James Bonding - Diamonds Are Forever with Kristian Bruun

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

The Matt's are joined by Kristian Bruun to dive head first, like Bond into the Baja seas, into Connery's final official outing as 007. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Matt and, Matt and, James Bonding Podcast. Well, it's a new year. It's a new year and the same podcast, everybody. Welcome to James Bonding. I'm Matt. And I'm Matt as well. Matt Goreley, that is. We got a treat for you, guys. We are going over the last gasp of Sean Connery and the Eon produced James Bond films.

Until you get him again later in an unofficial joint. Just like, you'd seriously see this as someone at the time ago. Well, he's for sure done. Oh, there's like no question. Every fiber in his being doesn't want to be on that screen. And I think it's a better film for it. Christian, I'm sorry we brought you into this movie. I'm so pleased.

I'm so pleased to be brought in with this movie. Having just listened to you guys covered my favorite Bond film and my favorite Bond controversial. Oh, George Laysenby is your favorite James Bond. Yep. I think that's fair, especially there's a growing, you're on, you're writing a growing wave of people that appreciate a good bond, man. I started the wave, man. Come on. This was, I started this 15 years ago.

He wrote, he wrote this wave on a VHS of Die Hard during Christmas. Totally. We should introduce our guest from Orphan Black, Christian, and I want to make sure you get your last name pronounced. Okay, try it. Because you have to use B-R-U-N, right? Yep, correct. And I want to just, I just want it to be Brin. That's fantastic. Is it? Yeah. That was almost like Norwegian. I feel like your second U-U is basically saying, don't want to deal with an umlaut, but you get my point. Exactly. You nailed it. No one's nailed it like that before that. Did it have an umlaught at any point. No, because as far as I know, the Norwegian, it's a Norwegian name,

uh, and it means brown. Yeah, I'm very familiar with your pavilion at Epcot. Okay, thank you. Thank you. Very good. Enjoy that pickled herring. Um, it, there's no umlauts in, in Norwegian. It's a German thing, but in terms of, I, I'm pretty sure someone can correct me on Twitter. Oh, they will. Norwegian expert or listener. I'm sure there's many. I don't think there's a numelab. So the W does... Do you guys have the O with the diagonal slash through it? No, I think that's Danish.

Danish or sweet? But we do have the... We might actually. I don't know. I don't speak Norwegian. But we also have the circle on top of the A. Yes, that's okay. Which I think is really cool.

What is that sound? Oh. I think it's like Skol. Oh. Like Skoll is SK.A with that weird circle. L. And it's not Skull. It's skull.

And I think it's like an oh, oh sound almost. You come to James Bonding for the bonding, but you stay for the multicultural... The linguistics. Illumination. Yeah. So you nailed it.

Or, you know, just broon. A lot of people say brun incorrectly, but that's fine. People say brawn all the time. Well, I think your biggest clue is vacuum, right? Yeah. Bruin. I never thought of that.

I always say like prune with a bee. Oh, sure, yeah, yeah. But vacuum. It's good too, Brun. Yeah. I think in Norway it would be Brun. Yes. Almost like an U.

Yeah. It's that diphthong, I think they call it. Yeah. Brin. Bruin. You should, you should umlaught those two years. And I mean, just say, fuck it. I've got two oomlots.

And I think it would just be like, brun. Like a very pure e sound forever. Yeah. A tomb lot. Oh, I like it. I love it. You just coined that? I did.

And that's like, I want the next James Bond. I want to, uh, yeah. Toemlot. I want to pour one out for the male. for the Maelstrom ride, which was fantastic. It's been re-skinned. It's now the frozen ride. Wait, was that in the Norwegian?

That was in the Norwegian. I just went there. Did you see the frozen ride? Well, it was like beer, food fest, beer and wine fest. Oh, you went serving the best time to go. We barely got out of that. Yeah.

And we went. Why would you? I know, but here's a sad part. We went to, we walked through all of them. Yeah. And just ended up eating at the Napa Valley one. Oh my God. Because for some reason the food they had there looked the best.

Though, we did drink in many of the different countries. That sounds like heaven. Yeah, it was. Oh, it's the best. You drink yourself around the world. Oh, God. In a confined Floridian climate where thunderstorms at noon. But, you know, my favorite thing to do is like, I'll start with a taco at Mexico, right?

And then I keep wandering. And you can get that so much around here. I know, but it's just. part of exploring the world. There's got to be some kind of field trip where we go to the Epcot Pavilion, and so you get a taco for Spector. Oh, I love this. Yeah, this is great. And then where do you go next? Where did you go next? Well, you see, there's Morocco. Okay, so he goes to Morocco, right? Is it, is it Spy Who Love Me? Yeah. No, that's why I love me is Egypt. Egypt, right. But before that, he doesn't go to, is, is he in Morocco? I'm going to assume he is briefly in the beginning of this film. He goes to Cairo.

Because there's a guy with a fez on. Yes, that's in Cairo. He punches into a roulette table. You don't see him. He punches into a roulette table. But is it man with a golden gun? Where's the belly dancer? I feel like, I feel like, I feel like it's...

The belly dancers are from Russia with love, and that's Turkey. Right, but there is a belly dancer and man with a golden gun. She has it in her belly button. Is that like Lebanon? I think that's Lebanon, maybe. Well, you know what? Point is. We're really showing off how cultural we are.

You get some bread over there at Morocco with some fun. with some fun dippy things. And you keep going. You keep going. Now, you don't want to fill up. Here's why you don't fill up. Actually, surprisingly, my favorite, and I'm on the record, my favorite restaurant, you need to get reservations many months in advance, is actually at the Canadian Pavilion.

It's the Canadian Steakhouse thing. Oh, I did see that. You need to get a reservation to get the Canadian. Steakhouse? You know, they have certain... What's special about Canadian steak? And I might be unpatriotic to ask that. What is serious?

special about it. Apparently, they just, they just cook it so well. You can get a flight of martinis there. What? Martinis are not a Canadian thing. You get a flight of dessert martinis.

But Canada is one of the few places Bond has not been in the films. But there has been a few Canadian connections in Golden Eye. Hold on. Zina on the top. Has that sort of brief toward affair with a Canadian naval officer. That's right. What is that?

Zinia, I can't breathe. That's right. And then he dies. She chokes him out. And Quantum of Salas. Quantum of Salas. The lady at the end is like an attachetian. Yeah.

When he gets like to Siberia or something like that. Yeah. He's like leave or wherever they are. And she apologizes before she leaves. Little whisper. Sorry. Yeah. She's like, sorry.

You're from Ottawa? Good eye. Sorry. It's not the good deal with Ottawa. But that is the sad history of Canada in James Bond. Oh, well, let me tell. You just go in there, you get yourself a nice bone-in rib eye, some delicious macaroni and some putine.

Okay, the putine is definitely... Yeah, Canadian. And quite frankly, it's... Can you get a Caesar there? It's the best meal. Is that a Caesar salad? Nope. A Caesar is a cocktail.

It's a Canadian cocktail. The closest thing to it down here is a Bloody Mary. Uh-huh. So it's vodka, and it's tomato juice, but we have a different type of tomato juice that you use. used specially for Caesars. Nobody drinks it neat without booze in it. It's called Clamato juice.

Oh, yeah. You get that here. You have clamato juice now. Oh, good. I have raged on, it's my least favorite of all, of all. I hate fish and seafood. It is crazy. And I like Clamato juice.

I don't know why. And I like some fissioncy in it. Have you had a Michelada? I love Michelaz. I'm hooked. My, uh, my Canadian friend Scott Mosier, he and I did a podcast called Fib, and we did an entire episode devoted to how much I hated Clomato tomato juice. Have you had a Caesar, though? Because the Caesar covers it up with the vodka.

You know, I've also never had a Bloody Mary. I've never had a Bloody Mary. I've never had a no kidding. There are hangover drinks. Yeah. It's like the next morning. Is it called a Caesar because of bloody stabbing Caesar? I think so. And Caesar had been eating a lot of clams on the eyes from March when he was murdered and you could see. Or is it because it plays a joke on your digestive system and it's named after Caesar Romero who portrayed the Joker. No? I think so. It was a A long way to go. A long way to go. The restaurant's called La Salleier.

That's the point. Wow. La Salleier. But like, do you have to go into, this is Disney we're talking about it? It's in Epcot Center, yeah. Okay. Do you have to like pay entrance to the park to even just go to the steakhouse? Yeah, this is all really Epcot is.

Is it the only steakhouse in Epcot? So it's like it's only going to line up because like people want steaks when they're there? I don't know. It's just really good. It's the bad side for my money. It's the best restaurant in all of Disney World. I'm all for the bond theme. Around the world.

That would be amazing. We could really crank out like two or three podcasts in Disney. Yeah. Easily write it off. Nice. I know. That's a pretty good plan. I was thinking about going late March.

I'll hold microphones. I'll be a boom operator. Whatever it takes. Well, you know what we should do is just bring a bunch of people and like you're in the Canadian one and we come visit you at the Canadian one. It's like a scavenger hunt. I don't think they're finding guests. Whoever, whatever guests we had for whatever movie, wherever that takes place.

I think it has to be a location. And since Canada hasn't been used, Canada's out. Can't go to the steakhouse. We can find a way. We could go to their tiny Eiffel Tower and have a great time thinking about. Yeah. I think Canada is in the book, Spy Who Love Me, because I think he sneaks down from Canada into Vermont or something for that whole story.

Spy Who Love Me? The book. I don't remember Vermont in the movie. It's not the movie. He's nothing to do with the book. The book is about a woman losing her virginity. He just took the, they just took the title of the book. And that's literally it.

The book is about a woman losing. The first half, and then it takes place in England. Bond isn't even in that part. And then at the end, like the last half or third ends up, I want to say it's Vermont or something in just a little motor hotel where this woman is captured by the mob and he just happens, basically happens by and saves her. That's hilarious. It's an interesting reading.

I choose to believe he's in Canadian waters in Vue to a Kill when he gets the microchip. Okay, that's possible. That's what I choose. That's what I choose. He's in the ice. Yeah. Australia, Canada, and South Africa. Now, South Africa was featured in diamonds of forever for a little bit, but bonds never there.

Oh, yeah. No, they were just like the educational video of how diamonds are mined. And I think the Mr. Winton, Mr. Kid, were that helicopter thing. They were there. That whole scorpion scene was supposed to be in South Africa. Clearly, Nevada. where they shot. We have so much to talk about with this movie.

It's good to be underway again. It's a new year. Yeah, we're glad to be back. And Christian, I just, you know, we like to ask all our guests, our first time, or is their childhood entry into Bond if they loved them, if they, what were the first movie was? I was a huge fan of Bond from the first movie I watched. And I think, as I was, I was thinking about it the other day. And then you brought Matt a gift today, which was the poster for this film.

and I think of you to kill was the first Bond film that I saw. What a wonderful life. It's a wonderful life. And that's your first exposure to Vaughn? Because you've got, you've literally got nowhere to go. Well, you've got literally nowhere to go, but up and down. You know what I'm saying? Perfect starting.

It's like great. I do have a soft spot for that one. Me too. It's great. And this poster. Thank you, Matt. You're very welcome. He brought me the one sheet.

It's, it's great. a great poster. Yeah. Yeah. You know, Matt and I did a podcast last week. The last one that was out was the posters. Yeah.

And so I had had the save searches up on eBay because we were going through some of the posters on eBay. And then I saw it pop up and I was looking at it and I was like, oh, there's no fold lines in it. It's beautifully rolled. I was like, you know what? Matt Gorely needs this. You're a sweetheart.

You're my boon. It's great. That was my intro. And so my first favorite bond was Roger Moore because that was my first bond that I ever saw. Yeah. So I loved this campy, goofy, odd duck of a bond. And now as an adult, I'm like, I don't.

Oh. Like, my least favorite is Pierce Brosnan. Sorry, Pierce, if you're listening. No, this is ridiculous. You just brought him in here because you and him share this weird view of Pierce Brosnan. He's terrible. He's such a pawns. The only one he's good in is Golden Eye.

His first film, he was actually quite good. We didn't even talk about this. Tomorrow Never Dies, by the way. This is obviously the rational mind. I'm not. But I will give you this. I think one of the, this is very controversial, one of the best Bond themes ever,

the Cheryl Crow Tomorrow Never Dies. Oh, wow. We're back on board with that. We're back on. It's a brilliant. I hear that Katie Lang surrender song at the end of the movie that was supposed to be the theme song, and I think, how are they crazy?

It's so good. And that Cheryl Crow one. I love the Cheryl Crow one. I remember sitting in the theater watching it and just being like, it struck me to my core. This is what I love about James Bond is there's always something for everyone. Like I would have never thought that, but you pick out these weird little, because there's so much of everything in this franchise that you're bound to like some weird outlier.

Turns out. Turns out, I mostly like the outlier, but I don't know. Well, I mean, I like George Lisenby, so. Yeah. No one's going to blame you. George does a great job with the material he's given. He does a fantastic job. He does a jerk to work with, I guess.

Yeah. So, so, View to Kill was your first and then, do you remember, that was the first one you saw in the theaters? No, that I saw,

that I just remember seeing. Okay. And do you remember your first theater bond? First theater bond, quite possibly was, in fact, I'm quite sure, was Golden Eye.

Wow. So I had seen a bunch of films at that point. Yeah. Don't remember ever seeing the Timothy Dalton ones in theaters. And was Vuto A Kill

Roger Moore's last one? Yeah. Okay, so, so, well spy who loved me was his best but you know listen this podcast is firmly in the view to a kill camp it's actually the one of the few things Matt and I agree on it's my second favorite we mostly agree except on the the derisive topic of Pierce Brosden and four of the James Bond movies fair enough although we both agree although no you like dying other days campiness

like it I just like it you like it's absurdity It's cringe-worthy. Whereas, like, Spector is just infuriating. Yeah. You can watch Die Another Day and laugh and enjoy it. Yeah. And it falls in line with a campy bond film. Yeah.

But then you watch something like Spector and you're just like, who approved any of this? And who agreed to do any of this? Why are you saying this dialogue? Why are you doing? I watched it on the weekend and was just like, my jaw was dropped the whole time. I'm so curious to revisit it. It's been a while for me. Which way?

What? Yeah. Specter. Oh. I put it on. I was really looking forward to it. To, like, test audio for our TV recently. So I put the opening scene on.

Opening's great. Yeah. Opening's great until the helicopter. I put it on like five times. So I've seen that a bunch of times, but the rest of the movie, it's been since kind of. You know what my go-to when I was setting up a 5.1 Dolby surround system in my homes has always, you often do? As I, you know, every time I moved, I would do it. I'd just set them back up.

Kramer versus Kramer? The launch in Apollo 13. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, man. You want to make sure that bass is just right. I think I would test it with Jurassic Park. Sure.

That's good. Yeah. T-Rex. I used to do saving Private Orion, too, just to hear the little... Another great... Bullets. Yeah. Another great test of your sound system.

Believe it or not. Yeah. Demo disc. That's true. Is the Ghostbusters Proton Pack power up in the elevator. There's so much bass in that. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

It's really great. It's a good mix. Speaking of elevators. Yeah. This movie? You just killed James Bond. I love, you know what, I love, what I did love about diamonds are, uh, are forever where all the, with, with Connery, you get a lot more weight.

He's got a punch. He's got a punch. Uh, you get more spy tactics. That's true. Like, I loved the like, I'm making out with my shelf and nobody can tell. Yeah, but did you notice this the first time I noticed this? That that works for the camera, but where Peter Franks is walking, he would just see this James Bond like just rubbing his shoulders.

I think he was called. I think he was more going with. It was Amsterdam. It's a quirky Dutch place. Well, let's get into this, huh? Let's dive in right at the beginning. All right. Last we saw James Bond.

His wife had been murdered. Oh, brutal. I'm glad you followed up on Her Majesty's with this film. Yeah. Because I was watching it this time like, okay. Yeah. Zero reference to the dead wife. Zero emotion from Sean Connery about it.

It's like it never happened. All's well. I'm happy. Well, it was the, like, to that point, I was watching the scene where Money Penny gives James Bond his Peter Frank's identity. Yeah. And she's like, would you like anything from Amsterdam? She says, a ring with a diamond? And like, I'm like, he just fucking lost his wife.

You are so horrible right now. I never thought about that. Yeah. They're so horrible. Do you think, though, that this is an interesting choice. I don't know if we talked about this last time, that in the first two little vignettes when Bond is chasing down Blofeld,

they don't show his face. You just hear his voice. Is that almost kind of like, you think you're getting that dumb guy again? But you're hearing Sean Connery's great. You haven't seen a commercial or looked at the poster outside of the movie that you just walked in.

Which, by the way, I was then expecting like a very pronounced entrance of them. Yeah. Because I'm like, oh, they're setting it up. And all these just coming down the stairs in like a weird tan. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I know. And then immediately right off the bat with like classic Sean Connery Bond, like woman physical, like smack in the woman basically. Like choking her out and her own thing. With their own bikini top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great entrance, Bond. It's like Connery picked it himself. That's just the way that James Bond was in those days.

I know. Like Connery was. There was a few moments in this film where I was like, ooh. dated. Very dated. A few, a few references to race and also sexuality and yeah, does not

age well in that sense. And I went on an architectural tour of Palm Springs over the break. Oh, you did? Yeah, and... That house, huh? We saw another house designed by the guy who designed the thumper and... Bambi house.

Willard White's summer house or whatever? Yeah, it was it was nice, I guess. It was interesting. Was that shot in Palm Springs in that house, or was that in Nevada as well? I don't know. He was just saying that it was the architect, and I just assumed it was probably in Palm Springs. I don't imagine that house is in Nevada. Yeah, for enough. We also went to... I've never been to Nevada or Vegas. It's high on my list. What? Oh. I think it's changed a bit since this film.

This is, guys, the three of us could make so many podcasts. Go to Vegas and then Disney World. this is literally you just do a podcast of showing Christian Brune classic pockets of America that's right yeah the first time yeah this wide-eyed wonder boy like oh I love it I love it I love it christening Christian um man that's like my dream just to hit Vegas and then go to Disney World yeah those are your two sweet spots those are my two I'm not a Vegas fan

those are the two places that my wife is like really you want to go there again I honestly, I don't like Vegas, but it's just... I don't think I will either, but I really want to go. Well, you gotta go. I want to go for like a sleepless weekend. I think had you... I'm not going to gamble. Had you not...

Oh, well, we're going to gamble. Had you not been shooting a Volkswagen commercial during my wedding, I think you would have... I would have enjoyed that because of the whole purpose. That would have been... Yeah, I know, but it was... Yeah, we did. And your wife hates Vegas and you got married in Vegas?

She likes Vegas. We got married at the Venetian. We had a love... We had a reception at Bouchon. It was very... very nice and it was just a lot of fun to get it because we're we're both from Boston and she had lived in New York for years and I was had been in L.A. for years and we met out here and we were just like how the hell are we going to get everybody to travel to the same place?

So we were like let's just go to Vegas. Everyone can fly there. There's cheap flights there. Oh, constantly. Everyone had a great time. Everything happens for a reason, Matt. And I will, I have a great story about this Matt. We were at a Christmas party. and because of that Volkswagen commercial that he filmed and missed your wedding for, he actually taught me the correct way to pronounce my car's name. Oh, that's right. Because I was calling it a TIG-1.

Yeah. And you're like, actually, they prefer if you call it a TIG-1. Now, I hope I can actually go, actually, it's this. Come on, I've been pronouncing a TIG-Wan for weeks now. But I just hope I didn't just come at you and go, actually, push my glasses up on my nose. You really mansplained it to me. I did. Oh, God.

No, because I think I had it pretty mansplained to me that day where I think I was, I wanted to give it this like, like, like Spanish thing like Tijuana. Yeah. But it's Tiguan. It's the most boring pronunciation you could come up with for that thing. And they were very serious about it. Like a Native American name. Yeah. Does anyone know what Tiguan means?

Oh, God. I feel like I did. But it may also be a nonsense or. Nonsense German word. Yeah, like... But Germans don't like nonsense. I lived there for a year. They don't like nonsense.

They like order. Order is really what gets Germans going. In so many ways. They love numbers rounded off to no decimal points. You want to have like 300 decimals if you have to. You don't want to round anything up. Precision and order. Oh, my God.

It's a blend of German words for tiger and iguana. Tiger and Leguan So it should be Tiguan But the crazy thing is I did a whole commercial Where I'm holding an actual Like combination iguana tiger It was an iguana with a tiger head

And they never explained to me That that's what that is I just thought it was some absurd thing That they were doing Are you serious? Yeah I had no idea I don't know if I ever saw that ad

No Yeah well I mean They ran those things In so many different ways In different places I did like 32 of them and you'd only end up seeing like five or something depending on where you lived or I don't know that's so funny um Volkswagen if you're listening just just get Matt back yeah get Matt back

oh that that's the one oh my god I remember that that was one of the first ones I did and I wanted to keep that thing because it's awesome you can I don't know what you googled but it's an it was an amazing I've Volkswagen I literally Googled Vogue the iguana Tiger Volkswagen. And that came up. That's exactly the first picture that comes up is Matt Goreling standing next to a Volkswagen and a tiger iguana.

Can't wait to get a Google image search residual. Speaking of Google image search residuals, Sean Connery appears in this movie. Okay, I do have an overarching bond question about this. And it sort of came up, I think, when you guys were talking about Honor Majesties. Like, how does it

work with obviously like Connery comes back and is Bond again and like things are kind of out of order in terms of who's playing Bond but in terms of

information that you get throughout the films is it always assumed that you know you mentioned M Dame Judy Lynch going through Brosnan and and Daniel Craig

yeah and it's still the same character there's there's no I guess Daniel Craig's reset, though, isn't it? Yes.

This is, again... This is the great... This breaks everybody's brain open when I talk about how I view Daniel Craig's character. Right. Yeah. I think of him...

Yeah, I think of him as, you know, James Bond, and I think that between... Between Quantum of Salas and Skyfall, I think all 22 James Bond movies happened. Jeez.

Oh, my God. I think that all... of those missions he went on. But then how do you explain Blofeld and Specter? I know. That's the thing that tears it apart. That's too bad because it's almost as if it doesn't work that way. This Blofeld?

Oh, Charles Gray. Charles Gray, right. So he was an ally of Bond in you only live twice. Yeah, actor, yeah. Australian. This is the first time they have ever bothered to ever even justify why Bond doesn't recognize him because he's getting class. plastic surgery.

Yeah. But no, but that's not what it's for. Because it's about creating body doubles. Yeah, that's not what it's for. And giving them plastic surgery to look like Blofeld.

They're not changing Blofeld's face. It's not to change everybody else's face to blowhels. It's to make everybody look like Telly Savalas. So this is my theory is that they don't care if the looks of the actors are different or the actors are playing different people. It's just character all the way through. It's the only way that it makes sense. Well,

the character is the character. It's actually a good way to describe it. A theory. I had had a long time ago, which gained some traction on the internet, was that James Bond is actually a time lord working for the British government. Gained traction on the internet, guys. Well, I have a theory that people have stolen it from me. Really took off online, too, that James Bond is a time bandit.

Oh, my God, what a little person. No, he's a time lord. He's got two hearts, okay? He regenerates every so often. I love that theory. And I'm a big fan of, did I say this earlier, of franchises having multiple actors play. think I said it to at lunch today. I was talking to about the person I had lunch with

with Matt earlier. I love the idea of franchises resetting or getting new fresh blood in there just to yeah just to shake things up. I love to see new people come in and play the leads and I'm all for it. Right but what do you mean by that do you mean that you're like oh okay oh really yeah you know you want to see you want to see another Indiana Jones you want to see someone besides Harrison Ford Harrison Ford love you man but does it worry you at all that the Han Solo movie comes out in May and we have yet to see a trailer or a movie poster for it. There's a poster.

No, it's a Russian poster. It doesn't count. There's a black teaser poster that just says solo. Okay. Oh, great. I saw it on last Jedi. All right. Is it in Helvetica?

Nice. No, it was in Lake Arrowhead. Oh, geez. Nice. It wasn't Wingdings? No, but like that kind of thing, that worries me. That worries me. That worries me.

And then I started reading about it. I was just like, oh, no. It has been fraught with strife. Yeah. Frot with strife. It's been strife with fraught. Frot with directors. Star Wars is now becoming the James Bond franchise, basically.

So we're going to have good ones. We're going to have bad ones. Yeah, definitely. So expect some bad Star Wars out there. Some people felt that way about Last Jedi, you know, like, we're going to get good and bad. And you know what? I think we're all the richer for it. Yeah.

Give us all the content. Give us the... Bob Iger is much richer for it. That's right. That is true. But Rogue One, so cool. It was a period Star Wars film. How cool is that, you know?

Rogue One is a delight. I really like Rogue One. Force Awakens. Yon Fest. Yon Fest. I like it. Last Jedi. Delight.

Yeah. That was my emotion in the middle, was the... Right. And then, yay. There's a lot of weird things. But, I mean, that's what I like about Bond. is that you can have a stinker. I wouldn't say,

diamonds are forever, it's kind of a stinker. It's a big stinker, but a wonderful stinker. See, it's a wonderful stinker. Yeah. And I,

I enjoyed it, but I was like, I don't, the plot got away from me a bunch of times. Yeah, me too. And I had to be like, wait, how did we get here?

It also is one of the only Bond films that does a kind of creative montage editing, almost like you would in an Ocean's 11, like, here's how we're going to do the heist. And they talk about it as you see it. So in the beginning, your Bond and M and the Diamond expert are talking. And then we keep cutting away to South Africa, then to the old lady.

And it goes on for longer than I remember. And the whole thing's unfolding as those three are having their dinner and brandy. Right. Very specific. Yeah. Here's where the, here's where the, here's where the, here's where the, here's where kid and wince purpose. just falls away from actually making sense. They, okay, who's the first person that killed, the dentist, right?

Yes. Okay, so they go to kill the dentist, but the dentist is there to deliver diamonds to someone named Joe, right? When the helicopter lands, the helicopter is not asking for Joe, it's asking for the dentist. Yeah. It should have asked, the helicopter should have asked for Joe. That's right. Not the dentist.

Because the guy was supposed to deliver it to Joe, and Joe was supposed to deliver it to the helicopter. Yeah. Cut out Joe, by the way. You're paying too many people in your scheme here. It doesn't... He pulls over on his bike and he takes the exhaust thing. He takes the diamonds out to give to the guy

who's then going to give it to the helicopter guy. Because the helicopter guy's like, where's... But isn't the dentist supposed to give it to Joe and they're standing in for Joe? Yes. And then the helicopter guy should be like, also should be like, where's Joe? they don't.

Not where's the dentist? Oh, right. Right. It's like they didn't put too much effort into this film. It's also the entire plot of this movie. This is literally, here's the thing. This movie is meaningless because this whole plot literally it exists only because Blofeld was too cheap to just buy diamonds.

That's so true. Super rich. He has Willard White's entire global operation. And also an extremely difficult way of getting those diamonds. Oh, my God. You'd be able to just kind of like attack South Africa and steal a ton of blood diamonds or whatever. You talk about someone who has like, who has like, who doesn't want loose ends ever, right? It's Blofeld.

He could just sell the hotel. Oh, my God. Here's the best part of what he wants. He could just take chips to the cage and exchange it for hotels. This is, but he said, and I quote, I wrote down. Yes, let's hear it. Total disarmament and peace in the world. We're getting what we both want.

He says that to the doctor, the scientist, or whether his name is. Metz. He says he wants total disarmament and peace in the world. I'm like, that's so not your M.O. Blofeld. I think he's talking about Mets. That's how he conned Mets. That's how he conned.

Okay, I was wondering. It's more of his overly complicated bullshits. It's a little bit over the case. So what he's really trying to do is just hold everybody ransom. Yes. So that they pay him and then he destroys everybody's nuclear armaments, except for one person. Except for one person. Which ultimately, I think he really just destroys everything and then just enjoys his money.

Okay. This is the first just bat shit crazy plot. And this is Tom Mankwintz's first go as screener. writer, I think. This to me is the first Bond film that truly jumps the shark because even like you know, know, you only live twice jumps.

I know, but I think it's testing the boundaries because it's still, it's still. The plastic surgery? Where in Bond gets plastic surgery to become a Japanese man? I know, but it only ends up with a bowl cut and nobody recognizes. At least it's linear though. At least, at least you can follow it and there's a path and you could work your way backward and forward.

This movie you can't. No. And it doesn't even matter. Like, it's the first time where they just go. This plot exists only to serve these set pieces. And for that reason, I love this movie. Okay, I want to talk a little bit, a little bit more about this plot, okay? Here's where I'm getting a little confused.

Scene one? Mashed potatoes. I mean, should we just, should I just talk about my problems with the plot as we go through the movie, or should I just broader stro? Yeah, because we're not even to the opening titles yet. I want to talk about when Connery puts his hands up and he does this coy little, like a what is that like I pull a rabbit from my head Sean Connery not carry no but I love it it's a great choice I love it is a great choice it's so good he is so not giving a fuck about

anything in this film and you never know if it's Bond or Connery yeah but it's like a perfect marriage of the two and it is a kind of a delightful he's a real dick in this film yeah like Bond is the biggest prick that I've ever seen Bond B in this film well it's because his wife just died yeah that is a good question which his wife just died. His wife just died. Which movie is Bond the biggest dick in? Doctor No or this one?

Doctor No. Yeah. He's a snot in Doctor No. This is why we love him, though. Yeah. I don't know if I love him anymore. I don't think he age as well. I think he's the most iconic looking bond.

I love the style, except for in this film has the worst fashion out of any bond film. It's true. Quite possibly. Ever. Very true. And you talk about the tailoring on George Lasonby, and it's like, it is perfect. I'm like, my God, if I had that body and that tailor, the world would be mine. But this is like the worst for fashion.

But Connery is the iconic James Bond in terms of look, setting it all up and whatnot. But I don't think it ages well. No. I think the more you watch it, it's the most misogynist of all of them. Yeah. I don't mean, I don't like it for the misogyny. I just mean the dated feel of it. It's so stale.

It is the lighting. It's the madman James Bond, which is kind of delightful in its own way. Yeah. also incredibly dated. But like fourth season, Mad Men, fifth season Mad Men. It's, yeah. It's really something. I mean, something I feel like I pointed out last time, which I feel like I have to point out again.

Fair enough. The disgusting-looking, smelling mud that covers people, James Bond somehow knows exactly how to operate the mud machine. Yeah, you got to do a summer salt to get to it. It's amazing. And the mud kills the dude. The mud is enough to kill the guy. The guy just doesn't move his head to the side and like breathe. Well, he dies from the puke from Exorcist being dumped on him.

Two people are undone in this movie by viscous liquids. The fire extinguisher. Oh, sure. Another questionable death. Yeah. Well, I think that would just suffocate you, right? He falls. That's how I took it.

Yeah, CO2 getting sprayed in your face. No oxygen coming in, Matt. I will say thank you to this film for making me understand. understand Crispin Glover more. Yeah. Because I watched Mr. Winterkid. He's Wint.

He's Wint, yeah. And I was like, oh my God, that looks like Crispin Glover. Oh, you just picked it up from that. Yeah. And then I'm like, that's his dad. Oh, my God. Everything makes more sense now. I didn't know that.

Honestly, I didn't know that it was his father until three months ago. No, we talked about it. When we talked about it. But like three years ago when we did this. movie because I have a story about this guy. It was whenever that was. It was whenever we, it was with you, but I figured it out. Well, I had putter smith on my I was there two show. Yes. For this movie, it's worth. Did you? Yeah. Mr. Kid? Uh-huh. And he's just a jazz bassist and not an actor. Because you can tell he's not an actor. You can hear you. And lovely guy.

Disagree. He's better than Chris McGlover's dad. That's true. That is true. Yes. Better than Chris McGlover's dad? Yeah. No, he's better. He choose it. I could see both of your points. I love both. of them. First of all, I will put that caveat down that I actually love them as villains, even though they're, but they're the worst villains at the same time. They can kill normal people, but they're like, they have all these opportunities to kill James Bond and they just walk away. They're like, yeah, leave them in a pipe, leave them in a coffin, like, that's going to get sealed up at least 12 hours later. That was the fastest pipe building I've ever seen, by the way. I know. Well, it has to be if they want to kill him. That's true. But so I interviewed Putter Smith. He lives in South Pasadena,

and he's just a jazz bassist. And I don't know if I told this last time we talked about it, but I'm going to tell a tale out of school right now. I love it. He, Putter Smith was a wonderful man and very talented guy and wouldn't say a bad thing about Bruce Glover. But it's known in the industry that Bruce Glover is as weird as Crispin Glover. Yeah, and it's difficult.

And I actually went back and forth with him on email to get him and I was there once too. And he kept saying, oh, I can't so busy what with Oscars coming up. I'm not kidding. He would go on and on and they were like capital letters in the middle of words. And he's not a teenager doing some Twitter thing or something. And so then after I interviewed Putter Smith, I went inside and his lovely wife. We sat down and we talked to her a bit and she kind of went and I'm only saying this because I don't think he listens to podcasts. But she said, you know, Potter won't tell you this. But Bruce wasn't very nice. When when Putter got to set, Putter said, you know, I've never acted before.

Could you help me? And Bruce said, don't worry, just give me your lines. Oh, God. And he tried to take his lines from him. Oh, that's so gross. And that makes sense. What a dumb thing. Yeah.

What a dumb Crispin Glover's dad thing to do. Line thief. Bruce Glover wanted line thievery. Amazing. Yeah, so the appearance of Bon he's there to kill Blofeld. He thinks he kills Blofeld. He returns and then he's real fucking bothered

by having a dude diamond smuggling. Yeah, Bonn, yeah. Sure you want to use our section on this? I know. I noticed something I never noticed before, too, that when Bond and they're talking to this diamond expert and they're talking about Brandy and he said, you would have noticed, he talks to Em,

he goes, you would have noticed if it weren't for your liver or something implying like M has cirrhosis. Oh, wow. That's sad. He's snappy. He's a real dick. What a weird thing to throw in? Because it doesn't serve the story other than the...

Maybe that's why he's a dick in this film because he doesn't want to be doing this stupid diamond mission until he finds out it's blowfeld. Yeah. You know, he's mad at him. He's mad. He's just like, well, fuck it. I'm just going to like party and, you know, ooh, Jill St. John. Great. Yes.

Awesome. Hang out with her for a while. Also, this movie is a vehicle for her to just be in a bikini all the time. All the time. I mean, I don't mind, but... No, she's always done it for me as a bond girl, but not necessarily in the acting department. I don't mean to sound bond-level massage.

Really? She drops. Are you serious? Yeah, I thought she did an okay job. But you don't think that character... For a bond girl? I don't know. I think just that, listen up, Charlie.

Okay. You keep leaning on that tutor, and I'll give you something to tune about. What is it? Oh, blow up your pants. She says that to the kid. She was giving these shit lines. Who can do that line Blow up your pants

And she should have been like put her foot down and say like I gotta say something else Yeah But like there are stinker Stinker lines in this film Wait let me ask you something When they're on the cruise ship in the end And she's that take of her going

Yes I love it That is a really odd choice That is my exhibit A in some of her acting choices That is an editor and director problem. Okay. Because I'm sure she didn't go,

uh, in every take. She probably did that in one take as a joke. Probably they only did one take. Connery was probably like, yeah, because I noticed there's a lot of like insert shots of people pressing buttons and they're like not hitting the buttons and they have to kind of

scramble to get the buttons. It's clearly a one take movie where everybody's was like, it's Bond. So many weird takes. There's some actually interestingly set up shots that Guy Hamilton's doing like, almost Spielbergian where you'll you'll stay with one thing and then that moves out of the frame

and then it rack focuses into something else and it's more thought than I'm usually used to seeing in these older bonds. And it shouldn't take you out of the film. There was another moment in the worst car chase I've ever seen, not through Vegas, through the desert in the moon rover. Oh, boy.

The saddest moon rover thing vehicle. But when they get the stupid three-wheeled vehicles going, and the one guy like falls off and then he goes to like put it back up and he starts it and you see him start it and then he sits on it for a really long time

and he waits pretending to sort of fuddle with something but not at all until finally Connery runs and gets there and knocks him off that was a one take that was a one take

they didn't do another one where they're like hey Sean can you get the timing right he's probably like oh fuck off it's hot a shout a shout a out here I'm sweating my ass off like you get one take on that

because it's so pathetic we're jumping all over the no it's what we do here at this program. When Winton Kidd hold hands for the first time and you realize something different is going on here in a Bond movie, the little John Barry score that he puts in there, do do do do, right at that moment, right when they touch hands. And it's like, it's just as camp as the whole movie.

Yeah. The score is eerie and weird, and I just love it. I don't know what it is. It's like, as I was watching it, I felt like I was watching the Hunterst Thompson version. of the James Bond film. That's exactly right. It's fear, loathing in Las Vegas

meets Bond. Like the whole circus I was like, wait, this is like straight out of the Terry Gilliam film. Like, this is insane. There's an elephant

gambling and like playing the slots with its trunk and it wins and celebrates. And then a very questionable woman turns into an ape, a very racist scene. Yeah, that's right.

And you're just like, oh my God, what is going on in this film? Listen, I just want to point out that that elephant won by hitting three elephants. Oh, my God. On the slot machine.

Which made it extra exciting. On the giant slot machine. I was like one elephant, two elephants. The attention to detail. And Q just shows up at one point in, for no reason. Except to get him in the movie, to shoehole. To get him in the movie. Yeah.

To rig machines and win at every machine. And Tiff Case comes in as like, hey, Q, how you doing, buddy? And it's the oddest scene because it's like they've never met before. There's no way she knows who he is. Yeah. I mean, you have to make the assumption that Bond told her who, Q is and what he looks like, because she just shows up. She's like, hey, Q,

how can I get to blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. It's the most shoehorned scenes. This is one of the movies with the most deleted scenes that seem to survive to either the, like, DVD extras. Oh, really? There's a Sammy Davis Jr. cameo that they cut out. There's, I believe, the scene where Plenty O'Too goes to Tiffany's house

and to kill her because it doesn't make sense. Yeah, she just shows up dead. She just shows up dead. Yeah, there was originally an explanation. They probably cut the scene because she was terrible. Shalana Wood was not at the level of, say, a Bruce Glover. Oh, she seems sweet. She does seem sweet.

Oh, she's my favorite. She lives up to her name. She is, by far. She is terrible. And Bond is famous, like James Bond films are famous for having the one Bond girl that he sleeps with who's just pure looks department and a terrible actor and I feel so bad for these models or actresses like every time she drowns in this movie and her sister drowns hey but that was the part that was the fault of another bondville that's right wait her sister oh the connection Natalie Wood

Natalie Wood is her sister but this happens in the 80s so plenty of tool drowns in the pool uh-huh and Natalie Wood in real life drowned that's Natalie Walker and Christopher walking is there Christopher Wacken was on the book of George Hamilton. And he's in view to a kill. Right. And this is all coming together. What's his name? Oh, hold on.

What was Natalie Wood's husband? George Hamilton. No. Oh, no, no, sorry. He plays number two in Austin Powers. I want to say Robert Urick, but it's not him. Robert Wagner. Robert Wagner.

Who's married now to Jill St. John. No. I swear. Wow. Oh, my God. I don't know if they're still married, but they were for a long time. What is the conspiracy theory, though? That's the problem.

This was all orchestrated by Cubby Broccoli. The Broccoli Empire. Oh, my God. Pinewood Studios is behind this. We are all connected. By the way, Toronto has a Pinewood Studios now, and when it got built, it's the best, like we filmed a season of Orphan Black there. It is an awesome studio.

It's now solely been taken up by Star Trek Discovery. Which season of Orphan Black can you do a thing? hearing. I went to the Orphan Blacks at season one, and I got to tell you, you were not in Pinewood. No. We were there for the first two seasons. It was terrible. And then we got Pinewood in season three, and we're like, yeah, brand new, awesome, amazing Pinewood studios.

They were incredible. And then they were so incredible that all these big American productions booked them for years in advance. And we couldn't go back there the next year. So we were in another studio near the first one. That was kind of like the first one, but a little bit better, for the last two seasons. But for that one season, we were at Pinewood. And Pinewood, Pinewood or Pinewoods? Pinewood.

And everybody in Toronto was thinking, oh, my God, they're building a pinewood in Toronto. We're going to get a Bond film. Oh, yeah. They're going to shoot a Bond film in Toronto. Finally, he goes to Niagara Falls. Yeah, the most boring country to shoot a Bond film. Unless we need, like, a good classic ski scene. I know.

We haven't really had one. Or, like, it would be, yeah, just something in the mountain. I do love a good bond ski scene. Me too. I love nothing more, to be honest. I want to see another ski off a cliff and open up a parachute with the Union Jack on it. This time it's a big old maple leaf. Hey!

Yes, Canadian bond. The next bond will be a Canadian. He could. I mean, it is... We've had an Australian, we've had an Irishman. That's right. As long as the accent is right. All of the...

Well, all of the UK except for... No, they're... Wales, Scotland, Ireland, England. Well, Ireland is not part of the UK. Careful now. Northern Ireland. Yeah, sorry. But I meant British Is Pierce?

He's not Northern Irish. I don't know if he's, I think he's Irish. He's Irish, Irish. So let's get a Northern Ireland person. And then let's start moving out to the Commonwealth. Have we had a Welshman? Yeah. Timby Dalton.

Oh, brilliant. Yeah. Wow. Timthy Dalton was a good bond. I'm sorry, I like that. No, you don't apologize here. Yeah. We're fans of Timothy Dalton.

What would you guys do if you came to a woman's house? Yes, unless you haven't met her. Okay. And she just keeps coming back in in different wigs and doesn't say anything about why she's doing. She's also in her bra and underwear. Well. I know that would be some men, probably their fantasy. I would be so freaked out.

He's really forward in general, but in this film, like big time. But she's like... The situation. She's like, I'm in a bra and panties and like... Of such, of her changing ridiculous wigs. Oh yeah, good point. She starts to find them on to see what she likes the most. Saying anything, like not even acknowledging it.

Just coming in. Is she doing this to get a look she wants or is it to show him? But that would scare the crap out of me. I would think I was going to be murdered. Here's the thing. With older films, you can't apply modern day logic to. That's true. You just can't.

Like, you watch a film from that era and so much is nonsensical because audiences just accepted it. They're just like, oh, this is fun. This is fun. They did not care about... I mean, he's... He says the great line providing the cuff and the collar match. Oh, my God, I wrote that down. Oh, my God.

I'm going to use that from now on instead of carpet match the drinks or whatever it. Cuff and the collar. Let me know how that goes for it. No, no, I will not actually use it. But it is brilliant. I've never heard that saying before. The note that I have prior to Collars and Cuff match, I don't know when I saw... when this prompted this note for me, but the note is Mr. Wint looks like he just wants to fuck all the time.

Mr. Wint, huh? Yeah. Yeah. I guess he does. Like he just wants it bad. Yeah. Very longing looks. Yeah.

Mr. Kidd just kind of like, just going through life. Barely. Yeah. Barely with zero effort in his looks and dress and deportment. And then, so there is the Peter Frank's thumbprint that he gets from Hugh Branch. Yeah, that's cool. And he makes the phone call to Q, and we see Q's lab, and in Q's lab, I believe I pointed this out the last time we talked about this movie, but I just want to point out again, there's an Aston Martin with missiles being lowered into it. Into its hood.

Into its hood. Yeah. Not the boot. Come on. Is that not where the motor is in that car? Would it be in the back or the front? No, it's in the front of it. They can modify it.

They can do whatever they want. It's QBridge. It's QBridge. It's QBridge. By the way. His lair, his lab, just looks like a jiffy lube. It does. It's an English version of a jiffy lube.

It's the saddest. It's the saddest location. They put no money into that location. Are those missiles huge? They're enormous. Like the reason they're not lowering them into the cars is because they can't fit in a... No, no, no.

They're just testing it. They're probably just like, Kew, we need a larger car. They just don't know. That's the only British car in the film. He drives a red American Mustang. American movies are big. It's the 70s. They skew far too American.

It's a nice Mustang. I don't like Mustangs, but it is a nice car. It's got a nice growl. They also shoot this movie. Like, they shoot the introduction of Felix Lider. Like,

we're supposed to know who this Felix Lider is. Like, they shoot it like that. Yeah. Like, they shoot it like, oh, we're going to recognize this Felix Lider. Before you get the name. It's ridiculous. Oh, that's right. Because it's a new Felix.

Yeah. It's another one-timer. He's not the best Felix. No. Yeah, maybe he's bottom-tier Felix for me. And it's not even really a fault of his, but he's just kind of not as memorable as some of the others. That is his fault.

It is. Is it? That's his fault. I guess maybe, yeah. But maybe they cast, they just wanted Chester Milktoast. I don't know. Chester, possibly. But you'd think like they...

Give me someone bland. Like, they have... bad casting this film. The guy who plays white. Oh, Jimmy Dean. Who's that? Oh, was he stoned the whole time? His first seat, you're like, how stone is he? You're Canadian, so it probably didn't get out there. Oh, my God. So Jimmy Dean was a country music star, but then

later in life, he lent his name to a sausage brand. Oh, Jimmy Dean sausage? That's him? And he would do the commercial, like, try Jimmy Dean sausages. That's his actual accent? Yeah, that's his voice. I thought that was a fake accent. No. No. Everybody is. dubbed in this movie except for the guy that you think is being

dumped and that's Jimmy Dean this movie has the worst ADR I've ever seen that's not Lana Woods voice in this really no she's being dubbed no wonder it's so weird

yeah okay and then almost everybody's ADRing their entire everything because you can't film in a casino and Sanctown

Plainview Texas and folks kind of like it and then folks would love it started buying it and then Dallas and it just kind of spread all over

and today Jimmy Dean saw It is the number one... Is that an ad? This ad for Jimenez. This rambling... Yes. It is such an odd choice.

He's just like... Right. And I'm just going to have a conversation. I'm going to speak from the heart. The sausages, though. I mean, people love... So weird. But I think, wasn't it like Cubby Broccoli knew him or Salsman did or something?

It's a cash crab. Was he a big star at the time? Well, he was, at a time, he was a bigger country star, but I don't think at this point... I will say, I think his comic timing is actually very... good. He's the driest toast. No.

His comic timing when he is, when they go back to the lab and he goes, well, what do you suppose I said? Yeah.

Like, he's just doing this. And when he comes out of the, the jar and I probably told you to burn all the things and not keep any records like

we normally do, right? See, okay, see, you watched the film knowing who he was. You're like,

oh, it's Jimmy Dean. Awesome. I watched it not knowing who the hell he was. and I was like, who is this terrible actor? You can practically see Sean Connery rolling his eyes into the back of his head in that lab scene while he's standing next to him.

And I actually felt bad for Sean Connery, then he had to work with this dude who was just so terrible. So terrible. It is a weird choice. The whole thing is weird. I'm telling you, the Hunter S. Thompson of Bond films. Maybe we need to do an episode, Matt, on some of the weirdest casting choices. Oh, there's a lot we could get into.

Newton is in license to kill. Do you think he was just mad he wasn't in this one? He wasn't a thing at this point, was he? Yeah, he was. He was a, he was a, he was a, he was a, he had a, here he already, he already dunk ashamed his way into America's heart. Yeah, this is 71. He would have been a grown man by, yeah, by then.

I think maybe that's our next episode, weirdest casting choices. I love it. That's great. Yeah. There's plenty to talk about. Right. Oh, Jim and Dean sausage. But maybe there, you know, like, some.

Sometimes they go weird and it's inspired. Like, I know, well, like, Grace Jones isn't that weird. And Christopher Walken is that weird. She's just out there. She's 80s weird. But they are, they both worked so well in that movie. Um, both in that movie so much. Sean Connery's whole approach to physicality in this movie is.

After George Lazenby, too. I would, I would describe it as anti-physicality. I really think like, first of all, okay, okay, let's just say this. We have been completely, like we've got movie stars like The Rock, who is so jacked. It's unhealthy. Like I worry for his heart and other parts of his body. And this is the other side of that.

And Daniel Craig as well, like in that first film coming out of the water and you're just like, good God, man, what the hell have you been doing? This is not a good look for men in general. It's not a normal look for men, but we've made it that way by making our action and leading men have that body. I'm saying this as a man with a dad. but still, like, Sean Connery in this film, as a man, looks great. Yeah, I agree.

You know, and he's hairy chesta. He's doing his thing. Salton peppery. I think he looks great, too. He looks great. But he moves his body like he hasn't been to the gym in a long time. No, his whole character motivation is- He just came out of retirement off the beach to do this film.

Shortest point from point A to point B. Shortest distance from point-end. Yeah. Path of least resistance. Yeah. 100%. I'd like to point out some more holes in the diamond smuggling chain. I find it hard to believe there would.

be in. Yeah. Well, man, let me just, let me take you on a journey. I'm listening. Let me take you on a little journey here. I'm all ears, but I don't think you can do it. I'm one year. Here's another problem I have with this film, which I love.

And it's not really a problem. It's just a point out. Yeah. James Bond lands in Los Angeles as Peter Franks and then gets in a hearse and has to drive in the front seat of a hearse to Las Vegas, Nevada for four and a half hours. Yeah. with mobsters.

I would say six hours. This is a hearse. It's not cruising as fast as cars go these days. Very true. Very true. The roads are crappy. They've got a body. Yeah.

They're baking away in the heat and the black. Yeah, that's not good. Nope. That's not good. They do a scene at the airport in Las Vegas later. Yeah. Like he couldn't get a connecting flight or they couldn't just like make us believe that there was a flight going directly to Vegas.

That's interesting. They laid in Los Angeles. They go to Los Angeles. It's crazy. and, you know, they get there, right? So the diamonds have been... Who gets the diamonds? So I assume M has the diamonds.

So the double O branch has the real diamonds. Oh, yeah, Q has them. Yes, he takes the fake diamonds. I think M has them, honestly. Wait, yeah, so lighter does. Doesn't he ask for him from light? Yeah, when he's in the bathtub, he calls lighter, I think. Whatever.

So they're in the hands of either the CIA or... the British intelligence agency. Oh, you mean the Brits, like, with the body. Because lighter, Felix looks at the body and he's like frisking into the dead body. Trying to find them. I don't know where you got him. And Sean Connery basically says they're in his butt or something like... Elementary.

Elementary. Which is British. You guys probably don't know that for it's in his butt. Yes. Yeah. We hit it in his butt is what elementary means. Sherlock Holmes will change for you now. Things, us Canadians know.

But... So the real diamonds weren't. weren't actually in his butt. No. Like, there were somewhere else. There were fake diamonds. Okay. When did they show up again?

This is all I've, this is what I've gathered. I could be wrong. So the internet will, I think you're right. So here. So, okay. The fake diamonds are in there. James Bond, here's my question. Peter Franks, James Bond,

Peter Franks, is traveling back with a body. But the body is Peter Franks. Who was the original body supposed to be, right? Because this is all going through a funeral home that knows how to... Well, I think the implication is after they killed the real Peter Franks, they set up this. Because he also says, when she says, we got to get these going, he's, I don't know, you want me to take this many diamonds? Like, he didn't have a plan or because he was also taking over Peter Franks' things. Yeah. So I think they made the plan after they...

Okay. So they make the plan. How do they know to contact the mobbed up funeral home? Well, Tiffany Case does it, I think. Yeah, because that's the connection to the mom. Okay, so the guy that owns Slumber Inc. Name Slumber. Name Slumber. Yeah. Is also angry about the diamonds not being real.

And the comedian was there for some reason. Well, he, Shady Acorn. Shady Trey. Shady Trees. Shady Trey and his acorns. Yeah. So Slumber and Shady Tree are part of the. this shadey tree by the way the worst stand-up i've ever seen yeah also by the way he's the

john connery playing bond of stand-ups yeah that was the end of his act that was his closing material but do you think they tried to get hanny youngman yes or john rickles or something like that i'm surprised yeah but this guy probably was uh was it so they take the uh they take the body immediately get those get the diamonds burn burn the body, I assume. Yeah, they cremate the body. I think they did. I think they just like, because he literally walks to the next room. Watches the thing go in, walks to the next room, and like a second later, they're like, here

they are. Well, they still had to pull them out of the elementary canaling, I'll presumably clean them off. Well, as I understand, you know, from my years, actually working in a funeral home, you can burn a body up, you know, it does take a couple hours. I did for four years. Can I ask you this? Yeah. How cool was it to operate one of those? machines that has a curtain button and a music button.

The thing I love about that machine is that at some point, they had the forethought to put in a button to play music when a body's being cremated, but the music is so scary and ominous. You think it should be peaceful and everything, and it's just like, oh, it's like an exorcist music. It needs to be allowed enough to cover up the sound of the flames. That is a machine that does not exist in life. That's too bad. That's too bad. You know, in Massachusetts, there's monopoly rules, so like a funeral home can't also be a

crematory and Kant also own a florist. So there's monopoly rules for the business. Thank God because they were getting away with it for you. Yeah, big funeral. You don't want to have a one, you don't want to have a one-stop shop, but they, uh, you'd have to, we'd have to go through this process with a parent. He won a one-stop. Well, you have it all.

Oh, geez. It goes to the funeral home, but you have to use a different florist. It's a whole, it's a rig and roll. But we would have to always drive out to the crematory when someone wanted a cremation. Don't die in Massachusetts. Which was like 20 minutes away from. the funeral home and you would go and it would uh it would take you know depending the fat or the person the longer it takes to burn how long does it take an average person to burn like four hours are you

kidding hours no what are they just grilling them on a spit yeah then you're not like you don't get the ashes that day the ashes are then delivered but i need them today well i'm sorry mad you're just gonna have to wait well i remember filming something i think it was in hamilton ontario which is a city just outside of Toronto, a lot of filming goes there. And the main or the base camp was parked in the parking lot behind a funeral home and a crematorium. And I remember coming out of my trailer smelling barbecue. Oh, gosh. Looking over at a garage that was, had no windows, was very sealed up with a smoke stack with like black smoke billowing out of it.

I'm like, this can't be right. Is this how it's done? And I don't want to eat anything within like a certain square mileage of here. Oh, or breathing. And that sure is how it's done, fellas. Four hours, really? I guess it does have to go that way. Did they, like, I would, four hours.

To make sure everything's burned up. Oh, I guess you're, including your giant casket that you've wasted money on? Yeah. That you get mixed in a cedar box. Yeah. Treat me like a piece of salmon and just burn the hell out. We can do a direct cremation very, very affordably. in a box no one will miss.

So you're getting ashes that are... You get the... You know, it's funny is you'll get them like a day. You'll get them like a day later. You get some charcoal. And they get delivered to the funeral home and the box is still warm. No.

That's a terrible way to go though, for Bond. For anybody. Oh, my God. That is terrifying. And he's only saved... He's saved because they're the fake diamonds. Right. It's not like that was his plan to save his life.

He got real lucky. Right, which is all... He could have been killed then. could have been killed before the pipe. Like, just shooting in that. Well, here's the, here's now the question, too, right? The three mobsters, the comedian, and the funeral director, let's say Peter Franks was never killed.

This was how he brought the body in, whatever. Bond is being killed by Winton Kitt. Winton Kidd are killing everyone up the ladder of this diamond smuggling operation for Blowfeld. To leave no trail. Right. To leave no trail. So presumably wherever these diamonds were originally going wasn't to Blowfeld. And Blofeld is getting the diamonds and killing everybody out.

So do we ever know the actual end point of these diamonds? No. Is it slumber? No. Because, no, because it is the end point the mob? How does he end up getting the diamonds and putting them into the... The stuffed dog? Yeah, something in the van.

How did it get to the van? They're in the van. And, like, they go to a gas station and the guy who's driving the van gets out. So that's another person on these... Bert. Tell him he's fired. Oh, yeah. And then someone else takes...

Bert Saxby. The doctor, they make the doctor drive the van. Not even some other lackey. Like, they make the doctor drive the van. And the van has the diamonds in it. The diamond, the van can get into the facility. Wait, how did the diamonds get into the van again? The real diamonds.

How do the real diamonds get into Blofeld's possession? You guys are missing the point of this movie. To have fun. I'm really curious. To understand it. But to just experience. All right. I guess we'll stop trying to understand the plot.

No, I don't know. I can't answer that. This is one of the dumbest plots. Correct me if I'm wrong. the I once again I'd like to bring this up the bed aquarium

is horribly uncomfortable in the Liberacee suite correct right this is the first time I noticed that not only you sleep in on hard loose sight but your pillow is an inflatable plastic pillow with the type that if you sweat for a second

and you're just gonna stick on and like a rubber burn slide off it and nail your head on the angel fish potentially breaking the glass or the plastic and then wetting yourself Wetting yourself with the aquarium water.

Right. Or yourself, out of fear. Or bleeding out. Yeah. When they go into the casino, is it a croupier for craps? Yeah. Is that what it is? That guy is so wonderfully marble-mouthed.

Oh, my God, yeah. We always do, like, who's the most British? This guy is the most American. Yeah. And I can't tell if they're intending it to be that way, or they're just not caring. Like, was a director going, yeah. I keep doing that. That's an interesting character choice or not paying attention at all.

Zero caring. That was second unit. Yeah. I think that guy was probably a real. It was probably a second unit. Probably a real croupier. And they just used him and didn't pay much attention. This film, there must have been no sag at the time.

This film uses a lot of people as extras. The whole car chase through the streets of Las Vegas. It's literally crowds of people watching James Bond being filmed standing far back against the walls, lining every street just watching these crazy stimes. Well, I mean... It's a great. That is a good... You try to get Vegas Boulevard clothes.

But there's there... That's in the inside diamonds are forever. There's... They had to reshoot that scene because there was one time where they did it where the actual spectators are in the shot. They couldn't get them out of the shot and they're like... Those are all spectators. I know, but they're at least like directed in some way to just stand there.

There was apparently some shots where like people are taking pictures and stuff like that. I don't remember what it is. You know, it almost. kind of works though because tourists would totally be into watching this police chase go through Fremont Street. That's very true. Also James Bond, excellent stunt driver. Yeah, the way he gets that car to go on its other side too. It's really... I do like the car chase around the parking lot and it's just kind of this little cat and mouse thing. And the whole time I'm like, how's he going to get out of this one? Yeah. Oh, how's it going to? Like I was actually a couple, like I was on the edge of my seat for that.

Yeah, that's a good. It's a good car chase. breaking into the Howard Hughes I was like I was like oh god I'm like getting disillian I know that was and that is a practical effect it's a rear projection it's not it's not even it's like black duveteen with just little model lights

behind it I've seen a picture of it it might even be in that book it's very effective though it works it's so great yeah it's really like nauseating yeah like it really does it works better than Hitchcock's vertigo for me yeah

oh we didn't even talk about Shirley Bassie's wonderful diamonds are forever performance. I love it. So good. Also one of the best bond themes ever. Yeah. And the Kanye West remake, remix, whatever is very good. I listen to it on the way over here.

You know what? They don't have a picture. I don't remember where I saw that picture, but it's a good one. Did you make that picture up? Maybe. It's possible. Just saw that picture of Jill St. John putting the cassette in. Oh, God. It's ridiculous.

Yeah. So, well, here's what I also don't get. So they go, the three mobsters. I'm sorry. I'm doing it again. Don't forget about Lady Blofeld. Oh, you mean Ellen Barkin? Ugly Ellen Barkin?

Charles said, is he the most British or is it the Diamond expert? I think it's got to be Charles Gray. Although maybe we give it to Charles Gray and you only live twice in the Diamond expert in one. Okay. Yeah. All right. I mean,

you can't have it twice. That's right. It's not allowed. No. You can live twice. What happens in you only live twice? Well, Charles Gray plays... The Australian.

No, he's very British in that. Oh, I looked at up a line. He said he was supposed to be Australian. Oh, well, he did the worst accent. Anyone's ever heard. No way. Oh, my God. Yeah.

That's awful. But he dresses up as a woman to escape the casino. He could dress up as... Anybody. Nobody knows what he looks like. He's been... hiding out. I mean, I guess there's some FBI looking for him or some CIA, but he does the worst drag ever and walks through the casino with his cat. It's like dressed to kill. It's frightening

when you see when you see the reveal. Oh, God. And the way he's stroking the cat. There's some classic Blowfeldisms, but also that are, you know, things that influenced Dr. Evil going on here. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Ten minutes and cowling man. He's amazing. He's amazing. Where was the effort with that? What was the casting on that one? I know, why is he German? Yeah, seriously. And nobody else is in his team.

Well, Carl Hershager. Oh, Klaus Hergesheimer. Klaus Hergeshire. We told this story last time, but that was the director's choice of he would always just call anything that needed a name, like a widget or something, just a do hickie like, this is a Hergesheimer. So they just named him Klaus Hurgashimer. But that actor, I think, is really good in this.

He's so good. He's the best day player in the whole thing. I know. He's just got great comedic timing. Also, like, I really enjoyed the conversation. I do. I do. What the day-to-day stuff is like at the Willard White Corporation.

And it's also a great little tactic of bond to just kind of play down. Really? More of that spy stuff. Yeah, it's good spy stuff. The way he gets into the building with Peter Franks originally, right? He pretends to have a key. Yeah. Who is your floor? Yeah.

Who is floor? Yeah. And, like, you know, just like does these simple little spice. things that you don't really see in Bond films anymore. It's more physicality. He would have gotten the best of him of Franks if he didn't wind up so hard for that punch and bust his elbow

over the glass. Yeah. Yeah. That's slow, slow Amsterdam elevator. I really like seeing Circus, Circus, and it's heyday. Well, you get a good 30 minutes of it. Yeah. Casino, you know, is that still there? It still is. Circus, Circus, Circus. Circus, that's where we're going when we go to Vegas.

Circus, Circus, and the Las Vegas Hilton, which is the Willard White House. That is still there. So that was called the W. Was that the original, the W? No. It was always a Hilton. I think it's just W for this film. For this film.

We had to have talked about this last. Quillard Watt, speaking. Poilard Watt. The brilliance or utter non-sensory of when Bond crashes through the lunar landscape and those astronauts can't be in slow motion. It's so

brilliant to me that I am thrown because I can't see this movie working on such a high comedic level so I'm going why is that happening? Because I can't immediately What a funny joke. It seems like such a guy Hamilton thing of like, wouldn't it be funny fellas if you just... This was the second film that he directed.

He did four. He did Goldfinger. Goldfinger, this man with a golden gun and live and let die. Wow. But he also he also didn't he take over for Richard no Richard Lester took over for Donner in Superman. In Superman too, yeah.

I wanted to say Guy Hamilton didn't. But Guy Hamilton, didn't he do a Superman movie? No, because Lester did three too, right? This is what I want to see for Bond. Dick Lester did, Hard Day, Night. As we do all these, like, spin-off movies for Star Wars, and I think we should do this for Bonn. Like, we've made Bond films so precious,

and so, like, now the recent films, each one has to have a bigger budget, but they're the highest budget films like every, like they're massive films. now. We've made them too precious and too big. Right. We need to start we, us being... Okay, the three of us. The brain trust is right here. Yeah. I would love to see

quirkyer directors with lower budgets to bond films. I know, me too. Like, make an independent bond film. Make one for like 10 million. Give it to a quirky director who has like a really funky eye. Give it, give Edgar Wright the chance to do a bond film. Give like all these interesting filmmakers. I'd give Edgar Wright the chance to do a Bond film in a second. Give a woman, like, a chance to write and direct a Bond film.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, guys, brain trust, brain trust. Jillian Anderson should be the next Bond. She put her hat in the ring on Twitter. When everybody was, like, talking about who the next one's going to be, she's like, I'd like to throw my own drink. And I would totally watch that. Here's what I'm going to say. I'm just going to go on the record.

I have no problem with James Bond. being played by other shades of man. I have no problem. Anything but Portuguese. Except, well, it's funny you say that. I do think the Portuguese are the worst. Just insufferable. My grandfather was a fucking son of a bitch.

Now, are you talking like Brazilian Portuguese or Portuguese? He was, he was Azores Portuguese, which is the worst guy. Islanders. on this. Oh my God. No, but here's my thing, though. I just think it fundamentally will change the character. I think that James Bond is

fundamentally a broken shitty man. Yeah. I think that's what he is. I've never heard you. But Brasden never played him like a broken shitty man. No. But you tried he played him shittily. Why couldn't you have a broken shitty woman, though? Well, you can, but then it's not James Bond.

It's another agent. Another agent. Okay, then let's do That I don't mind. I don't mind that. Let's do some offshoots where it's like we're following a 0005 or a double-o-down. Let me throw something out. I'm down. The distance between broken shitty man and broken shitty woman is is less than the distance between Diamonds or Forever Sean Connery and Daniel Craig James Bond.

Like that's a greater distance to me than. Yeah. To travel. I agree. You know, I just fundamentally, I think it just changes the character too much. I don't like give a woman a chance to be her. own character. But also a man has had, we've had 24, we'll have 25, is that right? We will have 25, yes, 25 will be happening.

Daniel Craig is doing the new one, the last one now. Yeah, yeah. He's like, Spector's my last one, and then whenever it was like, really, you want it to be your last one? He's like, oh, right. Oh, fuck, okay, fine. It didn't wrap that up the way. What if it goes worse? This is the risk, though, honestly, because Skyfall, it can, which I didn't like. the first time I saw it, but then have liked it in further viewings. And Spector, like, each one had bigger and badder budgets. First of all, I also like Quantum of Solis.

I do too. And also, it's not a standalone film. Casino Royale, and Quantum of Solis should be watched back to back. Absolutely. And be one giant film because they take place with, like, one starts, four five minutes after. But you should watch it, Quantum of Solis, then, Casino Royal. Oh, that's a confusing way to do it.

Okay. But back to my previous, point, though. It's like, I don't want, like, I don't need... Give it a low budget. I don't want to see a man play Mary Poppins. I think Mary Poppins is Mary Poppins. Let's give Mary Poppins a proper franchise. Oh, we are. Okay. We are. She's good. Lynn-Mittwell's there. It's going to be fine. I like that there's a female doctor, though, on Doctor Who. That is fine because the character of the doctor can regenerate into either sex and that's established in the canon, so I've literally no problem with it. I don't know

Doctor enough. I just support it. Guys, I'm just saying. The more important thing is getting back to these slow motion astronauts. Because what I want to know is, are the characters, not the actors, are the characters who are studying to be these astronauts? Yes. So method that they see this happening. They're not henchmen. They're not security guards, right?

They're just, they're either scientists or actors hired. Like the doctors or the scientists are throwing them a curveball. Like they're told not to react to anything. And they're like, well, this must be representing a lunar monster that we could come in contact with, we have to... But they slowly go for him. They do start to move forward. They don't just start to back off slowly.

They're like, oh, we've been told to get him. I just love it. It's crazy. It's crazy. And what are they doing? What purpose could it possibly be to train? No, they're forcing themselves to be slow and weightless. And in a studio where they have no room to really drive the rover and actually test it out.

When outside the studio is the landscape that's probably closest to it. And the hangers open, so it's got to be boiling hot. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. I just, the more you think about that scene, the more it will drive me crazy. Is anybody alive that worked on this film from a creative standpoint anymore? And can we get them on the phone right now?

Guy Hamilton died. Ken Adam died. Oh, man. I bet one of those, I bet one of those astronauts is alive. I would love to talk to them about that. Oh, man. I was there, too, right in the air. Oh.

Did you guys see the sign in the evil lair? At the end? If in doubt, ask in big red letters. Also, um... Clearly a different workspace in real life. There's another one. No pollution. Yes.

Not any. Very environmentalist on this oil rig. Were we supposed to like, be like, oh, maybe Blowfield does want disarmament of the world. But I think that, again, is the doctor somehow doing that. Yeah. Or then, because it's an oil rig. first and foremost. Yeah.

That for like inspectors who come in from like wherever from Baja, Calph. Baja? Baja? Baja. Baja.

I ain't got anything in Baja. These go down in the pantheon of great background bond signs like handle like eggs. And that's in two. Two bond movies. Handle like eggs. When he breaks into Willard White's

like executive bathroom. Yeah. And he's got yellow toilet paper. Two thoughts. Yeah. I remember yellow toilet paper as well. And also, I remember rose-colored.

To like make you feel like you're not going to like stain it or something? Like, what's the yellow point? Like, kind of like, it's going to get yellow anyway. Maybe it's just a variety. Oh, they don't have it anymore. No. And there wasn't there like powder blue or something? Yes, and there was pink.

Yeah. And it smelled like rose water. But do you know what I think it was, though? I think it was because in the 70s, people would just have a way more colorful bathroom. That's true. Yeah. And like soft, plush seats. I mean, he has a hoggingy throne to sit on. Yes. Yeah. That's nice. That's my next

project. Yeah. I'm building. I can see it. I feel like the literary character of James Bond would drop trow and just dump right in there. Yeah. I actually could expect Sean Connery to do that in the scene. Yeah. Because you know every morning he's a giant breakfast of scrambled eggs

and figs. Oh, it's so, I'm just like, I'm nauseated by not that, but I'm literally just thinking about but by thinking about him doing that stunt, just that, like, the idea of that actually being at the top of a hill to them. Yeah, it's good. And dangling like that with these tangs that were given to him by Q. He doesn't know if they work.

I know. It's built into a suit. No fear. Well, I got to take a Walter P.P.K. Oh, we can continue while you're gone. So. Wait, is the podcast still going? No, the podcast still goes while any of us take a PPP.

Oh, I didn't know. I thought I'd before. Do you have any questions about Las Vegas that I can answer, having never been there? Oh, yeah. I've been there. How easy is it to get a free hotel room? To get a free hotel room? Do you have to really gamble a lot to get that and lose a lot?

You can gamble a little bit, and they'll send you a lot of times you'll get offers in the mail for like, stay three nights for free and get this credit, but it's usually in the middle of the week. That's great. That's when I want to go. Oh, perfect. I'm an actor. I have many days off. You want to, what you want to do is you want to go. to like the Cosmopolitan or the ARIA. Sign up for their identity club, which is their thing.

Like I want to do the thing in Swingers where like at the last second, me and a buddy or me and a lady are just like, screw it. Fuck it. We're going to Vegas tonight. Vegas, baby, Vegas. And we do the long boring drive there. I do that all the time. Do you?

I do that all the time. I would go like when my, if my wife's ever out of town and it's like a Saturday and I'm like, I have nothing to do. I will sometimes go for the day. Whoa. I'll drive early in the morning, get there for like lunch. I'll have lunch. I'll gamble till like eight o'clock. And then I will drive back and be home by midnight.

You are an insane person. I am an insane person. Everybody listening to this podcast right now. They all know I'm an insane person. Okay. They all are well aware of my... I've listened to this podcast quite a bit. I did not know you're insane, but now...

They are... There are brand new James Bond slot machines that are going to be popping up pretty soon. themed by movie. Theemed by movie. I've seen... What casino will happen? It'll probably be all over the place. They were at the last slot machine trade show.

I saw them. I saw them on a video on YouTube. I don't know you were such a heavy gambler. I love a slot machine, but I also love... You didn't know how to play backerat. No idea. What was the game in Honor Majesty? It wasn't Backerad.

It was like... Oh, it was... Carte? Whatever it was. Bunk. Bunk. Du Huit? Banc.

that's that's Baccarat though right I don't know I've never been able to Even after the explanation Conceptually what I didn't understand was that the house was You were you were the players were bankrolling The game which I didn't understand Yeah I didn't understand and the house took a rake

You're talking about Baccarat We're talking about the We got onto it Honor Majesty Secret Service thing I was just starting to talk about the Casino Real How was your Walter? It was great Great I mean one of the best ever Fired properly

Those guns jam They're famous for it Oh yeah, that's right Yeah Oh, geez The P99 sucks The Beretta's jam What?

Well, that's what they say in Dr. No? I watched that recently No, he prefers Is it the Beretta that he prefers And they issue him in the Walter PPPK? Yeah, they make him Where's my Beretta? That's right

Oh, he likes the bretta. Yeah, and the Beretta jams, that's correct. Have you guys gotten a Willard White's house yet? No. Bambian Thubh Bambian Thumber, who I love, but also go down way too easily. Those girls, by the way. Especially after all they can do.

Oh, I know. This must have been in Palm Springs, because according to that guy, the tour guide, those women still live in Palm Springs. Yes, I think that's right. And they still look exactly the same. And he said that they're in incredible shape. I've seen the black woman at a couple of bond events, and she does look incredibly.

Exactly the same. Speaking of bond events, oh my God, this is. This is a bit of a tangent. Welcome to the podcast. Okay. Okay. I was filming a new TV show in a small town in Canada this summer. I was there for three months, and we got to know the mayor of the town quite well. It's for this sort of detective procedural comedy that is like Magnum P.I.

meets murder she wrote, I would say. It's called Carter. Comes out in April. Anyways, shameless plug. Sorry. No. So we got to know the mayor of this town that we were filming in, and he ended up having this big, he has a fundraiser every year. And this year, it was Bond-themed.

And so there was an aviation college in this town that trains a lot of pilots and engineers and people that go on to big aviation careers, but also military. There's a military base there and whatnot. This was also a town in northern Ontario that housed. a lot of the U.S.'s nuclear missiles during the Cold War because it was right along the flight path between Moscow and D.C. So if there was missiles coming over from Russia, they could fire nuclear missiles from this location in North Bay, Ontario, from this NORAD, like super underground NORAD base, very bond-like, with nuclear weapons. They had tons of U.S. military personnel in this town in the Cold War era. And nobody really...

knew about it. By the way, tiny town, how do you not know that you have, how does that not get out? Right. And you have all these American soldiers everywhere, but it was a NORAD base, and it was recently decommissioned, but they had nuclear weapons there for years, and nobody in the town knew. It was like a secret base that JFK had built by the Canadian government to house nuclear weapons. Nobody knew about it, except for select few. They do now, obviously. And we actually filmed on top of there's two areas in town we filmed on top of one place that

had nuclear weapons in like a little studio space under miles of bunkers craziness anyways up at the aviation college the mayor of this town lovely guy was very supportive of the show and us filming on location all over the place he has this

James Bond themed fundraiser and it goes to a couple causes in town and so So myself, I was in town that weekend and a couple of producers were and we wanted to make a show of appreciation for the, for helping us out. So we go to this event and it's in like they have all this paraphernalia and props and costumes from Bond films. But when we got there, there was mostly just like Russian uniforms, Russian military uniforms from some of the films or maybe even from the military base and like some old VHSs and like some board games and a few. few IDs and a few costumes.

And then in the actual hangar where the fundraiser was going, everybody's in tuxes and everything, they set up gambling tables. They had like a group come in with actual crewiers doing gambling for you. And you were handed a wallet with fake money

that you could use to gamble with. So you're at blackjack tables. I think they had roulette. They had what else? Poker. they had a few options and then also just a silent auction

and then paraphernalia and like all these helicopters everywhere that were actually at the aviation school a few other props I think I think like a fancy car that might have been in a modern Aston Martin that they somehow drove up from Toronto or something all this stuff and then they had a guest a special guest

and they were very excited about the special guest and they took as a sign they're like oh my god you guys are going to be very excited by the special guest oh man I'm excited it's going to be amazing We're like, who is in there? Like, we can't, we can't spoil it. I'm like, okay, oh my God, this is really interesting. And it's a James Bond Casino Night.

And it's like, you know, we're gambling with this fake money. And then, like, you know, getting drunk and like bidding on things in the silent auction. And they had a live auction, all this stuff. And then finally, the special guest comes out. It's the iguana from License to Kill. It's the Tiger Aguana from the Volkswagen Tiguan had. It was The bartender from Casino Royale

The one that makes the martini? Yeah The one that he says Do I look like a give a damn to that guy? I think so, yeah Oh my God Well, you know what still? I'm pretty excited

They created them around like crazy Just like so excited Canadian or English We're like you guys are going to be so excited We've got to They flew him over from London that's who they flew in because they could have gotten any one of these like Bambi or Thumber

because they always do these events maybe the price was too high. I didn't even, I didn't recognize the guy, I didn't remember the scene. I remember now that you said like, do I look like a give a damn? I'm like,

oh yeah, Daniel Craig said that. Yeah. I don't remember this guy. Is it the one that makes the Vesper? I think it's, that's the same one, isn't it? Oh.

Yeah, I mean, there is that guy, but he doesn't have a line or anything. Exactly. Because Bond orders the Vesper from a cocktail waiter or waitress, I think. Is that it? Or is it when he takes a break from the table? But he goes to the bar and Vesper gets one, but there's like that person's, I don't even think in focus, really. Well, they were very excited that they got the bartender from Casino. That's so funny. That's great. Yeah. Where did we had a blast. Where did they fly him in from? London. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's like fundraising dollars. That goes to that. Insanity. Yeah. Oh my God. Are you living above? I'm trying to find. I can't find him. I can't find him. Yeah, that's a tough call.

But we're, I was so excited. I thought it was going to be, you know, a bond villain or something, like something kind of cool. There's probably someone. And I'm sure if you're listening bartender from Casino Royale, whose name I forget, and I'm sorry I didn't recognize you. And I wish I had a chance to talk to you. I'm, I'm sorry. I'm not thrilled. I should be. Should have been more, he should have been more impressed. Did he reenact this scene? they probably made him say a line or something. I can't remember. Who knows? Because we don't even know if he had a line.

Yeah. Anyway. It was. That was amazing. It was amazing. Wow. And I ended up winning a tuxedo by live auction, like a made-to-order tuxedo. Oh, did you get it?

I spent a lot of money on it. And I had drinks. So a portion of one of my paychecks went to that. Wait. Oh, because of the fundraiser. That's good. Yeah, that's good. But how, did you get that tux yet?

yeah it doesn't fit it's a canadian tectedo it's all denim no it's like it's beautiful it's a beautiful midnight blue tucks like i got to choose the material the color the cut all the trimmings and everything so i went to the tailor very nice man measures me everything and uh and i it was towards the end of the season so i came back to l a came home here and then i had them delivered to my mother's house in toronto and over christmas i came home and stayed with her and tried it on, and it needs to be adjusted in many places. Well, and hence the dry January. Do you think it's because he did not do a great job or because you did not do a great job? No, because he's a terrible. I'm doing it for years, and he's fantastic. I could tell.

He just knew what he was doing, measuring me, writing down all the measurements. I think he did his job. I don't think my body has changed that much. He couldn't know. Since then. Maybe it was the metric. He was on the metric system. Yeah, no.

Like, did they use centimeters instead of inches? Like, where did you send this to? What happened? Because it's very tight. Yeah. Like, very tight. Yeah. I would not be able to wear this out of anywhere.

Speaking of clothing, I just adore what Jimmy Dean is wearing when they rescue him. He's got like... His flannel? No, he's got powder blue bell bottoms on, blue deck shoes, and like a navy blue, a royal blue, like, polka, flower polka dot shirt. Oh, right. It's just so cool. That's the best outfit in... Well, minus Jill St. John's wardrobes.

His acting when he sees daylight for the first time and so long is awful. I was expecting a Howard Hughes character with like really long fingernails and everything. I think that's what they were implying. I think that's what they were trying to do, but because he really wasn't. Yeah, because he really wasn't hide away. But I don't understand how they could keep him locked with a padlock underneath his own house. There is some story too, though, where either Saltsman or Broccoli was friends with. Howard Hughes. I think it was broccoli.

And was worried that he would be upset by this, but when did Howard Hughes die? Like, I feel like, mid-70s? So, yeah, I think he was alive. No, 71 is this film. So if it's mid-70s, he's still alive. Yeah, I think he was worried. He was still alive. He was the one of shut down the street for him. I think they were worried that he would be upset, but actually, I think he asked to screen the film or something like that. I really need to relearn my bond lore. Sort of like, uh,

Hitler and the Great Dictator Charlie Chathampton's great dictator. Apparently he loved that film. I heard that. He thought it was very funny. I'm like, damn it, no, you're supposed to hate that film. He died in 76. Okay, yeah, that's it. Great dictator, one of my favorite films.

Brilliant. It's a goodie. Wow. Howard Hughes gave $1.65 billion dollars to charity. Wow. Same with Jimmy Dean. Sausages. Sausage charity.

Yeah. breakfast sausages. He's terrible. How dare you guys enjoy him? I mean, it might be that he sold the sausages for so many years. It's because he's Jimmy Dean and you enjoyed his sausages. It's in your DNA. It's like somehow worked its way in your body.

He's American as well as Jimmy Dean. I love Jimmy Dean. No one's more American than Jimmy Dean. Let's get to this oil rig because this movie basically falls apart. So much so that we didn't even realize this. We learned this when we did the poster episode that, you never learn Blofeld's fate. You never see him escape or see him die.

He's just kind of dangling in that submarine as the oil rig blows up in places. Could have been sent far off. Like an explosion could have pushed that thing. Yeah, but you don't know. Somewhere. Also, I love Bond's very slow, ineffectual fucking with him while everybody is shooting and blowing things up on the oil rig. He's like,

that's the best part. Very softly. bumping him against the wall. But the fact that Jill St. John is so dainty that a machine gun blows her essentially off of the rig. Yeah. But, this blocks off backwards. And also,

I just like the real crumagony way that Blofeld is talking to the crane operator. Yeah. Yeah. That's what you would expect from a bottle. Yes. No, no respect for his employees. No, zero. Yeah.

He's not a good leader. Yeah. So it blows up and then we cut to a little... Also the most anti-climactic ending to a bond from like... I was like, that's it? I do like that bond does the most perfect dive. I know. It's a beautiful dive, and I'm sure they hired some like Olympic diver

to throw in a suit and do that. Yeah. Well done. Yeah. But so anti-clim. All James Bond have a history of great dives. That's true, huh? Yeah.

Yeah, because brazen enough... Oh, Brosnan's dive and the world is not enough is the best dive. was the best dive in Bond history. When is that one? Into the submarine. When he dives in to get the submarine. The way he takes off that linen jacket. Oh, yeah.

Tucks that. Daniel Craig's dive in the venous, sinking Venice building. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's a brilliant dive. Great aquatic set. He's jumping through debris and everything. Does Roger Moore have a decent dive?

I don't know. Does he dive? That shot us down. No. Well, they have. They have the thing in For Your Eyes only way he gets yanked off the boat. Right. That's kind of a dive.

There's no dive. I don't think he dives. Does Dalton dive? Doesn't Dalton? He didn't have enough chances to. He would have dove. Leasonby did not have enough chances. He would have dived.

He would have dived. He played in the surf a lot. Poor one out for you, Tim Dalton. We'll do a podcast episode on diving. Oh, I would love to do that. I would love to do that episode. In year 19. Okay.

So the... Get onto the cruise ship. Yeah. On the cruise ship. Jimmy Dean. offers to call the captain and tell him to do circles and inconveniences. If you're having a good time. Yeah.

I love it. I love it. Ruin this schedule. He's that powerful. Putter Smith really got lit on fire. That's another thing I learned in talking about it. Really? That wasn't.

They just basically went like, here we're going to do this to you and he didn't think much of it. And my first thought was, what did that wispy hair? Yeah. There's no gel on your hair. There's nothing in that hair. Yeah, but like no fire retardant. Does his hair burn off?

No, but it was just his arms. It was very close. And he said they'd cut and then come spray him. But he just said it wasn't a big thing. That's crazy. Most movie stuff wasn't. That's old school movie making, right? I love how that's how we get sag rules.

Right. That's his move. Some puttersmith somewhere died. Yeah. That's his murdering move. The flaming kebubes. Yeah. And also, I don't think he's dead.

Who, Pudtersmith? Not Putter Smith, but his character of Mr. Kidd. I don't think Mr. Mr. Wint died by blowing up mid-air. But listen to this, Mr. Wint, there's the first time I've always watched when Connery grabs between his legs and pulls him up that it's like...

But that's the thing. I always saw that as, yeah, like, oh, he's gay, so he must be into anything deviant. Even if a man is trying to kill him, there's still sex trumps that because he's gay, right? 100%. That's like an old, like, perception of, like, gay behavior. Right.

100%. But this time, it was like a moment. and Lisa's smile of perfect riding the line of, is he playing it like he likes it or playing it like it's hurting him? And I don't know why this time it rang. Because he's a good actor. He's brilliant. He's brilliant. Well, he used to teach an acting class too. No, he didn't. Yes. When you'd go to auditions, there would be a little like Xerox thing with those little tabs you could pull off with the phone number. Bruce Glover from Diamonds of Forever teaches acting. I don't know why I didn't go. Yeah, why didn't you go? I don't know.

I just signed a great regret of my life. I think he still does. I think he still teaches. I can. I've got another class. Should the three of us also take that class together? We should definitely secretly take that class. We should.

Now, that is something we really should go do, is go take the Bruce Glover acting class. I'm in. I will totally do that. Let me Google this right now. We could do a special episode. So bad at it. I would be so bad at his class. Well, I don't think anybody taking that class would be bad.

You will all become, we will become better. You guys are right. You guys are really making me see the forest through the trees here. Let's see if he even has a website. You take a Bruce Glover acting class to become a better actor. Okay, hold on. Also, while you're looking that up, speaking of like... It's on Yelp.

Oh, how many stars does that have? Five. Whoa. How many reviews? How many are by Bruce? Four reviews. Bruce Glover's Guide to Acting on the Right Side of the Brain. There's also something called acting the simple way.

Acting Class, hold on, there's a lot here. Oh my God. Bruce Glover, you are a man of a talent. Okay. Bruce Glover's guide to acting on the right side of the brain. A talent, I don't know what it is. Contact me, and here's his email and phone number. This is like Tommy with those.

Yeah, I was what I said. It's like the board billboard. Hold on. Okay, listen. Bruce Glover is closed today. There's audio. What do I do in my class? You have to go to Bruce Glover.

blogspot.com. Blogspot. Great website. Oh, my God. He looks like old-aged Chet Baker. He is grizzled. Oh, my God.

He has been through a time. Post-airwin, post-new set of teeth, Chet Baker. But anyway, it might be a field trip to Bruce Glover's acting studio.

I'm so in. I'm so in to spending that money. Well, it's got our favorite henchments. Yeah. It's got our

well, it's not really our favorite. We did the henchman ranking episode. They were up there. They're way up there. Out of all Bond films? Out of all Bond films. Oh, geez. I forgot to.

Winton Kid, we really... I love Winton Kid. We really put up there. It's time to rank this movie. Yeah, let's rank the movie on a scale of a double O nothing to 007. Pretty

solid ranking for me. I think I'm going to give it a A double O3. That's not a solid ranking. That's below average. It's almost in the middle. Almost a three and a half. 003.

What do you mean solid, though? That's pretty solid. That's a flimsy rating. It's a pretty solid rating. I was expecting a five or something. God no. Well, I mean, maybe you're giving it a five. I am.

I'm giving it a double o five. Wow. I love the campiness. It's so bonkers. It's another one of those weird ones. Like I said, I think it's the first one that jumps the shark and I got to give it props for that. I have to say I watch this one the second most to Octopus.

Me too. I love watching this one. And without your diamonds are forever, your view to a kills, your die in other days, you can't have your casino royals, your four-your-as-onlys. You're on Her Majesty's Secret Service. You've got to have your downs if you're got to have your loves. Your yins and your yangs. Christian, what would you give us on a scale of 0-0-0-0 to 007?

I was going to give it a 00-4. but I'm going to bump it up to 004.5 because of Jill St. John and she's just so awesome as a Bond Bond Girl. Yeah.

She's fantastic. You better lay off that beauty. She handles those terrible lines. Oh, boy. Blow up your pants. Blow up your... What does that mean? I love her to death.

You just killed James Bond. She is killer in all those bikinis. She's gorgeous. Gosh. Cool. Well, Well, you can go to podswag.com slash bond. And we signed a bunch of new posters, though I don't think they're up yet, but they should be up soon.

Oh, they will be. They'll be available for purchase. We signed some more posters in blue ink this time on the white. That's right. Change it up. So you now know if you have a V1 or a V2. Oh, yeah. And the wonderful T-shirts are still up there.

And guess what? Guess what's coming soon? Oh, I feel like. You asked for it. You asked for it. You asked for it. I was saying specifically you. It turns out. So many other people asked for it too.

A knick-knack-Tabasco shirt. A knick-knack-Tabasco t-shirt is coming. Done by none other than the wonderful Bond comic artist Ibrahim Mustafa who did so much. Kindly drew us into the comics. Yes. I'm thrilled about that. Yeah. Is it the recent series that came out or is it an older series?

It's one-shot series called Solstress. Solstice. Yeah. Oh. We're watching a movie. We're watching the movie. We're having a great time. When was this published?

Recently. That's the most recent one. Yeah. So, Matt, it's that time where we have to figure out what the next James Bond movie will be. Matt, let me ask your advice on something. Should I pick, knowing, you know, we got a fair amount of Roger Morris left. We sure do. And Conneries.

We sure do. Should I pick to, like, spread things. things out wisely or should I pick what I want to see? I like to think of this sort of the way we've been picking these movies. I like to think of it as like a meal, you know, where we've just, we've just had some diamonds or forever. Yeah. What's going to go good with that? What's going to go good with it? Or also like what after that junk food? What do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you hope and comes out? No, I don't know. I can't explain why I want to pick a certain movie. This is a prefixed meal and there's something coming out of the kitchen. The chef is sending

something. Matt, what is it? This is tough. This is really tough. Bert Saxby? Because I don't, for right now. Connecting the Bad Sheriff. What I want to pick is not a more movie, which is what I think we should do,

because we got a lot of more left to cover. We got a lot more to go. We've only done one more? Oh, my God. We have only done one. Are you serious? Just view to a kill? That's right.

Okay, I have to choose a more movie. We're going to be stuck with just more movies. Go for a good one. like his first one. Oh yeah, I love that one, but I kind of want to save that. That would be three in a row in order, which we've never done. I feel like Man with the Golden Gun is somehow too similar to this one in just it's like seven. You should save that for the premiere of the Nicknack Tabasco T-shirt.

That's a good idea. What era of Roger Moore are we going to, man? Okay. When he's in his prime or when he's way past his prime? Guess what? Which actually, he comes back to being in his prime again. I'm going shark jumping here. We're going to do some moon race.

That is the perfect movie to follow Diamonds or Forever. That is the Roger Moore Diamonds are forever. You want to, you know, I just, you know, I got a little taste of space with that satellite. That's right. And quite frankly, I'd like a little more taste of space. Well, great news. Christian, where can people find you? What's up next?

I'm on the Twitter at the Brune. The R-U-U-N. You got it. W. T-A-G-B-R-U-N. On Instagram at Bonnie Castle, B-O-N-N-Y-C-A-S-T-L-E, which is one of my names. Oh. Oddly enough.

But if you just search Christian Brun, you'll find it all. Wait, what do you mean it's one of your names? My full name is not Christian Brune. It is Charles Christian Bonnie Castle Brune. What? Yeah. Great name. All one word, Bonnie Castle?

All one word, Bonnie Castle. What does that come from? That's my mother's maiden name. Oh. That's a great name. That is a very, that name should be in a Bond film as a character. There should be a Bonnie Castle somewhere in there. Absolutely. Wow. Bonnie Castle.

Only fitting because my mother got me into Bond. She loves James Bond films. Carter comes out, this new detective procedural starring Jerry O'Connell, Sydney, Tamiya, the daughter of Sydney Poitier and myself. We'll be coming out in March or April, so just keep an eye out for Carter. It's a good fun detective. procedural. I'm not sure yet.

It's Sony. It's not CBC. Oh my God, what? In Canada, it's going to be on Bravo and Crave TV, which is like their streaming service. Bless you. And then Sony is distributing it worldwide, so I'm not sure where they've got it around the world in the States at this point. But yeah.

We'll keep our eyes up for Carter. All right. Matt, anything you got to report? No. Tune in on Sundays, all access. After Trek. After Trek is back. It is.

We have five more episodes to go, guys. We're in the mirror universe. What's going to happen? I don't know what any of that means. Well, James Bonding will return. James Bonding podcast. This has been an Earwolf production, executive produced by Scott Ackerman, Chris Bannon, and Colin Anderson. For more information and content, visit Earwolf.com.

Hey, this is Arnie Neckham from the Improof. Prop Fantasy podcast Hello from the Magic Tavern. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical land of food, and I started a podcast. Season three has just begun with a brand new adventure to defeat the Dark Lord. If you're a new listener or you've fallen behind season three is a great jumping on point. And we've got great guests like Justin McElroy. I sat like a fancy college professor.

Hate nuts. Rachel Bloom. You all see my collection of men corpses and one woman. Felicia Day and Colton Dunn. You've seen me have intercourse with a variety of species. It's a bummer. Andy Daly. You have the members of Genesis listed.

But Phil Collins has crossed out and then Circle did he cross out again. Yes, I have killed Phil Collins twice. Thomas Middletch. Jesus. I mean, Jarzos. Ruler of the eighth circle. And that's just the beginning. Season 3 of ALO from the Magic Tavern is out now.

Listen in Stitcher, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.