maybe that's where they got the idea. guy hard with a vengeance. Well, the idea to have

Blofeld to have many lives. Yeah, yeah, something like that. It's interesting. So, because also they had... Blufeld's been played by three or four different actors. Yeah, and they had to justify that Bond knew who he was at this point.

Yeah. So the plastic series... This was a weird one. I had forgotten about the weirdness of Blofeld before. Like, I couldn't even really picture... Like, most Bond movies, like, the first thing you think of is it's villain.

Yeah. And in this one, when I was watching it, I was like, oh, that's right. It was Charles Gray as Blofeld. Yeah, you think of Mr. Winton and Mr. Kid more than you do Bloffield. Yeah, absolutely. Well, the interesting, I think. In a sexual way.

Oh, obviously. That's one of my, the two of them are one of my favorite things. And it didn't dawn on me until I, because after I watched it, I put it back on with the commentary on, which is a very produced commentary. Yeah. They're constantly dropping, actually really interesting things. And, and the director just flat out said, those guys are gay. And I watched the whole movie today from a more adult and, you know, 2013 eyes, and I never once dawned to me they were gay. I just thought there were a couple of weirdos to go around killing people.

Well, anytime you're calling each other by their, I'm serious. I never thought of them as being gay. I mean, when do they ever, they don't. They hold hands right in the beginning. They do? Yeah, right when they have to they kill that dentist. They do. But to Doug's point, they could just be weirdos.

Yeah. They're definitely weirdos. Yeah. They just always struck me as weird. Or maybe I just never. It never entered my mind because I've seen it since I was a kid. When he goes, oh, she's certainly attractive, and Mr. Wint is putting perfume on and he looks at him, and the guy goes, For a lady.

Oh, that's true. That one should give it away. Well, if you'd like to, if you'd like to hear that very line. These guys are, I don't, oh, my God. I really, they're one of my favorite things in a James Bond movie. Jill St. John, by the way. I just like how strange they are, and she's one of the hotter. Wow.

She is, Gillian Anderson could play. She really puts it out there. No, no, no. You don't think so? Jillian Anderson. Isn't it? Gillian. No, it's Gillian Jacobs.

That's what I mean. That's what I mean. That's what I mean. Gilliam Jacobs. Yes. That reminds me of the game we played on the Nerdus TV show, Gilligan, Gillian, or Gillian. I'd lose.

You wouldn't lose. Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidder are either the most inspired or just the most fucked up casting. I don't know if they got lucky or were brilliant. Well, it's Kristen Glover's dad. Yeah. And Pudter Smith. Putter Smith, the folk singer? Jazz musician.

Jazz bassist. He played on The Righteous Brothers, lost that love and feeling. Sometimes he seems a little like he's kind of going to laugh, like he's going to break character. Like, he's sort of weird with it, whereas Chris McGarver's dad was just born to be this weird. Let's hear a little bit of who we're talking. You've got a guy who's not acting at all, and a guy who's overacting completely. Yes. And it's somehow inspired.

Mistad. So this is obviously the old scorpion trick. Yeah. Which originally they had a scene that they put it in his mouth. but they had to cut it because it was too violent. Now... Plus, how do they get it into his mouth? It's weird. It's on the DVD.

Joe couldn't make it tonight. I'm Mr. Wint. That's Christmas Dad. They're so creepy. Originally Paul Williams was going to play Mr. Wint. Yes. And they were going to do like big and little Enos from Smoggy and the Bandit, you remember?

Yes. Now, this movie is about... It's called Diamonds or forever. What a bizarre idea. They started getting really. really bizarre ideas around this point. What's the matter over there? Now, I love that he's pretending to have

a toothache. Would you mind? So we've established this guy as a dentist? Yes, we have. He takes the diamonds from the miners out of my mouths. Let's listen to a scorpion death. But he's a serious dentist.

Yeah. Let's hear a scorpion death. Okay, he just dropped it down the back of this. At first he got the tickle. Like, what's down there? Oh. And then he just falls over. And he falls over. It's smashes it into his own into his back. How everyone who touches those diamonds seems to die. Can I tell you a story about Bruce Glover?

I was like at a commercial audition in the 90s and there was one of those photocopied a picture of a Bruce Glover acting class that he was personally teaching with the little handwritten phone numbers at the bottom. Oh my God. And I don't know why I didn't take it. I would have taken it immediately. Yeah, I wasn't thinking. So this movie picks up right after our magic secret service,

which is a movie that ends with what I think is the best James Bond ending of all time, which is Tracy being killed by Blowfeld. Got a shot in the middle of the head. Shot right in the head. James kind of loses it a little bit at the end there. And this picks up with him looking for Blowfeld. So he's looking for revenge. So theoretically, James Bond has been off on vacation on his honeymoon,

but just looking to kill Blowfeld. Yeah. So... It's this movie, the good guys and the bad guys kind of have this equal, absolute lack of respect for human life. Like they just are, I will just kill everybody in the way until I get what I want. Like, I don't even want to keep people alive to question them.

I just want to kill everyone. I would argue that this movie Blofeld has the most opportunities to easily kill James Bond. He's got funny. No, there is so much, you know, ridiculous monologuing and just letting things

slip through the cracks. There's a... Like, oh, he's probably He seems unconscious. That's close enough to dead for us to marry him alive. And in the first, in the cold open of this movie, they put on a clinic in bad ADR. They really, no one's words are matching up with what they're saying. Oh, there's a really bad man.

Oh, also in the Gunberg sequence. James Bond has a really bad one. When Connery comes out and he goes down on one knee and fires, did you notice that? Yes. Very clearly wobbles. And you can just imagine that he goes, that's it.

That's the only take you'll get from me. Use it or lose it. I don't care. Well, this beginning. This whole opening, the reason they give for making it, other than Sean Connery, would probably rather not be shooting these scenes, was you don't see his face for a while because the idea is, you know, he's back and it's not Lays and B. So let's have this whole cold open be like, you know, really, really cutesy about him appearing. But now that we're discussing it, I'm thinking that Sean Connery is just like, just shoot those without, you know, just pretend I'm there. Here's a quick sample of, and he says witty things to everybody.

Oh, this is the best one where he strangles a lady with her own top. Oh, boy. My name is Bond. James Bond. I watched this for the first time on Blue Ray. Is there something I can do for you? Blue Ray is not kind to these people. Yes, a matter of fact, there is.

Just the makeup and... There's something I'd like you to get off your chest. Now he's strangling a woman with her bikini time. But she's kind of titillated by it. Would where be? Bluffel film. I'll strangle you to death if you don't tell me. And then no more, we don't need to know what happens with her.

No worries. He's really just on a mission. So we're recording this on Wednesday night here at Meltdown, which is the night of the big Meltdown show, which you'll be able to see on Comedy Central next year. But if you hear yelling, that's what is going on here. I don't think they hear it. These mics are really good. You don't think they hear it? I think they hear it.

Katie Money Penny. They might hear it a little bit. Maybe a little bit. Katie Money Penny says they might hear it a little bit. Good to give him a heads up. Uh, so let's talk about where we find Blofeld. We find Blofeld in the process of, now, do you think, do you think this is plastic surgery in the minds of the writers of this film? Do you think this is plastic surgery?

Blowfeld himself has gotten to no longer look like Blofeld. And also, while he's at it, let's make a bunch of doubles of me. Good question. I think that sounds about right. Right? Although you may be thinking way farther than they ever do. Yeah, and you might be confusing it with Spy Kids. Tush.

Because I was really thinking, I was like, because I was trying to figure out of the, if the mannequin of which the prosthetics are being applied to looks like Tully Savalas. I think you may be right. Yeah, so that's what I'm going to say is happening here. I never put that together.

Now the, he's the Rocky Horror guy. So we see, we meet Blofeld. That's a great thing about facial plastic surgery is it changes the entire way your body is and the way you stand. Yeah. You're just an entirely different person.

I don't know if you've seen the movie face off, but it's very. possible. So what's with all the mud? The mud is apparently where you need to incubate for this plastic surgery. You guys have never had plastic surgery. Oh, not like this. No, no, no.

That's what needs to happen. So the, let's hear the interaction. This is the first time that James is running into Blowfield after Blowfield has killed his wife. Right. The only woman. Good to remember.

He's ever loved. Yeah. This guy is responsible. But he does look different, so maybe that throws him off. Making mud pies. He also has a completely different voice now, too. Yeah. He would have been me in a matter of days.

If you've given the poor fellow a chance. Such a pity I was dying to see how the operation turned up. Get his gun. James has said nothing. I love the way he puts his hands up here. Well. I guess I'll participate. Oh, Shantang.

And then he's got the fousetrap in the pocket. The old mouse trap. Which he never has on any other missions. Seems like it would come in handy most of the time. He takes scalples. Blofeld could get to work doing something. Roefeld's just chilling. He's very weird in the scene.

Like, oh, maybe I'll do something. Wade Bunches at him oddly over a table. It's very easy to knock out the strap down. And instead of killing him or anything like that, he just decides to put him in some boiling lava mud. Yeah, throw him in there. And he just goes, he goes right in. And now what does he, does he say something here now that he's just gotten revenge?

I know, this is where he'd have to go to hell. Welcome to Hell Blufeld with a hell of a smirk. Yeah. He's pretty content. He did it. Go to the opening song. That's not Blofeld, though. He's killing another imposter.

He's killing an imposter. Correct. He's killing an imposter. He seems pretty happy with himself. He kills a fake Blofeld at the beginning of the one where Sheena Easton sings the theme song. Adrian, for your eyes only. That's the real... That's the real one.

He finally drops him down a chimney. And that's it? That's their way of getting rid of McClory. Kevin McClory, the guy who on the rights to Blofeld. And getting rid of the character as a whole. So then we start with the Diamonds are Forever.

Uh-huh. Which is Shirley Bassie's return. No alternate tracks for this one. Shirley Bassi's back. Guy Hamilton's back directing. This is like, this is the Goldfinger team. They wanted to get the feeling of Goldfinger. Yeah.

How many days? Guy Hamilton direct overall? Four? I think we're going to agree on that. What was his last one? Where'd they have to put him out to the passer? Oh, I like that one. Yeah. Wonder why he quit after that? I think they sort of just decided to quit him.

Maybe, yeah, I don't know. So this one, Sean Connery, they lured him back with a million dollar contract. Million two. One point two million dollars. Sean Connery took the deal, but then donated the entire check to the Scottish Scottish Library Foundation. That almost makes up

for him beating women. Not quite. I think it does. Really? Because I think in any situation... I will publicly say that... Sometimes... I do not fall on that line.

I'm just trying to say what Connery said. You know how women are. They won't stop. They always have to have the last word. Well, we'll... You know, we can address it as we move along, but, you know, some of these women are, you know, troublemakers.

Trouble makers. That one woman goes right to his room, like, with all she knows about him is that he just handed or $5,000 for doing nothing. For being bad luck, he gives her money. Natalie Wood's sister. Lana Wood. I have that playboy somewhere.

I've met her. I know. I know. So let's hear now, this is how M talks to. M was at the wedding. So M was very nearby when Tracy was killed, and M is now dealing with the fact that Bond is back and is done with Blofeld.

0.5 carrots cut. The act was shaw, it's 116-carat. That's rough. Are you paying attention, 007? The Akbar Shah, 116 character rough. But surely, sir, there's no need to bring in our section on a relatively simple smuggling matter.

Sir Donald has convinced the PM otherwise. May I remind you, 007 that Blowfeld's dead. Finished. The least we can expect from you now is a little plain, solid work. What is that about, like, isn't Blofeld, like, isn't it there kind of? like in the world of their story, isn't that kind of like taking down Osama bin Laden or something? That's exactly right.

It's a really big catch, and they treat him like some sort of scumbag that was all chasing after somebody that wasn't a threat to anyone. Yeah. So this movie, we learn a little bit about diamond smuggling. This expert, I assume he's a diamond magnate is talking to them about what's happening.

Now, what I like about this filmmaking-wise is I really like that he's, I feel like typically in a James Bond movie we would hear this British gentleman explaining and see nothing. This is strange exposition though so he starts talking about it.

Then they start showing you. Then it goes to Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd off of that exposition with no more exposition. Correct. And then it goes back to him finishing the story. I just feel like was that on purpose or just

they were editing going ah fuck it well fix it. No, I think that was on purpose and I kind of liked it. I really like that I like exposition that can be seen as well as explained because that's something that James Bond movies suffer from a lot

is exposition for just the purposes of exposition and only you know only in a talking head situation right you know what I noticed what you noticed the women in the opening title sequence are where a lot of them are wearing chokers oh yeah and James Bond is a choker oh nicely done Doug nice Doug observation yeah and I think even even Jill St. John or is the choker. That's right. She does and the cat does.

She pulls it off. I'll tell you that. Doesn't Jill St. John? Yeah. There's some pretty... Not acting wise. Let's be honest. Yes.

It's not bad. They give her some... They give her... There's one line in particular. We'll get to it. That is... No actress could make it work. Is it...

Tudor Charlie or blow up your pants? Blow up your pants. This is the only... This is the only... I think she riffed the other one. You better lay off that Tudor. Charlie, I'll give you something to honk about. Say.

She's basically Edward G. Robinson. We'll get to her. We'll get to her shortly. But this is the only instance in James Bond of one of my favorite parts of a James Bond movie, which is The British Off, where you get... This is a new segment. You throw a couple of British people in a room and see who acts the most British. Yeah. Indubidably. I say.

This situation is great because... Em explains that he doesn't want any sherry because of his liver, and then Bond gets real uppity about it. Oh, this is the bonbois. Please, the darn. Thank you. Sherry? Not for me, thanks.

Doctor's orders. Commander? Yes, thank you. Commander. You've been on holiday, I understand. Holiday. Relaxing, I hope. Oh, hardly relaxing, but more satisfying.

Cheers. Because he's just settling for that and not asking for his usual drink. Pity about your liver, sir. It's an unusually fine salera. 51, I believe. There is no year for sherry, 2007. I was referring to

the original vintage on which the sherry is based, 1851. Boom, drop the mic. Precisely. Precisely. Precisely with a Z. That gentleman wins the British off

for today's episode. He wins without even speaking. He was probably in the trenches during World War I. Precisely. Presize. Presize. James Bond knows every.

Yeah, it gets time. What is it, Moonraker, where he knows that flower, too, that... He knows the poisonous flower. He knows... He's a botanist. Butterflies and flowers. But he does...

Well, let's just... Tell me, Commander. The eye roll from Bernard Leif. He's up. He's up. He's up. He's a field of diamonds. Well, how does substance found in nature?

They cut glass suggest marriage. I suppose I've replaced a dog as a girl's best friend, and that's about it. Refreshing to hear, there's one subject. You're not an expert. We rifled off four things about it that were pretty... Pretty accurate. That's good.

What more do you need to know? Now, so here's the situation. Someone's taking some diamonds and smuggling them out of these South African mines, but they're not showing up on the market. So they don't know what's happening to these diamonds. They're worried that someone's going to flood the market with diamonds. Very similar to a way that maybe a Goldfinger's brother might do something, you know? So what we have here is...

now an explanation, a long exposition situation of South African mining, as well as how people smuggle things, and then, of course, the introduction, we talked about them a little bit of Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd, who I think we all can agree, our favorite henchmen? Mine, certainly.

They're pretty awesome. I've got these two art pieces that are just pictures of them from chin down, and they're unbelievable. I think that's why I have a fondness for this one is because I like them, and there's another pair that appears later in the film that I also have to treasure.

They really give you everything in this. They really do. It really is like the blockbusters of today should learn a lesson in this movie because it's got a lot of stuff going on, a lot of characters, but it doesn't feel like it's squeezed in. Yeah, because they just get their little segment,

like Bambian Thumper, just one scene. Yeah, but also the way that Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint or sprinkled throughout the film. Yeah. So Peter Franks, so now James, James is given this mission to go find out

what's happening to these diamonds. So he's going to infiltrate a smuggling ring by taking the place of Peter Franks. Although, as much as I love this exposition rundown, it did leave me more confused than when I began as to why everybody's being killed

and where it's going and why. Well, that's the interesting thing. You do never quite know what Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint are up to and who they're working for. Bond has kind of a just a fucking Stumbling into things kind of approach to solving the case. Which happens more often than people realize.

And then you'd like. Yeah. James really does stumble around. He's not making smart decisions that get him exactly what he needs to know. There's some very interesting. There's a memo. He's getting people killed a lot of the time. Yeah.

There's a memo in the James Bond Archives book, the Fentashem book that Matt and I own. Jointly. Yes, we jointly own it. from Sean Connery to the producers after having read the script for Goldfinger talking about how he didn't like the fact that James was always three steps behind everybody in the movie. And I think this one suffers from that too. Interesting. I think he's a bit behind everybody.

Too much so. He's just walking around going, well, and like when he's impersonating somebody, he doesn't seem to have any particular goal in mind. No. I speak English. Just like I can get away with being in here. Are we missing anything thus far in the film that you guys wanted to touch upon? Because I have something I'd like to talk about.

Oh, please, do it. All right. So Peter Frank's, James takes over the identity of Peter Frank. So how does he do it? Well, with a field visit, with a rare field visit from Miss Moneypenny. Yeah, working. Working out in the field. This part made me sad.

Yeah. Because on the commentary, they said she gets to take, in her contract, she got to keep all of her wardrobe. And the only scene she has in this movie, she's wearing this dumb uniform. Yeah. Here you go. You can keep your dumb uniform. Mr. Frank. She was in like 17 of these.

Your passport is quite in order. Or anyone seeing you in that outfit, Moneypenny, would most certainly be discouraged from leaving the country. Was that a compliment? I think so. A diamond. Do you think she looks good in that? A diamond in her ring.

She says to the man whose wife just died. Yeah, no, she's works at, in every one of the movies. She wants him so bad. She wants him so bad. She doesn't care that she was at that wedding. But the saddest is the follow-up. He's happy to flirt with her,

but then he also is very blow-offy. Yeah, let's hear the follow-up while the loudest music in the world is playing. Would you settle for a tulip? Yes. Yes. See, that would be a tulip instead of a marriage proposal. And then we see the hottest new thing. The hovercraft.

Kay, do you have any idea what they're doing down there? allowed tonight. Yeah, yeah, so. Good Lord. It's a little noisy for a little while. There we go. Just stop. Oh, start up again. It's a punk movie.

Okay, well, good. I don't think the listeners could. Good, good. We're hearing it. So then the, here's the situation here, guys. You know, it's 70s. What new forms of transportation have been invented for a James Bond movie to be? Hovercrafts.

Guys, this is the first instance of a hovercraft and a James Bond movie. Yeah. And we don't see it again. Yeah, because the tunnel didn't exist yet. Oh, is that? Yeah. Yeah. So the only way they thought, what's the sexiest way we get across the pond? Nicely done.

So we see the Hovercraft situation. James has to go to Amsterdam now to take over the guys of Peter Franks, and we see Jill St. John in a... We see a lot of her. When she changes from one practically naked outfit, it's into another practically naked outfit. Like a couple different times, she's kind of like, you know, oh, I should put something on and comes back with barely anything. Somehow, yeah, somehow less.

Yeah. So here's the... James delivers my favorite line. James Bond has ever delivered. What you're talking about? Yeah. The tea is for Tiffany. Tiffany Case.

Definitely distinctive. I was born there. On the first floor while my mother was looking for a wedding ring. Well, I'm glad for your sake it wasn't Van Cleef and Arpell. weren't you're blonde when I came in could be I tend to notice little things like that whether a girl is a blonde or

brunette and which do you prefer providing the collars and cuffs match we'll talk about collars and cuffs that's what you like collars and cuffs everybody god I didn't even get that when I was a kid collars and cuffs have to match

I thought that was what a gay man somehow I thought that was so much classier than carpet and drapes. Yeah, it really did. Talk about the difference between Tiffany Case in the movie and the book. In the book, she's the daughter of a madam that ran a San Francisco

Horhouse, and she was gang-raped by mobsters. In this movie, she's just a sassy, old sassy gal. She's just out there and just doing her thing. Rig by shooting a machin'a. I've named Tiffany case because I was born a Tiffany's in a glass

case. I just felt into the display case, placenta and everything. So, okay, so now this, Bond, oh, this is great too. The situation. There's a whole weird fingerprints thing. There's a whole weird fingerprints. That's pretty fun.

She's fingerprinted his glass, which we see her then run the check to make sure it's Peter Franks. Check's out okay. And what I enjoy quite a bit is the phone call to Q. where he says he made him for his kids for Christmas? That's the voice box later, but this phone called the Q. Now, this is a scene of Desmond Llewellyn in, theoretically, in Q branch.

So he's hanging out while stuff's going on in the background. It bums me out when there isn't a session of getting the devices. I agree with you 100%. Why would they do it this way? What I do love about this is you are seeing an Aston Martin in the background being loaded with missiles. Yeah, there's a bunch of, there's a whole stack of missiles. There's one, two, three, four, five missiles the size of the engine being loaded into an S& Martin. Maybe you put your finger on it in that it's, what do you just call it, like the fish out of water one or something, what of this bond movie?

Yeah, because he's like, they had to bring this money penny out into the world. He and Q don't get together. It is a weird red-headed stepchild that you love. It's weird, but going to Vegas brings some really fun things. Really, really interesting stuff. I put this one on a lot. Yeah, it's really... It's quite entertaining, but...

Yeah. But I put it on a lot, you mean you have it on... While I'm not watching it. Yeah, yeah. It's playing out a loop right now. Yeah. In touch with you, that Peter Frank's fellows escaped. Killed one of the guards on the way up to London.

Hello? That is like, what is he a fucking vampire from Twilight? He's the Batman of telephones. Just, yeah. Oh, so that's what that's like. Maid. He straightened out the very strange

how you move the phone over to the right spot. It should at least be laying there off the hook still. Oh, there's a tip for the maid. Yeah. That's amazing. Then James Bond does,

he hides out. Poor Q. He doesn't show up again. He shows up again. He shows up later. Yeah, he shows up later. Then James Bond, in case you guys missed it.

Are you there? I like to imagine that was 20 more minutes. James Bond hides out much a way our gang would hide out. Right. By pretending to make out with himself.

It does look pretty convincing, though, when they show it. You podcast, you listen to you. There it is. He's got sex. Those manhands. I'm good. I'm good. And then we see a fight very reminiscent of one of our favorite fights in Alfa James Bond World, which is the train fight from Russia with Love.

We see a nice closed quarters fight on an elevator. Yeah, that's like a staple of the Bond films. It's like a tight space fight. It's a little out of place in this movie, but I love it. It is a little out of place. And it's also, now, the score, what do you think of the music in this movie? It's like the movie. It's oddly paced.

It's really, it seems to be put in without any care or attention to what's happening. When she's dusting off the glass for Prince, it's the most romantic music. That's because you're supposed to be feeling the pheromones that she's released to James Bond. And the Mr. Wint, Mr. Kid theme is that, boodoo do do, bobobobobobo be. Right. But I think the weirdest music, and we'll get to it, is during the dune buggy. Oh, well, like the, there's a weird. weird long section of it where there's no

strings, like just little plucks. But for a while there's no music. It's just the sounds of the motors and the engines. So James gets into a huge fight with the real Peter Franks, kills him. But did you notice when they fight up in the hallway then there's just this wall rack of crow bars and weapons

ready to be used? No. And then Bond eventually grabs the fire extinguisher and sprays him in the face. And then, but I like when he also, no, he immediately falls over that rail. Like, Bond just gets lucky that the guy doesn't come out even harder now that he's been blinded, and he just falls over that rail.

And, uh, but then, uh, Bond throws the fire extinguisher at the guy who's already laying possibly dead on the floor down below. He just throws it at him. It's brutal. But, uh, James, uh, very quick thinking, James Bond here, uh, thinks, oh, she's going to check his ID. This is good screenwriting. This is actually very good screenwriting. But, uh, what I love is that it's a, uh, it's a playboy card. Yeah, of course.

Uh, uh, uh, So here we are here. He quickly switches the wallet, but then we get a nice intro. You killed James Bond. Let's hear it. My God. You just killed James Bond. Who carries ID in his wallet?

Surprise, Connery. Is that who it was? What? It just proves no one's indestructible. You don't kill James Bond and sit around waiting for the cops to arrive. Never Say Never Again. We've got to get those diamonds out of here and fast. What are they?

Well, he also is always complimenting James Bond as this other guy. Yeah. A little old lady dropped them by yesterday morning. I'm d'andelier. I shouldn't have this much light near my piece. We see, it is, right? It is real bad. This is the first one where when he comes in and shoots the gun in the beginning in the circles, he's wearing a hat.

No, he wears a hat. He wears a hat. Earlier? That's not him. though. Doesn't he? No, in this one it's him. Yes, in this one it's him. But he's got a hat on.

He's got a little pork pie on. He never wears in the movie. He does. He only wears it. He only holds it when he walks into the Moneypenny's office to toss it onto the coat rack. That's the only time you see James with that hat.

Now, this then now takes a turn. So the movie, you're used to all these exotic locations, you know. Oh, wait, elementary canal. Oh, yeah, we got it. Oh, would you like to hear of him? Well, I just have a question about this. Yeah, I don't get it.

They mean to say they shoved it in his mouth or his ass. It's the whole passage. Yeah. So, boy, they really put it up there. It's a really subtle. Let's hear a little bit. It's in his ass joke. Let's hear a little bit more from Mr. Kid and Mr. One.

Oh. This is the. They're both aboard. So he's always got to have that horrible perfume. For a lady. Ah, there it is. Oh, he really stirred him down on that. Yes, they're clearly gay.

Oh, yeah. They're gay. They're gay. They're gay. and they're like, they're not comic. I didn't even get it. Pay attention to what L.A.X. looks like in this fucking movie.

It's still got the crazy restaurant that's normally in the middle of this massive, involved place. Now it looks like a Burbank airport. Yeah, they're just debboarding. Follow me to customs, please. Oh, shoot. I like how every time James has to say Felix lighter

because it's always a different character. Always a different person. Explain that he's that guy. This guy's pretty good. He's fine. Yeah, he's a good, he's a good Felix. Did we ever decide who our favorite Felix was? Mine's David Edison.

Well, I like Jeffrey Wright, too. Take over. And here it is. Death certificate, please, Mr. Franks. Well, well, well, Felix lighter, you old fraud. On behalf of the CIA, welcome to America. Someone sent their... The old office buildings on Century Boulevard?

Yeah. Wow. This is crazy. these guys. I know. And let's hear him. I give up. I know the diamonds are in the body, but where? Elementary, Dr. Lighter.

So long, James, keep in touch. He doesn't seem that upset by it. He just seems a little slowed down. Here's the bananas thing to think about right now. James is now going to ride in this limousine four and a half

hours to Las Vegas. Sitting between those guys in a hearse. Weirdos. Yeah, that is weird to think of. She's doing his job. This is the

this is when James Bond's accidentally sent into a mobster sketch from the 20s. Yeah, no kidding. Yeah, it's really lacking these mobsers. You want to sit in the front, Mr. Franks?

It's a lot smooth to ride in the front, Mr. Franks. Yes, I believe I'll sit in front. This is definitely a turning point. There was never anything like this in the movies all previously. No, no. Slumber, Inc.

Weird caricatures. And a 1971 Cadillac, uh, Hearst. Calat. Calat. Yeah. So now they're doing the, uh, the long four and a half hour drive. And, uh, here's a little.

Here's a little taste. I got a brother. Oh, we missed a little, a little comedy situation right there. I'll have to bear with us. Bear with us, everybody while we, uh. The book is up, is entirely about. the mob.

Well, it's an interesting thing for James Bond to tackle it in the book, and then they just gets, it just gets a little taste in the movie because they're probably scared of it, because it was a weird departure. It is, yeah. Thanks. Yes, it was. I got a brother. A little raise the eyebrow.

Small world. I love this guy that plays Slumber. He does a very good funeral director, as I know. having spent four years working in a funeral. Oh, that's right. But the, so here's the thing. So now James is still Peter Franks. So they've smuggled in the thing in the body,

and then the goal is they're going to burn the casket and the body. All that would be left, obviously, is diamonds, as well as filling from the teeth. So James now goes in the opposite and awaits the diamonds to be left over. I have to say, burning a body and a casket in a cremation oven, depending on how big the gentleman is. takes at least four hours. Are you serious?

Yeah. Really? Yeah. It gets pretty damn hot, too. Yeah, it gets real hot in there. The fatter you are, by the way, the longer you take to burn. Oh, that makes sense, I guess. Yep.

All that tallow, it's like candle wax, just dripping down. Exactly right. Also, the weird thing, too, when we would get ashes sent back to the funeral home, they would always come in a box, and we would then, you know, put the contents in the air, but it would always come back hot. the box was always hot and that's not because it just came from the burning it's because they would just do it as a courtesy

to keep it warm yeah yeah no it was always super hot the funeral director guy here is his name really Mr. Slumber yes yeah yeah yep Mr. Slumber that's the craziest name to say to everybody when they entered this funeral home

Slumber Incorporated so he's just being handed to the errand and he's going to take a look and see, obviously, all it's left is beautifully clean diamonds. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. Exactly. At a moment like this, I'm sure you'd rather be left alone for reflection. They barely know each other and they're finishing each other.

So we're going to... In our Garden of Remembrance, it's the one with the restful Chartreuse curtains and the angel... Oh, Chartreuse. Chartreuse. He could almost win the British out. Oh, yeah. He's not even British. so far.

So James then places the diamonds in there, gets knocked out by Kid and Wint, and then thrown into a casket to be burned alive. Which is the brutal way to go. So let me ask you this. Yeah. If when they find out that he doesn't have the real diamonds and they pull him out of the oven,

they're just talking flat out about how you didn't bring the real diamonds. You screwed us. Yes. If they don't care about being heard in there, Why did they go to all the subterfuge of hiding it in the first place? Makes for a more interesting movie. No, I understand that. All right.

Okay. No good answer. So, this is our introduction to shady tree. And his acorns. Well, we don't see his acorns, yeah. Do you know who one of his acorns is? I'm listening. Valerie Prane.

Whoa. Nicely done. I was just watching her in Superman the other day. Oh, yeah. So let's hear her. little bit of these works those tits in that one there she does let's hear a little

of the stylings of shady scenes in Superman they're about her tits yeah that that's the subject of the scene her miss test mockers they should have gotten those credits that fly up

and the here's the Lincoln lounge with shady tree and his acorns let's hear a little bit of his comedy stylings here it's not bad right it's weird to hear anyone really, really trying to make jokes in a James Bond.

I love seeing an old casino. And Sammy Davis Jr. had a scene in this that they cut out. They ever finds out what I'm doing so to be madder than hell? I call these girls my age. There she is. Actually, they're a gift from Willard White, who is upstairs right now somewhere, playing Monopoly with real buildings. Guys rich.

I try to phone him, trying to fight Willard White is like trying to find a virgin in a maternity ward That's very hard to do And on behalf of the White House I want to let you folks know You've been a lousy audience So get lost, see you later Oh it's one of those three jokes at

That was his closer You've been lousy, good night With that and the maternity ward So Yeah that's weird Why we introduce the acorn so late in the set We just saw his whole set Yeah

So Shady is now part of the, is part of this, everybody that touching the diamonds is dying and Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint are killing them. So this is now when we find out that Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wynne theoretically are working for Willard White or Blofeld at this point.

We don't know. We don't know. We just don't know. We don't know. But we do know this. When shady tree dies, guess what he's wearing? This is something that pops up. This is my own conspiracy theory. I love it. He's wearing a robe, correct?

Yeah, what kind of rope? A short robe? color blue what fabric Terry cloth yes is it really blue light blue

terry cloth appears in so many of these James Bond movies James Bond himself wears it yeah gold finger

yeah maybe it's a maybe it's a guy Hamilton I think maybe it's like the orange in the godfather ooh

I like what you're saying here no I can't really back that up but then one thing we find out though is that it's extremely easy to get

backstage at a at a casino in the 70s at a shabby shady tree show Shabby tree Shabby tree Shabby trees

way better now the introduction of who for a very long time was my most favorites of the bond girls and who I thought

was the hottest bond girl Lana Wood she's dubbed in this too she is maybe the greatest the greatest

introduction of a girl's name to James but of course you are plenty or two named after your father perhaps

Would you like some help? Does that mean that he has a big dick? Her father? I'm guessing. That's the only thing that could mean. He goes plenty and then he looks at her tits, which are great. She looks good in that dress, but she has like her performance is kind of spazzy, but then you'll see, though. Spazzy is all help.

She's like, how do you even, what is her deal? Like, did she just go to that casino? I'll just walk up to Rich Men and try to. She's the Sharon Stone of this casino. She's just trying to. trying to meet somebody rich and get it on with them and get some money somehow. Yeah, to me she seems... Because they never ever pull the trigger for reasons we'll see.

Right. They never even pull the trigger on her double-crossing them, which is what most women that have sex with them do. Right. She doesn't even get to have sex with them before. They might as well be at the Tangiers. So, Lana Wood is the best person on Twitter to follow for my money. Really? She'll tweet once every six months and it will be something like,

Thanks, John. Los Angeles, California. That's twice in a row. Hold on, hold on. Where is Leslie Bercuse? I'm leaving for London. You got it, is just a tweet. Just not to add anybody.

Yes, it's so great. Hey, gorgeous, merry, merry and happy to you. NF question mark. Where's that? Sign me up. He's just responding to things. It was the best one. Yes.

There's one that just says yes. I might have to make a Twitter game out of her on At Midnight. Oh, yeah. What is she responding to? Yeah. How old is she? She must be up there. She's going to be 60.

Too old to be tweeting, probably. Yeah. I think that's really all three of us in this room or this. It's not for children, Matt. We're in that boat. It's an adult thing. So Plano Tool who's just this, she, you know, beds high rollers, I guess, right? Just for money, I guess.

That's sort of her deal. Now, apparently she was getting it on with Conry on set. But she doesn't... Good for her. And then he dropped her to get with Jill St. John. Oh, interesting. That's just the rumor. They're just method acting the movie.

Was that just the shooting order? Could have been. She was in first, and then he was like, well, I'm going to tag this. Probably. You could argue this was an early stab at trying to make Bond more monogamous because he... Doesn't he only do Jill St. John in this movie? Yeah.

The deleted... scene, and that's why it makes no sense that she's in her pool when she's dead, she comes back to his hotel room. I don't know if he sleeps with him. Oh, this girl? Yeah. Well, let's say what happens because this is something I'm very, uh, that's what I was going to mention after it happened.

What happens to this girl? Are we going to watch it? The pool? Well, when she gets thrown out of the window or the, uh, the next time we see her in a pool? Well, that's what I mean. Like, let's watch this time. Yeah. She's, uh, she's looking good in her underwear and no.

No top and they drop her out and... Do it look like she had something on her feet? Yeah. She had flippering or something. Yeah. Like so that they wouldn't sting so much when she hit. Because that's pretty high to jump in. I didn't know. There was a pool down.

So what's the movie this summer? Some movie lifted this. Was it Iron Man 3 or something? Wolverine. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I saw the trailer and I was like, come on. Unless that's a nod. Unless that's a nod. Wink, wink. You could call it a nod. Yeah.

At least it wasn't the entire screen. grip like Shailah Booth. At least it was just a moment. The Wolverine has some pretty original stuff in it. I actually liked it. Yeah. Oh yeah? Is that a Doug? Is that a Doug summer movie recommends? I liked it too. Yeah, Doug digs it. I thought it had some really good fight scenes that

this scene where they're fighting on top of the bullet train is pretty entertaining. I didn't see it. It's good. I wish I'd seen it on the big screen. I just watched it on an airplane and, you know, some of the acting is a little wooden because it's a lot of Japanese characters who English isn't there first.

It's a screening season and I did not know pool down there and that kind of thing. I have yet to see a screener Wolverine show up. Oh really? I've got one from all the gilts. Did you get a Wolverine screener?

No. Oh. But I was going to say it is pretty weird that they'd have a pool at a hotel in Vegas. It's kind of an anomaly that they were in the one hotel that had a pool that she landed in.

So the that took a slow burn I don't know why that was a slow burn I didn't know there was a pool down there Oh really? Well you know That would have been a better scene if there wasn't I'll say that She's gonna have to watch that naked girl just

Swap Circus Circus brand new at this point Yeah really fancy Yeah really top of the line Now it is a circus circus It is a shit hole It's my least favorite place in the strip I will agree with you 100%

I will also say this Probably hasn't changed much since this. Don't. Don't. I know it'll look tempting to you because you'll see the price tag and it'll say buffet 799. Don't do it. Even if you're a little curious. I couldn't eat eight dollars worth of food there. It was terrible. It's the worst buffet. It's terrible. So, circus, circus, brand new. So the girl when she gets thrown in the pool. She swims away. Yeah, but then James

Bonn is dicking around, talking to people. Yeah, she kind of like, you could see her kind of leaving the pool. But that is the ultimate walk shame to have just be in your panties wet, no bra, walking through a hotel, and you didn't even fuck the guy. You didn't even have sex with a guy, and you're walking out of there, like, I think she's okay, because she doesn't come back. Why wouldn't she, why wouldn't that girl, was she that scared by the guys that would throw her out the window that she didn't want to go back up there and risk getting thrown again?

Because then that's what happens is she's the one that ends up dead in the pool. I didn't even put that together as the same girl. Yeah, it's really strange. Yeah, because she's just face down. I was just like, who's this girl? It's dead. Now, I have a question for everybody. This is the midway game section of the casino.

Children are just running around the casino floor. It's Circus Circus. Yeah, I know. But Circus, they have the areas separate now. I don't know if that was a thing you could do back then. I remember going there when you were just kind of had to... Can we have her say her a line to this kid? Oh, yeah.

When she mysteriously wins the water squirting game without even trying. Here we are. What a night. You got to win 20 times to get that thing. I saw the whole. thing. The machine's fixed. Who's she, your mother? Blow up your pants. None of that makes sense. Who's she? Your mother? Well, that's a pretty good insult. That's a pretty good insult because that guy looks older than her, so that's pretty... Blow up your pants.

That's a young... That's why isn't he calling for his parents or security? Do you think that there was a line where the kid said, you didn't blow up that balloon and then she says blow up your pants? Because that would be the only occasion that would make sense. It's vaguely sexual, too. It doesn't make any sense. It's like To me. You know, it's a bunch of British people standing around making this movie. Who knows, this might not even be inside the real circus circus.

This might be a set in Pine Tree. This is real. This is a on-locate. Pinesry. They have... That's some British idiom that... Make them say blow up your pants. Let's...

So, okay. You better lay off that. There's a lot of weird stuff. Let's come back. Okay, let's come back to this. So, Jill St. John comes back to take the diamonds. She takes the diamonds from the casino.

and is going to, theoretically she's supposed to meet Peter Franks, right? Who is James Bond at this point? She's supposed to... We're also burying the lead that you see Connery's bare midrift and it's this weird gray skin that looks like some kind of porpoise or something. I don't know.

It's just weird to see that much of Connery in his last movie. Yeah. You do see a lot of Connery. You do. But in a good way. Oh. Tit for tat. But here's where I'm confused.

James shows up at this house. That must correspond with this note that I have that I have no clue what the plot is. He's just hanging out at the pool and the body's in the pool. Yeah. And he's just like... But she's not expecting to see him. No. She's expected to get away with the diamonds, correct?

You're ahead of me if you know. You've got a lot of guts showing up here. After letting me freeze my behind off at a blackjack table. for two hours waiting for some non-existent diamonds. And what the hell is my black wig doing in the pool? Why was it so cold at the blackjack table? Nip. Yeah, she's really, uh...

Plenty O'Toole. Plenty O'Toole is now, it's cement shoes. Yeah, it's some sort of thing that's, yeah, so she was really tied to this thing, and they put her in a place where she could put her head back up, but then the block kept slipping down the slope of the pool, And they had to get her out at one point. Yeah.

That's terrifying. Especially thinking the way her sister died. Her sister wasn't dead at this point. Correct. So that made, you're just being rude. Well, no, I like Lonner. I'll be weirder. I like her.

So, okay. So now this movie takes an interesting turn. Another interesting turn. We're now at the airport where I guess this is the final diamond handoff. Good question. question. Right? Doug, do you know? I guess. I don't know. This is the final diamond handoff. Now, we still at this point have no idea what the diamonds are for. Who's pulling? And who's taking them? Yeah, because it really does go from this kind of smuggling plot to space laser domination.

Yeah, real quick. Real, real quick. So now what happens, okay, so let's, by the way, I just like to point out again, look at McCarran Airport on the development. Yeah, that's insane. Tiny little airport. So we're seeing James in an American car. He's got the, they got the Mustang Mach 1. They run this whole scam at the gas station. Now, this is interesting. Where she gets in the way on purpose.

I got out of here, Tudor Charlie. He leaves, Willard White's right-hand man, Bert Saxby, leaves, and then exchanges cars with... Willard White's right-hand man. Which I said... Yeah. Exchange his cars with the German laser doctor. Yeah. German laser doctor.

Yeah. It was probably pretty pissed. He's doing a lackey work like this. Put out of there in three years. And no one has seen you. No one. That's just they just changed the sign. That elevator is still there, by the way.

Is it really? The outside elevator. What is that now? What is that? No, it's the Las Vegas Hotel. Oh, yeah. They lost the Hilton branding. Yeah.

Oh. To pay for this. Cut him off. And here comes the most, I would say, most annoying performance in a James Bond movie. Tudor Charlie? It's pretty obnoxious. And I feel bad for the gas station attendant.

Hey, Curley, what about my stamps? Where are you going? Are you mad? Let me buy. Stamps? You ain't got no gas yet. He didn't even notice yet that someone was pulling up behind him. He could have just backed up instead of calling her mad. What? Are you insane? Now, the person behind him says nothing to the 6'2 Scottish gentleman sneaking into the back of the other man's van. Yeah, yeah. Somehow, James Vaughn, this is enough of a distraction that he can get into a van.

We got to hear that one more time, guys. We're going to need silence just for the, uh, for the magic of Jill St. John. Send me by. Stamps, you ain't got no gas yet. Okay. Okay, so shove a couple gallons in. Same time.

Every time. Keep leading on that tutor, Charlie, and you're going to get a shot in the mouth. Come on, lady. Move it. Okay, lady. Wonderful cameo. I love that that's his reaction when she's threatening violence. The other guy's like, well, I'll try.

Come on, lady. Come on, get it out of there. She's the first American bond girl. And then he gets in there. Yes. Yeah, very true statement. Yeah, it's so bizarre that he gets in there and nobody seems to care. Hey, I want it high test.

Forget it, Curley. You had your chance and you blew it. He's really frustrated. That's the noise that this gentleman would be making if you could hear him. This might have been the one where they sort of turn towards, there's a lot of kind of wacky reaction shots through the rest of the history of James Bond. There really is.

That's one of the best things they got rid of with Daniel Craig is they don't really have people doing double takes at. Now here's some of my favorite. They had one in Skyfall, though, didn't they? No. That couple, like, that's in the train station and he jumps on and they go like, oh, yes, they did. Oh, look, he's in a hurry.

Yeah, yeah. That, which James Bond, the Skyfall, I loved, loved, loved, loved. saw it nine times and then I interrupted it with Doug and then I saw all of its flaws if you ever want to not like a movie anymore go ahead and interrupt it with Doug Benson sit with the microphone in the front row

make your jokes and never want to watch it again here's the here's some good I think some good spying yeah this is some good spying yeah this is some good spying right here so James sees this gentleman now he runs out

because he needs to get in that door as well and then he does a bit of business Hello. Hi. I haven't seen you here before. I'm Klaus Hurgashimer. I've been here three years, G-section. I'll have a lot of things in G-section.

Still the same old grind, you know, checking radiation shield for replacing. And by the way, slipped in there with him. It's pretty clever. So he's checking radiation. There's a story behind this, that the director, anytime he didn't know what something was called, he'd call it a Hurgashimer. And the screenwriter put that in there for him. Oh, that's fun.

Klaus Hurgersheimer. So now James... But Hurtigheimer also has a bunch of extra badges or currents, and he goes here, I keep extra, you can have one. And now he sees... Finally, we see where the diamonds are going. They're going to the German gentleman. And now James found a lab coat.

He's just going to see how he thinks of him. Well, you? What do you want? Klaus Huggashimer, G-section. Just checking on radiation shields. now let me see you are uh professor doctor

he's pick a career I'm sorry won't take a moment uh professor doctor professor dr schlesh uh who's a doctor of lasers

uh and then I guess I guess we'll talk about the uh the moon situation for listeners Matt just put his hands

I like he's over there he's over there behind the rock is something you don't here often in Jay's Bond movies. Also, so someone has already emailed in about this about how he drives through and the spacemen on this practice set are moving. They're all moving like they're in real space.

Yes. Their method are about being in fake space. It's so strange. It's such a weird. It's such a weird thing. If you can Google. Because they even try to chase him a little. If you listen to this podcast without watching the movies,

I know some of you do that, but I highly recommend just at least Googling this scene. It's on YouTube. Yeah. I should see that. So Google this scene and just take a look because this is this is 1971 or 72, right? 71, I think. 71.

This is two years after we finally landed on the moon. And already the chariots of the gods people have started saying, oh, we never got to the moon. Yeah. So this is a little nod to that whole moon conspiracy situation. Whereas these gentlemen, it appears that they're just, you're hearing the alarms out? They're in the middle of some sort of simulation or something or practicing for pretending to be on the moon. But then when he runs by them, stop him. They're going so slow.

I can't move and he doesn't even turn around when he gets past him. It's the most ridiculous thing you will ever see. And he jumps in the dumbest looking vehicle. It looks like the Polkmobile. Let's see how much trouble James has starting this moon buggy. He hits F. One, two, three, go. cops are coming.

I mean, there were buttons in there to say one, two, and three on them. R.L. He knows how to work the claw. Yeah. And that's a total, that's the first joystick ever. There he goes. Through the moon. Through the fake moon.

And here we are to a chase scene with no scoring. Yeah, it's just silent for a long. They put some in after a while. Yeah. But I was really counting the moments of like, How long are they going to chase around with no music? Once the bikes show up, there's a little thing. Yeah, then they go, do, do, do, de, but it is the most boring chase.

Everything's moving really slow. That guy fell over for no reason. Hey, how do you want to score this desert car chase, John Barry? Zylophones, I think. Just the Xylophone taps. Yeah, it sounds like fucking somebody suspicious is walking down the street on the streets of Zip. Housewives.

Desperate Housewives. What's Terry Hatcher up to now? She just won Celebrity Chopped, Doug. Two weeks ago. That's what this music's playing. That's what she's saying. Somebody's rose bushes looking at a window. He's having the most fun of his life.

He's pulling a De Niro there. It's probably super hot in that thing, and he doesn't want to be there. I think the whole time he doesn't want to be there. No, I think that's pretty clear. Do you know, another person that was up for this role was Michael Gambon. You know that guy? Michael Gambon, yeah. And he turned it down because his quote was,

I've got tits like a woman. He didn't want to get in shape. Michael Gambon, again, for fans of Top Gear, which is a British motoring show, one of the corners is named Gambon because Michael Gambon nearly flipped his car over going around. Oh. So this is the first instance of what will become a semi-tradition

for the next few movies, which is a yokel sheriff. Yeah, yeah, he really tangles with a lot of redneck law enforcement. He says some, there's that... He says something very interesting here. This whole thing is getting a little out of hand. No regrets, but when you start stealing moon machines from Willard White, goodbye and good luck.

Just relax. I have a friend named Felix who can fix anything. Is he married? What was that mean? I don't know. There goes that son of a bitch and saboteur. The son of a bitch and saboteur. Words that would never be said together.

Yeah. What did he sabotage? The moon machine? The moon. The moon thing. He's a son of the bitch. He was ruining the fake moon landing the fake moon landing. Son of a bitch and saboteur.

Now this, of course, is the very famous scene here. The very famous thing they fucked up here is the Mustang going in on one side and coming out on the other side. It's weird, though. They try to justify it a little bit with, like, kind of a weird shot of the two of them, or it looks like it's flipping back the other way.

Yeah, that's how they did it. Yep, so... But it's so weird. But, you know, before I knew about this, I didn't think... I never noticed that either. It's obviously wacky, but... Well, I mean, if you just look,

there's no... I saw this movie so much early on. I think I caught it at one point. You caught that, but not that they were gay. Yeah, it's... It's a weird priorities as a kid. Copcar flips over. Yeah.

And then a very... Let's see they do this thing where it looks like he switches it. Yeah. In the tiny alley. And so why didn't he just switch back to it? The famous pioneer, guys. Still there. Still there.

Is it? Yeah, I stayed in this, is this what's called downtown Vegas? Downtown experience. Old Vegas. Yeah, they have a roof over that one part and people can repel or whatever. Zipline. Oh, the most uncomfortable bed ever made. Yeah, they're on a, they're sleeping on an aquarium.

they're sleeping on the side of an aquarium essentially so now this movie this movie gets this movie gets to me a little bit I enjoy watching it and I'll watch it forever is this like a reverse of last week where I'll try to no I don't think it's nearly as bad as you thought

tomorrow never dies I didn't think it was that bad are you incorrectly hated tomorrow and ever dies but this this outdoor elevator that James rides up to the to the top of the Las Vegas Hilton What purpose does it serve riding on top of it?

Like what does he, other than drawing attention to himself, why is there a man on top? He can't get out of his hotel room because Felix has put two guards outside of it. And rather than knocking out, CNA8 dogs. So he climbs on to the elevator. He goes outside. And presumably he couldn't get into the penthouse either. Right. Well, he can't get out.

I'm sure, yeah. But anyway, he's not concerned about whether or not there's some sort of flap to get inside the elevator. He's just chilling out on top, not even taking into account how close. to the roof the top of the elevator gets at the end of the ride. Literally chilling. Look at his stance. Yeah, but then when he gets up there, he's kind of like, oh, didn't think this through. Yeah. I better crouch down a lot.

But then we see, oh, okay. Oh, well, there's some very solid seconds. What if I just get smashed? Oh, well. This is much close. Oh, it's very close. Oh, it's stopped just in time. I could have died right there.

Now, uh, guy, is that, is that's going to hit me in my head? This is a great. And this is a little reminiscent of the old Skyfall. Oh, that too. Oh, yeah. The Skyfall elevator hang. Boy, same shot. The Skyfall elevator hang.

And now performing the Skyfall elevator hang. Mitch Gaylord. Oh, Mitch Gaylord. I love his hang. A lot of heroes in action movies have no, they're not afraid of, they're not afraid of heights. They're not afraid of what I would call the most terrifying looking stunt that we've ever seen. Die hard. It's the action hero's best friend of the elevator.

shaft. This man I did by the way really enjoy the sound. That's perfectly loud enough and it echoes correctly. That's some good sound work finally. Now this is like a little set backdrop of something they did. They're little miniatures, right? I think so.

That's the old strip guys. Look at the old neon strip and then he unhooked one. It's insane. That is insane. Yeah. And what does he do? Why he unhook one? Because he's got to swing over to something. He then does the hole I'm going to climb up. Oh, and then he drops in the restroom right where it has odd yellow toilet paper.

You don't want yellow toilet paper. I remember yellow toilet paper? Do you remember yellow toilet paper? I do you. In the early 80s, 70s, early 80s? You don't remember yellow toilet paper. No, no, I'm afraid a personal appearance is quite out of the question. So what we're hearing is Blofeld talking with this different voice. Thank you, Governor.

And now he sees James Bond. Well, that's a neat trick. Our voice box, Mr. Bond. Oh, that's why James Bond. Science was met by him. with the principles easy enough. Someone's voice patterns and resonance stored in a small oral signature tape.

A miniature, transistorized version, is installed in his neck? Or is it his neck? I never can remember. Anyway, no matter. Which one of us is the real one? We don't even know. Now, is this...

What, Pat? Get it out. I just don't... It's okay. Why does he have the doubles right now? because he made one before and what's he going to do with it he's got to keep him he's got to hang out with his doubles yeah he can't they were going to be at least doubles also should be like kind of like trying to sneak away like they probably they got to know that

they're they're there just to be sacrificed right it just doesn't it doesn't it doesn't none of this makes sense to me so anyway he discovers this plot is bonkers it doesn't make any sense he discovered so james that's not why you watch this movie it some exposition happens here where my congratulations to you you're both nice little explosives I'm tired of layers I've seen plenty of layers

there are 50% of Bond movies you should just give up on the plot like 20 minutes in because he can't enjoy I do so enjoy our little visits Mr. Bond however potentially painful they may be but I'm afraid this one has come to an end what do you intend to do with those diamonds

an excellent question we missed the part where he had to give up his hog leg did that happen yet what what where they when they go to take james bond's gun they say we we're going to give us your hog leg oh is that happen at the house that happens up here i think it's here yeah i haven't think we missed it let's hear let's hear that dog let's hear we can hear it he says in a way in a way willard white would say it i guess oh is that oh yeah it's in the can so james's landed

in a toilet, a swiveling toilet situation, right? Oh yeah, I guess he would say hogleg. That's fun. I just thought it was weird. And then he hits a button that says... The weirdest remote control. Howdy, welcome, son.

We've been expecting you. You got any personal business to take care of? And there you go right ahead. Is he telling him a shit or masturbate in there? Would you mind standing up and taking it off? Hogleg, oh, sorry, I stepped on it. That's all right. We'll, uh...

You got your hog leg. Would you mind standing up and taking it off? Hog leg. What is a hog leg? It's a gun. I thought it was a dick. No, it's a gun. Oh, because it looks like a hog leg?

Who knows why it's called it? It looks like a bad end of a hog, right? Okay. All right. So James is then, any point here, could have been killed by Blofeld. But is instead put into a, put into a, put into a, an elevator where he is gassed and... Yeah, why don't they just scorpion him?

Jesus. Do they run out of scorpions? Well, he's gassed, and then Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint are there to take him to the desert where they're just supposed to get rid of the body now? Yeah, but they put him in a pipe. But they don't even kill him. They don't kill him. They put him in a pipe where they know it's going to be filled with dirt some at another time.

They don't even leave him for dead. They leave him for escape. Yeah. Yeah. And James gets out by shorting out some. something that is cleaning the pipe? I think it's... You're not going to play hunchback.

Oh, is that what it is? I do enjoy James coming out of here. Thank you very much. I was just out walking my rat, and I seemed to have lost my way. And my rat. Lost my rat also. I imagine he has to ask them for a ride back to check.

Yeah, sure. But I don't know. Give me a lift, sailor. Some of the stuff, something I find fascinating. And I actually did it. When we get to live and let die, I found the street corners that are outside, and I've taken pictures of them on Google Street View, that have all the Harlem locations to see what they look like now. And I find that kind of thing interesting just to see how underdeveloped.

This is 1971. Yeah. And Vegas has... Look at just one building in that entire... And what's interesting, too, is like, I think hereish... Wasn't the Sands right there? Was? I think the Sands was still there when they made this movie.

The Sands is the last stop on the monorail, right? The monorail goes through here. Anyway, this is long before the Star Trek experience got there. Yes, right before. Willard White speaking. This is Burt. They're in Burt, Saxby's office. We got a problem.

Now they're both using fake voices to talk to each other. Except he turns his off, like, well, there's no need to... Matter with your voice, bird? Matter with your voice, bird. Come on, yeah, fix it. Never mind about that. Look what he fixes, he just puts a metal one. Look at his tiny pink tie.

Yeah, well, you come and have a look for yourself. Hey, listen, if he's half the genius they say he is, we're in for real trouble. Now, calm down, bird. Well, it's the sense he's not working alone. This place must be crawling with agents by now. I think we should move Willard White. Mr. White is perfectly safe at his own summer house.

It's on the ridge, about 10 miles out of town. Thanks for saying that. Perfectly safe in his own summer house. Why would Blofeld say that? Also in the... Well, he thinks he's talking to... But still. You don't have a summer house

when you live in, on the Vegas strip, your summer house is just somewhere else in Vegas and the desert. Right? Yeah. You don't want to go to... I got to be further out in the desert because it's summer I want to cool off. At the time of...

this movie getting made? Who was in the penthouse at the Hilton? Was it... Do you... How would I know that? I think it was... I think Elvis was living up there. Oh my God. It wasn't Rita Rudner? It was not Rita Rudner. Not yet. Because it goes Rita Rudner, carrot top. Yeah, that's the hierarchy of local worker. Local references get you local work. Welcome to Las Vegas. We're having fun here.

Look at his tiny pink tie. Well, now it's Terry Fator, right? Or Fator? Fator? The Fader? The, uh, the, Ventriloquist? The, non-racist, ventriloquist.

But still, look at his tiny pink tie. Look at that little thing. It's adorable. It's very of the, two-thirds down with the time. No, it's good. It's a good tie to be wearing when you get beat up by two women. Nice. This is, Bambi and Thumpur.

We've got to have a ball. He goes out to the house. So he's, he's on the side of this guy. And yet she, he has, he has, he has. He has. two hench women who are basically just start beating the shit out of him and try to kill him. They're blow-felts ladies.

They are? Oh, they're keeping him in there. Okay. They're keeping him from coming out. Now, there's a move here that makes no fucking sense. Is it Bambi's dance? Bambi's little split. They talk about that.

Oh, yeah? The director was like, just, I need you to make sense of this. She goes, well, I'll put some dance moves in. And she basically takes some time to do some dance moves that aren't even an assault. Yeah. Misses? Doing a weird kick and the splits. Right here.

Looking back at him. Turning around. Like, she's like feral or something. It is. She's presenting in a way. Now, of course, we... And he gets the best of them quite easily in the pool. He just suddenly can hold them both down.

But then we see the air to the Jimmy Dean sausage fortune. Jimmy Dean himself is here. Yeah. Who I would think would have a beard or something, unless he's fine. Or he just finished up in the bathroom. I think they're letting them. live comfortably. They let him save and stuff. FBI?

CIA? No, British intelligence. What strange casting? Why? I think he's great. Well, I do too, but... I think Jimmy Dean's great in this. But that's the other thing with this movie is it's got some really strange casting. Maybe inspired. I think he... I think he,

of all the peripheral characters in this movie, I think he gives the best, most convincing performance. The oddest thing, in my opinion in this movie is about to happen. Oh, shall I hit play? Yeah. I mean, after they're done with him. So you called him their friends, so I always thought that was just his security. Was it the elephant thing? Is that you're talking about?

What the oddest thing? No, no, no. I mean, it's coming later, not right away. Here's Q ripping off the casino. Q is ripping off the casino. He's just going slot machine to slot machine. It's weird that he's in Vegas and still doesn't have a scene with Jay. I know. And she just knows them.

They're fast friends now. Yeah, how did that happen? When did they mean? Where they really hooked up? I also like that she just keeps referring to as Mr. Q. Yeah. About me from Felix or James? No, I'm afraid not.

Well, I guess I'm working for the good guys now, but I'm still only two steps away from the slumber if they want me there. I thought you might be able to put in a good word. This had to be a reshoot. Oh, she's on like probation or parole or something? Wow, he's making them all win, but he's not taking any of the money. That's unbelievable.

An electromagnetic... Yeah, show it off. Show it to the cameras. Q is no longer allowed in Nevada. That's what you're talking about? When the desired symbols appear, this causes the rotation of the cylinders to stop. How does she know that?

Just the precise moment needed to... Bond? Right? How does she know that? By the way... She sees Blofeld dressed as a woman. Great outfit. Yeah. Tights and shorts. You're talking about blowfilm? Yeah. Yeah, this is the thing that I was referring to.

Is when she gets to this fucking cab, and he's, this is crazy hideous. He looks like, what I'm assuming, when Monty Python reunion happens, he assumes, he looks like what they will look like in drag. Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in.

Look at that. I'm delighted to meet you, Miss Gates. Oh, my God. I'd so dreaded the prospect of making this teeter's, and the cat did drag her in. That's how she decided to follow. which makes his line. Yeah, it's good, Philly.

It's accurate. Solid movie, friends. So now they're heading out. I do really, I just want to play a little bit of Jimmy Dean, just because I really think he does a good job of being the guy in charge, finally coming back to his company.

Hell of a western suit with a leather shoulders. Yeah, I also found something really interesting in the back. It was right here. But six feet high with a solar panel. Oh, no, it's later. They had these erfoils that seem to draw it for me. Like, just the... Was Dr. Metz on your payroll, Mr. White?

No, but I heard of him. Everybody in our business has. The world's leading expert on laser refraction. A committed idealist to peace. And how in the hell, Blofeld got his hooks in him? I will never know. How did he get security clearance to work here in the first place? Well, from you, sir.

I talk you personally about it. I even recognize your voice just now. I'm sure I must have told you not to keep the usual duplicate microfilm records of the project. Exactly, sir. Tom, what did I tell you to do with this? Senator Vandenberg, sir. Well, get him on the phone now. Great.

I think that's some solid fucking character acting right there. All right. Doug, you don't enjoy that? You like a good breakfast sausage? Don't really appreciate it. good breakfast sausage. Dude, like a good breakfast sausage. His are all right.

I'd eat one right now. I like his turkey breakfast sausage. That's okay. I also enjoyed that he was in his commercials. So they're figuring it out. The first laser beam is generated through a diamond, and a full mess deserves one tenth of his reputation. The power of that thing could be incredible.

And Blofeld's good. And now we're in space. Of course we are. Second James Bond movie to feature a space scene, but not the last. No. Hardly. So, they now have to figure out where he is.

James Bond, this is how they figure it out. Conceivably, any size from six inch to a cassette. Well, assuming you're still using your empire as a cover. Boy, all right, they figure out on this map. From Alaska to Florida, from Maine to Oregon, from Texas to Baja, California. Would you say? Baja.

I haven't got a thing at Baja. God, I love how frustrated it is. Why am I so infatuated with the character of Willard White? I don't know. You know what? Go for it, man. Embrace it. He's great.

Glad somebody gets some joy out of it. So he's on an oil rig. Then he goes out in this stupid ball that you run in on the water. Like, where did it start off from? How is he not all out of shape? and he's got a fucking suit on, he's not sweating inside that stupid ball. The...

But then, Jill St. John. That's when they figure out the marching... He brought the marching man cassette, which he hid in his... This is the wrong cassette. But this is the best. This is amongst the best...

I don't see the... ...thing to do with the... ...with the Bond girl is have her hide the evidence on her ass. Okay, wait, look right there. That sign behind them there in Blofeld's oil rig. command center just says if in doubt ask. Also

no smoking. Kansas, the world may not hear about it for years. Excuse me, you're planning to take over the world. Well, it says over there if I actually just ask. Chance for fresh stars. Washington, D.C. Perfect. Since we have not heard

from them, they will hear from us. See it with me. Washington, right. 20 seconds. I'm counting. Does James come up to her and say, bitch? Oh, does he? Oh, when he kind of...

He suddenly become tiresome, Mr. Barr. When he puts the cassette on her ass. Like, it's funny, he's, you know... This guy. Go back. Oh, you're talking about the Countdown guy? The Count Dracula Countdown guy? Yeah, yeah.

We'll get to him in a second. But they're also, they're like, take him away or whatever, and he just kind of walks around talking to her, like, he just does a bunch of stuff as they're throwing him out. Your chance to see the real tape once again. Oh, he goes... She just keeps going, yeah, keep going. It's just, it's such a weird...

Here, here comes, here comes. See, they're saying, okay, let's go. And then he just walks over the girl. Yeah. Like, he just, free reign. Just do whatever you want before we leave. And he just leans in. And this is what Sean Connery says.

Yeah. Oh, fuck. I missed it, guys. Oh, God, oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, we're seeing too much of your problems are over behind, you know. This is a pretty, pretty good line. And you put a cassette tape on her ass.

Cassette, more like ass set. It's come down. Ten minutes and fountain. I can't hear enough for that. Do you think this is where? Okay, so he says throw him in the brig. And this is how quickly they move. They let him wander over here.

And also the brig is a paint closet. He's, yeah. Here he is, because he's going to say it. No pollution, not any. What do you that say? Take every precaution. Not no pollution, not any Okay

Bitch Bitch Also I will make the case That from where she begins As a smart diamond smuggler She turns into an absolute simpleton By the end of this movie There's a point where she just goes

Yee And the boat fight Oh yeah We'll get to that The fight is great Her reaction is great Then there's another funny reaction So James

James switches the tape Hands her the real tape tape. She switches it back in a comedy of errors and then James calls her a twit which I thoroughly enjoyed. That's when he's really mad

he calls her a twit. When he's faking he calls her a bitch. He knows what he's doing. Here she comes. Pushes the guy. And he's cool with that. I switch the tape in the machine. You stupid twitch, you put the real one back. Why are those guys concerned about it? But the other

guy. Yeah, he didn't mind her pushing him or anything. Then we have a series of the worst optical explosions you've ever seen in film. Uncounding. What a pity. Such nice cheeks, too.

Nice cheeks. Uncounting. And this guy goes, and this guy goes and goes. She does a little repelling. Ziplining. Is that it up early? One more word, met, and I'll have you shot. Get back to your.

Post. Oh, when he had the wig on, they should have called him Flofeld. My babboos up immediately. Would he call it a baboosub? I don't know. I was really hoping we were here more counting. One minute. So then there's a big fight.

Big fight. Then James plays around with Blowfield in a submarine. And we never see what happens to him except he's on the thing when it blows up. He's just operating more machinery that he's never seen a touch before. At least he has a little difficulty this time. But then guys, don't worry. We haven't seen Mr. Kid and Mr. Win for a while. Yeah, nothing made me happier in a James Bond film

and these guys showing up again. Because you like them enough that you like them, but you also weren't thinking there would be more of them after the villain, after Blowfield was dispatched. Because you think, oh, we've killed the main villain. Like, why are they going to keep coming after him? They try this in, uh, tomorrow never dies. They do this.

You're left with Stamper. They do this. Well, then later, Nickknack did it in, uh... Every time. Every time. Well, no, odd job gets killed before, Goldfinger's the last to die. But Odd Job's, he's left with

Odd Job. Goldfinger gets away and he's left with odd job. This one, this happens. Jaws is always left around. The guy that may or may not be supernatural in Live and Let Die is left around. You know, it just... Fair and Semedy. It's very... It's continuous.

These guys don't get left around. On specific instructions and with the compliments of... They're like, we got away with this once. She turns into an absolute sympathy in this scene. It's funny, too, when James Bond is in the back of the trunk, he smashes

this guy's perfume. Yeah. And that's how he's like, you know, he spent all that time in the trunk smelling that horrible perfume, so then he recognizes it here. But it's funny that they put so much effort into that twist, which has nothing to do with the story. They put as much effort into the twist as they did

into this cake bomb situation. Yeah, a dessert called bomb where they have decided to they have this fake cake situation but they've also decided to put fake frosting around it while having fake frosting around this instead of just having a bomb

pulling this up and putting it in there they've prepared another tray yeah but not another top correct yeah it's why would they bother and then he sets this here instead of setting it before he goes in yeah we've got two different trays with a fake or a real

frosting bottom We just got to hear her go, yeah, yeah. No, she's already done it. It's when he walks at her with the... Yeah. Her takes in this... It's bizarre. And this is the second time.

James... I like him figure this all out and really, really like... Instead of jumping up and starting to stop them, he'd rather, like, let them absolutely know he knows who they are. He's so confident. He's quite excellent. Although for such a grand meal, I had rather expected a claret. of course

that told him unfortunately she's making eyes like she thinks that he should be treating them this way she's making eyes like I can't believe I get to fuck the guy

that knows everything about wine I can't wait to see what he knows about sex he's dumb servers oh shit and I've smelt that

after shave before and both times I've smelled a rat and then he does light it up his kebabs just to walk all the way over there that's it There is so much death coming at her, and she looks like she's seen a cockroach.

She's strangled. She just moved back. This is weird. Approached by two flaming, essentially flaming swords. Yeah. Yeah, he's got two flaming kebabs coming right at her. James Vaughn's getting... Unfortunately, it's an interesting approach.

Go after the guy that's not strangling him. Kill that guy. She's like a cat. Yeah, she does this weird wall thing. She later kind of... He just dives over the side on fire. is also strange. I mean, I guess it puts it out, but doesn't that mean he's probably still alive?

He can come back. I could use a little Mr. Kid, the Daniel Craig movie. Let's have him show up. And then she picks up the real... Like all the things she could pick up and throw. What is this going to do with him? Hurls it way over his head. This is some excellent...

And then this takes so long to organize, tying this up. Pulls up the necklace he had had with, I believe, his perfume on it, pulls it up behind him, then attaches the bomb. And then he likes it. He's smiling for a second. He's pulled my hand up between my legs. They would love to be killed in a gay way. Strapes the bomb.

He doesn't know about the bomb. And pour it over his ability to flip him into the air. An amazing flip. That's close up in the air. They shot that with a trampoline. He runs by and they cut it right before he. He says he left with his tails or two knees. That's not the great end.

That's not the greatest line, but that is a great scene. That is the great. greatest ending to a James Bond movie. That might be. Ever. That might be. I love this movie. Yeah, because it's just fun seeing those guys through the whole movie and then just get dispatched.

I want to just see an edit of just the Winton Kids scene. That's its own movie. Right. That's so funny. Because usually he ends up going off with the girl and getting, you know, just getting laid. But this one, he doesn't, you don't even see them in bed together. They repeat this with McNack. That's what they do.

He shows up at the end. Yeah. Man with the Golden. He shows up. and then he puts him in the suitcase up on the mast. Get me down, get me down. I'm in the cognate. I like that one a lot.

I like the man with the golden golden golden. The Riviera, the sands, the dunes, the landmark, the international hotel, the tropicana, the mint, and circus circus. It's practically the same ending with a girl in a bikini running around trying to help him in the lair. And it's Britt Eklund. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. One little thing I found over the week that I wanted to share with you guys both, I found online that in 2002, rather, they released a Frazier soundtrack.

Okay. That has music from the television show. Frazier. They also have clips every time they decided to sing on the show. And I remembered this. They're trying to figure out a song they know. Come on. Hit it.

Pull the fingers. touch he's a man the man with the minus touch a spider's touch a spider's touch a spider's a guy in the bar who only knows three songs happy birthday America the Beautiful and gold figure ah thank you such a cold finger beckons you to enter his web of sin that's it That's awesome. And that is the goldfinger track from the Frazier CD that is called Toss Salad and Scramble Eggs and other Frazier favorites.

Oh, I remember that song. Yeah. Yeah. If you ever needed a four and a half, you've ever needed a four and a half minute version of this. I don't. I soundly do not. Do you have the Seinfeld soundtrack?

I'd like to hear a long version of that. Toff salads and scrambled eggs. Anyway, diamonds are forever, guys. Upon revisiting it, did you like it more, Matt Gourley? I think I stayed the same, but I've always been a fan. Doug up or down. I was a little disappointed. I would have to go on the Doug camp of this and be a little disappointed by this.

Did you name your notes? I did. Notes are forever. Oh, I put diamond notes forever. Diamond notes forever. I like that. Let's just go ahead and let's, let's just go ahead. and let's just leave you all on the Kanye West remix. Oh, Jesus.

Well, now, I don't know that we're going to have a chance to record anything else before the holidays. Yeah, so what we're going to say here is I have a happy James Bond holiday. Hopefully some of you for Christmas, you received the James Bond box set. Maybe that's under your tree. Yeah. And you can catch up along with us. And maybe if you're looking for stuff to do,

I know a gentleman at this table who has a number of, podcast that you could listen to over the break. There's a lot of stuff to listen to. Doug loves movies, of course. Dining with Doug and Karen. You could go on to Jash on the YouTube's and check out getting Doug with hi. It's a video podcast.

I mean, come on. It's everything you ever want. Douglass minis, a spin-off from Douglas movies. Oh, boy. $2 premium episodes of the Benson Interruption. Get it. I'm on a couple of those. They're fun. Yeah, you're all over all of my shows.

And I'm having fun doing all this stuff And when I heard that you had this idea for this thing, I had to be a part of it because... I mean, you're just synonymous. It's so awesome. You're a patron saint. We thank you. To just dissect the crap out of these movies.

Doug, you might be our Ian Fleming. So I'll see you guys next year for... Whenever you get to that other one, you were saying I might join in on. Yeah, which one was it? Oh, do you want me to say? Yes. Say it, say it. I don't mind spilling the juice.

it was Moon Raker Yes Right or was it Octopussy No It was either one It was Moonraker I love my loves

Oh that's great But after the holiday Break James Bonding We'll return Okay here we go With the last Brosnan The last of Brasman

Let me just say something really quickly Go ahead About last week So James Ballet I heard a little Mac really caught a little flack On the internet

I did catch a little flack and I would like to not, I can't apologize for not liking those movies but I can't apologize for you people

who are stuck under the thumb of big Brosnan and it's time to wake up no, I'm sorry if I got a little negative but it just, you know, it hit me.

He was tired. I was. He got a little negative. It's been a long couple of weeks but we do wish you guys. Those movies would be work for me too. Yeah, thank you, Doug.

I think maybe we'll have to revisit. Considering one of my favorites of all time was a little bit of work. Yeah, that's true. I think there may be some, there may be just a general inability to hold up with these movies. There's a cumulative effect that as much as we love

these movies, there is. I think you love the whole idea of it more now and the fact that in your head, you could clip together the best one ever with all the best elements. Yeah. And Doug, if you ever, ever decide to interrupt another James Bond movie at Sinai.

I want to do them all. Like, this one would have been so much fun interrupt because there's like those like stretches where there's plenty of room to make jokes. Matt and I are at your disposal if you ever need us to do that. If we want to do a special, we could do a special something or rather with James Bonding and Doug loves interrupting movies. So I'm sorry I interrupted James Bond will return in. Golden Night. Golden Night. Merry Christmas everybody.

Happy Christmas, John. Now leaving nerdist.com. Hey, this is Arnie Neacamp from the Improft Fantasy podcast. Hello from the Magic Tavern. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical land of food. And I started a podcast. Season three has just begun with a brand new adventure to defeat the Dark Lord. If you're a new listener or you've fallen behind season three is a great jumping on point.

And we've got great guests like Justin McElroy. I sat like a fancy college professor. Hey, Nats. Rachel Bloom. You all see my collection of men corpses. and one woman. Felicia Day and Colton Dunn. You've seen me have intercourse with a variety of species.

It's a bummer. Andy Daly. You have the members of Genesis listed. But Phil Collins has crossed out and then circled it crossed out again. Yes, I have killed Phil Collins twice. Thomas Middletch. Jesus. I mean, Jarzos.

Ruler of the eighth circle. And that's just the beginning. Season 3, Eiffelow from the Magic Tavern is out now. Listen in Stitcher, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. podcast.